Over the span of two decades, author, columnist, consultant and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Her experiences inspired her to pen "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories," a portable support group book for caregivers.

Answers

Question

How do I tell mom that this IS her home and that dad IS her husband?


I'm sorry to say that this is typical behavior for Alzheimer's disease and some other dementias. Painful as it is, you need to... see more

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My father (66) often hesitates to shave or bathe or go out of the house. Can anybody suggest how to help him?...


There may not be a lot you can do. I wonder if the fact that your mom is going out into the world with a job while he's retired is part... see more

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How do I get help for a neighbor living alone with no family support?


I'm assuming this is an elderly person and that the injury will continue to be an issue. It's very kind of you and your neighbors... see more

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Where do I start to get financial help and guidance in lower living costs?


Many non-profit counseling centers offer free or sliding scale financial counseling. You can call your local social services for a referral... see more

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How will I know when my home is no longer safe for my dad with dementia?


it sounds as if, for your dad's sake and for your family, the time is now. As for the kind of nursing home he'll get into, it... see more

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Will my mother still get her VA aid with the government shut down?


So far, this should be okay. Much depends on what happens today. What we have now is a partial government shutdown and... see more

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Does anyone use Hospice?


I used it for both of my parents and our local hospice was amazing. I kind of got my parents back for awhile after their pain was better... see more

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Are there laws or codes and Trade Associations directly related to the design and construction of Elder Care f...


I would think that this depends on where you live. Check with your city engineer's office. They should be able to direct you to the... see more

Question

Balance, boundaries and getting my life back. How?


Don't feel sorry for rambling - we're here to listen. Please keep checking back. People on this site understand you. It would... see more

Question

Mum does not like me taking dad out.


As always, Jeanne had a wonderful answer. As long as your dad doesn't return confused and disoriented, an outing is likely good for... see more

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Dad is not well, wants to move into my home or have me move into his, and I can't. What are the options?


I'm sorry, GrannySmith, my signature got cut off on the answer : ) I meant to write for you to take care of yourself, too.
Carol

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Dad is not well, wants to move into my home or have me move into his, and I can't. What are the options?


I'd look into assisted living. In-home care is good but for 24-hour care it would likely cost more than assisted living. A private,... see more

Question

I am researching toilets, does the shape matter? Elongated or round?


Most nursing homes seem to use the elongated ones. I think there's more support for the person sitting on it.
Carol

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Can an elderly person be forced out of their home when he/she can no longer take care of themself?


About the only thing that can be done by force is that you request a welfare check from Social Services. If they determine that he is... see more

Question

How can we get Mom to go to sleep at night? She wanders the house constantly.


This seems to be an extreme case of Sundowning. The restlessness and need to "do something" generally starts toward the end of... see more

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Can changes in mom's life rapidly increase the progression of her Alzheimer's?


Change is very hard on someone with Alzheimer's. Considering that, in the later stages, they often barely recognize where they are and... see more

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Mom (90) is being kicked out of nursing home. Now what?


I agree. This should not happen. You did what you were told to do and were told everything was on track. Try your congress person.... see more

Question

Bupropion/Welbutrin regular or sustained?


It makes complete sense. Sometimes the coating on a tablet can make a difference.It may not release well because of digestive issues. Even... see more

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My mother is very ill and unable to sign a POA. How can I protect her interest?


It looks to me like you need to see an elder law attorney fast. Sadly, I doubt that you can do much without legal help. Good luck,... see more

Question

What's the best way to get an accurate diagnosis of Mom's level of Dementia?


All I can say here is that Jeannegibbs said it all - beautifully. Thanks Jeanne and Rachel, take care of yourself by staying in touch on... see more

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