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I'm worried about my Mom. She's been refusing to eat anything today which is unlike her. She's so sweet and kind and nice, I hate the thought of losing her someday. guess I'll get some sleep and see what tomorrow brings.
ssk, tomorrow ask her what she's doing. Explain to her that if she doesn't eat it will be very painful so she must eat to avoid the pain. Tell her that not eating will not kill her it will simply make her hurt more than she has ever experienced. my mom did that and that explanation worked for her, maybe it will work for your mom. good luck and keep us posted!
I'm turning in. I have the staysail hanging in the pilothouse doorway to keep the cold draft out and the Cat is losing her mind stuffing herself in and out of the doorway and rolling around in the sail. Goofball Cat. nightynight. lovbob
well, Amber Jane, your timing & tone came at a very poor time. Your words seemed to verbally attack us. Last thing we need is a naive lecture. You need to realize some history - its way too much to try to explain. You might begin with post #1
Boy, you guys sure have been busy today! It's taken me a while to catch up, but well worth it! I made the mistake of taking my laptop to bed with me, it's after 2 am & I'm still up! lol Rip, I'm sorry that I missed you!
Angie, you're in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us updated.
Will post some 'fun' stuff hopefully tomorrow, but wanted to let you guys know that I've done a little research on Marissa's situation & have found what seems to be the national site for the Philippeans. It includes the Philippines Government Offices Directory, complete with names, offices, phone numbers & email addresses. The web-site address is philippeancountry DOT com (I know that y'all know how to enter that info the correct way online.) Bobbie, I know that you'd have a better idea of who to contact on the list & what to ask. Will you please see if you can find the right people to ask on there to help Marissa? I did find out that most people in the Philippeans respect their elderly & they are mostly cared for by the family, (it'a an honor thing) but they do have nursing homes. Some are private & some are government run for people with little money available. There are supposed to be 1-2 available in each province. That might be of help to Marissa instead of the other that she was thinking of. Bobbie, if I can help you, please let me know.
Thanks everybody for caring so much about others! Smiles & hugs all around! Peach
Shame on you! How many times did you gross your mom out as young children? The little hand in the diaper playing in poop, picking noses, licking snot, playing in toilets. You need to remember your mom has been through grosser things than using a tooth brush for a hair brush. How much does a new one cost??? And as far as being a messy eater... Did she give birth to a perfect eater, never making a mess? I have pictures where I had food from head to toe when I was small, a mess my mom was loving enough to overlook. I am thankful for the time I have with my mom and do keep in mind her state of mind. I feed her and change her messy pants, making sure she is clean and dry. I comfort her through her confusion and do everything in my power to make her feel loved and never complain.
Cbsissy, you must be a saint. I am not! I can't say I'm delighted to live among stinky things. Sorry if I am cruel, but my mother "decided" to have me, so she had the DUTY to take care of me and clean me. I have not decided to come in this world, so, sorry, I don't have toward her the same DUTIES she had toward me. If I take care of her, it's my CHOICE, which is different.
Cheryl, I see by your profile that you SAY you're a 'loyal listener', but apparently you are NOT a loyal listener when it comes to reading what another caregiver on this site has written!!! You need to back up & punt by beginning at the start of this thread...over 6400 posts, now & reading all of the way through to where YOU posted!!!
YOU have NO idea of what the author of this thread WAS going through, HAS been through, & IS STILL GOING THROUGH!!! HOW DARE YOU tell her 'Shame on you'!!! She is one of the MOST caring people that YOU could EVER hope to know...YOU should be so fortunate!!!
If YOU had just really read the beginning post YOU would have seen that she was inviting others who have been or are struggling in the caring of their loved one to come here to vent & KNOW that they / WE are NOT alone!!! Because of bobbie321's caring & insight we are a SOLID group of caring individuals who, like YOU, if you'd be honest about it, sometimes struggle with the day to day responsibilities & difficulties of caring for a sick or elderly loved one.
