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I've been catching up here with a glass of Chardonnay, can hardly scroll with my messed up nerves/shoulder and do the 'next', 'previous' thing, trying to find where the heck everyone is. What I have scanned and concluded from the gist of the discussion is this: What Would Mother Teresa Do? ( especially if she were alive, rest her saintly soul) Do you think she would worry about "friends"? NO, her mission was to help the lonely, sick, and homeless die with dignity. I am not equating anyone here with MT, least of all myself, but I think we need to get our priorities sorted out. There is NOTHING more important than the simplest act of human kindness, for it is done with a pure heart. There is nothing more decent than keeping ones word to care for another's needs, and continue to put your own last. Friends, breathe in deeply, and know that what you are doing is worthy of honor, set apart from the rancor of society. Allow for a renewal of your strength as necessary, a venting of your concerns, and be proud that only "the select" comprehend what you do. Peace, and Cheers. christina
Hi Angels. Just checking in. More emotional today and tonight. Wrote a "Card of Thanks" to put in the local paper where I work. They really did it up nice with a pretty border for free. Angels all around me. I'm tellin' ya. Touching notes and cards in the mail. Hubby took care of me tonight. Held me while I cried, soothed me, made my soup, and watched a movie with me. Shutter Island. Was pretty good. More of a me movie than a hubby movie. But he kinda liked it too. Gonna go have one more smoke and then go to bed. Hope I can sleep in the morning. Been waking up early and then can't sleep. Wonder when I'll get rested up. Maybe on the boat? Friend did my nails again today for free in leu of flowers. :) Helped me with my regrets. Good friend. Poor Pirate. Sad for her. Good night my friends. Love yous.
Austin - congrats on our newest milestone. Bobbie, how proud are you? Just look at what you started, oh my God! Are you an earthly being or an angel who's come to save us all? Christina - well said! We really do try to keep things in perspective but I, only speaking for myself, have to remind myself, many times out loud, of what is truly important. Some would consider me crazy, talking to myself. Me, I'm just glad that I don't usually expect an answer from myself to know I'm not yet schizo. Just got done cleaning urine bags, again spend some of the time talking to myself, wondering what my sibs would do in the same situation. And then reality sets in and I say to myself, get real - there's no way in hell they would be doing this. Never would I have thought I would consider it a chore no different than laundry, dishes, mopping floors, etc. Just glad I can do it for my dad and keep him in his home where he feels the most comfortable and safe. LIke I told Miz, no regrets, knowing you're doing all you can to make their last years, months, days, hours the most comfortable, loving, best you can despite all the other issues at hand. I know I said good night before but this time I really mean it. Have to be at work at 6am again - truly sucks this time of the year in a surgery center. Sweet dreams of better days. Kuli
Christina28 - Amen on the Mother Teresa post. I just wish I had that amount of humility. Every day I try to think that way. My friends tell me that I will have no regrets and I believe that that is true. Where my deadbeat siblings will continue to live with their regret, long past my parents' passing. Or maybe not. Not for me judge.
