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I think what's even sadder is these situations happen all the time to "ordinary people" and we are none the wiser cause we'll never hear about it.

What happened to Gene Hackman and his wife was tragic but it certainly wasn't the first time something like this happened and won't be the last.

Maybe, a good wake up call that neighbors should look out for neighbors (if they can) But if said neighbors think it's an intrusion, then what then?

Sad story though.
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Gershun, I totally agree with you. It is happening every single day and nobody is the wiser because it's not someone famous.

I am happy to see alzheimers and dementia getting media time, that's the only way we will see change for those in the future.

Yes, we should all know our neighbors and keep an eye on one another but, they don't always want to be known.
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Gershun, your point is great, and it is absolutely correct, no question.
However, what happens to those here with FAME and NOTARIETY serves. And basically it serves because it calls attention. Because of this very sad and very odd and curious case there are many who are now saying "We better find a way that SOMEone connects with Grand daily, because this could be us.

I don't have really a problem with our fascination with the "famous, infamous, and rich and famous among us. I understand it. And I must admit that when Safeway has ONE checker for a massive line I am the first 82-going on 83 year old reaching for the latest edition of that rage with the "BAD PLASTIC SURGERY stories". I mean, how else am I to have fun.

I think what IS sad is the conjecture that goes on here with our making up our own mystery novel out of what is a sad, but understandable story about a good, but long aging man who has brought us years of delight. I mean, just watch Young Frankenstein, the visit to the blind man's cabin. What a wonderful scene. Mr. Hackman and his devoted wife are at rest. But I can't help but thank him for the years of entertainment that have added to my life.
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Sorry, if while trying to make my point I sounded unsympathetic to Gene Hackman and his wife's horrible demise. Plus the poor dog. As an animal lover I can't even think about his last days. The whole thing makes me want to bawl.

Yes, Gene Hackman was a marvelous actor. I enjoyed many of his movies. It's a great loss to the entertainment community. I didn't know much about his wife but it sounds like she and Gene had a very strong bond. At least neither had to grieve the loss of the other.
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When we think about that "no one ever made a weekly call" I think, WE have NO idea what he was like as a parent when he Didn't have dementia, and WE have no idea what he was like when he did, especially in that late stage, where he very well could have become violent. Grown children have their own lives, and sometimes, yes, it's 2 three weeks before I communicate at all with my mother in AL. She's NASTY, complains about everything, and *I* ALSO need care, meaning self care. Honestly, if I visited or communicated with my mother more than I do, *I* would be so on edge, I'm afraid I would end up socking her, for how nasty and downright abusive she is now. Mr. Hackman didn't live alone. You come to a point when you are not the daily caretaker that "No news is good news." The total time frame of this is probably 2.5 weeks. That's not that long, you know. If it had been a month, I still wouldn't be raising my eyebrows. Because WE do NOT know the family dynamics.

There have been comments about them not having any housekeeping staff. Maybe He was VIOLENT and they Couldn't have any staff. Maybe the only person Mr. Hackman wasn't violent with was his wife, but not because he even knew she was his wife, but that she was the face he saw every day and was his routine. Maybe he even got violent with her on occasion. Maybe his wife felt it was best for HIS privacy, as a celebrity, that there wasn't staff around that would sell information to anyone that wanted it.

The point is, WE do not KNOW what they dynamics were so WE do not have ANY right to judge what we don't know.
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I mentioned below about my MIL and how she never answers her phone.

Well, here we are again. I last spoke to her on Monday.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I had major doctor appointments (one out of town) and I don’t feel well today with stomach issues.

Hubs was out of town Tuesday and Wednesday for work and today he is with my daughter in another city looking at cars for her.

We have both been trying to call her for days. Her cousin hasn’t spoken to her in a week. I sent her a FB message and also texted her.

If I don’t hear from her by this evening, I’m going to call police to do a welfare check on her.

Based on the past, she is totally ok and has lost track of her days and can’t hear the phone ring because she refuses to get a hearing aid. She is also a waify narcissist so it’s very possible she is playing games so someone will run over there (me, it’s always me) and give her attention.

I don’t mean to make this my personal post. I was thinking of this couple and how no one checked in on them in 2 weeks.

It happens.
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Bulldog, yes, not making it your personal post. I think your observations are really relevant.
I think the publicity from what happened to them is now cause to make many of us think and worry more than we might have. Update us, and hoping everything is just fine. At some point when people choose to stay home on their own without security check ins via camera or other, it is a risk.
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Alva, yes she called me back 2 hours before I was calling a welfare check in on her. Everything is fine. She has 1,000 excuses about why she doesn’t answer the phone and it’s never because she can’t hear it ring.
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Yeah this story has been triggering for me but I am very hesitant to blame his kids. He admitted in interviews he wasn't around much for them, and when he was, he wasn't great to them. There's no law that says children must care for parents who emotionally neglected them. What gets me about this story is that even with all their money...they refused help. The wife thought she could handle it all herself. She likely had extreme caregiver burnout. It makes me so sad because I see my mom doing this. It ends so tragically and seems so unnecessary. What's up with the stubborness and pride? I don't get it.
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Exactly, Peanutty. She was probably exhausted and worn out from caregiving, thus extra vulnerable to catching a virus.

