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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Well you're all right, I shouldn't have let it all get to me in the first place but i guess i let my guard down. now, Im off to my support group to try and help someone else.
Meant to add: made some chicken noodle soup for my ailing daughter and taking to her now; also, going to Neurological Institute in Newport Beach for Alzheimer Breakthrough at 12:30 my time today, see if Mother is a candidate for treatment. Check out online those who it may apply to. Have a great day! I'll check in tonight, after acupuncture, chiro for my very bad shoulder. Cheers and Hugs, (Only Hugs for Ted, no cheers)
More about hermitage (not the Leningrad Museum, the other one) I agree that you don't have to force yourself to do something that you don't like, that you don't have to force yourself to meet disagreable people who don't understand anything about your life. I just say (to myself, mostly) that this could be a slippery slope and in the end you could find yourself closed in a box and you wouldn't have the resources to go out anymore. I say to myself, as well, that if this is kind of a battle (between us and the stupid people), if we draw too much into ourselves, it's the stupid ones who win. So I agree with Bobbie. We are entitled to say lies. They tell so many lies! If you want to spend a relaxing night, lie to the stupid people you will meet. They don't accept you are a caregiver? Well, make up a story - and when the subject has been changed, enjoy the rest of the night. And blow a raspberry at their shoulders. Maybe, among all the jerks and dorks, you'll find someone really agreable with whom have a pleasant evening. I don't want to be thrown out from the world, even if "they" think they owe it! On the other hand,Ted, you MUST have some good friends who accept you the way you are. Call them!
The sad part is that these people used to be my good friends. My life has taken such a drastically different path than thiers, a path which is just not what they want to know about or think about and I have become a real downer for them. They want to continue thier happy carefree ways, and not be tainted by my struggles, which I guess i can't really blame them for. They just don't have time for me anymore. Hurts.
Ted - I'm so sorry. I know how that feels. I have a few friends that still check in with me to make sure I'm alive. I get invited to parties or a night out on the town, but I don't go cause I KNOW I'm a downer. I tell them that I'll be back, just not right now. If they are your true firends, they will be around when you feel better about things or are just ready to be with people again. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think ur doin' ok. :))
If your good friends have become jerks, drop them! With no regret. What happens to us is a good way to make a selection...Please, feel that it's you who make a selection, not them! By the way, I don't think they really think you are a downer. Maybe, they are just frightened that one day their life could become less careless than it is now.
Thanks, By the way, does anyone know how I can delete those ugly posts? I know that we have young folks join us and i'd rather they not see my vulgar ranting.
Grossed out is relative. Some people claimed to be grossed out by the discussion of picking your nose. Some even claim it makes them physically ill. The woman i care for sits in her own urine half the day before getting up and creeping to the bathroom and I do all her laundry. I would help her there if she would ever even ask, but she won't and the house is so full of clutter that if it ever caught fire there would be NO way in hell she could ever get out in time. I just baited for rats because they were taking over inside and finally got them under control. Now I'm just waiting for their little corpses to begin stinking the place up and I could never get to them because of all the clutter. Toothbrush? Bahh.. That's nothing. It's less gross than licking a stamp handled by a postal worker. ;)
Ted: don't you even think of deleting your posts! It's truth we are going after, and truth sometimes is not flowers and jewels.
Noirvault! Congratulations! This is really gross! There is kind of a friendly competition between us. The person who finds the grossest thing, wins! (I'm joking of course. Better laugh than cry)
Love the frog thing run off a copy to show my mom. Know I can't lick my elbow but I will try again later. I bet Gene Simmons can. Here's one: A woman also invented the circular saw. She cut up a pie pan when she saw the motion wasting energy of cross cut saw. Thanks Bobbie. just felt wordy last night. And that topic seems to come up a lot. Along with what Ted is going through, people being dismissive of his work like it is akin to saying "I'm a Housewife" and everyone just shutting you down. I have been AGORAPHOBIC in the past, I don't recommend it. it is people who can get you down, remember who you are and literally shake em off. No matter what they say or try to project they are not perfect whether and the more they dog you, you can be sure the more screwed up they are! Don't worry about the old posts just keep moving forward..They are part of your journey and they can't be erased from you live, let em go and go on from here. Listening to Burl Ives and The Fleetwoods here on yoututbe block out the Hawaiian crap...Man I won't be able to do any Polynesian locales when I get out of here!!! Mom will have her last day I think say the 27th. Then next... On to Petula Clark...just something else...
