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aww , touch my heart . thanks for letting us know what miz s up to and so glad to hear shes holdin her bear . feeling the warmth comfert from all of us . got pa up and took him to bathroom , got him all cleaned up and refreshed up . tucked him to bed and he says im hungry so made him his fav bfast , sasuage gravy with chop up bread and scramble eggs we got from the neighbors farm , his face lit up and said i m his sweetheart and thanked me so many times for fixing it for him . i sat on his bed and told him what he said this morning realy hurt me . he said i just want to go nursing home cuz its too much work for u guys to take care of me . i told him i cant put u in the nursing home i would feel like i abandon u . i feel he s safer here with us . i told him it doesnt matter if its hard work or too much work , going to walmart was too much work pa , splitting wood cutting wood is hard on us , doesnt matter what we do everything we do is hard work , hubby goes to work everyday and that is hard work and too much work so pa it doesnt matter if taking care of u be hard work or not . told him i enjoy taking care of him . so made him his fav bfast , :-) he dont feel good , poor guy , u can hear it in his voice , its killin me and i keep thinkin about miz s mom and i am not looking fwrd to that day when the lord calls for pa . i know its coming may not be soon but it s coming . i can feel it and i see it in dad s eyes . oh lump in my throat , hurts , :-(
why can't one night just end on a peaceful note? i'm trying to figure out how to get some type of thought process through to MIL. Don't feed your food to your dog....nope doesn't work. Are you wet or dry....I don't know. What did you have for dinner.....I don't know. Hubby and I took friends out to dinner for the other hubby's birthday and told mil we would bring her back a nice dinner.....ravioli, salad, bread, etc. It was like the monster got loose....omg, nasty attitude, nasty mouth, unappreciative about anything. I feel like crap now and go to put her in bed 30 min later, zyprexa kicked in.....couldn't ask for a sweeter little old lady.....................AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Thank you for listening. Miz, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Everyone else, I also appreciate you much and your comments to those who just don't get it.
Diane, next time your SIL criticizes your way of behaving with your mother, big smile and tell her: "You are right, you would certainly treat her better, so I am going to pack a suitcase and she is going to stay one month at your house". I can assure you that your SIL will treat you like a queen from that moment on. Jen, you are really very strong in dealing with a situation that is very hard from you. If I were you I would start to think of the "after" that is make some plans for the future. You are young. It could be fun and it could help you face the present! Linda I am very sorry to hear you are so sad. Your father feels all the love that you feel for him, Even if you are so good and sweet to him, he has his point of view on his life and he is very frustrated. I see the frustration in my mother's eyes many times a day when she realizes she cannot do things by herself, that she has to be helped even if she wants to carry a glass to the kitchen. I think that when a person dies, he does not die because he is fed up of living. He dies for completely different reasons. You can't make a person live forever just telling him that he is not a trouble for you! It would be too easy! So, try to be happy thinking that you are a wonderful daughter (much better than me, that's for sure) and your dad, when his moment arrives, a moment which "he" won't decide, will leave this world in the best possible way! Jam, you too, try not to worry too much. If she wants to be unhappy, it's up to her. You are doing your best, you are caring for her dog, too! When my mother is very negative and for example I take the car and I take her to see beautiful places and she does not react at all, she complains all the time, I close my ears and try to enjoy the drive myself. I try to "save the day", anyway! A BIG kiss to all of you!
Yesterday the nurse came over to see my Mom. It was her first visit. She said to my Mom at one point,"you have a good daughter, she's really doing a good job, etc" and my Mom got a strange look on her face and didn't say anything. I think the look was because my Mom doens't know that I am her daughter and she is my Mother. It confused her. Sometimes well meaning people say stupid things to the alz pt. Another thing that people say which gets on my nerves is, to a burnt out caregiver, "take care of yourself",,I'd like to say, If you come here and sit with my Mom all day, I'll go out and "take care of myself" Sorry, I just had to vent a little this morning.
Bobbie, sorry you are still feeling lousy. I can relate to the Hoarder feeling. I try to keep the kitchen and living room clean, but pile all the other stuff in my room. At night I have to put the stuff on my bed out on the chair in the living room and then pile it back on the bed in the morning. crazy Also, I keep hearing about cats and now want to get one. I have had dogs, but think it would be hard to have one now.
thanks Maxine and ssk. ssk, you vent on and don't apologize. this is what keeps us going. vent and live!