MANY of us are sequestered all alone without the help or care of siblings or other family members to help! MOST of us have been in the trenches of caring for our loved one for YEARS! ALL of us have benefitted by THIS thread...as we affectionately call it 'The Grossed Out Thread', by being able to come on at any time of the day OR night & read what our now ONLINE FAMILY have said as encouragement to each other or be able to unleash our frustrations ON HERE INSTEAD OF to the loved one(s) in our care!!!!! PLUS we're there for support for each other when our time of caregiving comes to an end!!! How many will be there for YOU?!?! I KNOW that these caregivers will be there for me when it's time for my husband to go Home!!! What a profound comfort I've found in this group of fellow caregivers that I now not only consider as friends, but family!!! And I'm NOT alone!!! NONE of us are!!!
The more I think about your unfeeling, uncaring, santimonious chastisement of this WONDERFUL lady, whom YOU have NO knowledge of or NO relationship with...a person who has been there through thick and thin with us...the madder I get!!!
I've read some of your post on your thread & you're no better off than the rest of us caregivers...you're maybe worse, because the regulars on this thread at least realize that we need an outside source to vent to & that we need help from time to time in coping with the awesome task of caregiving...YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!! Like I said earlier... HOW DARE YOU tell her 'Shame on you'!!!
gp gp breath i am new hear dont know what i missed but it aint worth getting your blood presser up it is early in the day and we got things we got ot start doing hang in there we are behind you i cant belive i went to bed and all this is still going on did anyone get any sleep i praise my nurse praticioner she is a dream for me and my mom
Yep, Rossella, I'm still awake! Thank you! She just p'd me off in what she said aiming it at Bobbie & yes, probably all of us! I loved what you wrote to her! You're more kind than I am!
Truecolors, thank you so much for the hug! I needed it! Here's a great BIG one back to you!!! ((((((TRUECOLORS))))) We, here on this thread, get really aggravated at people who respond to the beginning part of the thread without caring enough to see that we're well over 6400 posts, now & to see what's going on with us at this time in life, but just rushing in to give us their 'Holyier than thou' opinions & chastisements! This last one started out, not with a caring attitude, but by saying, 'Shame on you'! None of us need to be or deserve to be talked down to in that way, especially our Captain Bobbie!!! I'm really glad that you have a great nurse practioner for your Mom! It's great that you have her support! : )
Bobbie, I'm not real sure, but I think that I mispelled Philippines in the post about the help for Marissa. I spelled it Philippeans, but it's Philippinecountry dot com Hope this helps!
GP thanks hang in there the np is mine mm see a dr i dont care for much and i cant get her to change mom still has her mind for the most part so we battel a lot but that is ok yep i get a lot of family that think they know better than me and yet when i need something or mom needs something like on the help i posted yesterday they are no where to be found or thier ideas are better but wont work and they get mad well i know how to get madder i p????ed my brother off when he want me to take my no our mom out side in 22 degree weather to the shower house he built this summer to bath her she is 70 she would catch pneonia are worst he saw no harm in a few min to and from house well i ask him to do what mom wanted and spen his money in the house bath that was to much he couldnt well i told him just forget it if he could not do the right thing well yall hav a wonderfull day got to get some stuff done i guess lol and mom wil be up soon ouv yall
It looks like another well deserved Snark Award will be given out today. I wish I had a computer guru to help me figure out how to remove an unwanted program. I'm trying to change security and the old one won't let me uninstall it. So that's what I'll be doing later today. (unless I put it off for another day!)
