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Yo Bobbie! What's the weather doing there? I saw a news clip that some hurricane is raising Caine, but not sure where. Been working in the garage all day. Just see snips of the news when checking on Dad.
When will Nik return? When will your journey North begin? The website (or maybe just me), would like to know!
It's warm & blustery .... too early for the season here in Seattle to become cold. Everything feels sticky. Like what I've heard of the South. I used to waterski late into October. We pretend it rains alot ... this summer proved it. A very odd year ...
Back to the garage & trahing or recyling what I no longer need. What a flipping big chore! I think of your warehouse .... Whew!
nothing in stone so far because still under repairs so we're on island time. just working on the boat and Nik still has responsibilities out west. he'll be here as soon as he can, bless his heart. We talk 4-5 x's a day and laugh pretty hard considering what he's just gone through. He misses his dad so much and his dad was in his right mind right up to about 12 hours before, as he slipped into the coma so how hard is that? Even though he was really sick it would have to feel so sudden. I feel so much for him just like I feel for everybody here on the thread.
Igor is roaring through Bermuda and that's far away from us but we are getting a little wind and a squall every once in awhile. I'm only Captain, not supreme being! so safe at the dock while the sea rages.
Wish I could find the article, Jen. I am suffering, barley paying the bills. I can work, but it's tough.
Bobbie ... I've been facing Nik's stuff for years. Dad has been in comas. hospitals, nursing homes, independent living ... Still pretty bright living with me.
Yesterday morning I checked on him, as I do several times a night. He was sound asleep ... I was scared ... I have found him stoic afer a possible stroke, when my brother's decided he was too sick to go out to lunch & left him ... alone ... Called me to report that Dad wasn't feeling well. Didn't stay with him.
I had that feeeling, rushed to is apt to find him comatose. Non - responsive ... sitting in his chair holding the remote, nose dripping ... Called the aid car. Treid to wake him ... got him breathing & somehow alert. Gently shook him back to life.
The aid guys came right away. Dad came out of where ever he was & responded. They took him away . Another ER trip. SO many ... that episode wasn't a UTI. Hours of waiting they decided he needed to eat.
Fed him a sandwich & releaased him.
Again, a happy event in the ER. He ate, I took im back to his cell (he determined his apartment to be his cell in the "institution").
Why did my brothers leave Dad when he felt faint? Needed help going to his room? Just left him there? Alone! Glad I had my gut feeling & found him.
I don't know if I am ranting or venting. I know Dad is safe in my home now. As awkward as it is for me. I'll never understand my brothers. There must be something among the men in my family that I will never understand.
Sorry for venting ... all the heavy lifting work I've done alone here in the house I keep for Dad & I ~ must have hit a chord. 3 brothers who find no time to help their little sister. That's not how they were raised ... My parent's were the kindest most considerate peole you'd ever know. Why it didn't sink in with them I'll never know. They have their important lives ...
Thanks for listening ... Sir too .... Off to bed ... good night my dear friends
Rip, If you ever find the answer to that question about your brothers,let me know,because for the life of me I can't figure out how my brothers evolved into being selfish self-centered butt-heads.My parents were good people also,they weren't raised to be so uncaring.My dad said only trash would turn-around and sue some-one.They would walk out leaving him laying there sick and helpless.They are not the two boys the neighbors remember,they think something happened to change their souls.It bothers the hell out of me,I wish I would stop thinking about it,just wish I knew what ever happened to their heart to make it so black.
Hello everybody. This is a very interesting question. I guess that the influence of the family upon an individual is important, but it is not 100%. Your parents can bring you up to be a good person, and you behave well until you grow up- Then, when you are an adult, your real nature comes up, and if you are a selfish person inside, you start to behave as selfish. It is so difficult to understand how a person can change when he grows up. My brother was really sweet until let's say he was 30 years old. Then he started to work for a company which put him under an enormous pressure and he changed.... He is not sweet anymore! He is sweet just with the members of his own family. To the rest of the world he is stiff and unforgiving. Who knows what happened in your brothers life which changed them and made them the people that you do not know anymore! It hurts very much, but I guess we have to accept it and stop wondering why. We can't do anything about it. I talked to my brother a million times in the last years, telling him how I felt. The result was zip, so I have stopped! I know my mother is completely on my shoulders and I know that if she dies before me, I can't expect an help from him at any possible level when I will be completely alone. This is a given! Jojo.... Good luck! I hope you get every possible help, at least until you feel better. Think of hiring an extra person! 'nite everybody
I think men are emotional cripples! When they can't face it they walk away. Again, this is a generalization and I apologize to the men that are strong enough to handle the job as caregivers. Men for whatever reason cannot deal with the emotional & nuturing roll of caregiver. THey can do physical labor till they fall down, but clean up s==t and they become useless.