goodnight miz , sorry to miss you . my big hug to you . am wondering about marrisa , mmm why she didnt come back , or maybe too ashame to say hi i change my mind or whatever , dang ... snow just have started here and its very wet ! im in the line of mix , just hope it be snow , not ice , ice is danegrouse , breaks tree lines power lines and alotta accidents , just snow plz lord . maybe 3 to 5 inches , mmm ill take 5 :-) i need to get pa in bed , he s had a long day and been awake most of the day too , i babysat my 3 grandkids whew , wore me out . xoxo
Love you angels. computer screwy, I have no return so everything will be all in a row. I think the Cat reprogrammed it while I was having a brew up the dock. Kuli, you are so sweet and it's good to see you! Deef!!!! huzzah. I am sorry that Pirate is in a bad way. I really like her and hope that she pulls through this. She has always had such a load to carry and I know that she does a great job. Pirate! think of you often and hope to see you one fine day! Maxine! #6500! Boat Time When you comin'? Rip! love you and tell Sir we all said whassup. Jen, how's the foot and dog healing? Ted! I had a brew and the guy next to me says, so what to you do? and I said: with what? and he said you know, what do you do? and I said right now? I'm talking to you. what's it to ya? and he laughed and I laughed. they were having what they call a 'shag club' meeting and I'm thinking, wait a minute, I've seen those Austin Powers movies and 'shag' means having a poke. so now I'm wondering what the hey but it means dancing. It looked like cougar night. always bring a book. Rossella! you have written some great stuff. love it. Christina28! welcome again to the thread, you are a great supportive voice. Miz: I've been wondering about Angie myself. Georgia peach! you have been so supportive of me, the thread and everybody here and we LOVE the info and humor. How are YOU doing? i know I'm forgetting everyone and I didn't get my list done today. Where's TrueColors? and i'm still going to worry about AmberJane and Senior Advocate and Saint Sissy and hope they're doing ok too. Everybody's got a big pile of crap to tote around, I don't care who ya are. Jam! you're a great help here. did you guys see what she did for Marissa? found phone numbers for her. i haven't checked that thread in a while and I hope that marissa checks in and lets us know whassup. Got to talk to Tennessee today. Pleasure Tenny! love to Tenny, Jr. Crowe! how's it going? love to you and your wife. Linda! love to Pa and I have to tell you again how much I enjoy HOW you write! you have a way with the letters and I always know exactly what you mean. talent. c'mon now who did I miss. there's way over 20 of us now. Still wonder about Secret sister and it was good to see from Kelleybean and I always love hearing from Pamela. she was the first one to respond to the thread. awwwwwwwwww lord. It's late for me and I'm turning in. who did I mis? I don't want to lay awake and worry so sound off will ya? Please don't take it personally, I probably have the early onset. Now that is one long run on sentence. lovbob
SelfishSib!! I didn't forget! I swear!! Glad you posted and you are another welcome voice on the thread. thanks for being here! Man I have to figure out what's wrong with this computer. lovbob
oh no ... did Pip Squeak send the beginning of a post??? Silly cat ... We'll find out.
Bobbie!!? Are you dizzy from you lengthy conversation? One of the things I like about this thread is we can somehow carry on conversation as well a writing posts. Don't know if that makes sense. The cats have finished dinner & are swarming for lap time. Poor sir is being invaded! *He loves it! G'Night
Welcome back Deefer! Miz don't regret anything. Linda tks for your prayers for my friend. Bobbie, it could have been the cat. They do incredible things with the computer. A big kiss to the rest of you.
GeorgiaPeach! you rock! what part of Georgia are you in? do you have Rip's #? Miz's? they have mine so if you do, call them and get mine if you want to. I'm hatching a plan.
looks like the computer cured itself. doesn't that always make you wonder? My mom used to call it 'gremlins' and this is way before the movies. Her brand of gremlins were always useful unless no one would cop to something at the house. who left the milk out? I dunno.. hmmmph. must have been Gremlins..
I think that we need a t-shirt for sure. We can all work on the design and then email it around, individually print it out to a transfer and then iron it on. I even have an iron! I'm totally down for something positive but that still makes a statement about caregivers. One that Ted could wear at the Pub and no one and I mean NO ONE would dare mess with him.
I know you guys have your hands full so I'll work on it and if anyone wants to join in, I love it! We can have more than one!
OMG, The boat has an iron? I am so there!! ;) Really, I iron almost everything I wear. It's kind of an obsession or curse, one of the two. Can't go out wrinkly. Well except for my body that is. Wish I could iron that.
A man in his 90's, for a Special Birthday Gift from his Grandsons, is sent a Stripper to his home to entertain him. After she rings the bell of his home, she informs him that his grandsons sent her as a special birthday gift, to provide her services. The grandfather asks her, " What do you do?" She said ,"I can provide you "Sup-er Sex". “He says, “Look, I'm 98 years old, I'll take the Soup!"
LOL bobbie!! We got a little snow last night. Just enough to cover the roads again. I'm gonna pray we don't have bad weather on the 22nd cause hubby and I are flying to St. Louis to go to an Illinois basketball game. If the plane won't fly we can drive but that would be stressful. Hubby and I have never flown together. I'm a white knuckle flyer. Always been kinda scared on planes but especially since the '90s when my boss died in a small plane crash. He was flying the plane. What a great guy he was. Gone too soon. The plane we're taking will be pretty small but we got the tickets for free and apparently it's a very nice plane. I'll just pop an anxiety pill or two or three. We'll be spending one night there in a hotel. We never had a "wedding night" cause we were both sick the day of our wedding. Came home after and went to bed and went to sleep. So, I guess this will be our honeymoon. Or "take your honey to the moon".
