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The first night my wife went in the mental ward of the hospital, Thursday, I was only able to sleep 4 hours. Friday night, I got about 5 hours of sleep. Last night I got around 9-10 hours of sleep and still feel very drained. She's resisting one medicine change, lamictal, until she can see the for real psychiatrist on Monday plus get her own psychiatrist's input for her GP MD told her a few months ago that her body may have reached a toxic level with the symptoms she was having. I can tell she's confused for she talks about coming home the middle of next week but that on Friday they might take her to see her neurologist for that appt. she already has. I think what will happen is that she might get out on Wed. of Thanksgiving week. I don't know yet what that will mean for Thanksgiving for visiting her mother inflicts much stress although that is one of the few times that she can see her identical twin sister.
I'm waiting to hear from the CPA next week when I can pick up my mom and step-dad's 2009 tax return.
I guess my system has down geared so low that the tiredness that I've been carrying is overwhelming. I need more sleep and I can get more sleep. I called a very good friend of mine and our family on Thursday to please give me a call back. When they called back, they said that I sounded so pitiful that they made sure to call me back once they checked their cell phone messages. We had a good conversation. I had no idea that I sounded that bad off. They are very knowledgeable of my wife's hospitalizations because they helped the rest of us survive those hellish years of one hospitalization after another from 2000-2002.
Crowe, I don't know the reason why your wife never meets her twin sister, but I just wonder (knowing that twin sisters/brothers generally mean a lot to each other, and if they are identical the bond is even stronger): would't be nice if they met more often? Don't answer if you don't want to. Bobbie, I am glad I have shared with you one of the highest pleasures in my life. Squeezing cats is an art that you have to learn gradually, in order not to transform your cats into soles (those flat fishes)
The problem is her worshipfullness, queen mommy dearest either because if SIL was down here for several days without being there for her mother's beckon call or if my wife went up there it would be impossible to have hardly anytime together without the 'wicked witch of the west." We live 3 1/2 hour drive from them. It is too bad that my SIL moved back to where her mother lived and worse that at a point where she and her husband did not have to be there, not pick somewhere else to live. My wife has been told my her therapist to never live very close to her mother ever given the damage she did to her. Generally speaking, my wife gets to see her sister on Thanksgiving, Christmas and in June for a series of meeting that SIL and I attend in another town.
it's a pity that these two sisters can't see each other more. If I have understood, the problem is not between them, it's just their mother. Can't they agree to meet each other without their mother present, even without their mother knowing it? Maybe it could help both of them! Probably they miss each other. Miz and Ted, it's not life that sucks. Life is wonderful. Other people suck. sometimes!
You have understood correctly. The problem is their mom. It was a problem when each of her daughters got married. It was a problem when each of our children were born and much younger. It was a problem for 10 years of our marriage having 'mom' with us on every vacation trip; going to her mother's for every thanksgiving, Christmas as well as birthdays. Eight years ago, I said no more mom going on vacations or staying in our house. That's a very long story in itself.
I think my wife misses her twin sister more than vice a versa. Given that 'mom' raised my wife more than her twin daughter, when everyone is together my wife sometimes goes over to the mental health dark side that comes from her mom. SIL and I plus our boys can only take so much of that mess. It's harder on SIL than it is on me.
My wife went through a phase toward the end of dealing with her mom where she wanted to return to the little girl world of her and her sister sleeping in the same bed which is what they did through high school as well as rooming together for four years in an all girls college. SIL and I both adamantly said no. SIL told me that she was so glad to get out of that bed once they went to college. Also, SIL got married much younger than my wife did. Her mom would love nothing better than for both or her sons in laws to drop dead, divorce or just leave because she still wants them all to herself just for herself. BTW, while my MIL is old, her daughter would never be able to keep a secret trip secret. I do hope that my SIL does not go to her heavenly home before my MIL's name is written in stone.
I look forward to the day when 6 ft underground my MIL lay. She has eternity for all her crap to pay.
Ashes to ashes I wish not soon for my SIL though. It will be a day of incredible sorrow, when she does go.
More painful than when mom, dad, step-dad, and step mom are gone. Will be that day when my SIL goes to her eternal home. However, I pray it will be long after her mother's name is written in stone!
What will I do, if one day my wife should die. Twill be tough to find a woman who is ok with me and that is not a lie.