I hope everyone is doing Ok
Linda I am thinking of you and your Dad and hoping you are OK.
Ted.....it was not vulgar ranting....you were expressing how you feel and there is nothing to be ashamed of..... this is not a place for young people to hang out....and if "young" people are here it's because either they themselves are taking care of a loved one or someone else in their family is and they can and will be exposed to how hard this "caregiver" job is. Better they learn the tricks of the trade here from those who have gone before them......makes it easier later. And if you can't rant and rave occasionally I really feel like we would end up using "pillow therapy" on ourselves! I enjoy reading your posts and I think you are doing a super fabulous caregiver job!
By the way, the 90 year old list - I'm not so sure I agree with all but thought I would pass it along anyway. I sometimes question the alternative to growing old as I watch my dad but who am I to question life.
I always try to remember................Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away....... ...
Well, I guess she told me! Left Mom tied to her wheelchair after supper. Thought I would catch up on posts, not realizing how prolific you all have been! By the time I finished and went to get Mom ready for bed, she had crapped her pants and turned on the gas on the stove! Maybe I should have waited to do my reading. Not!!! Sorry I've been missing in action lately. Not much interest in anything. Still not feeling well even after a week on steroids which made me feel invincible for a while. Been feeling down and let down, and after reading all of your posts, realized the main reason was that I had missed all of you and the constant chatter! Mom is squeaky clean and in bed. A candle is burning off the gas and I surrender to you all! Bobbie, You are a lifeline to all of us and it is so wonderful of you to stick with everyone! I definitely want in on one of those "Bite Me" shirts. The first place I would wear it is to the family X-mas dinner at my sister's house. The 2 of 7 sibs that do the least will be there and I would wear it in their honor! Ted, You have been so positive lately and you shouldn't let 1 night out destroy your good mood! "f" them all! We know you are a good person and won't let you go away! All you newbies, listen well to all of these seasoned caregivers. You are already learning the value of their friendship. Keep on venting. It's the only way to get ant kind of relief from this hell we are all in. Rossella, Never feel guilty about what you say or how you treat your mom. The stress makes all of us do and say things we sometimes can't control. I have been ranting at Mom and the cats a lot lately. Can't seem to help myself. Don't know what happened to the easy going happy-go-lucky person I used to be. Jen, Your words are perfect as usual! Keep up the good work! You put what we do into words the rest of us struggle with. Miz, You are so courageous! You have come a long way in such a short time. I too think Mom was telling you she no longer needs the light. Linda, You are so good to your Pa! Keep up the good work. It's nice to have you watching everyone's back! Peach, Very eloquent speech! Hope to talk to you on Facebook soon. Maxine, Please be careful! Rip, words of wisdom as always. All you who think you know what we are going through, make sure you know what you are talking about before you try to chastise anyone on this thread, or be reading for the bashing that comes your way! Bobbie, Pirate is having a bad time of it lately. trying to find a new caregiver for mom, and just lost a cousin this past weekend. Held his hand until ambulance came, then did the hospital thing with her aunt and had to sign the "pull the plug" paperwork. Got to get some work done before hubby gets home. Talk to you all later. Kathy
Ted, I appreciate your concern about what my daughter would think of your ranting.Ranting she understands and has heard plenty of-what she doesn't understand is why are her uncles so mean-why they did her granddad like they did-how a educated man can sit there and plot and plann on taking what another has worked for-the corruption in government and why there is a elem. school by a explosive plant in America.Her dad had cancer from the time she was born,she understands everything you are saying and has experience it also.I was about 40 when I figured out fair-weather friends,she already knows the difference. People abandoned us after Jeff died,the grief counselor says it was painful for them to see us in pain-Horse Manure to that.Then we were abandoned by some of my oldest and I thought closest friends during the lawsuit-now that it is over-people are coming back out of the woodwork now being friendly-which I am polite to them,but things have changed and I can say no very quick and easy now.I guess my concept of friendship is for better or worst-the buddies loved the better but ran like rats off of a sinkin ship when the bad hit.The up side is I have met some people I would have never had the pleasure of meeting-people with substance .Sometimes good can come out of the very worst situations,just takes patience and a willingness to accept the good.Rant on.......
