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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Think I'll spruce myself up, spray on a little fabreze, and go to the christmas party at the local pub tonite (after mom's asleep of course) I'm afraid I'm starting to get alittle agraphobic (the one where your afraid to leave the house?), So i consider it a health issue to see people and do stuff.
Ted, I know what you mean about getting a little agoraphobic. When I have some time off I don't know what to do with myself after an hour or two. I think it is from having to be "on guard" all the time, it's hard to relax. What scent of Febreeze will you be wearing? My Mom is doing better today, has been eating and drinking OK. Nurse coming to check her out tomorrow.
ted , make sure u make it back home after the pub . i always worry about my bil going out when he waits till his mom is in bed , he slurps way too much and drives ! i told him whats going to happen to mom if u got arrested ? , he realized after one night he came home at 3 am / mom was in kitchen fryin bacon and the whole house was filled with smoke , that woke him up and realized he cant do that anymore . i told him that one day shes going to walk out of the house looking for him and shes going to be buried in deep snow ! then we would have to wait till spring to find her . i dont think he does that anymore . at least i hope he dont . u be careful going out ted ...
omg yea i want to just go some where i know mom wont go any where but in the house but that is where the truble started and the closes and safest place to go is 20 miles away and is walmart so what's a girl gona do i gues i' ll have to just hang out with you guys maybe moma will let me buy some tequlia better not i might not want to quit hey any body got skype maybe we can share drinks through the camers no better not dont have money to replace them and then i would not see my son in california oh well GLAD I FOUND YOU GUYS lol (lots of love)
Here is an exercise for all those wise folks like Amber Jane:
If you don't have one at home, visit a nursing home & collect a wet, ripe Depends. We know the person did not mean to crap & piss but we also know it happens.
Take the offensive diaper to your vehicle. Close the windows & try to drive in rush hour traffic. Imagine you are on your way home from a devastating doctor's appt. after having a terminal diagnosis. Imagine the person who has soiled that vile diaper is sitting in the waste while you are helplessly in gridlock due to a snowstorm ...
chances are those tell us compassion people have yet to experience anything of that nature. I welcome them to try it out to gain such wisdom. Otherwise, I'm with the captain. Bite Me!!!
Ha! That will sure make my evening fun! Seriously I don't think you have to worry about that. It's very difficult for me to get my mind off of mom no matter where I am if i'm not here with her. Even going to the supermarket is hard becuase I can't focus on what i'm doing worrying if mom has fallen or is lonely or scared or.... well, you guys know what I mean. But it is just plain impossible for me to think that I can be here 24 HRS. I have no help at all from sibs, and can't afford or even find a sitter willing to stay for a couple hours at a time. So, I thank you for caring, it's like having mom back for a little bit, and I promise I will be careful.
This thread was 9 months old yesterday. I bravely came aboard in June. My first time with online discussion. I was nervous sharing ... During these 9 months I have met people of such solid character I can't begin to describe their valor.
I've grown to love them. People who have lost spouses, partners, siblings,parents & countless pets ~ all welcomed & understood, comforted & cared for ~ here on this thread starting with "Grossed Out?"
Bobbie, wht brand toothbrush was it? I'd like to introduce a marketing scheme to the company - pay for the Barbara B repairs & more. Wealth to share with those us who have quit our careers to care for our loved ones. Many of those loved ones who are strangers due to disease.
On this thread I've met people I hope to be involved with forever ... I want to continue this thought but Sir needs me. Urinary Collection Bag is caught up in his jeans ... likely needs a drain too.
where are our lost crew/caregivers? Deef, Flex, what about Pirate? I think of her so often! Kuli and you all know who you are. check in and let us know. Kelleybean and SS?
You guys are the greatest even missing Dr. Phil to catch up with all your post-fell shoevling the drive today did not tell my son or he would have scolded me,
shoveling the drive? are you nuts? I'll scold ya! do you have an electric blanket? how big is your driveway? how many blankets worth? c'mon Maxine! i wish you would come to the boat and I could watch you shovel ice into your ice tea! or Long Island Ice Tea.....whatever you like!
