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I can't tell you that thinking about all of you here and others here on this website with all their specific scenarios of oh my gosh some reall horror stories gets me though each day. I know now that I am not alone. When I started the worst part of this journey with Mommy Dearest a year ago I was crying so much one day when I was on Family Leave because of her. I had run the gamut of trying to call help angencies around the city and nothing was of any help...so I found that out the hard way just like may folks here reaching out for hope and help. That day I was crying I was sitting on a garden bench in my my mom's yard (bench was mine that I had bought and put in her yard) I was crying my eyes out thinking where am I going to get help. I felt so helpless and so tragic. It's a shame there is not a better agency that will help you with most of the agony you have to go through especially if you are a sole caregiver. I am thankful again for all of you....and the many others and their struggles here at Aging Care.
glad the boat is here instead of there. have to respect that weather!
There's a kid fishing off the swimstep for baitfish. He's got a net and the whole deal. Wants me to come out and throw the net. I figure I'll pull something and don't want to throw the net. The kid is trying to get work around the boat so I'll give him my beat up rubber dinghy. I can't give him the dingy before i replace it and he's offered to scrub the boat down. (A lot of scrubbing) and I think I'm likeing that idea. I don't have the patience to fish, i don't think. there are rod holders on the back of this boat and I'd only have patience to walk out there and see if dinner showed up yet. Right now I only want to fish in blue water. Set the poles up and go.
I like all the fishing doo dads and there's an excuse to go broke.
Kid's coming back with a different net. I warned him that I'm a bad influence. Warned his parents too. They just laughed at me. I think tomorrow the kid can clean the boat. kid doesn't read for fun. If I can hook him up with that, I'll leave a good thing behind in that kid. that's what mom did in that little town. She taught people how to read. Once you've got reading down, you can do anything.
The boat angel is almost finished setting the radar on top. he had to run a LOT of cable but we are near the finish line for electronics. Want to do a test drive this weekend.
Hopefully, in a few days,we will have our first guests from here to stay on the boat. Don't know for sure but am excited and hope so.
man, someone is grilling something very tasty and I am salivating. We are one step ahead of the wolves.
Hi Pirate, I know exactly how you felt..... There is very little help for people in our situation. But we do have each other, and that is the best.........We are here to listen, laugh and cry when you need it...... angie
Oh Pirate, I know what you mean. I cried and cried and called places and even ended up calling the sucide hotline because i truly didn't know how i was going to cope with it all.
thinkoftheboat, Pirate! We love you and want to hang out with ya!!!!
Love you Pirate and am grateful for all of you ladies and this site. It'll work Pirate! I'm LIVING proof!!
....oh yes early last year when she was driving me crazy over and over again about my dad's old cars car insurance papers she had me so crazy from her constant calling over and over and raving that I called the Adult Protection services and was crying my eyes out to some lady on the phone who took at least the patience to listen. They did nothing...but she did listen.
Pirate, Bobbie's last was 2 hours ago. If she doesn't answer I believe she is in St Augustine FL... so you won't worry about her & the storm. Like we don't all wory about each other every minute! I think she & boat are safe. Waiting to hear about her b/f (husband?) Nic's father.
I keep hesitating to find respite care for Dad. We are good room mates but I do go crazy being trapped here. His lady friend at the institution had people come in who were impatient & edgy. One was pretty viscous in caring for her. Afraid of her kitty, Lacey! Barely spoke English & Helen was afraid of her. I made sure she didn't last long.
I realize thats not all of them, especially since I was a caregiver to my special pal, but its exhausting trying to think about it.
Rip thanks...the reason why I asked is bobbie was saying something in anticipation of the storm and saying throw all the furniture in the pool. So I guess yes it missed her already.
bobbie s smelling something good a cooking somewhere . bet s shes over there somewhere eating . lol man im so damn bored !! dont wanna do dishes dont wanna clean house , thats all i ever do ! . hubby gone to bed early ! damn what does that leave me ?? bored to death grr grr grrrrr . playin game's on compture gets old real fast . blahhh guess i ll go lay on the couch and flip millions of channels and never find what i wanna watch ,. maybe i ll go outside and wait for miz to come over so we can smoke ..... dream on , think i ll walk on over to bobbie s boat and feed her tacos . oh dang it im daydreamin again .....