Pirate - we're here with you. Take comfort in the fact that you were there to hold his hand until the ambulance came. I pray I will be able to be with my dad when he goes. As a nurse, I've seen too many people die alone or amongst strangers and I personally wouldn't want to go that way. Wish I could pass along my dad's current caregiver. What a blessing she has been! Who knew I could actually find someone who truly cares about the person she is paid to care for?
Ted - I just had a conversation with someone today saying that so many of my "friends" don't even try to keep in touch because I can't make plans to meet for dinner, etc. I was telling this co-worker that I realized a few months back that those that are there when everything's done and check up on me from time to time with no pressure are the friends I will have for life. If that means none of my previous friends fit that bill, I guess I'll make new ones when my life is once again my own. I thank God for blessing me with the friends I have here. I tell my daughter that it's actually sad that these friends who I've never actually seen in person or spent physical time with care more about me than my own sibs. And as far as your venting? What the f**#? Isn't that what we're all here for anyway? We all just take turns so never, ever, ever apologize or feel bad! I am sorry I've been out of the loop for the past week or so. I threw out my back a week ago Monday and it pretty much pushed me over the edge of that dreaded black hole, but held one with my nails and scratched myself back out so far. The new doc my dad saw put him on meds that have not only made him dazed and confused but also very unsteady, fell at least a dozen times. Meds are stopped as of today thanks to the nurse practitioner (she's wonderful and practical) so hopefully he will clear up and not be weaving like he's had a bottle of vodka by tomorrow. Poor guy! Anyway, I have been trying to keep up with the posts and always, always keep each and everyone of you in my prayers! Hugs to all! Hope you have a peaceful and uneventful evening! Kuli
In regards to young people here.. as Bette Davis said, "Gettin old ain't for sissies" and was she ever 10000% right on that one! We were ALL young at one point and the only alternative to getting old, and there is ONLY one is to die before you get there. If someone invents a new alternative nobody will ever be old again..That's for sure because nobody would be fool enough to try.
How many episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond are there? Watching reruns & reruns & reruns .... Sir is Frank's character for sure. It's in my blood, folks! That's my excuse & I'm sticking to it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I agree that you don't have to force yourself to do something that you don't like, that you don't have to force yourself to meet disagreable people who don't understand anything about your life. I just say (to myself, mostly) that this could be a slippery slope and in the end you could find yourself closed in a box and you wouldn't have the resources to go out anymore. I say to myself, as well, that if this is kind of a battle (between us and the stupid people), if we draw too much into ourselves, it's the stupid ones who win. So I agree with Bobbie. We are entitled to say lies. They tell so many lies! If you want to spend a relaxing night, lie to the stupid people you will meet. They don't accept you are a caregiver? Well, make up a story - and when the subject has been changed, enjoy the rest of the night. And blow a raspberry at their shoulders. Maybe, among all the jerks and dorks, you'll find someone really agreable with whom have a pleasant evening. I don't want to be thrown out from the world, even if "they" think they owe it!
On the other hand,Ted, you MUST have some good friends who accept you the way you are. Call them!
By the way, I don't think they really think you are a downer. Maybe, they are just frightened that one day their life could become less careless than it is now.
The woman i care for sits in her own urine half the day before getting up and creeping to the bathroom and I do all her laundry. I would help her there if she would ever even ask, but she won't and the house is so full of clutter that if it ever caught fire there would be NO way in hell she could ever get out in time.
I just baited for rats because they were taking over inside and finally got them under control. Now I'm just waiting for their little corpses to begin stinking the place up and I could never get to them because of all the clutter.
Toothbrush? Bahh.. That's nothing. It's less gross than licking a stamp handled by a postal worker. ;)
Noirvault! Congratulations! This is really gross! There is kind of a friendly competition between us. The person who finds the grossest thing, wins! (I'm joking of course. Better laugh than cry)
Thanks Bobbie. just felt wordy last night. And that topic seems to come up a lot. Along with what Ted is going through, people being dismissive of his work like it is akin to saying "I'm a Housewife" and everyone just shutting you down.
I have been AGORAPHOBIC in the past, I don't recommend it. it is people who can get you down, remember who you are and literally shake em off. No matter what they say or try to project they are not perfect whether and the more they dog you, you can be sure the more screwed up they are! Don't worry about the old posts just keep moving forward..They are part of your journey and they can't be erased from you live, let em go and go on from here.
Listening to Burl Ives and The Fleetwoods here on yoututbe block out the Hawaiian crap...Man I won't be able to do any Polynesian locales when I get out of here!!!
