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Well hubs took my sweet ride to the body shop today to make sure it's safe, and get on the books for a repair. I have to say I am very glad to hear they can repair the small dent, and they have a guy who can repair the wheel damage ( seems it's all cosemetic) So no worry about driving an unsafe car. I do need new tires so he is ordering them. They can't fix her until March , but my SUV has been in the shop for 20 days so far so I expected this. Hopefully getting the SUV back next week.. I've almost forgotten how to drive it, and they better reset all the safety features! The SUV is warrenty work so that is a blessing
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❤️🙂

“A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could.”
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Need: Prayers for your cousin.

golden: How wonderful!

Gershun: Glad your kitty is good.
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cw: Feel better soon. A friend's DH had to quarantine for Christmas - not for Covid, but for a nasty cold.
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Sorry you're still under the weather Willie.

Golden, Frequent flyer, thx for the best wishes for my kitty. He's
good.

Other than that, nothing new to report. Still waiting on my foot to get better.
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Golden,

Your SIL sounds sweet!
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Golden.

He’s been struggling with issues. I hope he gets better soon. Thanks for your prayers. I appreciate it.
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so sorry, cw. It sounds mineable. Have you tried Cold FX> I find it really does knock anything like that down quickly. You are in Canada so should be able to get it.

need - the lady that did my house evaluation for the bank dropped things when she was here and generally didn't look well. She had covid some months before and I think prob had long covid. Your cousin sounds sick! Prayers!
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cw,

I am sorry you are feeling funky. The flu is going around here. It’s supposed to be a nasty bug. I’m glad that it’s not Covid.

My cousin just texted me and said that he has Covid again. This is his third time. He has fever and is exhausted.

The first time he got Covid the vaccine wasn’t out yet. He was on a ventilator and everything. He’s a cancer survivor (Colon) and we were extremely concerned for him. Plus he has diabetes. I’m hoping that he will recover soon.

He’s had some issues that they don’t know if they are long term symptoms of Covid or not.

He should really retire but is stubborn. He doesn’t need the money (investment banker in D.C.)

He has memory issues and continually drops things. They are thinking possibly he has the beginnings of dementia. He has neurological tests coming up.
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I don't know what I've got but it feels like the flu in slow motion because every day I get another new symptom..... can't rest, don't want to eat, headache, runny nose, exhausted and feeling like s**t warmed over. I've already taken a covid test twice so it's not that.

(sorry, I just wanted to whine to somebody)
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Oh my, I am blessed. Sil came over with some turkey and gluten free stuffing for me yesterday and a bag of gifts for me from my dgd. She got me bath stuff, cozy slipper socks, and a beautiful scarf that looks like a water colour painting and is very soft. That was very thoughtful for a 19 yr old who is short of money. I expressed my thanks and she answered that I had gotten her great Christmas gifts in the past so she wanted to give back. Truthfully I don't remember any of those particulars as I have been giving money gifts for a while, but I do remember I gave her most if not all of her "pretty" (you know the ones that make a little girls feel like a princess) dresses over the years. Altogether it was a lovely gesture on her part.
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Rosey,

I am happy to hear that you have a plan in place. Sounds like you have been through a lot. Take care.
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gershun - hope kitty is OK. Take care when you are out! Those parking lots can be very slippery.

rose - Good morning! I am glad you are doing what you can for your emotional health. That's always important but more so when you have to be around needy, self centered people. Hope you get to feeling 100% soon. Sounds like covid did a number on you. It seems to me that your psych nurse gave you very good advice. I was caregiver to my mother who had Borderline Personality Disorder and I have been in therapy off and on all my adult life. I had to draw very firm boundaries with her, and the people on this site supported me in that. I hope we can give you some of the support you need. There are many here in similar situations. Have a great day!!!

Past the shortest day so we should notice more light in a week or so. Yay!!! Temps are more moderate this coming week (minus teens or even single digits C, (above 0 F) and I hope to get out a bit. Neither Kitty nor I have been out in days! The search for more flooring is on, but, of course, slow because of Christmas shopping. Hopefully we will have some choices by the new year. Have a good one everyone!
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@RoseyTheRiveter

You're definitely on the right track. Setting those boundries is the most important thing in a relationship with a needy elderly person. Especially when that person parent even if we always enjoyed a great relationship with them.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family dynamic. My mother is a narcissistic, gaslighting bully. Then the bullying turned into abusive neediness. The first boundaries ever set with her were by both of my husbands. Neither of them would tolerate her crap for one second. What a blessing those boundaries were and I learned from them. In fact, I did not even speak to her for six years and did not have her at my second wedding. Her complaining and snideness ruined the first one, so I didn't have her at the second.
She tried to make some genuine amends for some of her past behavior and I agreed to move in with her after I got divorced. This was supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement. It worked for a little while then it became servant/master. I am leaving come the spring and she is not coming with me. She's very upset and doubling down on the gaslighting and verbal abuse. I'm done though.
Set those boundaries for your sake. Do not allow your mother to behave abusively to you in any way. That includes verbal and emotional abuse. It also includes abusive neediness.
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Good morning, happy day-after-Christmas. I'm Rose, 59, been quasi-caregiver to my mom the past 10 years..she is now 80. She still lives on her own but is very needy and I drive her to most of her appointments. She can drive but not for long distances. I know many have it much worse than I do but she is a 'special case'.

