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I would say the ramp really is just about done. It looks very nice and is being done fully to code so no issues when it is done, I think they will finish up in the dark if they have to...
I can't stop thinking about miz and what she must be going through. I look at my dad and see the tiredness in his eyes and know it's only a matter of time for him to be in the same situation. Hopefully, he won't be in the hospital. It's all so hard - whether it's the everyday struggles to maintain sanity or the idea of them not being here anymore. I will never regret my choice to care for dad but don't know if given the choice again, would be so quick to offer my assistance. At least when he passes, I won't feel the guilt my sibs should feel - who knows if they will. Hope all have a peaceful evening and are able to get some well deserved rest! Love and kisses to all.
First of all: Miz, I don't know when you will read the new posts, anyway I am glad you are having a support from you siblings and I hope they continue to stay with you!!!! Take good care!
2) The new people that come on this thread, they answer according to the title of the thread and they don't even think of reading 6000 posts (Honestly, I shouldn't either! It's longer than "War and Peace"). Maybe, at this point, we could propose the Aging Staff to change the title of this thread, for example: "Caregivers daily news and miseries - If you want to vent and share experiences, this is the right place! Read the last posts to be updated!!!!" so new people would know what it is about. 3) Jam.... Courage! 4) Deef, I am frightened by what you say but in a way, I know it is going to happen as I see what happened to my aunt, who is maybe even worse than your mom. My uncle never got to that stage; let's say he arrived to the stage my mother is now. I remember he spent the last months taking pictures of the sea (he had a terrace on the bay of Naples) and printing them, and it gave him a lot of joy. (sweet memory! sweet uncle) What frightens me is the rate of this declining. May I ask you how much time it passed between the time you could "talk" with your mother and the time that you realized that she did not really understand you anymore? I know my mother now does not understand 90% of what we say, for example the real concept of night and day. When I say "You can't go home to see your parents now; it's 3 o'clock in the night, we shall talk about it tomorrow". She does not know what I mean. The only thing she knows is that she wants to go home. She does not understand anymore that the TV is fake and what happens there does not happen to us. Some months ago, she understood it. Sometimes, when I see the look in her face and I see that she does not know who I really am, where she is, where are her bed, the bathroom; she does not remember if she has had lunch or not, I wonder how she can still put together sentences who have a meaning (and the meaning is always the same: 1) I want to go home 2) When are my relatives arriving? We are waiting them for dinner (and she refuses to eat because her frigging relatives don't come, of course). We have no more "subjects of conversation" apart from these 2. So I guess that very soon she won't be able to talk anymore. How long will it take, Deef? I have to prepare myself and brace myself because I know it will be even harder than now.
p,s, the honour of the post no. 6000 goes to... JEN| You win a puppet to be put on the top of the ramp. When I wrote the post no. 5000 I won a goldfish, but when he saw my cats he escaped and jumped directly in the Tiber river.
Rosella I love reading your posts....you and the other angels here have helped me so much and I don't feel so alone dealing with MIL. Now I am trying to decide if her forgetfulness is due to the dementia, the meds or both. Earlier this evening when I took her meds to her I asked what she had for dinner and she said a couple of apricots....they have been sitting in a glass in her fridge for about a month....originally came out of a can. I enticed her with ham and turkey and a big slice of apple pie. But I said she can't feed it to her doggie. So I took my blind, deaf 14 yr old doggie outside and could see into MIL house and there she is feeding her food to dog. So inside I go and have to sit with her while she eats. It was so funny watching her......she so wanted to hand the food to the dog. But when I tried to talk to her about not giving food away she acted like she didn't have the slightest idea of what I was talking about. She doesn't seem to be able to hold a thought past 5 min. Is this dementia, meds.....I just don't know.
oh Rossella ... Thank YOU so much for being here with us!
I wish I knew of a talented film maker who could take your words, film your life & create a quiet yet powerul movie about Alz, aging & living with it.
I think that for many of us since there is not an instruction manual. Everyone is different ... yet everywhere I go I find someone touched by eldercare or someone associated kwho knows someone who ...
Today I took Sir into the Lab or his PSA blood draw. To get there we must pass the pharmacy windows where many friends work. *We have lived in this town since it was small, now a suburb.
