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Miz, Good thoughts from Austin. Keeping busy/distracted.....not right away, but you will need to get out & do things to fill the time void. There's plenty out there.....volunteer? Bobbie, Getting a little Freudian are we? lol
Got mom's groceries yesterday. Her apt is set up so that you can't open the door to enter if the closet door is open....she was in there when I arrived but didn't hear me knock. I gently half closed the other door to enter & was in the kitchen when she came out. I said hi but she must have thought I was still in the hallway. "Is that you?....I'll be out of your way in a minute..". As I watched her from the kitchen stand and block the entrance for what seemed like forever......"I'm right here mom.....Is that you?...I'll be out of your way in a minute" (still blocking the door)...."No mom, I'm already inside"..."What? I'll be out of your way in a minute".....Honest, it was something out of a Laurel & Hardy movie. When she finally realized I was in the kitchen putting away the food she knew she was busted for intentionally blocking the door & was all sheepish & sweet. You would think...maybe she didn't hear me, but she did have her ear in & could hear everthing I said after that. Crazy can't even push my buttons efficiently anymore. Oh well. Another doc visit again today....hoping it goes peacefully.
Never ceases to amaze me the crazy things they do......the other morning I went down to make sure mil was up and around since remodeler was there to work on her bathroom.....she is still in bed so I tell her she needs to go to bathroom, etc and I go to intercom in living room to tell hubby it will be just a minute and she jumps out of bed and hollers "okay" on the bedroom intercom......lol. Didn't even bother to remind her she was talking to me. Off to Wal-Mart now.......hope you all have a wonderful day filled with some peace.
Looks like we are moving the boat tomorrow so I am wrapping up everything here. Sweet! We will run on the inside (Intracoastal Waterway) North to Jacksonville and be hauled out for the rest of the repairs. Finally.
Wish me luck. I'm driving. I spent all this time perusing the charts and it boils down to: leave Marina. Make left.
Castoff my Mom still pushes my buttons but try to ignor her firey arrows the funy thing we are ok on the phone she will be 92 soon and thinks she in independent but could not live alone if two of the other tenents did not help her out and my sister did not live nearby.
Hmm ramp update...It is "done"...We are waiting for the inspector to come sign off on it. Dave tells me this guy is the only one he has EVER encountered who said nails not screws...apparently it is one for the books now...The roof that grandpa put up himself incorrectly 20 years ago, is I don't know going to be fixed removed re done I don't know but it is leaking down the wall now...The main guy working ON the ramp for two weeks called just now and is mad because the other guys finished HIS JOB and they took his tools for him (This is the mans LIVELIHOOD) and he wants to come by and check they didn't forget anything..Man it isn't my fault!
Anyhow, it is thawing majorly here slush slush slush off the roof down yer neck...LOOK OUT, FLuummppph off the trees. very excitin..
Hooray for the ramp getting done!!!!!!!!! Now you should christen it with a bottle of champagne ... well, maybe not. Maybe you should drink the champagne ON the ramp - hate to waste good alcohol.
The ramp inspector is coming tommorow most likely...so it is sort of done, we shall see what happens with the roof that is leaking by the door now...The original guy was not told till it was done that he was off the project, he was mad, and came and looked for his tools but the guys must have got them all for him as he didn't see any stragglers. He wanted to do a more finished job on the project he still has touch ups he isn't satisfied with. but it isn't his call I guess...
Here's one: just this afternoon a gal called back from Grandpa's Doctors office with the lab results and said..."Here is the new prescription, start giving him the Dilantin at 100 milligrams three times and day and come back on the tenth for a blood test to check the level again..."
I was a bit shocked......I told her that THAT IS THE DOSAGE HE IS CURRENTLY TAKING NOW...???
She was flustered and confused. I am not surprised...this office has lost charts, medications, missed appointments, not called back for three weeks for a test result that took four days...I mean were are looking at gross incompetence here now...
She gets a bye as she is a new employee there, but even the doctor is an imbecile I swear. If this was my doctor I would change doctors immediately but Grandpa doesn't want to change doctors so it is what is is....INSANE!
