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welp had supper and am going for a walk now , alone with my dog sheba , :-) wish i knew where ure at ted , we d go for a walk together . maybe get lost along the way and alberto come find us , lol ....
YES!!! St. Francis is a big hit in the US! Everywhere!
Last night ~ OK ... early sleepless morning starting at 2 AM ~
I watched 3 epispodes of Pit Boss recorded from Animal Planet! Great show about a little guy who rescues Pit Bulls in LA while running a Little Person's (People's?) talent agency. He has St Francis statues in his office, cars & boat ... everywhere!
A great show! Is it in Italy yet? Watch it on AP!
The guy has a real human history. Was in prison for 10 years after an abusive childhood, gang life & what occurred with it. He has made his life happen! A hero! Little rough, but solid & caring for both people & animals.
Rossella, I agree with Linda! What English errors? I always forget when I write to you - that English is your second language! Lady ... You have mastered it! Better than most of us ... well, at least me. My spelling stinks since I started making signs. I'll look at a word & try to make it graphically interesting ... & forget about the spelling!
One of my collegues made a Public Library sign that was up for months. "Pubic Library" Now, that is an error! 'Or a typo ..., now that we all use computers & my keyboarding stinks, i must really watch it .... as you've seen from my formerly correct spelling years ago to what I pass on to you these days ... we are all human. even tho our cats may be aliens ....
Golden Child has arrived & I thought it was going pretty good until I got a call from my sister, next door, that just called & told me that while she was at her house a few minutes ago that my daughter told her that I needed to do more house work & I needed to vacuum! I asked her if she had told her that she came about 3 hours early...before I had a chance to vacuum. My daughter did ask me if I wanted her to vacuum, but they'd just got here & I told her I would do it later. Cheeses me that she went & told my sister though!!! My sister told me that she didn't want to get into it with me, but if I wanted them to stay more than just tonight that I had to vacuum! GGRRRrrrrr!!! Bet she didn't get it that I have an inside dog that does shed. Guess I'd better get off from here & get my chores done before I get put in time out! lol
Thanks for letting me vent! Hope y'all will have a great evening!
Pubic Library...them r downtown and those books ain't free.....An they probably mostly piture books anyway....EW
Crappy here but glad to know Miz wandering cat came home!
Was gonn a have a nice day and watch DVDs from library (Public) with mom but fart pants came in and is moaning constantly... mom just asked if he was in bad pain...No MA that's what he does, when he has nothing to say but must keep making noise he moans and umm hmmms constantly!!!!I left the room making a Broccoli casserole...Ma he isn't gonna stop it is his manner....deal...
ouch ! GP . that hurts my feelings she had the nerve to say something like that . i am so sorry . i hope once its swept she be satisfied , what about dust ? lol my house is loaded with dust ! i wish my cat would do a better job sweepin dust off but he s not ! i dont sweep everyday , i do it when i see it needs it , but i do clean when i know i have company over , it gives me burst of enegry when i know someones comin and i totaly try to clean . so thats understandable . think my sister in law is comin over tmr and i do need to clean , thought she was comin over last friday and i r ealy bust my ass cleaning and she didnt come ! so saturday i just laid around and today i did laundry and dishes and wood oh yes plus takin care of dad , does that count ? well tmr i l just do dishes and say heck with everything eles , sis in law is not picky anyway .. i hope u do have a good visit with ur daughter and enjoy with ur grandaughter , tonite is D/H and brothers and sisters , love those shows . you guys have a wonderful evening . xoxo
J , aint men nasty ! they fart and burp and blech , moan groan , ah hell theyre big babies . BABY HUEY is what i call my dad . im hopin my husband doesnt do that when he gets old old . yuk . went thru that with dad and i dont know if i can put up with another one . maybe i better start training him manners now . maybe yet i ll be doing that too . lol . i just ingore dad when he does that . sometimes i cant tell if he s realy chokin or faking ? id say oh my gosh pa u ok ? then he stop and says yes im ok , then goes back to coughin and gagging . ah ok he s fakin . so amazing how loud they can be , ATTENTION . lol
Rip: Linda: Thanks. I guess it is my work which makes me too fussy about mistakes. GP: We have to sing a song: "We all have a OCD, we all have a OCD!" I have an OCD about plastic containers in the fridge, your sister and daughter have a dust OCD. Does not matter. Don't worry. Is your sister older than you? If she is, everything is clear to me!!! Pubic library? I wonder too, what kind of books they have. There is a supermarket chain here which is called "Conad" and I hear people which call it "Gonad"... (let's go shopping to Gonad!)
