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rossellamex:

Thanks for your input. If I touch Grandpa's "potty towels" (and I wouldn't want to) and put them in "his" washer and dryer, he'd have a cow!! He is the only one who can use the washer and dryer and will only use cold water (so why bother to wash at all right?) for those disgusting rags and he washes them right along with all his clothes then drys in the smell in the dryer. Then he comes up the stairs after his shower wearing old cut off shorts that have been worn all week smelling of feces. It just grosses me out to the point I just stay in my room some days and play games on the computer or watch my own TV. Ya, talk about depressed, I could tell you so much more. :-(
Carat6108
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carat, have you talked to your doctor about you? lexapro is a good antidepressant; my doc put me on low dose valium and I can get through the day well and can deal with mil so much better, and at night I sleep like a baby, but can wake up easily if I need to. and of course a couple glasses of rum and coke don't hurt...:) hangover relief? fix yourself a glass of alka-seltzer and drink it before going to bed.....no hangover, no stopped up feeling.
nursing home called me last night......busted my mother again. she has to wear ankle bracelet because she likes to elope out the front door. was leaving last night cuz ex-husband and 5 children were waiting for her. not sure which ex and last time i checked all 5 of us kids are alive and kicking! mil hasn't started acting like a weenie yet today, but hey it's still early...:)
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Three old guys were sitting on the porch of the old folks home.
the first guy says:
Boy, I would give all the money I made in the stock market to be able to pee.
The second guys says:
I hear you. I would give up all the money I made in real estate to be able to poop.
The third guy says:
I don't know wht you two are talking about.
Every morning at 7 am I have a nice pee and then at 7:30am I have a nice poop.
If I could only get out of bed before 8........

lovbob
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GOOD ONE LOL
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LOL Bobbie!!
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Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One was a salted.
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Hubby & I just got back a little bit ago from getting rid of the old mattress and box springs and eating at IHOP. We had a 20% coupon and those pancakes were good. I still have lots of thank you notes to write. The hard part right now is just getting started. It's snowing and blowing here and cold. Linda, are you getting this storm?
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Joke: A little long but very funny....

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "you have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?"

The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"
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Hahahahaha!! Self!!
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OMG. Remember when we lost Sandy for almost 24 hours? We got home from taking the bed and eating lunch and could not find Sassy. Looked and looked and looked and looked. I was so afraid she had gotten out in this snow storm when we moved the bed out of the house. (It wasn't bad then but the storm is pretty bad now.) FINALLY, we found her under Mom's bed. Hubby didn't know if she was okay. We got her out and she seems okay. We're gonna keep an eye on her. We had called her and called her. That's where she hid after she ate the yarn so I was very worried. I couldn't take losing one of my babies after losing Mom. Way too much to handle. I was praying and praying.

love,
miz
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Here's the background on that joke. My Mom, who has meals on wheels delivered, gave ME this joke! She thought it was so cute! Her 85 year old friend sent it to her. So some of our seniors are still laughing and I think that is great!
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Keep the jokes comming when we get the next town paper I will put on there I have to read it when I am by myself I laugh so hard people stare at me, Jan the NH should lock the doors at night-the staff can have one enterance with someone watching. Years ago when I was working I went past a NH at about 5;30 in the morning and a lady was barefoot wearing a mink coat it was early March and very cold I did not see any car around so I said to myself I will turn around and go back and look again and if I saw right I would go the a nearby state police station well before I knew it a police car pulled up and she opened her fur coat and she had no clothes on when I got to work I told others you will not believe what I just saw-a few days later the paper had a piece about an elopee nude lady from the NH. Miz just take your time with the notes my husband died in June that year and it took until time for writing Christmas cards before I got done. Crowe it was good to hear from you.
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Several years ago I treated a nice little old lady who had wandered out the back door of a nursing home and was there for 40 min before she was found. The middle of a Missouri summer, around 100 degrees out. At least they were smart enough to put her in bed and turn air conditioner on. Core temp measured 107, skin bright red and HOT to touch. Poor baby, the angels were looking over my shoulder cuz I got the iv first shot, she was very dehydrated, filled her full of fluid and put ice packs under arms and in groin. Took her to hubby who was on duty in ER, she did fine and went back to nh in a few days. Probably had no family advocate for her, this nh was more for those with public administrators. I've often thought of her and how her life ended.......it was personnel at that same home who told me they didn't pay them enough to care. Kinda sickening...........
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Jam, you are such a good person.
Maxine! love you gurl.

I actually think that's where I will wind up, in some state NH where no one cares enough about anything. it's kind of sad, but I don't have anyone and that's the way it goes.
probably won't live that long anyway so who cares.

