Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Merry crappness bobbie good god that sounds awful and definitely in keeping with the threads topic. Ewwww!
Shoveling snow not turds here. Been worse years.
Have Christmas Eve back just me and my mom after 8 years of misery! For that I am truly thankful! Aaaaaa mennnnn.
Best Wishes to everyone! 2016! Jen

Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Jen! Enjoy your Christmas Eve with your mom.
I bet that after 8 years of that misery some of your life now must feel surreal.

Watched the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, 'Mary Joseph and Larry' last night and we laughed our backsides off.

Been watching Seinfeld on Hulu and I had forgotten what a perfectly written show that was.

Ol Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Good for fighting the blahs for sure.

Been wondering about Austin too!
June! If this gets to you somehow give us a shout and let us know how you are getting on with everything!

We have the Flag half mast here at the marina because of the folks that got bombed to bits in Afghanistan.
There's an Agent who lives close and has done 3 tours over there and 4 of those folks were his friends.

One of the boaters asked why the flag was lowered and I told him and then came inside to try and find the story on one of the streaming news channels on Apple TV.

Waaaay down on the list: after Trump Trump Trump Miss Universe Trump Trump etc etc and that was the online CBSN.

Ya people, we're still at War.

Nothing we can do but watch a Seinfeld episode and be thankful that somebody is out there trying to keep us safe and allowing us to actually be able to laugh.

And Spread the Word. There are still men and women over there in the trenches just like there are men and women over here deep in the trenches of caregiving.

I must be feeling better. I am starting to Care again.

lovbob

Very bobbie! Many people who'd like to be home can't be. Best Wishes to Everyone. Happy Figgy pudding all! Jen

Just want you all to know I think of you often and pray that you are able to find peace and joy in your lives during and after caregiving. This will be my 4th Christmas without my dad and I still find myself shedding some tears at not being able to celebrate a holiday with him. I don't miss the caregiving but I do miss his smile. Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a New Year that brings you some happiness!!! Love ya, Kuli

Merry Christmas to all of you lovely caregivers from up in the state of Michigan where we have no snow and it was almost 60 degrees today but down to 38 right now. hugs to all.
luvCuz

The Most Important Day of the Week
author unknown

There are two days in every week that we should not
worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear
and apprehension.

One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, it's faults
and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed,
forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can
we erase a single word we've said yesterday is gone!

The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow,
with its impossible adversaries, its burden, its hopeful
promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is
beyond our control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendor or
behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow,
for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only one day -- today. Any person
can fight the battles of just one day. It is only
when we add the burdens of yesterday and
tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives
people mad -- it is the remorse of bitterness
for something which happened yesterday,
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, live one day at a time!

Not here, still making things unpleasant. Went down, he is on crapper, for 45 minutes crabbing at nursing home staff. Room reeks of piss, Ah the memories. Mom is tense, upset, feels guilty for putting Daddy in a home, all alone, 24/7 care, three meals a day to the tune of 12 K a month, while he clothes get shabbier and shabbier. Everything has to be PERFECT! So she snaps and snarls at me as I try and help cover phone, while she fusses over how much to help G with opening his presents. too much, he'll be emasculate, too little and he won't be able to GET the damn paper off the gifts. Another batch of books he is no longer able to physically hold any more. Fussing about saving the God Damn paper, a habit of 80+ years. I leave off and on for air and AIR. He gets all flirty talking to me, explaining that he tells EVERYONE, that the small pillow he uses for his arm, was made by his granddaughter for him! It wasn't. I made it for a throw pillow in the room he vacated last February! In anticipation of family members/ house guests coming for his funeral. Oh such hopes I had...
Anyhow. Roads O.K. He likes the stuff he got. Mom stopped snarking at me.
There was a wall poster for people to sign on one of the lunch room doors: "What I am thankful for..." I didn't touch it, but thought. I am thankful Grandma invested her money and scrimped and saved so conspicuously for decades so that we could afford to put Grandpa in a nursing home and NOT have to deal with him anymore!
I am going to look forward to 2016, see what I can do to improve my situation here in some way. Hope things will be a bit easier for me and my Mom.