L, I think you are right, some how I can't see (or hear) my grandmother doing that..Just a guy thing taking up space being disgusting disregarding others....
Thanks Rossella! Yes, my sister is 14 years older than I am. Also not my favorite person! You just think I'm opinionated...she wrote the book!
Found out a little while ago that my daugher has asked that same sister to come here to babysit my granddaughter instead of at her house next door...what am I...chopped liver?!?! I don't want to have to babysit my sister for the next 4 days!!! For some reason my daughter is still manipulating the situation & doesn't want just me to watch my granddaughter. She said that she's not going to be backed into a corner about it. I just don't understand it! I'm trying to make the best of it because I really want to rebuild a relationship with my daughter & want to have one with my granddaughter. Your prayers are appreciated!!!
Rossella, I also know who St. Fransis is. We have his prayer framed & in our bedroom. "Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace..." Beautifully done! We also sang it when I was in the choir in high school. Not so beautifully done...lol
Thanks for letting me vent! I'm po'ed & hurt & it helped to get it off my chest! Thanks for always listening!
Anyone on here know about selling realestate. Can a real estate agent make up lies to help sell property.Can they list realestate without the deed being legal.
Georgia,how old is your daughter and granddaughter?Is it possible she thinks you have your hands to full to baby sit.I hope you get some quality time with your granddaughter-grandmothers can be such a blessing and asset in a kids life. I always thought my grandmother hung the moon.Praying for you.
I can see and understand from some of the ladies low view some have of men and I can see how you have drawn that conclusion. I'm sorry that's the case for not all men are sorry. However, my MIL thinks all men are bad and should be enslaved like she did her husband. People are people, some belch, some act like babies, some smell, some love to see how loud they can be and various other nasty habits and behaviors.
Hey Crow,hows' it going? I think the ladies are venting and relieving stress,wouldn't take it too personal.I for one have had a lot of good guys in my life. The brothers are the exception.
I understand the venting, but that's not a good button for me. I've been doing ok. We only have one more year left to complete of my mother and step-dad's past due taxes and then to '09 which now past the extension date is behind. But, hey, we have been working from 2004 since 2009 and the records have not been easy to fine. Personally, these last two or so months of therapy have been rough because of the flashbacks which have been flying in my head and filling in so much of those years before my junior year in high school which have always been such a blur. The toughest aspects of these flashbacks are the emotional memories connected with them. The good side of this is that my wife and feel closer to each other as I'm working through this painful stuff. Those suppressed memories make me feel that I am definitely ready for mom to die. I have a friend who when he brought his mom to his home started having flash backs about a lot of bad childhood stuff that took place with both his mom and his aunt back in W.Va. My mother is basically the same and my step-dad is quickly going down hill. Too bad that right at the time my therapist and I were really making progress about my anger toward my mom mainly and some toward my dad that these memories come along, but they have to be deal with two. I've been able to connect some dots which show me that her sister is just as sick in relating with her boys as a single parent as my mother was with me as an only child while she was an only parent which continued after she got married again. Getting married to my step-dad was merely an escape ticket.
Dear Georgia, I am sorry. I hope that you understand the reason of all these mysteries! I am sorry that this 4 days-visit can't be peaceful and serene as a 4-days visit should be! Crowe, it was just a joke. When I say sometimes that I want to kill my mother, all the animals and myself, I do not mean it. We say many strange things here.
Well, I've been in a very serious mode over the past two months or so and have not been sleeping well at all. I'm not joking when I say that I am ready for my mother to just go ahead and die right now or at least soon! With the recent flashbacks going off in my head, I recently wrote that I deserve for her to die. My wife knows why and we are feeling much closer to each other as I work through this, but it is hell otherwise. I learned a long time ago as a child to swallow my feelings and those years that I've been remembering from basically have been a blur my entire life which makes sense as well.
