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Sad to say, it's pretty much the story of my life. Nothing comes easy..... Dad is now in what they call a "heart failure clinic". Supposed to keep him out of the hospital by having closer control of his medications and all. I'm hoping it works. He so hates to be in the hospital. Last time, they put a bed alarm on him at my suggestion and he was so mad at me. He still can't stand the "Mary had a little lamb" tune that thing played everytime he tried to get out of bed without help - lol. Poor guy. I pray every night that when it's his time, he goes in his sleep in his own bed. Keep him in your prayers as well. Good night and good dreams to all!
B/f told me of a patient of a partner in his practice who was told he had terminal cancer. Next thing b/f hears is that the patient and his wife are found dead of an apparent murder/suicide. The patient was caring for his wife with alzheimers and when he found out he was terminal, shot her and then himself. As he says, the story is sweet in a way in that he didn't want his wife to be alone or be cared for by strangers. But sad that it was the only option he could think of.
They had been married for many, many years. He had been her primary caregiver. I agree, Rosella, great man, great courage, great love. My dad has been without my mom for 22 years. While he seems to have adjusted, I know it's lonesome for him. Many times he calls me by my mom's name. He used to say that one of the hardest things after she died was coming home to an empty house. I know how it was after my divorce but I think that would be more difficult when your spouse dies later in life and you still love that person. Of course, I'm not at all saying divorce is easy either. But my mom and dad would have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary 19 days after she died. 40 years of marriage - it's hard for me to imagine spending that many years living with one person.
Hi everyone my cat shows me the way to the kitchen every morning and looks back to make sure I am still there. Castoff good for you setting boundaries I did that to the husband-I finally learned to help myself PQ Carol and the other experts do not seem to get involved like they use to there are so many unanswered questions so many people are lost as what to do I try to answer the ones I have experience with. they made me start logging in again the other day I had forgotten my password I have been here since 08. We are having sunny but cooler weather now-the trees are pretty.
I too had to log in a few days ago. some sites have a timeout where after so many months you log in again or they were doing whatever it is they need to do to keep this big thing running. I'm still impressed by the site and how much comfort it has given so many people. sorry that you're p'd at it Pirate. Miss you sgt at arms!
my mom and dad were married for 48 years when he died. I couldn't appreciate at the time how devastating it was for my mom. When I think of trying to be there for her and how she was to me I think I would be dead by now from the stress. I thought I was going to be dead before her or right after her. Grateful I'm still here and thanks be to you ladies and Crowe for a big part of that! Didn't know you yet Ted. Ol' Crowe would give me a shout out on the wall here and again.
I moved the boat.
The dockmaster would constantly break my balls about moving because we were on a 100ft dock with a 58' boat and the owner and I discussed it and I understood that if a big boat came in and the other docks were full, I would move to another slip. I said I get it but I don't want to hear about it every time I see you. the dockmaster, who is an employee, was there when the owner and I resolved the issue. Well, first thing the other morning. I'm going up the dock to hit the head and the dockmaster sees me and says: Looks like you'll have to LEAVE. I just got a call from a big boat on the way in. Me, knowing that 4 100' T Heads were EMPTY said: Shut the F**k up I don't want to hear it. He persisted, all pleased with himself and I just went to the bathroom and then walked down the dock to the boat where the boat angel and his helper were working and hollered: I want this boat ready to move! the helm was all torn apart and I said i want the throttle/tranny and a depth sounder now and boat angel had it hooked up in 5 minutes. Love the military. I bet I had to hear 'you'll have to move the boat', 'we were talking about you moving your boat'. 'we have big boats coming in' at least 30 times over the 11 weeks I was there. BTW, these big boats never materialized, our boat never caused them to lose a dollar. Of course they profited from it.
I threw all the storm lines on deck and left the 3 lines on the boat and then the 3 of us had the temerity to go to lunch. I called a 30 year Navy/Merchant Marine guy and his wife and said: wanna go for a boat ride? Happy time! So we outta there.
Remember when i mentioned that by BP was way up when i was in the last 3-4 months of caring for mom? I had hit 160/ 120 and that is not good.
The day before the dockmaster incident i got to 111/74 which is more like it. I told the guy that I was here to heal and not be screwed with. I told him 3 times. Idiot.
We are now in a different way off the beaten path spot. Nice.
have a good day my Crew. If your crews get out of hand, act like a Captain.
