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selfish, I take care of mil....my mom put herself in nursing home. If I had to take care of both I really do believe I would cut my throat. J, I agree.....leave my little dog alone.....I have a 14 yr old female poodle, blind, deaf and has 3 teeth left and a heart still as big as the moon!
I have to say I am glad to have found all of you.....you have given me good and helpful advice and even listened while I whined and bitched. That I think has been a Godsend.......of course my hubby doesn't want to hear what a pain in the arse his mommy is....but none of you sit in judgement since you've been there, done that........
cat......you are not alone. Your mom sounds like my mil. The day she stepped on my last nerve and it snapped, scared the hell out of her when I snatched her scrawny butt up off the couch, stripped her naked and put her in the tub. Now gets bathed twice a week and doesn't smell like the bottom of an outhouse toilet. I let my son know now just how much I love him and know he will care for me when I get to that "awful" mental time. I have 2 daughters who are self-centered brats and thinks the world revolves around them....oops there I go again!
Yes Meow, the stress of caregiving is very strong and it affects people in different ways, as I have seen from this thread. Everyone has his reactions. I scream sometimes, I am just depressed sometimes, I say stupid things sometimes, I dream of vacations and just carry my mind and soul out of here. I drink, sometimes! There are a few good days where I feel happy anyway. But I am always tired! I am talking about myself. Many people here deal with this situation better than I do. Which I regret most is the loss of freedom... BTW I have many cats. One is just sitting in my lap and purring purring.
Meow, welcome!! I haven't said much lately cause I'm so sad about my mom. Getting through each day and hour. This group has been such a support for me that mere words can not express it. Please stick with us. You will be glad you did. SelfishSiblings, I don't think I have greeted you yet either and I am sorry. Welcome!!
rosellamex, I like your purple cat logo. It's cute I tried to go on a diet today and did well until an hour ago when I drank some rum and tonic and then baked some christmas cookies and ate them. Italy My Mom is Ialian my Dad, Polish. Mom's family all born here, Dad's came over on "the boat" When I was 16 we took a trip to Europe an went to Rome, then on to Switzerland. Skiing. Those were the good old days. We went to a town in Italy in the mountains, Corvesa ? My Dad fell in love with Italy while serving in WWII. He married my Mom, and Italian, who was 15 yrs younger than him. Now I'm taking care of her as he passed on in 1997. I have had a couple of rums so I' babbling. ssk
ssk ,i need to try that rum . rum and 7up ? think i had that before , been years ! tmr my hubby and i are going with 2 other couple to a bday party , dj jammin ! so we re going to go mex place and have dinner and margaritta , friend doesnt drink so he s going to drive ! so that tells me i ll prob be sick sunday :-) daughter is going to sit with dad . woohoo had hard time with dad a bit ago , think his demtentia is getting worst , he wants his coat and gotta go get hi scar blah blah blah , i open the front door to show him that its dark out he doesnt care get my coat linda i gotta get my car waaaaaaa . van is in the drive way thats ur car , nooooo it aint thats urs waaaaaaa go get my coat i gotta gotta , i put his coat on and stood by the woodstove bragging how warm this stove is and talked him into about how hungry i am and its time to fix dinner , blah blah finaly he gave up said ok im hungry . man its getting worst , been like that all week long . wheres gerogiapeach ! wheres deefer ? somebody eles is missing , miz i am so sorry . it will take a long time to heal ur heart and take ur sadness away , i think it would be nice if u and hubby could just get away and take a roadtrip to bobbie s boat ? if u do go plz stop by here and take me , lol love you girl ! i need to go out in the van and look for that strap my friend gave me , may tie that to guard rail to guardrail and see if it helps to keep him in bed ? pillows tuck in sheets etc just not workin , found him on the floor at 3 am this mornin , lucky he s ok . ill be back after meduims over . xoxoox
To continue my story, I married an Irish man and we had two wonderful sons, now 26 and 31. Chris, my hubby, passed away two years ago. So here I am drinking rum and tonic and talking to you folks. I'm waiting for bobbie to pull up in her Trawler to take us all out for a ride!
Linda, before drinking the rum you have to try to go on a diet and then break down and have a drink instead. I would think it is harder to care for a Dad with Alz than a Mom. My Dad had demenia and refused to get into a wheelchair and would not cooperate at all. He kept calling out for Dr. Kavorkian to "put him to sleep " Now I know better what my Mom had to go through.