well said georgiapeach.........I've not been here all that long, but it sure didn't take me long to figure out what everyone of you have been going through and how much help you have given to me with your advice and some of the daily experience you have undergone.....and I didn't go back to the first post to do it. There is a HUGE difference in mommy cleaning our diapers and little faces and cleaning the poop from every crevice of your PARENT......it's not the same thing. If someone thinks it's an everyday joy and an easy thing to do when taking care of a parent, well you're not being truthful and you aren't there yet. I want my MIL to have a happy life and for the most part she does....she is about middle stage of dementia but I now know what to look for when she progresses because of the people here. I want her to have a happy life and when she is having a good day I have one taking care of her.....when she wants to be argumentative and tell me how mean and stupid I am, feed her dog her food, allow her dog to pee all over her house because "he's so cute"......well I don't like her so much and it's not a privilege to take care of her and she is my MOTHER-IN-LAW! I think I need more coffee.......sorry everyone I didn't mean to get bitchy this early in the morning but I'm standing outside (about 8 degrees) with 3 dogs, they are little babies and 1 is blind, and the owls are out looking for breakfast, I'm armed of course..:) and the mil lets her dog out while I ran up to grab the blind one, and she stands at her door so he will go right back in without doing his business. I said to let him stay with me and she starts whining about how long he has been out. No concept of time..just let him continue to pee on every chair and table leg, bed posts, door frames, vertical blinds................furnace man coming today, need the repairman to fix garage door and gee I need to go to Wal-Mart cuz the old woman is out of oatmeal. Thank you ladies and gentlemen for being my sounding board this morning and I sincerely hope everyone of you has a wonderful day with some sunshine in it.
Peach, Thanks for the work you did for Marissa, (I hope They didn't just cut her off) and I hope someone knows how to cantact her. at first I was a little angry that she felt that that was a legitimate solution, though I do understand the Hemlock Society/Kevorkian point of view. But now I'm worried about her and her family. (Just noticed that her thread is NOT canceled)
Okay, now this; Cbsissy, first of all, There is no shame in sharing our true feelings no matter what they are, but to hide them and pretend we are sooo much better than others because we don't have true feelings IS shameful. There is no shame on this thread. We have each done more and cared more for our folks that any amount of shame would have run for the hills long ago knowing it was far outwieghed by the self-respect we hold because we have the (silver) balls to face these things with strength, honesty and humor. Shame is something that you bring upon yourself by allowing others to get away with telling you how you should or should not feel about something and applying that feeling as a mask no matter what the truth is. When you KNOW that you are doing the right thing, Shame simply doesn't exsist.
This morning I turned off Mom's night light in her bathroom and then sat down in the kitchen and cried. I could just not do it. I went back to turn it on and the bulb blew so I replaced it. I wonder if the bulb blowing was her way of telling me she doesn't need it anymore. I don't know. I replaced the bulb anyway.
That's the great thing about this site--you can say whatever--I think?--and it's OK! Even the Marissa thread--omg, poor thing. I sometimes wonder if my husband is right when he says, "Your Mother could live to be 100". I used to think that would be cool, now I am not sure I will make it another 7 years, if that is the case. Should I admit my next thought? Guess I can do it here: "please God, have mercy on us all". Only He knows what I mean by that. It doesn't sound too bad, does it? Just kidding, not really. For those who don't like the G reference: "Oh, great Universe, accidental creator of this wonderful and mighty life situation we find ourselves in, have mercy on us all, even though everything is a big accident." Sorry--I'm just one of those people who has to have a reason for everything to make sense. Well, this is our current situation: Mother is "itching", and nothing has worked, so I must take her to a "woman doctor" today. Monostat, Benedryl, moist wipes, nothing. Anyone, any advice? Please have mercy on her today. Thanks for being here. Hugs all around.
hey the itching problem i promise nothing is gona work went througt that for years with my grandma she would scrach til she would bleed and scrach some more it is the nerve endings all you can do is sooth her or keep her doped up with nerve meds that we dont want to give for other reasons hang in there it will drive you crazy as much as it drives her crazy
Selfishsiblings--it is tough to care for both parents, and my hat is off to you. Especially when your siblings do not help. It unfortunately seems to be the case in my experience. Is there an formal caregiver support groups avaliable where you live? I am not sure of your location which is fine, but I run a informal caregivers support group and many of the attendees find it is very helpful to talk with others who are in the same situation. It is never easy to care for someone who has dementia and has angry outburst. I am sure you have taken him to his physician who is aware, however, there are some medications that can be adjusted to help with this. Good days are always the best. Hang in there!
