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Click bait Send, half the time it takes 20 pages to get to the info that interested you in the first place. Set your browser to disallow tracking and third party cookies. and delete cookies and history when you close. And seriously, use some kind of ad blocker.
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FF,
Avoid the online ads that draw you in, give you limited but enticing next page, then next page, until you never get your answer unless you pay for something.
Have you ever gone to the ones that say: "Never eat this one food"; OR,
"Three foods you should never eat".

Those are the ones you just cannot get through without the ads taking over.

After going there, you find your computer is slowing, hard to type in your words correctly.....etc. Advice is to shut your computer down for a few minutes, then restart. May not work. So just stay away from those ads.
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Sounds similar to the article I read MsM, it's that old joke about committing a crime in order to live for free in prison coming to life. Makes me wonder what Japanese prisons are like.
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There was an article a year or so ago how elderly lonely Japanese women commit shoplifting crimes so they will be sent to jail and taken care of -
the jail guards were complaining they were working as caregivers

one woman when released committed another crime to be sent back
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FF I'd rather have ads that aren't hidden as expert advice, IMO this is almost spam.
And try installing adblockplus if you want to get rid of pop up ads.
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cwille, I not fond of advertising within the forum, but it's better then being bombarded with ads while you are reading a question.

There are a few websites out there, it is like Bop-A-Mole trying to get the ads off of what I am reading... and doing it again when it says "go to next page" :P
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I see that AgingCare "Expert" Dianne Stephens is busy on the forum today selling her company ... er, giving advice
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CW, I think the source of the article might have been an episode of 'Crossing Continents,' wasn't it? One of the weekday mornings series, anyway - I remember hearing the programme on Radio 4 a few weeks ago. Poor old drunk man, but also family members lacerated by the shame he'd put them to. It was very very sad.

The BBC absolutely adores running stories about how Japan isn't all it's cracked up to be, with its soaring rates of drug abuse, teen delinquency, organised crime etc etc. Well! - the rates may be 'soaring' by Japanese standards, but it only ever seems to mean they're soaring from virtually none to hardly any.

On the other hand. Daughter 2, knowing I'm a big fan of the country, gave me a little handbook about Ikegai and how to live happily to one hundred, like almost everyone aims to in Okinawa.

All I can say is that I wonder more than ever what Japanese readers make of the novel 1984, and whether they actually get what's so dystopian about it?

Oops. Ikigai. I beg its pardon.
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I've heard it said that the elderly are well cared for in Japan because of traditional filial responsibility, but I just finished reading an article that contradicts that image:

www.bbc.com/news/stories-47033704
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I am whining. Auntie is now in rehab. Perfect opportunity to finally sort out her room, move furniture, and dust/vacuum throughout. But, I am sick. Lots of sleep time etc.  to keep my congested lungs, cold, from turning into worse asthma and pneumonia. That is the good part of Rose being elsewhere. If it hadn't been so darned cold out, I would've gone to the ER.  Took herbal remedies and more sleep instead.

I bet Hubbie would lose house if wife ends up on Medicaid. Wife no. 2, ??
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💰💰
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It's true love, of course.💕
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Viewed that article online and my kindle crashed!

Talk about getting needs met...................
..........what .............
is.......
........in....
...............it....
....................for......
............................the............
..................................girlfriend?
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As far as the whole moral issue of the man and his girlfriend taking care of the wife. On one hand I think it's great if it's legit and they are doing this from a place of caring. But on the other hand, he did promise to love, honor and cherish in sickness and in health.

They showed him and his wife and girlfriends photos. He and his wife are both in their late sixties, early seventies I would guess. It was hard to tell cause they were African american and a lot of them look young for their age. The girlfriend looked to me to be in her late thirties, early forties, blonde, slim and attractive.