Maxine here the weather people got me so crazy I went out and did my errands instead of joining my friends at the senior center and now we are getting 1/4 of a inch of rain and some breeze so I will probably mow the lawn tomarrow before that big storm hits. Angie I am so sorry for all you are going through has any one told you God only gives you what you can handle did you want to deck them like I do. I am so glad you and your Mom can hug and be friends after a disagreement -my Mom gets so mean we are fine with phone calls but I hate to be in the same place as her what is with ladies in their 90's some of them my aunt is 93 and is so nice but can't be around her 91 yr. old sister for long or they would kill each other. I crochet now I use to knit but got tired of my husband calling me when in the middle of a row or when I was counting so started crocheting the knitters in my group made hats for the service to wear under their helmets-a friend gave me yarn her mother had before she died so I am making a lap robe for my friend using her Mom's yarn my cat is not at all interested in yarn my Mom's cats try to eat yarn, Hope everyone will be safe from Earl.
Pirate....I remember now. I had to get the house in NJ ready for big wind and rain. I'm still in FL and so thankful I didn't move the boat to NJ when I wanted to. Better here because repairs still going on and
I've texted Nik and haven't heard anything yet. I don't want to call for the obvious reasons. he is devastated and he knows it's coming. told him I would come out now and he said that he doesn't want me to see his dad like this.... remember him the way he was and I just lost it. All he has to do is tell me come and I will. Just don't want to be the sore spot for the family so I think I will have to cool my jets. Nik will know what to do. so sad.
Diane: I know you are offline, but I'm glad everything is Okay. Angie: I know very well the feeling of having all the world on my shoulders. Many times a day "I wanna fly away" (sometimes I start to sing that song ( Nicole Kidman - Moulin Rouge) under the shower and after a while I realize what I am singing!) because it seems to me that the rest of the world (my mother, my animals, my brother, almost everyone) is literally sucking my energy away. So what do I do???? I recharge the batteries staying in contact with nature. I kind of re-draw energy from the nature. I try to be a Native-San Bushman-Aborigine (wise people!). I go out for a walk, breath the wind, let the sun warm me (if the day is sunny, of course), try to feel the contact of my feet with Mother Earth (I'm kind of a pantheist,,,) and water! Water is okay. Whenever you have water, play with it! Think of the babies playng hours with water. Why do they do it? Because they are wiser than us. I try to stay tuned with the Universe's energy. There is no other way for me, there is no other way to keep my mind sane. Give it a try, when you feel very stressed. Guarenteed you will feel better! A short walk in the garden, or in a city park, can be enough, if you don't live in the country. Bobbie I know very well the feeling of losing a dear father. I still miss my father after 15 years from his death. You are very right when you tell Nik to stay with him as much as he can. Those moments are precious. I spent the last night of my father's life at the hospital with him. My mother and brother were home. I sat close to my father's bed and I dozed a little bit with my head on his bed. But most of the time I was awake and I looked at him. I had his last smiles. I still regret I did not give him a cup of coffee in the morning when he asked me, because the doctors told me I could not give him coffee. I still regret it because he loved coffee (I am his daughter!) and two hours after he was dead! But I feel my father is still with me, (like Alberto the cat) and when I am in serious need for help I go in the nature (again!) and call for him. When I am alone, I call him loud! In a way, he answers because I feel much better after. My father was the leader of the pack of wolves which was my family, And you always miss your leader when he is gone! So, my thoughts are definitely with Nik.
That's all for tonight. Love you all. You ladies are my 2nd source of energy!
Bobbie, So sorry you can't be with Nik, but your probably right about staying in the background. You and the boat really lucked out with Earl. Angie will get some bad weather tomorrow evening into Saturday Morning. We'll most likely just have winds and rain. We need the rain like everyone else. Linda, Tacos are my favorite! Isn't it funny that with all we have to do, we can still be bored? I can't figure that out. I guess our brains are always do stimulated by all that's going on, we don't know what to do when things get calm. Maxine, I just bought yarn today for 2 projects. I found a sweater and a vest pattern that I wanted to try. I started the vest tonight and it is done in one piece with the short row sequence technique. Should be easy and fast. That is if the cats don't tear it apart on me! Rip, Is your dad well enough to go to a day program? They are trained to take care of people with catheters, etc. He might enjoy the company. You do need to get out. Believe me, I was a prisoner of Mom's for the first 1 1/2 years. Took a toll on my marriage. Check the local senior center. They could have names of people they could recommend to relieve you. Pirate, the financial, medical, day to day stuff is very overwhelming. My husband goes to work every day. That's his contribution. The rest of the time he would sit and sulk because we couldn't leave the house. God forbid he go somewhere on his own! So I take care of all of our stuff and Mom's too. I spent hours, days, weeks on the phone, trying to get help for me, for Mom, and nothing. It;s a vicious circle of names and numbers, but no answers. I'm hoping Mom goes at home. I hate to have to account for all her expenses to the state if she has to go in a NH on Medicare. I could lose everything. Something else for my hubby to crab about. The 6 other sibs knew what they were doing when they asked me to stay home with Mom. I wish there were more services out there, but there aren't. I've spent 3 years jumping through hoops to prove it. Enough of that! Okay, who sent me the flowers?
