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Grandpa has bruised ribs from doing something stupid, Tylenol and time all to do. Canceled Adult day Health, less friction the better...I don't care. who cares why care..... .It is what It is till it isn't anymore..ii think I'd jump off that boat right now.
Rip I read the Twilight series. It is sort of pre teen to teen based romance novel, The old Romeo and Juliet thing. Well written, fun bit dopey but I see why it has gone insane like Harry Potter. The movies however are rally not very good...
Wow! I don't check-in for a few days and the posts go crazy! Glad to see we have some new crew members. Crowe I know you are an oldtimer, but this is the first I've seen you on the Grossed out thread. Welcome! Hey Ted, I saw somewhere you are from NC. I'm next door in SC.
HC, since you seem to be a computer wiz, can you set-up a chatroom for us so we can all chat together? I have enjoyed chats with Peach, Deefer, Jen and Rip on Facebook, but a chat room would be better that we could chat together.
Bobbie, I am so glad you and KC are bonding so well. When you start talking for the cat, you've found your match.
Miz, Deef, Peach, Castoff, Kuli, Pirate, Rossella, Rip, Tennessee, Jen and the rest of the gang I managed to forget to include, hang in there!
I'm facing the decision to cut back on my work hours but work enough to keep my health insurance. Working part-time would be ideal, but I can't afford to be without health insurance. My work is my sanity away from mom. I think if I was with her all day with no exscape I would go completely bonkers or sink into a depression I wouldn't find my way out of.
I know my post is in all directions tonight, but there is so much to catch up on. Take care my old friends and my new friends. I'll try do a better job of checking in.
Hi Diane, I'm actually from NY but I've been next door here in NC for about 20 yrs and I'm here to stay.
HC, while your at it, try to hack into the agingcare mainframe and set up a spellcheck thingie for me? I know I'm one of a very few that needs it but my typing is so bad it takes me twicw as long to correct my posts (as much as I do) than to write them.
HC you have to do what is best for you-I kept waiting for others to tell me to place my husband and could not understand why others could not see what I was going through and my therapist said I was waiting for someone to rescue me and that would not happen and after much thinking I realized she was right and I had to stand up and say I could no longer do it-then everyone said I was right-so only ypu can make that decision what is right for you and when the time is for placement-take some time to think about it and go with what your heart says-give yourself permission to make the decision.
Hi to all of our new crew members & my old buddies, alike! Hope everybody is having an easy night & staying out of the black hole!
I have set up a chat group on FB for any of you that are interested. If we're already friends on FB you're already included in the group...Mary, Patti, Rossella, Linda, Kathy, Diane & me. The name of the group is Crew of the Barbara B. Just do a search on FB & it should come up & on the right side you can click on chat with group to see if anyone in the group is online & we should be able to talk up a storm! If you're not in the chat group already, but would like to be, please let me know your FB name & I'll be glad to add you to the group.
Bobbie, Kitty's theme song should be REACH OUT, REACH OUT & TOUCH SOMEONE. lol Funny that you've started talking for her already! That seems to be one of their training ploys! lol
miz, Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens! OOOooo...drum rim shot!
Visit with daughter & granddaughter is coming to an early end tomorrow. Nothing wrong, she's just wanting to visit a friend in Atlanta so she's leaving early. I have mixed emotions. On one hand glad that it's coming to an end with all of the unnecessary drama, but on the other hand she said she's not coming back to this area for at least a year & a half. So sad! My granddaughter & I will never really have a chance to get to know each other. And it's difficult to reconcile a relationship long distance. I have tried very hard to be kind & accomodating to them & not cause any problems. Hopefully that will sink in to her after she's at home & settled. I'd really like to be able for us to sit down & really talk, but right now I don't see that as a welcomed option.
On another note, I need some caregiver advice...How do you know when it's really time to start helping your loved one to bathe...even with a stool in the tub instead of the shower? And how do you go about telling them it's time? I already have to dry him off, shave him, put on deoderant, etc. He's been taking a shower with the aid of a shower stool, but I don't think with him sitting he's getting as clean as he needs to be. I put him on the bed today & gave him a sponge bath after he'd gotten out of the shower, but I think it really embarassed him, although I tried not to make a big deal out of it to ease him. Your suggestions are most welcome!
Hope everybody will have an easy night & get plenty of rest! Love & hugs! Goodnight!