I think we can all relate to feeling very alone and deserted by family members. Their lives are much more important than ours. Oh my, they "have" to have dinner with friends. THey have to have drinks with friends. They have to go to a show. When was they last time we had those opportunities. Hell, we don't even know what it is like to go to the toilet with out rushing because sure as hell, that is when mom/dad needs help. THey don't know the feeling of being trapped at home because you need to grocery shop and mom/dad can't go but you can't leave them alone. They don't know that your back is killing you from lifting and pulling up your parents but don't even have help to try get to the doctor to get some help for yourself. Or you spend so much time at doctor appointments for mom/dad that you can't even get time to care for yourself. I know I am ranting and rambling but sometimes it just pours out. I feel your pain my friends and we will just have to be here for each other for support. Just remember, karma will come back to bite them in the ass
Diane, You just expressed what all of us are going through! I have a couple sibs that I say could not have been raised in the same house, because of who they are now! But I remember all the years they were here with the rest of us. I don't know what happened to them, but they always come first above all else. Of course both of them are much younger than me, and grew up in a different time with us older sibs making it easier for them than things were for us. But still... Rip, I don't think any of my sibs, bad as some are, would have walked out if Mom was in the condition your father was. That's bordering on criminal! Sorry that had to happen, but at least you know where they stand. Bobbie, Hope you and Nik hook up soon. It would be nice to have him on the boat to help you. Tenn, hope you can resolve the brother issues. It's horrible to think they can be like that. Rossella, Mom is very lucky to have you, otherwise she would be lost. Gross for the day. Mom had a chili dog for supper last night. First she took a bite out of the middle, then one from each end. She had chili running down to her elbows by the time she was done! What a mess! But she sure enjoyed that chili dog. I need to get her a bib with a trough at the bottom, and long plastic sleeves, but I'm sure she'd still manage to get the food everywhere! Hope you all have a peaceful day! Kathy
ah ... back on my friendly computer with my friendly friends! Was going at it early this morning. Doing all sorts of things waiting for Dad to wake.
I installed a motion sensor light switch at the bottom of the stairs last year. Love it. I was carrying a basket of laundry down this morning & noticed it wasn't working. Hadn';t been for a few days. Grabbed a step ladder, swapped out the bulbs - new ones didn't work. Thought the switch was screwy so I pulled off the plate, undid the two ganger & saw that everything was still hooked up properly. Bad switch already?
Went to grab a backup when it finally occurred to me to check the mid stair switch. Sure enough! My special friend had turned it off when he left the other day. Flipped it on & everything worked! Rescrewed everything & realized I had wasted an hour.
Frightens me when my common sense brain cells don't function ...
Back to the brothers 3. They all are really pretty nice guys ... well, except the attorney. Money, women & possessions rule his life. Wants to be a hero.
All are oblivious in so many ways. The twins, the ones that wandered off when Dad was feeling faint, have always lived in their own little world. Dad says I was born with more common sense than all of them combined. They drift around not paying attention things & people around them.
Academic. Highly educated. Odd .... I'm seven years behind them. Been given "advice" my entire life. But do they ever listen to me? HA!
I'm like you Tenny. I try not to think about the way they've ignored me & everything I've done for both parents. Your brother sounds down right awful.
Back to life as i know it. Dad is up & well, watching Topper on TV, munching his graham crackers. Lets see what else & can screw up today!
This just came in. Had to share with you: Fw. This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".
So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their daddies are.
They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My dogs get their first checks on Friday. Man, this is a great country!
Dogs welfare? That seems wonderful. Last year I spent 100 times as much money on medical expense for one single dog than for my mother. My mother is insurance covered, my dog isn't. Thinking of the fact that we are no more free to go to the bathroom and read a book on the WC, spend 1 hour in a bubbling bath, spend half an hour for the make-up.... and so on and so on, I started to think of all the things I can't do anymore. 1) I can't leave sugar, candies, chocolate, anything sweet on the kitchen table - my mother eats it all 2) I can't leave anything in the car, unless I don't keep it under the seat - my mother takes it all 3) I can't stay half an hour in the supermarket, if my mother is waiting for me in the car (that is, 90% of the times). The supermarket staff call me "the lady who is always running" and many other things. Generally speaking, I can't be careless anymore. Everything must be weighed, thought over, minded about. If I don't do it, dysaster might follow.... (guess what would happen if I forgot to shut the gate which leads to the first floor. My mother would climb the steps and fall down). My head is constantly turning like a chopper's propeller. This is what I miss more about my past life: the chance of relaxing, of letting the world go where it wants to go. I have to control my little world all the time! It's exhausting! Do you have the same feeling?