As we crept thru the hallway - 9 pharmacists, techs, etc. waved & smiled at him! This crumpled old guy who used to brighten their days with a basket of fresh garden produce & a smile ... most of the employees didn't remember him from back then ... but know his photos with pets on the pharmacy bulletin board. & me ... his drug wielder. I felt so proud of my Dad! Even tho he couldn't see them due to vision loss ~ he flipped them off with his standard Bird Finger wave. almost famous ... He has Dupertryns contractures (sp) which cause the tendons in his hands to shrink. The only straight finger he has is his middle one & he knows how to use it.
Mary, I am so glad that your father feels he is respected and loved outside his house. It is so important for them - it is one of the first thing they lose when they get a disease like Alz or dementia. Nobody loves them anymore. It's so sad. ((( one of my cousins called me yesterday and she asked me if my mother went to the bathroom by herself! I had told her 1000 times that it happens very, very rarely. She - my cousin - refuses this idea, which is too gross for her, so she "forgets" it all the time))) (this is a good example of: I dont wanna know, I dont wanna see, I dont wanna understand) Jam, when I read your last post I smiled and thought that at least turkey and ham is not damaging to your MIL's dog! When you give her some food, keep in mind her dog's diet! If you try to convince her not to feed her dog, it is a lost battle. You can just hope that she eats 10% of what you give her. Anyway don't worry too much about food; they don't need too much food. They move so little! Their metabolism is so slow! I had to interrupt because I heard a crash in the other part of the house. It was not my mother, it was the cat Cocaine who when I went there, she had a guilty look on her face. I don't know what she has done, I'll check tomorrow. Cocaine refuses to sleep in my room, she prefers to stay with my mother.
Rossella ... do you ever wonder if your cousin has early stages of Alz? You might ask her some time after explaining to her several times again & again. I know I feel that with my family ... I'm sure it's selective amnesia ... but stilll ...
You are awake very early in your morning! Is it dark there most of the day like it is here? The dawn breaks about 8 AM it becomes light out side ... by 4 pm the darkness is creeping in, street lamps turn on & 20 minutes later ... it is night time. Until December 21st & we reverse & will all be happy. Ha ! By February I feel crazy!!! I doubt I'd do well in Alaska where it is dark, dark, DARK all winter. Hope everyone is doing all right after your Thankgiving events.
I know that Miz's situation is hitting home for many of us. This thread is bittersweet since it also reminds us of loved ones we've lost & the trauma as it happened.
I've let more tears loose since Wednesday than I have in years. My mother was brilliant & vibrant until the cancer took her away. No age problems ... just the damned, ugly, nasty, horrible cancer. She always said if she lost her mind to let her go. She never lost her mind ... F8cking cancer!!!!
Thanks y'all for being here ... for everyone! What a magical place we have found ... & the Joe guy who started this Aging Care thing. Thanks ~
With a Captain, not shy about speaking her mind ... we have a reason to smile now & then. Thanks Bobbie! I am still gut laughing!!!
Dear Rip, I tried to work tonight but I didn't feel like it, so I wake up and fell asleep several times. It's 7.30 now and it is a very rainy day. The dawn breaks around 7 and it's dark by 5 p.m. And the weather is nasty almost every day. The caregivers month has almost finished. We have ruled upon toilet paper and diapers, and I think we are going to rule upon them in December, too. Maybe, even on the drawsheets. I miss my father who died at 70 with a very sharp mind and the last thing he did in his life was my income tax return, and the last (understandable) thing he said to me was to remember to send it to the tax authority. But I will miss my mother too, who is in the condition that you know. I will probably forget these last years and I will remember how she was before. Of course if I could choose for myself, I'd much rather the first option (die 15 and also 20 years before, but with my brain intact). But, it's not for us to choose! So let's hope for the best. And, on this note,,, I had better take care of Brooke and Ridge and all of the Bold and Beautiful crew, who wait anxiously to speak Italian!
I just woke up for a minute and decided to check in.
I do not want to change the name of the Grossed Out Thread. This is not a politically correct forum and think of the new friends we have made: Jam, kuli, Ted to name a few who 'got it' and understood that this was a place for them to vent about stuff that most people cannot fathom.
In the pages of this thread are answers and questions that are hard fought and hard won. The best suggestion I would have is for the Thread to be broken up into chapters to make it easier to navigate.
It's actually not longer than War and Peace, (that was way funny, rossella!) just harder to manage because of the format. There is no way to just pop into the middle of it and page around.
The new people can figure it out just like all the people did who are presently here. The name is right because I knew that even though I loved and cared for my mom I was still Grossed Out and I knew that I wasn't alone.