It's rough, sskape. My mom was so kind and sweet 99% of the time and it was still hard. Had it been my dad I think it would have been even harder. As much as I hate the fact that he passed 5 years ago and as much as I miss him, I would not have wanted to see him in that state. I feel bad saying that but I feel certain he would not have wanted it either. Linda my heart goes out to you. The great thing is that it seems like your pa is happy at least some of the time. That is thanks to you, sweetie. :) You ARE an angel. Enjoy your dad. I know he is grateful.
Sskape, how nice! Italy, Poland, Ireland. You have a pretty good idea of old Europe! My logo is a tattoo I have on my shoulder. I "doctored" it with a very simple software, but it is taken by a photo of the tattoo. Of course the original is a black cat; I put on a sweater because it's cold. Linda, I understand you so well. My mother always wants to go out. Day, night, she does not care. She can't stay still. She calms down just the evening because she is tired. But for the rest of the time, it seems she has a battery inside that never stops. I don't know where she finds all that energy. I think this is why I am so tired. It's difficult to keep pace with her. She tries to escape a lot. From the house, from the car.... It's a mess. Miz, I think it is a very good idea you take your hubby and you go somewhere. You need it right now....
SelfSib, there is a lady here, Angie, who takes care of both parents. She has not written here for a while. I guess she does not have the time to switch on the computer! If you look back in the messages, I think one month or two month ago, you can write her.
rossella, we are going for one night to St. Louis to see a college basketball game on Dec. 22nd. Then we will go to hubby's parents for Christmas on the 24th for one or two nights. We will talk about something longer soon. It is REALLY hard for me right now being in this house. I miss my mama.
Miz-I understand how you feel, my sweet Mom has been gone for 5 months and I re-live that sad day daily, I feel so alone now, I pray it gets easier in the near future. I am alone now, husbands been gone for years and life is just empty.
rossellamex - Thank you. I'll look back in the posts. Thnx very much :) Yikes! When I heard NO one was caring for two parents; made me feel very alone. But that's ok. It's the reality of it. I think I'm a new generation and there are going to be a lot more of me sooner than we think. Because of medical technology of course. I'm not complaining, just explaining. Regardless, it's daunting, especially because both my sister and brother have abandoned me. One only wants their money and the other is just lazy.
And then I had to take Monty into to the vet for emergency surgery tonight, while mom was at work and fart pants was at ADH, I had to call a cab and time it so I would be home before he was... Vet had to remove blocking bladder stones....God just kill me now...It cost $881.oo dollars, yes wiped out my moms savings in checking on the day she gave her notice at work...I don't care anymore I just don't care. It is just more misery about money I don't have. I don't care let them stew. He has more money in his checking than she makes in three years and as he DOES NOT PAY US...WELL HE CAN JUST BE USEFUL TILL HE IS DEAD!!! IF I COULD GET DRUNK I WOULD SCAPE YOU WILL HAVE TO IMBIBE FOR ME. I can't take any more...
Hey Everybody! Linda, you're so sweet to ask where I am! I'm here! Been reading the posts every day. Most of the time I don't have the energy to post anything, but I still feel connected by reading what my online family has to say! I don't know what's wrong with me...I have absolutely NO energy whatsoever!!! Plus I have my days & nights turned around, which is making it more difficult! Not going to bed until usually 4 am & then don't want to get up when I need to in the morning. HUUUmmmm...I haven't had rum & Coke in years & would consider that to help me get to sleep earlier, but can't do any alkie with my med. Bummer!!! I think the med may be the culprit, too that's making my sleep asque! Oh well...
Miz, I really wish that I knew what to say or do to make things easier for you & to help you through this. Please know that my heart is there with you & if I can do anything for you all you have to do is to let me know. I'll be glad when you get to go to the boat!
Jen, that's wonderful news that your Mom has resigned from her job! What did her bosses say today to her? I hope your foot gets better REAL soon...sooner than expected & that you'll be able to get out of the house & find a job & start rebuilding your life! You are SO articulate, have you thought of working at a newspaper office? I think you'd be great at it!
Ted, how wonderful that you may get to Bobbie's in Jan.!!! You know we'll all be there with you in spirit! You go guy!!!