(At this time please interject the image of Captain Morgan [rum] and stand there with your leg up in the air)
Oh, and there was no 'big' boat. It was a joke. he was just wanting to get a 'rise' out of me. I really despise people who are such a mess themselves that they think they have to keep other people 'on their toes' oh please.
It's the human equivalent of poking something with a stick.
Hey guys, just checking in quick on my way to the post office to pick up the bills, Jsomebody, you're right about the over-med thing. When I got mom back from the nursing home she was addicted to heavy doses of tracedone and had a broken vertebrae and a broken hip. It was a bitch getting her off the stuff. Kuli i don't think that story was sad, I agree with Rossella, it was brave and beautiful. Rip, Where can I book passage (pardon the pun) on the Hemlock Cruise?
Mornin' Everyone. Sick & tired today. My parents made it to 69 years married. Can you imagine? She still misses him so much. I think by that time you're like part of one another or something. Bobbie, those people you're dealing with at the docks are weanies. I hate practical jokes like that or whatever they are. People that get their jollies out of making someone else suffer or go through shit they should not have to. People can be such ass holes. Pardon my French. Foul mouth today I guess. Pirate, so glad you're back. Love to you all. Sandy is better. A runny eye and sneezing. Is taking antibiotics. Gonna go lay down. BTW, I'm all for "when you wanna go, you oughta be able to go." if you know what I mean. Animals are not made to suffer by loving humans. Anyways, talk to yas later.
Hemlock Cruise ~ Great one, Ted! have you hears about seniors who spend their golden years on cruises or living in hotels? Cheaper than nursing homes. Hope your computer is up soon. Mine have been very screwy lately ... dropping connections, etc. Cats constantly on my lap doesn't help ... 3 just hopped on tp announce it's raining out.
Hey Bobbie ~ does the marina have live feed video? I'd love to see your interchanges with little dock man. From what you say you're moored in a high travel channel. Privacy sounds nice. What a pain ~
So Kitty has learned some new word,s huh? She'll be cuss yeowing soon ,
Bobbie, F that dockmaster!!!!! Little old men with little old.....egos that need stroking. GOD bless 'em real hard!!! I've been living in that realm most of my life. Reprobates have to make someone else miserable to make themselves feel better. Romans & Isaiah are 2 of my favorite BIBLE books....you can read & find out why. I thought I had escaped when I retired from my last employer....but no. Those who feel the need to "get a rise out of us".....GOD will be getting a "rise out of them" on our behalf at some point. Their choice. OK...I'm done & onto something else. Ted, Passage? Hemlock Cruise? You are the new chief of puns. I gladly relinquish my title. LOL When mom got her second knee replacement the docs sent me home an 83 yr old junkie from the vicadin. That was big fun. I watched her eyes glaze over like a shark & she hissed at me like a snake. Love you too mom. Rosella, You are soooo right. Even negative attention is good attention & she must be the center of all at all times. She is a hoarder & was probably angry with me for disposing of the trash. I come thru like a whirlwind & dispose of things her twisted little mind would NEVER think of "throwing away". How dare I clean up after her piggy self! Too bad mom, if I have to do this I'm not going to be held liable for your mess also! If I must work in this environment it will be in some order & clean. It took three years to clean up my dad's place so it could be sold and I still haven't caught up with her highness's crap! What a hateful thing to do to someone! I spend my whole life cleaning her whole life! She has saved it for me all the way back to 1940!!!! What a waste. I pray no parent ever do this to another child. Hoarders suck! I too had to re-login....updates I suppose. Oh well, hope all of you are having a lovely weekend & it gets better for all of us. Good days, bad days, good days.
Have any of you all gotten flu shots or flu shots for the ones you are caring for? Hubby and I got ours on Thursday at my work for free and Mom got hers yesterday. I hate shots and they gave them in front of other employees at my work. I closed my eyes and I know I have an awful look on my face. Kind of embarrassing.
Anyway, not sure what to do with myself today. It's gloomy out. Maybe we'll have a good thunder boomer. Love those.
ddotal welcome I think you will be very glad to be part of this crew-it saved my sanity any problems you have others have also you will get the plain truth not a lot of medicial jargon we are a family we laught and cuss and fight at times but at the end of the day we are there for each other and any time of night or day someone is there to offer love and support. Bobbie next time someone gets me po'd I tell them my friend Bobbie is commin down the Hudson so bug off she may have her leg in the air if so you better skaddle if you know what is good for you -and her cat will bite and scratch on demand-that is not true but they will not know that-New Yorkers think they are tough-not-you are a ray of sunshine in my day.