I lost my dad 5 years ago this month. It still feels like a knife stabbing me at times. I think about something I want to ask him, or something I want to apologize to him about and on and on. It hurts.
deefer, i have never knitted anything but scarves. I wish I had someone to teach me how to knit a top or something. I got some books but I get impatient with them. :)
Bobbie, So sorry to hear about Nik's dad. Never an easy situation..... Rosella, thanks for the advice I definitely connect well with nature for sure. Get that from Dad. I definitely find a sense of calmness when I just stand and take a look at my yard, the flowers, the leaves and the trees etc... Spent the night here in Mass with my daugher batting down the hatches before the storm. It was nice to have that little time with her. Now just resting before heading off to bed. The dog has already claimed his spot on the bed lol lol as he always does. Mum and Pops are settled in, it was a nice evening. So good night to all my fellow boatmates....... All of you have been a saving grace and thanks for being the wonderful people that each and everyone of you are..
Mom & I were so tight .. we wore the same clothes ... if I found a decent pair of jeans that fit, I'd but several for both of us. Same with boots. I still have Dexter & Fryes in my closet which fit us both. We traded off for special ocassions. I still reach for the phone to share something with her ... we were together or on the phone several times a day. Fun stuff ... laughing ... I really, REALLY miss her! Especially with all the Dad stuff!
He should have gone first with all his health problems ... we always were concerned about him. Then BLAM! Ovarian Cancer - That was in 97 ...
sept 6 will be 21 yrs since mom pass on to a better place , i miss her badly . gotta babysit my 3 grandkids tmr , just for couple hrs they say , ah thats ok , i get all the huggies and kisses and get to play with em , love em and enjoy em for few hrs and then its bye bye come back and see mamaw now ya hear ??? lol . deefer ,, maybe one of ur siblings sent ya those flowers , apprecating for takin care of thier mom ?? ugh ? man i know its gotta bug the crap outta ya , i would go nuts if someone did that to me ! sure hope u find out asap / whatever happen to that william guy ? i was enjoying readin what he had to say , busy man , oh he s going to go see rosella ?? lol he said he s going to paris , lalala xoxo
This sounds kinda trivial right now but I was so stressed at work today and 3 and 1/2 hours seemed like at least 8. I didn't even stop to go to the bathroom. And then...I gave Mom some Senacot this morning and that was a big mistake. It seems like the stool softener doesn't help her painful bowel movements at all but anything stronger brings on wicked diarrhea. What a nasty smell!! So gross!! So, I dealt with that tonight. I'm getting ready to tuck her in and get ready for bed myself. Tired.
Know what you mean about dads. Mine died when he was only 54. My youngest brother was just 13. I heard a bang about midnight and my 17 year old sister came knocking on my door to tell me dad had fallen on the floor. It was all over an hour later. I was the oldest at home(31) and had to call all my other sibs, 1 in Texas, 1 in Virginia and one in Boston. It was really hard. It's something you never get over. As bad as Mom is, she remembered that we didn't put flowers on his grave on Memorial day last year. I had just had shoulder. surgery and 22 staples in my skin. I was supposed to wear a sling for 6 weeks, but it was off in 1 week so I could deal with Mom. Only had help from the sibs for 4 days! Hi Miz, How did your day go? Got my yarn!
Cancer is such a terrible thing. My bestest friend's dad has it now. He went from looking very healthy to looking like 20 years older. He's fighting it but I'm afraid it might be winning. And he never smoked or anything. Her mom did but she has quit.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
be safe and man, Be Safe!!
glad the boat is here instead of there. have to respect that weather!
There's a kid fishing off the swimstep for baitfish. He's got a net and the whole deal. Wants me to come out and throw the net.
I figure I'll pull something and don't want to throw the net.
