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BGB, I feel like we're on the same page...needing a break so bad. It really starts to weigh on you. But the stress and worries of going away are large. I understand. I wish I had the answer. Respite care is a good idea but I have yet to do it. Can't bring myself to I guess. Do it if you can!! You'll be smarter than me for it. :)
BOBBIE-No such thing as a Ex- MARINE thats what he said. He has this 1963 ford tractor that was bought from us in the 70's and it still runs.Doesn't look like it would but it does.He was driving it on down the road-I couldn't help but laugh.Quiet a difference between it and the new John DEEREs.Tough little bougar.If my dad was alive he would have gotten a big kick out out seeing his old Ford Tractor running.
tenn , so good u have a marines next door ! my brother served in marines . they look mean but kind in the heart . brother holds his head up and walks straight . always .. yes ur dad would get a bigkick out of that tractor , bless the marines heart for takin such good care of it . daughter is comin to do her laundry , need togetbusy here before she gets here . have a wonderful day you all . xoxo
Hey guys, today is really tough on me after all that garbage with my sister yesterday. I didn't sleep at all and just feel like everytime I turn away from someone attacking me, there's someone else in the that direction ready to start getting their own licks in. To make a long and ugly story short and ugly, It started with me finally getting the guts to inquire about some paperwork I have that seems to prove I have not recieved my full share of my father's estate from my sister who is executrix. I honestly consider this money mine, and I desperately need it since I can't get any worthwhile employment in this little town with my responsibilities for mom. I didn't mention my situation, but my sister is fully aware of it, and neither my sister nor my brother help in the least, or even bother to call mom if it isn't her birthday. I was deliberately very careful to be polite and not accuse anyone of anything, Her response was rude and ugly and full of lies. When I wrote back to correct the lies and stand my ground, her response was even worse. She ended by saying this; "If you want to get your finances straight I suggest you stop picking the pockets of your siblings, the old, and the dead and get a job. Save the sob story about hard times to somebody who gives a shit. You are pathetic. Please do not contact me again regarding this matter." So. Here I am trying to remind myself that this is all still the right thing to do, that I am not wrong about any of this, and that whatever she thinks of me isn't the issue. to get down to it, what she thinks of me isn't even any of my business. But, of course I still don't have any answers to my legitimate questions concerning my share of the estate, and I feel like a worthless loser on top of it all. Did I mention I haven't slept?
Happy Tues. caregivers!!! Tenn, Bravo for you girl!!! Yes there is no such thing as an ex-Marine. "Once a Marine, Always a Marine!". Semper Fidelis!!! When I was a child (long ago) on my uncle's farm...my uncle had just finished plowing a field & stopped to talk to my mom. I started climbing on the tractor (little monkey that I was). Mom asked my uncle if it was OK for me to be up there & he assured her it was OK & that he had the key.....well while they chatted this silly little monkey climbed up on the engine cover & grabbed onto the stove pipe for support. The amazing thing is that I still have finger prints! LOL. Considering my childhood I sometimes wonder if mom isn't trying to "pay me back" on occassion. Tractor stories... BGB, Since your mom does all to spite you...have you tried reverse phsycology? I tried it with mine & it worked a few times. If you wish her to do something..ask the opposite! The results may amuse you. Please, you need a break & DON'T feel guilty about a little time for yourself. Have a great vaca!!! HC, Welcome. There are times when a vacation can be a tease of freedom & life. When we return to our real life it is dissapointing. Hard to keep in perspective, but please don't allow yourself to be drawn into that mindset. I've been there & found the best way is to be grateful for the time & revisit in my mind, knowing one day I may return. Our cat "Shutup" leaves what my hub calls "fur turds" all over the house. He's a long haired black cat & no matter how often I brush him...You can keep one of those lint pick-up sticky things near your wardrobe & make a habit of swipping as you dress. Your proffession is a noble one and I thank you for being an integral part of our society. Like Rip, I also miss working & try to do something else meaningful when I can. Ted, Defrag mom..LOL. Wish I could defrag myself also!!! I could get rid of some of my flashbacks! Miz, Yes, we cope any way we can. This group is such a HUGE help. Hope Sassy & Sandy are content again. Sandy may have been afraid you might get him surgery also & took off for a while in fear. Never know what they're thinking & it's probably best we don't. Sometimes Shutup gets soooooo angry with me for no reason at all...just wants to shred me! I don't want to know. LOL Bobbie, You are toooooo funny. Rosella, Very profound. Thank you. Have a blessed day all.