Miz! don't worry! you'll get yourself in a MizTizzy and it's going to work out ok whether you get scared and upset or not! Moving a bed out that has been there since before the cat is a big deal to the cat and she probably took off to hang out under another bed that's been there for a long time. Breathe! Hug the Bear!

lovbob
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Wow, bobbie. I had not thought of that. Poor lil Sassy. And don't you talk about yourself like that. You may not always "have anyone". I probably won't live that long either. Hubby would probably take care of me ifn I did but he would have to buy one of those suits they wear around toxic waste. MizTizzy, I kinda like that. It doesn't take much. :) Love you!!

Maxine, thank you for the kind words about the thank yous. I would think people would understand that it may take some time. I am finding that I can do maybe one thing a day to do with Mom's passing and that's about it. I'm trying to be kind to myself about it.

Hubby and I have to be out of this house in about 5 and 1/2 months. We are mildly to moderately stressed because homes to buy and homes to rent are so damned high. I'm sure something will work out though. The good Lord always comes through somehow.

I'm baking brownies. Hubby mentioned them and why not? It's something I can do for him for everything he does around here and cares for me. I do believe that Mom's passing has brought us closer. He's knows how distraught I have been and has been there for me.

Gonna watch an Illinois basketball game in about an hour. You all will probably hear us yelling. :)

love,
miz
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Linda, does your father take some drugs to sleep? It would be nice if he had a good night of sleep (and you too)
Carat, I think in your case the best thing to do (when you have to do something that Grandfather does not want) is that you do it when he does not look. While he sleeps, you zoom zoom (as Linda Lhardebeck says) and put his things in the washing machine and so on. I wash my mother things at 60°C ( I don't know how many *F, but it is a very high temperature) and sometimes I wash them twice. They need it.
Felic, I was fascinated by the story of the flakes. We always talk about pee and poo; a change of scenery sometimes is welcome. Flakes are a new!
Bobbie, there was a part of your post which hit me home. When you said that our aged relatives are still people with wishes, dreams and thoughts. Sometimes I don't remember. Thank you. Really at the stage where my mother is, the best thing is tell her a lot of lies. I shall try to make my lies more believable and more pleasant to hear.
Miz darling you are doing great. As soon as the weather improves, go to the beach. I remember you love the ocean...
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miz yes we are getting the snowstorm and guess what daugter says that country roads are betterthan the interstate , mmm think we ll go creepin on out to town ,
i wash my dad s clothes then push the 2nd rinse in it also , no smelly pissy .
i think im going to go walmart and buy sleepaid tyenelo and give em to dad , hoping it ll work ? he was on meds that would put a horse down but it didnt put dad down at all ! so i stop givin it to him , i shall call the dr and ask for sleepin pills for pa . he;ll prob say oh give him 2 asprain , damn bastard !
ithink i do need antidepression meds , i still dont have any enegry and feelin down ! it cant be the weather cuz i do love snow and always hope we get snowed in !
im just lazy , tired , and crying for bobbie s coffee waaaaaaaa.
ok daughter is waiting for me to go creeping to town , that ll be fun fun . xoxo
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miz , why dou have to move out in five and half mos ? shouldnt the house goes to u since ure the ones that took good care for ur mom . if my kid took care of me i will make sure she gets the home . i shall put that in writing ,
damn sibling just dont get it do they ?
xo
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Thanx bobbie.......told my son if my mind is gone just put me away so I'm not a burden......if the mind is there please love me enough to take care of me.
I'm still chuckling about the Meals on Wheels joke......funny.
Watching the Chiefs getting an a--whooping......:(
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Good Morning Crew,

cold night so the Cat got under the blankets with me right under my chin and I must have been snoring or something because I woke up with her 2 front feet in my mouth.
Like my morning breath needs any assistance.
At least her toes were warm.
Having been through what I've been through, I didn't get as grossed out as I would have 6 years ago.
the boat makes stuff less gross because it's a boat and boats are magic.

It's very windy here. there's a herd of seagulls floating in the air and they haven't changed location in the last 20 minutes.
the Cat wants to see one tits up in her bowl.

Linda! I just made some a$$ kicking coffee and am sitting here pretending you're here and we're laughing at the Cat.
the Cat is giving us the Stink-Eye.

Miz! and Nance! we have a choice when our minds go to the painful and we see our moms die again and again.
We have to work to change that pattern and replace it with another visual and thought. it's not easy but it will keep you from reliving that moment over and over each and every day and put it more into perspective.
Time can soften the pain but only if you let it.
I'm sorry we didn't get you a Bear, Nance! Rip came up with the bear idea for Miz when she was in the hospital with her mom just a few weeks ago. the bear is a good hugger!
Tennessee and lil Tenny came up with a beautiful angel that was delivered to me at my mom's funeral.
After my mom died I slept in her bed and hugged her pillow and that pillow is here on the boat.
Nance, do you have a stuffed animal that you can designate as your hugger? Just keep that little animal close and reach for it every time you start to get down too deep in grief. that will be all of us hugging you back! you do know that you have an open invite to the Barbara B?

Ted! I hear you and I think that's a great idea. I know that we all are so proud of you getting your business handled and whenever you want to come I will be here for you.