cbsissy . shame on you ! as rossella says we wasnt ask to be born , and i know for a fact our parents would gag and gag when they change our diapers and gripe about how much we crap . how messy we are . i have 3 kids and i did what my parents did , GAG GAG GAG SOMETIMES I THROW UP ! cleaning up an adult is 5 times worst than a baby , toddlers ! grab a towel and wonder why ur hands smells like crap . ah mom or dad wipe crappy hands on a clean towels , we all on this thread loves our parents and yes we work so hard to keep them clean , venting out is all normal and its good for us all to vent out and gross out . things they do just amazes me and blows my mind . so shame on you for growling at our bobbie . we are so thankful for her to start this thread . if she didnt im sure we all would prob be crazy as our parents , i love my dad very much , i have no regrets in taking care of him , we get tired and burnt out but we feel better after venting on this thread , bobbie has kept us all going and going ! laughter , tears and always lookin fwrd to ck our mail to see if one of us has any gross out stories to tell , or venting out . cbsissy SHAME ON YOU ! for getting us all upset !
Miz! You nailed exactly what your mom was saying when the bulb blew out. what a beautiful and peaceful sign from her. Miz: no guilt and no stress. you did a great job with your mom and you are a loving and supportive daughter. Breathe and play with your cats and hug your bear.
GP thanks for your research on behalf of our Phillipina lady. i will get cracking on that and see what I can come up with. i did post to Carol but no response yet. AND, wow and thanks for your words of support. i like it when I don't have to hand out the Snark Award myself. you make a wonderful sgt at arms and I nominate GP as award host. I have been maligned by my blood relatives, mom's friends and here of course by people who are clueless. it feels so good to be defended with such passion. I thank you again my beautiful darling.
Looks like we have some new folks: True Colors and Christina! Welcome and thanks for the posts. you both will be a great part of our crew and we are thankful for you! you guys like boats?
i think that there may be another newbie that I'm missing. Please forgive me and I guess I will finally have to do what GP and Rossella do and that is take notes and make a List of our ever expanding crew.
Welcome Saint Sissy! A nice big Snark Award for you my dear. You'll mellow out if you let yourself. We will be happy to watch you grow as a caregiver.
Senior Advocate.... I don't think you did your homework yet and because of your 'list of accomplishments' on your profile page I think it is necessary that you read and comprehend what you are reading to keep you from stepping on your own tongue again. Just sayin
Amber Jane: just relax and know that we have been attacked by folks in the past like you attacked us and as you can see, not a wise choice. We stick together like velcro and we would rather have you three inside the tent with us pissing out rather than outside the tent pissing in. no boat for you guys.... yet. it will change when you do.
Read through the thread and understand whassup. After you all get over being smacked down while trying to hurt me/us you and especially the people that you care for (except Senior Advocate who isn't a caregiver) will benefit from the ongoing conversation of these amazing caregivers. Senior Advocate: when you go home at night to a place of peace, you are not a caregiver. When the last time you wiped a butt? Or held your mother while she was crying and terrified? Or fought off a stupid sibling who was trying to take all the money leaving none for the sick parent? Listen and learn. Theory and practice my dear. theory and practice.
Like it or nuts, you three dissenters are in one of the most valuable support groups there is for true caregivers. This site and this thread have prevented sucides, matricides and patricides. We have banded together to support each other through the hardest job that any will ever have.
