General topics.

I used to be a hockey fanatic. My Mom was my hockey buddy. We would get together for almost every game. Since she passed my heart hasn't been in it as much but I hope they will win the cup one day before I die. Please...........hockey Gods!!!

Send Help if the Steelers moved to LA. I imagine , no strongly believe I'd be moving there too if I wanted to remain married. Not kidding. But ya the hot dogs at Heinz Field are great. We actually had Italian food tonight. It was good.

Gershun. Never give up hope. We also have the Pirates. No need to say more. They haven won a World Series since I graduated high school. 1979. I just googled Vancouver   They went to the finals in 2011.  Much better odds than the Buccos ( pirates).  You guys have a chance

Today I came to the Library to get a free pair of eclipse ready glasses, but one cannot get any today. I would have to come the the eclipse viewing and get in line at 9:00 a.m. The reason I am interested in the sky, the eclipse, the full moons, is that the signs in the universe confirm scripture and prophesy. Learning to discern the signs of the times and the environment interests me.

So, I got a new library card, logged into the computer! It is a Lenovo with a keyboard.
Fun, easy, I should try to print something!

Taking refuge on this thread
Tryjng not to lose my head
While all those around me
Are losing theirs.
Caregiving is stressful !

Article on the front page of the Ny Times today predicting the shortage of home health workers by 2040
After a year in the field, many opt to work in fast food

Which is easier - bathing an overweight elder or working the fry machine?

Where I live PSWs (Personal Support Workers) are paid a little better than those working fast food, however it has become the norm that new hires are never considered full time employees and usually must juggle 2 or 3 jobs in order to earn enough to make ends meet. This is frustrating enough in urban centres, but those in less populated areas have fewer jobs to pick from and often travel great distances back and forth to work. I've also heard from the women doing home care that the schedulers seem to have their heads up their backsides because they can be given clients 20 miles apart with only a few minutes travel time allowed, and then have the next appointment back near the location where they started from. It's no wonder many give up in frustration or chose to upgrade to RPN/LPN.

In my state, one of the (few) choices in the mandatory "welfare-to-work" training (or whatever it's called) is a CNA certification. I know someone who is an instructor our county's division. Each session, a small number of his students are hard-working and eager. The majority of each class, unfortunately, are folks who have been on the dole for as long as allowable. And are now sleepwalking their way through education they don't care about, in exchange for extending their financial stipends, rent vouchers, food stamps transportation subsidy and free child care. Each enrollee is allowed to fail "finals" and re-take the entire training multiple times. If and when these folks become certified CNAs and move on, they are hired primarily by residential elder-care facilities and home-help organizations. Not all are cream of the crop. But all are earning less than a Taco Bell shift leader. No easy answers.

Erin 60, Born and breed in Pittsburgh, loved it after 49 years in Mi. still call Pgh. my home. Yep, I'm sure you would have to make that move, but I just can't see the Steelers anywhere but Pittsburgh------------Take care , made me laugh and heaven knows caregivers just need to have these breaks :)

Cwillie and Blackhole,
It's so hard for the dedicated ones
Even the LVNs at hoca are only given PT hours and work two jobs
Many show up after already putting in 8 hours elsewhere

Of course the slackers make it bad for everyone - they call off last minute and the dedicated ines end up with twice the work

God bless the folks in Texas and the first responders and caregivers

I woke up to an email - we're in labour!! I'm so excited, but worried too, it's a long weekend and it's a month early ....

Congrats on the new member of the family. Hoping all's well with the baby!

You are going to be an auntie?

Yes, a great aunt! Back when my sis had to go back to work after maternity leave I moved in temporarily (there's that word again!) and never left. I stayed to help raise all her kids and beyond, so I guess I was kind of a mommy by proxy lol

Last word was stalled labour.... 6 hours ago.😟😟😟

Cwillie,
Staying longer in the womb is a good thing! Prayers that the birth of your great-niece when the time comes will bless you and the family.

He's here, 8lbs 2 oz, 10 fingers and 10 toes! Daddy say he hasn't slept since Friday but he sounds happy!

My, my what a nice healthy weight!! Glad he's landed safely!

I'm off to tell great grandma :)

What good news!
So happy for you, Great Auntie!
Congratulations to grandma too!

Congrats, cwillie! I had a mommy by proxy, my mom's twin sister, and I treasure her. That baby boy was a month early and still over 8#? Maybe good he came early! lol! That all sounds great!

It was so good to have some new baby news!

BarbBrooklyn has a new granddaughter too!
Keeping that picture of baby's great-grandmother at graduation for the baby when she is grown will do your Mother proud, Barb!
A bittersweet time in your life, with the blessings of new life.
Thank you for sharing your Mother's picture with us!

Congratulations cwillie and Barb!!! Babies are the sweetest.