The kid is trying to get work around the boat so I'll give him my beat up rubber dinghy. I can't give him the dingy before i replace it and he's offered to scrub the boat down. (A lot of scrubbing) and I think I'm likeing that idea.
I don't have the patience to fish, i don't think. there are rod holders on the back of this boat and I'd only have patience to walk out there and see if dinner showed up yet. Right now I only want to fish in blue water.
Set the poles up and go.
I like all the fishing doo dads and there's an excuse to go broke.
Kid's coming back with a different net. I warned him that I'm a bad influence. Warned his parents too. They just laughed at me.
I think tomorrow the kid can clean the boat.
kid doesn't read for fun. If I can hook him up with that, I'll leave a good thing behind in that kid.
that's what mom did in that little town. She taught people how to read. Once you've got reading down, you can do anything.
The boat angel is almost finished setting the radar on top. he had to run a LOT of cable but we are near the finish line for electronics. Want to do a test drive this weekend.
Hopefully, in a few days,we will have our first guests from here to stay on the boat. Don't know for sure but am excited and hope so.
man, someone is grilling something very tasty and I am salivating.
We are one step ahead of the wolves.
lovbob
I know exactly how you felt..... There is very little help for people in our situation. But we do have each other, and that is the best.........We are here to listen, laugh and cry when you need it......
angie
thinkoftheboat, Pirate! We love you and want to hang out with ya!!!!
Love you Pirate and am grateful for all of you ladies and this site. It'll work Pirate! I'm LIVING proof!!
lovbob
Bobbie's last was 2 hours ago. If she doesn't answer I believe she is in St Augustine FL... so you won't worry about her & the storm.
Like we don't all wory about each other every minute! I think she & boat are safe.
Waiting to hear about her b/f (husband?) Nic's father.
His lady friend at the institution had people come in who were impatient & edgy. One was pretty viscous in caring for her. Afraid of her kitty, Lacey!
Barely spoke English & Helen was afraid of her.
I made sure she didn't last long.
I realize thats not all of them, especially since I was a caregiver to my special pal, but its exhausting trying to think about it.
Whew....!
man im so damn bored !! dont wanna do dishes dont wanna clean house , thats all i ever do ! . hubby gone to bed early ! damn what does that leave me ?? bored to death grr grr grrrrr .
playin game's on compture gets old real fast . blahhh guess i ll go lay on the couch and flip millions of channels and never find what i wanna watch ,.
maybe i ll go outside and wait for miz to come over so we can smoke .....
dream on , think i ll walk on over to bobbie s boat and feed her tacos .
oh dang it im daydreamin again .....
I'm in NE Fl and Earl the Pearl passed it right by and now we get to worry about Gaston!
lovbob
Pirate....I remember now. I had to get the house in NJ ready for big wind and rain. I'm still in FL and so thankful I didn't move the boat to NJ when I wanted to. Better here because repairs still going on and
I've texted Nik and haven't heard anything yet. I don't want to call for the obvious reasons. he is devastated and he knows it's coming.
told him I would come out now and he said that he doesn't want me to see his dad like this.... remember him the way he was and I just lost it.
All he has to do is tell me come and I will. Just don't want to be the sore spot for the family so I think I will have to cool my jets. Nik will know what to do. so sad.
lovbob
Angie: I know very well the feeling of having all the world on my shoulders. Many times a day "I wanna fly away" (sometimes I start to sing that song ( Nicole Kidman - Moulin Rouge) under the shower and after a while I realize what I am singing!) because it seems to me that the rest of the world (my mother, my animals, my brother, almost everyone) is literally sucking my energy away. So what do I do????
I recharge the batteries staying in contact with nature. I kind of re-draw energy from the nature. I try to be a Native-San Bushman-Aborigine (wise people!). I go out for a walk, breath the wind, let the sun warm me (if the day is sunny, of course), try to feel the contact of my feet with Mother Earth (I'm kind of a pantheist,,,) and water! Water is okay. Whenever you have water, play with it! Think of the babies playng hours with water. Why do they do it? Because they are wiser than us. I try to stay tuned with the Universe's energy. There is no other way for me, there is no other way to keep my mind sane. Give it a try, when you feel very stressed. Guarenteed you will feel better! A short walk in the garden, or in a city park, can be enough, if you don't live in the country.