I think that you are just going through a necessary phase of your revisiting your relationship with your mother. When it will be over, you will feel much better and free. My psychiatrist told me that it's like opening a tap which has been closed for a long time. Once you open the tap, a lot of rusty water comes out, but after a while, water becomes clear... I am sure it is the same with you. I have been there (and periodically I still go there!) and I know it's quite hard while you are in it, but if you get used to let your feelings out, you realize that you can deal with almost everything... I don't know what your mother did, but whatever she did, I am sure that you are strong enough to go on with your life! If you say that her sister had problems with her children, too, probably it means that both of them were not raised on solid ground... Sorry I tend to psychanalize everybody, but I am not tender with myself either, believe me!
I am donating my old car and it is being picked up today and I am sad it is 14 years old and really undrivable but will miss seeing it on my lawn while I was going through the process 5 people came along who wanted to buy it but had already promised it to the Arthrities Foundation.
Oh my goodness. I just wrote a very long message, thought I sent it, and it's not showing up. Oh that's so frustrating!! Now I'm tired. LOL Did anyone get it?
Let's try this again. Good Morning, Everyone. Yep, our happy little family is together again. Thanks again for all the prayers and good thoughts.
Rossella, I think you're right. I would imagine with all the ghost kitties and prayers and telepathy, all of your good thoughts and our numerous tears that Sandy was given a gentle or a strong push home. I am so grateful. I don't think he would run away. He loves us too much...and our bed. Sandy has a chip but no collar. Hubby doesn't think he would keep it on. Rip, your collars sound awesome. Maybe hubby would be up for trying it. Rossella, what an awesome story about Alberto. Truly awesome.
Linda, what kind of a dog do you have? How old is she?
GP, I'm so sorry your family is treating you that way. After everything you have gone through, it's just wrong and terrible.
tennessee, I don't know much about real estate but that stuff sure sounds illegal to me.
Austin, you're an angel for donating your car. :)
Mom doesn't seem to be feeling well today. Her sugar level is fine and she's not too warm to the touch. She stayed in bed for her breakfast and coffee. Only ate her sweet roll and a little of her cereal. I gave her a Ho Ho just to keep her sugar up. Hopefully she'll get up pretty soon. I gotta go change her. Love you all.
Mom was 29 and I was 3 when she divorced dad. We moved home to live with her mother and aunt. She loved calling me her little man. Mom did not want me raised like the all American boy that my dad had in mind. She tried her best to keep him from visiting me and when that failed she decided to poison my mind against him. According to my dad, mom wanted to raise me on a pink pillow which I would say was rather accurate. I often felt like mom was trying her best to shape me internally like a girl. Memories of her saying this to me and how it felt have been part of my of my flashbacks as well. I've often wondered what it would be like to be a girl. The best thing I can say about that is I became a very nurturing parent. Friends, therapists and SIL have all told me that I've functioned much more like a wife and mother in my own marriage.
Mom's dad died after 2 years and suddenly my additional title went from "mommy's little man' to 'the little man of the house." My mom used me to meet her emotional needs without meeting mine which decades later she admitted. My wife and I have concluded that my mother never met my dad's nor my step-dad's emotional needs. Twenty years ago, my mother told me that she knew how she raised me was going to cause me a lot of pain in life, that it was wrong, but she could not help it. I was not sure how to take that statement, but on the surface it sounded full of it.
Around age 8 or so, I felt like I was more than just her son and often slept with her in her bed even when I was 11. She constantly told me that I would always be her little man which was a bunch of hocus pocus setting me up for a trap like a mouse because she made me more of a substitute spouse after I hit puberty at age 10 which is what all my horrible flash backs have been about. This week I wrote a song ""Mamas don't raise up your sons to be substitute spouses."
Frankly, my mother lacked the ability to form an intimate relationship with an adult. Her mother never met her or her sister's emotional needs, plus their dad was an alcoholic. My mom married again for the sake of an escape ticket, but his being an alcoholic meant she could continue being very intrusive, possessive, absorbing and sexually abusive of me. She never accepted his children fully and did not want me to get close to them.