Rossella, you're so funny! You always make me laugh! You have really amazing insight! How good you are to your Mom! Be proud of YOU!!!
Linda, you take such good are of Pa! I am so sorry that you're going through this change with him. I know it's difficult to see the changes.
Rip, you know how special you are to me! Sisters!!! One that I actually like! LOL
Bobbie, Captain!!! Still staying warm?? Not physic...just concerned! We're a team & have to take care of & be there for each other! You know, the way that you care!
Kuli, Tenn, 'Lil Tenny, Castoff, Deefer, Diane, Austin, SS, Pirate, Angie, Kelleybean,(please forgive me if I'm haven't included you...it wasn't intentional) what you're doing or have done, too, is SO commendable! Unless you're a caregiver you don't understand what a sacrifice you've given! You guys are ALL Aces, in my book...Everyone of you caregivers!!!
SelfSib, ssk, Jam & catsmeow, WELCOME to our family!!! You're one of us, now! I can tell you from experience that this site has helped not only me, but each of us to survive this tremendous ordeal that we've been through! You guys are always there with just the right word at just the right time to make a difference...probably even a difference in life or death if we were all that honest with each other! I know that I sure am glad that I found this site when I did. I was going through a very dark time in my life & I don't think I'd have made it without you! Thank You! I'm real sentimental about you guys!
By the way, it's nice to hear each others backgrounds of where you've come from & where you are now & where you hope to be in the future. Love the stories!
It is so comforting to read each of your posts. I can see that my situation is far better than most, and here I was thinking my case was pretty bad. A few of my friends have elderly parents still living, but it doesn't seem like they are having the same issues. Their parent's minds still seem intact.
My mom is in the early to mid stages of dementia I believe. I'm not sure how they differentiate dementia from alzheimer's, but I know that alzheimer's is more difficult to deal with than dementia. My mother hasn't started wandering yet, and for the most part she's coherent and not belligerent. She doesn't demand to go out at odd times and seems pretty aware of her surroundings. She's just not into bathing or cleanliness, or eating.
A friend of mine, who is a nurse, said that they've used the yellow police tape in nursing homes to stop people from wandering. She said that there's something about the tape that they don't cross. I'm going to check back with her to confirm this, but I remember her telling me even if it's taped to the floor, they won't cross it.
And yes, I could not survive without my cat! She's a Godsend, just like the folks on this forum. Thanks all!
meow, has your mom been put on any medication? It sure sounds like Alzheimer's to me. My mom was put on Aricept and then later also Namenda. I truly believe that this slowed down the progression. A doctor can make a diagnosis of Alzheimer's but there is no way to tell 100% that it is Alzheimer's. The only way to tell is via an autopsy. My mom would have never worn stained clothing but as the Alzheimer's progressed she did not seem to care or was not aware her clothes were stained. The doc said that is one way to tell that it's Alz. She didn't think she needed to bath either. Told me she didn't do anything to get dirty. She didn't want to shower and I think that is because it scared her. My heart goes out to you. Mom's doc said they will find a cure but not in our lifetime. Just try to be patient and know that her odd behavior is not her fault. I'm sure you are patient because I can feel your love in your posts. And remember, no one is perfect. Dealing with it can be very frustrating. You are doing a wonderful thing taking care of her. I share your love for cats as do many on this site. Hugs to you.
Hi everyone it snowed a little here last night but the roads look ok. I hope God gives you an extra measure of compasion today and The Cat welcome come on anytime and you will get support and love which will help a lot and try to get some me time each day.
Miz, it sounds like you have a good doctor. I have found the healthcare system difficult to deal with. There are good doctors and there are not-so-good doctors. With managed care I realized I needed to be my own patient advocate. Doctors don't get involved in proactive care anymore.
My parents don't get that. They are used to the days when the doc came to the house. Therefore, they assumed they were getting the care they needed even though it was woefully lacking. I moved back home to care for them in May and have at least been able to make some progress.
That being said, my mom's doctor isn't proactive at all. My mom's down to 90 pounds and nobody at her doctor's office seems to notice. She has been depressed for years, and a year or two ago, when I was still living 400 miles away, I tried to coordinate a visit to her doctor for treatment for depression. My mother insists that she is not depressed so we (my father and I) didn't want the doctor to say that's why she was seeing my mom. I called ahead, twice, once to schedule the appointment and once to confirm that I didn't want the doctor telling my mom she was being seen for depression. I left a message with the receptionist each time.