Castoff, my mother and father were both "keepers", so when we had to clear the house of my parents in Rome, so that we could sell it and my mother could come live with me in this country house, my brother and I were frightened by what we would find. In fact there were thousands and thousands of useless things, three times of everything. For example, when my father went to buy a lamp, he came back with three lamps, just in case. (he had built a mezzanine which was as big as half apartment, and that mezzanine seemed Istanbul's bazaar) My brother was very determined to clear the house soon, so that he could give my mother to me (HA), and he threw everything away without looking too much at what he was doing. I hope he did not throw anything important; I had to take care of the books (thousands) and I did a nice job, looking one by one and deciding about their destiny. He used the strategy of putting everything he found in big sacks and hop! to the garbage bin! I have another story to tell tonight. A funny (? funny?) one. It is called "the pellet stove" and "Rossella the removal man". Until one month ago, my mother slept in her bedroom, adjacent to the living room where we have the TV and the pellet stove. (logically). One month ago, she decided she did not want to sleep in that bedroom, alone, without TV. Therefore, the girls and I moved some pieces of furniture, among which a huge table with 100 framed photos on it, and we put that table in my mother's bedroom, and my mother's bed in the living room. So she could watch television. Tonight, another turn of the fate! She does not want to see the pellet stove because she does not like to see the flames. I tried to explain to her that if I switch off the pellet stove, we are going to be cold. Those of you who have an Alzheimer parent know that it's impossible to convince them about anything. After one hour of "Switch if off, switch it off, switch it off, switch it off", a merry singsong, I actually switched off the stove, because the alternative was to put her in the stove. She is happy now, in her cold room. I am in my room with my kerosene stove and I am very well. I put an extra blanket on her bed, and a blanket on her shoulders. But, unfortunately, real winter is coming soon and we can't throw away the pellet stove because she does not like it. (it cost a lot of money, by the way, but I am saving a lot of money of gas) So, as tomorrov my brother is coming, I have decided that he has to become a happy removal brother. We are going to put my mother's bed in her bedroom again; the big photoful-table (which is in my mother's bedroom, now) in the living room, again; the TV set in my mother's bedroom, and the hideous evil pellet stove will be all alone in the living room, so I shall be able to switch it on when my mother does not see it. Shall we become crazy? Shall we become saints? I know that this story will make many bells ring....
Rosella she will probably forget all the drama about the stoce I have a wwod stove since the 70's I think when fuel oil was so high men in business suites were stopping along the road to get wood for their fireplaces so we got a stove that inserted into the fireplace and I am getting the chimmnet cleaned and bring in wood for it -it is so nice and cozy in that room and my husband had put fans in the fireplace so the warm air goes out into the rooms-I sure hopes she stays put in one room instead od moving all around hopefully she will forget about it and if she wants to move again say no a nurse I worked with took her father in and he would get up and add wood to the stove and caused a lot of problems but the worse was running outside naked she was mortified-it did not bother him in the least. I was thinking of a pellet stove but will keep the wood stove as long as I can-when we had dogs they were over the moon laying in front of it and my cat will probably also do fleu oil is getting expensive I am on a budget plan and have to keep the house warmer now but when alone turn it down-growing up we did not have heat upstairs so I was use to sleeping in a cool place and like it and my faithful friend snuggles under the blankets when I first adoped him after being in the shelter for a year he remembered how to lift the blankets up -but slept so close to the edge of the bed he would fall off. It is starting to get cold night here now-I hate winter but like not having to go into work early in the morning when the roads are bad-and slept many nights at the hospital so did not have the horrible drive home.
Yes, Austin, maybe you are right. I could wait for a couple of days. I shall put more blankets on her and keep the stove closed if she does not want it open. But if the situation does not change, I see no other solution than moving everything around. With my mother, the problems never solve, they increase every day! So I am afraid she will not forget about the stove. We shall see... thanks
I sure hope things get better for you does she wear socks to bed -I do when it is cold out it does help-wish I could share my warm bodied cat but he would cry if he was away from me-we bonded the first day I had him home even though when I asked him there if he would like to go home with me he seemed bored by it all. One of my mothers's cats brings a mouse up from the basement-sometimes alive and puts it is the tub while he takes a nap.
Its so true early morning and after dads in bed is the best time. Never figured it would wind up this way. Love my dad so much but it can be really trying at times. Thanks so much for all your comments. It helps to not feel alone in all this.