Jam, sorry you have the ugliness of the disease to deal with. sux. very stressful. Get a rescue kitty. Like I think I mentioned earlier, I went to an adoption event, put my hand in all of the cat cages and when I put my hand in Kitty's cage, she put her hand on top of mine. She picked me. There's a nice cat waiting for you too Jam.
rossella: well stated. and of course you are right.
linda: you are an angel and I truly understand what you feel. love to Pa from all of us.
Miz is up and holding her bear and is there with her mom. her mom is sleeping and just coughing a little now and then.
going to try and work again today. Still not right.
sskape, you are right. They think they are generous when they say "Dear, dear, take care of yourself!" But, when you say: "I'd like to have a couple of hours for myself" no one of these people will say: "Okay, go wherever you want, I stay here with your mother/father for two hours". They just say: "I hope that you can find a couple of hours for yourself, because you really need and deserve it!" They kiss-kiss and they go shopping or playing tennis. Bite their ass!
It happens to me, too, Sskape. Last time it happened one or two months ago. Two cousins of mine, (two nieces of my mother) were in Rome, 1 hour far from where I live. My mother always asks about her family. I asked my cousins if I could drive my mother to Rome and meet them wherever they wanted to, to have a coffee together and make my mother happy. They didn't have to make any effort, just give me 1/2 hour of their precious time. Well, they told me they couldn't- And I know that they had been in Rome for 3 days, (not for work. They don't work anymore). They didn't find a half an hour for us, in 3 days!!! When they call me and they ask me about my mother, and say that they are sorry for me and for her, I don't believe them anymore. Talk, talk, talk, talk. Talking is easy
Thank you rosella you make me feel better able to cope. When MIL snarled at me last night about is this how my "golden years" are going to be, I told her they would be what she made of them. After her nasty little tantrum earlier, when I checked to put her in bed she played peek-a-boo with the bed linen.....:) oh the joys of dementia!!!
I used to play peekaboo with my mom all the time. mom also used to sneak up on me when I was writing and scare the bejesus out of me. She loved it. I used to jump out at her when i was a kid and I told her I knew she was getting me back. she would laugh. peekaboo beats the tar out of a mean ol bee yatch.
amen bobbie ! i remmy one early morning getting ready for school . mom made me hot choc to drink , i didnt know she was in the bathroom behind me , i took a sip out of the cup and when she opened that door the hot choc went all over my hair face shirt and pant ! scared the crap out of me ! . had to run back upstairs and hurry wash my hair and find something eles to wear ! whew almost mised the bus , while iwas runnin around tryin to hurry i could hear my mom laughin and laughin so hard , it brought tears to her eyes . when i came home from school she grinn so big and said she kept laughin all day long . that was not no peek a boo . lol . heard from my sis , she said her son can move his feet and arms , so thats a good sign , he may not be parlazie , thank u jesus ! xoxo
Jam, it seems to me your MIL is in an intermediate stage, that is she has still enough sense to know what she is doing and she plays with it and she uses it. It was the stage of my mother until some months ago. (she is completely lost, now). I remember it was difficult to understand, then, if she was "joking" or not. My mother is more manageable now, but "her" life is certainly worse. Your MIL probably will become more and more dependent on you, with occasional attempts at being independent. Anyhow, this disease sucks. We said it many times, and it does not become less true even if we say so a thousand times.... Bobbie it's good you have so many good memories of your mother, even of the period she was sick. I hope it will be the same for me!
Linda, what a good new! If he can move, he is not paralized, that's for sure!!!! I am so glad to see again the xoxoxo at the end of your posts. You missed it a couple of times!
oh hahaha . guess i shall not to forget that again . :-) ahh gotta get off this thing and go do some slavery work ! dishes , laundry piled up needed to put them away , sweep floor do more laundry . anybody wanna come over and help me ? lol love you all , xoxoxox
rosella I do believe you are correct. It's like one minute she will participate in conversations without a problem, then the next minute she does or says something completely off the wall. The biggest problem seems to be that if you want her to do or not do something and say it in a nice, fun way, she completely ignores us with a "cutesy" little comment. When we are firm her whole demeanor changes and the hidden monster shows up.
