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Hey Miz! You're a keeper! So's everybody on our thread and that's a nice story to post here.
Personally, I am aware of how fragile the whole thing is. That's why I got a BOAT!
Boat angel turned into boat devil and is now boat banned. If he tries to show up I'll sic the cat on him. Boat is fine, cap is fine, cat is fine. Moving on. why? because Life is Short.
Love you guys and let's get on with the day's discourse.
Ted?? whassup? use the week to find respite for your mom. somewhere deep down in your molecular center you know you have to do this. so do it and LIVE!! Find a place near you and go visit her.
Mom's place was 5 minutes from my apt in LA and I went everyday. I put a big calendar up in her room and with a red dry erase I put a red heart every day I was there. I would bring her a treat or show up and take her out. We grew strong enough to take her home (across the country) so she could die in her own little bed. Without that respite I couldn't have done that.
Love ya buddy whatever you decide but try to remember that you are not thinking straight just like I wasn't thinking straight.
Drugs:
I, too, did not want to go the anti depressant route. I think that it was Crowe who said that I needed to look into that more closely so I didn't compound my issues with severe depression. i went back on Prozac and Xanax and it really helped me get through this awful time. The stuff works and I am now Prozac and Xanax free now that the incredible strain of caregiving and dealing with all of my mom's business issues are diminishing.
This is not easy and by all means use what tools you can!
kuli - castoff . your story touched my heart . sweet and makin me appreicate life more . bobbie - glad ure drug free . begin on the boat its makin u cheery happy go lady . i cant wait to hop on barbara b .
pa s sleepin all day , wake all night . he s trying to get out of the bed but yet cant do it . feet and legs are danglin on the side of the bed . hubby woke me up 230 am said pa s yellin screamin . went in there geeze he s wet from top and bottom . i just changed him at 1 am before i went to bed ! peepeepee and u know what ! his diapers dry ! that thing just manages to not to get his diaper wet . it was wet on the outside , sheets drippin wet tshirt all wet . got him takin care of and he says im hungry ! ahh dad its 3 in th e morning im going back to bed , goodnight . ( i fed him at midnight ) . woke up 830 and sure enuff his feet and legs are danglin on the side of bed . suprise his hindend didnt go boom to the floor . said i need a bar of soap i gotta take a shower ! i said yes u do pa and gave him a nice warm shower . and sis fixed him pancake . now he s all happy guy . its like havin a infant all over again . every 2 hrs im hungry , every 2 hrs i peed . waa waa waaa . sis said geeze he needs 24-7 care . yep sis i know ... laundry piled up all wet and stinky , ah better light my candle , got one load a going and waitin for the 2nd load to go in . amazing how much stuff he goes thru .
yes i look around here my house looks cluttered and i think today oh maybe today i will do deep cleaning . bobbie- wheres that coffee ? ! :-) ok u all have a good day and please enjoy today cuz there might not be no tmr .... xoxox
Bobbie, I'm going to give it serious thought, but I can't help thinking that I am all she has. I really am, and in a way, she is all I have, as far as family goes. it's a tough one, but i promise to use that week to think as clearly and honestly as I can to sort out all the aspects of the decision, and to commit myself to living with and not second guessing the decision when it is made. Thank you all for being here for me.
I meant to write Kuli!! You're a keeper! so is Miz and so is the whole crew!
Cast... you know your mom has dementia.. Doctors can be real morons and your mom is doing what mine did as far as the masking and the behaviors. See if she can draw a clock. Round/numbers. Great test. Crazy making! Dementia and moving on!
Love ya kid and really want to see you on the boat if you wanna.
Kuli! just getting to know you a little. Sweet girl. buncha hard working angels.
Jen, re: ramp/inspectors/unnecessary time delay/puckering. the main reason that we will fail as a country is that no one knows how to work together. The Germans have a word for it. Schagenfreud. Of course the Germans would. those humanitarians. Schagenfreud. 'taking pleasure at someone else's misfortune' That smug little feeling of 'they can't get what they want'. Imagine it with the facial expression of civil servants like your building inspector, Tennessee's idiots that she's dealing with from the DA to all the lawyers, etc.