Your sister in law seems stronger, but in fact it is your mother in law who still decides about the life of both her daughters, Isn't it? (Directly of indirectly). I think it is time for conspiracy: 3 hours of distance means 1 hour and a half if you meet between the two cities. It means that you and your wife, and your SIL and her husband, could spend some week ends together without your MIL present, in a place which does not mean anything for anyone, so it's better. A fresh start of a relationship between two sisters. Maybe the first time they would not feel at ease because they would think that they are unfair to their mother, but I bet the second time they would be much happier. You could arrange it with your SIL's husband. Do you think it is possible?
back then we always went to my mil for thanksgiving christmas once in awhile it be new years eve easter , birthdays mother s day . well i ended up begin a gma and all my kids lives near me , my mil lives almost 1 hr and half drive . we all be whiney about going up there , i finaly snapped and said u know what ! ? i am a grandma now and everybody wants to come home for the holidays . i told my mil we are staying home and she is more welcome to come here . and now that dad is here and he s worst shape than my mil by gosh we are staying home . im not draggin dad out . you know what its been almost 3 years i havent been to my mil s house . feels great !!!! i do miss going to her house tho . she has mention why we never go see her on holidays i told her cuz we all live down here and its cheaper on gas just to come here . my kids works very hard for thier money and struggling to get by . i need to call my bil and invite them to come here for thanksgiving , then that means they ll stay here for 4 days . :-( i dont mind if it just an over night but the whole weekend awww come on ! yep life is wonderful ! lalala , ah better go call my bil and tell him mom and him is welcome here for thanksgiving . they stayed home last year . maybe they ll stay home again this year . been a busy day , cutting wood in the woods , saw 2 deer hoppin zoomin by , felt soo good to be in the woods , ohh i just love it . very peaceful and no stress , found a dead mink layin out on a road . awww . then came home ended up babysitting my 13 mos old grandson . hes a pleasure ! he looks so much like his daddy when he was his age . oh i just love him so much ! ok gotta go , xoxoxo
"I have forgiven mistakes that were unforgivable, I have tried to replace those who were unreplaceable and tried to forget those who were unforgettable. I have done things on impulse. I have been let down by those whom I thought would never let me down, but I have also let others down. I have laughed when It was almost impossible to laugh. I have held someone to protect them. I have made life long friends, I’ve loved and been loved. I have screamed and jumped for joy, I have lived on love and made eternal promises of love. I have fallen many times. I have cried while listening to music and also when looking at photos. I have called someone just to hear their voice. I have fallen in love with a smile. I have also thought I was going to die from loosing someone special and I did loose them! but I lived! And I still live! I don’t allow life to pass me by and neither should you! Live! What is really good is to fight with determination, embrace life and live it with passion! Loose your battles with class and dare to win because the world belongs to those who dare and life, Life is worth too much to be insignificant…" Charlie Chaplin
Yes, neither my SIL or my wife are as free as they could be for "mommy dearest" does pull some direct and indirect strings. SIL is the stronger because she was raised mainly by her very nurturing father. She became a rescuing type person and married a very passive man who is somewhat like her father but with his own unique issues which make him hard to deal with directly. We have learned to stay in a hotel when we visit up there and for only a certain number of days. Thankfully, her mother has learned that the house question is out, so they stay in a hotel here. That works very well for my SIL who is a uterine cancer survivor since 2001 for she likes to go back and sleep. My SIL and I talk a lot during the year on our cell phones. We sort of come up with a basic plan for a visit and then she discusses it with her sister and her mother in that order. If her mother ever knew that I had any input, she would go into a royal rage. BTW, after I started putting down boundaries in 2002 and we moved into another house, I put my foot down and said our children should have some memories of Christmas in their own home and that goes for Thanksgiving too. So, we have done this more often with Christmas than Thanksgiving. Plus, Christmas has developed into we either meet somewhere to exchange gifts like a couple of nights in a hotel or they come to our house and stay at the hotel. They are coming here this year. BTW, for some odd genetic reason, my SIL was not able to get pregnant due to a prepubescent uterus which, not to get too technical, means that a sperm and egg cannot attach to the wall of the womb. The conspiracy idea might work better after our youngest goes to college next year and we can try such a get away during the week when the hotel rates are lower.
Significance is a tough term to define because we evaluate it by such a wide variety of measures, not all of which are all that significant. I read a history book once that was written in honor of those whose names are not in the history books. In other words, we are significant regardless of our name appearing or not appearing in some book. While I know this intellectually, I don't always feel this way.