GP, I was lucky enough in that when it came time for mom to have help bathing, she was also under the care of temporary home health, and when that came to an end, one of the CNA's who mom had become used to offered to continue coming in just for baths on a weekly basis, I just never really explained it to mom and she just went along with it. I pay the CNA out of pocket.
Perhaps You can find a CNA that is willing to just do baths and such.
I believe that for mom and me, keeping the very obviously personal stuff out of our life together as much ass possible is more comfortable all around.
Funny, my dad won't let anyone BUT me help him bathe. Started when he was in a nursing home for rehab. I usually offer just to help him wash his back. Think of how good it feels to do that and when you can no longer do that for yourself, it's truly a luxury that he enjoys and looks forward to. While doing that, I push a little farther to help him make sure all other parts are clean. Of course, as a nurse, I've been there, done that with strangers and have developed the ability to detach to prevent it from being awkward for me. I do have to admit though that it's still awkward to insert a new catheter when it's needed. But I approach it with the "you do what you have to do" attitude.
Good morning everyone,Halloween is upon us,one of my favorite times of year.Seeing things through a kids eye makes it particularly fun. Dog had its outfit-daughter took mine-Gotta figure out what I'll be.Got any ideas?
Maybe I'll wear overalls and I'll have lots of pockets and just be a abused farmer. Sign on back [down with cooperate farming.]I was going to be a black widow since I AM a widow,but daughter thought it cute,so it is hers now.
Bobbie,you are always full of good ideas,darn these guys around here are following me around like a 15 year old girl ,its' hunting season and I have wildlife.They are attracted to me right now like ticks on a dog.I am not a hunter,so I have a lot of wildlife.Hunters are crazy during hunting season particularly the city ones. They will shoot anything-goats -cows-horses-you name it.I have fat squirrels and I'm very poplar for my fat squirrels right now. They want my squirrells,next deer then- ape shit [DUCKS]-they go bananas over ducks. Never seen nothing like it. Hunters can be pretty humerous.Anyway I need some ideas for Halloween?
Perhaps a Ghost! SInce we are the caregivers and feel we are the invisable force that supports these sick and old folks! I was going to be a witch since I seem to feel like I ride around on a broomstick and can be bitchy as hell! LOL
Well here we go again, walked in to Mom's room and she has taken off the outter wrap on her foot and swears she didnt touch it, yet she was telling me how the hole is still there! Well if you didn't touch it or take the wrapping off how do you know the hole is still there?!?!?! GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Response was I can feel it! Well maybe cause you took all the bandages off!!!! So back to the bathroom, and found she is washing out the medicated gause that you don't reuse!!! How do you people keep doing this for years?!?! I am adjusting to a new med for my issues and she keeps asking how I am feeling...I said Well it DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH STRESS I AM SUBJECTED TO!!!!! Right now, Not so good! I know I should not get upset, and this is why I think another caregiving situation should be found. Last night when we were eatting dinner she noticed that her dog didn't eat the veggies and dog frrod from yesterday morning, so what did she do??? She gave the dog Sloppy JOe from her dinner with dry dog food and then remarked how hungry she must have been since she gobbled it all up so fast! I said she did that cause you put food in her bowl she is NOT supposed to eat! The dog is on medical dog food by perscription due to bladder stones that had to be removed and started bleeding again due to Mom feeding her people food all the time!!! Then she sated handing her more food! next thing the dog has jumped up on the couch and was eatting off her plate, That was it, I pushed the dog away and my husband said NO DOGS ON THE COUCH WHILE WE ARE EATING MOM....she just sat there and let the dog eat, we had to make the dog get down since she was clearly not going to control her own dog! Imagine that! Daisy (the dog ) is like 45 lbs and she is a cocker/golden retriver mix and is extreamly overweight suer to Mom feeding her so much and not exercising the dog. A few friends have seen Daisy and they were like OMG! That dog is so fat! You can hera the dog not breathing right due to the weight, when she sits her tummy hangs on the ground! Last thing I need is that dog to die and Mom not wanting to go on anymore! Maybe thats the way she will go, but such friken drama!!! Should I just ignore it and let her kill the friken dog? I can't cut her leg off so she won't mess with it and she won't stop messing with it! Maybe I am just a bit off due to the med change, but this is what sets me off!!!!!!!! How do you all cope and not not let it bother you?!?! I am trying to think of the Serenity prayer and accecpt the things I cannot change, but it isn't working!!!!