"Take Care Of Yourself..." I think, when it is between care givers it means something else...Not the generic "Have A Nice Day." variety platitude but the MY GOD I know how run down you are, go out side, watch a movie,spit out a window, grab yer car keys and drive around the block, run around the block, call a sitter and take a nap...ANYTHING to help give yourself a break even the smallest bit of self time in the endless trial and mess that is 24/7 care-giving. Just one of a thousand stop gap measures you can take to keep from going bug house. Both take care of yourself so you don't run out of energy and literally end up in the hole and take care of yourself so there is some of you left for you when this is over...But I do understand the..."I am doing the best I can and I really can't PUT ME in the first priority seat here. Much as that is same and healthy it is just NOT gonna work!
Here, the ramp guy is trying to get the railings up before the, well between the snow storms......Man I have had enough already. If we get another five footer snow fall this year I think I WILL steal my grandfathers cash and just get a flight out of state. But will she return.....? I might not!
He is dumping out his urinals, fine with me, you wanna be useful you dump your piss, it isn't like you can't USE the bathroom...Went for Dilantin check re check double check check...what ever. Results later in week...Whatever.
Tired, cold worn out have a really bad sinus headache now...and the construction noise begins...
I hope and pray Miz is doing OK where ever she is and her mom is passing peacefully...
Dear Everyone. I came home for a little while to get some rest and take a shower. I want you all to know how much I appreciate all of you and am so grateful for your love and caring. Bobbie has been telling me about the angels on the boat and I am overwhelmed by your support. This has helped me getting through all of this so much. My brother and SIL are at the hospital with Mom. She's hanging in there and we are all talking to her and telling her that we are there and how much she is loved. Thank you SO MUCH for the bear. He is so cute and huggable. I was so touched to receive him. I am very sad and tired but I'm okay. It's hard to say how long Mom will last. My only wish is for her to be comfortable and pain free. I know it won't really hit me until she passes. I'm not sure a person can prepare her/himself for that kind of loss. I just have to tell myself that she has lived a full life and that Dad is waiting for her in heaven. The pastor that married hubby and I came to see her today and prayed with us. Please know that I love you all and I will read all of your posts at a later time. What a life line you all have been. Take good care. I hope things are going as well as they possibly can for you all.
I would have just given the toothbrush to her and hid my new one for myself. There is nothing to be grossed out about unless of course you dont have another toothbrush and no way to boil that one out. At least now you know.
tee-heee. buy another toothbrush and give her the one she been using yuk . now thats gross , id buy mom a new one too . uhhhh . give her the old one , lmao.. hubby s not feeling good , his face is beet red , dizzy a little he says , i hope its not his heart . he said my arm feels fine , so hope its just a touch of flu .
I see a common trait in our 'new' voices. they are really new to the site. When I look at the profile I don't see any other activity and I don't see for whom they are caring.
I had a real sarcastic mean one in my hugs section a few days ago but got her straightened out. To sick to wrestle with this one and the one yesterday. someone else is welcome to step up!
love you guys.
Where's Ted? Crowe? Kuli? GP? hope everybody is doing as well as they can considering the circumstances.
Linda, Check your hubby's blood pressure. Could be why the red face. If it's too high, get him to the ER! Glad your nephew is doing well. I'm sick of being sick and over tired! Last night I went to bed with this 6 week cold getting worse AGAIN!. I see the doctor for my yearly physical tomorrow. Hope he can fix this, cuss I've had it!!!! Bobbie, hope you get better faster than me! Rossella, Mom is about the same as yours. Can no longer recognize people most of the time. Is wheelchair bound because of PD, which is a good thing. Too many falls before! So much grossness that I couldn't even begin to relate it all to you. She is almost totally incontinent both ways. Cannot feed herself most of the time. Doesn't communicate well for lack of pulling the right words out of her brain. Is not processing simple commands most of the time. And the OCD!!!!!!The habits will drive me to my grave first!!! Constant hand movement: rubbing her hands, her legs, her pants, scratching her head, rubbing the table with- the food she is not eating, her dirty tissues, her spit..... Constantly scrapping and banging her plate with the utensils, putting her food into her drink glass, throwing her plate on the floor, pulling the cover off the couch, moving the furniture around and on and on and on..... At night she won't take her dentures out before bed, and clamps her mouth shut tight so I can't take them out. Then I find them on the floor in the morning! Holds her mouth shut tight so she doesn't have to eat or take her pills, but opens it for junk food no problem! Now she does this new thing. Clamps her mouth shut tight until she can't get her breath, then lets it out as she is turning blue!!! I have to pinch her nose shut to get her to open her mouth!!! The good news is that when you pass out, you automatically start to breath. The bad news is that I fear the lack of oxygen will kill the few brain cells she has left!!! None of her children came for Thanksgiving dinner, but 3 of them stopped by for a few minutes on their way home. Just long enough to "F" her up royally for 3 days! Rossella, I can surely understand where you are at with your mom! The sad thing is, this woman who I am caring for is no longer my "Mom". That makes it even harder for those of us who are at this point, to deal with our situations. Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, but I do read everyone that goes through when I have time. I hope when I feel better physically, that my emotional state will return to it's former "kick ass" self. I hate being down in the dumps! Everyone have a good evening!! Kathy
Deef I do not envy your situation, mine is disgusting but he is tractable, you have a toddler on your hands, worn out bad sinus head ache I think turned into migraine...gonna boil my head now...