Are you new? I love my dad so much but he still frustrates me daily. Lord knows we never thought we'd be here ... but are. In the deepest depths of it!
rip, I feel the same way about my mom. Feel very alone now. Hubby wants to sleep and I'm tired but I'm not. Welcome to nancy & ddotel. Austin, I hate Winter too. I even hate Fall. Everything is dying and it's getting cold and all that. Give me the tropics any day or night. Aren't pets wonderful? Sometimes they are the bright spot in a day. Bobbie, how are you? Rossella, Linda, Pirate, everyone, love you all. You're my bright spots too.
Miz try to see the good things of winter. Those sunny frisky days when air is clear and colours are beautiful. You are cold, you go into a café and drink a hot chocolate (or an eggnog). It's almost as good as jumping into the sea when you are hot.- Austin, I would like my mother to be so rational. She shoud wear socks, but she takes them off during the night. One of my cats would like to sleep with her, but she sends her away! She has no more patience with animals and children. It is a pity because she used to love them (animals and children, I mean). This is a nasty disease!
yes, and we are lucky she is not stronger than she is. Otherwise we shall be full of bruises! you don't have an idea how she fights when we wash her. I think violence is the normal progression of the disease. At least this is what many ladies told me, here
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Great man, great courage (according to me, at least)-
Great love. for his wife.
I too had to log in a few days ago. some sites have a timeout where after so many months you log in again or they were doing whatever it is they need to do to keep this big thing running. I'm still impressed by the site and how much comfort it has given so many people.
sorry that you're p'd at it Pirate. Miss you sgt at arms!
my mom and dad were married for 48 years when he died. I couldn't appreciate at the time how devastating it was for my mom. When I think of trying to be there for her and how she was to me I think I would be dead by now from the stress. I thought I was going to be dead before her or right after her.
Grateful I'm still here and thanks be to you ladies and Crowe for a big part of that! Didn't know you yet Ted.
Ol' Crowe would give me a shout out on the wall here and again.
I moved the boat.
The dockmaster would constantly break my balls about moving because we were on a 100ft dock with a 58' boat and the owner and I discussed it and I understood that if a big boat came in and the other docks were full, I would move to another slip. I said I get it but I don't want to hear about it every time I see you. the dockmaster, who is an employee, was there when the owner and I resolved the issue.
Well, first thing the other morning. I'm going up the dock to hit the head and the dockmaster sees me and says: Looks like you'll have to LEAVE. I just got a call from a big boat on the way in.
Me, knowing that 4 100' T Heads were EMPTY said:
Shut the F**k up I don't want to hear it.
He persisted, all pleased with himself and I just went to the bathroom and then walked down the dock to the boat where the boat angel and his helper were working and hollered:
I want this boat ready to move!
the helm was all torn apart and I said i want the throttle/tranny and a depth sounder now and boat angel had it hooked up in 5 minutes. Love the military.
I bet I had to hear 'you'll have to move the boat', 'we were talking about you moving your boat'. 'we have big boats coming in' at least 30 times over the 11 weeks I was there. BTW, these big boats never materialized, our boat never caused them to lose a dollar. Of course they profited from it.
I threw all the storm lines on deck and left the 3 lines on the boat and then the 3 of us had the temerity to go to lunch.
I called a 30 year Navy/Merchant Marine guy and his wife and said: wanna go for a boat ride? Happy time!
So we outta there.
Remember when i mentioned that by BP was way up when i was in the last 3-4 months of caring for mom?
I had hit 160/ 120 and that is not good.
The day before the dockmaster incident i got to 111/74 which is more like it. I told the guy that I was here to heal and not be screwed with. I told him 3 times. Idiot.
We are now in a different way off the beaten path spot. Nice.
have a good day my Crew.
If your crews get out of hand, act like a Captain.
(At this time please interject the image of Captain Morgan [rum] and stand there with your leg up in the air)
lovbob
I really despise people who are such a mess themselves that they think they have to keep other people 'on their toes'
oh please.
It's the human equivalent of poking something with a stick.
life is way too short.
lovbob
Jsomebody, you're right about the over-med thing. When I got mom back from the nursing home she was addicted to heavy doses of tracedone and had a broken vertebrae and a broken hip. It was a bitch getting her off the stuff.
Kuli i don't think that story was sad, I agree with Rossella, it was brave and beautiful.
Rip, Where can I book passage (pardon the pun) on the Hemlock Cruise?
love,
miz
have you hears about seniors who spend their golden years on cruises or living in hotels? Cheaper than nursing homes. Hope your computer is up soon. Mine have been very screwy lately ... dropping connections, etc.