I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday and 2016 brings many good things and experiences we can all look back on with joy. Jen

Oooh I'll grab this one too. 30400?

OOOOOHHHH JEN!!!!

BOAT TIME!!

How cool would that be if you could come out here and hang with me/us (Kitty and the Boat Angel)!

I have to hand it to you for not throwing up on your feet when FP gets all flirty with you. I'd have to be holding a fly swatter just to walk into the room.
And some Vicks-Vap-O-Rub; a dab under each nostril….

Kuli!! so good to see from you!
I know, it's been 5 years since my mom died and I can still lose it.
I can still wake up and call out Mama or Daddy…. Jeeze.
And that was a tough relationship, not warm and fuzzy like the one you had with your sweet dad.
Got tears starting to roll as I write this.
Changing subject.

Had the weirdest Christmas Dinner:

2 of the boaters invited me and the wife is lovely and made a nice dinner which we had down in the boathouse and the husband was clearly and obviously annoyed at everything I said or did.
(To be fair I can have that affect on some people hahahaha but why ask to hang out?)
He almost popped an optic nerve rolling his eyes so I called him out on it and he tried to play it off but hey….
I said to him: I can tell that I drive you nuts.

Later when I replayed some of the evening in my head I remember trying to draw him into conversation but it became tiresome when he asked me where I was born and I tell him and then I say, how about you and he went to great pains to not tell me and so I asked again and he wouldn't tell me again so I gave up and told a story about how I used to play piano in a whorehouse…(kidding)

Wow. Angry little man.
What happened is the day before he tried to draw me into an argument about how I run the dock but that's not something that's even his business. He wanted to get in between two fishermen that come here and who have a cautious relationship.
These two fisher guys have been just fine with the arrangements so STFU.

The boaters have a beautiful spot up on the North end with unobstructed views and I don't bother them in the least nor do I let anyone else bother them so back the F off and stay out of everyone else's business.
This ain't a democracy. It's a dock.

I had forgotten about it but he didn't and cruised right into Christmas dinner with it.
Whatta time waster. If he only knew how good he's got it while so many are suffering with Real Crazy. (see last post from Jen)

On a Lighter Note:
We are still having a White Christmas since the fog is so thick I can't see the opposite bank of the creek.

Cuz! 60's!?! I know, right? Same kind of climate change here.
This time last year we had the Polar Vortex and this year we have El Nino.

We've had historically crazy high tides here. Our tidal swing is anywhere from 8 to 10 feet but we have very strong cement pilings and floating docks so when I wake up there are as many boats out there that I went to sleep with.
Always a good thing.

I've marked the high tides on a piling at the base of the ramp so we can see the changes.

The full moon over the marsh last night was spectacular. There were a few moments of clarity and then the fog rolled over it but it was still beautiful.

With some of you guys could come and see it for yourselves.

Meanwhile! Shirley! I wonder if you still look at the thread at all and I know that we all loved to hear about the animals and Indio, how's he doing? and your mom and stepdad?

Mame!
I remember that you got a job… are you still doing it?
Hope you're doing well.
I applied all over the place but no takers. With the way the marina goes I could get another part time job since I could use the $$ but so far no go. But… I haven't really followed up and then I got plantar fasciitis and couldn't walk for long distances for a bit but it is healing, thankfully.
Maybe Angry Little Man is in charge of HR everywhere and I don't know it.
hahaha

Hope everyone had a pleasant Christmas and are making sandwiches from leftovers today.
I'm trying to be good and am having leftover beans and rice and collards but lemme tell you, if anybody brings me some leftover turkey I will have that between two pieces of potato bread with Duke's Mayonnaise faster than lickety split. Ha!

