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exactly! it would be the only scary thing about her dying. O.O
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PS to Pamela--I hear you!! I am hoping ZERO visits from mine either. That would just be termed "NIGHTMARE." or a HAUNTING! ROFL!!
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PS Lisa--please do share your 'one' story. I'd love to hear it.
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You guys are so sweet for indulging me. All these years later, the memories are as vivid as the day they happened. You know, my dad was born in November and died in November (exactly 3 weeks after his 78th BD) and so November is always a tough month for me. We always take vacation time in November (I designed it this way on purpose) and my husband can tell you that there have been times (even on vacation) when I wake up in tears, usually at least once in the month of November, and I say to him 'why in hell am I crying? I have no idea!' and he always says 'well I know why--it's because of your dad.' Maybe I had some inner thought or memory or dream but I don't recall what it is that makes me wake up crying like that, nothing really remarkable woke me or troubled me..

I had the freezing, frigid cold from within feeling the night he died, and sandwiched between that and the man in the window, this happened. Soon after he had died, maybe two weeks or so, I was sitting in our living room where we used to live. We had these upholstered chairs that swiveled and I was chatting on the phone with my daughter this one evening, and of all things, we were talking about my mother. No one was home and the house was very quiet, and as I was sitting there, I became aware of something hitting the back of the chair. Like it had been lightly 'punched.' I hadn't given it much thought. Our golden retriever was there, so I subconsciously thought she had walked behind the chair and bumped it. I was still carrying on the conversation and I was re-thinking the bump I felt, so I swiveled the chair around to see if it was our dog, and there she was, sound asleep on the floor under the dining room table, a whole room away. So--what hit the back of the chair? It was enough to feel it and slightly 'move' the chair. I don't mind telling you, I was kind of freaked out about that--it kind of scared me because I sensed a negative kind of energy after that. Was he upset with me that I was talking about my mother? He certainly was no big 'fan' of hers, so it was puzzling...and it was soon after he died. The only thing I can think was that the matching chair next to it was where I can remember sitting one day and I was alone in the house and I was crying for him--but it was one time when I really let it out. Ever notice how you stifle crying? I know I do, but this one day I cried like a child. Wailed, grieved and cried as loudly as I felt like it. I never cry like that. I wondered if he had been there with me that day and knew it, crying and talking to him like that, saying "oh daddy, daddy" over and over again. I never did that before or ever again, just that one time. Ironically, on the day of my father's funeral, we learned of the death of a very dear neighbor who lived directly across the street from us. There was, as I said, a feeling of alot of energy surrounding us during that period of time. It's so apparent, it is palpable. But the chair incident was no less bizarre as the outline in the window except that was unmistakeable. That was undeniably a "vision."

Then there was what I was sure was an 'out of body' experience I had during the night. I tried to read up on these things, since I had heard about them and it was so intriguing to me. I can't call it a dream, because I've had other fleeting dreams of him, but this was totally different, and Cat, I can tell you, if you ever have this experience, don't let it upset you, because initially it did me, and it was because of the content of this experience I had with him. I was meeting him on a street and waiting for him, and then, there he was. I was thrilled, but he was very standoff-ish to me. I was questioning him and I wasn't alone, someone else was there with me, not sure if it was my mother or not, but we were grilling him. I went to kiss him but he was not even like my father, more like a stranger. I asked him how he was doing and he told me he was 'very busy.' I asked him again what it was like for him, what was he doing and he held up a hand and said that he was working with Michael the Archangel and he couldn't stay with me very long. He also mentioned doing the work of a particular kind of church. (I never even heard of the name of that church he mentioned before. It began with the letter "C" and I can't remember now what it was-I want to say 'charismatic' but that wasn't it.) I ran that church word by a few people back then and no one knew what I was talking about. Probably why I forgot the word.) It felt like he was on "leave" from his post and that he had to return quickly, didn't have alot of time away. He wanted to walk away from me and go back to wherever with Michael presumably and I wanted to hug him and kiss him--so I went to hug him, which he allowed me to do, but he did not even hug me back. I was confused and kind of feeling hurt, after all I was his daughter that I knew he adored. When I got up that day I could still feel that I had hugged him.