You said it right! You can't let your guard down a single minute. Your life is no longer yours to just live on a whim. Everything is calculated! I can reallt relate to the grocert store. I call it "speed shopping". I have from 5pm to 6pm to travel home from work and do any errands like grocery shopping, vet appointments and pick-up meds at pharmacy in the one hour. I work 12 miles from home so that give you an idea of how far that one hour goes. I don't regret or begrudge my mother my time, but it would be nice to be able to relax. I am hoping one my brother gets settled he and his wife can help, but right now they are busy trying to get settled.
I ended up taking mom to another doctor today so she could get care for the abcess. The doctor put her on antibiotic and will see her again on Wednesday and decide if she needs to see a surgeon to have it removed. It ticked me off when I called her primary car doctor and he couldn't see her until tomorrow at 4pm. Maybe I am being too impatient, but this really pissed me off.
I'm just having a bad day and I feel generally pissed off with life right now. I know it could be so much worse so I should just shut up and keep a stiff upper lip.
Anyone else feel like they will never get time to shave their legs ever again? Like I said, just not feeling very hopeful right now.
Let me get off of here before I depress everyone else. Take care my dear friends.
I imagine exhausted is sort of the running theme to this life...coming up next is desperate followed by fed up..Then one more day same old routine, if insanity can be considered outline that is...
Week full of dr app here, his not mine.
rip, would they be pure breeds if it was corporate welfare?
Okay Rip, You were joking about the dogs, right? If not, I'm going to sign up my cats!!! Rossella, Diane, Jen, and everybody else, Shave legs, what's that? Even my husband gave up noticing! Although I have Merry for help, and Mom in daycare 18 hours a week, I still have little time for myself. One of my sisters made the crack about me having more time to myself now, to my older sister who lived here with us for 3 weeks this summer. Well the younger got her ears chewed off by the time the older one told her all that I do every day. She shut up really fast after that! I wish all of you could have a Merry, and if there is a daycare near you, you should really see about getting your loved one to go 2 or 3 times a week. It really is a help. I know that after 2 solid years of 24/7 care by myself, nearly did me in, so both of these options are so precious to me. Like Rossella said, you have to "baby proof" every time you leave a room, to stop a potential disaster. Rip, don't cha love fixing something only to find out it didn't need to be fixed. Got to love it!
i call myself baby proofing the stove, by taking off the knobs off i find out she can turn it on with her hands, i was wondering why she was not making a fuss about not being able to turn it on. one day i ask how did you cook that she told me on the stove, i ask how did you turn it on, with my hand stupid . LOL
BGB, your grandmother (right?) is a genius! She probably asks herself why on earth you had to take off the knobs. She probably thinks you are weird! Jsome: Metallica against Hawaiian,,,, It must be interesting to be in your house, now. Will he react raising the volume??? Diane, vent as much as you want! That's what we all do without remorse. Rip, how many more days will you work in your garage? Do you want to transform it into Plaza Hotel? Deefer and Miz: Let's make a list of all the things that we cannot do anymore! Cocaine is close to me, purring like hell. She smells good. She smells of baked bread.
Hey Rossella, sometimes I play Mozart...I just grab something fast on Youtube to block out the endless playing of the same five records over and over and over and over....I play it just enough so i don't hear his music I don't do dueling stereos...
Hey I AM baking bread right now..We forgot to pick up bread so I am baking a loaf of whole wheat...CLEO is by me on moms bed snoozing...
BGB, Mom is also able to turn on the stove with her fingers too! She can't remember how to dress, or feed herself, but she can sure figure out how to get in trouble real easy! Jen I'll be right over for some of that bread! I can almost smell it all the way over here. Diane, don't worry about venting. It's something we all understand. Rossella, hope Mom is feeling much better. Angie, How was your weekend away?
Still running the chinese laundry and it is 8:45pm and have about 3 more loads to go. Between loads I'm watching Dancing with the Stars.
Rosella, Jen and I were dreaming of visiting you in Italy. That must be why I decided to cook Shrimp Scampi tonight. A wonderful glass of wine would be the icing on the cake.
Jen, I used to bake all the time. Baking bread is very relaxing. Good stress buster.