HC, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. My mom (thank GOD) is better now, but I went thru that for many years. Be it situational dementia, real dementia, ALZ or just old fashioned spite.....it is IMPOSSIBLE! You can either wait it out (may take years) or call in the marines. Do you let her kill the dog? If she doen't get it & refuses to get it, what choice do you have? No matter what you do, chances are you will be the one to blame. I know you want to do the right thing & you love her, but sometimes letting them go is an act of love. Does mom have financial stability? If she is placed in an NH and goes thru her own monies she will need medicaid & it's best to start the ball rolling on that early. Try to elicit help from her doc & find an elder attorney. If she's demented there isn't much you can expect from her. You are correct when you say some of us are not equipped for this. There is NO SHAME in that! You will still have plenty of responsibility if she is in an NH & will have to be plenty involved. Austin knows what she's talking about & please don't fall into the guilt trap, it can permanently damage. I pray your peace & comfort. GP, If your daughter is young she may come to her senses in a year or two...give it time. If you start getting the "children do not realize" cards you will know she's changed her tune. Your hub would probably prefer help in the shower before a sponge bath. A little less humiliating. Offer to "wash his back" was a wonderful idea & will breach the subject gently. Bobbie, Yes we all verbalize for our pets. After just a few minutes separation I'll hear it from Shutup for what seems like hours. "mama, mama, mama, mama, touch me, touch me, touch me, feed me, feed me, feed me, I love you, I hate you, I love you", to which I respond "what?, what?, what?, shutup!, shutup!, shutup!, shutup!, love it, love it, love it" on & on & on. Kids, what can be done? LOL. You & kitty are just getting to know each other. Sorry, I had to poke a little fun...being in the "same boat" & all. Ted, Yes, I talk for my cat & he DOES kick my a$$! LOL. As far as the spelling thing...I cheat & keep a dictionary next to my PC. Doesn't always work thoe. Not a problem. Tenn, Bobbie had the great gag with the fake blood having been lacerated by the feral cat. Could you work that into a costume? Maybe with a stuffed kitty on your shoulder? Maybe not; it wouldn't be a hit with the animal rescue folks or those who don't have cats. The abused farmer might strike a nerve....commoradery but hostility also. It sucks being politically correct, folks can't take a joke anymore. Diane, Good to hear from you. Hope you can squeeze more time for you. Hope we all can. Be blessed ladies & gents.
Thanks Castoff, I read another post and realized it is for sure caregiver stress along with Med adjustment "Transistion" I think this is so difficult due to what you said, "situational dementia, real dementia, ALZ or just old fashioned spite." Most of the time I tend to think it is spite! It is different when its a true demetia eposide...she isn't that far gone! And the lies!!!! OMG I just want to slap her! I hate GAMES!!!
hcarey-I had to take my dads dog out of the room when he ate because he would give the dog all of his food and I wanted to see what he[my dad] ate.The dog got so fat he was about to bust.........it was funny and maddening at the same time.Old people don't have much of a appitite
My dad had one of those ports put in,he wouldn't stop messing with.One of those things threaded through the vein-pulled it out and bled seriously bad.I kept on saying -oh my God- oh my GOD. He Pick at little sores he wouldn't leave them alone.That was one of the reasons he didn't get to come home a couple times because he would undo what they did in the hospital.
She gets a pension with ssi, and there is a little money in the bank, but if I use it now for her care and she is still alive when it runs out she will have to come back to me when she is at a more advanced stage. I am looking for programs, checking into Medi-Cal, but she makes too much and has more than 2000 in the bank. A friend of mine who works for Medical replied to an email and said take her to the hospital and refuse to come get her and they will put her in a facility, Medi-Cal will pay for 100 days and take all of her money! Then what?! That sounds pretty drastic and would have no control where she goes.... She is not combative and she don't wander unless I take her to Wallmart and let her shop, which she LOVES to do ALL THE TIME!!!! Give that woman a shopping cart and all her pains go away, she walks much faster when not looking at stuff, plus she would stay there the entire day and always wants makeup and wrinkle cream asking for "That new lotion to get ride of wrinkles" Where is it!?!?! Why don't they have it?!?! I have asked her what its called. She has no clue, but damnit the hell the store should have it!!! Have what?!?! A miracle cream to get rid of all the wrinkles on a 76 year old woman that you have no clue what the name of it is, who makes it or the color of the bottle!!! More snake oil crap! And she can't really see the products but insists on looking at them and then gets pissed cause she can't see them!!!!!!!!! I understand her frustration but when this happens several times a week it gets old REAL quick!