Thank God my mom never had me completely to herself during those 8 years of a single parent or I would have never been able to get away from her powerful ability to control. However, those times she did get me completely alone after she married again were not always nice memories of which the most vivid and complete one was of me at 13 and her at 39 two years after she had married my step-dad when we were visiting back in her home town. Other alone with just mom memories are from times at the beach house when it was just us.
When at home, my mom would just barge in my bedroom in her shear nighty with no bra on just to remind me up close and personal that I was still her little man. Bull, I was nothing more than a play toy. I would protest that she was married again, but no it was like being married to her, I was her little man for she was in control. She had trained me to swallow my own feelings, to focus on her needs, and to believe my job was to make her happy and if she was not happy, it was all my fault.
Thank God, I got to attend college 333 miles away from home so that I could start to free myself. At that same time my mother went to live almost the whole year at the beach house like she was putting her marriage to my step dad on the shelf and only came home when I was there to visit. She maintained that lifestyle until she had her first seizure around 69.
A few years ago, her sister showed me a video that her three grown sons had made for her in which they placed their mom's face on these skimpily clad Playboy photos, nude Playboy cartoons, and the front of some Playboy mags which playing the song "You are a brick house" closing with all three saying together 'you are a brick house mommy, we love you' My aunt thought that was a great video ending which they had added to her retirement video several years ago. Recently though, they made a family history one which included their grandparents, them as young boys over the years, of there mom down through the years and once again did the 'brick house playboy theme with new photos.
Compared to my mom, my aunt has always had the thicker blouse, but for her to like this and for her to tell me that I could make the same sort of video for my mother is sick. All of this leads me to believe that she was no different with her three boys in making them substitute spouses as a single parent than my mom. My mom and my aunt are very much alike and they both married alcoholic men like their dads, but what they did to us boys was bad. My therapist thinks that mom's sickness is such that even if I had been born a girl, which is what she really wanted and told me as well, that my experience with my mom as a son probably would not have been much different as a girl.
You can see now, possibly, why I am ready for her to die. It's not hard at all for me to spot not only a child from a broken home, but also a son whose being made into their mom's partner either as a single parent or as a parent is a poor marriage.
A friend of mine who is a Vietnam Vet has had trouble with flash backs ever sense. When his mother was no longer able to live by herself in W.Va., he brought her to live with him here in NC. She died 2 months ago. He told me that having his mother in the house caused flashbacks about sexual abuse which he had already told me some about. He said that where he lived in W.Va. there was a saying that "you either got mommy or you got mommicked"
Working through all of this has helped me to work more on my own sense of identity which was so engulfed in mom. Very often after a therapy session, my wife and I have a spontaneous deep conversation that somehow ties in and we feel much closer to each other. I shared part of my new song with her last week. While she already knew some, she did not know the extent that my mother was all wrapped up in me. My wife is glad that I getting freedom and says she feels much closer to me as well.
Sorry to hear that your 14 year old car became undrivable. Our youngest son is driving our 13 year old LeSabre which I bought 5 years ago from the family of an elderly lady going into a rest home. Then, it had 53,000 miles and now it has close to 115,000. The last LeSabre I owned had 226,000 miles on it when hit by a dear and the car was 16 years old. I hope you find yourself a good working car.
WOW, The damaged caring for the damagers. So many of us spend our entire lives overcoming our childhood. I pray GOD to help us in our quests for wholeness in an insane world. We have enough of a battle with the lies of the evil one without an additional horrid reality. GOD protect us from our loved ones and all others that would wish to destroy us. Glory to GOD that HE grant us peace and balance in the midst of our storms. GP, Hope you can resolve any issues with your family members. When did your daughter leave home? How is it that she feels entitled to invite others to your home without asking you first? How is it that she thinks she can be in charge of your housekeeping duties? Are you sure your sister is not manipulating the situation? Is your sister counting on the fact that you and your daughter don't communicate well and doing her own damage to the relationship? I would be asking some questions of both of them, and if I didn't get the answers I wanted they would both be out on their butts! They invited themselves to YOUR home & are now disrespecting you? Ooooh I'd be pi**ed! Sorry, but I care about you & I'm protective of those I care for. I get angry when my loved ones are walked on. You have enough on your plate without this! Tenn, There is a "disclosure" statement that must be filled out when a piece of real estate is up for sale. No they cannot lie if they wish to keep their license. If the deed is in question the real estate cannot be sold.