Deefer, I shouldn't complain since I usually have at least 10 hours a day out of the house, Monday thru Friday. I've been doing this with out family help for about three years and I guess today was just one of those "poor me" days. Just reading everyones comments really does help to make you feel good knowing there are others that understand.
Miz, where are you? I haven't seen anything from you today.
HI All, well i got 12 hrs away...... 12 is better than nothing right. So from now, i have learned that i will just pay someone to be here once a month when i need my respite time. Dad decided to try to get out of bed himself and yes mom had the emt's here to pick him up, so now i need to get the full bed rails for his bed, he has the half ones right now. So instead of going away, we went to the sail boat in the afternoon, took a nice walk on the beach, had a late dinner , couple of martini's and got the call from mom at 10 sunday morning. have not had a chance to catch up with the posts, but i hope everyone is doing well, will be back later, oh yeah and of course i sprained my wrist when i was taking the ac unite out of the windows, in some serious pain .... I think a stiff and dirty martini will do the trick lol loll;; hope everyones weekend was uneventful and the parents behaved...... lol hugs to all be back later ... angie
Hey everyone,as ya''ll all know now I took care of my mate,who died in my arms with bladder-lung-brain cancer.Then we moved in full time with my dad who became bedridden shortly after Jeffs death,took care of him,wiping butts and fighting lawyers all at the same time.My dad passed away holding my hand.That stuff is hard and comforting all at the same time.Human services called me the day my father died,about 3 hours before.I was reported-I bet ya'll know by who.I explained to them about the lawsuit and my brothers being unhappy I received the farm,I explain my dad was in the dying process and I needed to get back to him.When I mention lawsuit,she said ohhhhhhhhhh.I THINK she got it. He died about 3 hours after that call.My brothers actually tried to get my only child put in foster care.He thought if he could seperate me from my child I would go crazy and kill myself and then he could take the whole farm with no problem.Thank GOD for understanding women. I lost the farm because I ran out of cash ,never got to court-feeding my child in very important to me.Trying to put all of the crap out of my mind.Now I have a brand new dragon to fight---Whoopee.This dragon is also taking advantage of a situation.This dragon is not a lawyer or a District Attorney,but is worth about 300 million dollars,but yet SHE, YES ITS A SHE THIS TIME,is trying to take advantage of us because she can.I had to waste another day at lawyers office with no results.Tomorrow I have a appointment with a mean ass-hole of a lawyer .The last one lost 400 acres 45 fish ponds,my dads home,5 rental houses and what was left of my greenhouses,before I quit to take care of people.[not letting him lose anything elese for me.] I am hoping with the right lawyer the buzzards will leave us alone.This time I am going to play by their rules.I will keep ya'll inform of the end results. I am really tired of not having control of my life-the caregiving I don't regret-it almost killed me,but I don't regret it,It was the right thing to do-the lawyer mess is needless,costly,unsatisfying and a bunch of shit and I am very tired of it.
I'm fighting my demons and trying to stay out of the dark side. I tried to lower my meds but I got angry when I did and so I guess I have to accept that I must stay on the full dosage. It affects my memory and that makes work more stressful. I don't think I could quit work now even though hubby said at the beginning, if you don't like it you can quit. We need the money too bad. I have another iron in the fire and we will see how that pans out. No pun intended. ;) I need the boat so damn bad. (pardon my French.) I gotta figure out how to get a break.
Rip, your post about the dogs was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. Hubby laughed too.
Gotta go finish getting Mom ready for bed and then hit the hay. Her blood sugar has been really low in the mornings lately. I have her eat stuff before bed cause I'm scared she'll have an attack as she sleeps. I'll check back later. And know that even if I don't respond to the posts, I am here with all of you. Lots of love!!
Do any of yall deal with OCD? I do and have for a very long time. It's like if I don't kiss my mom twice on the forehead in the right way when I put her to bed that she'll die in the night. Or if I don't lock the side door just right, something bad will happen. My shrink tells me that's OCD. I'm like, no shit, how do I stop? (I think that in my head, I don't actually say it.) I know what it is. It's so stressful and tiring.
tennessee, my heart goes out to you and all the troubles you are and have gone through. Bless your heart. It's terrible!!
AAAUUUGGHH, tennessee! I'm so sorry that you're having to go through more junk! Bunch of leaches! Hubby told me this afternoon that life is like Morton salt...when it rains, it pours!
I'm sorry, but I don't remember who it was (and I can't go back noe to look) but you were apologizing for venting...please don't! That's what we're here for!!! I think it may have been Diane??
Angie, I'm glad that you got 12 hours respite! You gotta have some you time! Plan something fun for your next time.