Okay, here's another one:
What do you do when you're walking down the street and your tail falls off? Go into a retail store.
There's a documentary called American Beauty and you can access it on Hulu
very well done and there's an interview with the lady who wrote the Vagina Monologues about her experience in Africa learning from women there about their body images. Wow. what a lesson and the whole doc is worth watching, especially that interview.
so, Miz, I like your skin and haven't seen it! I'm hoping you like my roll! (I have to admit, I'm a little proud of it, lot of work went into it....)
Goooood Morning, People! Around 5 here and first time my Mother woke up to pee. I was getting up with her 2:30, 4:30, 6--and she had an attitude-- several nights a week, but other nights she would sleep peacefully, get up once at 5 and be sweet. I kept thinking there was something she was eating, or drinking, but my underlying feeling was that it is one of the caregivers. I checked the daily records we keep--a yellow pad on which each caregiver and I chart everything major that goes on: when and how many times she gets up, what she eats, bathroom trips, when and if we give her tylenol, if she complains of itching, etc. I went back over the last 2 months with much detail and attention. It confirmed my intuition that one of the cgs may be antagonizing her-- "or something" --during the day. I think I have a good bs detector, but I also like to give the benefit of the doubt, since I can seem to be too quick with my discernment. Anyway, on the days when this particular cg is here for a few hours to give me a break, EVERY night would be disruptive with Mother. I let cg know yesterday about "the pattern" in a way that did not accuse her, but put her on her toes. She has many good qualities and experience, but none of us is perfect. I think it's amazing that Mother was not agitated or whiney, but calm and sweet last night. My husband used to think I might be a little "woo woo", but now he just shakes his head. My corny joke contribution: Did you hear about the peanut walking down the street? He was assaulted. (rim shot) I hope you all have a very nice day. Hugs to All! christina
It's a cold gray, ugly morning here on the "Crystal Coast" I'm sure I'm not the only who wakes up every morning and sits around waiting to hear mom stir, wondering if she made it through the night. But it's after 9, so I think I'll fix her a cuppa joe and see for myself. just another little dread to start my day.
That's a good idea to keep a log of the daily "goings on" I'm building piles of papers and mail and "stuff" all over. It keeps me company, but must go sooner or later. Mom hasn't had a BM for a few days so look out.! Think I'll put on the waders that are in the shed. good jokes this morning, ha ha ha.. need more coffee
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What I have scanned and concluded from the gist of the discussion is this: What Would Mother Teresa Do?
( especially if she were alive, rest her saintly soul)
Do you think she would worry about "friends"? NO, her mission was to help the lonely, sick, and homeless die with dignity. I am not equating anyone here with MT, least of all myself, but I think we need to get our priorities sorted out.
There is NOTHING more important than the simplest act of human kindness, for it is done with a pure heart. There is nothing more decent than keeping ones word to care for another's needs, and continue to put your own last. Friends, breathe in deeply, and know that what you are doing is worthy of honor, set apart from the rancor of society.
Allow for a renewal of your strength as necessary, a venting of your concerns, and be proud that only "the select" comprehend what you do. Peace, and Cheers. christina
Are you a lucky gambler, Maxine? You keep hitting Milestones!
We all know your super sweet!
Maybe thats why?
Just stop overdoing the things that hurt your body!
I wish that milestone would bring a kid to shovel snow so you wouldn't need to do it.
miz
Christina - well said! We really do try to keep things in perspective but I, only speaking for myself, have to remind myself, many times out loud, of what is truly important. Some would consider me crazy, talking to myself. Me, I'm just glad that I don't usually expect an answer from myself to know I'm not yet schizo. Just got done cleaning urine bags, again spend some of the time talking to myself, wondering what my sibs would do in the same situation. And then reality sets in and I say to myself, get real - there's no way in hell they would be doing this. Never would I have thought I would consider it a chore no different than laundry, dishes, mopping floors, etc. Just glad I can do it for my dad and keep him in his home where he feels the most comfortable and safe. LIke I told Miz, no regrets, knowing you're doing all you can to make their last years, months, days, hours the most comfortable, loving, best you can despite all the other issues at hand. I know I said good night before but this time I really mean it. Have to be at work at 6am again - truly sucks this time of the year in a surgery center. Sweet dreams of better days. Kuli
Good nite Miz..