Miz- Good to see you here again, we missed you! We already have an appt with a heart failure specialist on Friday. It's weird tho because his ankles have no swelling, his weight is pretty stable, appetite good - so not his usual CHF symptoms. I'm afraid they have him too fluid deprived with the new diuretic but he's so fragile that I'm afraid to hold it. Hopefully he can hold out until Friday morning at 9:30. I really don't want to bring him back to Loyola - it's always a new group of docs and then things get really screwed up. He's sleeping with oxygen tonite so hopefully he'll be better in the morning. You know so well my struggle - my only hope is that when he does go, it's peaceful like your mom. I know right now is very difficult but it will get better and we are all here for you so don't feel like you're alone in your grief - we love you and feel your pain more than you probably even realize.
it took me months. Still can't drive by the house Mom designed & bulit after we sold it. It was impossible to do anything sensibly for months after losing her. Don't push yourself with anything - or allow anyone else to.
Oh Miz and Rip and Jen. I am so sorry for all of your pain. Miz: Rip is right. be patient with yourself and don't let anyone try and force you into anything.
With me it was different. I slept in mom's bed just about the whole time after she died in it. Changed the sheets and crawled in. Crying now thinking about it. I just lay there hugging her pillow. Same pillow I sleep on now. Everybody's different and no one is right or wrong no matter what anyone says.
It's 5:30am and I am getting ready to move the boat. With all the sorrow and pain, I hope you all can find a moment to wish me luck. this is a big deal and I hope I don't participate in any full contact yachting today. (or any other day, for that matter.)
Rip, I know that you are going through a tough time with Miz's mom passing and all of the memories that stirred in you and probably all of us who have lost our moms. There are no words of wisdom, just the words you are so kind to give to others, use for yourself.
Jen, here's hoping the building inspector doesn't have the early onset and forgets he told you to yank the screws and put nails in; sees the nails and says... wait a minute..... one day I'll tell you how a stupid building inspector cost a little town a beautiful bookstore and in turn destroyed the downtown. No respect for the idiots.
Miz take your time I did not move anything of his for about 2 months-I kept thinking it was a dream and he would come back and yell at me once for moving HIS STUFF, Then slowly I started to get rid of clutter then put away some of his collectablies into storage so I can dust. Still have not touched the garage or his clothes closet and it has been a yr. and 6 months -do things your way what is best for you and do what feels right to you about Christmas-last year I was invited to my sisters keep in touch we all love you.
Everytime my dad was in the ICU,my daughter gave my dad her favorite blanket to keep him warm,you know how cold hosp. are.It has frogs all over it and says stuff like-be cool-just chillin-hip hopper.ALL the nurses would make comments over his blanket and he was proud because she loaned it to him. He passed away with that blanket comforting him and it is still her favorite blanket,she's carrying to the school bus this morning.Bon Voyage Bobbie,safe trip.I'm not worried about you driving the boat-worried about you parking the boat.
Good luck to bobbie on the boat journey. Quite an adventure! Miz and others,It must be so hard to go on after our loved one passes, so much of our energy and love has gone into taking care of them. And, if you are anything like me, my relationship with my siblings has gone "south" so they won't be much support. Glad we have each other on here. I have vna hospice coming in. It is more hectic than doing everything myself. But am giving it a chance. They are good people. I haven't gotten out all week because they keep coming in at different times. They can come in for 6 months, and recert for another 6 months, and then month to month. Next week a volunteer will start coming in to hang out with mom so I can start getting out more. I really miss being active. At least take a 30 min walk to "clear my head" We have sunny cool weather this morning in MA. No snow here yet. We usually get one or two storms but northern new england gets most of the white stuff.
Everytime we leave for a trip,we say our travelers prayer-Bobbie you need a special boaters prayer or do you already have one.Keep you safe from pirates-crazy drunk boaters-storms and crazy non-drunk boaters.Building inspectors here let you slip on anything if you are part of their crew,if you are not they will inforce what they can on you. I have been trying to get a wood stove installed as long as J. has been working with the ramp.Its cold as sh... and not done yet. He was making a fire hazzard and I told him I wanted it done right and haven't seen him since,still has his tools here.It should take 2 days not 2 months.Building inpectors are like lawyers its all about who you know.Theres stove dude,lets see what lies he has to tell.
