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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I'm on the opposite coast, and it's gloomy here. too. Just got up with Mother second time, but it's still dark and that's my rule: we get up when it's light outside. Having my second cup of Folgers with Splenda and half and half. Love your pic this morning, Ted. What a cute baboon? He looks like he has a mustache. heehee
Yea, what is it with all the mail and paperwork that seems to grow like mold around here. Every now and then I weed through it all and it's mostly nonsense, but probably loaded with all sorts of "Sensitive Information" so I get paranoid about just throwing out and tell myself I'll burn it all one day and then I end up with boxes of Opened mail and paperwork that grow like mold.
Ya, I was just thinking that the problem is having to decide whether to shred or not to shred before throwing in the trash. Heard you are having some cold weather! Brr I got up at 4 am thinking it was Fri, a friend asked if she could park her car here and I give her a ride to the bus, she's going to FL. Now I have to get up at 4 again tomorrow, unless I forget.
Maybe criminals could do their "community service" by being sent to our homes for the day, instead of picking trash from the side of the highway. We would get free labor. not funny, i know.
"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes sir, It's fresh ground!" My coffee tastes great! Working on my second cup. Mom is at daycare until 3, Already been to the post office to mail Merry's time sheets to the insurance company. Got laundry going and decided to see who's up and running! It's bright and sunny here in central Mass., but only 24. Very cold!!!No snow to speak of yet. Hope we have a little white for x-mas. Got lots to do before Mom comes home. Mainly get the ornaments on the tree! Got to hoof it up 2 flights to get them out of the attic. Ugh! Need to get 3 batches of laundry done and vacuum Mom's apartment and deal with her trash. So tired of the heavy bags of diapers that accumulate in a weeks time. Every day when I dress her, she wants to know whose clothes I am putting on her, and I say yours. I have one of her sweaters on because she never wore it, and wouldn't you know she said "why are you wearing my sweater?" Go figure! Thinking about getting some lumps of coal to put in my sibs stockings! Might be too hard to find. Maybe I'll just cut out some wooden stocking ornaments with a lump of coal inside, and paint one for each of them! They probably wouldn't get the symbolism. As for paperwork lying around! I have it in boxes, baskets, and bags!!!!!Oh my! Mine and Mom's! Been keeping her stuff over here for 3 years now. She was losing too much of it. I have a huge to be shredded pile that will be a New Years resolution. Don't know how much time I waste looking for papers that I need but can't find! And all the junk mail! That is a whole other story! Guess I had better get going! Much to do and so little time to do it. Hope all of you have a smooth running day ahead of you! Bobbie, The term "roll" out. "muffin top" is what I have hanging over my jeans! Got to work on that after the holidays!
I think it's a great idea! But of course it would be way too much trouble to seperate the Harmless and even caring ones from the misdirected. easier for our shallow society to lump them all together as "evil".
Ha! gotta laugh at myself, sorry to be so cynical this early, just having a rotten start to the day.
omg... no criminals won't make good caregivers! Joke? right?
In NJ, they would get drug offenders off the street and put them through 'training' and the easiest thing to qualify them for and get them back out on the street was... wait for it... Caregiving!! so now you have an addict that hasn't been clean but for a minute dealing with the stresses of caregiving and who do you think suffers? Your mom. or Dad. And You.
Ted, your mom is sick and she doesn't enjoy the mess, it's just part of the disease. My mom would take them off in the middle of the night too. As far as the stress of wondering whether she made it through the night, I would always just look in all the time to make sure the covers were going up and down. it was very stressful and I get what you're experiencing. I always tried to answer the question at hand as fast as possible. Less stress in the long run. still a lot of stress as we ALL know.....
I'm worried about my bio mom. I know that she doesn't really care about me, but last year at this time they were experiencing financial stress and I helped out a little with some ducats and restaurant gift cards. I never dreamed that she would lose her mind right when mom was dying and get into a fit and be so mean to me (and she HATED my mom and dad) but there you go. i don't want ther and her husband to suffer and be deprived, but without contact I have no idea what's going on and everytime in the past when i tried to reach out, eventually the same thing would happen. I wasn't an if, it was a when. This is a 30 year pattern. so sad. She would get all crazy and blame me for stuff I never did and spread crap to the 'family'. They love villians and I fit the bill! I wish I could drop her like she drops me, but I guess that's my problem. Just can't be blamed for abusing my mom and threatened with jail by someone who compared her f**king cat dying with the passing of the woman who was my real mom, and then pick up some casual conversation. Make sense? sux.
