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Another holiday down. I clean and leave the table as soon as I can. I can't stand to be in the room with him. I wear ear plugs to block out his stupid voice and ignorant comments that just ooze out like oil. GOD when does this end. I mean him, just take him now. In there, cussing at people on TV. Stupid useless damn pervert just die already. Yet another annuity has come due and he has money he doesn't need and won't spend and I literally am in rags. Lovely what ever. Die and go to hell old man just die!
I hope everyone had a safe and sane Holiday and no more stress than usual.
Ted, your desire to get out to work or whatever is for more than just getting a break. It's a combination of normal human motives to live a more normal life. Whose putting the guilt trip on you? Your mother or your sister? You really need to stop letting those two women in your life walk all over you and make you feel guitly, evidently for even wanting to do something for yoursellf. Like Ed said somewhere on some thread, don't take your idenity or sense of self-esteem from people who have none. From what you have written at length about both, they have not been helpful influences on your sense of identiy or your feeling of self-esteeem. What are you holding out for? Are you waiting for her to change and be the mom you wanted? An't going to happen. Get your focus back man to where it was several days ago. You are making progress and this guilt is trying to drag you back into being the old walk all over me Ted and that battle is to be expected.
I have one of those 'green' cloth market bags and it was on the floor. Cat gets in and get a fat tail and starts to act like a Heathen. I pick up the bag and mind you, this is a Cat that screams bloody murder in a cat carrier and if you try to pick her up she turns into that 'bag of nails', so I pick up the bag and the cat LOVES it. Now she gets into the bag and gives me the eye and I get up and haul her around a bit. She's getting heavy. Have to top off her bowl before I turn in or she pull a claw on me when it's still dark out. It's a vicious circle.
Bobie you can not figure out some cat when my cat get his atitude on I threaten to send him to my sister's house where their are 9 cats. He has been eating more since the colder weather has started and if his bowl is empty he now goes to my son to complain, you have to love then nevertheless they can be so cute most of the time. Miz we are all sending prayers for you and your Mom good night everyone
Miz and I have been communicating and she knows that the time is near. I asked her what her heart told her to do and this was her reply:
My heart tells me for her sake it's best to not keep her like this. it's just so hard. i told the doc i feel like i would be killing her and he said it's God's decision. she doesn't feel good. after all that i have seen in nursing homes i don't want to see her all hooked up to stuff and just laying there. that is no life. she said this morning, "I love you Patti."
I responded with this: When you're ready it's ok to tell your mom that you really want her to stay but you understand if she has to go. Tell her you'll see her in the blink of an eye. give her permission to go. tell her you're going to be ok, you'll miss her like crazy but don't worry mom. I'm ok. lovbob
I'm so sorry Miz.....my thoughts and prayers are with you. It is difficult to tell our loved ones that it's okay to go, we just need to reassure them that we know they will be waiting for us.
bobbie , its wonderful that u and miz are talking . she sure needed to hear your voice . and ur comfert , am so sorry to hear shes not going to get better . yes i agree i wouldnt want to be hooked up and lay there day after day . thats no life . i watch my mom die 21 yrs ago , its heartbreaking ! but then its a relief that she s gone to a better place , cuz layin there and let the cancer eat her up alive is not a way to live . so painful ...
keep us update , i still havent heard from my sister in texas so i dont know whats going on down there . hope and pray that things are getting better . im just so ready to get on barabra b ... someday i will . love you !! xoxoxo
Very hard thing MIZ is going through-very helpless feeling. I couldn't tell Jeff it was o.k. for him to go-still don't feel like it was o.k. for him to leave us.My dad,I told him it was o.k. to leave and that we would be o.k.Prayers are with miz and her family.
Bobbie, give Miz my wishes for her healing and rest...I am so sorry she is losing her mother. I hope she is at peace and her mother goes without pain and surrounded by those she loves and who love her.
This is soooooo funny. These habits that come with the Dementia are mind boggling. When I found my toothbrush out of place a long time ago I thought "Oh nO!" and that was it. I keep my personal things in my room. I live in my house like I'm renting a room. I even keep my own towels in my room. My mom's little fingers are always up to something. I have arranged and rearranged the kitchen cupboards I don't know how many times. She is banned from the washroom. Before she started getting worse, she washed my whites with antifreeze that was in the washroom. What a nightmare. She is now somewhat banned from the Kitchen. Serenity Now!
Aww Miz, we're all so sorry! I know that you're not where you can read this, but I know that Bobbie will let you know that you're in our thoughts & prayers!
It takes a lot of courage to tell a loved one that it's ok to go. Did that with my Dad & my aunt. Somehow it releases them not to feel guilty about leaving us & it reassures them that we'll be ok & we'll see them later. Still hard to do! One of the most difficult things that I've ever had to do!
I just told my husband what is going on & he said that he's praying for peace for the family.
Miz, I wish that we could be there with you to hold your hand through this! I hope that you can feel our love reaching out to you through the atmosphere!
Bobbie, I hope that you're physically feeling better! I know that this is emotionally difficult for you, too! Thank you for being there so close to Miz for all of us! Please know that we're here for you, too, and that we love both of you!
Miz I am so sorry just have them keep her comfortable I told my husband it was alright to go to be with God-I am so glad we went to the church we did go to and know that death is not the end and to be feared and there is a better place for us someday-no pain and no tears. Bobbi bless you keeping us up to date.
no recent word from Miz. Thank you for thinking of me. Emotionally I am ok because I am plugged in to a much larger power and the pain goes there where it can be dealt with. I'm too little to deal with it.
You ladies are amazing. Miz will get great comfort when she reads all of your comments.