I am thankfully getting a lot of support from my brother and SIL. I had to go to the funeral home yesterday to sign the cremation papers. Afterward we went for coffee. We talked about the financial stuff and then shared memories of Mom and Dad (mostly Mom) and our dog that we had from when I was born until I was 17 and other stuff. I have yet to see my sister. She is staying at her mother-in-laws house. Our relationship has gone way south. My brother and sister are both going home on Sunday which is the day after Mom's service. I am thinking about reading an article I wrote about Mom many years ago, at the service. I'm not sure I can do it and can make up my mind that day. She was my biggest fan. She and my best friend.
sskape, I'm glad hospice is there for you. Taking breaks is very important. As so many of you on here have told me. Be kind to yourself.
Mom's full obituary is in the paper today but I can't bring myself to read it. We used the pic that I having using for my profile pic on Facebook. Also, we are going to have that picture blown up and display it at the service.
Hubby has been such a great support to me through this. I am so grateful for him. I can't imagine going through this alone.
I will read all of your posts in time. I just can't go there yet. Please know I love and appreciate all of you. Thank you, my angels.
Driving your own boat in open waters must be very thrilling.You and Kitty aren't all alone are you?Miz. maybe you can go with Bobbie next time she moves her boat,water has healing powers.Carpentar says his own heating unit went out and he was having a booger repairing it.I think winter has pretty much made it.
good morning you all . miz , i am so sorry you cant goin ur moms bdrm . i thought of that myself when if pa passes how in the world am i going to go in his room ? i prob will shut the door and wait for years to pass before i can go in there . going to take pa to dr today . news said they have taken darvon and darvocets off the market . so need to go see if he would prescribe something eles . he s gotta have pain pills for his back since his bladder s has tumor on it . yesterday i didnt have any enegry and today seems like i dont have em either , think i ll go soak inthe hot bath and kickmyself in the hindend and build my enegry up . bobbie u becareful going out there open sea ! jaws be smelling u ! maybe dolphin will guide u the way to safe place . oh burr i am cold ! guess time for a good hot bath . you all have a wonderful day . xoxoxo
Bobbie - you be careful out there! But enjoy the freedom!! Miz - In good time, you'll be able to walk into your mom's room and remember all of the good times you had with her, knowing that she is at peace. So don't put pressure on yourself - YOU need time to heal, time to grieve, time to regroup. When you're ready, if you need a hand to hold, hold "teddy's" hand and we'll all be right there with you. Love you
Mizzy, I had an uncle who was very loved by us cousins, because he played with us when we were kids and he was very nice and funny. When he died, it was a big pain for all of us. So we wrote something for him. It was kind of a letter where we cousins thanked him for the good time we had spent with him, and we remembered what we had done together. One of us read it at his service. My aunt (her wife) was very glad and touched by this. If you don't feel you can read what you have written for your mom, why don't you find a relative of yours that can read it on your behalf? It is a pity if nobody reads it.
Wow! Moving the boat! Have a safe trip Bobbie! Miz, Good to hear from you. It is nice that you have your brother's support. I also have 1 sister that I never hear from and don't expect any help from. That's her loss. Take whatever time you need. We all go at our own pace when it comes to grieving. When Dad died 30 years ago, Mom could not sleep in their bed that night, but was back in it the next night. She also got rid of all his belongings quickly. I think it was her practical Yankee ways and also something to keep her busy and moving forward. She still had 2 children at home to care for and a house to keep up. She was never one to wear her emotions on her sleeve, so I'm sure she did her grieving in private when she was alone. Because he was so young, it took all of us a very long time to get over his loss. I still remember all 7 of us arguing after the funeral, that each of us was his favorite! That in itself tells you what kind of a man he was. It's been a long time, but I still have tears in my eyes as I write this. I know you will be fine, because of the good memories you have in your heart!
Hello all, Peace & comfort to you Miz. Safe journey Bobbie.