In addition there are entries all the way back to where I started where other people took umbrage at the title and chastised me. Don't really care about folks who are just pissed off and attack me. I defended the title then and again now. There are people out there that will benefit from knowing that there is a forum where they can vent vent about being grossed out. Just because my journey is over doesn't mean that someone else is not beginning theirs. I want to be here to say to them: I get it. it can be very Gross. doesn't mean you love them any less, it can just be Gross. You're safe here. Vent on! and if anyone attacks you I will take them out at the knees.
good morning my fellows . almost 5 am here , got up at 330 am to see hubby get ready for work . done my dishes and made bfast , pa still sleeping and sleeping good ah i leave him alone . wondering about miz and her mom . i know that everytime she sees the bear shes thinking of us . prob hugging it the whole time . :-) i am so glad she has the bear , bet the bear will keep her out of the black hole ! rained here last night . still dark out so i have no idea what the weathers gonnna be today . oh i know it gets to me when someone new gets on right awful bat and barks about the toothbrush . instead of takin the time to read what others has to say , geeze nobody has talked about that almost a year , lol ah give her the old one and buy urself a new one , woooo . blew me away . im just glad dad never used mine . or did he ?? mmm oh crap my mother in law was here over thanksgiving , i wondered if she did touch my toothbrush ? yakyak , now im afraid to use it . think i ll throw it in washer machine before i use it , hell too late ive already used it everynight , , think my face is turning green now . :-o ... you all have a good tuesday . xoxoxo
ugh what happen i thought it was almost 5 am but now ilooked its seven am ! dont tell me it took me two hrs to type . ahh i think i need to go back to bed . xoxo
Ya'll want to hear something funny;its been 2 or three years since my dad passed and I still don't put my tooth brush in the tooth brush thingy.I hide it,my dad scarred me with the possibilities of where my toothbrush ended up.I know he dropped it in the toliet and fished it out or wiped the dogs butt with it.I started hidding my toothbrush then and now my daughter tells me its time to join my toothbrush with her toothbrush in the tooth brush thingy-ma-gig.I'm frightened of this and am scarred from previous horrifying experiences.Do you think three years is enough time to get over being grossed out over all of the possibilities what might have occurred with my tooth brush? My daughter says I must now build up trust and put my tooth brush back in the thingy-ma-gig.
Good morning crew it was good to hear from Miz-now each morning after the bank statement and the obits I come here to catch up take care angels Ted how are you and Crowe will have to go to their walls and ask.
going to be cold cold to be living on a boat starting tonight. I wanted to be out of here by now! I don't feel as sick as I did so hopefully I'm on the mend.
when a new person shows up on the thread they get back what they put out.
Rip,I understand cussing of the cancer.My mother was a pistol one day and then it started zapping her energy the next. It was fast moving,had her in 6 months.She too,had a fear of losing her mind ,but she didn't.She deteriorated right in front of our eyes,we all were as helpless as could be.I think cancer is of the devil----just like lawyers.Jeff was young and vital and when the cancer moved into his brain -he said it was like the Pink Floyd song,but it did terrible things to his brain,it was a sickening waste to a god aweful disease.
miz .. so so sorry to hear your mom passed away . oh lord .. plz give us the address of the funeral home plz . im just the next state over , tenn . yes cussin at the cancer , sonfabutch ! hate them ! i too watch my mom die in front of me , watch her pass very slowly , bobbie thank you for letting us know . i am just soo sad and eyes r filled with tears . love you all xoxo
thank you bobbie, didn't see anything last night so was wondering about miz's mom. so sorry to hear she is gone.....she is with Jesus now and no longer suffering.
Miz - I'm so sorry for your loss. You have been so good to your mom and need to take comfort in all that you did to make her comfortable. I know it 's not easier even when you know it's coming but I'm so glad she didn't have to suffer in the hospital for a long time. We love you and are here for you! xoxoxox
Glad the long suffering is over and her mom is at peace. My thoughts are with Miz and her family. I hope she gets all the support she needs there and has time to heal and acknowledge all her own love and hard work and care for her mom who I am sure knew of it even if/when she "didn't".
I had to chuckle yesterday.......mil bathroom getting some needed little improvements and I noticed her toothbrush was not in it's holder......all I could think of was eeeewwwww gross....:)
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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2) The new people that come on this thread, they answer according to the title of the thread and they don't even think of reading 6000 posts (Honestly, I shouldn't either! It's longer than "War and Peace"). Maybe, at this point, we could propose the Aging Staff to change the title of this thread, for example: "Caregivers daily news and miseries - If you want to vent and share experiences, this is the right place! Read the last posts to be updated!!!!" so new people would know what it is about.