That was a mistake. The doctor never got the message (I presume) and saw my mother and only gave her more blood pressure medicine. Never asked her about depression.
So now we are back to making another attempt. I have to call to schedule the appointment again. The doctor is somewhat reluctant to discuss my mother's care because of confidentiality laws. I guess I need to have my name listed as a contact so that she can discuss my mother's care with me.
It's frustrating, and exhausting to keep up the care plan. Since the doctors aren't proactive, I feel like I have to be the one mentioning the care I think she needs and the medication. That seems crazy, backward to me, but that's the way it is.
So no, Miz, we haven't looked into that medication yet. I think Monday I will call and ask to speak with her doctor directly. I feel like the doctors look at them as old and ready to die so they don't offer them much attention. It's just sad. My poor father hasn't known what to do and I feel bad for him too. I know he gets just as frustrated as I do.
cat I feel for you greatly and you have hit on several points. If you see my profile, you will note that I am married to a physician and I spent 25 yrs as a paramedic. And yes I am sorry to say that the healthcare system is not the way it used to be. There are docs out there that do care, I have one and I also use him for my mil. If I were you I would start talking to friends, etc and find another doctor. Do you have POA? If not, you will get no information because HIPPA prevents you from that. Anyone violating HIPPA is hit with an initial $25000 fine. Any wonder they won't talk? And yes you are also correct in that some doctors look at the elderly as "they have lived their lives, we will just make them comfortable" kind of attitude. Not all of them are like that. Let me give you an example of a day or night in the ER where my hubby works........12 hr shifts....only 1 doc with 11 rooms to treat. There are 2 chest pains, a possible stroke and a GI bleed and these are probably the elderly.......in walks thoughout all this several "my tooth hurts, my back hurts, I fell (no marks or bruises mind you), hysterical crying because "i had diarrhea 3 times and I have a headache".....these people MUST be seen immediately and if they don't walk out with a narcotic script they write a complaint about how mean and nasty the doctor was and wouldn't treat them right!!!!!!! Now I'm not saying the care for those with "real" problems is lacking, but you can see why patient care affects some of these docs. My hubby, who is director of the er, now has a policy to take a urine drug screen for those people with "suspicious" complaints. It's funny how many of them just take off out the door. And these people never pay for their care....that's why they are there to begin with, they owe their doc $$$$$$$$, their own doc gave them a script for narcs and they either sold them or took them all within a couple of days and they need another stash.And payments for services? Depending on what they do.....the other day hubby "worked" a cardiac arrest for 2.5 hrs and his cut of the Medicare/Medicaid payment will be $25. Ok I'm babbling again.................with POA you will be able to get health information and can be more proactive with the care of your mother. I wish you well and keep trying because there are docs out there who do care.
Ok the falls under the topic "Grossed out" My husband and I have moved in with his Step-Father. I had NO idea how hard it would be. I'm so tired of listening to the same old stories over and over but that's actually the EASY part. I have used 4 20oz cans of Lysol in the bathroom in 7 months. The bathroom is the hardest thing to deal with. "Grandpa" as we call him can't reach to use toilet tissue. So his doctor suggested using an old hand towel with soap and water to clean himself. The problem is when he's done in the bathroom it looks like he's taken a shower on the toilet. Water everywhere! So I have to clean the sink AGAIN the toilet AGAIN and clean up the water all over the floor. Then (get this) he hangs the dirty used towel on a small towel rack on the side of the sink, where we have to see and smell it every time we use the bathroom. UGH!! How do I get him to put it in maybe a diaper pail each time he uses one? I'm so tired of the arguing, he thinks what he's doing is fine..... :-( Carat6108
crow - what do u mean u think u ll leave and good bye , mmmm now got me wondering why you say that for ? what is the matter ? hope what ever is bothering you will become better . weathers gloomy , suppose get afternoon rain and then rain rain and then turn into mix . we will be going out to eat and then go to 40 th bday party , i am so ready , i hope my desenation driver is not afraid to drive on messy road . if he is i ll drive !!! :-) drive like a old old woman , creeeepppp .
