Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
They sure don't write like that anymore.
The vet phoned early this morning to tell us they managed to get all the cancer so he is all clear.
I know all your prayers and good wishes definitely helped.
Praise God!
Or when I find an obit that is titled "Mr. Smith is Dead". Yikes.
And when there is a local gossip column in the smaller newspapers, instead of saying the Adams family drove to Chicago, it says the Adams family motored to Chicago.
this is petty.....my husband returns to work tomorrow after 7 months off due his back problem & surgery. He’s decided to take his lunch to work so he just went to the grocery store. I asked him to get me some Califia Farms almond milk for my cereal......and he came home with almond milk coffee creamer! When have I ever used almond milk coffee creamer? NEVER! I don’t have the heart to tell him he got the wrong thing LOL! But I am a bit annoyed because now I can’t have a bowl of cereal for desert tonight. And I did offer to go to the store but he wanted go himself. Bless his heart! He did remember the cat food so I can’t complain :-)
First thing out of her mouth. Good News! Hubs and I got out of bed and did a happy dance. He loves Daniel too so he was just as ecstatic. We ran to tell Daniel and then happily went back to sleep.
:)
Worried, Is it funny how are men will do something for us like running to the store and they come home please with themselves on making us happy and they get it wrong, but we women just smile and think crap!! LOL! Glad to hear your hubby is going back to work. Hope all goes well on his first day back.
Hoping today will be a better day!
A friend's dog just had stomach surgery, and she made a noodle necklace instead of using the cone of shame. She cut sections of a swimming noodle and tied it together to fit around her dog's neck. He can't lick the stitches, but he can eat and drink.
He was getting his nutrition via a feeding tube and we had been told that due to the damage to his throat due to the aneurysm and also him pulling the trach out himself he may never eat normally again. He has schizophrenia and not that I believe this has affected his reasoning skills, he continued to try to get his hands on food irregardless, going so far as to try to steal food off of other people's trays in the elevator etc. We decided since he was going to put himself at risk anyway to sign an "Eat at Risk" form which removes all liability from the hospital should he aspirate but also gives them the authority to proceed with life saving measures should he aspirate.
Now we find ourselves in a position as a family to have to decide once again whether to afford my brother the right to eat at risk. He has aspirated several times since this form was signed and they are now saying that should they have to revive him forcibly such as doing C P R etc. they will no doubt break his ribs, his level of independence will go down dramatically since they will then have no choice but to put him on a breathing tube again, possibly indefinitely.
Our options as far as releasing him back to where he was living are nil as this was a halfway house which serves the downtown east side here in Vancouver. Anyone who lives in Canada or has heard about the downtown east side here knows it is not a place where someone with my brothers difficulties will be able to thrive. Our other options are also limited due to my brothers lack of income. He would end up in one of "those places" None of us want that.
So, we have quite a problem here. The hospital is unwilling to keep him there in this state he is in and so what do we do, where do we put him? They have also declared him mentally unable to make proper decisions for himself.
Sorry for the long post but my other brother who has been handling these affairs mostly has posed the question to us as a family and I don't know what to advise him. I know that my brother who is ill will continue to try to eat and smoke whatever he can get his hands on putting himself at risk to the point where he may end up on a feeding tube and a breathing tube again or he will be released into a facility where he will be restrained so he can't do this. What kind of a choice is this? We have even discussed letting him eat and smoke and do whatever he wants to with a D N R in place. So basically let him kill himself.
I'm so distraught but with all that has been going on with myself lately I don't know what to advise. If I start to think too hard about it I get myself into an emotional state I don't have the reserves left to handle but I want to make the best decision for my brother. I'm scared and confused.
So sorry about your brother....more prayers.
It is okay not to have the answers or advice Gershun. You can say: "I don't know".
I am so, so sorry to read the latest about your brother.
I agree with Send. You guys aren’t being presented with very good options.
I know you are in Canada and healthcare is different than in the US.
I would hope with some time the hospital staff, discharge, social worker, whoever that important link might be would come up with more information or better options so that you and your brother can make a decision you both are more comfortable with.
And yes, some of us have been there. We don’t have the answer. We don’t know. We can’t fix things for our sibling. It doesn’t make things less heartbreaking but it’s okay.