am wondering about marrisa , mmm why she didnt come back , or maybe too ashame to say hi i change my mind or whatever ,
dang ...
snow just have started here and its very wet ! im in the line of mix , just hope it be snow , not ice , ice is danegrouse , breaks tree lines power lines and alotta accidents , just snow plz lord .
maybe 3 to 5 inches , mmm ill take 5 :-)
i need to get pa in bed , he s had a long day and been awake most of the day too , i babysat my 3 grandkids whew , wore me out .
xoxo
Silly cat ... We'll find out.
Bobbie!!? Are you dizzy from you lengthy conversation?
One of the things I like about this thread is we can somehow carry on conversation as well a writing posts.
Don't know if that makes sense. The cats have finished dinner & are swarming for lap time. Poor sir is being invaded! *He loves it!
G'Night
Miz don't regret anything.
Linda tks for your prayers for my friend.
Bobbie, it could have been the cat. They do incredible things with the computer.
A big kiss to the rest of you.
I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first---it wet the bed.
OOooooooo...Linda, thought of you when I found this one 'cause you're so sentimental about wanting now!
Love you guys!
Peach
where a snowball once had been
I began to cry
until I realized
that it was all kind of Zen.
good morning Caregivers.
Coffee Time!
lovbob
Call a tow truck.
GeorgiaPeach! you rock! what part of Georgia are you in?
do you have Rip's #? Miz's? they have mine so if you do, call them and get mine if you want to. I'm hatching a plan.
looks like the computer cured itself. doesn't that always make you wonder?
My mom used to call it 'gremlins' and this is way before the movies. Her brand of gremlins were always useful unless no one would cop to something at the house.
who left the milk out?
I dunno..
hmmmph. must have been Gremlins..
I think that we need a t-shirt for sure. We can all work on the design and then email it around, individually print it out to a transfer and then iron it on. I even have an iron!
I'm totally down for something positive but that still makes a statement about caregivers. One that Ted could wear at the Pub and no one and I mean NO ONE would dare mess with him.
I know you guys have your hands full so I'll work on it and if anyone wants to join in, I love it! We can have more than one!
lovbob
Yo Miz! did'ja hear the joke about the cookie?
ehhh... it's crummy anyhoo...
lovbob
Okay, here's another one:
What do you do when you're walking down the street and your tail falls off? Go into a retail store.
love,
miz
very well done and there's an interview with the lady who wrote the Vagina Monologues about her experience in Africa learning from women there about their body images. Wow. what a lesson and the whole doc is worth watching, especially that interview.
so, Miz, I like your skin and haven't seen it! I'm hoping you like my roll!
(I have to admit, I'm a little proud of it, lot of work went into it....)
more later,
lovbob
"There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five."
"Fifty five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to our calculations, you’re eighty two."
"How’d you get that?" the lawyer asks.
St Peter answers: "We added up your time sheets."
I went back over the last 2 months with much detail and attention. It confirmed my intuition that one of the cgs may be antagonizing her-- "or something" --during the day. I think I have a good bs detector, but I also like to give the benefit of the doubt, since I can seem to be too quick with my discernment. Anyway, on the days when this particular cg is here for a few hours to give me a break, EVERY night would be disruptive with Mother. I let cg know yesterday about "the pattern" in a way that did not accuse her, but put her on her toes. She has many good qualities and experience, but none of us is perfect. I think it's amazing that Mother was not agitated or whiney, but calm and sweet last night.
My husband used to think I might be a little "woo woo", but now he just shakes his head.
My corny joke contribution: Did you hear about the peanut walking down the street?
He was assaulted. (rim shot)
I hope you all have a very nice day. Hugs to All!
christina
I'm building piles of papers and mail and "stuff" all over. It keeps me company, but must go sooner or later.
Mom hasn't had a BM for a few days so look out.! Think I'll put on the waders that are in the shed.
good jokes this morning, ha ha ha.. need more coffee