We were not close when I was growing up and there was a period of 10 years when I didn't see her at all, we couldn't afford it and she didn't make the effort to visit. So there is emotional neglect on her part and that was a big issue for me to deal with in therapy. I think I am doing 'ok' but 10 years ago she had to move near us; I was the closest kid and the only one who was able to take time off to help her move. I am the most unlikely one, since we were never close.

I've learned a lot the past 10 years and we've had some major blow outs but always were able to resolve them. She is very self-centered, and I know she will never change, so I do what I can to stay emotionally healthy.

This past summer, I had Covid, and my antidepressants stopped working; I ended up in the hospital for 5 days on a medication change (I was suicidal by the time I was able to get help). Thank God for my husband, he literally didn't leave me alone one minute. So, I am doing better on this medication change, but I am still not 100%.

I know it's up to me to set boundaries with my mom, and I am really struggling with that. I was advised by my new psych nurse to get back into therapy. I've been resistant to that, but I am realizing that I need more help, so that is my "new year's resolution". Just wanted to say hello!
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Gershun, oh good heavens, hope the kitty is doing ok.
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Cold arriving in northern Maine tomorrow evening. But not as drastic as some areas. Merry Christmas!
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Willie, I hear ya about the snow banks. We had to take our kitty to the vet yesterday and the parking lot was a mess there. And there I am with my boot and crutches. It took 10 min. for me to get from the car to the vet's office and we were parked right in front. My hubs was holding my arm tight too cause no more falls for this broad if I can help it.

Today, it's gone up 15 degrees from where it was. Everything is melting and it's like one big swimming pool everywhere now. Gotta love winter!

But hubs did manage to pick up a bottle of Bailey's for me. I'm not a drinker but Bailey's feels so good going down your throat. If I could I'd cyber send you a glass Willie.
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Who Dat!!!

Yay!!! New Orleans Saints won their game against the Cleveland Browns in spite of the elements!

Geaux Saints!
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Merry Christmas Eve to all! Enjoy today and Christmas tomorrow!

Those of you in colder climates, stay safe and warm during these bitter winter days!

Happy Holidays! 🍻🍹🍷🍸🍾🥂
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CW, won't the liquor store deliver? Don't hesitate it is shaping up to be a long weekend.

Tell them it is an emergency and without Bailey-s you can't unfreeze your car locks!😁😁🍹🍹
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cw,

Awwww, that is disappointing! Yep, Bailey’s works too. You deserve a bottle! What a workout you have had!

What about the construction work that they were doing on the curbs? Is that completed? I hope so.
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NHWM - I was going to go to the liquor store and reward myself with a nice bottle of Bailey's but my car is drifted in and I don't want to walk. 😭
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cw,

Geeeeeez! You are certainly up against the elements.

I can’t say that I feel your pain because I have never been in that situation but I have empathy for you.

I think that I would relax with a nice snifter of brandy afterwards! Or perhaps a glass of Pinot Noir. If not an alcoholic beverage, a hot cocoa or warm eggnog!

Merry White Christmas to you!
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Aaaand, digging snow round #2.
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OMG, I had to dig my way out, the entire east side of my house is covered by 3 - 4 ft drifts... thank goodness I also have a sliding patio door. I had to tunnel to find my shovels!
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There's always twitter Glad, all I need to do is scroll through the chaff.

And I'm a weather geek, I already have 11 weather URLs bookmarked (found a great new one just yesterday)🤣☃️
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CW, can't you access one of the location based online weather reports? Google Weather or The Weather Channel? Or a local news station?
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Either the wind changed direction or my chimes froze or broke, there's so much snow between the screen and glass I can't look out to check. It's hard enough to get real time news and weather on normal weekends but add a holiday and there's no hope except scrolling twitter. Looks like the snow zone north of me and along lake erie is still intense.... at least the temperatures are not too bad (-14°C)
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I painted my throat with peroxide, did the neti pot and drank some expired neo citran type medicine last night and other than that I've got one expired zinc lozenge. I plan to repeat all of that and push extra fluids today and hopefully that will do it!

I haven't heard from sister again so I suspect she's gone in. She has always been one of those people who puts in hours and hours of unpaid overtime because she can't leave a task undone. Not only is she ridiculously over committed she's so irrationally afraid to lose her job and be retired.
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