I wanted so much to keep him there and talk to him, but it was so clear at that moment that he was no longer of the earth and he had much, much bigger and more important things to do than anything of an earthly nature, including me. He really wasn't like my dad anymore, he belonged to heaven. And I understood and felt kind of peaceful after this experience because I knew he had really fully passed on and was so content now. This was a man who positively thrived on hard physical work and that experience stayed with me and still stays with me because I knew how my father hated to be idle and when God took him home, he immediately knew he had a true soldier return.

If others have these experiences, please do let me hear them. I know I am not the only one who can attest to these events--and Cat, I'd be really interested to hear what your sister has to say. I won't be surprised in the least if he wants to finish some business with her. You know, we stayed in that room with him from morning until late afternoon, all of us, only leaving individually to go to the bathroom or eat or whatever when he was unconscious and some part of me kept thinking he might bounce back since he had done that SO many times before. His home health aide was with us that whole day, and when she said "I'll stay with him, go...all of you...have dinner" we said ''ok'' and don't you know, that was when he died, when ALL of us left the room. I never went back into that room to see him. The next time I did was at his viewing. We must really have had unfinished business. That last experience was the last one I ever had. Except of course, those weird days waking up in tears for no apparent reason!

Much love--thanks for letting me share these experiences with all you sweet people. Though we will probably never meet, I feel a real closeness to all of you!
PJ
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oh God, i don't care how unfinished she feels, please do not let my mother visit me after she dies! ROFLMAO!
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Punch: absolutely share. I only have 1 experience. But I so believe our loved ones are with us and watching over us.
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Punch: If you don't mind sharing, just post about your visitations here. I'd love to hear them and I'm sure everyone else would too.

As you may know, my brothers came to see my dad 2 weeks before he passed. He was so happy to have them with him. My sister, however, did not come. She didn't come when my mom was dying either.

My sister is someone who is open to visitations. She felt my mom connected with her. Maybe she will hear from my dad too. She was very special to them.

Hugs, Cat
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Cat, it's a fact then--he was so ready to go, all closure done and everyone spoken for! And your mom, waiting at the gate with her arms open wide to meet him!! Lovely!! I was not in the room when my father died. One brother did tell him it was "ok to go" but in my mind, that was not sufficient for him...he did not feel he had closure with me and that is why he "visited" as he did (I have 3 stories exactly, including the one of him 'at the window'). If ever anyone is interested in the "visitation" I had with him (some may call it a dream) and what he had to say to me, let me know--as that was when he told me that his work in heaven had commenced and he would not be around hovering any longer. Seriously, these things are real. They are not figments of our imagination. Your dad certainly was outta there-and I am happy for you, because I am convinced my father did not want to linger or hover, but felt he had to. When he was truly "gone" I knew it. Some people say they know the spirits visit when they see butterflies, or pennies, or whatever...Dad and I had our little "ways." :) xoxox
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Punch: I think you are so right. I don't think my dad wanted to linger here. I think Lisa summed it up when she said my dad went from holding my hand to running into my mother's arms. BTW Lisa, I will hold that sentence in my heart forever. It was so beautiful and exactly what my dad would have done.

After my dad passed, I held his hand to my face and said a prayer to God, asking him to take my dad to him and also thanking him for letting me be with my dad for those many hours before his passing. After that, I went out of the room to get the nurse. Warren was just coming in the door to my dad's room and I told him Dad was gone. He stayed with my dad and I got the nurse so we could confirm his death.

After that, I was ready to leave. I felt no compulsion to linger. After the nurse finished with her confirmation, I went over to my dad and held him tight and told him I loved him one more time. My dad was nowhere in that room. He was gone and his spirit freed.

So Punch, I agree with you that some spirits linger and some don't. My dad knew I loved him and I knew that he loved me. He also knew that I would be ok. I had told him before he died that he didn't need to worry about any of us. We would all be fine and he needed to go be with mom. We would join him when our time came.

My dad never was one to linger. Now that I think of it, I'm reminded of when we took my dad to dinner with some neighbor friends. We all visited and had dinner and visited. When it was time to leave I asked my dad if he was ready to go. He said, "I've been ready to go for the last hour."