Ted, Don't let your sister or anyone else dictate your self worth. How other's see us is NOT who we are! Folks see the world & judge it through their own pain, neurosies & experience. Please get some rest & you can better deal with this problem afterwards. Your current "job" is taking care of your sister's mother!!!!!! She may be feeling a little guilt & lashing out at you because of it. Often people don't want to "feel" anything.....it disrupts their plans for a numb life.
Again I ask ' Why is the one-Not- taking care of the parent the executor?' Sister sounds like my brother in a dress.Charater assasination is part of the tactic.
No, She doesn't have power-of -atty or anything like that with mom. she or brother Haven't seem mom in years, and mom is lucky if she gets two calls ayear from her. I know in my head that her remarks are just designed to hurt me for her own reasons that have nothing to do with me, that they have nothing to do with any reality I'm aware of. And that they are probably caused by sister's guilt, or her own unhappiness or whatever. But they still seem to hit me right in the gut and strike a nerve with my own feelings of how i should be doing better, and that I'm not super-son Blah, Blah, Blah. i am beginning to see how programed I was to be to the sucker and why I tend to be drawn to people that wind up hurting me and taking advantage of me.
i feel that in the last week or so I made some real progress in setting some boundaries about how I will let other people treat me and putting myself first and all that, but today I am really struggling with not letting all this crap set me back.
ted , to hell with everybody , u just focus on urself and ur mom . nobody s wearing your shoes and they have no idea whats going on , my brother in law is stayin at his moms house to care for her . she has alz and is a pain in the butt when she wanna be , i admired him for takin care of her and looking after her cuz without him she for sure would be in a nursing home , i wouldnt be able to care for her plus my dad . she is a hand full and my dad is not . my dad rather sleep and eat . my mother in law loves to walk walk walk walk and get into things and hides them blah blah so forth . i love her with all my heart and i know she cant help it but i dont have the nerve to handle her too long , i say after 3 days im ready for her to go back home . i cant stand it when someone follows me around like a toddler , even tries to follow me in the bathroom ! nexttime ur sister calls u just dont answer the ph or hang up on her . shes not worth it to get u all fired up and hurt and feelin put down . some siblings are better off without us . if shes not the poa or anything thing then she dont need to know anything and has no room to say anything . hang in there TED . just focus on urself and ur mom and US !!! xoxo
Ted, I hope that you'll get everything straightened out very soon! Most of us on this thread understand dealing with underhanded, sneaky, non-helpful siblings! Don't let them run over you! You are an amazing person taking care of your Mom! Remember to take time for YOU! I know that is easier said than done, but we've all gotta do it!
Tenn, YEAH that you're getting some stuff accomplished on your problem! Hope you take her to the cleaners! Keep us posted!
Thanks everybody for all of your suggestions & support, but the visit isn't going too well. My daughter is being very difficult to get along with with everybody, not just me. It HAS to be the way SHE say or else! She has even been so difficult with all of her rules that my sister has already said that she wouldn't do this again. I won't either! If I'd know that she was going to make me have "supervised visitations" with my granddaughter with my sister here I never would have agreed to the visit. She has always been very manipulative & all of this stems back to when she was about 13-14 & she'd want to go places with her friends & for me to just let her out like at the mall on a Friday night & I wouldn't do it. (I was a mall merchant & had a flower shop there & knew stuff that went on at the mall especially on weedend nights that never made it into the newspaper...rapes, etc.) Anyway, she started accusing me of child abuse, which I never did!!! I did spank her, but never beat her like she said! I never left a mark or a bruise or anything. When she ran away & ended up with me agreeing to let her live with her dad, she threatened me with child abuse so I contacted a lawyer. After he questioned me, he told me that apparently I hadn't spanked her as hard as what she thought I had & not to worry about it. I told her that & she dropped the issue, but she's always held a grudge against me since then & uses that as a manipulative ploy to get her way & for her to be in charge. Now she's using my granddaughter! I'm trying to make the best of it in getting to see my granddaughter though! She also has grandparents who are very well off who never liked me...wrong side of the tracks thing versus the country club set...anyway, they've had a lot to do with her attitude after they bought her expensive toys, clothes, several cars, told her that she'd inherate everything when they were gone, etc since she's the only grandchild & they kept telling her that they didn't have a use for me & that I'd ruined her daddy's life...by the way he was an alcoholic before we met, I just didn't realize how bad he was then! Her grandmother would take the clothes back that I could afford from someplace like JC Penney's & buy her the more expensive clothes that she wanted her friends to see her granddaughter in. I could never do anything right or good enough according to them & my daughter feels the same way. Now you understand more of 'the rest of the story'! What's scary is she's the one who'll be picking out my nursing home in the future!