I'm missing Dr Phil. next marina I'll be able to watch again. i'm going to look online to see if I can find him.
austin !! i spank you ! dont u go out shoveling that is a no no ! wound up in er then offf to nursing home ! rehab and rehab and rehab ! no no no . if u need something at the store call a neighbor or son . better off going to bobbies boat and shovel ice in ur tea ! yummie . better stock up on ciggy cuz more snow is coming tmr then ice storm thurs , blecchhh . may go to town tmr and get what i need and zoom back home . realy i need to go shopping but hell i dont wanna do that . dont like dealing with the crowd , alrighty i better get supper going . xoxo
austin , did u get hurt ? i hope ur boo boo doesnt flare up later , let us know if u did get hurt and keep comin back so we wont worry about u , love u too much xoxo
I read your posts (after my dinner and the usual after-dinner couch nap). Hope Austin is okay. Maxine I understand you, we want to do things without asking the help of someone else; sometimes it is not wise. Angie, I remember the last days of my father. It's very tough, I know. His death was rather quick but very difficult. I have chosen to think of these days as little as I can, and in general I have happy memories about him. Mary. the story of the dirty diaper goes straight to the point. I remember when in summer my mother leaves it in the bathroom, on the ground, and then she closes window and door. I thinks she wants to kill us. Ted has raised the question of agoraphobia (which for me is more than that, it is becoming pantophobia) and it is a big risk. I am "afraid" to see my cousins on December 26th, at the annual meeting of the cousins. I don't feel like going there and some moments I think "Why do I have to do something I don't like?" and some other moments I think "I am becoming a hermit".... This is a "thorny" question.
(I have seen on the dictionary how to write "pantophobia"....) I had written pantofoby, at first!!!!
Being a hermit can be OK, Rossella! Sometimes gathering with relatives can cause more pain & distress than missing the event. I can say that from a personal level & professional when I'd work holidays & be hauling off victims of family fights. Some to jail, others to the hospital.
How often I heard "Oh I wish I'd stayed home". Some families are lethal. Hope not yours but don't waste your time if it's a certain pain.
I have developed a fear of talking to people on the phone. I get so nervous and worry I'll say the wrong thing and stuff. Also, I have hearing loss and that sometimes makes it difficult. It's crazy cause I remember in my younger years talking on the phone for hours to people. I have the characteristics that could lead me to be a hermit but I fight it. I think when you are care giving your world becomes so small and you don't have the time for friendships and people don't call cause you can't go out on a whim or even make plans cause hiring care givers costs so much money. I moved my hubby in early on in our relationship (to the dismay of my family) and he woke this house up and brightened it and gave me another person to interact with. I don't know what I would do without him going through what I'm going through. I might not be here except I'd be afraid of going to hell. I doubt it would ever come to that because we never know what inner strength we have until we have to use it.
Wow, did I ever get off on a tangent. Just being honest. K, gonna go fix a little somethin' to eat.
Sorry if I was depressing in my post. I am. It's so weird losing someone that you did so much for and were so close to and all of the sudden your life is so different and you gotta adjust but you can't or don't want to or something. It's so hard to explain. I guess you can't know until it happens to you.
Miz! I am happy with you that you have good people to share the holiday with! very cool!
I have to admit that I haven't thought about it much. holiday is ok, b'day is between Christmas and New Year's so I get a lot out of the way all at once!
Think I will be on my own but that's ok. the Cat and I will celebrate together.