He has been eating cookies all day, fine what ever do what you want...
New Posters remember to check the dates of these blogs the toothbrush incident was the opener to a long and involved blog for quite a few people since the beginning of the year. Sometimes the snippy comments are a bit...snippy and way out of sync. At least now we know....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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got pa up and took him to bathroom , got him all cleaned up and refreshed up . tucked him to bed and he says im hungry so made him his fav bfast , sasuage gravy with chop up bread and scramble eggs we got from the neighbors farm , his face lit up and said i m his sweetheart and thanked me so many times for fixing it for him .
i sat on his bed and told him what he said this morning realy hurt me . he said i just want to go nursing home cuz its too much work for u guys to take care of me . i told him i cant put u in the nursing home i would feel like i abandon u . i feel he s safer here with us . i told him it doesnt matter if its hard work or too much work , going to walmart was too much work pa , splitting wood cutting wood is hard on us , doesnt matter what we do everything we do is hard work , hubby goes to work everyday and that is hard work and too much work so pa it doesnt matter if taking care of u be hard work or not . told him i enjoy taking care of him . so made him his fav bfast , :-)
he dont feel good , poor guy , u can hear it in his voice ,
its killin me and i keep thinkin about miz s mom and i am not looking fwrd to that day when the lord calls for pa .
i know its coming may not be soon but it s coming . i can feel it and i see it in dad s eyes .
oh lump in my throat , hurts , :-(
Miz, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Everyone else, I also appreciate you much and your comments to those who just don't get it.
Jen, you are really very strong in dealing with a situation that is very hard from you. If I were you I would start to think of the "after" that is make some plans for the future. You are young. It could be fun and it could help you face the present!
Linda I am very sorry to hear you are so sad. Your father feels all the love that you feel for him, Even if you are so good and sweet to him, he has his point of view on his life and he is very frustrated. I see the frustration in my mother's eyes many times a day when she realizes she cannot do things by herself, that she has to be helped even if she wants to carry a glass to the kitchen. I think that when a person dies, he does not die because he is fed up of living. He dies for completely different reasons. You can't make a person live forever just telling him that he is not a trouble for you! It would be too easy! So, try to be happy thinking that you are a wonderful daughter (much better than me, that's for sure) and your dad, when his moment arrives, a moment which "he" won't decide, will leave this world in the best possible way!
Jam, you too, try not to worry too much. If she wants to be unhappy, it's up to her. You are doing your best, you are caring for her dog, too! When my mother is very negative and for example I take the car and I take her to see beautiful places and she does not react at all, she complains all the time, I close my ears and try to enjoy the drive myself. I try to "save the day", anyway!
A BIG kiss to all of you!
Sorry, I just had to vent a little this morning.
Also, I keep hearing about cats and now want to get one. I have had dogs, but think it would be hard to have one now.
ssk, you vent on and don't apologize. this is what keeps us going. vent and live!
Jam, sorry you have the ugliness of the disease to deal with. sux. very stressful. Get a rescue kitty.
Like I think I mentioned earlier, I went to an adoption event, put my hand in all of the cat cages and when I put my hand in Kitty's cage, she put her hand on top of mine. She picked me.
There's a nice cat waiting for you too Jam.
rossella: well stated. and of course you are right.
linda: you are an angel and I truly understand what you feel. love to Pa from all of us.
Miz is up and holding her bear and is there with her mom. her mom is sleeping and just coughing a little now and then.
going to try and work again today. Still not right.
lovbob
Glad you are there with support and understanding. I gave you each a star!
When they call me and they ask me about my mother, and say that they are sorry for me and for her, I don't believe them anymore. Talk, talk, talk, talk. Talking is easy
mom also used to sneak up on me when I was writing and scare the bejesus out of me. She loved it.