An industry has taken over the country like a cancer and it is the psychopathic idea of just because you can, you do. Driven by lawyers.
People delight in saying no when they could easily say yes. it can kill a Democracy.
Look at Congress. Obama is not a bad President. When my mom campaigned for Nixon in 1960, and she campaigned HARD, and Kennedy won, some people just didn't want to let go. She chastised them and said, 'He is our President now. Get behind him.'
This from a woman who lived through the GREAT Depression, FDR, WWII and a PTSD husband.
Where is that thinking now? We NEED that thinking.
Just Because You Can, You Do:
Why did Bristol Palin win Dancing with the Stars? Because they are testing the electorate. The Tea Party's phone trees. Period. The networks are just now starting to catch up with it. Brande was clearly the superior dancer and it is sad that she has worked at her craft all these years and any other season she may have emerged as the winner, but not this year.
This year we are going to f**k with America. That's right folks! This Season on Dancing With the Stars.... F**KING WITH AMERICA!!
Wait, are you saying the single teen mom who makes a living telling others how wonderful abstinence is won a dancing contest against a life long professional performer? Boat.
I,too, could not believe the results. What no one has explained is why was she a contestant to begin with...a star? Hubby likes to watch this show - guess I'll just go read.
Yesterday, with pristine timing to the DWTS outcome, Sarah Palin announced unofficially for the 2012 race.
I tried to watch the Alaska show because I love Alaska. I think SP's just adorable, but kind of like Jessica Simpson. Just put on some Daisy Dukes but don't ask for the keys to the nuclear codes.
Anyhoo, I tried to watch the Alaska show and in part of it you can hear her say to one of her children, after pulling a little stunt on someone: 'See? We one-upped him! Yeah. We one-upped him!'
There's another form of unhealthy thinking when you're trying to save a country.
Murkowski winning is another thing to take note of. The Alaskans are sick of SP in government too.
Let her be a tv star! She'll make a bunch of money and get the attention she needs and be painful to watch just like a lot of the other reality shows. Speaking of painful: take note of the Bristol and 'the Situation' safe sex PSA (public servic announcment) that Ted mentioned. A real Squirmer!
Ted, calm down, get another toothbrush. It's very common. There are mouth swabs that have liquid in them for brushing the teeth, small sponges, she might not get so confused. Don't put the toothbrushes with the hair brushes. Why aren't your caregivers doing her personal hygiene for her including brushing her teeth. You need interaction with the people who care for her.
kiethsmom , ure so funny . cant always walk behind ur folks everytime they need to gobathroom . one step away for a quick moments ends up findin something folks do , realy gross ya out . my mother in law waits till everybodys in bed and snoring away and she has the whole house to herself . pees in trash can , peed in my daughter s coffee cup , u name it ! god knows what eles she has done and im afraid to know , bythe way it wasnt ted that mention toothbrushes , i advise u to read from page one . this has almost 6 thousand resposes , mmm wonder who will be the 6000?? prize anyone ? bobbie s boat wooo . btw keithsmom , welcome to this site ...
Just so everyone here knows, kiethsmom's post stems from a debate we are involved with on another thread; "With POA, does my brother have the right to film what goes on in my mother's bedroom?" It is a touchy subject and we have differing opinions. I respect her's and believe she respects mine, and she has apologized for her mistaken post here on my wall, which I have accepted. Ted.
Miz ask the doc his protcal about nitro I always was told you could give it twice and if the pain went away that was good if after the 2nd did not work then you call 911. Kuli Amen to what you said we uses to have a thread of a good thought for the day or something we were grateful for maybe it is time to start that again Jam why the spam folder? Castoff if that nurse was rude or talked down to you report her I am so tired of the nurses of today thinking they have a right to say whatever anywhere when my husband was on life support meds a nurse told my church friends-he is not really alive the meds are keeping him alive- this was while we were trying to figure out what was wrong with him and he was alert at that time-when I worked I would have been fired for saying that. We had a well known women as a pt. years ago in a coma and when she came out of the coma she told us what she had heard us say about her, I raised cain at our senior center today sticking up for a real good women and I am so glad I did-I can imagine what is being said about me I can just hear my husband's spirit saying to God I told you she is a b----. oh well. I see they have this thread back on the inbox notation.