Comparing taking care of a dementia/elderly patient and a baby/child is just ignorant. So sit back, get a grip and read. We will know when you have completed your homework because your tone will change. Until then? well, that's up to you now isn't it? I truly hope you three have the courage to grow with us.
selfishsibbling . i went to a supportgroup last month , sat there like oh ok whateverr , hurry up im ready to go home . blahblah it went on and on , the speaker acts like we have no clue what to expect , i sat there thinking mm she makes it sound like we do need to put our parent in nursinghome , the support group was at a nursing home . ah ok they want our parent , well theyre not getting my dad . he s been in there for few weeks for rehab and i didnt like what i saw in there . it was almost 7 pm i jump up and said i gott ago bye ! and never went back , this gross out ventin out is my support group ! love you all ...
miz i sorry the bulb blew out and you cried , it could be a asign that ur momma sayin dear im in a better place and its full of lights , rainbows , doesnt need that night light anymore . i dont blame u for replacin the bulb , cuz i just picture myself in ur shoes and i would have done the same thing . i dont think i could go in pa s bdrm for a long time , i know i will bawl like a baby , ohh daddy ! shit i am not lookin fwrd to that day . i love you miz , ure a great person , i know ur mom is so proud of you . we all are too . bobbie ! where are u ! amber jane came back and attacked again . lol shame on amberjane and cbsissy !
pa woke up , i said what do u want for bfast , nothing he says , choc milk and coffee is all i want , i was shocked ! sasuages gravy ? nooo . bacon n eggs ? noo . oatmeal cereal ? noooooo . sunny side up egg and sasuage and blackbery jelly ? ah ok yeah i like sunny side up egg id dip my toast in the yellow yolk , :-) i gave him a big bear hug , saw the corner of his mouth smilin . i love my dad . hope marrisa is ok , i think she just fell into the blackhole completely , hopin that she climbed out of it fast when we all talked to her , hope so , lord give marrisa the peace feeling in name of jesus amen .. xoxo
I'm sitting here with this hokey grin on my face just from knowing that I am finally among folks who understand each others pains and have each others backs. Don't know how to express myself other than to say, again, Thanks everybody.
ted ! ure a pig ! lol talk about bacon and sausages , yummie . bobbie , u did good telling them in a kind way . bless ur heart . hubby s on vacation , he did the dishes for me twice this week . he ll be going back to work jan third , ill miss him then . stay home today honey and do those dishes , :-) ok i need to get off here and clean out my ref and get them ready for cmas dinner left overs . guess i ll do the cookin again . hope my noodles behaves ! ohi have to dust the living room , pictures and shelves tv stand is loaded with it . grrr gerogiapeach , sorry to miss u last night on fb . think i fell sleep about 11 and woke up at 3 and back to bed at 5 and slept till 8 . mm a nap sounds good now . ah i gotta get off here ! all you fault for makin me wanna sit here and wait for the next commets lol . love you all and have a wonderful day xoxoxo
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ssk, tomorrow ask her what she's doing.
Explain to her that if she doesn't eat it will be very painful so she must eat to avoid the pain. Tell her that not eating will not kill her it will simply make her hurt more than she has ever experienced.
my mom did that and that explanation worked for her, maybe it will work for your mom.
good luck and keep us posted!
I'm turning in.
I have the staysail hanging in the pilothouse doorway to keep the cold draft out and the Cat is losing her mind stuffing herself in and out of the doorway and rolling around in the sail.
Goofball Cat.
nightynight.
lovbob
Your words seemed to verbally attack us. Last thing we need is a naive lecture.
You need to realize some history - its way too much to try to explain.
You might begin with post #1
Angie, you're in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us updated.
Will post some 'fun' stuff hopefully tomorrow, but wanted to let you guys know that I've done a little research on Marissa's situation & have found what seems to be the national site for the Philippeans. It includes the Philippines Government Offices Directory, complete with names, offices, phone numbers & email addresses. The web-site address is philippeancountry DOT com (I know that y'all know how to enter that info the correct way online.) Bobbie, I know that you'd have a better idea of who to contact on the list & what to ask. Will you please see if you can find the right people to ask on there to help Marissa? I did find out that most people in the Philippeans respect their elderly & they are mostly cared for by the family, (it'a an honor thing) but they do have nursing homes. Some are private & some are government run for people with little money available. There are supposed to be 1-2 available in each province. That might be of help to Marissa instead of the other that she was thinking of. Bobbie, if I can help you, please let me know.