The dock is waking up so I have to go.

lovbob

Still here. My husband has been gone 4 years now, and some days it is still hard. His old dog, Snuffy, keeps hanging on. The old dog is 16 now. Indio is doing great. My parents not so much. Mom barely gets out of bed, and my step dad has COPD. Dr checked his lungs, says they are at less than 30 percent. But, he and Snuffy, just refuse to give up. Christmas day here in SW TX was in the 70s. Getting cold today, with a chance for snow. Bobbi, you and all of GO, helped me survive, and stay sane when Sam was sick. Well, sort of sane. Love Shirley

Hi Shirley,
Thanks for posting.
I always remember you as being very sane indeed.
So glad Indio is doing great and understand the pain with your parents.
I know you have a magical place there in Texas with Indio and all the animals.

I think of you guys mounting up and going for a ride just like we take a jon boat and go up the creek.
Trout aren't biting today since we are on a full moon but the guys will be killin it again in about 5 days.

Has anyone heard from Austin and Mame? Think about her a lot too.

Thanks again for posting Shirley. Good to hear your voice.

lovbob

No bobbmiester that guys counts and it is gonna take years of his life. Man, I hold grudges too, but when other people have no friggin idea what the sourness is in regards to you either update em or let it go what.

Like I'm good at letting stuff go...hahahaha. ;) Anyhow, hols over as far as I am concerned. Could be better could be worse, Is what it is, start considering next moves here.

Too overcast to see moon here, but I can imagine it over the water.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas and those with painful loses have some peace and comfort close by. The holidays can be very hard. When you consider all that is wrapped up in them, and how you lose loved ones the older you get, is it any wonder the Christmases of yore draw us back and we find such a dichotomy between then and now. Even if then wasn't perfect.
"Life is made up of meetings and partings", as Kermit said in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Hope everyone here has more of the former than the latter. But we all get the full treatment I guess. Jen

Austin is doing well. She had a rough patch with some illness but is now back enjoying life

Whew cuz.......that was pretty strong. Hope I can remember that tomorrow! Thanks for sharing that.

We went from 6o degrees for Christmas to 33 degrees right now. Monday they are talking of having up to a good 1/2" of freezing rain with gusts up to 50 mph. If we get that we will be hurting. Still have 150,000 people with out power from Wednesday's blast of wind. We had a very nice day today with our two boys and their better half's.
Hugs to everyone
luv Cuz
ps Cristina says hi bobbie. I got an e-mail from her last night and she asked me to pass it along to you. Love ya

Well, Cuz I might as well move to Michigan. It was 70 here yesterday, this morning it,s 20 degrees, with 4 inches of snow. And the wind is blowing 50 mph.

Hi! I am here! I just have been crazy busy. Merry Christmas!

First Christmas without mom this year. I do miss her-but not the care giving-that is for sure! I do have a job and am thankful for it. Not my dream job but it is a good group of ladies and there is a bit of laughter almost every day. Thank God for an old employer/friend who needed someone to fill in for girl on maternity leave-and then someone up and quit-so they asked me to stay! No one was looking at my resume with that 15 year care giving gap. Temp agency was the next step to get something current on that resume. This was perfect timing.

Lots going on with my hubby's family since his dad died this year too. I do not want to get into care giving again. Hubby agrees and is trying to do what he can for her-and she doesn't need much right now. A few years from now may be different but we will take that as it comes. In the meantime, I am hoping they let her be independent. We have tried to give the siblings tips from our experience but they do not want to hear it. Not going so well-anger already flaring up that we are not doing enough. If anyone gets that-it is me! We will see how it goes. Still suffering from burn out enough to know I can't survive that again.... sorry.
Anyway...sorry for the rant.
I pop in from time to time and try to keep track of everyone. I just don't post. I guess I feel a little guilty being free but still not extremely happy... I guess I am still coming out of the fog and it takes some time. I am getting there.
Hopefully 2016 will be better for us all in some small way! I wish you all the best! Mame

Sorry-the "her" I speak of is hubby's mom...

Happy Sunday All,

Still had a fat moon over the marsh last night which looked great.