Thanks again for all of your support! Love you guys!
Thanks, and you are absolutely right. If she wasn't the executrix of my late father's estate, I wouldn't have anything to do with her, and from now on, my poor lawyer will have to be the one to deal with her hatefulness.
Does she think I don't WANT to have my own job, my own place, maybe a few lovers, MY OWN LIFE?
I am trying very hard to block it all out, and be "selfish".
i know what you mean about you're MIL, my mom has a perch on the couch from where she just sits and stares at me in whatever room i'm in except the bathroom, where I sometimes go and hide. It especially bugs me when i go out on the porch to sit alone, and she seems to ALWAYS have to follow me out, til I get up to come in, and so does she. Then it's back to the bathroom for me.
I am POA and the only one that will or can do the caregiving. Due to all that dysfunctional crap they put us through. My half sister and brother on my Mom side are crazy or in jail, Sister was molested my My Dad then sent away to live with her dad and the abuse kept going but with him and his friends and my half brother never learned how to read or write and ended up in prison for hauling illeagal aliens accross the border, netither one of them my Mom trusts and she has issues with them. Somehow all this abuse was their fault! Go Figure! and my sister from my dad previous marriage is an alcoholic and almost as crazy as Dad was before he bleed to death from drinking. Supposedly I was the only one not touched, but thats a bit iffy when I did some guided meditation with a doctor, it showed I was. Who knows but I am the only one really that somewhat ok enough for the task. Issue is I don't want to be it! Im not the sweet empathetic daughter I want to be for her cause I too am human and have been affected by all of this. I just seem to be the one who hasen't lost it completly....YET, but I am struggling with it And I want to prevent from completly loosing it! Ted they say it's good to have other family members help you out, but it tends to be they take and take and we are left with all the crap to deal with while they live their own lives.
Ted, & everyone dealing with siblings. I thought that since my brothers have very selective hearing when the internet happened I would send detailed gang emails re Dad. Doctor's visits, changes in meds, just about everything I did for him.
Silly me ... I thought that since they are all college educated & professionals that maybe the written word might carry some weight. Ha! Rarely would I receive a response ~ however I've kept & printed them all throughout the years. It's been a relief to have the documents with time & day stamps, plus relieved me of listening to the nasty phone calls.
It's horrible to be screamed at & hung up on when trying to patiently get a point across.
Ted, hang in their and stand firm. You are doing the right thing and you are taking some control back of your life.
Everyone, I just wanted to let folks know that my therapist thought I summed up and got out the full package of my issues with the song I told you about which with some extra input was made better. He wants a hard copy of my final edited version of "Mommas Don't Raise Up Your Boys to Be Substitute Spouses." He thinks it should be published of course anonymously. I still don't feel overwhelmed by everything and like me shocked by a recent video discovery from my mom's sister's boys that gives stronger evidence to this being a problem of generational incest passed down over the years.
correction I still do feel overwhelmed by everything and like me, my therapist was shocked by a recent video discovery from my mom's sister's boys that gives stronger evidence to this being a problem of generational incest passed down over the years. I'm so messed up today that I've missed appointments except for therapy, not taken any of my meds for a day, a wide range of other mistakes, and probably have an invisible sign on today that probably says "you dare appose me?" like I saw in a cartoon. gggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what I'm feeling is beyond venting and really can't be put into words, I can't even think of what animal sound might fit. Maybe my Lab howling at the fire engines that's probably close.
hey Crow ~ Have you thought about letting it out in cartoon fashion? I know of a guy named Ted who has graphic skills ... I believe you have his email, as he has your song.
Might just help lots of other people hiding out there ...
Did you stop and take your pills? Stop what your doing and put on your favorite artist or favorite song, get something soothing to drink and take a few minutes for yourself. Dang I think I found the right people to talk to, we seem to have a lot in common and deal with similar episodes. If only I could take my own advise, but I guess thats why we have each other here on this support forum! Thank God!!! See Technology is WONDERFUL!!! :-) It's been tough for me too today with Mom and her self medicating her foot...but thats another post! :-)
Ted I am so sorry for all you are going through try not to let your sister get to you don't give her your power-one day she will have to account for her actions. I got a lot of wisdom from reading Dr. Phil's books and watching his show actually was in the nursing home with my late husband when the light bulb went on a lady on the show said I am not going to take ant more and I wispered neither am I that when the process started and by the time my husband died he has lost all his power over me-it took a long time but the first time I said to myself I do not deserve to be treated this way the sky did not fall and it got easier I developed a thick skin and his darts bounced off me.