pa woke up needing to go pee . man he s still peeing blood the 4th day of it . tears my heart out . makin me wonder how much time does he have left ? :-( i just hate it so much , damn tumor to hell ! i think i ll call the urineoligst and set up an appt and go talk to him alone . i need to know what to expect and how long etc . jsomebody , how is ur dog ? if i read it right u gave the dr ok to remove the stones out - 800 dollars job ., if your dog is old blind and deaf , im afraid the operation prob kill him or shorten his life . 800 bucks is alotta money . i hope it all turns out for the better . love you girl .. g.p . u got al the missing people s name on it ! i wrecked my brain tryin to think who eles ! lol . i understand what ure saying . i took done same thing . get on and read and get off , dont feel like saying anything , then bam when i feel upisty do do i ll say something . i think it is ok to drink once in a while , while n meds . but just dont do it everyday everyday and every hour etc , one or 2 once a great while aint going to hurt . myhusband is on heart meds and man he slurps his beer , loves his beer and i worry about that cuz i dont want his liver to ruin ! my brother was on antidepression meds and he drank so much it was awful ! then he quit drinking and had his liver cked out , its good liver ! oh thank u jesus ! there is a time and a place for a speical drinks , just dont abuse urself with it cuz it can do more damages than good . thats why i refuse to get on antidepressions cuz i fear that i would become more depended on it . when i get so bad nerve wrecking ijust go to bed and sleep it off or if i cant go to bed i pop me a zannie and im good . well i think im going to take me a hot bath and then kick my hindend to clean up around here and bam it be time to go bye bye . mexican resturant have me a good dinner and a mean ole big fat margaritta , you all have a good day , xoxoox
carat, they make products that hold the toilet tissue so that it makes it easier for those who can't reach. The older they get the worse it gets....I have to remind mil to wash her hands after she squeezes around on her depends to see if they are wet. I make her use cottonelle wipes to clean with, if she forgets and throws one in the toilet they are supposed to break up in water..... and I've had to make her clean the poop out from under her fingernails. So far I have resisted cleaning her toilet, she has to be told to do it, but I think my day is coming! Yes you will hear the stories over and over and over and over....memory spans are not that long. Take away all the towels and put out as I call them "butt wipes". If he hangs one up at least you can just grab it and toss. Hang one of those automatic air fresheners on the wall....I use them for mil and it smells so much better. It's hard for the parent to be treated like a child and there will be arguing unfortunately when you are trying to steer them in the right direction. Be firm and some things will become easier for you to deal with.....
catsmeow- the biggest problem with depression is that the person affected doesn't realize it. I care for my husband (60 years) and when asked by the doctor if I was depressed I said "no'. Now I realize that my sense if inadequacy is depression.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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J, I agree.....leave my little dog alone.....I have a 14 yr old female poodle, blind, deaf and has 3 teeth left and a heart still as big as the moon!
BTW I have many cats. One is just sitting in my lap and purring purring.
love,
miz
I tried to go on a diet today and did well until an hour ago when I drank some rum and tonic and then baked some
christmas cookies and ate them.
Italy My Mom is Ialian my Dad, Polish. Mom's family all born here, Dad's came over on "the boat" When I was 16 we took a trip to Europe an went to Rome, then on to Switzerland. Skiing. Those were the good old days. We went to a town in Italy in the mountains, Corvesa ? My Dad fell in love with Italy while serving in WWII. He married my Mom, and Italian, who was 15 yrs younger than him. Now I'm taking care of her as he passed on in 1997. I have had a couple of rums so I' babbling.
ssk
tmr my hubby and i are going with 2 other couple to a bday party , dj jammin ! so we re going to go mex place and have dinner and margaritta , friend doesnt drink so he s going to drive ! so that tells me i ll prob be sick sunday :-) daughter is going to sit with dad . woohoo
had hard time with dad a bit ago , think his demtentia is getting worst , he wants his coat and gotta go get hi scar blah blah blah , i open the front door to show him that its dark out he doesnt care get my coat linda i gotta get my car waaaaaaa . van is in the drive way thats ur car , nooooo it aint thats urs waaaaaaa go get my coat i gotta gotta , i put his coat on and stood by the woodstove bragging how warm this stove is and talked him into about how hungry i am and its time to fix dinner , blah blah finaly he gave up said ok im hungry .