I miss my dad, but he had my permission to leave and he was out of there. I left right behind him and felt no need to linger. I can hear him saying, I was ready to go an hour ago.

Love you all, Cat
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Survived 2,

I am so glad you are working to get your life back. Your mother will do whatever she can to make you feel like it is a useless attempt or that you are being mean and hateful to her. Just hang in there and stay strong until it is all straightened out. You have every right to protect your family and your own well being. I know from experience that you can't deal with an addiction problem yourself. It takes professionals to deal with addiction. Your mother is responsible for putting herself in her current mess, not you!
Good Luck to you and HANG IN THERE!
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Cat ((((((hugs)))))) you will have moments of missing for a while, but lots of great memories

beck and others -wonderful experiences you have shared. I have some similar from my father and from Gordie. They help as do dreams. There is lots we don't understand, but I am convinced our loved ones are not too far away.

((((((hugs))))) to all Joan
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((((((Lisa)))))). How reassuring to hear that from the detective. You are doing the right thing! What a blessing that that is totally clear now. No matter what happens you know what to do. ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Joan
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maybe Judy that's why i didn't feel my dad around. he is one of a small number of people in my life who walked his talk, no doubt in my mind where he went, and probably running! he loved his Lord so much. i've dreamt of him, but always pleasant dreams with no real meanings or messages. maybe it's because as much as i miss him, i feel like we had closure before i left. no unfinished business, no goodbyes to say. i don't know, just guessing...
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Cat, some spirits linger longer than others--your dad may have ascended really quickly and felt his business here was finished. This is certainly not a bad thing! Enjoy those wonderful, warm, hugging, hand holding, stroking moments that you had, because many of us never had that opportunity. Love and hugs, PJ
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I LOVE the fact that you can just watch all this from afar, Lisa--it's so FREEING! She is her own worst enemy and no matter what, you and an army would not be able to fix it. Be done and make those phone calls when/if nec. and nothing beyond that scope of liability. Ahhh....feels good. xo
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Lisa.....Damn...thats one mean woman!!!! Sooooo glad she's not under ur roof any longer....n good for u for listening to the Det. advice....U don't need any more shit than u already endured!....love ya
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Well, DQ's place of residence called me last night to alert me my nephew showed up and signed in. Mom let him into her apt. So I called her and asked if she invited him. Well she started screaming and cussing me out. I hung up. I called t and the 2 detectives working her case. They told me it's documented and when she calls me broke, call health and human services. They closed her case. For 18 years she has habitually allowed this to happen to her. Det asked why I continue bailing her out. I told him my fear of being held liable if I didn't fix it. He said girl, I've worked spousal and elder abuse for 30 years and I'm betting I know the laws better than the judge sitting the bench. The only thing you would be lliable for is if she called for help and you didn't pick up the phone and report she needs help. You record your date, time, name of person you reported the call to. Your done. So I did, it's recorded, have all 3 names and it's been documented.

Cat: praying for you and the family and holding you close to my heart!!!
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Hi everyone: Well, no visit from dad last night. Maybe later. I don't know. This is weird to mention, I had a cockatiel (sp) who lived to be 21 years old. When he died, I felt him around me for a very long time. I could hear him in his cage, which was gone, but it was just like he was in the room with us. When my beloved dog, Kate, died at age 11 years (she was my soul mate), I thought for sure I would feel her around. Never did. My parents were here then and my mom had just undergone cancer surgery and I had spent days in Seattle with her at the hospital where she had her surgery. Then came home and Kate was sick and then we found out she had cancer, very aggressive and she could bleed to death any minute, so we had to let her go. Maybe it was the stress of my mom's cancer and Kate's dying. Maybe I just put up walls to ease the pain and was not receptive to feeling what might have wanted to reach out to me.

When my mom passed, I never felt her presence, but it was a hugely stressful time. It was December and snowing and she was in Seattle at the hospital. I'd been there for a week by her side. My brother finally came up and relieved me so I could go home (2 1/2 hours away). But once I got home, I knew I needed to come back and bring my dad to see her. My husband had been bringing dad back and forth to seem mom while I was at the hospital with her. But then hubby left to go to see our son and Granddaughter in No. Dakota. He had made these plans much in advance and was going alone because we could not both be gone at the same time. He offered to stay home, but he really needed to get his kid fix so I pleaded with him to just go.