Rossella, glad that you're getting some more help!
Rip, MAN, I am SO sorry that you had to go through that with your brothers about your Dad! I agree that was almost criminal!!! On a lighter note, I LOVED the dog story! Reckon we could get them on food stamps too? lol
Shaved legs?? What's that?!?! Mine are so bad I'd have to bush hog them!!! lol
I'm not to the point of having to child proof the house yet, except making sure that there's nothing for him to trip over, etc., but there's still much to remember...even simple things like making sure that we have straws at home & I have to carry some everywhere in case we're somewhere that they don't have any...IE: dinner at church, my Mother's house, etc. I know that's just a little thing to have to remember, but it's one of what? a hundred? or more? Little things still tend to muddle the mind! Mine feels like mud!!!
Rip & Diane, I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you this evening! Everything just broke loose at one time. I had a call from the nurse at the Health Dept. & went through the whole thing AGAIN from the beginning. She's got to see if she can get in touch with the hospital tomorrow to see what she can find out. She did tell me that if she did find out that she didn't know if she'd be able to tell me the results on the phone either! For those of you who don't know what's going on...I called the hospital today to get the results of the urine culture & after getting transfered SEVERAL times FINALLY got to the right dept. just to be told that they couldn't give me any results over the phone & that I'd have to come in sign a release & show my drivers license to get the results. OR they could mail me the release form & I could mail that along with a copy of my DL back to them & then they would in turn mail me the results. I told here that I could be dead before then! I understand HIPPA regs, but get real. I told here I wasn't trying to get the results of an Aids test, just whether or not I'm taking the correct antiiotic! There's GOT to be a better way...Set up a PIN for the patients so they can call to get test results...DUH!!! I know they're just covering their rears, but there's gotta be a better way! Anyway, still not better...still wondering if it's the Wellbutrin causing the problem...and I gotta wait til tomorrow to maybe find out something...Tired of feeling like crap! Appt with the Wellbutrin witch doctor tomorrow...If you don't hear from me for 5-10 years, you'll know I'm in jail! LOL
Hugs to you all!!! Rest well shipmates! thinkoftheboat... Thanks again, Bobbie!!!
Miz, I understand what you're saying & it seems that it's getting worse more than better! I have to tell like my hubby, my Mother, etc. that I love them so that'll be THE last thing that they ever hear me say if I were to die before I saw them again! Stuff just has to FEEL right or I have to go back & do it again, too! Bad, huh?? Have you noticed how much we all have in common??
I've wondered, too it AC has had to hire someone just to monitor our thread?? LOL
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What's the weather doing there? I saw a news clip that some hurricane is raising Caine, but not sure where. Been working in the garage all day. Just see snips of the news when checking on Dad.
When will Nik return? When will your journey North begin? The website (or maybe just me), would like to know!
It's warm & blustery .... too early for the season here in Seattle to become cold. Everything feels sticky. Like what I've heard of the South.
I used to waterski late into October. We pretend it rains alot ... this summer proved it. A very odd year ...
Back to the garage & trahing or recyling what I no longer need. What a flipping big chore! I think of your warehouse .... Whew!
Cheers ~
sometime the Stich,
Rip
Sir & pets!
nothing in stone so far because still under repairs so we're on island time.
just working on the boat and Nik still has responsibilities out west. he'll be here as soon as he can, bless his heart. We talk 4-5 x's a day and laugh pretty hard considering what he's just gone through. He misses his dad so much and his dad was in his right mind right up to about 12 hours before, as he slipped into the coma so how hard is that?
Even though he was really sick it would have to feel so sudden. I feel so much for him just like I feel for everybody here on the thread.
Igor is roaring through Bermuda and that's far away from us but we are getting a little wind and a squall every once in awhile.
I'm only Captain, not supreme being! so safe at the dock while the sea rages.
lovbob
Does anyone recall the article with the link about Medicaid spend downs and paying caregivers? I can't find it..?
Bobbie ... I've been facing Nik's stuff for years. Dad has been in comas. hospitals, nursing homes, independent living ...
Still pretty bright living with me.
Yesterday morning I checked on him, as I do several times a night. He was sound asleep ... I was scared ...
I have found him stoic afer a possible stroke, when my brother's decided he was too sick to go out to lunch & left him ... alone ...
Called me to report that Dad wasn't feeling well. Didn't stay with him.
I had that feeeling, rushed to is apt to find him comatose. Non - responsive ... sitting in his chair holding the remote, nose dripping ...
Called the aid car.
Treid to wake him ... got him breathing & somehow alert. Gently shook him back to life.