Thanks everybody for caring so much about others!
Smiles & hugs all around!
Peach
Cbsissy, you must be a saint. I am not! I can't say I'm delighted to live among stinky things. Sorry if I am cruel, but my mother "decided" to have me, so she had the DUTY to take care of me and clean me. I have not decided to come in this world, so, sorry, I don't have toward her the same DUTIES she had toward me. If I take care of her, it's my CHOICE, which is different.
YOU have NO idea of what the author of this thread WAS going through, HAS been through, & IS STILL GOING THROUGH!!! HOW DARE YOU tell her 'Shame on you'!!! She is one of the MOST caring people that YOU could EVER hope to know...YOU should be so fortunate!!!
If YOU had just really read the beginning post YOU would have seen that she was inviting others who have been or are struggling in the caring of their loved one to come here to vent & KNOW that they / WE are NOT alone!!! Because of bobbie321's caring & insight we are a SOLID group of caring individuals who, like YOU, if you'd be honest about it, sometimes struggle with the day to day responsibilities & difficulties of caring for a sick or elderly loved one.
MANY of us are sequestered all alone without the help or care of siblings or other family members to help! MOST of us have been in the trenches of caring for our loved one for YEARS! ALL of us have benefitted by THIS thread...as we affectionately call it 'The Grossed Out Thread', by being able to come on at any time of the day OR night & read what our now ONLINE FAMILY have said as encouragement to each other or be able to unleash our frustrations ON HERE INSTEAD OF to the loved one(s) in our care!!!!! PLUS we're there for support for each other when our time of caregiving comes to an end!!! How many will be there for YOU?!?! I KNOW that these caregivers will be there for me when it's time for my husband to go Home!!! What a profound comfort I've found in this group of fellow caregivers that I now not only consider as friends, but family!!! And I'm NOT alone!!! NONE of us are!!!
The more I think about your unfeeling, uncaring, santimonious chastisement of this WONDERFUL lady, whom YOU have NO knowledge of or NO relationship with...a person who has been there through thick and thin with us...the madder I get!!!
I've read some of your post on your thread & you're no better off than the rest of us caregivers...you're maybe worse, because the regulars on this thread at least realize that we need an outside source to vent to & that we need help from time to time in coping with the awesome task of caregiving...YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!! Like I said earlier...
HOW DARE YOU tell her 'Shame on you'!!!
I believe that you owe bobbie321 an apology!!!
And to quote a favorite of ours...'OBMAJ'!!!!!!!!
Well stated, anyway!
gp
breath
i am new hear
dont know what i missed
but it aint worth getting your blood presser up it is early in the day and we got things we got ot start doing
hang in there we are behind you
i cant belive i went to bed and all this is still going on did anyone get any sleep
i praise my nurse praticioner she is a dream for me and my mom
Truecolors, thank you so much for the hug! I needed it! Here's a great BIG one back to you!!! ((((((TRUECOLORS)))))
We, here on this thread, get really aggravated at people who respond to the beginning part of the thread without caring enough to see that we're well over 6400 posts, now & to see what's going on with us at this time in life, but just rushing in to give us their 'Holyier than thou' opinions & chastisements! This last one started out, not with a caring attitude, but by saying, 'Shame on you'! None of us need to be or deserve to be talked down to in that way, especially our Captain Bobbie!!! I'm really glad that you have a great nurse practioner for your Mom! It's great that you have her support! : )
Bobbie, I'm not real sure, but I think that I mispelled Philippines in the post about the help for Marissa. I spelled it Philippeans, but it's Philippinecountry dot com Hope this helps!