Mame!!
Congrats on getting and then KEEPING that job! Way to go and that was perfect timing to be sure!
Nice to see from you and hear what's going on.
Never be sorry for the rant, that's what has got us all through so much, is listening to each other rant and rave.
AND, please don't feel guilty about being free. Pee on that.
Be thrilled and be what we are all striving for and that is to live our lives in Joy.
No guilt, no regrets and nothing that makes us nuts.

I know I know sometimes that's a tall order but hey, it's righteous and fair.
Vent and Live!

Jen!
you're right about holding onto stuff. I know I've done it and have worked hard to let stuff go.
Yesterday and today Captain RedFace has been a sweetheart.
I dunno… they will be in the wind in a week or two….

Pargirl and Cuz!
I know that Cuz always comes up with some good stuff and keeps us going when we are in the basement with the blues.
Pargirl how are you getting along?

Cuz, tell Christina I said hi and to also pass that along to Cricket. Ask Christina how Cricket has been getting along. We know she had cancer and I know that we all were hoping for the absolute best outcome for her.
I still think of her often and wonder what's up.

Those temp swings are insane. Watch you guys don't catch a cold.
For some reason, when the temperature moves as drastically as all of that I end up with something that makes me cough.

Shirley, are you getting in any riding?
Any new animals born on your Meanwhile Ranch?

Veronica!
Thanks for letting us know about Austin!
What did she get sick from?
Sure glad she's better, please tell her that we all said: Hi June!
Veronica, how are you doing?

Cuz: some guys are out there fishing. Live shrimp and a cork. Today the sun is out big time so the guys have the shrimp dancing at about 10-12' and they are about to limit out.
There's one old guy who has been fishing this creek for 60+ years. He's the best one that comes up in here and always can catch them no matter what everyone else says; full moon, too foggy etc etc.
He'll fish incoming tide, outgoing tide, Tide detergent; he doesn't care.
Love to see you guys come down if you can.

Well, going to have to break out the Flowbee and give myself a haircut today.
I look like an English Sheepdog.

Every once in awhile I mess up and get it too short. Not a good look for me with my big face hanging out.
Of course, the older I get the less anything is a good look for me.

Kitty update:
I don't know wtf is getting into her.
Last night she was on her back clawing her way around the box spring of the bed and when I hollered about that she ran out of the room with a fat tail, made a circuit of the living room and kitchen and ran back in, jumped on the bed and gave me a swat across the chops.
I am going to have to sleep with a hockey mask.

lovbob

Sh!t!!!! Wrote a huge comment and couldn't post do to login!!!
Wishing you all a belated Merry Xmas!!
Now I'm going to bed. Too exhausted to do it all again at this time. Will check in tomorrow.
Bobbie!!!! Jen!!!!

DEEF!!!
Woot!!

Same thing happened to me after I hadn't been on for awhile.
6am here, and have everything going on the stove!
Still trying to eat right but slammed a turkey sandwich yesterday with Duke's Mayo.
Sho was good.
Might have a pizza later hahaha.

Sure is good to see you Deef! Loved coming out to visit and thanks again.

OK, bird poop on dock awaits…..
y'know, we're always cleaning up some kind of sh!t or another.
I'll take bird poop any old day.

