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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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On a completely different note, I just found out that on top of hiding hundreds of thousands of dollars of dad's money from the estate, My Sister, as Executrix, has been filing wrongful death, pain and suffering suits on behalf of the estate, and NOT INFORMING ME- AN EQUAL BENEFICIARY- ABOUT THEM OR PAYING ME MY SHARE OF THE PROCEEDS!
I wish you well in cleaning this mess up. I'm glad the song was helpful. I'm going to edit it and probably add to it some more since it's a song version of one of my writings or I should say therapy movie scripts that I make for my therapist almost each week. As you can see, the song is far too hard hitting to post here.
Thanks, it is a mess. Nothing to do now except scrape together the money for my own lawyer, unless my brother wants to share one, and put it all in his hands. It turns out my father was also making monthly payments in my name to an account that my sister claims no knowledge of.
The evil one was well and very much in charge when us WW2 kids were young anything went and you kept things from getting out and many of those parents pat themselves on the back for bringing up good kids-once my Mom told my aunt-I guess I did all right you turned out all right didn't you my mouth fell open I was speechless-my sister and I finally talked about it not long ago and she was treated as a princess compared to me-no wonder I thought I deserved the treatment I got for years.
My mom apologized to me once years ago. It was done in a manner which would get the proper response. I blew it off & told her what a great mom she had been.....in some ways she had been, but in many ways she and dad were not good parents. They had their own neurosies & naturally imposed them on my brother & I. That's why we each moved out at such an early age....neither of us could stand it any longer. But that is in the past & other than my not-so-good social skills I've overcome much of the damage. That is what being an adult is about. Bitterness can eat you up & I'm doing my best to get rid of it. If we want peace we have to forgive & forgive & forgive. The "greatest generation" is/was not all that. They had/have plenty of flaws & did plenty of damage. I don't intend to follow in their footsteps. I intend to be better. I do NOT believe life is cheap or that other folks are only here to be taken advantage of.
Rosella, I am not Catholic but love St Francis. He truely was a saint & we could all follow his example. I have a copy of a book by 15th century monks titled "The Immitation of Christ" which is my second favorite book. The newer additions are not as good, but I have one published by Franciscan monks in the 1950s. It is AWESOME!!!! Really puts things into the proper perspective.
So glad to hear im not alone! My Mom has many undesirable habbits and I find myself wishing she would just go away! One icky thing is since she can't see very well and is legally blind one MUST inspect every dish, glass or silverware BEFORE you use it. She trys hard to be competent and helpful, but most of the time the item is dirty, and we just have to reclean it. Her dog is her baby and it sheds ALOT, she trys to vacume but the hair is so thick and she can't see so unless I break out the vacume the carpet is blonde! And she thinks food is a great reward for anyone, I grew up this way and I am overweight and not in too good of health myself, one would think she would take note and not do the same thing to her dog, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO if the dog wants it, the dog gets it. Issue is she is very overweight and is supposed to only eat "special prescribed foods" due to having stones in her bladder removed a few years ago.....I don't know how many times I have had to tell her to stop feeding the dog and that she is going to kill the dog, but Noooooooo, turn your back for a sec and she sneeks the dog the food. You catch her in the act and she denies it or changes the subject and acts dumb! Ya know I think sharing this can help us cope, but I am really looking for a way to not let this get under my skin! One moment I can laugh, the next minute I can become so frustrated! How do YOU cope?!
My Mom does NOTHING around the house, except every now and then she gets on a dish washing kick and yes, I always have to rewash the entire load. I try to tell her not to bother because water where we live is so expensive, but that just makes her do it more.
I live in a small coastal North Carolina tourist town. It would cost me more per hour than I could make working if I were to hire a sitter for her, and she would hate it and make everything even more difficult. Arg.
Arg is right! I'm so lucky to have a content & lucid dad who cares about me. I really miss working tho ... Are you able to leave the house often, or is it too risky? I break out for groceries & the ocfcassional walk in the woods, but other than those few hours a a week I hate leaving him alone. He becomes frustrated if he can't work the TV or razor ... little things really are a huge issue for him.
Oh I just thought of one more thing when reading your posts Ted...My Mom will sometimes hang up the clothes I left in the dryer...seems like a nice thing to do, and is much appreciated, however everytime I let her do that my clothes are covered in Blonde dog hair!. Nothing worse than putting on a dark blue uniform and have it covered in dog hair! The grossest part is if she is covered in it and my rugs, so is her bedroom, clothes, everything she touches gets hair on it! Once she does go, Im going to have to have the house defurred EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! My dog is fluffy, but don't leave tons of hair everywhere like her dog! I don't like to sound so bitchy, but when Im not feeling good it is hard to not let her discusting habbits bother me!