As far as chatting, I wish I could fix the board, but thats up to the people that run this. FB would work but I bet they can just add the chat feature to this web site...has anyone asked? As I mentioned before, we could all meet up in Secondlife and see and hear each other as well as message! I will keep poking around, but FB may me the most logical answer, but I have a few things I want to check out...I will let you know what I find, in the mean time I would like to be apart of the facebook one...who can add me?
Well, I wrote a big post 2 hours ago and lost it before I could post it!@#@! So I walked away and made a pot of chicken soup. I have to pick up Mom in 20 minutes, so here goes! About the bathing of loved ones. I always told Mom when she needed me to wipe her hiney, she would be in a NH! Guess what? Now I wipe hers more than my own!!! It's sad to say, but it doesn't phase me in the least anymore. Clean her up and sit down to dinner! What does that tell ya! When I first had to do these personal things for her, I was motifide and so was she, because she was still in her right mind. Now... So HC, here's one frustrating night of many over the last 4 1/2 years. I'm getting her into the bathroom to get ready for bed. She has crap in her pull-up, so I stand her in front of the toilet and start to tear the pull-ups off. She decides to help, and twists and fall flat on her butt. As I'm trying to get her off the floor, I step in the crap with my new shoes! I finally get her up and onto the toilet, when she tries to reach her pants on the floor, while sitting on the raised toilet seat! Down she goes again, taking me with her! This time I hurt the shoulder that I had surgery on last year. You know by now I am yelling uncontrollably and she is getting more p'd at me because she said it's all my fault! I finally get the mess and her all cleaned up and put her to bed. I quickly escape to my side of the house before she tries something else. Even grosser! I wake her up this morning and she is soaked! I start to take her pull-ups down, and low and behold, there is a huge pile of...You got it! I finally get her all cleaned up and give her pills to swallow. She spits one out in a tissue! That's her new trick. Rolling them around i her mouth instead of swallowing.She takes 4 to 5 pills 4 times a day. Now that's a big production too! The dementia is at the point where she can repeat what you said to her, but she can't do what you are telling her.I do have help 5 days a week, and she is in daycare 3 days from 9 to 3. But it is really starting to get bad and I now have to help Merry get her on the toilet and to bed sometimes. Everyone has to decide when they have had enough and do what is necessary. If you decide you can no longer care for Mom, then find her a place and don't feel guilty about it. You have done more than most people are willing. Good luck! Ted, Loved the timing of your misspell! GP, I think Castoff is right about helping Larry in the shower rather than a sponge bath. You will both get used to it, as it is a necessity! As for Kelly, you are right about this not being the time for a serious conversation. Let the memory of the visit be a good one! Tenn, How about you dress up as a lawyer, but the way you picture them. It could be interesting!!!
Ya know I know this happens to people, and I pray I don't burden my kids with all of this. I wish we had a button for emergency shut off when we decide we have had enough of our own aging process then we could just say our goodbyes when we were coherant and plan our own final arrangements. Perhaps a going away party so we could enjoy the end with our loved ones! What good am I to anyone if I don't know who you are, can't function anymore, live on tons of meds, or can't wipe my own ass?! Maybe I will feel different when I get older, but I doubt it. Take me before I cost people thousands of dollars, ruin their own personal lives and relationships, and push them into therapy due to guilt! I want people to remember me for me! Not for all the pain an agoney I caused them! Just saying ;-0
On Killing the dog...I put my Pug in his crate by the table when we eat, he has his and we have ours at the same time...and Grandpa does not get to give him the food he doesn't want to eat and chocolate chip cookies and kill my dog!!! Good luck with that one if it is her dog. If you can take him for walks in the evening. IF you can....I know I don't go anywhere either unless mom is home to spot her father...