Crowe, I can just say that I am sorry that even your sister in law can't make any plan without telling her mother! That woman (MIL) must be very powerful.
I have a little story for the other "Alzheimer children": My mother woke up this morning realizing she is a widow. When I told her my brother would come and take her to the restaurant, she said: "I can't go, because my husband is dead". My father's death is still very painful for me too, but 15 years have passed so I am quite used to the idea. So I told my mother: "The fact that your husband is dead can't prevent you from going to the restaurant with your son" and she looked at me as if I were a cynical monster. Anyway, she accepted to get up and get dressed, but she wanted all her clothes black. As I am not intelligent enough to foresee this kind of situations, I realized I did not have any clean black trousers for her. Either they were dirty, or they were getting dry. We had only a pair of green trousers for her. I had to take her to the porch 100 times to show her that the black trousers were wet, and they were getting dry on the drying rack. At least she accepted the green trousers, but she wanted black sweater and jacket. At least, I had those.The real problem arose with shoes. She wanted black shoes, but she does not have them. Her feet are so ruined that she has to wear those sandals that are opened everywhere, and that have bands with velcro. I never found black ones, and she has a red pair and a light blue pair. She did not want any of them because red and blue were not colours which she would wear in a day of mourning. So I said: "Ok, don't put any shoes on". And I left her with her socks. I decided that my brother could solve this problem. In fact as soon as my brother arrived, she put on the blue sandals and to the restaurant they went! I am thinking of bringing my mother in front of the District Attorney's ("our" DA) door, ring the bell and escape! I am going to leave my mother with him for one whole week! He will open for me another bank account so I take her back!
My MIL is to our family what Darth Vader was to Star Wars, yet past redemption. I'm trying to be a good Jedi as well as teach my sons plus I've spent hours going over various materials or loaning written materials with my SIL which has helped her greatly. If, I loose my SIL before my MIL dies all hell is going to break loose and it will really test how much freedom my wife has gained from 'mommy dearest.' BTW, and not that this matters any, but I'm the executor of my SIL;s estate which she has only told to me and I've been told where the will is in the house.
talked to my bil . he s thrilled and said he will come for thanksgiving with mom . he s takin care of her and bless his heart . he told me she ask him why did all the leaves fall off the tree ? he said cuz its fall and they always fall off the tree s . she said but they never have before and why are they every where on the ground ? blew him away . he said mom soon the snow will be fallin down from the sky . she didnt know what he was talking about , what snow ?? uhhh so so sad . :-( talk about alz , i hate them things !!! goodnight you all . just be glad you still have ur mind and live ur life like rossella said . enjoy em ! xoxo
Crowe, I don't know why your SIL should die before your MIL. It is very unlikely! MIL has convinced you too, that she is eternal? There is a crime book by Agatha Christie. "appointment with death" which I strongly suggest you to read. One of the main characters is an old lady who likes to keep all the family under control. I don't tell you more because I hope you read that book. It would be very liberating for you, even if you don't like Agatha Christie, In fact, it is one of her best books and the environment is fascinating (Petra in Jordan). It's very liberating for me, anyway! Linda I am frightened by what you said. The only thing that I did not have yet, is my mother complaining about leaves falling! I hope your BIL's mother did not complain, she just wanted to know. My mother would certainly complain!
rossellamex, no mommy dearest is not eternal, but here is the basis for my concern. As an ovarian cancer survivor from both the regular and experimental treatments, my SIL (54) has both lived beyond the statistics since 2001 plus has intestinal and other related complications which could likely kill her before or if the cancer comes back. As far as ears and eyes go, my MIL is falling apart, but otherwise is going strong in her 70ties. BTW, my dad is 86 and going strong also. HIs wife is younger but has pulmonary fibrosis and is going downhill.
I had another freak out last night. Nobody (except you guys) seems to get it. I'M Worn OUT! It's incredible, yesterday i got to the point that i was thinking "they are right, I don't deserve any kind of attention or care or even to be heard. how loud can I get? is it true? am I the problem here? Is it wrong of me to be thinking that I deserve what is mine? must be. is my "place" that of some kind of slave who should just shut up and be grateful for the crumbs? screw this. i can't even think straight anymore and everyone is still trying to wear me down and keep taking whatever little bit i have left. and so now I feel like a shit for making a scene on the phone with my brother. HE Hasn't seen me or mom in twenty years and he's telling me I"M SCREWED UP? YES! I"M SCREWED UP! YES! Frikin Help Me! I know I'm just a mark to them, someone to rip off and pile their responsibilities on but dam it there is no one else to go to.