This is certainly an extreme example of the “xx% of caregivers die before the person they are caregiving does” trope that we refer to a lot on here. She could have had a whole new chapter after her time of caring for her husband had ended. Instead a senseless death. So horribly sad.
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Peanutty and Snoopy, I like what you guys said. I wish there was another term for burnout, it is used to often and frivolously that it doesn't have the same meaning to people, like it should.
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Here is an update on the conditions inside the Hackman home which police discovered when they found the bodies:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/inside-gene-hackman-rodent-infested-143800897.html
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Lea, I was so surprised. I had heard some cops on the scene said it was "neat as a pin". Go figure.
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Those pictures and report are nonsense, same room from different angles. That house was not rat infested, they poop and piss everywhere, no sign of that, food not even chewed on. Oh my lands, they were dead for weeks, she had just gone shopping, of course there was rotting food. There would be in anyone's house that eats fresh foods.

There are other pictures available that show her areas were hoarded with things and they obviously had too much stuff but, that house was NOT rodent infested, the outbuildings were. That's what happens when you live in the middle of the desert. It is a constant battle to keep them out and away, especially if you are opposed to poison.

This post makes me understand why they didn't want people in their home. Excuse the mess they lived in their home and life gets messy.

My mom lived in a rat-infested hoard, this is nothing like the reality of that.

The writer should be ashamed for lying about rats in the house, I hope the family sues the ah.
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Isthisrealllyreal, I agree with you, yeah it was a cluttered mess, but honestly from the pictures it didn't look filthy, it just looked like a house that someone was neglecting, nor did it look rat infested.
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Daisy, she was dead a week and Gene was left alone to cope. He could have made some of the mess, such as bags of bagels on a plate set on books.

Cluttered is exactly what I can see. I thought that it was creative photography when I saw the rotted food shot from above, staged indeed. One side board with to much stuff and 1 bathroom with far to much stuff from many different angels, and what appears to be a dog room that would be a safe haven for the dogs, however, they could have moved all that stuff in the bathroom from an out building trying to deal with the rodents. A bathtub is a good place to put stuff that needs to be cleaned.

Nobody will ever know the truth beyond it was a tragedy.
I hate this for them and their families. It is a tragedy that is being used for fodder to create a narrative for scuzzy writers/reporters.
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I hate mice and rats. They are possibly the only thing in this life that I hate. The worst was when I frequently stayed in a log cabin, which was actually a nice house in the mountains. The mice could get in through chinks in the log walls and floor, which was a normal hardwood floor. They could chew through the chinks between the logs, although the spaces were supposedly sealed. They could climb up the rocks of the fireplace and jump down into the living room when you'd least expect it. They could come up from the basement, which was often open to the outdoors because it was a garage.

So then came the snakes. (I don't hate snakes but don't want to live with them either.) They'd coil in the closets, under the bed, under the washing machine, in dresser drawers, all of them waiting for a tasty mouse meal to scurry past. The owner would remove the snakes and try to plug the holes, but it was a losing battle.

The worst was the daughter of the family, age 23, who thought the mice were "cute" and objected to their being caught in a trap that didn't harm them. They were released outdoors. She honestly had no idea of the danger of mice and their droppings. Age 23! College educated! She'd sometimes cry when the mice were released.

At least this awful death of Gene and Betsy may bring notice to the dangers of rodents. This is something that people used to know about (think bubonic plague) but apparently aren't learning these days.
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I'm sure the Gene Hackman in his prime would be absolutely horrified to know people were discussing he and his wife and probing into their private lives.

Makes one think about having affairs in order just in case. One never knows.
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Re kids not checking, I could be dead a month and mine wouldn't know it. I don 't think it is that unusual, though it certainly is far from ideal. I belong to a website of ladies over 80 and it has been a topic of discussion. I have worked to stay close, visit and go out for meals but it is pretty one sided. They have had my support all along and don't hesitate to ask for a loan if they need one. My dd and her hub did help me with stuff around this house when I was in the north, but since I have come south so has that relationship. So be it. Life goes on. I don't judge others, I don't know their whole story.
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Yes Golden, and that's just it. Nobody knows anyone's story except what they want known.

I'm sure most of us have personal effects that could be judged and misconstrued. I've thought of things I have laying around and how somebody could make a whole critical story out of it if they so chose to.

I guess after we are gone it wouldn't matter anyways. It's all just stuff at the end of the day. You never see a moving van following a hearse, if ya get my drift.
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Gershun - Exactly.

Has no one here ever had clutter? I have.

Here we read about how hard caregiving a spouse with dementia is, We don't know the challenges Betsy Arakawa had. She was a caregiver like the rest of us.

Honestly, I consider that anyone else's clutter is none of my business, I would hate to have photos of my home in the media after I'm gone for everyone to speculate about.
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I agree. I'm so glad I'm not famous.😌
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Golden and gurshun, I feel exactly like you both do!

Funny not funny, but I saw a mouse this morning running underneath my oven. Not happy, but even less happy to see that today. Hubby will set the traps later. I suspect Gene Hackman was the guy that got after the rodents, and it was one of those jobs we need to learn to do, also.
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Your right! The whole thing was sad.No one really checked on them. Someone should have. Unfortunately nobody did.
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I know when I heard about when Gene Hackman died after his wife was sad. Alone with no one around. Their poor dog. Not an outcome you or I would think happened. Well they’re in a better place in heaven. My Mom is 93 years old with dementia and I hear her talk of dying a number of times. Her health is good but her mind isn’t all it once was years ago. When I was younger and my family was I didn’t think of how tough getting old was. Not so sure about aging gracefully and dying ever so slowly. She tells me she doesn’t know what she’s doing or what she’s supposed to do.
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The wife wasn’t that old
who would’ve known that she would’ve got Hanta Virus? So strange
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