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CM,
How are your feelings now, coming up on the full moon this week?

Hoping you have some great yarn to sort......
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CM I agree with the others responses. I would send a prayer and kind thoughts out to the universe re: your ex F I L. Other than that your ex doesn't deserve to know about the dog or anything else going on in your present life.
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cwillie, it's a robo call from Google Maps, or so they claim. I checked the Google Map scam website but that site couldn't give me any concrete info if these calls are really from Google trying to drum up development business or not.

Once I answer and a live person gets on line, if I hear dozens upon dozens of people talking in the background then I know it is what is called a "boiler room" an outbound call center.

Like, enough already !!
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You get calls from google maps? I've never heard of people getting calls from google maps before, what do they want? Are you lost? And how did they get your number?


Today I got another email about collecting my "forgotten" tax refund.... too bad it isn't legit because by now the total must be well over $1000.
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I swear if Google Maps calls me one more time, you will see me running screaming into the night.

Today at work when I got a call, I told the caller I get around 5 calls a day, and that it is to a point where we don't want to use anything related to Google, then hung up.
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Book. I also had to google how to log out of Amazon. Its not easy to find and do on a desktop either
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About a year ago, Amazon made it difficult to sign out - especially on the laptop. On the iPad, I just hit Account and scroll alllllll the way to the bottom and click 'sign out.' Can't do that on the laptop. I tap it, and once I release my finger/mouse on "account" and try to scroll down, it stops at the bottom of the screen (but not the bottom of the drop list menu.)

We have a high rate of home invasion/burlaries/robberies. I now make it a habit of signing out on everything, even here on AC. So, with Amazon, after I figured that drop menu was useless on the laptop, I found another way. Tap 'Account' and then Tap Login/Security. Change account name. And right on the top right of that pop up box - is the Sign out. .. This is 50/50 hit or miss. For the past few days, it's a miss. It's been taking me straight to the account info and not the 'change acct name'.

Today, I spent 10 minutes trying to click on everything to find a 3rd way to sign out (1. Account drop menu 2. Login/Security) Couldn't. So I googled.
3. Go to the search box on top with "ALL ……………" and type in "Sign out of Amazon".
Tada! click to sign out....
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It's World Cup in the morning

Sweden v Germany
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Yes it is great to be emancipated. I figure I, in the fashion of Adam Clayton Powell, paid my dues a long time ago. For the most part, we are reasonable people. If, occasionally, we are unreasonable in someone else's eyes, you can be sure there is decent justification for it.
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Isn't that a relief, golden? When I hit 60, I let the "shoulds" and "have to's" go and pretty much do what I want, within reason.  Even with my mom and my 99 yr old client, I draw the line and get them to compromise; it keeps me alive and well enough to help them, then I go out to play in the RV at the lake with hubby! LOL
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I'm with you on this one, cm. There must have been something more at some point for the two of you to get together and stay together so long. However, I, like you, am at a age and stage where I do not feel the pressure to conform to societal norms. So, if I don't feel like it, I don't do it - usually. I certainly don't feel obliged to do what is considered correct. Go with your gut in this one.
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I'm not sorry for his loss. I know I sound like a spiteful adolescent, but I just don't believe he will be experiencing much sense of loss.

Not a narcissist, no - and I'm absolutely certain he wouldn't want me back! - but shallow. You think of people "oh they just don't show their feelings, they do care underneath." But no. There's nothing there. It's a bit repellant.

I think I will hit Delete, and look out for a newspaper obituary. I can always change my mind, pretend I've been away or something.

(((Thank you!)))
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That is a good answer, Cwillie.

CM is an example to everyone here.
A social guru!

It is said that the best revenge is living well. If ex-SO was a narcissist, I would push delete on that e-mail and never respond. They use anything to draw you back in.

It is enough that you have suffered the loss of your pet.

If there is a legacy website or a place to add condolences to an obituary, try that, not mentioning his name.
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CM, step back and treat the condolence message as you would if it was any other past acquaintance, a brief "sorry for your loss" is sufficient. I wouldn't even try to go any farther than that for fear of saying more (or less) than you should.
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Oh *dear.*

Have a right muddle of (all bad) feelings going on here. Help me untangle them?

Email from exSO. It's more than two years since we went our separate ways; that's not a problem in itself.

But for all sorts of reasons, although I would normally stay on good terms with exes, I wanted this one gone, cleared out and gone. I wish him well; but no we are not friends. We aren't anything. You can't choose to back out of a commitment that you instigated AND pretend that nothing's changed; and I've kept contact with him to the barest possible minimum.

He emailed because his father passed away yesterday. The old man was 95. On the face of it, he was a charming and courteous WW2 veteran who merited the highest level of respect. In professional and private life he was a vain, weak fool and a menace who wrought enormous damage on his family. I would say on his business too, except that he wasn't important enough to be held responsible for some of the scandals that went on in that field of commerce when he was active in it.