Crowe, I am sorry, I really hope for the best for your SIL. Ted, try not to worry about what the other people think. We have already many things to worry about!
Ted, I'm still a newbie here and even though I have been trying to read and catch up on everyone as best as I can so I can learn more about you all, I'm still not understanding who you are caring for and what is going on in your life with your caring. You sound so miserable and I wish there was a way to make your day brighter and less painful...........
Thanks, jam. I care for my 82 year old mom who suffers dementia from continual TIA's or min-strokes. After a severe TIA about 5 years ago, I put mom in a home because she was pretty much out of it, but she eventually recuperated, and every day when i would call her there, she would cry and tell me how much she wanted to come home. My father had just passed away, and so knowing I was about inherit some money, I took mom back home to care for her, thinking she was on her way out, and wanted to come home to die. Well, that was four years ago, I have been through my savings caring for her, and my sister has just informed me that she is keeping alot of the estate for herself, and if I don't like that, I can sue her. I can't leave mom alone for too long at a time so a job is very hard to find, and Home care would cost more than I would make. My sister and brother don't help or call or even visit, but are quick to put me down whenever I call for support and I am worn out, frustrated, and feeling abused and taken advantage of. I didn't really expect this to last so long and I never would have tried it if I knew I would have to do it just on her income, which isn't much. So, lately i am feeling very trapped, and just can't figure out how to put things right.
I understand that you have every right to feel that way......it just amazes me how the siblings who are not helping act like they deserve something. Out of 5 children I am the only one who sees my mother...2 of the others like to tell me how heart-broken they will be when she dies....oh please....and when was the last time they visited.......Did your father's estate go to your mother? Do you have POA for your mother? Have you considered placing her back in a nursing home? I know it seems like a terrible thing to do to a loved one, but sometimes that is the best route to take. You must take care of yourself, but it sounds like your hands are so full that you don't or can't give yourself any time. If your mother is suffering dementia would she really know where she is or is she still lucid enough to be aware of what's going on around her? I don't know which state you are in so you could get some kind of assistance......my mother is in nursing home here....put herself there......but Medicaid foots the bill entirely and she is happy. My mil, whom I am caring for, is still in her own home but attached to our home by way of a locked door....:) I will continue to take care of her as long as I can......if and when the time comes that I can no longer care for her then she will be placed in a nursing home. Have you called your local Family Services or Division of Aging to see what kinds of assistance they can give you? It's possible Medicare will pay for visiting nurses, etc to give you a break from the constant everyday care. I know what it feels like when you think no one is there.......please feel free to yell to your heart's content here.........I know there are others here to listen......you are a good person.
Thanks, Again, I am meeting with the cargiver support agent from the agency on aging today, and she is trying to get me some respite vouchers so that I can take a break, step back a bit and try to work this all out. But sometimes it just seems like an impossible situation.
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The first night my wife went in the mental ward of the hospital, Thursday, I was only able to sleep 4 hours. Friday night, I got about 5 hours of sleep. Last night I got around 9-10 hours of sleep and still feel very drained. She's resisting one medicine change, lamictal, until she can see the for real psychiatrist on Monday plus get her own psychiatrist's input for her GP MD told her a few months ago that her body may have reached a toxic level with the symptoms she was having. I can tell she's confused for she talks about coming home the middle of next week but that on Friday they might take her to see her neurologist for that appt. she already has. I think what will happen is that she might get out on Wed. of Thanksgiving week. I don't know yet what that will mean for Thanksgiving for visiting her mother inflicts much stress although that is one of the few times that she can see her identical twin sister.
I'm waiting to hear from the CPA next week when I can pick up my mom and step-dad's 2009 tax return.
I guess my system has down geared so low that the tiredness that I've been carrying is overwhelming. I need more sleep and I can get more sleep. I called a very good friend of mine and our family on Thursday to please give me a call back. When they called back, they said that I sounded so pitiful that they made sure to call me back once they checked their cell phone messages. We had a good conversation. I had no idea that I sounded that bad off. They are very knowledgeable of my wife's hospitalizations because they helped the rest of us survive those hellish years of one hospitalization after another from 2000-2002.
I will be glad to see my therapist on Tuesday.