Cats constantly on my lap doesn't help ... 3 just hopped on tp announce it's raining out.
Hey Bobbie ~ does the marina have live feed video? I'd love to see your interchanges with little dock man. From what you say you're moored in a high travel channel. Privacy sounds nice.
What a pain ~
So Kitty has learned some new word,s huh? She'll be cuss yeowing soon ,
Ted, Passage? Hemlock Cruise? You are the new chief of puns. I gladly relinquish my title. LOL When mom got her second knee replacement the docs sent me home an 83 yr old junkie from the vicadin. That was big fun. I watched her eyes glaze over like a shark & she hissed at me like a snake. Love you too mom.
Rosella, You are soooo right. Even negative attention is good attention & she must be the center of all at all times. She is a hoarder & was probably angry with me for disposing of the trash. I come thru like a whirlwind & dispose of things her twisted little mind would NEVER think of "throwing away". How dare I clean up after her piggy self! Too bad mom, if I have to do this I'm not going to be held liable for your mess also! If I must work in this environment it will be in some order & clean. It took three years to clean up my dad's place so it could be sold and I still haven't caught up with her highness's crap! What a hateful thing to do to someone! I spend my whole life cleaning her whole life! She has saved it for me all the way back to 1940!!!! What a waste. I pray no parent ever do this to another child. Hoarders suck!
I too had to re-login....updates I suppose.
Oh well, hope all of you are having a lovely weekend & it gets better for all of us. Good days, bad days, good days.
Have any of you all gotten flu shots or flu shots for the ones you are caring for? Hubby and I got ours on Thursday at my work for free and Mom got hers yesterday. I hate shots and they gave them in front of other employees at my work. I closed my eyes and I know I have an awful look on my face. Kind of embarrassing.
Anyway, not sure what to do with myself today. It's gloomy out. Maybe we'll have a good thunder boomer. Love those.
love,
miz
My brother was very determined to clear the house soon, so that he could give my mother to me (HA), and he threw everything away without looking too much at what he was doing. I hope he did not throw anything important; I had to take care of the books (thousands) and I did a nice job, looking one by one and deciding about their destiny. He used the strategy of putting everything he found in big sacks and hop! to the garbage bin!
I have another story to tell tonight. A funny (? funny?) one. It is called "the pellet stove" and "Rossella the removal man".
Until one month ago, my mother slept in her bedroom, adjacent to the living room where we have the TV and the pellet stove. (logically). One month ago, she decided she did not want to sleep in that bedroom, alone, without TV. Therefore, the girls and I moved some pieces of furniture, among which a huge table with 100 framed photos on it, and we put that table in my mother's bedroom, and my mother's bed in the living room. So she could watch television. Tonight, another turn of the fate! She does not want to see the pellet stove because she does not like to see the flames. I tried to explain to her that if I switch off the pellet stove, we are going to be cold. Those of you who have an Alzheimer parent know that it's impossible to convince them about anything. After one hour of "Switch if off, switch it off, switch it off, switch it off", a merry singsong, I actually switched off the stove, because the alternative was to put her in the stove. She is happy now, in her cold room. I am in my room with my kerosene stove and I am very well. I put an extra blanket on her bed, and a blanket on her shoulders. But, unfortunately, real winter is coming soon and we can't throw away the pellet stove because she does not like it. (it cost a lot of money, by the way, but I am saving a lot of money of gas) So, as tomorrov my brother is coming, I have decided that he has to become a happy removal brother. We are going to put my mother's bed in her bedroom again; the big photoful-table (which is in my mother's bedroom, now) in the living room, again; the TV set in my mother's bedroom, and the hideous evil pellet stove will be all alone in the living room, so I shall be able to switch it on when my mother does not see it.
Shall we become crazy? Shall we become saints?
I know that this story will make many bells ring....
I love my dad so much but he still frustrates me daily.
Lord knows we never thought we'd be here ... but are. In the deepest depths of it!
Please keep sharing ....
love,
miz
It's almost as good as jumping into the sea when you are hot.-
Austin, I would like my mother to be so rational. She shoud wear socks, but she takes them off during the night. One of my cats would like to sleep with her, but she sends her away! She has no more patience with animals and children. It is a pity because she used to love them (animals and children, I mean). This is a nasty disease!
I think violence is the normal progression of the disease. At least this is what many ladies told me, here