Rip, my cousins are not the problem. The problem is me. I don't like the idea of all these people together, the mess, everyone talking and laughing and telling each other all the beautiful things they have made this year. And if someone asks me how I am, what do I have to answer? I tell them what is my life like? Or, I lie and I say that I am perfectly well and happy and wealthy? I love most of my cousins, but meeting once a year is not a good way to know each other. BTW they all love my brother more than me, (my brother is so nice) so in the back of their head they think he is always right and I am always wrong and I continue to do a lot of crazy things (traditionally I am the "crazy one" of the family) I am quite fed up with these dynamics (role games) where you are supposed to be what the other people think you are, Well I am not crazy anymore, 10 years of "poverty" and 2 years of taking care of my mother and 15 years of very hard work have made me a very different person than I was as a young woman. They continue to see the Rossella that does not exist anymore... This is why I don't feel like going, but it is a mistake
Rossella, I understand. With everything that has happened through my care giving years, I do not feel like I fit in with my family, the vast majority judge me and that is toxic to me. I have my SIL and her two wonderful daughters. Other than that, I am not accepted or my husband is not accepted. I have a best friend who is my "sister". The ones who do not judge and love me as I am, those are my real family. Family like the one I have on here.
Rossellamex! O M G. we are the SAME! In my family, I am the only one who has gone to therapy, am not passive aggressive, have gone to school and continue to go, (not now:(. They think I am nutsy-coocoo, because I have always spoken up about THINGS--to them I am BLUNT and BLURT OUT shocking revelations, that they all wanted to hide! I am a rebel, a survivor; the only one willing to take care of our Mother. We were foster parents for my niece 20 years ago--because no one else cared. There are givers and loyal servers of man, and there are the busy diggers and spinning hamsters. I'll bet those cousins are in AWE of you--as we are. You are way out of their league and they know it. HUGS!!!
I hear you both Miz and Rossella! I tried to have relatives and they are pretty selfish and mean to me. Clueless. the bio mom is the one who threatened me with jail and I got my cousin's email this past week and told him about mom and have recieved no answer. Mom didn't want me to tell anyone for 3 months so I followed her wishes, didn't have his email on this computer and there you go. he sent me one of those pass it along emails and i guess I was just there in his address book. Good Christians all. i guess bio mom has told mom's family some kind of crap and I just don't have the energy to deal with the stupidity. Mom turned out to be right about all of them. She warned me that there was no such thing as getting along with them and that they would always find a way to make me a villain. Right again mama. So I figure: why put up with this sh!!? I'm serious when I say that I would rather hang out with the Cat. Maybe I'll treat myself to a dvd and a turkey leg.
Rossella, if you don't want to be with the cousins. let them fix the dinner and you go to Rome and have that time you were dreaming about! Remember? Miz! I know that your family treats your husband like crap. So don't subject yourselves to it. you did your job and that job is over. There is nothing that says you have to listen to anything or do anything that you don't want to. What they want is immaterial.
checked in on Marissa's thread and she is not liking our suggestions. I feel so bad for her but I understand where she is coming from, I just would be haunted if I had ever done anything like that to my mom. I worked so hard to keep her healthy and happy. I can't make the comparison because she has 19 years in and I only had almost 6. Big difference. Carol checked in and gave some advice, bless her heart, but not what Marissa is looking for either.
What to do what to do. i do know this much for sure. Screw the family that doesn't get it and wants to treat you bad. I personally feel that I have no family but you guys even though there are some perfectly good cousins and aunts and uncles out there. I can't take the hypocrisy of these 'Christians'. ugh.
hey bob my b day is between the two also cool mom and i will be sitting here at hom all alone my kids will be out of town and my siblings are not coming up and we cant go there cause we cant get into there homes we are gona have a box of mac and cheese and eat ice cream and cookies and watch endless tv i am so NOT looking forward to the day and i guess for the first time in my life i have not put up a christmas tree and this is my favorit time of the year and i guess i am gona be home for my birthday with out even a birthday cake i have never had not even a birthday cake and my moma has always done something for me cause i was born so close to christmas she wanted to make sure it was special for me well she can get out unless i take her so unless we fall into a ditch and come up rich we will be right here i so excited NOT I AM just trying to stay together
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Mom is doing better today, has been eating and drinking OK. Nurse coming to check her out tomorrow.