We love you.
lovbob
Bobbie, I am glad I have shared with you one of the highest pleasures in my life. Squeezing cats is an art that you have to learn gradually, in order not to transform your cats into soles (those flat fishes)
The problem is her worshipfullness, queen mommy dearest either because if SIL was down here for several days without being there for her mother's beckon call or if my wife went up there it would be impossible to have hardly anytime together without the 'wicked witch of the west." We live 3 1/2 hour drive from them. It is too bad that my SIL moved back to where her mother lived and worse that at a point where she and her husband did not have to be there, not pick somewhere else to live. My wife has been told my her therapist to never live very close to her mother ever given the damage she did to her. Generally speaking, my wife gets to see her sister on Thanksgiving, Christmas and in June for a series of meeting that SIL and I attend in another town.
Miz and Ted, it's not life that sucks. Life is wonderful. Other people suck. sometimes!
You have understood correctly. The problem is their mom. It was a problem when each of her daughters got married. It was a problem when each of our children were born and much younger. It was a problem for 10 years of our marriage having 'mom' with us on every vacation trip; going to her mother's for every thanksgiving, Christmas as well as birthdays. Eight years ago, I said no more mom going on vacations or staying in our house. That's a very long story in itself.
I think my wife misses her twin sister more than vice a versa. Given that 'mom' raised my wife more than her twin daughter, when everyone is together my wife sometimes goes over to the mental health dark side that comes from her mom. SIL and I plus our boys can only take so much of that mess. It's harder on SIL than it is on me.
My wife went through a phase toward the end of dealing with her mom where she wanted to return to the little girl world of her and her sister sleeping in the same bed which is what they did through high school as well as rooming together for four years in an all girls college. SIL and I both adamantly said no. SIL told me that she was so glad to get out of that bed once they went to college. Also, SIL got married much younger than my wife did. Her mom would love nothing better than for both or her sons in laws to drop dead, divorce or just leave because she still wants them all to herself just for herself. BTW, while my MIL is old, her daughter would never be able to keep a secret trip secret. I do hope that my SIL does not go to her heavenly home before my MIL's name is written in stone.
I look forward to the day when 6 ft underground my MIL lay.
She has eternity for all her crap to pay.
Ashes to ashes I wish not soon for my SIL though.
It will be a day of incredible sorrow, when she does go.
More painful than when mom, dad, step-dad, and step mom are gone.
Will be that day when my SIL goes to her eternal home.
However, I pray it will be long after her mother's name is written in stone!
What will I do, if one day my wife should die.
Twill be tough to find a woman who is ok with me and that is not a lie.
well i ended up begin a gma and all my kids lives near me , my mil lives almost 1 hr and half drive . we all be whiney about going up there , i finaly snapped and said u know what ! ? i am a grandma now and everybody wants to come home for the holidays . i told my mil we are staying home and she is more welcome to come here . and now that dad is here and he s worst shape than my mil by gosh we are staying home . im not draggin dad out .
you know what its been almost 3 years i havent been to my mil s house . feels great !!!! i do miss going to her house tho .
she has mention why we never go see her on holidays i told her cuz we all live down here and its cheaper on gas just to come here . my kids works very hard for thier money and struggling to get by .
i need to call my bil and invite them to come here for thanksgiving , then that means they ll stay here for 4 days . :-( i dont mind if it just an over night but the whole weekend awww come on !
yep life is wonderful ! lalala ,
ah better go call my bil and tell him mom and him is welcome here for thanksgiving . they stayed home last year . maybe they ll stay home again this year .
been a busy day , cutting wood in the woods , saw 2 deer hoppin zoomin by , felt soo good to be in the woods , ohh i just love it . very peaceful and no stress , found a dead mink layin out on a road . awww . then came home ended up babysitting my 13 mos old grandson . hes a pleasure ! he looks so much like his daddy when he was his age . oh i just love him so much ! ok gotta go , xoxoxo
love,
miz
You deserve respect!