Still reading posts, just too tired to add much these days. Hope everyone is doing OK...The ramp IS functional now, roofing on and scratchy as all get out...waiting on the railing, and yes it is something the inspector has to approve yes....so we should have railing up by....March I am thinking....
Hmm politics and popular cultuer wars...beh. I am reading my teenage vampire romance novels over...
Tonight, I'm going downtown for a long while. My wife's therapist says it is best for a while that my wife and I are not hanging around each other a lot or our depression will feed off of each other. Amen. That's why I have been in my 'Man Cave" for the last 3 hours.
I only have two things to share before for the night I"m gone.
1st, on Friday, I pick up my mom and step-dad's 2009 taxes to turn in which concludes a year long journey of cleaning up since 2005 that I've been in.
2nd, we enmeshed children of usually our mom's all too often become the over functioning caregiver who burns out because we really believe that if mommy is not happy then no one is happy and our main job in life is to make mom happy but it ends up that no one is happy.
Man I got upset with at work last week showed up today. He was nicer to me than he ever has been. I'm sure he has some dementia going on. I feel sorry for him as long as he does not disrespect or belittle me.
Damn it. The 5 stars are not showing up. What, is there a limit of one from one person? That be stupid. Illinois basketball game tonight. I'll be tired tomorrow but I'm watching it. Mom's not feeling good. :( Gonna go check on her. Love yous.
There's a problem with my prescriptions. I knew there would be. Stinkin' doctor's office and insurance co. and pharmacy. Wouldn't you think they wouldn't screw with my anxiety meds? Are they stupid? It's just one dang thing after another. I need to learn to expect the worst I guess. :))
hey Miz ~ Hard to believe the system can be so ignorant! If all else fails, hug the pets. Sorry to hear you're dealing with the mess of it all.
I have a friend, Deb, a 6' 2" blazing blonde. Quite a presensence in any situation. Not one to ever be around should she get in anyone's face or a medical crisis.
One day the pharmacy in a large store didn't have her meds ready, tho confirmed by the Dr's office. We waited ... & waited ...
Suddenly she poofed her well dressed self even bigger, sparkling jewlery blinging, stood taller than possible, turned bright red & announced :
"My doctor has sent in my script. Twice!!! Have you not got it? Have you ever seen a women without her estrogen? Are you ready to see me have a major hot flash in your face? Is this whole store prepared for me to lose it b/c you have yet to fill the prescription??? What the F*** is your professional problem???". She went on a bit, softening, getting more attention from people who understood ... gainng a following.
"I've had better service ordering unknown food in a Chinese Restaurant where they didn't speak English!".
It was theartical & amazing how quickly they filled her meds! I, her quiet, friendly driver, skulk quietly away fro the counter leading the proud peacock carrying her little white bag gallantly in front of her.
She is a wedding planner. Watch out brides!
The mean man wasn't mad today? Yay! Anger is not productive as we all know. Kill him with kindness. Watch him melt. You are naturally so sweet ... at least we know it on this thread! Might be contagious ~
Ted ... days away, huh? Happy & envious! Where will you go? What will you do? Sorry if I'm snoopy ... just thinking how much you need a rest.
I hope it's a great time when you can forget about care giving. Empty your mind & relax. Collect some creative thoughts & think forward.
I'm constantly wondering how to reinvent my creativity, build something new rather than stagnate.
Hoping everyone on thread is well & not too frustrated. Man ... it's going around this area. Cold, dark, rainy days. People on edge ~
Hope none of you encounter my friend Deb needing her meds in your pharmacy ! If so, stand away & learn.
I sit here on the West Coast, late time zone, looking at one more comment on "Grossed" to be the 5,700 th post!