GOD is my vindicator, my shield and my buckler. Woe to them by whom the offence comes to HIS children!!!!!!!!! HIS blessings to all who serve HIM. My prayers for all of you.
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wish i knew where ure at ted , we d go for a walk together . maybe get lost along the way and alberto come find us , lol ....
Last night ~ OK ... early sleepless morning starting at 2 AM ~
I watched 3 epispodes of Pit Boss recorded from Animal Planet!
Great show about a little guy who rescues Pit Bulls in LA while running a Little Person's (People's?) talent agency.
He has St Francis statues in his office, cars & boat ... everywhere!
A great show! Is it in Italy yet? Watch it on AP!
The guy has a real human history. Was in prison for 10 years after an abusive childhood, gang life & what occurred with it. He has made his life happen! A hero! Little rough, but solid & caring for both people & animals.
Rossella, I agree with Linda! What English errors?
I always forget when I write to you - that English is your second language!
Lady ... You have mastered it! Better than most of us ... well, at least me.
My spelling stinks since I started making signs. I'll look at a word & try to make it graphically interesting ... & forget about the spelling!
One of my collegues made a Public Library sign that was up for months.
"Pubic Library"
Now, that is an error!
'Or a typo ..., now that we all use computers & my keyboarding stinks, i must really watch it ....
as you've seen from my formerly correct spelling years ago to what I pass on to you these days ... we are all human.
even tho our cats may be aliens ....
Miz, SSSOOOOO glad that Sandy's back!!! YEAH!!!
Golden Child has arrived & I thought it was going pretty good until I got a call from my sister, next door, that just called & told me that while she was at her house a few minutes ago that my daughter told her that I needed to do more house work & I needed to vacuum! I asked her if she had told her that she came about 3 hours early...before I had a chance to vacuum. My daughter did ask me if I wanted her to vacuum, but they'd just got here & I told her I would do it later. Cheeses me that she went & told my sister though!!! My sister told me that she didn't want to get into it with me, but if I wanted them to stay more than just tonight that I had to vacuum! GGRRRrrrrr!!! Bet she didn't get it that I have an inside dog that does shed. Guess I'd better get off from here & get my chores done before I get put in time out! lol
Thanks for letting me vent!
Hope y'all will have a great evening!
Crappy here but glad to know Miz wandering cat came home!
Was gonn a have a nice day and watch DVDs from library (Public) with mom but fart pants came in and is moaning constantly... mom just asked if he was in bad pain...No MA that's what he does, when he has nothing to say but must keep making noise he moans and umm hmmms constantly!!!!I left the room making a Broccoli casserole...Ma he isn't gonna stop it is his manner....deal...
think my sister in law is comin over tmr and i do need to clean , thought she was comin over last friday and i r ealy bust my ass cleaning and she didnt come ! so saturday i just laid around and today i did laundry and dishes and wood oh yes plus takin care of dad , does that count ? well tmr i l just do dishes and say heck with everything eles ,
sis in law is not picky anyway ..
i hope u do have a good visit with ur daughter and enjoy with ur grandaughter ,
tonite is D/H and brothers and sisters , love those shows .
you guys have a wonderful evening . xoxo
im hopin my husband doesnt do that when he gets old old . yuk . went thru that with dad and i dont know if i can put up with another one . maybe i better start training him manners now .
maybe yet i ll be doing that too . lol .
i just ingore dad when he does that . sometimes i cant tell if he s realy chokin or faking ? id say oh my gosh pa u ok ? then he stop and says yes im ok , then goes back to coughin and gagging . ah ok he s fakin . so amazing how loud they can be , ATTENTION . lol
GP: We have to sing a song: "We all have a OCD, we all have a OCD!" I have an OCD about plastic containers in the fridge, your sister and daughter have a dust OCD. Does not matter. Don't worry. Is your sister older than you? If she is, everything is clear to me!!!
Pubic library? I wonder too, what kind of books they have. There is a supermarket chain here which is called "Conad" and I hear people which call it "Gonad"... (let's go shopping to Gonad!)