You hang in there. First and foremost you have to take care of you.
My heart just breaks for you and your family. I can't even imagine trying to make that kind of decision for someone you love so much. I really wish I had some advice for you, but I really don't know what to say:(
I will just keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless you. 🙏
Hoping that I was not misunderstood in my post requiring the hospital to provide good care.
Hospitals and doctors have "standard protocols" of care. For example, it might be protocol to transfer a patient to rehab at a certain time. It is what is always done, and the care can be good, and covered by insurance.
But what I wanted to point out, some patients will not be served well to be transferred, or decisions made prematurely about a patient.
For example, in the patient's case I knew about, it was time to transfer to rehab, but he was not medically ready. He also ran a fever, pointing that out, he should not be discharged with a fever, so the hospital, at the level of care in ICU was required to keep him, and under the scrutiny of a higher level of care, for a longer time. This bought some time. Time to heal better, time to defy the doctor's poor prognosis, time to think up and offer some better solutions, instead of giving up when the patient was out of options.
To understand and experience this, it is a hopeful tack, but it is not denial of the realities a patient may be out of any good options. TIME can and does change poor prognosis is what I am saying here, when more options become available.
Anything can happen.
And you are right Lizzywho, in everything that you said. I just wanted to clarify and be sure it was not intended that staff was wrong, it is just the better options have not yet presented themselves. = TIME.
The body is amazing,the way it heals itself everyday, even in the sickest patients & even when the odds are impossible though because
my Mother survived Hospice,her doctor's prognosis and all the times everyone gave up hope for her....
It was God's plan & He's amazing and there's no challenges too great for Him.
God is able.
Thank-you God!
God is able. And he will do as He sees best for your brother. Believe it.
Will be praying.
God is able and His will will be done as it is in Heaven so shall it be on earth.
Hugs!!
Stop empathising. You cannot imagine what your brother is experiencing because the inside of his head and yours are utterly different. I don't mean to suggest that he isn't suffering, but he isn't in the way that you would; and besides you can't deal with it. It doesn't *help*.
To make this decision ethically you have to detach. That is not the same thing as saying "oh well let him kill himself." You need to step back so that you can look at the whole picture; and actually that may change everybody's thinking.
You want some flow diagrams. We start here. If we do this, then X. If we do that, then Y. Keep plotting the outcomes it's reasonable to expect from given courses of action, and see where it takes you.
The point is that this isn't just about this week or next month. Supposing it were possible to stabilise your brother and give him a realistic chance to engage in rehab. Where might he be at the end of the year, next year, five years from now?
Still in residential care, still with a feeding tube, still desperately hunting food and drugs and any kind of gratification to replace what he's missing - forget it. You wouldn't do it to a dog. Let him exercise the autonomy he still has left to him.
But... what about, physically improving and with some kind of life yet to lead? In that case, it would be worth taking away his autonomy for now, in order to get him on the right track to make that possible.
Big piece of paper, coloured pencils, open minds, and everyone get busy. Even if it doesn't bring the family to one united conclusion, at least it will help you put all the issues on the table where they can't be dismissed.
I've thought this through and my response to my brother was lets just let the doctors keep providing life saving measures and when or if my brother's ribs get busted etc. and he is put on another breathing tube, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Other brother who has taken this all on said the doctors suggested a conference call where we could all discuss this as a family with the docs. I actually offered to be there in person. My other sibs have such oh so busy lives I guess conference call works better for them. (insert eyeroll)
CM, rehab down the road sounds wonderful, in theory. But my brother, the one who is ill, has never been cooperative as long as I can remember. My poor, poor mom. The stuff she had to deal with over the years. I imagine her heart would be breaking over this if she were alive to see it. Her last letter to us as a family she said "please look out for your brother" I know he and his mental illness was one of the biggest sadness and disappointments of her life. She dealt with it like she dealt with everything. With grace and class and above all faith. So, I guess the least we as a family can do is try to measure up and do the same.
https://gem.cbc.ca/media/short-docs/season-1/episode-16/38e815a-00a97ef6f72
Maybe it is available on YouTube?
Found it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlP93lQqGWo