The aid guys came right away. Dad came out of where ever he was & responded. They took him away .
Another ER trip.
SO many ... that episode wasn't a UTI. Hours of waiting they decided he needed to eat.
Fed him a sandwich & releaased him.
Again, a happy event in the ER. He ate, I took im back to his cell (he determined his apartment to be his cell in the "institution").
Why did my brothers leave Dad when he felt faint? Needed help going to his room? Just left him there? Alone!
Glad I had my gut feeling & found him.
I don't know if I am ranting or venting. I know Dad is safe in my home now. As awkward as it is for me.
I'll never understand my brothers.
There must be something among the men in my family that I will never understand.
Sorry for venting ... all the heavy lifting work I've done alone here in the house I keep for Dad & I ~ must have hit a chord. 3 brothers who find no time to help their little sister. That's not how they were raised ... My parent's were the kindest most considerate peole you'd ever know.
Why it didn't sink in with them I'll never know.
They have their important lives ...
Thanks for listening ...
Sir too ....
Off to bed ...
good night my dear friends
My brother was really sweet until let's say he was 30 years old. Then he started to work for a company which put him under an enormous pressure and he changed.... He is not sweet anymore! He is sweet just with the members of his own family. To the rest of the world he is stiff and unforgiving. Who knows what happened in your brothers life which changed them and made them the people that you do not know anymore! It hurts very much, but I guess we have to accept it and stop wondering why. We can't do anything about it. I talked to my brother a million times in the last years, telling him how I felt. The result was zip, so I have stopped! I know my mother is completely on my shoulders and I know that if she dies before me, I can't expect an help from him at any possible level when I will be completely alone. This is a given!
Jojo.... Good luck! I hope you get every possible help, at least until you feel better. Think of hiring an extra person!
'nite everybody
I think men are emotional cripples! When they can't face it they walk away. Again, this is a generalization and I apologize to the men that are strong enough to handle the job as caregivers. Men for whatever reason cannot deal with the emotional & nuturing roll of caregiver. THey can do physical labor till they fall down, but clean up s==t and they become useless.
I think we can all relate to feeling very alone and deserted by family members. Their lives are much more important than ours. Oh my, they "have" to have dinner with friends. THey have to have drinks with friends. They have to go to a show. When was they last time we had those opportunities. Hell, we don't even know what it is like to go to the toilet with out rushing because sure as hell, that is when mom/dad needs help. THey don't know the feeling of being trapped at home because you need to grocery shop and mom/dad can't go but you can't leave them alone. They don't know that your back is killing you from lifting and pulling up your parents but don't even have help to try get to the doctor to get some help for yourself. Or you spend so much time at doctor appointments for mom/dad that you can't even get time to care for yourself. I know I am ranting and rambling but sometimes it just pours out. I feel your pain my friends and we will just have to be here for each other for support. Just remember, karma will come back to bite them in the ass
Love to you all and big hugs.
Diane
Of course both of them are much younger than me, and grew up in a different time with us older sibs making it easier for them than things were for us. But still...
Rip, I don't think any of my sibs, bad as some are, would have walked out if Mom was in the condition your father was. That's bordering on criminal! Sorry that had to happen, but at least you know where they stand.
Bobbie, Hope you and Nik hook up soon. It would be nice to have him on the boat to help you.
Tenn, hope you can resolve the brother issues. It's horrible to think they can be like that.
Rossella, Mom is very lucky to have you, otherwise she would be lost.
Gross for the day. Mom had a chili dog for supper last night. First she took a bite out of the middle, then one from each end. She had chili running down to her elbows by the time she was done! What a mess! But she sure enjoyed that chili dog. I need to get her a bib with a trough at the bottom, and long plastic sleeves, but I'm sure she'd still manage to get the food everywhere!
Hope you all have a peaceful day! Kathy
Was going at it early this morning. Doing all sorts of things waiting for Dad to wake.
I installed a motion sensor light switch at the bottom of the stairs last year. Love it. I was carrying a basket of laundry down this morning & noticed it wasn't working. Hadn';t been for a few days. Grabbed a step ladder, swapped out the bulbs - new ones didn't work. Thought the switch was screwy so I pulled off the plate, undid the two ganger & saw that everything was still hooked up properly.
Bad switch already?
Went to grab a backup when it finally occurred to me to check the mid stair switch. Sure enough! My special friend had turned it off when he left the other day. Flipped it on & everything worked! Rescrewed everything & realized I had wasted an hour.
Frightens me when my common sense brain cells don't function ...
Back to the brothers 3. They all are really pretty nice guys ... well, except the attorney. Money, women & possessions rule his life. Wants to be a hero.
