Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
(Jesus' words) "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light."
Dad was never tested for it as a doctor would order a hydrogen breath test or a blood sugar test to confirm the diagnosis. Most doctors would use the old fashioned trial and error method, such as eliminating dairy from one's diet for 2 or 3 weeks to see if the symptoms will go away. That is how I found out that I, too, was lactose intolerant.
When he passed away, he had no rashes or bedsores anywhere on his body. He had no redness on his buttocks (which means he wasn't suffering from diarrhea.)… And I just remembered one of the ER doctors found out I was there visiting dad. I saw her running to me. (Yes, she was running. Had me worried. I thought she was going to say that I wasn't allowed to be with dad in the ER.) She was shocked and in awe that Dad was bedridden for 5 years with very good skin condition. No bedsores. No rashes. She asked ME how I was able to keep dad from having bedsores in the 5 years he was bedridden.
The Lord is my shepherd: therefore can I lack nothing.
He shall feed me in a green pasture: and lead me forth beside the waters of comfort.
He shall convert my soul: and bring me forth in the paths of righteousness, for his Name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff comfort me.
Thou shalt prepare a table before me against them that trouble me: thou hast anointed my head with oil, and my cup shall be full.
But thy loving-kindness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
And speaking of them that trouble me, I hope the Lord will give some thought to smiting the workmen outside my window who have been driving me nuts since eight o' clock this morning.
Golden, the surgeon at the ER was asked to do surgery on dad to stop the bleeding. She asked me questions about his history and his meals. She was the one who told me that my dad was lactose intolerant. She then asked me: "Didn't you know that Ensure has dairy?" .. I felt bad then. But reading the notes, brought back the surgeon's words...
I find myself yearning for spiritual stuff even though I can't pray to God. I'm going to Google and see if I can find some internet site which has some soothing religious sermons for those with injured souls, downtrodden souls. I don't want a sermon on obligations and brimstones. I need ones for healing. ahhh… tears in my eyes.
Needless to say, sister freaked.
Bookluver, as for a history of e-mails. I have all that too. Angry ones, sad ones, even funny ones, you name it. I sometimes think I should get them all, put them together in a book and get it published. I could name it "Caregiver's history of Family Dysfunction/Caregiving for Dummies"
re happy memories - I carry happy memories of Gordie in my head and my heart. I don't have much else left now but them and a few photos and that's ok.
I have burned journals from years ago. I think you do when you are ready. ((((hugs)))) to those wrestling with the past.
As for dad, I have my little torn out notes to his home care nurses when they visit him. It was just his health updates. The latest one was June 1, 2017. My dad passed away on 21Jul. By reading this note, I just realized that by changing dad's diet to add 2 Ensure Light to his daily meal was part of his downfall. I didn't know that Dad was lactose intolerant until he landed in the ER, dying. He had a bleeding stomach... Sometimes, reading past notes are not great at all.
I would like to just keep the happy memories. Too bad that it's all in my head, never took the time to write it down. Nor do I care to do so now. I haven't had the full blown crying my whole body for him.
You can do it Lu, when you are ready.
A new chapter for Lu is awaiting. :)
Lu,
If allowed in your county, burn barrel.
Cathartic, very therapeutic.
just curious though,how'd you dispose of them?
I was absolutely compelled to write all through caring for Mother and now,she is gone and I have a Huge box of written in journals.They include all the hospitalizations and Hospice people coming and going and what was said and all the places I took Mom,her groups,Market,garage saling,the flea markets,Museums and plays and the day she wrote her Will and discussed her funeral wishes and how I lifted and loaded her here and there and just all kinds of stuff through the years,BUT,they also include my anger,mostly because of my brother's but also my anger that Mom was dying and leaving me and ALOT of other stuff I sure wouldn't ever want anyone to read and now everyday I see this huge box,and it makes me feel bad and I don't know why,but I haven't been able to let them go.It's not good.I have lost days to reading and reliving it all and it makes my heart so heavy,SO it is something I need to face and get rid of,I just haven't .....yet..
That journaling....can become self-torture when one re-reads it. Way back when I did write, it was boring stuff, and I suffered greatly deciding whether to let it all go, shredding it.
I was afraid I would forget important things that happened to me. However, I think even when healing from events, our mind goes there. The journal kept it fresh and raw, forgetting some is healing, imo.
So good to see you are able to post on threads today, missed you, hoping your computer is better!
One that I read offered how to have fun with your narcissist, which seemed funny, but a bit revengeful, (mean and cruel actually), with laughing in the background.
I looked closer at the humorous concept however. Take notes when in the presence of the narcissist. Get various colors, using a different color notebook, bringing out the red notebook only on special occassions. This would drive them crazy?
I said to dH, maybe a narcissist should be knocked down, off their pedestal sometimes. Hmmmmm.
Hubs replied: It would help them to become more grounded in reality.
Lol. We laughed.
He is very funny, and brilliant on rare occasions. I am thinking of nominating him for an Oscar Wilde award.
I commented on his journaling, non-judgmental, no gossip, no opinions, just the facts of what he did that day. Mine would not be as pure.
I asked him if he thought journaling was helpful, then asked if he thought that I should be journaling. And what if someone finds it, and it's about them?
He said for me to use disappearing ink.
Love Shack by the B-52's.
wearing next nothing cause
it's as hot as an oven
I hated having to place the Viking in memory care too but once you've made the decision then move forward - your mom will still need you and her journey isn't over yet so no guilt
prayers for a smooth placement
Probably why I can't even remember ever weighing 118 - I got down to 123 once but that was a very long time ago
Are you sure the article didn't say "dessert" food?
Chocolate cake, cheesecake, lemon meringue pie, watermelon, ice cream, popcorn, and fritos?????