My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
Cat
Wish I could be there for those
HEY, this situation has changed A LOT, so anything you think you might tell me now is probably COMPLETELY POINTLESS.
Still feel the need to put your two cents in? NOT WITHOUT READING EVERY SINGLE COMMENT HERE YOU ARE NOT!!!
So you STILL want to try anyway, without reading ALL OF IT? Bugger Off!!!
Have a good night!
cat - re another thread - I am part welsh too - my paternal grandmother
it's all coming out of the woodwork now...
lisa - i don't understand the young ones, but I'lll take the attention -up to a point!
I am a royal watcher too -actually i was in the stands outside Buckingham palace for the Coronation of Queen E. in 1953. We travelled up the night before to get a place in the Canadian section. It was an amazing experience.
So, I really do believe, Lisa, that if you keep telling it over and over, you will find that it no longer hurts you as much as it did before. And before that. And before that. Pretty soon - which I haven't gotten there yet - I think we will recall those bad memories with sadness - and the wastefulness of such actions from our supposed "loved ones." I hope I'm making sense.
I found this out in your thread. Remember when that commentor was so gungho religious and said that we had to be Respectful and Grateful to our parents, and feel Honor in caring for them? And I lost my temper? Then I felt bad for doing that? When I did that, I found out that I felt a little bit lighter than before.
Of course, the hateful words that DQ said about Johnny's death and you should be the one to die - that is absolutely unforgivable. Just saying those words have ended whatever normal relationship you would have had with DQ.
But you know what, you have a wonderful family and Us to help you along and to handle these stresses caused by DQ and the red tapes. Take care!! Hugs to you!