Yes, neither my SIL or my wife are as free as they could be for "mommy dearest" does pull some direct and indirect strings. SIL is the stronger because she was raised mainly by her very nurturing father. She became a rescuing type person and married a very passive man who is somewhat like her father but with his own unique issues which make him hard to deal with directly. We have learned to stay in a hotel when we visit up there and for only a certain number of days. Thankfully, her mother has learned that the house question is out, so they stay in a hotel here. That works very well for my SIL who is a uterine cancer survivor since 2001 for she likes to go back and sleep. My SIL and I talk a lot during the year on our cell phones. We sort of come up with a basic plan for a visit and then she discusses it with her sister and her mother in that order. If her mother ever knew that I had any input, she would go into a royal rage. BTW, after I started putting down boundaries in 2002 and we moved into another house, I put my foot down and said our children should have some memories of Christmas in their own home and that goes for Thanksgiving too. So, we have done this more often with Christmas than Thanksgiving. Plus, Christmas has developed into we either meet somewhere to exchange gifts like a couple of nights in a hotel or they come to our house and stay at the hotel. They are coming here this year. BTW, for some odd genetic reason, my SIL was not able to get pregnant due to a prepubescent uterus which, not to get too technical, means that a sperm and egg cannot attach to the wall of the womb. The conspiracy idea might work better after our youngest goes to college next year and we can try such a get away during the week when the hotel rates are lower.
I have a little story for the other "Alzheimer children": My mother woke up this morning realizing she is a widow. When I told her my brother would come and take her to the restaurant, she said: "I can't go, because my husband is dead". My father's death is still very painful for me too, but 15 years have passed so I am quite used to the idea. So I told my mother: "The fact that your husband is dead can't prevent you from going to the restaurant with your son" and she looked at me as if I were a cynical monster. Anyway, she accepted to get up and get dressed, but she wanted all her clothes black. As I am not intelligent enough to foresee this kind of situations, I realized I did not have any clean black trousers for her. Either they were dirty, or they were getting dry. We had only a pair of green trousers for her. I had to take her to the porch 100 times to show her that the black trousers were wet, and they were getting dry on the drying rack. At least she accepted the green trousers, but she wanted black sweater and jacket. At least, I had those.The real problem arose with shoes. She wanted black shoes, but she does not have them. Her feet are so ruined that she has to wear those sandals that are opened everywhere, and that have bands with velcro. I never found black ones, and she has a red pair and a light blue pair. She did not want any of them because red and blue were not colours which she would wear in a day of mourning. So I said: "Ok, don't put any shoes on". And I left her with her socks. I decided that my brother could solve this problem. In fact as soon as my brother arrived, she put on the blue sandals and to the restaurant they went!
I am thinking of bringing my mother in front of the District Attorney's ("our" DA) door, ring the bell and escape! I am going to leave my mother with him for one whole week! He will open for me another bank account so I take her back!
Translates in any language. Thankfully ours.
Your patience is overwhelming, lady!
My MIL is to our family what Darth Vader was to Star Wars, yet past redemption. I'm trying to be a good Jedi as well as teach my sons plus I've spent hours going over various materials or loaning written materials with my SIL which has helped her greatly. If, I loose my SIL before my MIL dies all hell is going to break loose and it will really test how much freedom my wife has gained from 'mommy dearest.' BTW, and not that this matters any, but I'm the executor of my SIL;s estate which she has only told to me and I've been told where the will is in the house.
so so sad . :-( talk about alz , i hate them things !!!
goodnight you all . just be glad you still have ur mind and live ur life like rossella said . enjoy em ! xoxo
Linda I am frightened by what you said. The only thing that I did not have yet, is my mother complaining about leaves falling! I hope your BIL's mother did not complain, she just wanted to know. My mother would certainly complain!
screw this. i can't even think straight anymore and everyone is still trying to wear me down and keep taking whatever little bit i have left. and so now I feel like a shit for making a scene on the phone with my brother. HE Hasn't seen me or mom in twenty years and he's telling me I"M SCREWED UP?
YES! I"M SCREWED UP! YES! Frikin Help Me!
I know I'm just a mark to them, someone to rip off and pile their responsibilities on but dam it there is no one else to go to.
Ted, try not to worry about what the other people think. We have already many things to worry about!
Well, that was four years ago, I have been through my savings caring for her, and my sister has just informed me that she is keeping alot of the estate for herself, and if I don't like that, I can sue her. I can't leave mom alone for too long at a time so a job is very hard to find, and Home care would cost more than I would make.
My sister and brother don't help or call or even visit, but are quick to put me down whenever I call for support and I am worn out, frustrated, and feeling abused and taken advantage of.
I didn't really expect this to last so long and I never would have tried it if I knew I would have to do it just on her income, which isn't much.
So, lately i am feeling very trapped, and just can't figure out how to put things right.