Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Georgia, I am so sorry. You are right anyway, dogs kill fast. My dogs have killed rabbits and chickens and i saw it, it is a matter of 2 seconds. So your poor kitty has not suffered. It would have been better if it had not happened, that's for sure.
I'm so sorry you had to go through such trauma Georgia......and I'm glad you could hold your baby as she passed. It's so sad when something like that happens. I was a wreck when our little chihuahua/jack russell was hit by a van.....she made it through but I was scared for her. Big hugs!
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I95. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Georgia, when the dogs form packs they are terrible. One of my friends lived in the outskirst of Rome and he had a big house with some land. He kept some sheep. His dog lived happily and peacefully with the sheep. One night, a pack of stray dogs arrived in his land, and his own dog joined the pack and they killed all the sheep! They are like Hooligans. I have lost a couple of cats for this reason, too. No way to avoid it, unless you keep the cats always at home. Which, according to me, is not the ideal life for a cat. I always run the risk of losing mine for one reason or another. Anyway, it is a matter of opinion.
Georgia that is so terrible my heart goes out to you, and RELOAD ! That would kill me to have that happen to one of my pets! find em turn em in put em down...
Thanks everybody, for your support! I love you guys!
This one's not as good as the 'frog', but cute...It's where I wanna go!
NO Nursing Home for me!
With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00,there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
4. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
5. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
6. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
So: As I reach the Golden age I'm facing it with a grin. I'll just check into the nearest Holiday Inn!
I bet the radar doesn't need to be replaced at a Holiday Inn.
Ted! THAT was GREAT!
Miz!! 6700! Boat time for you and Husband!!
Was that you, GP? I am so sorry about your kitty. sux. I'll holler at a caregiver tomorrow.
turning in, but first:
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn't it?”; “No,”the second man replied, “it's Thursday.”; And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let's have a beer.”
An old guy has been sitting at a bar for hours when three huge, mean-looking bikers walk in. Laughing and carrying on, they sit at a table and order a round. The old guy gets an evil grin on his face and slowly turns to look at the biggest meanest looking biker and says to him-
"I saw your granma naked through her kitchen door today."
The bikers stop thier loud laughing and the bar goes silent. The biggest biker just turns and stares at the old guy.
The old guy slowly gets up off his barstool, walks toward the biggest biker and says to him-
"Your granma looked so good there in her kitchen naked that I went in and had her right there on the floor."
The two other bikers are steaming mad at this point and look at the biggest biker who just keeps staring at the old guy.
The old guy slowly walks right up to the biggest biker's face and yells "And she liked it dammit, SHE LIKED IT!"
By now the other two bikers are on thier feet and the biggest biker gets up also, looks the old man in the eye, and says-
"My Granma's been dead for ten years, and you're drunk. So now go on home grampa and I'll be by in the morning with breakfast. I love you."
I have a vague memory of a story about groups of elderly getting together with one or two paid assistants and living on cruise ships for cheaper than a home. Don't know if its true or not but....BOAT!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes; she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
Good Morning! Maybe you'll heard this one before...but I like it!! Have a good day everyone! - Mom's bday today, she's a spry 83!
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw that it was so beautiful.
Saint Peter came by; the woman said to him "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her. "Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car--both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, crap, am I driving?”
Good Morning Everyone. Kind of a tough morning. Hubby is gonna use Mom's room for his ebay room. That is fine with me, in fact I suggested it. I cried when I put Mom's clothes away (mostly her jammies) that had been washed but did okay otherwise. It was actually my idea and I think it will be good because it will be less of a reminder in some weird way. I hope Mom doesn't mind. If her spirit is somehow in there she will enjoy the company if not the clutter. Also, I'm sick of all of his ebay stuff cluttering up the house. It will go in there and the rest of the house will be neat and tidy I hope. I told him I was not ready for him to clear off the top of Dad's dresser yet. It has Mom's diabetes stuff and other stuff. Too soon for that. Hubby has stepped up to the plate in a big way since Mom passed. I think it has matured him some. He's more patient and and even more loving.