About mail: I like Wednesdays: my trash cans are at the curb by my mailbox. I transfer from box to recycle bin everything but bills. Tuesday night I try to remember to shred the bills I've paid and put in bin. It is a good feeling to do this: any type of "clean up" refreshes the spirit. I have piles, too, and I have been depressed before in my life, so I know it doesn't get done when 'one is'. Sometimes I look at a pile of papers and say to myself, " look at that pile of papers", then I walk out of the room. Since I am a designer and creative all round, I am always thinking of new ways to get the job done and make it fun. Same thing with the refrigerator. After my weekend caregiver is here--the one who eats me out of house and home--I clean out what's left and make my shopping list. I try to start each week with a clean refrigerator with not too much of anything, but enough so nothing is wasted. When you feel overwhelmed with things, just pick one small area and clean it. It will give you satisfaction and improve your outlook. Force yourself if you need to. The healing process will begin and soon, your house will be cleaner, you will feel better, and that begets more of the same. About poopy depends, I have no experience--yet. I often wonder--knock on wood--if and when my 93 year old Mother will need them. She is so into getting up every 15 minutes to pee during the day, and obsessing over her bowel movements. Just like a 2 year old. It's weird. Hope I didn't annoy anyone with my Martha stuff :))) christina
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you And deliver some things just inside your front door Things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. Then restore the old color that once graced your hair Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted So things now suspended need not be uplifted. I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes, No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny, From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take. And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache. Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid, You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle, And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle. But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me, The matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got, But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere, Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.
Mom and I used to go through the mail together. She seemed to enjoy it. I would separate out what we needed to keep and the rest put in the trash pile that she threw away in her waste basket by the bed. I had it easy cause Mom didn't question what I separated out. I would do this mostly everyday but towards the end it was more like every couple of days. Or I would just do it myself. And, I started to do most of the throwing in the waste basket. I have file storage tubs for Mom and separate ones for me. I let things pile up but then I'd pick a day and file away. I got stuff to shred now though. POA papers for my dad and mom, stuff like that. Not looking forward to that. Makes it too final I guess. I work today and tomorrow and then I am off all next week. Got so much to do though. Christmas shopping, wrapping, thank yous, other stuff. But then we are going to St. Louis and the day after that we will drive up to hubby's parents for Christmas, probably stay a couple nights.
love, miz
P.S. Wish I had a laptop. Will be difficult to get on here at hubby's parents. Computer is by his dad's recliner and that's where he watches TV.
And yes, I agree, today shall be cleaning day! I'll put on music (Mom will just have to deal with it!) and attack the things I've been putting off - The piles o' paper, under the appliances, Mom's collection of month's old New Yorker mags. etc.
bobbie, makes perfect sense. You are a wonderful person to worry about them after how they have treated you. I have relative who no longer speak to me who I worry about. Guess caregivers are caring people.
SS and Ted, Glad I inspired you to get cleaning. Here I sit still trying to work myself up to the tasks at hand! Maybe I'll do the tree while the laundry is going, then "f" the rest for another day and just pop in a movie and knit! Wore myself out just thinking about all that needs doing. No Depends here! Just cases of pull-ups! Mom is incontinent both ways, most of the time. Should own stock in wipee and diaper companies! Hee,Hee!!!
During this time in my life I have given myself permission to get just one thing done a day. No matter how big or small and if I get help with it, that's okay. Like from hubby or the Card of Thanks I am putting in the newspaper on Sunday. Angels there helped me with that.
Okay, Mom's watching cartoons again, which drives me nuts, (she's a member of Mensa fochrissake) so that means no music, but okay no problem. I'll clean anyway. It's a stuggle today but I will fight for a better frame of mind.
So now I feel guilty about b*tching. As difficult as she was when mom was stronger, now she is really no problem and kind of sweet in her way. i know that none of this is intentional on her part, and I did sign up for it, so I send my apologies to the universe and carry on....
Christina, is it possible that the "suspect" caregiver gives your mother some drugs to sedate her during the day, so in the evenings and nights your mother wakes up?
Rossella, You might be right about that! Ted, No apologies necessary! B*tching is what gets me through most days. Dishes are done, 1 batch in dryer, 2nd in washer, 1 to go! Litter boxes are next, then clean the bathroom! Listening to Joshua Kadison-"Painted Desert Serenade" MMM! "Jessie"!
I just took a chance and reached out to my cousin whom I suspect hasn't returned my email because of you know who.. I sent him a link to this thread so he could read the truth as opposed to believing what someone has lied to him about me.
I don't usually do this but wish me luck.. he's a good guy and I always enjoyed going to see my cousins when I was a kid.
Well today I am feeling very very drained, I have managed to decorate a bit. Dad was vomitting last night and of course i was on the phone with the hospice nurse. I wish I was on a beach in the bahamas with no worries lol lol lol.... A girl can dream right.... I feel depression just overtaking me, and i am not sure how to manage to get out of this funk. I never thought i would be spending my days waiting for death. Sorry to be a downer I am just at a loss here. I am just tired, i guess. Last night I have to admit i got a bit angry inside of me. My sis was here for most of the day, and of course dad got worse right after she left. HOnestly lol did he save the vomit for me lol lol... That sounds so awful, i love my dad. I am just trying to find some humor where i can. Good afternoon to my caregiver family here. Love you all
Angie, I know you understand that your emotions are going to feel like a rollercoaster because, You ARE on an emotional roller coaster. Try to just go with it. There is no right or wrong way to feel about this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What a cute baboon? He looks like he has a mustache. heehee
Heard you are having some cold weather! Brr
I got up at 4 am thinking it was Fri, a friend asked if she could park her car here and I give her a ride to the bus, she's going to FL.