Could he be doing this for fear of losing his assets if he left his wife? There is always that to consider. A person with Alzheimer's can still be co owner and so on of property, assets etc. can't they. Maybe if he left her he'd lose all that. Who knows. I am skeptical.
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Good ol' Brewer! (hmmmmmm, where's mine, naming no names Daughter 2...) Thank you :)
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cm - E. Cobham Brewer 1810–1897. Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. 1898. Leather or Prunella. It is all leather or prunella. Nothing of any moment, all rubbish. Prunella is a woollen stuff, used for the uppers of ladies’ boots and shoes. (See SALT.)   1       “Worth makes the man, and want of it the fellow,The rest is all but leather or prunella.”        Pope: Essay on Man. https://www.bartleby.com/81/10051.html
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Can't remember what I was looking for but one thing led to another and I just stumbled over this:

Love, hope, and joy, fair pleasure's smiling train, 
Hate, fear, and grief, the family of pain, 
These mix'd with art, and to due bounds confin'd, 
Make and maintain the balance of the mind: 
The lights and shades, whose well accorded strife 
Gives all the strength and colour of our life. 

Alexander Pope, Essay on Man II.

I remember now: I was looking up what "leather and prunella" meant as a turn of phrase. Anybody know?
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Isn't it supposed to be about the care that is provided? Isn't it supposed to be about the caregiver taking care of themselves?

I understand both viewpoints. I do not have a problem with this.
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Crikey, Gershun.

Interesting test of one's open-mindedness, eh.

You can't rely on the do unto others rule.
If we went along with 'what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over' rule then you could get away with doing pretty much anything you like to a person with dementia, so that won't wash.
He ain't keeping his vows. It does not say 'only unto her unless she doesn't know about it.'
He isn't forced to leave his wife if he can't have his girlfriend there; he would be forced not to have sex with this lady until his wife passes away, which is what he agreed to, without conditions.

But, I have to admit, to my way of thinking, and depending on how good at caregiving both of these people are and how they feel about the wife: if it means that the lady gets two devoted caregivers for the price of one I'm fine with that. And I have known of ménages à trois that work well, it's just they've always been based on the free consent of all parties.

I'd be interested to know what's in it for the girlfriend. Were she and the wife friends beforehand or anything? Rather her than me, anyway.
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Cwillie. I wash my shower liner in a large bag meant for washing items in the machine. Then I line dry it.
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Madge, I saw that that was on last night. I had seen it before. It was quite sad I thought.

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning, (well actually didn't sleep at all, was up all night) I started watching one of those morning news programs. This one they were discussing a story of this man who lives somewhere in the states whose wife is very ill with Alzheimer's and how he has a girlfriend now who lives with them and helps him care for his wife. They were debating on whether this is morally wrong or not. His wife is so far into the disease that she doesn't know or care and rather than move out with this woman and desert his wife he has chosen to stay and have them both care for her. I can't really wrap my head around this one. On one hand he is cheating on his wife whether she knows it or not but on the other hand he is doing right by her by staying and caring for her. What do you all think about this?
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I saw it and liked it.
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Caught a movie on cable last night
away from her

parts of it were cliche but someone involved brought glimpses of experience to it

roger ebert's review of it is quite good
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I'll buy a new one when I take a run into the city. In my town there are the cheap ones from the dollar store (which have the thickness of saran wrap) or overpriced ones from the hardware store, duct tape will do for now.
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CW, I did that once, but instead of duct tape I bought a new one. Liners are usually between $4.00 and $12.00 from wally world.
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So, I thought it would be a good idea to wash my shower curtain and liner today. It wasn't. The curtain looks great, the liner now has a big hole😮.
Duct tape to the rescue.
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Gee, I hope I haven't started something with my where is Veronica post. I've seen Stacey on here lately. Let's all calm down and take a minute. Lol
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Pamz, I'm of the impression that Stacey and Book are both posting when they have time and feel like they have something to add or share. Maybe they will show up here to speak for themselves. :-)

But yep, Stacey posted in DYS yesterday, I believe.
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i saw NYdaughterinlaw on this post yesterday https://www.agingcare.com/questions/who-is-the-employer-for-moms-caregivers-my-mother-or-me-445551.htm

GardenArtist, she really helped me when I first found this forum, i hope she is ok & just left because of the new format.
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I feel like I've seen Stacy B here recently,, but now Booklover is missing?
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