We had our Secret Santa gift exchange at work yesterday. Mine gave me a set of Vanilla Sugar fragrance bubble bath, lotion and such. Very nice. Also, our boss gave us each a scented candle. Mine is Caribbean Escape. I guess she knows me pretty well. :)
Still tired. Really cold here too. Today is my last day of work until after Christmas. It's a good thing cause we got lots to do.
Welcome. I still have my grandmas Diabetes stuff too...and her lipstick and a handkerchief that smells like her I keep it in a zip lock so it stays that way...
Spell check, i just go as far as I can and it lights up and I clicked the correct spelling...usually works unless it gets confused and thinks you meant something else ...handkerchief...hand basket?, neckerchief?, I have got some really weird ones on spell check...
I could use some positive thoughts for what I am trying to accomplish today. I thank you in advance and please please let this work.
no word from the cousin yet, but that's ok. I just thought I'd verify what family I might have left. admittedly I am not easy to put in a box and that makes some folks uncomfortable. Like I said to a good friend earlier today: I am who I am. It's too hard to change for other people so I gave it up.
Positive thoughts and prayers for you, bobbie, all day. And, who you are is a wonderful loving, sympathetic, kind and caring person with an awesome sense of humor. A true angel.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Liked the one about Mary Gandhi Poppins
This one's not as good as the 'frog', but cute...It's where I wanna go!
NO Nursing Home for me!
With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00,there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
4. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
5. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
6. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
So: As I reach the Golden age I'm facing it with a grin. I'll just check into the nearest Holiday Inn!
Love & bunches of hugs!
Peach
I bet the radar doesn't need to be replaced at a Holiday Inn.
Ted! THAT was GREAT!
Miz!! 6700! Boat time for you and Husband!!
Was that you, GP? I am so sorry about your kitty. sux.
I'll holler at a caregiver tomorrow.
turning in, but first:
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn't it?”;
“No,”the second man replied, “it's Thursday.”;
And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let's have a beer.”
lovbob
"I saw your granma naked through her kitchen door today."
The bikers stop thier loud laughing and the bar goes silent. The biggest biker just turns and stares at the old guy.
The old guy slowly gets up off his barstool, walks toward the biggest biker and says to him-
"Your granma looked so good there in her kitchen naked that I went in and had her right there on the floor."
The two other bikers are steaming mad at this point and look at the biggest biker who just keeps staring at the old guy.
The old guy slowly walks right up to the biggest biker's face and yells "And she liked it dammit, SHE LIKED IT!"
By now the other two bikers are on thier feet and the biggest biker gets up also, looks the old man in the eye, and says-
"My Granma's been dead for ten years, and you're drunk. So now go on home grampa and I'll be by in the morning with breakfast. I love you."
I have a vague memory of a story about groups of elderly getting together with one or two paid assistants and living on cruise ships for cheaper than a home. Don't know if its true or not but....BOAT!
xoxo
-SS
Good Morning Caregivers:
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes; she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
lovbob
A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say “Supersex.”
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, “Supersex.”
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I'll take the soup.”
lovbob
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw that it was so beautiful.
Saint Peter came by; the woman said to him "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word", the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car--both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, crap, am I driving?”
lovbob
We had our Secret Santa gift exchange at work yesterday. Mine gave me a set of Vanilla Sugar fragrance bubble bath, lotion and such. Very nice. Also, our boss gave us each a scented candle. Mine is Caribbean Escape. I guess she knows me pretty well. :)
Still tired. Really cold here too. Today is my last day of work until after Christmas. It's a good thing cause we got lots to do.
Have as good a day as you can have, my angels.
love,
miz
J, I'm impressed that you knew how to spell handkerchief. I sure would not have. :)
I could use some positive thoughts for what I am trying to accomplish today. I thank you in advance and please please let this work.
no word from the cousin yet, but that's ok. I just thought I'd verify what family I might have left. admittedly I am not easy to put in a box and that makes some folks uncomfortable.
Like I said to a good friend earlier today:
I am who I am. It's too hard to change for other people so I gave it up.
love you caregivers.
lovbob
love,
miz