Jam, sorry about the Chiefs. Men and their balls.....games

to the caregiver that posted about the flakey skin! Welcome to the world of being Grossed Out! I hope you post here often and keep venting because in the long run it really helps you and your mom!
Get some Gold Bond cream in the tube and after you give your mom a bath with a nice moisturizing bath gel, gently rub in the cream to the worst spots. You have to be patient and not rub too hard because it will hurt her. Just keep that up and the dry skin issue will go away.
We have to put lotion on them because if not they can get broken skin and really get hurt.
Another GREAT set of creams and body washes:
order online
Convatec system of protective ointments. Google ConvaTec and you will see the Aloe Vesta ointments. These are actually way better than Gold Bond because they are not hard to rub in and they have a body wash that also can also be used as a shampoo and it smells great and feels so good when you are putting it on them. they will respond to the good vibe and be happy campers as Linda says.

Crowe! how goes it this am? You have some good friends here and we are happy that you wrote to us yesterday so we know that you are hanging in there.

Jen! how's the foot? did you trash the ukelelelele toons? You could set it on fire. that's always a good seeyalater.

Rossella! you are doing so much and you are a good daughter. this is as tough as it gets and I thank you for the thank you.

Ssk! how goes it? let us know how you're doing.

Anyone know how to get in touch with Angie? I know that some of you guys hang out on FB and may have her contact info. I really want to get her a bear.

Where's RIP? I'm worried about her. woke up in the night and thought about calling her but didn't want to disturb. C'mon Rip, check in!

GP, you are such a sweetheart. Thanks for thinking of me and I always look forward to reading your posts because you remember everybody and take notes! outstanding!

Deef! Flex! Pamela! Secret Sister! KelleyBean! Everybody! check in because we miss you.

more later,

lovbob
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Thanks Bobbie, if it wasn't for you guys and this thread I don't know what kind of mess I would be in. You have all really helped me to break a rut I had blindly fallen into.
i think we should put together a training tape or something so when the doc's start explaining the inevitiable decline, they can hand the family this tape to help them understand what exactly they may be getting into if they decide to keep their loved one at home.

So, I'm hoping that a move to a larger place, (if it's even possible) would help relieve some the isolation and maybe i could even try to find SOME kind of work to do in the house or deep in the night while she sleeps, or maybe even something that would allow to pay for a sitter.
I guess I just to need to make some kind of action to keep improving things but I really don't know what.

BTW, I've found a NY attorney who specializes in Probate Theft and retreival of stolen assets and I'm gonna give her a call today and see if is she more understanding about my current financial situation, She'll probably wind up taking most the funds for fees, but at least I would be standing up for myself, and get it out of my head so I can move on.
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Good Morning Everyone. I had a really good conversation with my Sister-In-Law last night. (My brother's wife) Probably the best we have ever had. We were laughing about the old bed that hubby and I have been sleeping on. The mattress and box springs were from the 1920's. My parents had to have gotten it used probably from Mom's mom's house. The warranty on the mattress says guaranteed for 10 years. LOL. I told her I was probably conceived on that mattress. I told her I am tired and she said that is normal after everything I have been through. I hope I'm not repeating myself here. Sometimes I wonder if dementia is a little catchy. It's probably my meds. Anyway, I felt good after our conversation. Gonna try and hit the thank you notes maybe tomorrow. I figured out I need to send just about 15. SIL said a very short note with the thank you already imprinted on the card would be just fine.

Bobbie, I too hope we can get Angie a bear. You all have no idea how much that meant to me. I think Bobbie probably does because I called her right away after I got him. Both of us crying. He's great company and comforing. :)

love,
miz
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I can't tell for sure but it looks like on Facebook that Angie's father might have passed away.
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Oh Boy.
Prayers and thoughts for Angie.
Angels, angels, angels.

lovbob
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Yes, big time bobbie. Prayers and thoughts. Poor Angie dear.
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Just saw on Facebook that he has not passed. It's just a matter of time now though so they are all by his side.
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Message from Angie on Facebook:

"Thank you Patti and everyone. Dad is comfortable and seeing the angels, so the time is short now."

I told her the angels are with her.
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Hi everyone
Doing ok here. I went for a 20 minute walk this morning and it put me in a better mood. The VNA aid gave mom her shower and everything went smoothly. Easy breezy this morning.
Sorry to hear of Angie's Dad.
Hope all have a good day.
ssk
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Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Although it not easy to sit back and watch as he slowly slips away, I find great peace, knowing that I did everything that I could to be sure that his last journey is as comfortable as can be and that he is at home and mom( his wife of 55 1/2 years) have been here. My sib's float in and out and others too, but I hope that each and everyone of us caregivers remember that the work that we all do caring for our parents, is probably one of the most selfless acts of human race. It is also the toughest one too. lol.... Ok time to go hold his hand and talk to him, even though he is not aware I know that he can still hear. Again thank you everyone for your thoughts .....
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angie , god bless you and ur family .
xoxox
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