Hi everyone. I am a care giver for my mom who had a stroke in 2011. I do most of the work with an exception of a nurse to cover me when I have to run errands. I am the oldest son and my mom is 95. My schedule is flexible so I am available most of the time for Dr. appointments and lab work. I live with my mom so I am available to help while my younger sister lives next door but works full time. She is very controlling and nosy and gets into everything I do. I am cleaning trimming my moms yard and she tell me don't cut this and don't cut that while I tell her she has her own yard to work on. Here is the sad thing. While my dad was on his death bed and ready to give up the ghost my sister walked up by asking him if she could have the house that she is now living in. I couldn't believe what I just heard that she would ask that while he was dying and on morphine while I was sitting with my mom across the small hospital room . I felt, really really sick, bad and upset. At least my mom heard that and said she won't allow that. But soon after mom dad passed away she decided to move into the house. I was supposed to be a rental. Now she has been there since 1989 two years after my dad passed away and she has not paid, rent, insurance and property taxes since it is under my moms name. All she claimed is she made improvements to the property and renovated the kitchen. Thank you for working on moms house. Now get out. I have been trying to keep this in and deal with it but it always comes up in my thoughts and my feelings are angry. But i don't want to start anything I will regret. I want to be a peace maker and its difficult. But my conscience tells me there is something terribly wrong and I have spoke to close friends but there is no true resolve because they have not gone through this and I have keep this burden on my shoulders. I wanted to get a Power of Attorney but my mom is not able to write or do a signature. We do a trust setup where there is a medical directive in place and the doctor will decide. I have a very bad feeling my sister may go around me and try to get me out. Sometimes I feel hopeless about it and don't know what to do. She tell me everything what I should do because its for mom and dad but she doesn't live in this house. So I started to realize my world does not revolve around her but for my mom. She has keys to the house so she can come and go as she please even at 2am to check on mom. She tries to make me feel guilty or bring the guilt trip But I have naturally learn to ignore her because of my hearing loss. Maybe a good thing. But I will not bend to manipulation and hostility or argument in front of my mom. She will ague with me in front of mom and my mom doesn't like it. Disrespectful and self centered. My mom gets upset. I decided not to even acknowledge her when she comes. In fact I go to my room and she can sit with her mom. I am getting worn down by her constant badgering and I wanted to talk about this. She has been a controlling person since she was a child and divorced twice. I also have another younger sister but that's another story in itself is how she put my mom in the wheel chair. Sad but true living in the blue. Just wanted share my dilemma. Any insight is a fresh welcome. Thanks everyone. 

Madison, I sympathize. I lost all respect for most of my siblings when my Mother needed them. Her health was declining and here I was, the only person helping. They never acknowledged what I was doing and yet when they couldn't get in touch with my Mom for some reason they would always phone me. So, that tells me that they knew that I would know and why is that? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

I've always felt inferior to my siblings most of my life. Partly low self-esteem but also cause my narc sister wanted me to feel that way. But now, while I don't feel superior I don't care anymore what they think. Why did I ever? They proved to me that they are selfish, selfish, selfish and after all the sacrifices my Mother made on their behalf. What a bunch of ingrates!

Madison, if I could give you any insight at all, it would be this. What you see in your siblings should open your mind to the fact that you are the good one, the kind one. That doesn't mean you need to feel superior but it should shine a light on the fact that you are doing the right thing and just stay in that lane. Don't allow their negativity to touch you. Imagine a white, positive light surrounding you that they can't get through.

I confronted my narc sister and since then I have felt like there is nothing she can do or say that will ever touch me. She is over there............I am over here. Concentrate on your Mom. Try to ignore the rest.

Thank you for sharing your experiences Gershun. I too have a terrible relationship with one sibling. I'm always surprised given that we grew up in the same family. How could our personalities be so different? After my dad's passing I am still very angry with her and think about disassociating from her completely.

I'm so sorry Madison. I know its not easy. But I second Gershun's suggestions. Thinking of you.

A distraction, this movie is opening in theatres on Friday. There was a long time ago, when my doctor would write the name of 2-3 movies (mostly comedies) on his Rx and hand it to me to go see them. Movie therapy.
And this one stars Dame Judy Dench. "Victoria and Abdul"
Announcing early on in the title screen that the events of the film are an imagined portrayal of two real people, the narrative unearths the deep friendship shared between Queen Victoria (Judi Dench) and her Indian advisor Abdul Karim (Ali Fazal). Karim, a young clerk, travels from India to participate in the Queen’s Golden Jubilee. There, he eventually becomes an important part of her household, teaching her about Indian culture and history, Urdu, and mangos.
This is an unknown history and not by accident. After Victoria’s death, Karim is unceremoniously thrown out following her funeral by the high society that detested him and all records and letters between the two burnt. The film is based on Shrabani Basu’s Victoria & Abdul: The True Story of the Queen’s Closest Confidant. (Basu had discovered his diary in recent years.) Written by Billy Eliot’s Lee Hall, the story is one highly invested in this unlikely and unexpected friendship—one that is deep and caring despite differences in age (almost 40 years apart), culture, and status.

Send,
Movie sounds fabulous- I love Judi and the old bbs show, as time goes by