Rip, don't that the cartoon is such a good idea, what d'ya thing Crowe? HC, Thanks for the hugs! Austin, thank you for you hug and yes I am feeling better! It was a few hours of exhausted misery caused by her pushing old buttons until I realized that those old buttons just ain't connected no more. It was a valiant effort on her part, and I am truly sorry that she is stuck in a place I used to share with her. Goodbye my sister, I wish you well.
Oh, myyyyyyyyyyyy! Dear friends! What a bloody posts! ("bloody": I don't mean "damn", I mean that they bleed!) I'd like to give my comments to you collectively... It seems we all are in the same broth! I am more and more convinced that life is a role game. "They "give us a role that does not belong to us. We are softer, more introspective, more manageable, and our siblings/parents/children, whoever, (shamelessly, I could say) take advantage of us. They entrust us the care of old/sick people and they don't give a damn, they try to get all the money involved (because they think we already take too much....) I speak about "roles" because in their heads we correspond to that role, and they do not even bother to try to "understand" how things really are. We are a bulk of weak people, according to them; we take care of our parents because we don't feel like having a real work; even if we work, our work is never as hard as theirs. They have no time, they are always tired. We have all the time we want! We are never tired! Why should we? We complain all the time and though, we should be happy because we get most of our parents money (in the case of my mother, her retirement allowance). Those people, our relatives, despise us! (not only you, Ted, don't worry) I can't believe what there is in their heads. But they ARE CONVINCED about that. They REALLY THINK THEY ARE RIGHT... They do not even bother to listen to us when we try to explain, to read our mails, to hear our telephone calls. We are not worth their time. Do they have a shadow of a sense of guilt, deep deep down? I don't know, I don't think so. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to allow them to convince us that we correspond to that role. We are not weak, lazy, we are not losers! This is the way they like to think of us. It is just their way of thinking. It must not become ours! Irony, sense of humour, detachment, should be our weapons when they hit hard.... (and they know how to hit!) I could go on for hours but I stop here.
Here's a good laugh... Mom just told me I have to go bra shopping for her tomorrow... I'm a 49 year old Guy...Hope the store clerks have a sense of humor!
Rossella, You Have hit it on the head! I think you know my brother and sister better than I do, at least you can describe better than I can. Thank you for that!
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yes ur dad would get a bigkick out of that tractor , bless the marines heart for takin such good care of it .
daughter is comin to do her laundry , need togetbusy here before she gets here .
have a wonderful day you all . xoxo
I was deliberately very careful to be polite and not accuse anyone of anything, Her response was rude and ugly and full of lies. When I wrote back to correct the lies and stand my ground, her response was even worse. She ended by saying this;
"If you want to get your finances straight I suggest you stop picking the pockets of your siblings, the old, and the dead and get a job. Save the sob story about hard times to somebody who gives a shit. You are pathetic.
Please do not contact me again regarding this matter."
So. Here I am trying to remind myself that this is all still the right thing to do, that I am not wrong about any of this, and that whatever she thinks of me isn't the issue. to get down to it, what she thinks of me isn't even any of my business. But, of course I still don't have any answers to my legitimate questions concerning my share of the estate, and I feel like a worthless loser on top of it all.
Did I mention I haven't slept?
Tenn, Bravo for you girl!!! Yes there is no such thing as an ex-Marine. "Once a Marine, Always a Marine!". Semper Fidelis!!!
When I was a child (long ago) on my uncle's farm...my uncle had just finished plowing a field & stopped to talk to my mom. I started climbing on the tractor (little monkey that I was). Mom asked my uncle if it was OK for me to be up there & he assured her it was OK & that he had the key.....well while they chatted this silly little monkey climbed up on the engine cover & grabbed onto the stove pipe for support. The amazing thing is that I still have finger prints! LOL. Considering my childhood I sometimes wonder if mom isn't trying to "pay me back" on occassion. Tractor stories...