hcary ! welcome to this area . have ya thought about shaving the dog ? lol . i have to sweep every other day cuz of my long hair white cat , the floor will looks like snow if i dont sweep as often . im not a perfect suzy home maker either , but if i see hair believe me the sweeper will come out and suck up anything . yeah mom s gotta do something , beter than sit and do nothing , bless your heart for looking after ur mom . mine passed away 21 yrs ago and i do realy miss her . i have dad here he s 87 yrs old , he s a sweet heart . well sometimes he is , most ofthe time he is . he can be a bear if he wanna . take care !! supper time , woo hoo ...
i had the drama weekend of the century, my husband was out of town. now this is what we try and do if we can help it, one of us will try and be at home with her. while no one could be there with her every moment it became a problem. on saturday i was in and out all day. here's the things, as i came and went, she would say: you back, i would say yah but gotta go again. but when i came home to the last time, she notice i put the car up. then i got. so you decide to bring your A-- home. i'm going to tell your husband you've been running the street. See now i have a problem because now she want to fight with me. that's my reason for thinking a lot of her in Drama and she know what it is shes doing and saying, i'm like you HCAREY whatever you tell her not to do is what she will do. then act just like she don't know what your talking about. anyway continuing with yesterday. Around 4pm she she i'm going to bed. ok, about an hour and half later, i hear this knoking on the wall, i go to see whats going on she in the bed with the remote hitting it on the wall when i ask what is it you need, she can't get out of bed and need my help.i told her you can get up if you really want too. about 15mins. late here she comes walking out the room. she wants attention all the time. she 2years old and theres a new baby in house you would think, i need a break bad, the only break i get is coming to work, i thinking about going to see a friend in Mem.Ten the week before thanksgiving if no one steps up i will be putting her in a respite care, and i don't understand why my heart is so heavy about it. it's all about the what if factor.
Thanks for the warm welcome, I keep hearing from folks how Im such a good daughter for taking her in and all, but I really don't feel like I am the best person for this job. I suffer from depression which has gotten really bad since she moved it, tolerance levels are very low, I love my job and it keeps me somewhat sane at times, but now I don't want to leave! I gotta come to work just to get some rest! Now with a med change to "Help me" cope, im in worse shape, it makes me feel sick and cramps in my lower back don't want to stop, Headache, tired and now my tolerance levels for her issues are drifting away again. We just did a vacation getaway 2 weekends ago and had a really good time with my daughter and mother, but poof that's gone! When I can't be "ON" and happy all the time she starts talking about her abusive ex and her dreams about him stating she would never go back, but at the same time you can tell she is full of it and just wants to manipulate me to take her shopping for shit she already has and dosen't need, nor can she see so shopping is not a fun experience for either one of us. This has been a monthly to every 2 week pattern for almost a year now and a few weeks back I said NO MORE!!! I realize that dementia is a big part, but right now it sure is selective dementia!!! Just got her on the prozac again and started aricept. Went to the doctor for my issues dealing with this, and was hopeful for a little while, but as you can tell.....It's NOT working! Just tell me this.... Is this typical for caregivers and if so why would a person keep doing this? Or is it just me and Im a messed up depressed woman who can't handle being a Mom to her mother???
I like that HCAREY Selective Dementia! that's my grandmother for real. I feel just like you do sometimes if it wasn't for my husband and work bing the buffer. i'd be in a stright jacket.
Hey Lady ~ HC You are so right at home with us!!! Let it out & don't hold bacK! Nothing is typical, yet nothing is off limits. You'll be amazed how many are with you.
You mentioned a dark uniform ... you're lucky to be able to escape to work, for what thats worth. What work do you do? Where in this world are you?
You might be on the street next to me & we'd never know it. Hope you will enjoy all of us & welcome aboard!
"Everybody Farts". Granted. No, I meant it. I came from an abusive background; sexually, physically, mentally, and emotionally family, and am to all unfortunate intents, and lack of purposes still in it. Part of my coping is contempt. I really don't like men much AND have very little reason too. I do know there are lots of decent men out there and not all are the sicko perverted hygienically challenged ones I have know in my pathetic life, and it is stupid to lump any entire group of people together and pass judgment. It is a knee jerk reaction. And the God crap won't work for me personally either, it is amazing how much harm gets through that buckler against innocent and vulnerable children from an all seeing all knowing all controlling God. Everyone has there trouble and it sounds like Crowe got a good whopping dose of warped demented mothering as well. I am sorry for that. I can see where you are coming from now. Lots of people who had really sweet, happy childhoods just don't get it. And now we are care givers for those who inflicted such unkindness and insanity on us when we were most vulnerable. You pass it on or pass it back. I choose not to be the tyrant. But I also choose to be snipping, bitter and full of contempt. Maybe it is harder to serve the food warm when one is so bitterly cold but that is my choice. I too "pray" this all ends soon. And unlike many people, bad news (in regards to him) is good news for me. Here is to "good news".