Wow, Bobbie! You really started something huge! Not even a year & you have brought together so many amazing people with much in common. True friends!
Yet all very different. Bobbie the Trendsetter! Bravo for YOU!
so , quietly wondering, will the next poster win a free pass to the Barbara B? Hog Wash!!! We all are abord one way or another! The Magical Barbara B ... keeping us all afloat!
Thanks, Bobbie & crew members & all your very special pets.
Howdy all, Rip, I'm getting out of this lttle town and sitting my butt down in the middle of a big old city (well, Kinda big, bigger than here anyway,) and take it as it comes. No Itinerary, no Plans with people, nothing. Just gonna let my mind wind down on its own pace, take in a couple museums, sit and people-watch in cafe's, etc., and soak up the vibrancy and energy that I grew up with in NYC. I know we all change over time as we should, but I feel like I need to remember a little about the person I used to be so I can include him in the person that I am growing to be. unfortunately, I've decided to wait until after the holidays to go. I just can't bring myself to leave mom in a home surrounded by strangers over the holidays, knowing that if she's lucky, my brother and sister MIGHT call for a couple of minutes at most. Ive just gotta hold it all together for a few more weeks and then....
I'm with you on the creativity thing, I don't know whether I've lost that because I'm so miserable, or that I'm miserable because I lost that. The more I look at things the more I realize that I have put myself away completely in my effort to care for and please mom, and that's not good.
By the way, when i get back, can I borrow Deb sometime? Cause I plan to striaghten alot of people out!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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So's everybody on our thread and that's a nice story to post here.
Personally, I am aware of how fragile the whole thing is.
That's why I got a BOAT!
Boat angel turned into boat devil and is now boat banned.
If he tries to show up I'll sic the cat on him.
Boat is fine, cap is fine, cat is fine. Moving on. why?
because Life is Short.
Love you guys and let's get on with the day's discourse.
Ted?? whassup? use the week to find respite for your mom. somewhere deep down in your molecular center you know you have to do this. so do it and LIVE!!
Find a place near you and go visit her.
Mom's place was 5 minutes from my apt in LA and I went everyday. I put a big calendar up in her room and with a red dry erase I put a red heart every day I was there.
I would bring her a treat or show up and take her out. We grew strong enough to take her home (across the country) so she could die in her own little bed.
Without that respite I couldn't have done that.
Love ya buddy whatever you decide but try to remember that you are not thinking straight just like I wasn't thinking straight.
Drugs:
I, too, did not want to go the anti depressant route. I think that it was Crowe who said that I needed to look into that more closely so I didn't compound my issues with severe depression.
i went back on Prozac and Xanax and it really helped me get through this awful time.
The stuff works and I am now Prozac and Xanax free now that the incredible strain of caregiving and dealing with all of my mom's business issues are diminishing.
This is not easy and by all means use what tools you can!
lovbob
bobbie - glad ure drug free . begin on the boat its makin u cheery happy go lady . i cant wait to hop on barbara b .
pa s sleepin all day , wake all night . he s trying to get out of the bed but yet cant do it . feet and legs are danglin on the side of the bed . hubby woke me up 230 am said pa s yellin screamin . went in there geeze he s wet from top and bottom . i just changed him at 1 am before i went to bed ! peepeepee and u know what ! his diapers dry ! that thing just manages to not to get his diaper wet . it was wet on the outside , sheets drippin wet tshirt all wet .
got him takin care of and he says im hungry ! ahh dad its 3 in th e morning im going back to bed , goodnight . ( i fed him at midnight ) . woke up 830 and sure enuff his feet and legs are danglin on the side of bed . suprise his hindend didnt go boom to the floor .
said i need a bar of soap i gotta take a shower ! i said yes u do pa and gave him a nice warm shower . and sis fixed him pancake . now he s all happy guy .
its like havin a infant all over again . every 2 hrs im hungry , every 2 hrs i peed . waa waa waaa . sis said geeze he needs 24-7 care . yep sis i know ...
laundry piled up all wet and stinky , ah better light my candle , got one load a going and waitin for the 2nd load to go in . amazing how much stuff he goes thru .
yes i look around here my house looks cluttered and i think today oh maybe today i will do deep cleaning . bobbie- wheres that coffee ? ! :-)
ok u all have a good day and please enjoy today cuz there might not be no tmr .... xoxox
Thank you all for being here for me.