BGB, Since your mom does all to spite you...have you tried reverse phsycology? I tried it with mine & it worked a few times. If you wish her to do something..ask the opposite! The results may amuse you. Please, you need a break & DON'T feel guilty about a little time for yourself. Have a great vaca!!!
HC, Welcome. There are times when a vacation can be a tease of freedom & life. When we return to our real life it is dissapointing. Hard to keep in perspective, but please don't allow yourself to be drawn into that mindset. I've been there & found the best way is to be grateful for the time & revisit in my mind, knowing one day I may return.
Our cat "Shutup" leaves what my hub calls "fur turds" all over the house. He's a long haired black cat & no matter how often I brush him...You can keep one of those lint pick-up sticky things near your wardrobe & make a habit of swipping as you dress.
Your proffession is a noble one and I thank you for being an integral part of our society. Like Rip, I also miss working & try to do something else meaningful when I can.
Ted, Defrag mom..LOL. Wish I could defrag myself also!!! I could get rid of some of my flashbacks!
Miz, Yes, we cope any way we can. This group is such a HUGE help. Hope Sassy & Sandy are content again. Sandy may have been afraid you might get him surgery also & took off for a while in fear. Never know what they're thinking & it's probably best we don't. Sometimes Shutup gets soooooo angry with me for no reason at all...just wants to shred me! I don't want to know. LOL
Bobbie, You are toooooo funny.
Rosella, Very profound. Thank you.
Have a blessed day all.
Your current "job" is taking care of your sister's mother!!!!!! She may be feeling a little guilt & lashing out at you because of it. Often people don't want to "feel" anything.....it disrupts their plans for a numb life.
i am beginning to see how programed I was to be to the sucker and why I tend to be drawn to people that wind up hurting me and taking advantage of me.
my brother in law is stayin at his moms house to care for her . she has alz and is a pain in the butt when she wanna be , i admired him for takin care of her and looking after her cuz without him she for sure would be in a nursing home ,
i wouldnt be able to care for her plus my dad . she is a hand full and my dad is not .
my dad rather sleep and eat . my mother in law loves to walk walk walk walk and get into things and hides them blah blah so forth . i love her with all my heart and i know she cant help it but i dont have the nerve to handle her too long , i say after 3 days im ready for her to go back home . i cant stand it when someone follows me around like a toddler , even tries to follow me in the bathroom !
nexttime ur sister calls u just dont answer the ph or hang up on her . shes not worth it to get u all fired up and hurt and feelin put down . some siblings are better off without us .
if shes not the poa or anything thing then she dont need to know anything and has no room to say anything .
hang in there TED . just focus on urself and ur mom and US !!! xoxo
Tenn, YEAH that you're getting some stuff accomplished on your problem! Hope you take her to the cleaners! Keep us posted!
Thanks everybody for all of your suggestions & support, but the visit isn't going too well. My daughter is being very difficult to get along with with everybody, not just me. It HAS to be the way SHE say or else! She has even been so difficult with all of her rules that my sister has already said that she wouldn't do this again. I won't either! If I'd know that she was going to make me have "supervised visitations" with my granddaughter with my sister here I never would have agreed to the visit. She has always been very manipulative & all of this stems back to when she was about 13-14 & she'd want to go places with her friends & for me to just let her out like at the mall on a Friday night & I wouldn't do it. (I was a mall merchant & had a flower shop there & knew stuff that went on at the mall especially on weedend nights that never made it into the newspaper...rapes, etc.) Anyway, she started accusing me of child abuse, which I never did!!! I did spank her, but never beat her like she said! I never left a mark or a bruise or anything. When she ran away & ended up with me agreeing to let her live with her dad, she threatened me with child abuse so I contacted a lawyer. After he questioned me, he told me that apparently I hadn't spanked her as hard as what she thought I had & not to worry about it. I told her that & she dropped the issue, but she's always held a grudge against me since then & uses that as a manipulative ploy to get her way & for her to be in charge. Now she's using my granddaughter! I'm trying to make the best of it in getting to see my granddaughter though! She also has grandparents who are very well off who never liked me...wrong side of the tracks thing versus the country club set...anyway, they've had a lot to do with her attitude after they bought her expensive toys, clothes, several cars, told her that she'd inherate everything when they were gone, etc since she's the only grandchild & they kept telling her that they didn't have a use for me & that I'd ruined her daddy's life...by the way he was an alcoholic before we met, I just didn't realize how bad he was then! Her grandmother would take the clothes back that I could afford from someplace like JC Penney's & buy her the more expensive clothes that she wanted her friends to see her granddaughter in. I could never do anything right or good enough according to them & my daughter feels the same way. Now you understand more of 'the rest of the story'! What's scary is she's the one who'll be picking out my nursing home in the future!