For some reason his DR mentioned Hospice...for the old man not the dog..But fact is he isn't terminal he is old and fading but Hospice is a program that needs a terminal time line to work properly and if you live beyond 6 months it really throws them off...He could go tonight he could go in ten years!!!! There is not set time! Not for general age related decline... Def I do not envy you, your situation is far more onerous than mine and I won't be wiping his ass...I clean his shit off the walls and re mop my clean floors when he pees but I will not do body care for reasons most here know... Mom wants him to have a hair cut. I imagine it will be his last really...that and he is NOT getting out of the wheelchair this time......It ends eventually.......
When I feel like that in my old age, I think I'll just go on a wilderness hike and just not come back and tell people to not come looking for me. Isn't that what some native Americans did ages ago?
My mom says she plans to go into retirement home that goes into assisted living that goes into nursing home as needed...Might be the best emergency shut off valve we have in the West, where life's quantity far out reaches its quality over and over and over...Course some of the Native People of the Far North would chuck you out on a n ice floe to sea when you couldn't hunt anymore....Might be more dignified, certainly less work...More guilt maybe...
Deef, you made a very good thing adopting those poor cats. No comment about a woman who throws her two cats in the street; they are lucky to have found you. Ted, as much ass possible? Very cute. Talking about cleaning our ol'moms, it is quite pertinent! Hcarey your story made me think and think and think. It seems your mother is a hardass! (just to stay on topic). The fact that she is actually causing harm to her dog (over-feeding him), without any logic and without listening to anybody, this seems to me a symptom that hear head does not work anymore. Maybe she is trying to manipulate you; my mother who is in an advanced Alzheimer stage still manages to manipulate me with the residual capacity of reasoning she has. But I think that she (your mother) really has problems. What can you do? Do you sedate her a little bit? Terrible to say it, but if you do not sedate a person whose head does not work anymore, no one lives very well. You have to find the right level, no one wants his mother/father sleeping all day long. Have you talked to a doctor? I guess so.
Where is Angie? Where is Rip? I have slept all night long, yesterday night (it was afternoon-evening for you)- I was so tired after one week of working working (and sleeping max 2-3 hours a night on the chair - I mean a wooden chair, not a fluffy one) that when I hit my bed yesterday night I felt the happiest person in the world.
I speak to my cats and they answer me. We did not have a good conversation tonight because I had to re-arrange the wardrobe (summer things on top, winter things on bottom) and they enjoyed the operation a lot and they jumped among the things I was trying to put in the right place and they threw them to the ground. After a while I was so nervous that I grabbed them one by one and made them fly across the room. They were very angry for that violence and made "Yeoww meooow grrrr" and they are very offended now. Have you noticed they watch you all day long? When you do something that they are interested in, they come from nowhere. If you are doing something they are not interested in, you can call them for hours and they become invisible!
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Grandpa has bruised ribs from doing something stupid, Tylenol and time all to do. Canceled Adult day Health, less friction the better...I don't care. who cares why care.....
.It is what It is till it isn't anymore..ii think I'd jump off that boat right now.
Rip I read the Twilight series. It is sort of pre teen to teen based romance novel, The old Romeo and Juliet thing. Well written, fun bit dopey but I see why it has gone insane like Harry Potter. The movies however are rally not very good...
Making Pumpkin Bread. Hanging on....
"The Ol' Crow Medicine Show"?
Thier song "Wagon Wheel" has been a favorite of mine for a little while now.
HC, since you seem to be a computer wiz, can you set-up a chatroom for us so we can all chat together? I have enjoyed chats with Peach, Deefer, Jen and Rip on Facebook, but a chat room would be better that we could chat together.
Bobbie, I am so glad you and KC are bonding so well. When you start talking for the cat, you've found your match.
Miz, Deef, Peach, Castoff, Kuli, Pirate, Rossella, Rip, Tennessee, Jen and the rest of the gang I managed to forget to include, hang in there!
I'm facing the decision to cut back on my work hours but work enough to keep my health insurance. Working part-time would be ideal, but I can't afford to be without health insurance. My work is my sanity away from mom. I think if I was with her all day with no exscape I would go completely bonkers or sink into a depression I wouldn't find my way out of.
I know my post is in all directions tonight, but there is so much to catch up on. Take care my old friends and my new friends. I'll try do a better job of checking in.
Hugs to all the wonderful caregivers!
Diane
HC, while your at it, try to hack into the agingcare mainframe and set up a spellcheck thingie for me? I know I'm one of a very few that needs it but my typing is so bad it takes me twicw as long to correct my posts (as much as I do) than to write them.