We were sooooo close to having mom's foot ulcer healed. Somehow got infected in the past week and we are back to square one. Can you say Munchusen, Narcissist that will do anything for attention? Lord I am so sick of this crazy person that has taken over my mother. Doc wrote a script for antibiotics and mentioned IV course of same......oh goody, she got Cdiff last time & it almost killed her....I can't wait to go thru that again...in & out of hosp & cleaning up explosive diareha. She said she was in pain so he also wrote a script for vicadin. I had to put my foot down on that one...they sent her back to me a junkie when she got her last knee replacement...sorry honey, you don't feel anything because of the neuropathy any other time & no you are not tricking me.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Bobbie, Getting a little Freudian are we? lol
Got mom's groceries yesterday. Her apt is set up so that you can't open the door to enter if the closet door is open....she was in there when I arrived but didn't hear me knock. I gently half closed the other door to enter & was in the kitchen when she came out. I said hi but she must have thought I was still in the hallway. "Is that you?....I'll be out of your way in a minute..". As I watched her from the kitchen stand and block the entrance for what seemed like forever......"I'm right here mom.....Is that you?...I'll be out of your way in a minute" (still blocking the door)...."No mom, I'm already inside"..."What? I'll be out of your way in a minute".....Honest, it was something out of a Laurel & Hardy movie. When she finally realized I was in the kitchen putting away the food she knew she was busted for intentionally blocking the door & was all sheepish & sweet. You would think...maybe she didn't hear me, but she did have her ear in & could hear everthing I said after that. Crazy can't even push my buttons efficiently anymore. Oh well. Another doc visit again today....hoping it goes peacefully.
Blessings to all.
Hope all are well today.
Miz! we love you!
Looks like we are moving the boat tomorrow so I am wrapping up everything here. Sweet!
We will run on the inside (Intracoastal Waterway) North to Jacksonville and be hauled out for the rest of the repairs. Finally.
Wish me luck. I'm driving. I spent all this time perusing the charts and it boils down to:
leave Marina.
Make left.
More later.
lovbob
Anyhow, it is thawing majorly here slush slush slush off the roof down yer neck...LOOK OUT, FLuummppph off the trees. very excitin..
I hope everyone is doing OK in there areas.
Here's one: just this afternoon a gal called back from Grandpa's Doctors office with the lab results and said..."Here is the new prescription, start giving him the Dilantin at 100 milligrams three times and day and come back on the tenth for a blood test to check the level again..."
I was a bit shocked......I told her that THAT IS THE DOSAGE HE IS CURRENTLY TAKING NOW...???
She was flustered and confused. I am not surprised...this office has lost charts, medications, missed appointments, not called back for three weeks for a test result that took four days...I mean were are looking at gross incompetence here now...
She gets a bye as she is a new employee there, but even the doctor is an imbecile I swear. If this was my doctor I would change doctors immediately but Grandpa doesn't want to change doctors so it is what is is....INSANE!
It was impossible to do anything sensibly for months after losing her.
Don't push yourself with anything - or allow anyone else to.
Oh Miz and Rip and Jen. I am so sorry for all of your pain.
Miz: Rip is right. be patient with yourself and don't let anyone try and force you into anything.
With me it was different. I slept in mom's bed just about the whole time after she died in it. Changed the sheets and crawled in. Crying now thinking about it. I just lay there hugging her pillow. Same pillow I sleep on now.
Everybody's different and no one is right or wrong no matter what anyone says.
It's 5:30am and I am getting ready to move the boat. With all the sorrow and pain, I hope you all can find a moment to wish me luck. this is a big deal and I hope I don't participate in any full contact yachting today. (or any other day, for that matter.)
Rip, I know that you are going through a tough time with Miz's mom passing and all of the memories that stirred in you and probably all of us who have lost our moms. There are no words of wisdom, just the words you are so kind to give to others, use for yourself.