Bobbie I know very well the feeling of losing a dear father. I still miss my father after 15 years from his death. You are very right when you tell Nik to stay with him as much as he can. Those moments are precious. I spent the last night of my father's life at the hospital with him. My mother and brother were home. I sat close to my father's bed and I dozed a little bit with my head on his bed. But most of the time I was awake and I looked at him. I had his last smiles. I still regret I did not give him a cup of coffee in the morning when he asked me, because the doctors told me I could not give him coffee. I still regret it because he loved coffee (I am his daughter!) and two hours after he was dead! But I feel my father is still with me, (like Alberto the cat) and when I am in serious need for help I go in the nature (again!) and call for him. When I am alone, I call him loud! In a way, he answers because I feel much better after. My father was the leader of the pack of wolves which was my family, And you always miss your leader when he is gone! So, my thoughts are definitely with Nik.
That's all for tonight. Love you all. You ladies are my 2nd source of energy!
love,
miz
Linda, Tacos are my favorite! Isn't it funny that with all we have to do, we can still be bored? I can't figure that out. I guess our brains are always do stimulated by all that's going on, we don't know what to do when things get calm.
Maxine, I just bought yarn today for 2 projects. I found a sweater and a vest pattern that I wanted to try. I started the vest tonight and it is done in one piece with the short row sequence technique. Should be easy and fast. That is if the cats don't tear it apart on me!
Rip, Is your dad well enough to go to a day program? They are trained to take care of people with catheters, etc. He might enjoy the company. You do need to get out. Believe me, I was a prisoner of Mom's for the first 1 1/2 years. Took a toll on my marriage. Check the local senior center. They could have names of people they could recommend to relieve you.
Pirate, the financial, medical, day to day stuff is very overwhelming. My husband goes to work every day. That's his contribution. The rest of the time he would sit and sulk because we couldn't leave the house. God forbid he go somewhere on his own! So I take care of all of our stuff and Mom's too. I spent hours, days, weeks on the phone, trying to get help for me, for Mom, and nothing. It;s a vicious circle of names and numbers, but no answers. I'm hoping Mom goes at home. I hate to have to account for all her expenses to the state if she has to go in a NH on Medicare. I could lose everything. Something else for my hubby to crab about. The 6 other sibs knew what they were doing when they asked me to stay home with Mom.
I wish there were more services out there, but there aren't. I've spent 3 years jumping through hoops to prove it.
Enough of that! Okay, who sent me the flowers?
Rosella, thanks for the advice I definitely connect well with nature for sure. Get that from Dad. I definitely find a sense of calmness when I just stand and take a look at my yard, the flowers, the leaves and the trees etc... Spent the night here in Mass with my daugher batting down the hatches before the storm. It was nice to have that little time with her. Now just resting before heading off to bed. The dog has already claimed his spot on the bed lol lol as he always does. Mum and Pops are settled in, it was a nice evening. So good night to all my fellow boatmates....... All of you have been a saving grace and thanks for being the wonderful people that each and everyone of you are..
Sweet Dreams to all....
Angie
Mom & I were so tight .. we wore the same clothes ... if I found a decent pair of jeans that fit, I'd but several for both of us.
Same with boots. I still have Dexter & Fryes in my closet which fit us both. We traded off for special ocassions.
I still reach for the phone to share something with her ... we were together or on the phone several times a day. Fun stuff ... laughing ...
I really, REALLY miss her! Especially with all the Dad stuff!
He should have gone first with all his health problems ... we always were concerned about him.
Then BLAM!
Ovarian Cancer -
That was in 97 ...
gotta babysit my 3 grandkids tmr , just for couple hrs they say , ah thats ok , i get all the huggies and kisses and get to play with em , love em and enjoy em for few hrs and then its bye bye come back and see mamaw now ya hear ??? lol .
deefer ,, maybe one of ur siblings sent ya those flowers , apprecating for takin care of thier mom ?? ugh ? man i know its gotta bug the crap outta ya , i would go nuts if someone did that to me ! sure hope u find out asap /
whatever happen to that william guy ? i was enjoying readin what he had to say , busy man , oh he s going to go see rosella ?? lol he said he s going to paris , lalala
xoxo
love,
miz
As bad as Mom is, she remembered that we didn't put flowers on his grave on Memorial day last year. I had just had shoulder. surgery and 22 staples in my skin. I was supposed to wear a sling for 6 weeks, but it was off in 1 week so I could deal with Mom. Only had help from the sibs for 4 days!
Hi Miz, How did your day go? Got my yarn!