All are oblivious in so many ways. The twins, the ones that wandered off when Dad was feeling faint, have always lived in their own little world. Dad says I was born with more common sense than all of them combined. They drift around not paying attention things & people around them.
Academic. Highly educated. Odd .... I'm seven years behind them. Been given "advice" my entire life. But do they ever listen to me? HA!
I'm like you Tenny. I try not to think about the way they've ignored me & everything I've done for both parents. Your brother sounds down right awful.
Back to life as i know it. Dad is up & well, watching Topper on TV, munching his graham crackers.
Lets see what else & can screw up today!
Had to share with you:
Fw.
This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first
the
lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".
So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed color,
unemployed, lazy,
can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their
daddies are.
They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and
medical care.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to
qualify.
My dogs get their first checks on Friday.
Man, this is a great country!
Thinking of the fact that we are no more free to go to the bathroom and read a book on the WC, spend 1 hour in a bubbling bath, spend half an hour for the make-up.... and so on and so on, I started to think of all the things I can't do anymore.
1) I can't leave sugar, candies, chocolate, anything sweet on the kitchen table - my mother eats it all
2) I can't leave anything in the car, unless I don't keep it under the seat - my mother takes it all
3) I can't stay half an hour in the supermarket, if my mother is waiting for me in the car (that is, 90% of the times). The supermarket staff call me "the lady who is always running"
and many other things. Generally speaking, I can't be careless anymore. Everything must be weighed, thought over, minded about. If I don't do it, dysaster might follow.... (guess what would happen if I forgot to shut the gate which leads to the first floor. My mother would climb the steps and fall down). My head is constantly turning like a chopper's propeller. This is what I miss more about my past life: the chance of relaxing, of letting the world go where it wants to go. I have to control my little world all the time! It's exhausting! Do you have the same feeling?
You said it right! You can't let your guard down a single minute. Your life is no longer yours to just live on a whim. Everything is calculated! I can reallt relate to the grocert store. I call it "speed shopping". I have from 5pm to 6pm to travel home from work and do any errands like grocery shopping, vet appointments and pick-up meds at pharmacy in the one hour. I work 12 miles from home so that give you an idea of how far that one hour goes. I don't regret or begrudge my mother my time, but it would be nice to be able to relax. I am hoping one my brother gets settled he and his wife can help, but right now they are busy trying to get settled.
I ended up taking mom to another doctor today so she could get care for the abcess. The doctor put her on antibiotic and will see her again on Wednesday and decide if she needs to see a surgeon to have it removed. It ticked me off when I called her primary car doctor and he couldn't see her until tomorrow at 4pm. Maybe I am being too impatient, but this really pissed me off.
I'm just having a bad day and I feel generally pissed off with life right now. I know it could be so much worse so I should just shut up and keep a stiff upper lip.
Anyone else feel like they will never get time to shave their legs ever again? Like I said, just not feeling very hopeful right now.
Let me get off of here before I depress everyone else. Take care my dear friends.
Diane
Week full of dr app here, his not mine.
rip, would they be pure breeds if it was corporate welfare?
Rossella, Diane, Jen, and everybody else, Shave legs, what's that? Even my husband gave up noticing! Although I have Merry for help, and Mom in daycare 18 hours a week, I still have little time for myself. One of my sisters made the crack about me having more time to myself now, to my older sister who lived here with us for 3 weeks this summer. Well the younger got her ears chewed off by the time the older one told her all that I do every day. She shut up really fast after that! I wish all of you could have a Merry, and if there is a daycare near you, you should really see about getting your loved one to go 2 or 3 times a week. It really is a help. I know that after 2 solid years of 24/7 care by myself, nearly did me in, so both of these options are so precious to me.
Like Rossella said, you have to "baby proof" every time you leave a room, to stop a potential disaster.
Rip, don't cha love fixing something only to find out it didn't need to be fixed. Got to love it!
Jsome: Metallica against Hawaiian,,,, It must be interesting to be in your house, now. Will he react raising the volume???
Diane, vent as much as you want! That's what we all do without remorse.
Rip, how many more days will you work in your garage? Do you want to transform it into Plaza Hotel?
Deefer and Miz: Let's make a list of all the things that we cannot do anymore!
Cocaine is close to me, purring like hell. She smells good. She smells of baked bread.
Hey I AM baking bread right now..We forgot to pick up bread so I am baking a loaf of whole wheat...CLEO is by me on moms bed snoozing...
Jen I'll be right over for some of that bread! I can almost smell it all the way over here.