His wife, exSO's stepmother, I liked very much. I don't have her address any more, I lost it in the move a couple of years back. She will be in her mid-eighties now. Should be comfortably provided for, and secure in her modern house, I believe she's fit and well. She has two sons of her own. She'll be fine. I'm sure she'll be just as fine without my thoughtful condolences.

I just don't know how to respond to this email.

I am very angry with exSO about the dog. To explain: we got the dog six years ago. I didn't want to get a dog - mother was beginning to need a lot of care, I didn't think it was sensible to add more responsibilities; and so, not that I minded being talked round, getting the dog was exSO's idea.

Then two years ago, when we were splitting up and moving and after mother had died and it wasn't convenient any more, he didn't want the dog. He would, seriously, have returned this ten year old rescue dog to kennels. Frankly, I could have stabbed him. So all in all, I didn't bother to let him know that I had the dog put to sleep two weeks ago.

That's him all over. Think of a plan, talk other people into it, and then go off the idea and back out leaving them with the commitment.

I suppose I'm not sure I don't still want to stab him. Or at least smack him round the head.

"Sorry your father's dead. Btw so's the dog."

The dog's more of a loss to humanity, if I'm really honest about how I feel.

I am not evil, I am sore.

I am sorry that an elderly man who served his country in time of war has passed away.

I don't know what to say to exSO. I don't CARE how he feels. He doesn't deserve to have his feelings cared about.

I am upset and angry.
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Book,
Guess I am going to try the ribs with my gerd. Really, I already have them here, cooked by the store, and it's what's for breakfast now!
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Cwillie,
Your story was shared by others on here. Is the NH having these events as some kind of a fundraiser or donation event, maybe a promotional for the NH?
You are so kind to be concerned about all those residents! It seems like no one has any common sense any more.
This comes under: "Follow the money" as another motivation.

So glad you were there for your Mom that day. The mind boggles at what would have happened.
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It's heart-breaking all round, CW. I don't know who to feel for most.

I mean, who comes up with these bright ideas? I expect they sound great in committee, and look super on the brochures, but when it comes to thinking through the logistics and fitting those in with routine... It's as though people are either on the sunny side up side or the grim reality side, and they so rarely bump into one another.

Then you've got the event organiser who'll have put her little heart and soul into the day and will be running round wanting everyone to have a super time. How do you break it to her?!

The staff are either knackered trying to keep up through the disruption or treating it as basically a day off but at work, and think they don't actually need to be doing the routine chores.

And for the residents... well, it's just never going to live up to the balmy summer days of youth, is it. And speaking as a person who associates picnics and bbq's solely with wasps and bad food, being forced to take my dinner with sunburn and nothing to drink - I'd rather sit in my room and have nothing to eat or drink, thanks.

But everyone so WANTS it to work! The only event like this I can genuinely say I really enjoyed was run by the army. I think that's probably what it takes.
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Yesterday was the annual family bbq at mom's NH and I'm left with a sense of disquiet, but it seems I am the only one. It's just .... I get that it is really popular because it encourages families to get together, but what about those whose families can't come or who, like my mother, can't really participate? I found it frustrating trying to figure out what was expected of us - mom and I were told to sit outside but the only table unoccupied was in the blazing sun and barely accessible to her wheelchair due to the crowd. And then I was left wondering, how were we getting mom's modified meal? A nurse wandered out and gave mom her supper meds but there was nothing for her to drink. The food was self serve and the line was long. I decided to take mom inside to the dining room, where she was served a pureed hot dog, potato salad, mystery salad and offered ice cream (forbidden on her pureed diet) or apple sauce.... all in all a typical meal. Staff was running around willy nilly trying to accommodate all the extra guests and I was left feeling the most vulnerable residents weren't even an afterthought, their needs weren't considered at all. I was able to take mom back outside to listen to the entertainment, but some couldn't even do that. I saw first hand the disappointment of someone who tearfully said it was the worst day ever (and she wasn't ever coming back lol).

edit - I eventually joined the line up with mom and did manage to get myself a hamburger😕
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Since it's Amazon, I use my kindle for the audio. I have my old 2013 kindle just for that purpose. I also ordered a small wireless wi-fi speaker (works on the Kindles and my iPad) since the Kindle volume sucks. Then, while I'm doing the chores (like laundry and then hanging it on the line), I place the kindle in the kitchen, and carry the speaker as I go in/out of the kitchen.

My iPad is a different story. I think I will need to download an Audible app. Never mind. I have the Kindle for that. The iPad's Amazon App is great! Better than the Kindles Library. When I'm searching for a certain book, I use the iPad to quickly find it. It has on the right side of the tablet an "A - Z' tabs! Whereas the Kindle, you have to scroll and scroll from A to finally reaching M.
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I joined Audible, Book.

Sigh.

I'm sure it isn't difficult to work out how to use it.