man its getting worst , been like that all week long .
wheres gerogiapeach ! wheres deefer ? somebody eles is missing ,
miz i am so sorry . it will take a long time to heal ur heart and take ur sadness away , i think it would be nice if u and hubby could just get away and take a roadtrip to bobbie s boat ? if u do go plz stop by here and take me , lol love you girl !
i need to go out in the van and look for that strap my friend gave me , may tie that to guard rail to guardrail and see if it helps to keep him in bed ? pillows tuck in sheets etc just not workin , found him on the floor at 3 am this mornin , lucky he s ok .
ill be back after meduims over . xoxoox
love,
miz
Linda, I understand you so well. My mother always wants to go out. Day, night, she does not care. She can't stay still. She calms down just the evening because she is tired. But for the rest of the time, it seems she has a battery inside that never stops. I don't know where she finds all that energy. I think this is why I am so tired. It's difficult to keep pace with her. She tries to escape a lot. From the house, from the car.... It's a mess.
Miz, I think it is a very good idea you take your hubby and you go somewhere. You need it right now....
IF I COULD GET DRUNK I WOULD SCAPE YOU WILL HAVE TO IMBIBE FOR ME.
I can't take any more...
Miz, I really wish that I knew what to say or do to make things easier for you & to help you through this. Please know that my heart is there with you & if I can do anything for you all you have to do is to let me know. I'll be glad when you get to go to the boat!
Jen, that's wonderful news that your Mom has resigned from her job! What did her bosses say today to her? I hope your foot gets better REAL soon...sooner than expected & that you'll be able to get out of the house & find a job & start rebuilding your life! You are SO articulate, have you thought of working at a newspaper office? I think you'd be great at it!
Ted, how wonderful that you may get to Bobbie's in Jan.!!! You know we'll all be there with you in spirit! You go guy!!!
Rossella, you're so funny! You always make me laugh! You have really amazing insight! How good you are to your Mom! Be proud of YOU!!!
Linda, you take such good are of Pa! I am so sorry that you're going through this change with him. I know it's difficult to see the changes.
Rip, you know how special you are to me! Sisters!!! One that I actually like! LOL
Bobbie, Captain!!! Still staying warm?? Not physic...just concerned! We're a team & have to take care of & be there for each other! You know, the way that you care!
Kuli, Tenn, 'Lil Tenny, Castoff, Deefer, Diane, Austin, SS, Pirate, Angie, Kelleybean,(please forgive me if I'm haven't included you...it wasn't intentional) what you're doing or have done, too, is SO commendable! Unless you're a caregiver you don't understand what a sacrifice you've given! You guys are ALL Aces, in my book...Everyone of you caregivers!!!
SelfSib, ssk, Jam & catsmeow, WELCOME to our family!!! You're one of us, now! I can tell you from experience that this site has helped not only me, but each of us to survive this tremendous ordeal that we've been through! You guys are always there with just the right word at just the right time to make a difference...probably even a difference in life or death if we were all that honest with each other! I know that I sure am glad that I found this site when I did. I was going through a very dark time in my life & I don't think I'd have made it without you! Thank You! I'm real sentimental about you guys!
By the way, it's nice to hear each others backgrounds of where you've come from & where you are now & where you hope to be in the future. Love the stories!
Smiles & hugs to everyone!
Goodnight,
Peach
Goodnight and goodbye
My mom is in the early to mid stages of dementia I believe. I'm not sure how they differentiate dementia from alzheimer's, but I know that alzheimer's is more difficult to deal with than dementia. My mother hasn't started wandering yet, and for the most part she's coherent and not belligerent. She doesn't demand to go out at odd times and seems pretty aware of her surroundings. She's just not into bathing or cleanliness, or eating.
A friend of mine, who is a nurse, said that they've used the yellow police tape in nursing homes to stop people from wandering. She said that there's something about the tape that they don't cross. I'm going to check back with her to confirm this, but I remember her telling me even if it's taped to the floor, they won't cross it.
And yes, I could not survive without my cat! She's a Godsend, just like the folks on this forum. Thanks all!
love,
miz
My parents don't get that. They are used to the days when the doc came to the house. Therefore, they assumed they were getting the care they needed even though it was woefully lacking. I moved back home to care for them in May and have at least been able to make some progress.