Found out a little while ago that my daugher has asked that same sister to come here to babysit my granddaughter instead of at her house next door...what am I...chopped liver?!?! I don't want to have to babysit my sister for the next 4 days!!! For some reason my daughter is still manipulating the situation & doesn't want just me to watch my granddaughter. She said that she's not going to be backed into a corner about it. I just don't understand it! I'm trying to make the best of it because I really want to rebuild a relationship with my daughter & want to have one with my granddaughter. Your prayers are appreciated!!!
Rossella, I also know who St. Fransis is. We have his prayer framed & in our bedroom. "Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace..." Beautifully done! We also sang it when I was in the choir in high school. Not so beautifully done...lol
Thanks for letting me vent! I'm po'ed & hurt & it helped to get it off my chest! Thanks for always listening!
Love & hugs to everyone! Goodnight!
Crowe, it was just a joke. When I say sometimes that I want to kill my mother, all the animals and myself, I do not mean it.
We say many strange things here.
I don't know what your mother did, but whatever she did, I am sure that you are strong enough to go on with your life! If you say that her sister had problems with her children, too, probably it means that both of them were not raised on solid ground...
Sorry I tend to psychanalize everybody, but I am not tender with myself either, believe me!
love,
miz
Rossella, I think you're right. I would imagine with all the ghost kitties and prayers and telepathy, all of your good thoughts and our numerous tears that Sandy was given a gentle or a strong push home. I am so grateful. I don't think he would run away. He loves us too much...and our bed. Sandy has a chip but no collar. Hubby doesn't think he would keep it on. Rip, your collars sound awesome. Maybe hubby would be up for trying it. Rossella, what an awesome story about Alberto. Truly awesome.
Linda, what kind of a dog do you have? How old is she?
GP, I'm so sorry your family is treating you that way. After everything you have gone through, it's just wrong and terrible.
tennessee, I don't know much about real estate but that stuff sure sounds illegal to me.
Austin, you're an angel for donating your car. :)
Mom doesn't seem to be feeling well today. Her sugar level is fine and she's not too warm to the touch. She stayed in bed for her breakfast and coffee. Only ate her sweet roll and a little of her cereal. I gave her a Ho Ho just to keep her sugar up. Hopefully she'll get up pretty soon. I gotta go change her. Love you all.
love,
miz
me her little man. Mom did not want me raised like the all American boy that my dad had in mind. She tried her best
to keep him from visiting me and when that failed she decided to poison my mind against him. According to my dad,
mom wanted to raise me on a pink pillow which I would say was rather accurate. I often felt like mom was trying her
best to shape me internally like a girl. Memories of her saying this to me and how it felt have been part of my of my flashbacks as well. I've often wondered what it would be like to be a girl. The best thing I can say about that is I became a very nurturing parent. Friends, therapists and SIL have all told me that I've functioned much more like a wife and mother in my own marriage.
Mom's dad died after 2 years and suddenly my additional title went from "mommy's little man' to 'the little man of the house." My mom used me to meet her emotional needs without meeting mine which decades later she admitted. My wife and I have concluded that my mother never met my dad's nor my step-dad's emotional needs. Twenty years ago, my mother told me that she knew how she raised me was going to cause me a lot of pain in life, that it was wrong, but she could not help it. I was not sure how to take that statement, but on the surface it sounded full of it.
Around age 8 or so, I felt like I was more than just her son and often slept with her in her bed even when I was 11. She constantly told me that I would always be her little man which was a bunch of hocus pocus setting me up for a trap like a mouse because she made me more of a substitute spouse after I hit puberty at age 10 which is what all my horrible flash backs have been about. This week
I wrote a song ""Mamas don't raise up your sons to be substitute spouses."
Frankly, my mother lacked the ability to form an intimate relationship with an adult. Her mother never met her or her sister's emotional needs, plus their dad was an alcoholic. My mom married again for the sake of an escape ticket, but his being an alcoholic meant she could continue being very intrusive, possessive, absorbing and sexually abusive of me. She never accepted his children fully and did not want me to get close to them.
Thank God my mom never had me completely to herself during those 8 years of a single parent or I would have never been able to get away from her powerful ability to control. However, those times she did get me completely alone after she married again were not always nice memories of which the most vivid and complete one was of me at 13 and her at 39 two years after she had married my step-dad when we were visiting back in her home town. Other alone with just mom memories are from times at the beach house when it was just us.
