General topics.

Thank-you Shell, I see you have your private messaging function turned off again. I hope people are not still harassing you on there.

Gershun,

My heart just breaks for you and your family. I can't even imagine trying to make that kind of decision for someone you love so much. I really wish I had some advice for you, but I really don't know what to say:(

I will just keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless you. 🙏

Gershun,

I am so, so sorry to read the latest about your brother.

I agree with Send. You guys aren’t being presented with very good options.

I know you are in Canada and healthcare is different than in the US.

I would hope with some time the hospital staff, discharge, social worker, whoever that important link might be would come up with more information or better options so that you and your brother can make a decision you both are more comfortable with.

And yes, some of us have been there. We don’t have the answer. We don’t know. We can’t fix things for our sibling. It doesn’t make things less heartbreaking but it’s okay.

You hang in there. First and foremost you have to take care of you.

Having had experience with a patient without options who survived near death, my only advice is do not allow the hospital to discharge him or transfer him to a different level of care, buying time. Keep holding them responsible for good care and treatment. This is because more options may present themselves with more time and more information.

So sorry about your brother....more prayers.

It is okay not to have the answers or advice Gershun. You can say: "I don't know".

Well it figures that I would have good news followed by yet more bad. Nothing new but as some of you may have heard my brother has been in the hospital now for almost four mths. now following a brain aneurysm.

He was getting his nutrition via a feeding tube and we had been told that due to the damage to his throat due to the aneurysm and also him pulling the trach out himself he may never eat normally again. He has schizophrenia and not that I believe this has affected his reasoning skills, he continued to try to get his hands on food irregardless, going so far as to try to steal food off of other people's trays in the elevator etc. We decided since he was going to put himself at risk anyway to sign an "Eat at Risk" form which removes all liability from the hospital should he aspirate but also gives them the authority to proceed with life saving measures should he aspirate.

Now we find ourselves in a position as a family to have to decide once again whether to afford my brother the right to eat at risk. He has aspirated several times since this form was signed and they are now saying that should they have to revive him forcibly such as doing C P R etc. they will no doubt break his ribs, his level of independence will go down dramatically since they will then have no choice but to put him on a breathing tube again, possibly indefinitely.

Our options as far as releasing him back to where he was living are nil as this was a halfway house which serves the downtown east side here in Vancouver. Anyone who lives in Canada or has heard about the downtown east side here knows it is not a place where someone with my brothers difficulties will be able to thrive. Our other options are also limited due to my brothers lack of income. He would end up in one of "those places" None of us want that.

So, we have quite a problem here. The hospital is unwilling to keep him there in this state he is in and so what do we do, where do we put him? They have also declared him mentally unable to make proper decisions for himself.

Sorry for the long post but my other brother who has been handling these affairs mostly has posed the question to us as a family and I don't know what to advise him. I know that my brother who is ill will continue to try to eat and smoke whatever he can get his hands on putting himself at risk to the point where he may end up on a feeding tube and a breathing tube again or he will be released into a facility where he will be restrained so he can't do this. What kind of a choice is this? We have even discussed letting him eat and smoke and do whatever he wants to with a D N R in place. So basically let him kill himself.

I'm so distraught but with all that has been going on with myself lately I don't know what to advise. If I start to think too hard about it I get myself into an emotional state I don't have the reserves left to handle but I want to make the best decision for my brother. I'm scared and confused.

Where I live there are two little airports, and by little I mean one of them has grass runways and is managed by a few local pilots and the other is a remnant of a WWII training base. I get that pilots need to train and put in flight time but there has been a tiny jet and a prop plane playing tag in the air and circling over my house for over an hour now, and I saw/heard them yesterday too. It's a big sky. I imagine to them Lake Huron is only 10 minutes away. Go. fly. some. where. else.

Gershun, happy news indeed.
A friend's dog just had stomach surgery, and she made a noodle necklace instead of using the cone of shame.  She cut sections of a swimming noodle and tied it together  to fit around her dog's neck.  He can't lick the stitches, but he can eat and drink.

Well, spent the 4th of July weekend cleaning out the house. It is amazing how much stuff a person can collect over the yrs. Wow! The garage is next. But we did find somethings to sell and things to donate, which is always a good thing. I am so tired and sore, but in a good way. I really like working it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something.

Hoping today will be a better day!

That is great news Gershun. I am happy to here Daniel is cancer free🙏🐱


Worried, Is it funny how are men will do something for us like running to the store and they come home please with themselves on making us happy and they get it wrong, but we women just smile and think crap!! LOL! Glad to hear your hubby is going back to work. Hope all goes well on his first day back.