3) Jam.... Courage!
4) Deef, I am frightened by what you say but in a way, I know it is going to happen as I see what happened to my aunt, who is maybe even worse than your mom. My uncle never got to that stage; let's say he arrived to the stage my mother is now. I remember he spent the last months taking pictures of the sea (he had a terrace on the bay of Naples) and printing them, and it gave him a lot of joy. (sweet memory! sweet uncle) What frightens me is the rate of this declining. May I ask you how much time it passed between the time you could "talk" with your mother and the time that you realized that she did not really understand you anymore? I know my mother now does not understand 90% of what we say, for example the real concept of night and day. When I say "You can't go home to see your parents now; it's 3 o'clock in the night, we shall talk about it tomorrow". She does not know what I mean. The only thing she knows is that she wants to go home. She does not understand anymore that the TV is fake and what happens there does not happen to us. Some months ago, she understood it. Sometimes, when I see the look in her face and I see that she does not know who I really am, where she is, where are her bed, the bathroom; she does not remember if she has had lunch or not, I wonder how she can still put together sentences who have a meaning (and the meaning is always the same: 1) I want to go home 2) When are my relatives arriving? We are waiting them for dinner (and she refuses to eat because her frigging relatives don't come, of course). We have no more "subjects of conversation" apart from these 2. So I guess that very soon she won't be able to talk anymore.
How long will it take, Deef? I have to prepare myself and brace myself because I know it will be even harder than now.
Good night and a big kiss to everybody
You win a puppet to be put on the top of the ramp.
When I wrote the post no. 5000 I won a goldfish, but when he saw my cats he escaped and jumped directly in the Tiber river.
Thank YOU so much for being here with us!
I wish I knew of a talented film maker who could take your words, film your life & create a quiet yet powerul movie about Alz, aging & living with it.
I think that for many of us since there is not an instruction manual. Everyone is different ... yet everywhere I go I find someone touched by eldercare or someone associated kwho knows someone who ...
Today I took Sir into the Lab or his PSA blood draw.
To get there we must pass the pharmacy windows where many friends work.
*We have lived in this town since it was small, now a suburb.
As we crept thru the hallway - 9 pharmacists, techs, etc. waved & smiled at him! This crumpled old guy who used to brighten their days with a basket of fresh garden produce & a smile ...
most of the employees didn't remember him from back then ... but know his photos with pets on the pharmacy bulletin board.
& me ... his drug wielder.
I felt so proud of my Dad!
Even tho he couldn't see them due to vision loss ~ he flipped them off with his standard Bird Finger wave.
almost famous ...
He has Dupertryns contractures (sp) which cause the tendons in his hands to shrink. The only straight finger he has is his middle one & he knows how to use it.
((( one of my cousins called me yesterday and she asked me if my mother went to the bathroom by herself! I had told her 1000 times that it happens very, very rarely. She - my cousin - refuses this idea, which is too gross for her, so she "forgets" it all the time))) (this is a good example of: I dont wanna know, I dont wanna see, I dont wanna understand)
Jam, when I read your last post I smiled and thought that at least turkey and ham is not damaging to your MIL's dog! When you give her some food, keep in mind her dog's diet! If you try to convince her not to feed her dog, it is a lost battle. You can just hope that she eats 10% of what you give her. Anyway don't worry too much about food; they don't need too much food. They move so little! Their metabolism is so slow!
I had to interrupt because I heard a crash in the other part of the house. It was not my mother, it was the cat Cocaine who when I went there, she had a guilty look on her face. I don't know what she has done, I'll check tomorrow. Cocaine refuses to sleep in my room, she prefers to stay with my mother.
do you ever wonder if your cousin has early stages of Alz? You might ask her some time after explaining to her several times again & again. I know I feel that with my family ...
I'm sure it's selective amnesia ... but stilll ...
You are awake very early in your morning! Is it dark there most of the day like it is here? The dawn breaks about 8 AM it becomes light out side ... by 4 pm the darkness is creeping in, street lamps turn on & 20 minutes later ... it is night time.
Until December 21st & we reverse & will all be happy.
Ha !
By February I feel crazy!!!
I doubt I'd do well in Alaska where it is dark, dark, DARK all winter.
Hope everyone is doing all right after your Thankgiving events.
I know that Miz's situation is hitting home for many of us. This thread is bittersweet since it also reminds us of loved ones we've lost & the trauma as it happened.