I have set up a chat group on FB for any of you that are interested. If we're already friends on FB you're already included in the group...Mary, Patti, Rossella, Linda, Kathy, Diane & me. The name of the group is Crew of the Barbara B. Just do a search on FB & it should come up & on the right side you can click on chat with group to see if anyone in the group is online & we should be able to talk up a storm! If you're not in the chat group already, but would like to be, please let me know your FB name & I'll be glad to add you to the group.
Bobbie, Kitty's theme song should be REACH OUT, REACH OUT & TOUCH SOMEONE. lol Funny that you've started talking for her already! That seems to be one of their training ploys! lol
miz, Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens! OOOooo...drum rim shot!
Visit with daughter & granddaughter is coming to an early end tomorrow. Nothing wrong, she's just wanting to visit a friend in Atlanta so she's leaving early. I have mixed emotions. On one hand glad that it's coming to an end with all of the unnecessary drama, but on the other hand she said she's not coming back to this area for at least a year & a half. So sad! My granddaughter & I will never really have a chance to get to know each other. And it's difficult to reconcile a relationship long distance. I have tried very hard to be kind & accomodating to them & not cause any problems. Hopefully that will sink in to her after she's at home & settled. I'd really like to be able for us to sit down & really talk, but right now I don't see that as a welcomed option.
On another note, I need some caregiver advice...How do you know when it's really time to start helping your loved one to bathe...even with a stool in the tub instead of the shower? And how do you go about telling them it's time? I already have to dry him off, shave him, put on deoderant, etc. He's been taking a shower with the aid of a shower stool, but I don't think with him sitting he's getting as clean as he needs to be. I put him on the bed today & gave him a sponge bath after he'd gotten out of the shower, but I think it really embarassed him, although I tried not to make a big deal out of it to ease him. Your suggestions are most welcome!
Hope everybody will have an easy night & get plenty of rest!
Love & hugs! Goodnight!
Perhaps You can find a CNA that is willing to just do baths and such.
I believe that for mom and me, keeping the very obviously personal stuff out of our life together as much ass possible is more comfortable all around.
i just feel that keeping up even the pretence of some privacy for mom is a good thing.
GP, If your daughter is young she may come to her senses in a year or two...give it time. If you start getting the "children do not realize" cards you will know she's changed her tune.
Your hub would probably prefer help in the shower before a sponge bath. A little less humiliating. Offer to "wash his back" was a wonderful idea & will breach the subject gently.
Bobbie, Yes we all verbalize for our pets. After just a few minutes separation I'll hear it from Shutup for what seems like hours. "mama, mama, mama, mama, touch me, touch me, touch me, feed me, feed me, feed me, I love you, I hate you, I love you", to which I respond "what?, what?, what?, shutup!, shutup!, shutup!, shutup!, love it, love it, love it" on & on & on. Kids, what can be done? LOL. You & kitty are just getting to know each other. Sorry, I had to poke a little fun...being in the "same boat" & all.
Ted, Yes, I talk for my cat & he DOES kick my a$$! LOL. As far as the spelling thing...I cheat & keep a dictionary next to my PC. Doesn't always work thoe. Not a problem.
Tenn, Bobbie had the great gag with the fake blood having been lacerated by the feral cat. Could you work that into a costume? Maybe with a stuffed kitty on your shoulder? Maybe not; it wouldn't be a hit with the animal rescue folks or those who don't have cats. The abused farmer might strike a nerve....commoradery but hostility also. It sucks being politically correct, folks can't take a joke anymore.
Diane, Good to hear from you. Hope you can squeeze more time for you. Hope we all can.
Be blessed ladies & gents.
As far as chatting, I wish I could fix the board, but thats up to the people that run this. FB would work but I bet they can just add the chat feature to this web site...has anyone asked? As I mentioned before, we could all meet up in Secondlife and see and hear each other as well as message! I will keep poking around, but FB may me the most logical answer, but I have a few things I want to check out...I will let you know what I find, in the mean time I would like to be apart of the facebook one...who can add me?
About the bathing of loved ones. I always told Mom when she needed me to wipe her hiney, she would be in a NH! Guess what? Now I wipe hers more than my own!!! It's sad to say, but it doesn't phase me in the least anymore. Clean her up and sit down to dinner! What does that tell ya! When I first had to do these personal things for her, I was motifide and so was she, because she was still in her right mind. Now...