I used to jump out at her when i was a kid and I told her I knew she was getting me back. she would laugh.
peekaboo beats the tar out of a mean ol bee yatch.
lovbob
when i came home from school she grinn so big and said she kept laughin all day long . that was not no peek a boo . lol .
heard from my sis , she said her son can move his feet and arms , so thats a good sign , he may not be parlazie , thank u jesus ! xoxo
Bobbie it's good you have so many good memories of your mother, even of the period she was sick. I hope it will be the same for me!
I am so glad to see again the xoxoxo at the end of your posts. You missed it a couple of times!
ahh gotta get off this thing and go do some slavery work ! dishes , laundry piled up needed to put them away , sweep floor do more laundry . anybody wanna come over and help me ? lol
love you all , xoxoxox
Here, the ramp guy is trying to get the railings up before the, well between the snow storms......Man I have had enough already. If we get another five footer snow fall this year I think I WILL steal my grandfathers cash and just get a flight out of state. But will she return.....? I might not!
He is dumping out his urinals, fine with me, you wanna be useful you dump your piss, it isn't like you can't USE the bathroom...Went for Dilantin check re check double check check...what ever. Results later in week...Whatever.
Tired, cold worn out have a really bad sinus headache now...and the construction noise begins...
I hope and pray Miz is doing OK where ever she is and her mom is passing peacefully...
love,
miz
god bless you and hug the bear for me plz .
xoxox
Not another one!
buy another toothbrush and give her the one she been using yuk . now thats gross , id buy mom a new one too . uhhhh . give her the old one , lmao..
hubby s not feeling good , his face is beet red , dizzy a little he says , i hope its not his heart . he said my arm feels fine , so hope its just a touch of flu .
xoxoxo
I see a common trait in our 'new' voices.
they are really new to the site. When I look at the profile I don't see any other activity and I don't see for whom they are caring.
I had a real sarcastic mean one in my hugs section a few days ago but got her straightened out. To sick to wrestle with this one and the one yesterday. someone else is welcome to step up!
love you guys.
Where's Ted? Crowe? Kuli? GP?
hope everybody is doing as well as they can considering the circumstances.
lovbob
lovbob
I'm sick of being sick and over tired! Last night I went to bed with this 6 week cold getting worse AGAIN!. I see the doctor for my yearly physical tomorrow. Hope he can fix this, cuss I've had it!!!! Bobbie, hope you get better faster than me!
Rossella, Mom is about the same as yours. Can no longer recognize people most of the time. Is wheelchair bound because of PD, which is a good thing. Too many falls before! So much grossness that I couldn't even begin to relate it all to you.
She is almost totally incontinent both ways. Cannot feed herself most of the time. Doesn't communicate well for lack of pulling the right words out of her brain. Is not processing simple commands most of the time. And the OCD!!!!!!The habits will drive me to my grave first!!!
Constant hand movement: rubbing her hands, her legs, her pants, scratching her head, rubbing the table with- the food she is not eating, her dirty tissues, her spit.....
Constantly scrapping and banging her plate with the utensils, putting her food into her drink glass, throwing her plate on the floor, pulling the cover off the couch, moving the furniture around and on and on and on.....
At night she won't take her dentures out before bed, and clamps her mouth shut tight so I can't take them out. Then I find them on the floor in the morning! Holds her mouth shut tight so she doesn't have to eat or take her pills, but opens it for junk food no problem!
Now she does this new thing. Clamps her mouth shut tight until she can't get her breath, then lets it out as she is turning blue!!! I have to pinch her nose shut to get her to open her mouth!!! The good news is that when you pass out, you automatically start to breath. The bad news is that I fear the lack of oxygen will kill the few brain cells she has left!!!
None of her children came for Thanksgiving dinner, but 3 of them stopped by for a few minutes on their way home. Just long enough to "F" her up royally for 3 days!
Rossella, I can surely understand where you are at with your mom! The sad thing is, this woman who I am caring for is no longer my "Mom". That makes it even harder for those of us who are at this point, to deal with our situations.
Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, but I do read everyone that goes through when I have time. I hope when I feel better physically, that my emotional state will return to it's former "kick ass" self. I hate being down in the dumps!
Everyone have a good evening!! Kathy
Deef I do not envy your situation, mine is disgusting but he is tractable, you have a toddler on your hands, worn out bad sinus head ache I think turned into migraine...gonna boil my head now...
He has been eating cookies all day, fine what ever do what you want...