Jen, here's hoping the building inspector doesn't have the early onset and forgets he told you to yank the screws and put nails in; sees the nails and says... wait a minute.....
one day I'll tell you how a stupid building inspector cost a little town a beautiful bookstore and in turn destroyed the downtown. No respect for the idiots.
ok crew. I'll check in later.
lovbob
Miz and others,It must be so hard to go on after our loved one passes, so much of our energy and love has gone into taking care of them. And, if you are anything like me, my relationship with my siblings has gone "south" so they won't be much support. Glad we have each other on here.
I have vna hospice coming in. It is more hectic than doing everything myself. But am giving it a chance. They are good people. I haven't gotten out all week because they keep coming in at different times. They can come in for 6 months, and recert for another 6 months, and then month to month. Next week a volunteer will start coming in to hang out with mom so I can start getting out more. I really miss being active. At least take a 30 min walk to "clear my head"
We have sunny cool weather this morning in MA. No snow here yet. We usually get one or two storms but northern new england gets most of the white stuff.
sskape, I'm glad hospice is there for you. Taking breaks is very important. As so many of you on here have told me. Be kind to yourself.
Mom's full obituary is in the paper today but I can't bring myself to read it. We used the pic that I having using for my profile pic on Facebook. Also, we are going to have that picture blown up and display it at the service.
Hubby has been such a great support to me through this. I am so grateful for him. I can't imagine going through this alone.
I will read all of your posts in time. I just can't go there yet. Please know I love and appreciate all of you. Thank you, my angels.
love,
miz
miz
Here's to safe and sane boating!
And not being bitten awake by hungry cat at 4 AM... CLEO!
miz , i am so sorry you cant goin ur moms bdrm . i thought of that myself when if pa passes how in the world am i going to go in his room ? i prob will shut the door and wait for years to pass before i can go in there .
going to take pa to dr today . news said they have taken darvon and darvocets off the market . so need to go see if he would prescribe something eles . he s gotta have pain pills for his back since his bladder s has tumor on it .
yesterday i didnt have any enegry and today seems like i dont have em either , think i ll go soak inthe hot bath and kickmyself in the hindend and build my enegry up .
bobbie u becareful going out there open sea ! jaws be smelling u ! maybe dolphin will guide u the way to safe place .
oh burr i am cold ! guess time for a good hot bath .
you all have a wonderful day . xoxoxo
Miz - In good time, you'll be able to walk into your mom's room and remember all of the good times you had with her, knowing that she is at peace. So don't put pressure on yourself - YOU need time to heal, time to grieve, time to regroup. When you're ready, if you need a hand to hold, hold "teddy's" hand and we'll all be right there with you. Love you
If you don't feel you can read what you have written for your mom, why don't you find a relative of yours that can read it on your behalf? It is a pity if nobody reads it.
Miz, Good to hear from you. It is nice that you have your brother's support. I also have 1 sister that I never hear from and don't expect any help from. That's her loss. Take whatever time you need. We all go at our own pace when it comes to grieving. When Dad died 30 years ago, Mom could not sleep in their bed that night, but was back in it the next night. She also got rid of all his belongings quickly. I think it was her practical Yankee ways and also something to keep her busy and moving forward. She still had 2 children at home to care for and a house to keep up. She was never one to wear her emotions on her sleeve, so I'm sure she did her grieving in private when she was alone. Because he was so young, it took all of us a very long time to get over his loss. I still remember all 7 of us arguing after the funeral, that each of us was his favorite! That in itself tells you what kind of a man he was. It's been a long time, but I still have tears in my eyes as I write this.
I know you will be fine, because of the good memories you have in your heart!
Peace & comfort to you Miz.
Safe journey Bobbie.
We were sooooo close to having mom's foot ulcer healed. Somehow got infected in the past week and we are back to square one. Can you say Munchusen, Narcissist that will do anything for attention? Lord I am so sick of this crazy person that has taken over my mother. Doc wrote a script for antibiotics and mentioned IV course of same......oh goody, she got Cdiff last time & it almost killed her....I can't wait to go thru that again...in & out of hosp & cleaning up explosive diareha. She said she was in pain so he also wrote a script for vicadin. I had to put my foot down on that one...they sent her back to me a junkie when she got her last knee replacement...sorry honey, you don't feel anything because of the neuropathy any other time & no you are not tricking me.
GOD help us!!!!!!