Cast... you know your mom has dementia..
Doctors can be real morons and your mom is doing what mine did as far as the masking and the behaviors.
See if she can draw a clock. Round/numbers.
Great test.
Crazy making! Dementia and moving on!
Love ya kid and really want to see you on the boat if you wanna.
Kuli! just getting to know you a little. Sweet girl.
buncha hard working angels.
Jen,
re: ramp/inspectors/unnecessary time delay/puckering.
the main reason that we will fail as a country is that no one knows how to work together.
The Germans have a word for it. Schagenfreud.
Of course the Germans would. those humanitarians.
Schagenfreud. 'taking pleasure at someone else's misfortune'
That smug little feeling of 'they can't get what they want'.
Imagine it with the facial expression of civil servants like your building inspector, Tennessee's idiots that she's dealing with from the DA to all the lawyers, etc.
An industry has taken over the country like a cancer and it is the psychopathic idea of just because you can, you do.
Driven by lawyers.
People delight in saying no when they could easily say yes.
it can kill a Democracy.
Look at Congress.
Obama is not a bad President.
When my mom campaigned for Nixon in 1960, and she campaigned HARD, and Kennedy won, some people just didn't want to let go.
She chastised them and said,
'He is our President now. Get behind him.'
This from a woman who lived through the GREAT Depression, FDR, WWII and a PTSD husband.
Where is that thinking now?
We NEED that thinking.
Just Because You Can, You Do:
Why did Bristol Palin win Dancing with the Stars?
Because they are testing the electorate.
The Tea Party's phone trees. Period.
The networks are just now starting to catch up with it.
Brande was clearly the superior dancer and it is sad that she has worked at her craft all these years and any other season she may have emerged as the winner, but not this year.
This year we are going to f**k with America.
That's right folks! This Season on Dancing With the Stars....
F**KING WITH AMERICA!!
Just because we can.
BOAT!!
lovbob
BOAT!
Hubby likes to watch this show - guess I'll just go read.
Yesterday, with pristine timing to the DWTS outcome, Sarah Palin announced unofficially for the 2012 race.
I tried to watch the Alaska show because I love Alaska.
I think SP's just adorable, but kind of like Jessica Simpson.
Just put on some Daisy Dukes but don't ask for the keys to the nuclear codes.
Anyhoo, I tried to watch the Alaska show and in part of it you can hear her say to one of her children, after pulling a little stunt on someone:
'See? We one-upped him! Yeah. We one-upped him!'
There's another form of unhealthy thinking when you're trying to save a country.
Murkowski winning is another thing to take note of.
The Alaskans are sick of SP in government too.
Let her be a tv star! She'll make a bunch of money and get the attention she needs and be painful to watch just like a lot of the other reality shows.
Speaking of painful: take note of the Bristol and 'the Situation' safe sex PSA (public servic announcment) that Ted mentioned.
A real Squirmer!
BOAT!
lovbob
my mother in law waits till everybodys in bed and snoring away and she has the whole house to herself . pees in trash can , peed in my daughter s coffee cup , u name it ! god knows what eles she has done and im afraid to know ,
bythe way it wasnt ted that mention toothbrushes , i advise u to read from page one . this has almost 6 thousand resposes ,
mmm wonder who will be the 6000?? prize anyone ? bobbie s boat wooo .
btw keithsmom , welcome to this site ...
"With POA, does my brother have the right to film what goes on in my mother's bedroom?"
It is a touchy subject and we have differing opinions. I respect her's and believe she respects mine, and she has apologized for her mistaken post here on my wall, which I have accepted.
Ted.