Hope all will have a teriffic day!
thanks hang in there
the np is mine mm see a dr i dont care for much and i cant get her to change
mom still has her mind for the most part so we battel a lot but that is ok
yep i get a lot of family that think they know better than me and yet when i need something or mom needs something like on the help i posted yesterday they are no where to be found or thier ideas are better but wont work and they get mad
well i know how to get madder
i p????ed my brother off when he want me to take my no our mom out side in 22 degree weather to the shower house he built this summer to bath her she is 70 she would catch pneonia are worst he saw no harm in a few min to and from house
well i ask him to do what mom wanted and spen his money in the house bath that was to much he couldnt
well i told him just forget it if he could not do the right thing
well yall hav a wonderfull day
got to get some stuff done i guess lol and mom wil be up soon
ouv yall
I wish I had a computer guru to help me figure out how to remove an unwanted program. I'm trying to change security and the old one won't let me uninstall it. So that's what I'll be doing later today. (unless I put it off for another day!)
Okay, now this; Cbsissy, first of all, There is no shame in sharing our true feelings no matter what they are, but to hide them and pretend we are sooo much better than others because we don't have true feelings IS shameful. There is no shame on this thread. We have each done more and cared more for our folks that any amount of shame would have run for the hills long ago knowing it was far outwieghed by the self-respect we hold because we have the (silver) balls to face these things with strength, honesty and humor. Shame is something that you bring upon yourself by allowing others to get away with telling you how you should or should not feel about something and applying that feeling as a mask no matter what the truth is. When you KNOW that you are doing the right thing, Shame simply doesn't exsist.
"please God, have mercy on us all". Only He knows what I mean by that. It doesn't sound too bad, does it? Just kidding, not really. For those who don't like the G reference: "Oh, great Universe, accidental creator of this wonderful and mighty life situation we find ourselves in, have mercy on us all, even though everything is a big accident." Sorry--I'm just one of those people who has to have a reason for everything to make sense.
Well, this is our current situation: Mother is "itching", and nothing has worked, so I must take her to a "woman doctor" today. Monostat, Benedryl, moist wipes, nothing. Anyone, any advice? Please have mercy on her today. Thanks for being here. Hugs all around.
i promise nothing is gona work
went througt that for years with my grandma
she would scrach til she would bleed and scrach some more
it is the nerve endings
all you can do is sooth her or keep her doped up with nerve meds that we dont want to give for other reasons
hang in there it will drive you crazy as much as it drives her crazy
cleaning up an adult is 5 times worst than a baby , toddlers !
grab a towel and wonder why ur hands smells like crap . ah mom or dad wipe crappy hands on a clean towels ,
we all on this thread loves our parents and yes we work so hard to keep them clean , venting out is all normal and its good for us all to vent out and gross out .
things they do just amazes me and blows my mind .
so shame on you for growling at our bobbie . we are so thankful for her to start this thread . if she didnt im sure we all would prob be crazy as our parents ,
i love my dad very much , i have no regrets in taking care of him , we get tired and burnt out but we feel better after venting on this thread , bobbie has kept us all going and going ! laughter , tears and always lookin fwrd to ck our mail to see if one of us has any gross out stories to tell , or venting out .
cbsissy SHAME ON YOU ! for getting us all upset !
Miz! You nailed exactly what your mom was saying when the bulb blew out. what a beautiful and peaceful sign from her. Miz: no guilt and no stress. you did a great job with your mom and you are a loving and supportive daughter.
Breathe and play with your cats and hug your bear.
GP thanks for your research on behalf of our Phillipina lady. i will get cracking on that and see what I can come up with. i did post to Carol but no response yet.
AND, wow and thanks for your words of support. i like it when I don't have to hand out the Snark Award myself. you make a wonderful sgt at arms and I nominate GP as award host. I have been maligned by my blood relatives, mom's friends and here of course by people who are clueless. it feels so good to be defended with such passion.
I thank you again my beautiful darling.
Looks like we have some new folks:
True Colors and Christina! Welcome and thanks for the posts. you both will be a great part of our crew and we are thankful for you!
you guys like boats?
i think that there may be another newbie that I'm missing. Please forgive me and I guess I will finally have to do what GP and Rossella do and that is take notes and make a List of our ever expanding crew.
