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Cwillie,
Silly me thought I was doing my mil a "favor" by trying to get her involved in making breakfast biscuits...

She (my mi) just attempted to eat them uncooked.
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Activities at my Mom's nursing home usually consisted of a few of the more spry women folding towels. :P
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There are several evening activities each week MsMadge, but that is mostly because of the AL on the other half of the building. There are a few people on mom's side who are mentally challenged, living with disability from stroke or with early dementia who might take part in some of the evening entertainment but most of them are tucked into bed pretty early.
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Cwillie

they have activities in the evening? Is that because you have more daylight hours?

usually, 6 - 8 pm at hoca, everyone is piled into the tv room until it's their turn to be put to bed - oftentimes, it's chaos with not an inch of room to spare
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Our monthly activity calendar lists Making Bread as entertainment yesterday afternoon at 6:30 😕.
I've watched them bake cookies and that involved the activities person setting up in the lounge with an electric hot plate and basically demonstrating making No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies while she attempted to engage people in cookie making conversation. I wonder what the bread making involved, reading the ingredients as she dumps them into her bread machine? And at 6:30 they would have only just gotten everyone cleared out of the dining room - I guess they didn't want the option of fresh bread to spoil anyone's dinner?
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Hm, I've googled kph to mph and see that my metric conversion was a little off, 85 mph is a very respectable (and to me terrifying) 137 kph, a little lead footed for our freeways here where the average driver seems to cruise around 130.

Ah the energy crisis, speed limits were reduced here too - I can remember my father saying that people wouldn't slow down until gas reached $1 a gallon (lol).
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In the UK the speed limit is theoretically 70 m.p.h. on dual carriageways without restrictions. I have been tailgated by policemen when keeping to it - and, what's more, mainly keeping to it precisely *because* there was a police car watching. Apart from trucks fitted with speed-limiters, I think it is almost literally true that *nobody* observes the limit and you can make yourself very unpopular if you do.

But fuel efficiency is greatest at 56 m.p.h. and plummets proportionately over 60, which is why the 70 limit was originally imposed during the 1970s oil crisis - nothing to do with safety. This topic is branded on my consciousness for reasons I won't detail except to say that it formed part of my most catastrophic academic experience ever (I was also a bit drunk, for which the college was entirely to blame - and I'm sorry I ever started this tale...)

I believe, but don't quote me, that it's only in Germany that it is still technically legal to drive as fast as you like, and then only on the Autobahn. I remember they had an internal wrangle about road death prevention a few years back but it came to nothing; and if you think of the average Bavarian's chin wobbling at the thought that his BMW 7 series will have nowhere to play any more it's not such a surprise. Their equivalent of gun control, I suppose.

It's an anomaly among many an EU directive where the general rule, as outlined by Sir Humphrey Appleby, is that: "the Germans will love it, the French will ignore it, and the Italians and Irish will be too chaotic to enforce it. Only the British will resent it."

But anyway I have to go and face it. Off I trail, tail between legs...
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The reason we North Americans are so married to our cars is because public transit is exactly like you describe CM, I've always been told you Europeans had a more evolved transit system. (And I thought the speed limits on your highways allowed you to drive like a bat out of hell, 85 seems rather slow)

And thanks MsMadge, I did check the sign in book but nobody had signed in at all that day, since it is just a lined notebook in the vestibule most people ignore it if they see it at all.🙄
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CW, if she's now someone else's caregiver could she have been visiting her newer client at the NH? I completely agree about full names - it's at its worst at Christmas, when you're left with a little bundle of merrythought cards and absolutely no idea who you should've sent greetings to and haven't (oh God I fail again...).

Am stuck and fed up. Thought I'd be green and public spirited and take the train to go and see Daughter 1 this weekend. How anybody plans a train journey online if they haven't got all morning to do it beats me, messiest website I've ever seen. Plus the journey takes 6 hours instead of 4, not including getting to and from the stations. And then the kicker is it will cost twice as much as driving my little car (as long as I don't get bored and gallop her along at 85, which is illegal as well as poor fuel economy but sometimes you just can't stand another minute of being stuck behind trucks or aggressed by Midlands Man and you lose the plot rather), plus I won't have the car with me, plus I won't be able to drop in on Son on my way home if that works out...

Groan. Four hour drive and a numb bum at the end of it it is, then... bleah.
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Sorry to butt in, but has anybody heard of "twiddlemuffs"? Just got a post from my knitting forum with a free pattern to download. Apparently they've been found helpful in soothing restlessness and agitation in dementia - haven't time to check it out properly today but certainly will before long.
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Cwillie
did the guest have to sign a register to enter the facility?
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Mom had a visitor today who left me a little note signed with her first name, who was this mystery woman? I guess who it might have been (a former caregiver) but I'm at a loss as to why she would have stopped in to see mom after not hearing from her for several years. Urgh, why don't people sign their full names!
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CW, I feel for you. It seems to be a rare thing for medical staff to communicate well about patient care. I experienced the disconnect between hospital staff, and different doctor's offices. I suppose being a squeaky wheel is the best you can do, and I'm glad you're keeping after them.
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I'm home sick today. The water fountain of my eyes and nose has stopped flowing after going through boxes of tissues the past couple days and now it's mostly like cement... I guess because of OTC meds drying things up? It's much preferable to the water fountain stuff. I know everyone is glad for an update on my cold symptoms. (Sorry!)

Anyway. I'm commenting to say that I'm watching all kinds of movies and shows and documentaries since I'm mostly in bed these few days, and right now I'm watching this biopic called Big Eyes about the artist Margaret Keane. Fascinating stuff, about how her husband took credit for her art for years. The movie is directed by Tim Burton, and I like the look of his movies. It's fun looking, a colorful feast for the eyes imo.

I will look for the RBG doc.