Now I have to get up at 4 again tomorrow, unless I forget.
My coffee tastes great! Working on my second cup. Mom is at daycare until 3, Already been to the post office to mail Merry's time sheets to the insurance company. Got laundry going and decided to see who's up and running!
It's bright and sunny here in central Mass., but only 24. Very cold!!!No snow to speak of yet. Hope we have a little white for x-mas.
Got lots to do before Mom comes home. Mainly get the ornaments on the tree! Got to hoof it up 2 flights to get them out of the attic. Ugh! Need to get 3 batches of laundry done and vacuum Mom's apartment and deal with her trash. So tired of the heavy bags of diapers that accumulate in a weeks time.
Every day when I dress her, she wants to know whose clothes I am putting on her, and I say yours. I have one of her sweaters on because she never wore it, and wouldn't you know she said "why are you wearing my sweater?" Go figure!
Thinking about getting some lumps of coal to put in my sibs stockings! Might be too hard to find. Maybe I'll just cut out some wooden stocking ornaments with a lump of coal inside, and paint one for each of them! They probably wouldn't get the symbolism.
As for paperwork lying around! I have it in boxes, baskets, and bags!!!!!Oh my! Mine and Mom's! Been keeping her stuff over here for 3 years now. She was losing too much of it. I have a huge to be shredded pile that will be a New Years resolution. Don't know how much time I waste looking for papers that I need but can't find! And all the junk mail! That is a whole other story!
Guess I had better get going! Much to do and so little time to do it.
Hope all of you have a smooth running day ahead of you!
Bobbie, The term "roll" out. "muffin top" is what I have hanging over my jeans! Got to work on that after the holidays!
Ha! gotta laugh at myself, sorry to be so cynical this early, just having a rotten start to the day.
In NJ, they would get drug offenders off the street and put them through 'training' and the easiest thing to qualify them for and get them back out on the street was... wait for it...
Caregiving!!
so now you have an addict that hasn't been clean but for a minute dealing with the stresses of caregiving and who do you think suffers? Your mom. or Dad. And You.
Ted, your mom is sick and she doesn't enjoy the mess, it's just part of the disease. My mom would take them off in the middle of the night too.
As far as the stress of wondering whether she made it through the night, I would always just look in all the time to make sure the covers were going up and down. it was very stressful and I get what you're experiencing. I always tried to answer the question at hand as fast as possible. Less stress in the long run. still a lot of stress as we ALL know.....
I'm worried about my bio mom. I know that she doesn't really care about me, but last year at this time they were experiencing financial stress and I helped out a little with some ducats and restaurant gift cards.
I never dreamed that she would lose her mind right when mom was dying and get into a fit and be so mean to me (and she HATED my mom and dad) but there you go. i don't want ther and her husband to suffer and be deprived, but without contact I have no idea what's going on and everytime in the past when i tried to reach out, eventually the same thing would happen. I wasn't an if, it was a when. This is a 30 year pattern. so sad.
She would get all crazy and blame me for stuff I never did and spread crap to the 'family'. They love villians and I fit the bill!
I wish I could drop her like she drops me, but I guess that's my problem. Just can't be blamed for abusing my mom and threatened with jail by someone who compared her f**king cat dying with the passing of the woman who was my real mom, and then pick up some casual conversation.
Make sense?
sux.
lovbob
When you feel overwhelmed with things, just pick one small area and clean it. It will give you satisfaction and improve your outlook. Force yourself if you need to. The healing process will begin and soon, your house will be cleaner, you will feel better, and that begets more of the same.
About poopy depends, I have no experience--yet. I often wonder--knock on wood--if and when my 93 year old Mother will need them. She is so into getting up every 15 minutes to pee during the day, and obsessing over her bowel movements. Just like a 2 year old. It's weird.
Hope I didn't annoy anyone with my Martha stuff :)))
christina
If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.
love,
miz
P.S. Wish I had a laptop. Will be difficult to get on here at hubby's parents. Computer is by his dad's recliner and that's where he watches TV.
And yes, I agree, today shall be cleaning day! I'll put on music (Mom will just have to deal with it!) and attack the things I've been putting off - The piles o' paper, under the appliances, Mom's collection of month's old New Yorker mags. etc.
No Depends here! Just cases of pull-ups! Mom is incontinent both ways, most of the time. Should own stock in wipee and diaper companies! Hee,Hee!!!
Ted, No apologies necessary! B*tching is what gets me through most days.
Dishes are done, 1 batch in dryer, 2nd in washer, 1 to go! Litter boxes are next, then clean the bathroom! Listening to Joshua Kadison-"Painted Desert Serenade" MMM! "Jessie"!
I just took a chance and reached out to my cousin whom I suspect hasn't returned my email because of you know who.. I sent him a link to this thread so he could read the truth as opposed to believing what someone has lied to him about me.
I don't usually do this but wish me luck.. he's a good guy and I always enjoyed going to see my cousins when I was a kid.
We shall see.
lovbob