I've let more tears loose since Wednesday than I have in years.
My mother was brilliant & vibrant until the cancer took her away. No age problems ... just the damned, ugly, nasty, horrible cancer.
She always said if she lost her mind to let her go. She never lost her mind ...
F8cking cancer!!!!
Thanks y'all for being here ... for everyone!
What a magical place we have found ...
& the Joe guy who started this Aging Care thing.
Thanks ~
With a Captain, not shy about speaking her mind ... we have a reason to smile now & then.
Thanks Bobbie! I am still gut laughing!!!
Not AWAL, just reading all the posts, laying low & reflecting. Listening to the rain outside & the mantle clock ticking, chiming. Aww...quiet time!
Thinking of all my AC family & praying the best for each of you!
Asking for the Comfort Angels to take care of you tonight!
The caregivers month has almost finished. We have ruled upon toilet paper and diapers, and I think we are going to rule upon them in December, too. Maybe, even on the drawsheets.
I miss my father who died at 70 with a very sharp mind and the last thing he did in his life was my income tax return, and the last (understandable) thing he said to me was to remember to send it to the tax authority. But I will miss my mother too, who is in the condition that you know. I will probably forget these last years and I will remember how she was before. Of course if I could choose for myself, I'd much rather the first option (die 15 and also 20 years before, but with my brain intact). But, it's not for us to choose! So let's hope for the best.
And, on this note,,, I had better take care of Brooke and Ridge and all of the Bold and Beautiful crew, who wait anxiously to speak Italian!
I just woke up for a minute and decided to check in.
I do not want to change the name of the Grossed Out Thread. This is not a politically correct forum and think of the new friends we have made: Jam, kuli, Ted to name a few who 'got it' and understood that this was a place for them to vent about stuff that most people cannot fathom.
In the pages of this thread are answers and questions that are hard fought and hard won.
The best suggestion I would have is for the Thread to be broken up into chapters to make it easier to navigate.
It's actually not longer than War and Peace, (that was way funny, rossella!) just harder to manage because of the format. There is no way to just pop into the middle of it and page around.
The new people can figure it out just like all the people did who are presently here. The name is right because I knew that even though I loved and cared for my mom I was still Grossed Out and I knew that I wasn't alone.
In addition there are entries all the way back to where I started where other people took umbrage at the title and chastised me. Don't really care about folks who are just pissed off and attack me. I defended the title then and again now. There are people out there that will benefit from knowing that there is a forum where they can vent vent about being grossed out. Just because my journey is over doesn't mean that someone else is not beginning theirs.
I want to be here to say to them: I get it. it can be very Gross. doesn't mean you love them any less, it can just be Gross. You're safe here. Vent on!
and if anyone attacks you I will take them out at the knees.
lovbob
But, let's give the new ones the time to understand how it works...
almost 5 am here , got up at 330 am to see hubby get ready for work .
done my dishes and made bfast , pa still sleeping and sleeping good ah i leave him alone .
wondering about miz and her mom . i know that everytime she sees the bear shes thinking of us . prob hugging it the whole time . :-) i am so glad she has the bear , bet the bear will keep her out of the black hole !
rained here last night . still dark out so i have no idea what the weathers gonnna be today .
oh i know it gets to me when someone new gets on right awful bat and barks about the toothbrush . instead of takin the time to read what others has to say , geeze nobody has talked about that almost a year , lol ah give her the old one and buy urself a new one , woooo . blew me away .
im just glad dad never used mine . or did he ?? mmm oh crap my mother in law was here over thanksgiving , i wondered if she did touch my toothbrush ? yakyak , now im afraid to use it . think i ll throw it in washer machine before i use it , hell too late ive already used it everynight , , think my face is turning green now . :-o ...
you all have a good tuesday . xoxoxo
Hey there linda! musta been dark out!
going to be cold cold to be living on a boat starting tonight. I wanted to be out of here by now!
I don't feel as sick as I did so hopefully I'm on the mend.
when a new person shows up on the thread they get back what they put out.
lovbob
Miz's mom has passed away.
lovbob
tenn . yes cussin at the cancer , sonfabutch ! hate them ! i too watch my mom die in front of me , watch her pass very slowly ,
bobbie thank you for letting us know . i am just soo sad and eyes r filled with tears . love you all xoxo
She knew it was coming but is devastated.
lovbob
I'm going to stay at a motel with the cat....
Then on to the Keys, Tenny!
lovbob