Welcome Saint Sissy! A nice big Snark Award for you my dear. You'll mellow out if you let yourself. We will be happy to watch you grow as a caregiver.
Senior Advocate.... I don't think you did your homework yet and because of your 'list of accomplishments' on your profile page I think it is necessary that you read and comprehend what you are reading to keep you from stepping on your own tongue again. Just sayin
Amber Jane: just relax and know that we have been attacked by folks in the past like you attacked us and as you can see, not a wise choice. We stick together like velcro and we would rather have you three inside the tent with us pissing out rather than outside the tent pissing in.
no boat for you guys.... yet. it will change when you do.
Read through the thread and understand whassup. After you all get over being smacked down while trying to hurt me/us you and especially the people that you care for (except Senior Advocate who isn't a caregiver) will benefit from the ongoing conversation of these amazing caregivers.
Senior Advocate: when you go home at night to a place of peace, you are not a caregiver. When the last time you wiped a butt? Or held your mother while she was crying and terrified? Or fought off a stupid sibling who was trying to take all the money leaving none for the sick parent?
Listen and learn. Theory and practice my dear.
theory and practice.
Like it or nuts, you three dissenters are in one of the most valuable support groups there is for true caregivers. This site and this thread have prevented sucides, matricides and patricides. We have banded together to support each other through the hardest job that any will ever have.
Comparing taking care of a dementia/elderly patient and a baby/child is just ignorant.
So sit back, get a grip and read. We will know when you have completed your homework because your tone will change.
Until then? well, that's up to you now isn't it?
I truly hope you three have the courage to grow with us.
more later,
lovbob
this gross out ventin out is my support group ! love you all ...
miz i sorry the bulb blew out and you cried , it could be a asign that ur momma sayin dear im in a better place and its full of lights , rainbows , doesnt need that night light anymore . i dont blame u for replacin the bulb , cuz i just picture myself in ur shoes and i would have done the same thing . i dont think i could go in pa s bdrm for a long time , i know i will bawl like a baby , ohh daddy !
shit i am not lookin fwrd to that day . i love you miz , ure a great person , i know ur mom is so proud of you . we all are too .
bobbie ! where are u ! amber jane came back and attacked again . lol shame on amberjane and cbsissy !
pa woke up , i said what do u want for bfast , nothing he says , choc milk and coffee is all i want , i was shocked ! sasuages gravy ? nooo . bacon n eggs ? noo . oatmeal cereal ? noooooo . sunny side up egg and sasuage and blackbery jelly ? ah ok yeah i like sunny side up egg id dip my toast in the yellow yolk , :-) i gave him a big bear hug , saw the corner of his mouth smilin . i love my dad .
hope marrisa is ok , i think she just fell into the blackhole completely , hopin that she climbed out of it fast when we all talked to her , hope so , lord give marrisa the peace feeling in name of jesus amen .. xoxo
our posts overlapped.
don't be upset because 'they know not what they do'.
har har
give Pa a kiss from us and tell him that if he doesn't have some sausage and gravy, why bobbie's going to show up and eat it ALL!
lovbob
On behalf of all the caregivers who are the major parts of our crew:
You got it baby.
#6400, eh? Premium BOAT TIME!!
can't wait to meet you in the new year and we are going to have a blast a roonie.
lovbob
bobbie , u did good telling them in a kind way . bless ur heart .
hubby s on vacation , he did the dishes for me twice this week . he ll be going back to work jan third , ill miss him then . stay home today honey and do those dishes , :-)
ok i need to get off here and clean out my ref and get them ready for cmas dinner left overs . guess i ll do the cookin again . hope my noodles behaves ! ohi have to dust the living room , pictures and shelves tv stand is loaded with it . grrr
gerogiapeach , sorry to miss u last night on fb . think i fell sleep about 11 and woke up at 3 and back to bed at 5 and slept till 8 . mm a nap sounds good now .
ah i gotta get off here ! all you fault for makin me wanna sit here and wait for the next commets lol . love you all and have a wonderful day xoxoxo