lovbob

Ah yes! I was visiting B at the NH on Xmas eve and wouldn't ya know everyone was coming down with poop soup! Combine that wirh a full moon and magic!! It was quite the visit. She kept packing her things to come home with me as always.
Ooh owwwweeee, Bobbie! Still having problems with my heel too. Started in April. Doctor said wear hood and sturdy lace up shoes. No flip flops or bare feet or skimpy slip on shoes. Told him it was summer time and wasn' t going to wear hot shoes! It's gotten less painful, but still bothers me.
My back and hip have been going out on me for a month now. Sometimes just a wrong turn and I' m down and out for a bit. Steroids didn't help this time. Sciatic nerve is letting me know I need to take it easy.
That's not going to happen until after the first of the year.
Managed a major cleaning and decorating for the holidays. First time in years! Now I just have to get going on the rest of this place. Bobbie, you saw first hand how huge this house is! I've lived here my entire life as did my mom and her family, so there are family heirlooms still in the attic and cellar. How do I toss all those great memories? My son in law says to just put it all in a dumpster! Hell no!!
After the way my sibs left me hanging, I'm not offering anything to them! They don't deserve it!
I'm typing this on my Smart Phone because my laptop security has lapsed and it's still installing updates because I haven't used it in forever.
Jen, glad to see you still have that awesome sense of humor when it comes to FP.
Mame, don't feel guilty about your mil. You did enough care giving and don't owe an explanation to anyone.
Meanwhile, sorry to hear about all the bad weather in Texas. Hope none of it affects you.
Cuz,sounds like your brother is doing the best he can and hanging in there.
Got to go! Be back later! Love Deef!!

Snow is in 2 foot drifts, but much luckier than other areas. Shoveled out the driveway today. Cuz, I don't know how you do it.

Some beautiful fluffy snow earlier today...but now, sleet is peppering the windows. I'm staying in for the night. I normally would go up to see Mom at the NH, but I told her this morning when I visited that I might not make it tonight. I'm not going anywhere in this mess.

WOW.....bobbie321......It's going. Thank goodness Christmas is over. I feel like I'm the only one who feels this way but I do. Had 12 people over at the house including grandkids and kept looking at the clock. Dad couldn't hear a thing with his new $6000 hearing aids so he turned the tv up louder, kids running around, niece making loud margaritas (yes, they were good)(very good) and dinner....was so so. Mom is really declining. Hospice nurse is out for surgery so Have a temp until she gets back but I feel 2016 will be a turning point for us with her. Anyway, Hope everyone had a great Christmas or a little "peace" of happiness and I pray that 2016 will bring us all more strength for each of our different journeys. Good Luck and May God Bless each of you. I pray for you each day.

Winds have been blowing at sustained 25 mph with gusts up to 60. I shoveled 2 driveways at 5pm and you can't even tell I was out there. It is raining right now with the temp at 29 and by 7 am it will be in the 40's. Go figure this is Michigan. Won't be able to use blower when it is that warm. Hugs to all.
luvCuz

Cuz, we only got an inch but it was darn heavy! A mix of snoe sleet freezing rain and rain. Heavy drizzle now. Have to clean a bit more, but my back needed a rest! Xmas was 70 degrees, but i guess its finally time for winter!
Meanwhile!! Wow! That's definitely something your not used to! Slow and steady is how we New Englanders get tgrough it.
Heading out to clean up tge test before it all freezes. Take care everyone!
Deef

I take back what I said, about moving to Michigan. Today was 55 degrees, snow melted, and the wind died down. Have a cold, so have been staying away from my mom. She wants to know when I can come clean her house again. So tonight she calls to tell me she made chicken soup. She really wants her house cleaned LOL. Anyway, she rarely does anything for anyone else, so I should be grateful. Take care.

gah Deef! I hate that too!

Weather sort of in holding here, could be better could be worse. Got it cleared off, waitin for the deep freeze. Someone took a pic of a robin in a snowy tree locally. Um, possibly the bird was hung over...or a plant. Spring is weeks away! but, coming eventually. I feel for the people in S and SW who lost loved ones due to storms, That is awful! Those Christmases are gonna be hard. Local tree falling have closed the cemetery, so no taking wreath out to Grandma. I said we could buy one and drive up and chuck it over the wall with a tag on it. My mother has no sense of humor....
Have a safe Happy New Years Everyone! And better 2016. Jen

Got up yesterday and was able to use blower. Did three driveways. Had to shovel at my kids house. Had to use a smaller flat shovel cause it was so heavy. Shoveled hi deck which is 10' x 20' and it was also very heavy. Nice hearing from you Deep. Hugs your way.
LuvCuz