Diane, don't worry about venting. It's something we all understand.
Rossella, hope Mom is feeling much better.
Angie, How was your weekend away?
Still running the chinese laundry and it is 8:45pm and have about 3 more loads to go. Between loads I'm watching Dancing with the Stars.
Rosella, Jen and I were dreaming of visiting you in Italy. That must be why I decided to cook Shrimp Scampi tonight. A wonderful glass of wine would be the icing on the cake.
Jen, I used to bake all the time. Baking bread is very relaxing. Good stress buster.
Deefer, I shouldn't complain since I usually have at least 10 hours a day out of the house, Monday thru Friday. I've been doing this with out family help for about three years and I guess today was just one of those "poor me" days. Just reading everyones comments really does help to make you feel good knowing there are others that understand.
Miz, where are you? I haven't seen anything from you today.
Have a good night and rest well.
Diane
Shrimp Scampi I have never ACTUALLY had but I have had a cream cheese dip flavored like it and that was excellent?
all launried out here for oh i don't know two whole days maybe??..
getting cold here too, and dark in the mornings at 5:30, winter isa coming to Spokane...
I'm fighting my demons and trying to stay out of the dark side. I tried to lower my meds but I got angry when I did and so I guess I have to accept that I must stay on the full dosage. It affects my memory and that makes work more stressful. I don't think I could quit work now even though hubby said at the beginning, if you don't like it you can quit. We need the money too bad. I have another iron in the fire and we will see how that pans out. No pun intended. ;) I need the boat so damn bad. (pardon my French.) I gotta figure out how to get a break.
Rip, your post about the dogs was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. Hubby laughed too.
Gotta go finish getting Mom ready for bed and then hit the hay. Her blood sugar has been really low in the mornings lately. I have her eat stuff before bed cause I'm scared she'll have an attack as she sleeps. I'll check back later. And know that even if I don't respond to the posts, I am here with all of you. Lots of love!!
love,
miz
tennessee, my heart goes out to you and all the troubles you are and have gone through. Bless your heart. It's terrible!!
I'm sorry, but I don't remember who it was (and I can't go back noe to look) but you were apologizing for venting...please don't! That's what we're here for!!! I think it may have been Diane??
Angie, I'm glad that you got 12 hours respite! You gotta have some you time! Plan something fun for your next time.
Rossella, glad that you're getting some more help!
Rip, MAN, I am SO sorry that you had to go through that with your brothers about your Dad! I agree that was almost criminal!!! On a lighter note, I LOVED the dog story! Reckon we could get them on food stamps too? lol
Shaved legs?? What's that?!?! Mine are so bad I'd have to bush hog them!!! lol
I'm not to the point of having to child proof the house yet, except making sure that there's nothing for him to trip over, etc., but there's still much to remember...even simple things like making sure that we have straws at home & I have to carry some everywhere in case we're somewhere that they don't have any...IE: dinner at church, my Mother's house, etc. I know that's just a little thing to have to remember, but it's one of what? a hundred? or more? Little things still tend to muddle the mind! Mine feels like mud!!!
Rip & Diane, I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you this evening! Everything just broke loose at one time. I had a call from the nurse at the Health Dept. & went through the whole thing AGAIN from the beginning. She's got to see if she can get in touch with the hospital tomorrow to see what she can find out. She did tell me that if she did find out that she didn't know if she'd be able to tell me the results on the phone either! For those of you who don't know what's going on...I called the hospital today to get the results of the urine culture & after getting transfered SEVERAL times FINALLY got to the right dept. just to be told that they couldn't give me any results over the phone & that I'd have to come in sign a release & show my drivers license to get the results. OR they could mail me the release form & I could mail that along with a copy of my DL back to them & then they would in turn mail me the results. I told here that I could be dead before then! I understand HIPPA regs, but get real. I told here I wasn't trying to get the results of an Aids test, just whether or not I'm taking the correct antiiotic! There's GOT to be a better way...Set up a PIN for the patients so they can call to get test results...DUH!!! I know they're just covering their rears, but there's gotta be a better way! Anyway, still not better...still wondering if it's the Wellbutrin causing the problem...and I gotta wait til tomorrow to maybe find out something...Tired of feeling like crap! Appt with the Wellbutrin witch doctor tomorrow...If you don't hear from me for 5-10 years, you'll know I'm in jail! LOL
Hugs to you all!!! Rest well shipmates! thinkoftheboat...
Thanks again, Bobbie!!!
I've wondered, too it AC has had to hire someone just to monitor our thread?? LOL
Good night all! Rest well!