Of course, I had to make a couple more trips with my dad to see mom and we got caught in a couple of snow storm, navigated accidents. It was so stressful and so cold, 14 degrees, which is so crazy with being on the ocean. So, again, maybe I was just shut down and only able to do what was absolutely necessary. My dad saw my mom many times after her passing, but I never felt her close by.

My niece, who was 21, underwent surgery for a cochlear implant in 2011, right after my dad had his stroke. During the surgery, she saw my mom and spent time talking to her. She told Amy to tell my dad that she loved him. It was the first thing Amy talked about when she came out from under the anesthetic. Of course, I passed that onto my dad and it made him so happy. There was no doubt in his mind that my mom had visited Amy.

So today it was out in the garden for me. I trimmed by a big hedge that had taken over 3 feet of our deck. It didn't feel spiritual, more like work, but it was good to get some things accomplished. Dug up some pots that contained bulbs and split them up and re-potted. During the process, I felt myself being a bit stressed and rushed. I realized I was thinking, "OK, I'll get this done today and make up for it by spending more time with dad tomorrow." I am just so use to feeling like I need to be in two places at one time. It was so strange to remember Dad isn't hear now. There is no need to feel stressed, guilty or rushed. I can work on this tomorrow too. So, I realize that I am working on adjusting to the new normal.

I would love for my dad and mom to visit me. Don't know if that will ever happen, but I envy those of you who have had that experience. On the other hand, I am grateful for the many intimate hours I spent by my dad's side while he passed into the next world. If that's all I get, I'll take it and be grateful.

Love and hugs to all of you, Cattails
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PunchnJudy....thanku for such a beautiful memory of ur dad....I always marvel at those who can relate to wat my husband n i experienced those many years ago...I believe, with all my heart n soul....that wat u saw in that window that morning, was dad......Ur memory of that visitation made my hair stand up....or....Pop's back in the room, again...lol.....thanku for sharing that very personal part of ur life....im honored...much love
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Beckncall--your story really touches me and brings back the same kind of experience I had when my father died in 1995 and I will never forget those feelings--but isn't it really hard putting it into words! What you experienced was real, and even though some may say it is 'wishful thinking' we know otherwise! How blessed you were to have those experiences, and trust me--you won't ever forget them and what you were feeling at those very moments. Somewhere else on this site I told the story of the day my father died and when we all went back to his house in NJ (it was in the month of November) I had a feeling of coldness emanating from inside. They all call it the "core" now and that is how I describe it, coldness that was coming from within. Coldness that only I was feeling and my teeth were chattering. Everyone in the family kept looking at me like I was possessed and I couldn't figure it out either, kept thinking maybe it was stress but never have I had a feeling of cold from stress (and I've had enough experience with stress to know!)--no amount of heat or sweaters would take away this incredible feeling of cold I was feeling but my skin was not cold. I never had that before or since and I was so close to my dad, that I had this sense of 'it just was not natural to feel coldness from within, not without.' I knew my dad's spirit was hovering so soon after he died. The cold went away, but I felt his presence for days and weeks afterward and just as you said, you had a 'realization' when it left. I had other "visitations" from my father, and they were real, tangible experiences, not imagined. One was so extraordinary, I would like to share it if you don't mind. About a month or so after he died, I woke one morning and just sat up in bed, marveling at the great amount of sunshine in the room. Normally I get out of bed, but I wasn't this time, I was just sitting there, trying to soak in all this wonderful sunshine and brightness. I can still see myself sitting there and this entire scene! We had windows on either side of our bed, and the windows had stained wood shutters on them, and they were always in the down and darkest closed position. For some reason, I was still sitting there, and felt the urge to look at the window on my left. I nearly cowered at what I saw. Clearly, there was an outline of a man at the window. very still - head and shoulders, which reminded me of a Van Gogh painting, (not the painting itself, just the outline of so many of his portraits of men). It was glowing so brightly and clear as a bell, but I was in a bit of a panic, as this was a 2nd floor window. There were not houses close enough to reflect someone outside the window. It was only around 6:30 or 7 in the morning. But it was clear as it could be. We had a satellite dish on our house for a while but we weren't happy with it and discont. the svce., , so my immediate thought was maybe someone from the company put a ladder up and were out there taking away the dish? If so then I was thinking that was tremendously rude for someone to do that at that hour! When all of around 30 seconds had passed, I finally moved off the bed and whipped open the shutters. Nothing. No one. Perfectly still and quiet. Kept wondering if maybe if someone standing on the deck on the next door property might possibly be able to cast a shadow? if you could see the position of the houses you would know how totally silly that thought was. When I turned around, it hit me--it was a smallish figure, just like my dad was. The head and shoulders were just exactly like my dad. This was no dream. I called to my husband to come up and when he did I just said to him "Hon, dad was here and he was at that window." My husband hugged me, I cried, and felt comfort and sadness all at the same time. That was only one of a series of real 'visits' from my dad. So, Cat, you see? They don't really 'die.' They pass onto that other realm, but live through us. And as the years go by, I sense him in myself, his expressions, his sayings...I hear myself saying things that I didn't when he was still alive. And I know some day we will be together again and he will say something like "so, hey--how'd ya like that little visit to your window that day?" Yep--we will hug and laugh again! God's taking very good care of my daddy-and YOURS too! Much Love, hugs, prayers. PJ xo
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thank you Beck, that was beautiful.
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Forgive all my typos...it's 4am here, n i think it's time to go to bed....love u all
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Kimbee...i jst love,ya,....n thanju doe sharing ur beautiful memory of ur FIL...There r jst sone things in this life without explanation....i call that faith,,,believing in something with all ur heart n soul that is not tangible.....My faith is strong n i depend on it everday of my life....it has never failed me...much love to u..