Thanks again for all of your support! Love you guys!
Does she think I don't WANT to have my own job, my own place, maybe a few lovers, MY OWN LIFE?
I am trying very hard to block it all out, and be "selfish".
i know what you mean about you're MIL, my mom has a perch on the couch from where she just sits and stares at me in whatever room i'm in except the bathroom, where I sometimes go and hide. It especially bugs me when i go out on the porch to sit alone, and she seems to ALWAYS have to follow me out, til I get up to come in, and so does she. Then it's back to the bathroom for me.
Ted they say it's good to have other family members help you out, but it tends to be they take and take and we are left with all the crap to deal with while they live their own lives.
I thought that since my brothers have very selective hearing when the internet happened I would send detailed gang emails re Dad. Doctor's visits, changes in meds, just about everything I did for him.
Silly me ... I thought that since they are all college educated & professionals that maybe the written word might carry some weight.
Ha! Rarely would I receive a response ~ however I've kept & printed them all throughout the years.
It's been a relief to have the documents with time & day stamps, plus relieved me of listening to the nasty phone calls.
It's horrible to be screamed at & hung up on when trying to patiently get a point across.
Everyone, I just wanted to let folks know that my therapist thought I summed up and got out the full package of my issues with the song I told you about which with some extra input was made better. He wants a hard copy of my final edited version of "Mommas Don't Raise Up Your Boys to Be Substitute Spouses." He thinks it should be published of course anonymously. I still don't feel overwhelmed by everything and like me shocked by a recent video discovery from my mom's sister's boys that gives stronger evidence to this being a problem of generational incest passed down over the years.
Have you thought about letting it out in cartoon fashion?
I know of a guy named Ted who has graphic skills ...
I believe you have his email, as he has your song.
Might just help lots of other people hiding out there ...
Did you stop and take your pills? Stop what your doing and put on your favorite artist or favorite song, get something soothing to drink and take a few minutes for yourself. Dang I think I found the right people to talk to, we seem to have a lot in common and deal with similar episodes. If only I could take my own advise, but I guess thats why we have each other here on this support forum! Thank God!!! See Technology is WONDERFUL!!! :-)
It's been tough for me too today with Mom and her self medicating her foot...but thats another post! :-)
Glad you are among us!
HC, Thanks for the hugs!
Austin, thank you for you hug and yes I am feeling better! It was a few hours of exhausted misery caused by her pushing old buttons until I realized that those old buttons just ain't connected no more. It was a valiant effort on her part, and I am truly sorry that she is stuck in a place I used to share with her.
Goodbye my sister, I wish you well.
I'd like to give my comments to you collectively... It seems we all are in the same broth!
I am more and more convinced that life is a role game. "They "give us a role that does not belong to us. We are softer, more introspective, more manageable, and our siblings/parents/children, whoever, (shamelessly, I could say) take advantage of us. They entrust us the care of old/sick people and they don't give a damn, they try to get all the money involved (because they think we already take too much....)
I speak about "roles" because in their heads we correspond to that role, and they do not even bother to try to "understand" how things really are.
We are a bulk of weak people, according to them; we take care of our parents because we don't feel like having a real work; even if we work, our work is never as hard as theirs. They have no time, they are always tired. We have all the time we want! We are never tired! Why should we? We complain all the time and though, we should be happy because we get most of our parents money (in the case of my mother, her retirement allowance). Those people, our relatives, despise us! (not only you, Ted, don't worry) I can't believe what there is in their heads. But they ARE CONVINCED about that. They REALLY THINK THEY ARE RIGHT... They do not even bother to listen to us when we try to explain, to read our mails, to hear our telephone calls. We are not worth their time.
Do they have a shadow of a sense of guilt, deep deep down?
I don't know, I don't think so.
The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to allow them to convince us that we correspond to that role. We are not weak, lazy, we are not losers! This is the way they like to think of us. It is just their way of thinking. It must not become ours!
Irony, sense of humour, detachment, should be our weapons when they hit hard.... (and they know how to hit!)
I could go on for hours but I stop here.
Imagine it in ink!
You are so right on!
How do we publish you?
It's a matter of time before more thousands of "children" will be dealing with the same thing we are,