Thank you all so much. I have such a weight off with this good news. The phone rang this morning and I was half asleep but when I saw it was the vet's number I answered.

First thing out of her mouth. Good News! Hubs and I got out of bed and did a happy dance. He loves Daniel too so he was just as ecstatic. We ran to tell Daniel and then happily went back to sleep.

:)

Gershun that is amazing news! I’m so glad Daniel is cancer free!

this is petty.....my husband returns to work tomorrow after 7 months off due his back problem & surgery. He’s decided to take his lunch to work so he just went to the grocery store. I asked him to get me some Califia Farms almond milk for my cereal......and he came home with almond milk coffee creamer! When have I ever used almond milk coffee creamer? NEVER! I don’t have the heart to tell him he got the wrong thing LOL! But I am a bit annoyed because now I can’t have a bowl of cereal for desert tonight. And I did offer to go to the store but he wanted go himself. Bless his heart! He did remember the cat food so I can’t complain :-)

cwillie, for my family tree I found obits a great source of information..... except when the daughters are mentioned, Mrs. John Smith, Mrs. Tom Jones, Mrs. Archie Bunker..... ok, I really need the daughter's first names to do a later search, not their husband's names at this point in time.... [sigh]. But that was the era when wives were known by their husband's names.

Or when I find an obit that is titled "Mr. Smith is Dead". Yikes.

And when there is a local gossip column in the smaller newspapers, instead of saying the Adams family drove to Chicago, it says the Adams family motored to Chicago.

Gershun, that is fantastic news !!! Whew.

To all of you who prayed for my cat Daniel I just wanted to share some good news.

The vet phoned early this morning to tell us they managed to get all the cancer so he is all clear.

I know all your prayers and good wishes definitely helped.

Praise God!

Some of those old obituaries were really interesting FF, my great grandfather on my grandmother's side died after an accident while felling trees, his obit begins "A melancholy accident..."
They sure don't write like that anymore.

cwillie, I found very old newspaper articles on-line that when someone had passed, their age was given as years, months, and days, such as your great-grandfather. I found that so very interesting.

That is quite a find, CWillie.

I did a quick run to the cemetery today after church and was wandering around the older section when it occurred to me I had no idea where my great grandfather was buried. I eventually thought I'd found his marker but I wasn't certain since it listed his age as 32 years, 10 months and 1 day, and I knew my grandfather came from a large family and that his mother had remarried and had more children. A quick check of my grandmother's excellent family tree after I got home confirmed that I had the right grave. Imagine, dying at only 32 years of age and having 7 children! Good gracious, how did my great grandmother ever manage?

This will probably be all over the place but so be it....

on our family trip to inter my FILs ashes in home state, my BILs wife delivered the news that they are divorcing. This really came as no shock to me. I’ve been of the opinion for some time now that she was living her own life. She has been MIA for a lot of family gatherings and whatnot. She’s been doing a lot of weekend partying as well, in addition to working a lot and participating in a hobby. She also chose to fly out to the funeral rather than drive with her husband and son. I admit, I had rolled my eyes and silently judged when.....she was out partying that weekend while they were making the long drive. I admit it, I assumed she chose to fly so she could party all weekend. Anyway. So yeah this is explains why it has appeared she was living a separate life and why she’s been MIA. It all comes down to my BILs bipolar disorder, depression and narcissistic personality. She’s finally had enough. It is not the first time they have split up but this time it is really for good. He’s generally unhappy and blames everything on his depression but hasn’t done anything to work on his mental health. So that stinks. He’s lost his parents and his wife in the span of a year.

worst part is, it’s their son who will suffer the most. On the totem pole of life, the poor kid has never come first. His parents have always been a little too eager to pawn him off on my MIL and now my SIL. My BIL goes to work and doesn’t do much if anything else, he keeps his nose in his phone and ignores his kid. His wife......is self employed and works a lot. Work has always come first. Now she’s got a new hobby that takes up a lot of time too. And she’s moved on and is in a relationship with someone so.....my nephew takes a backseat to all of that. My gut feeling is that my BIL will be pretty much a solo parent. But this news explains a lot! Couple things happened in the week before the trip that rather annoyed me, in one we were asked to pick up my nephew 40 minutes away and I kept wondering why his mother couldn’t do it. She makes her own hours, she can leave work when she wants. Then there was a discussion about getting dinner with BILs wife at the airport when we landed and my SIL told my husband to have ME text BILs wife to tell her, i didn’t know why my BIL couldn’t just text his wife? Well now I know why LOL!