Lisa, as Kimbee so beautifully said it...thanku for bringing us together as a family...i have immense admiration for wat u have endured...u r to be admired, n i think the world of u...huge hugs from CA...n much respect to u....
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Beck, what a wonderful memory! It brought tears to my eyes. I was with my FIL when he passed away, so peacefully. We also felt that electrical energy, all at the same time, instantly aware of the exact second he went to God, restored and burden free for the first time in many years. I will treasure that forever. I also felt his presence at the florist when we picked out flowers for his service. Cat, I hope you have solace in your garden and in your heart. Love to all of you, and Lisa: thank you again for bringing us together as family and bonded sisters. Kim
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Beck: Thank you for sharing your beautiful memory and the power of the love you and your fil shared. I do believe every word and that your pop stayed by your side and is still with you. Thank you Beck. I love you too. Cat
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Cat...i want to share with u wat i experienced wen my fil passed 15 yrs ago. We were very close, n i was the only dil, along with the 4 sons, that was present wen he took his last breath. I vividly remember the air changing in the room, it almost felt, electric..All of us in the room looked up to the ceiling at exactly the same time, as tho we all witnessed his soul leave his body. I sat with him for a while longer n got in my car to return home to the babysitter that was watching my 1mnth old daughter, at the time..I remember crying so hard, that i had to pull over n park the car in order to get control of myself, so i could make it home...Wen Pop was alive, he use to always tug at my little girls ear lobe, n she would swat his hand away with her tiny fingers....Wen i got home, n the sitter left...i walked into the nursery, where my daughter seemed to be very fussy..Right about that time, my husband came home, n came in to the nursery to see our baby...Wen Bill entered the room, we both looked at each other, in shock, bcuz that "electricity" was, once again, very heavy in the room n we both noticed that the hair on our arms n some on our heads, were standing straight up, n Maria, our baby, continued fussing. Bill n i were so scared at that moment, but we both new that Pop was in that nursery. Then, we went to pick Maria up to comfort her, n she was swatting at her earlobe with her tiny fingers, as if something was touching her....then, all of a sudden....Maria stops fussing, looks up at the ceiling, smiles n gives a little wave, as if to say goobye to her grandpa..We believe that Pop was there with us, in that nursery, to say goodbye to his grand-daughter..I kno this may all sound very sci-fi...but ,to this day, my husband cant think of that moment without breaking down n sobbing like a little boy. I believe, with all my heart, that our departed loved ones "stay around" n say their goodbyes to those they may not have been able to see, before passing...I felt Pop with me, spiritually, everyday, for 2 wks...I dont kno why he chose to stay around me, but he did...There are a couple of other things that happened during those 2 wks that i believe was Pop's presence, protecting me n my children...I could feel him around me everywhere i went...then, after those 2 wks passed....he was gone...I have never felt that "electricity" again, but there have been many more subtle ways that he lets me kno he is with me....As i said....we were very close...he was more a father to me than my own those many years ago...I guess i jst wanted to share this with u to give u comfort in knowing that dad will always b around u, n some days, he may show himself more, than on other days,,,but i believe in it, all the same...Maybe ur garden is the place where u will feel dad's presence more strongly, or jst being in nature will connect the two of u again...
I dont mean to sound like some ghost story teller, but i jst wanted u to kno that i have lived in the very spirit of a loved one who has passed on....Pop helped strengthen my spirit....he stayed around me until he felt i was strong enough to stand on my own, without him....I will, forever, miss that beautiful man....but after i regained my strength, i wrote him a song entitled. "Your Legacy Lives On"..n performed it at a private, family gathering...n Pop helped me thru that, too..I love n miss u, Pop....forever n always....