That being said, my mom's doctor isn't proactive at all. My mom's down to 90 pounds and nobody at her doctor's office seems to notice. She has been depressed for years, and a year or two ago, when I was still living 400 miles away, I tried to coordinate a visit to her doctor for treatment for depression. My mother insists that she is not depressed so we (my father and I) didn't want the doctor to say that's why she was seeing my mom. I called ahead, twice, once to schedule the appointment and once to confirm that I didn't want the doctor telling my mom she was being seen for depression. I left a message with the receptionist each time.
That was a mistake. The doctor never got the message (I presume) and saw my mother and only gave her more blood pressure medicine. Never asked her about depression.
So now we are back to making another attempt. I have to call to schedule the appointment again. The doctor is somewhat reluctant to discuss my mother's care because of confidentiality laws. I guess I need to have my name listed as a contact so that she can discuss my mother's care with me.
It's frustrating, and exhausting to keep up the care plan. Since the doctors aren't proactive, I feel like I have to be the one mentioning the care I think she needs and the medication. That seems crazy, backward to me, but that's the way it is.
So no, Miz, we haven't looked into that medication yet. I think Monday I will call and ask to speak with her doctor directly. I feel like the doctors look at them as old and ready to die so they don't offer them much attention. It's just sad. My poor father hasn't known what to do and I feel bad for him too. I know he gets just as frustrated as I do.
My husband and I have moved in with his Step-Father. I had NO idea how hard it would be. I'm so tired of listening to the same old stories over and over but that's actually the EASY part.
I have used 4 20oz cans of Lysol in the bathroom in 7 months. The bathroom is the hardest thing to deal with. "Grandpa" as we call him can't reach to use toilet tissue. So his doctor suggested using an old hand towel with soap and water to clean himself. The problem is when he's done in the bathroom it looks like he's taken a shower on the toilet. Water everywhere! So I have to clean the sink AGAIN the toilet AGAIN and clean up the water all over the floor. Then (get this) he hangs the dirty used towel on a small towel rack on the side of the sink, where we have to see and smell it every time we use the bathroom. UGH!! How do I get him to put it in maybe a diaper pail each time he uses one? I'm so tired of the arguing, he thinks what he's doing is fine..... :-(
Carat6108
weathers gloomy , suppose get afternoon rain and then rain rain and then turn into mix . we will be going out to eat and then go to 40 th bday party , i am so ready , i hope my desenation driver is not afraid to drive on messy road . if he is i ll drive !!! :-) drive like a old old woman , creeeepppp .
pa woke up needing to go pee . man he s still peeing blood the 4th day of it . tears my heart out . makin me wonder how much time does he have left ? :-( i just hate it so much , damn tumor to hell ! i think i ll call the urineoligst and set up an appt and go talk to him alone . i need to know what to expect and how long etc .
jsomebody , how is ur dog ? if i read it right u gave the dr ok to remove the stones out - 800 dollars job ., if your dog is old blind and deaf , im afraid the operation prob kill him or shorten his life . 800 bucks is alotta money . i hope it all turns out for the better . love you girl ..
g.p . u got al the missing people s name on it ! i wrecked my brain tryin to think who eles ! lol . i understand what ure saying . i took done same thing . get on and read and get off , dont feel like saying anything , then bam when i feel upisty do do i ll say something . i think it is ok to drink once in a while , while n meds . but just dont do it everyday everyday and every hour etc , one or 2 once a great while aint going to hurt . myhusband is on heart meds and man he slurps his beer , loves his beer and i worry about that cuz i dont want his liver to ruin !
my brother was on antidepression meds and he drank so much it was awful ! then he quit drinking and had his liver cked out , its good liver ! oh thank u jesus ! there is a time and a place for a speical drinks , just dont abuse urself with it cuz it can do more damages than good .
thats why i refuse to get on antidepressions cuz i fear that i would become more depended on it . when i get so bad nerve wrecking ijust go to bed and sleep it off or if i cant go to bed i pop me a zannie and im good .
well i think im going to take me a hot bath and then kick my hindend to clean up around here and bam it be time to go bye bye . mexican resturant have me a good dinner and a mean ole big fat margaritta ,
you all have a good day , xoxoox