So HC, here's one frustrating night of many over the last 4 1/2 years. I'm getting her into the bathroom to get ready for bed. She has crap in her pull-up, so I stand her in front of the toilet and start to tear the pull-ups off. She decides to help, and twists and fall flat on her butt. As I'm trying to get her off the floor, I step in the crap with my new shoes! I finally get her up and onto the toilet, when she tries to reach her pants on the floor, while sitting on the raised toilet seat! Down she goes again, taking me with her! This time I hurt the shoulder that I had surgery on last year. You know by now I am yelling uncontrollably and she is getting more p'd at me because she said it's all my fault!
I finally get the mess and her all cleaned up and put her to bed. I quickly escape to my side of the house before she tries something else.
Even grosser! I wake her up this morning and she is soaked! I start to take her pull-ups down, and low and behold, there is a huge pile of...You got it! I finally get her all cleaned up and give her pills to swallow. She spits one out in a tissue! That's her new trick. Rolling them around i her mouth instead of swallowing.She takes 4 to 5 pills 4 times a day. Now that's a big production too!
The dementia is at the point where she can repeat what you said to her, but she can't do what you are telling her.I do have help 5 days a week, and she is in daycare 3 days from 9 to 3. But it is really starting to get bad and I now have to help Merry get her on the toilet and to bed sometimes.
Everyone has to decide when they have had enough and do what is necessary. If you decide you can no longer care for Mom, then find her a place and don't feel guilty about it. You have done more than most people are willing. Good luck!
Ted, Loved the timing of your misspell!
GP, I think Castoff is right about helping Larry in the shower rather than a sponge bath. You will both get used to it, as it is a necessity! As for Kelly, you are right about this not being the time for a serious conversation. Let the memory of the visit be a good one!
Tenn, How about you dress up as a lawyer, but the way you picture them. It could be interesting!!!
For some reason his DR mentioned Hospice...for the old man not the dog..But fact is he isn't terminal he is old and fading but Hospice is a program that needs a terminal time line to work properly and if you live beyond 6 months it really throws them off...He could go tonight he could go in ten years!!!! There is not set time! Not for general age related decline...
Def I do not envy you, your situation is far more onerous than mine and I won't be wiping his ass...I clean his shit off the walls and re mop my clean floors when he pees but I will not do body care for reasons most here know...
Mom wants him to have a hair cut. I imagine it will be his last really...that and he is NOT getting out of the wheelchair this time......It ends eventually.......
When I feel like that in my old age, I think I'll just go on a wilderness hike and just not come back and tell people to not come looking for me. Isn't that what some native Americans did ages ago?
Ted, as much ass possible? Very cute. Talking about cleaning our ol'moms, it is quite pertinent!
Hcarey your story made me think and think and think. It seems your mother is a hardass! (just to stay on topic). The fact that she is actually causing harm to her dog (over-feeding him), without any logic and without listening to anybody, this seems to me a symptom that hear head does not work anymore. Maybe she is trying to manipulate you; my mother who is in an advanced Alzheimer stage still manages to manipulate me with the residual capacity of reasoning she has. But I think that she (your mother) really has problems.
What can you do? Do you sedate her a little bit? Terrible to say it, but if you do not sedate a person whose head does not work anymore, no one lives very well. You have to find the right level, no one wants his mother/father sleeping all day long. Have you talked to a doctor? I guess so.
Where is Angie? Where is Rip? I have slept all night long, yesterday night (it was afternoon-evening for you)- I was so tired after one week of working working (and sleeping max 2-3 hours a night on the chair - I mean a wooden chair, not a fluffy one) that when I hit my bed yesterday night I felt the happiest person in the world.
I speak to my cats and they answer me. We did not have a good conversation tonight because I had to re-arrange the wardrobe (summer things on top, winter things on bottom) and they enjoyed the operation a lot and they jumped among the things I was trying to put in the right place and they threw them to the ground. After a while I was so nervous that I grabbed them one by one and made them fly across the room. They were very angry for that violence and made "Yeoww meooow grrrr" and they are very offended now. Have you noticed they watch you all day long? When you do something that they are interested in, they come from nowhere. If you are doing something they are not interested in, you can call them for hours and they become invisible!