Over the span of two decades, author, columnist, consultant and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Her experiences inspired her to pen "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories," a portable support group book for caregivers.

Answers

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I was not notified that my dad took me off as Power Of Attorney. Should I have been notified in writing?


You did your best. If he is competent, there's not a lot more you can do. It's very sad, but unless you are willing to go to court... see more

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How do you get dental work and eye exams when the patient with Alzheimer's doesn't understand what is happenin...


This is tough. You may want to read the article Eye, Ear, Teeth Check-ups Are Difficult When Elders Have Dementia at... see more

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My 89-year-old mom lives alone and complains constantly. I also live alone and my mom wants me to move in with...


If you could get her to go to adult day care, she'd make friends and be cared for, but I realize she likely wouldn't do this. One... see more

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Why is there so little info (and emphasis) on the Shingles vaccine?


I did the same thing you did - I got the vaccine, saying I'll pay for it! Then, my insurance company paid and that was when the vaccine... see more

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Is there medicine out there that will help to improve memory?


Everything mentioned here is good. It's said that what is good for the heart is good for the brain, so the right diet, lots of aerobic... see more

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My Mom gets very agitated and upset when she rides in a vehicle. What can I do to make traveling less stressfu...


There's no logic, here, unfortunately. Often, with dementia, what she is perceiving visually is what's scaring here because she... see more

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Why is the moon from my cuticles receding toward the tips of my nails?


Finger nails and hair are a clue to overall health. You should ask your doctor. There could be a nutrient you are missing, or you may be... see more

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Has anyone used the "stove guard" alarm for their elderly loved ones? It is supposed to shut off stoves that h...


I haven't tried it, but it sounds good. Let's hope we hear from a consumer!
Thanks for bringing it up,
Carol

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Is it possible to take care of my mother full-time and have a romantic relationship at the same time?


You are not a bad person at all. Feeling "trapped" at this point is normal. You may have done as much for your mom on your own as... see more

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Where can I find help for my elderly father who is on Medicare A and just recently had a stroke and needs reha...


I would add to Jeannegibbs' excellent advice that you could contact www.ltcombudsman.org for some leadership. He could go to a nursing... see more

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My 94-year-old mother is living with my sister. What can I do if my sister refuses to let my children or I vis...


If you feel your rights are violated, or if you think your mother could be in danger, you should go to Social Services and have them do a... see more

Question

How do you care for a dementia or Alzheimer's parent who suffers from erratic sleep cycles?


Hi Kathleen, I'm afraid this is a common problem. I think the doctor needs to review your mom's medications and then maybe he or... see more

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Why is it so hard to find good quality caregivers through caregiving agencies?


Unfortunately, many parts of the country have better laws in place and better care agencies. I would use a respected chain. I'm not... see more

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Can Adult & Aging Services help an elder obtain bankruptcy?


Hi Louisa If they can't they should be able to direct you or the person you are helping. Also, your state legal department may be of... see more

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How do I get my elderly parent to eat?


Hi Sandraann, When an elder's appetite lags, fruit, jello, puddings and other cool or light things generally go down best. Also, small... see more

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How do you understand your elderly loved one when they are in advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease and are g...


As with AD, I'd suggest that you treat him as though he understands what is going on if you are talking about him, but that you... see more

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Can I put my mother into a nursing home without her consent?


I agree that perhaps you could try social services. This is a horribly sad situation for you, but you may just have to live with it if SS... see more

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Could my mother's constant bladder infections be caused by the adult diapers she is using?


This is so sad! Has she seen a urologist? I'm assuming she has. A geriatrician who really knows the problems of elders may be helpful.... see more

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Is it wrong for me to pre-arrange mom’s funeral without my siblings input?


In the end, you'll likely feel better if you make one last effort to contact your siblings. You may want to do this through a family... see more

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How do I tell an elderly relative who lives with us that they have bad body odor?


Does this person have a friend who can help? Often, someone other than family members can address these issues without seeming offensive.... see more

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