i always worry about my bil going out when he waits till his mom is in bed , he slurps way too much and drives ! i told him whats going to happen to mom if u got arrested ? , he realized after one night he came home at 3 am / mom was in kitchen fryin bacon and the whole house was filled with smoke ,
that woke him up and realized he cant do that anymore .
i told him that one day shes going to walk out of the house looking for him and shes going to be buried in deep snow ! then we would have to wait till spring to find her .
i dont think he does that anymore . at least i hope he dont .
u be careful going out ted ...
better not i might not want to quit
hey any body got skype
maybe we can share drinks through the camers
no better not dont have money to replace them and then i would not see my son in california oh well
GLAD I FOUND YOU GUYS
lol (lots of love)
If you don't have one at home, visit a nursing home & collect a wet, ripe Depends. We know the person did not mean to crap & piss but we also know it happens.
Take the offensive diaper to your vehicle. Close the windows & try to drive in rush hour traffic. Imagine you are on your way home from a devastating doctor's appt. after having a terminal diagnosis.
Imagine the person who has soiled that vile diaper is sitting in the waste while you are helplessly in gridlock due to a snowstorm ...
chances are those tell us compassion people have yet to experience anything of that nature.
I welcome them to try it out to gain such wisdom.
Otherwise, I'm with the captain.
Bite Me!!!
During these 9 months I have met people of such solid character I can't begin to describe their valor.
I've grown to love them.
People who have lost spouses, partners, siblings,parents & countless pets ~ all welcomed & understood, comforted & cared for ~ here on this thread starting with "Grossed Out?"
Bobbie, wht brand toothbrush was it? I'd like to introduce a marketing scheme to the company - pay for the Barbara B repairs & more. Wealth to share with those us who have quit our careers to care for our loved ones.
Many of those loved ones who are strangers due to disease.
On this thread I've met people I hope to be involved with forever ...
I want to continue this thought but Sir needs me. Urinary Collection Bag is caught up in his jeans ... likely needs a drain too.
Want a cup of compassion, Amber Jane?
Love you guys.
where are our lost crew/caregivers? Deef, Flex, what about Pirate? I think of her so often!
Kuli and you all know who you are. check in and let us know.
Kelleybean and SS?
whassup?
back to paperwork.
lovbob
I can't help but worry.
do you have an electric blanket? how big is your driveway?
how many blankets worth?
c'mon Maxine! i wish you would come to the boat and I could watch you shovel ice into your ice tea! or Long Island Ice Tea.....whatever you like!
I'm missing Dr Phil. next marina I'll be able to watch again.
i'm going to look online to see if I can find him.
lovbob
are you going someplace?
if u need something at the store call a neighbor or son .
better off going to bobbies boat and shovel ice in ur tea ! yummie .
better stock up on ciggy cuz more snow is coming tmr then ice storm thurs , blecchhh . may go to town tmr and get what i need and zoom back home . realy i need to go shopping but hell i dont wanna do that . dont like dealing with the crowd ,
alrighty i better get supper going . xoxo
Hope Austin is okay. Maxine I understand you, we want to do things without asking the help of someone else; sometimes it is not wise.
Angie, I remember the last days of my father. It's very tough, I know. His death was rather quick but very difficult. I have chosen to think of these days as little as I can, and in general I have happy memories about him.
Mary. the story of the dirty diaper goes straight to the point. I remember when in summer my mother leaves it in the bathroom, on the ground, and then she closes window and door. I thinks she wants to kill us.
Ted has raised the question of agoraphobia (which for me is more than that, it is becoming pantophobia) and it is a big risk. I am "afraid" to see my cousins on December 26th, at the annual meeting of the cousins. I don't feel like going there and some moments I think "Why do I have to do something I don't like?" and some other moments I think "I am becoming a hermit"....
This is a "thorny" question.
(I have seen on the dictionary how to write "pantophobia"....) I had written pantofoby, at first!!!!
Sometimes gathering with relatives can cause more pain & distress than missing the event. I can say that from a personal level & professional when I'd work holidays & be hauling off victims of family fights. Some to jail, others to the hospital.