I work for a large ambulance company and I am their IT lady! Every ambulance has a laptop that connects to the internet and our dispatch center. This is how they get the calls to come pick up patients and how they create a patient care report for the hospitals. I am on call 24/7 and I have to keep them furnished with working laptops, as well as the office folks computers and some other agencys that use our laptop and dispatch system. These devices speed up the response time and tell them how to get to the call as well as capture critical data. Infact Mom fell not that long ago and it was a great feeling to be able to see our technology at work. Mom was ok, and thinks hitting her head is causing her to remember better...but I will say this, we are so lucky to have technology as it is today. We have seen huge improvements from helping people in need, connecting people and alowing us to all share and communicate like never before! BTW I met my current husband of 14 years of marriage on a local computer chat board when a 14.4 modem was high speed! They called those BBS's in those days! Anyone know what I am talking about?! :-)
Nope. Haven't got a clue what you're talking about but I can find my way around basic email and things like this. I think some people just have an understanding of tech and some don't. i was actually a well-employed NYC graphic artist at one time, and had to go into visual merchandising, signage and props when the computers took over and every front desk secratary became an in-house art department.
I wish I knew more about your skill, HC! What an amazing world technology is ~ & you understand it! Hats off to you! How long have you been doing it? Sorry to be nosy .. just interested & impressed!
HA! More similarties Ted! I've run a one lady sign shop for 25 years! Slowed down after the economy tanked & Dad grew frail. I still design & produce ... but not as I'd like to.
My uncle was a Programmer from about 1974 to when all of the sudden you just didn't need them anymore....Lovely. Out you go! He bought a locksmith business and likes it!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I wish you well in cleaning this mess up. I'm glad the song was helpful. I'm going to edit it and probably add to it some more since it's a song version of one of my writings or I should say therapy movie scripts that I make for my therapist almost each week. As you can see, the song is far too hard hitting to post here.
But that is in the past & other than my not-so-good social skills I've overcome much of the damage. That is what being an adult is about.
Bitterness can eat you up & I'm doing my best to get rid of it. If we want peace we have to forgive & forgive & forgive.
The "greatest generation" is/was not all that. They had/have plenty of flaws & did plenty of damage.
I don't intend to follow in their footsteps. I intend to be better.
I do NOT believe life is cheap or that other folks are only here to be taken advantage of.
Rosella, I am not Catholic but love St Francis. He truely was a saint & we could all follow his example. I have a copy of a book by 15th century monks titled "The Immitation of Christ" which is my second favorite book. The newer additions are not as good, but I have one published by Franciscan monks in the 1950s. It is AWESOME!!!! Really puts things into the proper perspective.
Be blessed all!
I'm forever fascinated how similar we all are & how far away we are from each other.
Are you able to work while caring for her?
I'm so lucky to have a content & lucid dad who cares about me. I really miss working tho ...
Are you able to leave the house often, or is it too risky? I break out for groceries & the ocfcassional walk in the woods, but other than those few hours a a week I hate leaving him alone. He becomes frustrated if he can't work the TV or razor ... little things really are a huge issue for him.
To think he was a powerful man once upon a time ~
have ya thought about shaving the dog ? lol .
i have to sweep every other day cuz of my long hair white cat , the floor will looks like snow if i dont sweep as often . im not a perfect suzy home maker either , but if i see hair believe me the sweeper will come out and suck up anything .
yeah mom s gotta do something , beter than sit and do nothing ,
bless your heart for looking after ur mom . mine passed away 21 yrs ago and i do realy miss her . i have dad here he s 87 yrs old , he s a sweet heart . well sometimes he is , most ofthe time he is . he can be a bear if he wanna .
take care !! supper time , woo hoo ...
Whats a girl too do.
Are you on Face Book?
My friends here convinced me to join! It's fun!
Look what you started!!!
Thanks!
What's a girl too do?
HC
You are so right at home with us!!!
Let it out & don't hold bacK!
Nothing is typical, yet nothing is off limits.
You'll be amazed how many are with you.
You mentioned a dark uniform ... you're lucky to be able to escape to work, for what thats worth.
What work do you do? Where in this world are you?
You might be on the street next to me & we'd never know it.
Hope you will enjoy all of us & welcome aboard!
No Rip, i'm not on facebook, that stuff scares me for some reason. Guess i'm just an old man.
you're right ....
what's a girl to do?
I can think of a feew things but it would mean abandoning my ethics & being selfish. Vacation?
Try it ... might like it. You can offer little yet receive alot.
Use a phony name.
We have fun photos ... I like being able to share the animal's pics whom I mention too often.
What an amazing world technology is ~ & you understand it! Hats off to you!
How long have you been doing it?
Sorry to be nosy .. just interested & impressed!
I've run a one lady sign shop for 25 years! Slowed down after the economy tanked & Dad grew frail.
I still design & produce ... but not as I'd like to.
A talented bunch we are!
The recent releases are better than before ~ but with many graphic artists & computer techies ~
We need to create!