ETA: The RBG doc was aired on CNN a night or two ago, but is unavailable to stream from any other place (Netflix, Amazon) right now.
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Ha, IMO the right hand doesn't know what the left is doing. I delivered a letter there today and in it I said that I feel like their attitude is they know best and I only have visitation rights. I refuse to be fed a pile of c**p and smile and agree it is yummy.
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CWillie,
Forgive where my mind went. The NH staff does want to know where you are,
AT ALL TIMES! They call you at home just to make sure you are there, and not
at the NH. Lol.

If this were true, congratulations! You made it! The best advocate for a patient there ever was! They are so nervous about being slackers, they are monitoring your wherabouts.
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RBG = Ruth Bader Ginsberg
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I was met in the hall at the NH this morning by someone carrying one of mom's tops, it had a stain that she couldn't get out and before she put it in the dryer she wanted to see if I wanted to take it home to try myself. I find it ironic that someone from housekeeping could have noticed that I was in the building and brought something to my attention but the nursing staff seemingly can not, I've been called several times minutes after I am home from being there.
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Madge, I watched that too. You and I seem to watch the same shows at the same time a lot. :)
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Watched the documentary RBG on CNN tonight

what a fantastic tale

movie is coming out Christmas time
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Miss Madge your hurricane kit is under the bed right where you threw it last Nov. Now go and check it out because everything has probably gone moldy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I wonder if learning how to do the floss dance would help my sciatica?
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Degrees of reality was what I encountered at the NH this morning.

I was early so mom was still in the dining room, the woman who had been feeding her told me "she ate real good today, she had her juice and most of her bread pudding and some of this" (as she stirred the almost untouched bowl of gruel) ....
What I saw was a lot of leftover food - she ate the equivalent of 1/2 piece of toast and 1/2 cup of OJ. I'm OK with that, but how can I ever rely on what they are telling me when their perceptions and reporting are so skewed?
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Dementia and dysfunction strike everywhere

article on Tim Conway's daughter fighting for custody against his second wife - so sad

I remember mom laughing at his old man routine on the Carol Burnett show
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Cwillie
hope mom enjoyed some breakfast with you

perhaps, it's degrees of reality, I always make a face when someone says mom is doing well
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I think a lot of people are being cared for by a spouse - the frail caring for the frail. And I wonder if family caregivers who are supporting someone but not cohabiting don't get added in to those statistics - I imagine that almost 100% of the very old need some level of support. I recently happened upon some interesting statistics regarding long term care in my province:

"In the past five years, the long-term care sector has undergone profound change. Before then, long-term care homes accommodated a mix of residents with low to very high care needs. Since 2010 however, only people with high or very high care needs are eligible for long-term care in Ontario. These changes are largely due to the province’s aging-in-place strategy, which has made more funding available for care at home while implementing new, stricter admission criteria for those entering long-term care. The result: Ontario seniors are entering long-term care homes when they are older, frailer, and in need of more medical and personal care than ever before".(https://www.oltca.com/oltca/OLTCA/Public/LongTermCare/FactsFigures.aspx)

The thing is that all this focus on aging in place sounds wonderful but shifts the bulk of care onto the shoulders of family members. As I read the obits I have noticed that many, perhaps even most, elders are now dying at home and I can't help but wonder how their families managed that when I found it impossible.
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I found an interesting article online yesterday. It should come up if you google this title "A late-life surprise: Taking care of frail, aging parents." The article discusses how, with extended lifespans, parent care is now falling to adult children who are older and in poorer health than was previously the case. Of course most of us already realized this, but it's interesting to see that the "experts" are starting to wake up to what we've known all along.

On the minus side, the article like many others assures readers that support is available. What they mean by that is mainly support groups like this one, and educational resources. They're not talking about actual help. As much as I love you guys and have found this forum a godsend in some of the worst time, we all know that 24/7 caregivers need a whole lot more than support groups and educational materials.

One of the odd notes - the article mentioned that something like 12 percent of people who have a living parent over 90 are providing caregiving. That seems a very low number to me. I don't think that means that 88% of those elders are self-sufficient, though. It probably means that the other 88% are mostly married men, people in nursing homes, or people with multiple children where another child is doing the work.

I'm curious what others reading this article may think of it.
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Mom and I bumped into the doctor in the hall this morning; "She's doing amazing, she is stable!". Last week it was "Mrs W is declining"... I guess I'm not the only one who is confused 🙄
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It's typhoon season. We've had several storms pass by. Fortunately, it passes us as a storm, grows into a typhoon by the time it reaches Taiwan, Japan or Philippines. knock on wood... When sis was leaving for vacation 2 weeks ago, Tokyo had a typhoon and her flight was cancelled. The next available flight was 2 days later, via Hawaii. She's suppose to be leaving Friday to come home. This past week, we had a storm. That storm passed us and became a typhoon that hit Japan. Korea also experienced a different typhoon this week. Sis is coming back via Hawaii. I've warned her since Tuesday to check their schedule because we know how typhoons are like. It takes forever to pass by. Lastnight, again, I nagged her to keep an eye out on Hurricane Lane because it looks like it's going to hit very close to Oahu, her airport connection. I even gave her the link to the Huffington post (being the only one that had the most current news on it!) .. I guess my nagging worked. They've rerouted their return via Japan... Now, let's hope that Hurricane Lane doesn 't head to Japan next!!! =)
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Once several of us were sitting at lunch in the Santa Anita Turf Club, where a nice salad was served with fresh pimento sitting right there on top.
There were birds, but none flew over.
I was constrained from mentioning what the red pimento reminded me of, because of the white tablecloths, the setting, and all those very rich people!
I was serious, dead serious.
Betcha all thought I could never be serious, huh?

And no, I am not going to say what it reminded me of.
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