How often I heard "Oh I wish I'd stayed home".
Some families are lethal. Hope not yours but don't waste your time if it's a certain pain.
6,500?
Wow Bobbie! On you 9th month anniversary.
Wow, did I ever get off on a tangent. Just being honest. K, gonna go fix a little somethin' to eat.
Love yous.
miz
6500! Grand Boat Prize to .....
RIP!!!
Miz! I am happy with you that you have good people to share the holiday with! very cool!
I have to admit that I haven't thought about it much.
holiday is ok, b'day is between Christmas and New Year's so I get a lot out of the way all at once!
Think I will be on my own but that's ok. the Cat and I will celebrate together.
Where's Maxine?
love you guys.
lovbob
As difficult as this care giving stuff is - when its over - your life will change. Inside & out.
Did with my mom ...
I walk into Dad's room several times a night to check his breathing, ensure his comfort. (no, not on oxygen)
Just me, the way I'm wired. So like Mom.
He has died already several times, & been revived. Must be a reason...
I love the nightlight story. I agree it's a sign.
I love most of my cousins, but meeting once a year is not a good way to know each other. BTW they all love my brother more than me, (my brother is so nice) so in the back of their head they think he is always right and I am always wrong and I continue to do a lot of crazy things (traditionally I am the "crazy one" of the family)
I am quite fed up with these dynamics (role games) where you are supposed to be what the other people think you are, Well I am not crazy anymore, 10 years of "poverty" and 2 years of taking care of my mother and 15 years of very hard work have made me a very different person than I was as a young woman. They continue to see the Rossella that does not exist anymore... This is why I don't feel like going, but it is a mistake
I tried to have relatives and they are pretty selfish and mean to me. Clueless. the bio mom is the one who threatened me with jail and I got my cousin's email this past week and told him about mom and have recieved no answer. Mom didn't want me to tell anyone for 3 months so I followed her wishes, didn't have his email on this computer and there you go. he sent me one of those pass it along emails and i guess I was just there in his address book. Good Christians all. i guess bio mom has told mom's family some kind of crap and I just don't have the energy to deal with the stupidity. Mom turned out to be right about all of them. She warned me that there was no such thing as getting along with them and that they would always find a way to make me a villain. Right again mama.
So I figure: why put up with this sh!!?
I'm serious when I say that I would rather hang out with the Cat.
Maybe I'll treat myself to a dvd and a turkey leg.
Rossella, if you don't want to be with the cousins. let them fix the dinner and you go to Rome and have that time you were dreaming about! Remember?
Miz! I know that your family treats your husband like crap. So don't subject yourselves to it.
you did your job and that job is over. There is nothing that says you have to listen to anything or do anything that you don't want to.
What they want is immaterial.
checked in on Marissa's thread and she is not liking our suggestions. I feel so bad for her but I understand where she is coming from, I just would be haunted if I had ever done anything like that to my mom. I worked so hard to keep her healthy and happy. I can't make the comparison because she has 19 years in and I only had almost 6.
Big difference.
Carol checked in and gave some advice, bless her heart, but not what Marissa is looking for either.
What to do what to do.
i do know this much for sure. Screw the family that doesn't get it and wants to treat you bad. I personally feel that I have no family but you guys even though there are some perfectly good cousins and aunts and uncles out there.
I can't take the hypocrisy of these 'Christians'. ugh.
lovbob
mom and i will be sitting here at hom all alone my kids will be out of town and my siblings are not coming up and we cant go there cause we cant get into there homes
we are gona have a box of mac and cheese and eat ice cream and cookies and watch endless tv i am so NOT looking forward to the day
and i guess for the first time in my life i have not put up a christmas tree and this is my favorit time of the year
and i guess i am gona be home for my birthday with out even a birthday cake i have never had not even a birthday cake and my moma has always done something for me cause i was born so close to christmas she wanted to make sure it was special for me well she can get out unless i take her so unless we fall into a ditch and come up rich we will be right here
i so excited NOT
I AM just trying to stay together