Cat....May the journey ahead b filled with ur dad's spirit n kno that he will carry u on those days wen u r too weak to stand on ur own....I love u, Cat...
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Cat,
My heart goes out to you!
You are blessed to have parents you had good relations with, and, that you were able to do such a wonderful job of caring for!
That, as hard as it was, is a gift, even though such a loss.

{{{{hugs!}}}}
Thank you so much for your sharing, and support all during your stressful times.
I wish you healing, and return of Joy; May Grace sustain your heart to heal!
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((((((cat)))))) your aunt is a treasure. Enjoy your time in the garden with God and all your memories. Wonderful that you connected with your dad's family in Wales, and you took him over there in 2009. Even more important at these times. I agree with Punch - get some rest and relax time. You have been on overdrive for a while. Thanks for sharing - (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) and prayers Joan
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Hugs, Lisa...what a beautiful post. BUT you have to be exhausted! Please, please--lay your head down now and sleep. We want you to keep well amidst all this stress! The details will all come together. Sleep, eat well, relax when you can. xo
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Lisa: That would be such a dream come true. Never had a visit from my mom. Maybe it will come.

Hey, everyone: Thank you so much for all the kind and heartfelt wishes. Today has been one of arrangements and many phone calls. Tomorrow, I will be home and the autumn weather is so beautiful. I plan to be spending some time in my garden. I always feel that is so peaceful and spiritual. I will be thinking of my dad and my mom, hoping that they are enjoying the wild flowers and the company of all those who passed before them.

I talked to my 91 year old Aunt today. The one remaining sister of my mom. It was sad to tell her that dad had passed, but we keep in touch and she knew it was coming. My mom was one of four daughters and they all married and lived in close proximity to each other. I remember all the holiday gatherings we had with my Grandparents. My Aunt is now the only one left. Her husband has passed as well as one of her two sons. Nevertheless, she was really quick to tell me that she was glad the care of my parents was no longer on my shoulders and she was grateful for all I had done for them over the past 8 years, etc. It was so gracious and kind of her. She took a little time to reminisce, but the main message to me was they are all together now and my dad will have a hard time getting a word in edge wise with my Uncle Walter (her husband). I'm so glad that she is at peace with my dad's passing.

I also talked to my dad's two remaining sibs in Wales, along with my cousin there. It's so wonderful that we all connected over the years, since 2000, when I made a trip to Wales and spent time with them. They came to visit my dad here in 2006 and we took my dad to see them in 2009.

Tying up the loose ends, I can still feel my dad in my arms, my fingers smoothing his hair and my hand in his. Tomorrow I will work in the garden and be with God and the beauty of his creations.

Send you all love, thanks, and the whitest of light. Cat
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