When at home, my mom would just barge in my bedroom in her shear nighty with no bra on just to remind me up close and personal that I was still her little man. Bull, I was nothing more than a play toy. I would protest that she was married again, but no it was like being married to her, I was her little man for she was in control. She had trained me to swallow my own feelings, to focus on her needs, and to believe my job was to make her happy and if she was not happy, it was all my fault.
Thank God, I got to attend college 333 miles away from home so that I could start to free myself. At that same time my mother went to live almost the whole year at the beach house like she was putting her marriage to my step dad on the shelf and only came home when I was there to visit. She maintained that lifestyle until she had her first seizure around 69.
A few years ago, her sister showed me a video that her three grown sons had made for her in which they placed their mom's face on these skimpily clad Playboy photos, nude Playboy cartoons, and the front of some Playboy mags which playing the song "You are a brick house" closing with all three saying together 'you are a brick house mommy, we love you' My aunt thought that was a great video ending which they had added to her retirement video several years ago. Recently though, they made a family history one which included their grandparents, them as young boys over the years, of there mom down through the years and once again did the 'brick house playboy theme with new photos.
Compared to my mom, my aunt has always had the thicker blouse, but for her to like this and for her to tell me that I could make the same sort of video for my mother is sick. All of this leads me to believe that she was no different
with her three boys in making them substitute spouses as a single parent than my mom. My mom and my aunt are
very much alike and they both married alcoholic men like their dads, but what they did to us boys was bad. My
therapist thinks that mom's sickness is such that even if I had been born a girl, which is what she really wanted
and told me as well, that my experience with my mom as a son probably would not have been much different as a girl.
You can see now, possibly, why I am ready for her to die. It's not hard at all for me to spot not only a child from a
broken home, but also a son whose being made into their mom's partner either as a single parent or as a parent is a
poor marriage.
A friend of mine who is a Vietnam Vet has had trouble with flash backs ever sense. When his mother was no longer able to live by herself in W.Va., he brought her to live with him here in NC. She died 2 months ago. He told me that having his
mother in the house caused flashbacks about sexual abuse which he had already told me some about. He said that where he lived in W.Va. there was a saying that "you either got mommy or you got mommicked"
Working through all of this has helped me to work more on my own sense of identity which was so engulfed in mom. Very often after a therapy session, my wife and I have a spontaneous deep conversation that somehow ties in and we feel much closer to each other. I shared part of my new song with her last week. While she already knew some, she did not know the extent that my mother was all wrapped up in me. My wife is glad that I getting freedom and says she feels much closer to me as well.
Sorry to hear that your 14 year old car became undrivable. Our youngest son is driving our 13 year old LeSabre which I bought 5 years ago from the family of an elderly lady going into a rest home. Then, it had 53,000 miles and now it has close to 115,000. The last LeSabre I owned had 226,000 miles on it when hit by a dear and the car was 16 years old. I hope you find yourself a good working car.
I pray GOD to help us in our quests for wholeness in an insane world. We have enough of a battle with the lies of the evil one without an additional horrid reality. GOD protect us from our loved ones and all others that would wish to destroy us. Glory to GOD that HE grant us peace and balance in the midst of our storms.
GP, Hope you can resolve any issues with your family members. When did your daughter leave home? How is it that she feels entitled to invite others to your home without asking you first? How is it that she thinks she can be in charge of your housekeeping duties? Are you sure your sister is not manipulating the situation? Is your sister counting on the fact that you and your daughter don't communicate well and doing her own damage to the relationship?
I would be asking some questions of both of them, and if I didn't get the answers I wanted they would both be out on their butts! They invited themselves to YOUR home & are now disrespecting you? Ooooh I'd be pi**ed!
Sorry, but I care about you & I'm protective of those I care for. I get angry when my loved ones are walked on. You have enough on your plate without this!
Tenn, There is a "disclosure" statement that must be filled out when a piece of real estate is up for sale. No they cannot lie if they wish to keep their license. If the deed is in question the real estate cannot be sold.
GOD is my vindicator, my shield and my buckler. Woe to them by whom the offence comes to HIS children!!!!!!!!!
HIS blessings to all who serve HIM.
My prayers for all of you.