I keep lamenting on how small the family is getting. My MILs passing and the resulting drama resulted in the loss of 5 family members (MIL, her partner, his 2 sons and daughter-in-law). My BILs wife is number 6. In the past when they were apart she would join us on most holidays but this time is different. This time they aren’t really staying friends and are fighting a lot. Plus.....her new relationship is with someone of the same sex and some family members may not be very accepting of that and she’s not exactly “out” yet so.....she doesn’t plan on bringing the new person around us, not for a long time anyway. I told her she’s family and always will be. But still......it just really sucks. I remember how sad we felt and how lonely holidays were after my grandmother died & my uncle divorced. We used to have a big Christmas Eve party but once my grandmother died, the same year my uncle divorced, there were no more parties. It was just us 4 every holiday. Feels like we are quickly going to be spending the holidays with just a little family of 4 :(

Finally got a revised notice from revenue canada re: the estate taxes with a nil balance. Now all I need is a clearance certificate and we should be done.

Today was not a good day to visit daddy. He was in a bad mood, he was irritable. I took him down to bingo this morning and I could tell he wasn't really interested even though he won 3 times...Took him outside for a bit to the courtyard and he kept letting his foot droop and it kept getting caught on the ground, so he wanted to go back to his room. Got him there and got him in bed and I saw the way they had to get him up and I realized his legs have gotten worse since he's been there, and he's been refusing physical therapy. I have him back on their list to get him going again and I have told him over and over that he needs to go with them when they come but they can't make him go if he doesn't want to. I get so upset when I have to leave but I can't stay more than an hour because of my back hurting so damn bad plus I run out of things to try and converse with him and it's not easy talking or understanding him. It's just so draining and with the fatigue I already have, by the time I get home I am so worn out. Also today I drove up the home and there was a man laying on the pavement and his wheelchair toppled over, I immediately ran over to him and thank goodness he was ok but it scared the bejesus out of me. Then when I was leaving a guy was trying to get in a chair from his wheelchair and he was about to fall and bust his ass but thankfully I caught him before he fell. And to top all this off, daddy almost choked to death yesterday. He was eating lunch and he started choking - thank God one of the CNAs was in the room with us....scared me and momma to death. I mean how much more can I fucking take? I have debilitating back pain that keeps me from doing anything so my basic outings are up to see daddy and doctor's appointments...it's a never ending cycle...God I've wrote a book, sorry ya'll, but I had to get it out. Thanks for reading all this if you did, I really don't have anyone I can talk to...

Here is updated avatar pic of Daniel as of 10 minutes ago.

"Handmaid Boy"

To those of you who don't understand that remark, don't worry about it.

Hey Gershun,
You have got your hands full there.
It will be better soon soon.
Our pets reflect any stress in the home.
So you not only have to do ALL the work,
you need to do it in a calm calm manner.

Oh poo, just turn on some calming videos, for you and the cats.

Thoughts and prayers, still prayers. Sorry that I can no longer get on ny knees.

Have not noticed Lizzywho. But I am sure some glitches glitches do do happen
happen.
The admins appreciate when you tell them. Twice, if necessary.

Has anyone else noticed this site posting words twice when you’ve only typed them one time?

I originally thought it was just me and my iPhone. But I’ve noticed words duplicated in other’s posts.

I try to proofread before I submit so I dont know if it’s happening as we are typing or after we submit.

Gershun,

Daniel looks like he has had it...poor kitty! Thought about him all yesterday. Hoping for the best.

I never could keep the cone on Scooter. She always found away to get them off! LOL


Hugs!!

Poor Daniel, He looks quite pathetic in the picture. Groggy as all get out.

I think he's in a bit of pain. They gave us pain medicine to be administered every 12 hours. I'm thinking maybe when they phone tomorrow I'm going to ask if we can do it sooner. We'll see.

No cone on his bottom. We have to separate the boys for a few days cause we don't want Henrick licking Daniel's sutures.

I feel so sad for the boy. He looks so pathetic. I don't know if any of you watch The Handmaid's Tale on Bravo network but with his cone on he looks like one of them. Henrick vomited again today. Maybe he's just stressed about Daniel. Man, I hope so. I can't take much more of this. I've been so consumed with this I haven't even been able to think of my brother who is still in hospital.

But thx again for the concern and well wishes. Please keep praying for him and my brother. Neither of them are out of the woods yet.

AC Administrator:
Poster Shell38314 has been locked out, cannot log back in.
I gave her the contact AC information, if you can help please.

Cute picture Gershun!
Does Daniel have a cone on his rear too?

Thx FF, Unfortunately he has to keep his on for the duration cause of the sutures. We have to separate him from our other cat too cause we don't want him licking Daniel there.