Mom will have her last day I think say the 27th. Then next...
On to Petula Clark...just something else...
I hope everyone is doing Ok
Linda I am thinking of you and your Dad and hoping you are OK.
****** **** *** ******* ** ***** ******** ******** *******
eh? eh? take THAT!!!!
lovbob
This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important vital organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Friends are the family that we choose.
Sorry I've been missing in action lately. Not much interest in anything. Still not feeling well even after a week on steroids which made me feel invincible for a while. Been feeling down and let down, and after reading all of your posts, realized the main reason was that I had missed all of you and the constant chatter!
Mom is squeaky clean and in bed. A candle is burning off the gas and I surrender to you all!
Bobbie, You are a lifeline to all of us and it is so wonderful of you to stick with everyone! I definitely want in on one of those "Bite Me" shirts. The first place I would wear it is to the family X-mas dinner at my sister's house. The 2 of 7 sibs that do the least will be there and I would wear it in their honor!
Ted, You have been so positive lately and you shouldn't let 1 night out destroy your good mood! "f" them all! We know you are a good person and won't let you go away!
All you newbies, listen well to all of these seasoned caregivers. You are already learning the value of their friendship. Keep on venting. It's the only way to get ant kind of relief from this hell we are all in.
Rossella, Never feel guilty about what you say or how you treat your mom. The stress makes all of us do and say things we sometimes can't control. I have been ranting at Mom and the cats a lot lately. Can't seem to help myself. Don't know what happened to the easy going happy-go-lucky person I used to be.
Jen, Your words are perfect as usual! Keep up the good work! You put what we do into words the rest of us struggle with.
Miz, You are so courageous! You have come a long way in such a short time. I too think Mom was telling you she no longer needs the light.
Linda, You are so good to your Pa! Keep up the good work. It's nice to have you watching everyone's back!
Peach, Very eloquent speech! Hope to talk to you on Facebook soon.
Maxine, Please be careful!
Rip, words of wisdom as always.
All you who think you know what we are going through, make sure you know what you are talking about before you try to chastise anyone on this thread, or be reading for the bashing that comes your way!
Bobbie, Pirate is having a bad time of it lately. trying to find a new caregiver for mom, and just lost a cousin this past weekend. Held his hand until ambulance came, then did the hospital thing with her aunt and had to sign the "pull the plug" paperwork.
Got to get some work done before hubby gets home. Talk to you all later. Kathy
Ted - I just had a conversation with someone today saying that so many of my "friends" don't even try to keep in touch because I can't make plans to meet for dinner, etc. I was telling this co-worker that I realized a few months back that those that are there when everything's done and check up on me from time to time with no pressure are the friends I will have for life. If that means none of my previous friends fit that bill, I guess I'll make new ones when my life is once again my own. I thank God for blessing me with the friends I have here. I tell my daughter that it's actually sad that these friends who I've never actually seen in person or spent physical time with care more about me than my own sibs. And as far as your venting? What the f**#? Isn't that what we're all here for anyway? We all just take turns so never, ever, ever apologize or feel bad!
I am sorry I've been out of the loop for the past week or so. I threw out my back a week ago Monday and it pretty much pushed me over the edge of that dreaded black hole, but held one with my nails and scratched myself back out so far. The new doc my dad saw put him on meds that have not only made him dazed and confused but also very unsteady, fell at least a dozen times. Meds are stopped as of today thanks to the nurse practitioner (she's wonderful and practical) so hopefully he will clear up and not be weaving like he's had a bottle of vodka by tomorrow. Poor guy! Anyway, I have been trying to keep up with the posts and always, always keep each and everyone of you in my prayers! Hugs to all! Hope you have a peaceful and uneventful evening! Kuli
We were ALL young at one point and the only alternative to getting old, and there is ONLY one is to die before you get there.
If someone invents a new alternative nobody will ever be old again..That's for sure because nobody would be fool enough to try.
I somehow made the 6,500th post!
Honors to another brilliant comentator?
How many episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond are there? Watching reruns & reruns & reruns ....
Sir is Frank's character for sure. It's in my blood, folks! That's my excuse & I'm sticking to it.
Write on
Maxine AKA Austin hit the 6,000th post without realizing it!!!
Bingo Lady! Did it again! You have a knack!
Ticker Tape, etc.