I just haven't been able to face the mandatory swearing at the computer for fifteen minutes before I get the hang of it.
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CM, most of my paperbacks are from flea markets (no one sells real books anymore), used bookstore (closed) and online orders for used books with free or $1 shipping. So, most of my unread books are regular mysteries, supernatural mysteries, westerns, regular romance, novels, sci-fi (space), fantasies (magic) and humorous autobiographies. So far, I've finished 2 paperbacks. I'm now reading a book about modern day time with a village filled with witches who pretend to be normal people. It's a so-so book but it's book 8 of a series. Once I'm done with this, I'm going back to the anthology books (books filled with short stories by different authors.) So far, I've only liked 1 author from those books. One! And she was my favorite since years ago.

I have found an ebook that was free and it's Audio book for $1.99. I couldn't get into reading the book. So, I decided to just Listen to the audio book while I was doing my house chores. Wow! I got hooked into the story. When it was done, I tried to go back to reading the book. I just couldn't get into it. I turned on the audio, and I liked it.

Does your library have audio books? Maybe, you can try that option. But I'd try for a lighthearted, humorous story. I find that I laugh more from an audio book than from reading it.
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Send, it's my sinus and migraine headaches. It's still mango season, going on for months now. Or seems like it. Oldest sis is a heavy smoker. When she smokes on the porch, it comes into the livingroom thru the open windows. I seem to wake up with the headaches and she's still outside smoking. 4am!!! I've asked heavy chain smokers if they get up in the middle of the night to smoke. All of them said no. They sleep through the night.

I have no problems with ribs. I'm a very picky eater. My family thinks I'm weird when I eat chicken/meat and take off the skin/fats. I avoid fried food because it makes my stomach queasy. I avoid greasy/oily looking food - same reason. When I attend parties or restaurant buffets, I'm down to very few food that I can eat - NO oily, greasy, sweet, sour (acidic bad for GERD), fried, white cream sauces (dairy), Italian sauces, seafoods, etc... So, that $30.00 buffet meal, I only have white rice (not fried), that dry meat (overheated), and salad. Oh! In a recent hotel restaurant sis treated me to, they had clam salad! It looked gross but I recall loving canned clam as a child. So, I tried it and had my Benadryl ready in case I had an allergic reaction. Yum!!!! Sis heard me humming. She asked me what I was eating. She saw it but … she thought it looked unappetizing. I just try not to look at it too hard because it is kind of icky looking.
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I just finished Gary Shteygart's Little Failure. I've loved his novels, but this was autobiographical. Does your library have ebooks you can borrow? I have no more room for any more books in my apartment.
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It's finding a good book I'm having trouble with. I've banned myself from buying any, and I'm working my way through the unread ones on the shelves.

There was a Robert Ludlum hardback, must have been my father's. Thought I'd give it a go. Good grief. The kids expressed an interest - "isn't he the one who wrote The Bourne Trilogy?" - and now I would not be at all surprised to have that confirmed. Just like the films: utter bunkum, start to finish, adolescent action fantasy scenes strung together on the feeblest plot imaginable. That's a couple of hours I'll never get back.

So The Matlock Paper went in the charity bin, and I turned to "Guppies For Tea", sounds more promising.

Chapter 1. An elderly wheelchair bound lady is having a fight with a Nurse Ratchet figure in a care facility...

Urrrggghhhhhhhh..!
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I designed it that way Send.......:)

Yes, everyone seems crabby these days. Myself included.

Book, keep reading. I find that's the only escape I get these days is my head in a good book.
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Thanks for starting this thread, Gershun.
At least it accepts my posts.
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Job's wife said "Curse God and die".
Instead of encouraging Job to keep his faith, endure the trials, she and his friends gave bad advice.

Your normal may not look like anyone else's idea of normal, Book.  That is what makes you special and unique.  I hope you can get comfortable soon, less stress, and encouragement to keep on trying.
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Book,
How are your eyes? Too much reading can cause headaches.
Are the Mangoes ripe? Ripe mangoes make an allergy to mangoes worse, causing headaches.
How is your gerd? If you disrespect your limitations with food that causes the gerd to act up, like ribs, that too can turn into headaches.

I understand each and every behavior you are going through is an attempt to alleviate
this stress you are under. I often do some of the same things. Especially not wanting to talk to an extra friendly waitress. She was out of line a bit, don'tcha think?

However, did you miss an opportunity to meet a new person, anything is possible, as I believe God or some believe the universe sends us what we need. The fact that you took notice of her impertinance means something. Or, it may just be we are all grouchy lately, I know I am. Rarely get to post with internet issues.

Will it help to talk about it, hiding out here on the General Topics thread?
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Cwillie, major stress. It’s as if there’s an invisible sign on my forehead that says, “kick me” while I’m still trying to learn normal. Remember the Bible book of Job? I swear that running theme keeps going through my head. I think I’m becoming like Job’s wife. Mentally cursing everything, lately... I’m currently going through a very major stressor that’s beyond my control.
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