Good to see you!
lovbob
Hmm politics and popular cultuer wars...beh. I am reading my teenage vampire romance novels over...
I only have two things to share before for the night I"m gone.
1st, on Friday, I pick up my mom and step-dad's 2009 taxes to turn in which concludes a year long journey of cleaning up since 2005 that I've been in.
2nd, we enmeshed children of usually our mom's all too often become the over functioning caregiver who burns out because we really believe that if mommy is not happy then no one is happy and our main job in life is to make mom happy but it ends up that no one is happy.
Good night! I hope every one sleeps tight!
love,
miz
miz
Hard to believe the system can be so ignorant! If all else fails, hug the pets. Sorry to hear you're dealing with the mess of it all.
I have a friend, Deb, a 6' 2" blazing blonde. Quite a presensence in any situation. Not one to ever be around should she get in anyone's face or a medical crisis.
One day the pharmacy in a large store didn't have her meds ready, tho confirmed by the Dr's office. We waited ... & waited ...
Suddenly she poofed her well dressed self even bigger, sparkling jewlery blinging, stood taller than possible, turned bright red & announced :
"My doctor has sent in my script. Twice!!! Have you not got it? Have you ever seen a women without her estrogen?
Are you ready to see me have a major hot flash in your face? Is this whole store prepared for me to lose it b/c you have yet to fill the prescription??? What the F*** is your professional problem???".
She went on a bit, softening, getting more attention from people who understood ... gainng a following.
"I've had better service ordering unknown food in a Chinese Restaurant where they didn't speak English!".
It was theartical & amazing how quickly they filled her meds!
I, her quiet, friendly driver, skulk quietly away fro the counter leading the proud peacock carrying her little white bag gallantly in front of her.
She is a wedding planner. Watch out brides!
The mean man wasn't mad today? Yay!
Anger is not productive as we all know. Kill him with kindness. Watch him melt. You are naturally so sweet ... at least we know it on this thread! Might be contagious ~
Ted ... days away, huh?
Happy & envious! Where will you go? What will you do?
Sorry if I'm snoopy ... just thinking how much you need a rest.
I hope it's a great time when you can forget about care giving. Empty your mind & relax. Collect some creative thoughts & think forward.
I'm constantly wondering how to reinvent my creativity, build something new rather than stagnate.
Hoping everyone on thread is well & not too frustrated.
Man ... it's going around this area. Cold, dark, rainy days. People on edge ~
Hope none of you encounter my friend Deb needing her meds in your pharmacy ! If so, stand away & learn.
Wow, Bobbie! You really started something huge! Not even a year & you have brought together so many amazing people with much in common. True friends!
Yet all very different. Bobbie the Trendsetter! Bravo for YOU!
so , quietly wondering, will the next poster win a free pass to the Barbara B?
Hog Wash!!! We all are abord one way or another! The Magical Barbara B ... keeping us all afloat!
Thanks, Bobbie & crew members & all your very special pets.
G'Night from near Seattle!
Rip, I'm getting out of this lttle town and sitting my butt down in the middle of a big old city (well, Kinda big, bigger than here anyway,) and take it as it comes. No Itinerary, no Plans with people, nothing. Just gonna let my mind wind down on its own pace, take in a couple museums, sit and people-watch in cafe's, etc., and soak up the vibrancy and energy that I grew up with in NYC. I know we all change over time as we should, but I feel like I need to remember a little about the person I used to be so I can include him in the person that I am growing to be.
unfortunately, I've decided to wait until after the holidays to go. I just can't bring myself to leave mom in a home surrounded by strangers over the holidays, knowing that if she's lucky, my brother and sister MIGHT call for a couple of minutes at most.
Ive just gotta hold it all together for a few more weeks and then....
I'm with you on the creativity thing, I don't know whether I've lost that because I'm so miserable, or that I'm miserable because I lost that. The more I look at things the more I realize that I have put myself away completely in my effort to care for and please mom, and that's not good.
By the way, when i get back, can I borrow Deb sometime? Cause I plan to striaghten alot of people out!