It's ok. bro and sil will be here about 10pm tomorrow. sis is not coming until the funeral. i'm at home. took shower. going back in about an hour. love to you and all the other angels.
I replied: You sound strong and we are all so proud of you. You are surrounded by angels. We all love you. lovbob
I was afraid to switch on the computer tonight. I am so sorry. Miz when you will read these messages you will know that we have thought about about you and your mom, or we have prayed, according to our beliefs. I shall go to church tomorrow anyway and I will think of you from there. The fact that you have been close to her is the best thing you could do for her and for yourself. Love
Just have a minute. Bobbie. please tell Miz I'm thinking of her and so glad she is with her Mom through this. I believe it is a good thing to tell them it's okay to let go, even when it is hard for us to let them go. What is most important to remember is that they will no longer be suffering. I hope her passing is peaceful for all, especially Miz!
Latest from Miz is that her mom is now settled in comfort care. Miz has disclosed which hospital she and her mom are in and Rip and kuli and a few of us are presently looking for a Teddy Bear to send her. I'm thinking the hosp gift shop which is closed right now but will be open in the am... if.... ideas? lovbob
oh wonderful idea , i would like my name added on to it plz . if theres anyway i could send the money i owe on the bear i will send it , plz let me know where to send my share of money on the bear . im just so sad for her . wish i could be near her and hug her in person . i know the feelin to watch mom slippin by ,,
Hey all, no new word from Miz. I think she'd let me know if... I'll call the gift shop tomorrow when they open and get her a teddy. it's called a curly bear and I think that they would have one. Just a good bear to hug. how about the card signed: 'with love from the crew on the Barbara B' ? is that cool?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I hope everyone had a safe and sane Holiday and no more stress than usual.
Keeping Miz in my thoughts....
"Jsomebody, go back go the nursing home. Your propositions have been appalling to the needy."
?????
Right back at ya....
update from Miz:
Please ask everyone to keep praying.
Angels on alert.
lovbob
I have one of those 'green' cloth market bags and it was on the floor. Cat gets in and get a fat tail and starts to act like a Heathen. I pick up the bag and mind you, this is a Cat that screams bloody murder in a cat carrier and if you try to pick her up she turns into that 'bag of nails', so I pick up the bag and the cat LOVES it.
Now she gets into the bag and gives me the eye and I get up and haul her around a bit.
She's getting heavy.
Have to top off her bowl before I turn in or she pull a claw on me when it's still dark out.
It's a vicious circle.
lovbob
They are taking the extraordinary measures away and concentrating on making her mom comfortable.
Angels. all of our loved ones who have gone on before are there with Miz and her mom.
lovbob
such fragile ladies ...
thanks, Bobbie
Miz and I have been communicating and she knows that the time is near.
I asked her what her heart told her to do and this was her reply:
My heart tells me for her sake it's best to not keep her like this. it's just so hard. i told the doc i feel like i would be killing her and he said it's God's decision. she doesn't feel good. after all that i have seen in nursing homes i don't want to see her all hooked up to stuff and just laying there. that is no life. she said this morning, "I love you Patti."
I responded with this:
When you're ready it's ok to tell your mom that you really want her to stay but you understand if she has to go. Tell her you'll see her in the blink of an eye.
give her permission to go. tell her you're going to be ok, you'll miss her like crazy but don't worry mom. I'm ok.
lovbob
Angels now.
lovbob
am so sorry to hear shes not going to get better .
yes i agree i wouldnt want to be hooked up and lay there day after day . thats no life .
i watch my mom die 21 yrs ago , its heartbreaking ! but then its a relief that she s gone to a better place , cuz layin there and let the cancer eat her up alive is not a way to live . so painful ...
keep us update , i still havent heard from my sister in texas so i dont know whats going on down there . hope and pray that things are getting better .
im just so ready to get on barabra b ... someday i will .
love you !! xoxoxo
It takes a lot of courage to tell a loved one that it's ok to go. Did that with my Dad & my aunt. Somehow it releases them not to feel guilty about leaving us & it reassures them that we'll be ok & we'll see them later. Still hard to do! One of the most difficult things that I've ever had to do!
I just told my husband what is going on & he said that he's praying for peace for the family.
Miz, I wish that we could be there with you to hold your hand through this! I hope that you can feel our love reaching out to you through the atmosphere!
Bobbie, I hope that you're physically feeling better! I know that this is emotionally difficult for you, too! Thank you for being there so close to Miz for all of us! Please know that we're here for you, too, and that we love both of you!
no recent word from Miz.
Thank you for thinking of me.
Emotionally I am ok because I am plugged in to a much larger power and the pain goes there where it can be dealt with.
I'm too little to deal with it.
You ladies are amazing. Miz will get great comfort when she reads all of your comments.
thinkoftheboat
lovbob
Latest from Miz:
It's ok. bro and sil will be here about 10pm tomorrow. sis is not coming until the funeral. i'm at home. took shower. going back in about an hour. love to you and all the other angels.
I replied:
You sound strong and we are all so proud of you.
You are surrounded by angels.
We all love you.
lovbob
Love
lovbob
I am still too stupid sick for creativity ... too cheap to heat my chilly office -
I'm thinking the hosp gift shop which is closed right now but will be open in the am... if....
ideas?
lovbob
im just so sad for her . wish i could be near her and hug her in person . i know the feelin to watch mom slippin by ,,
no new word from Miz.
I think she'd let me know if...
I'll call the gift shop tomorrow when they open and get her a teddy.
it's called a curly bear and I think that they would have one.
Just a good bear to hug.
how about the card signed:
'with love from the crew on the Barbara B' ?
is that cool?
lovbob
good night all
ssk