My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
failure to cooperate, Maybe Doug should contact the local office of PA or Concervator himself. Doesn't sound like she (Jane) is working very hard on it.
I Love it "NOT MY PROBLEM"
What is her problem??!
bw - mammos don't have to be that painful. A sadist in the local hospital cranked the pressure up on me once, and I told my doctor I would not have another one there. He sent me out of town to a clinic that specializes in mammos and I had to ask the tech if she had done it - no pain. Eventually I went back to another tech locally and she looked at my file and said they had cranked it up to 20, and 10 was all that was necessary. I hardly felt it. Might be worth checking out.
Thinking of you today, cat and all that is on your mind, Tough for you right now, I know, and telling dad is not going to be easy. (((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
judy,hope you are out of your blue funk,
kim you are a sweetheart
love and hugs to all
All the times I went to the hospital (ER and my 2 surgeries),the doctors worry over my heart beating at 30 or higher. I keep telling them it's normal. I'm just scared. I don't have thyroid...They don't listen. They hook me up to the EKG and they take blood tests for thyroid....It always comes back as normal.
Lisa, don't forget the mammo. Since I turned 40, I did my mammo. The very first time and the very first xray shot, I fainted from the pain. I woke up dangling from the machine with the tech behind me trying to hold me up at the same time trying to release me from the machine. I just wanted to cry and walk out. I think, this is one time growing up from a very dysfunction family helped. I knew if I walked out, I would Never, Ever do a mammo again. So, I gritted my teeth, and finished the xrays. Next time, I researched ahead of time online on ways of making mammos less painful. I saved the info and stored it on my CD and flashdrive. Then, when it's mammo time, I open it up for refresher. FYI, from experieince, when you take the Excedrin before the mammo, make sure you give it time to work!!! :)
Oh...I would have done the mammo every 2 or 3 years but my results consistently comes back with abnormal but they think it's benign and recommend yearly mammo. I thought this was normal since I always got this result from the beginning and from different clinics that I've gone to. It's not normal...Hate mammos more than paps...
Sometime back I went for a consult with my dad's doc about his care, etc. He's a really good doc and he's my doc and hubby's doc too. He took my BP after we had finished talking and it was 190/100. He said it was probably high due to the subject matter being emotional, etc. and we wanted me to have fasting blood work done and monitor by bp at home. I have monitored it and it came down quite a bit, but still too high. Never did follow through with the blood work. I will do that now.
So I will be getting the blood work done and start the journey of improving my health and well being. Hubby is a ditto.
Visited my dad today. He's bummed. The staff think he is sad too and are doing their best to help with his adjustment. I'll take him a cheeseburger for lunch on Tuesday and explain some things to him. I think it's time to tell him what I think he already knows and I am hoping in time he will realize that a lot of the people caring for him do genuinely care about him and his happiness.
Tough times. Keep my in your prayers. Love, Cattails
Let us know what comes from your husband's tests. Are you having any apprehension over that?
big (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))
She and I became friends when I was 21 years old. She and her husband, at the time, introduced me to the man I married. The guys were both with the Santa Barbara police department at the time. We had a close circle of friends and those were some of the happiest days of my youth. Lynette and I both worked for Security Pacific Bank in Santa Barbara so that is how we met and eventually how I met my husband.
She was such a special person and when me moved from SB in 1973, she and I stayed in touch and I visited her and she visited me. It's hard to loose someone who is such a part of your history and all the more tragic when it was not necessary.
So here's a toast to my dearest friend who I still miss to this day. Thank you all for letting me talk about her. God, I can remember picking her up on the way to work when my son was just 3 years old. She helped me find an apartment when my first husband and I split. My son would listen to the radio when we drove to work and the Jackson 5 were all the rage. Nick use to call them the 5 and Jack. His day care was just down the street from the bank we worked in.
Those were hard times and she was my best friend. Thanks again for letting me talk about her. She was such a good friend. Love to you all, Cattails.
no offense meant, judy or anyone with different beliefs - each to his/her own. I have read about the meaning fo flower colour in Victorian days - red is true love I think, and yellow is friendship in roses anyway
rebecca so glad to see you back. I am sure the stress of your sibs makes you ill, and I am pleased the doc set limits on your contact
lisa -wonderfdul that fil is not suffering from the chemo - hope that continues
any progress with mil and an evaluation? is Doug beginning to see that his mum needs help? i expect it will come, but he has a lot to deal with consldering illness in both his parents.. Pretty pj's - how nice!!!
house locked, but would provide convenience stations and a concession stand. Crazy people, they're in every family! Wonder where they got those black roses?!
Hope things went ok w your planned toughlove fest. Glad FIL is experiencing JUST the fatigue. Hope he can get all the rest he needs. LUV TO U ALL, kimbee