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Thanks Miz!

It's been a running theme in my life where people just don't get me and make me out to be an awful person and I suppose to them I may be because I didn't respond they way they wanted me to, etc.
What is truly important to me is that even though my parents played that game with me too, in the end they knew the truth and both died with me right there telling them to save a place for me and we'll get to hang out like we were never able to do on Earth.
Shoot. Crying again.
suck it up Bob.

lovbob
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Positive thoughts to bobbie dealing with relatives.
I am waiting for my uncle and aunt to visit, which they do once a year. It is kinda uncomfortable. I know they mean well, but will ask the questions that "push my buttons", like, do you have a boyfriend?, where are you working now?, How are your sons doing.?
I don't think many people can understand the caregiving situation unless they are in it too! You all know what I mean.
Just wanted to check in.
ssk
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Hey Bobbie,I guess that is my problem also,member of the same club.People get uncomfortable when you don't fit their mold.My dad told me before he passed of all of his kids that he never thought that I would end up being the one he could count on.There are talkers and then there are doers,and I'm not a very good talker,but I'm a good doer.I HOPE you have more success with your remaining family than I,because we have realized no one gives a damn about us,no family anyhow When I had beauty I was popular when I had money I was popular,but now with neither asset,I'm just mud..
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Bobbie, please keep in mind that if you weren't who you are, WE Here would be a lot worse off. If you don't fit their mold, it's because their mold is wrong for YOU. You sure fit ours and I just want to thank you and whatever lucky (for me) breaks kept you from changing to fit them.
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Good Afternoon, I think that we all here can relate to Bobbie for sure. We are the doers!! I know that I am and always have been the different one....... I have struggled with that all of my life. Although it has been a struggle, and sometimes lonely one, due to no family members to help, i have learned to be comfortable in my own skin. and with who i am.Dad has now gone 48 hrs without fluids and no food in days on end. So !! I think I fit my own mold that all of you share. I read all the funnies on here earlier, thank you for the laughs. Dealing with my family is not going to be easy for sure.... i do not look forward to it for sure.... we are the angels
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When the end comes, family will be there, only to see what they might gain, mine did, they got zip and I haven't seen any of the ass's since. They never came to visit or help so I in turn gave them what they deserved. My family are friends that stuck by me through years of caregiving and they are few--you all were my family. Love ya all and try to have a good Holiday season.
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Well, I guess is a little bit of hopeful news;

I just got off the phone with an attorney in NY who deals specifically with Inheritance theft and probate. I gave her a basic run-down on the situation with my father's estate (for those who don't know, in short -my sister is executrix and is stone-walling me and stealing my equal share of my father's estate)
And the lawyer is going to pull his file and have a sit-down with another attorney to discuss what they think might be going on and what might be done about it, and of course, what they are going to charge me to do it. She asked me to photocopy whatever papers I have and send them to her.

I'm still afraid that this is gonna turn into a huge litigation thing, but I'm hoping that it is just as simple as forcing my sister to do what the will says and that's that.

I'll keep my fingers crossed but at least I feel that i am doing whatever I can to protect myself and not letting anyone take advantage of the fact that my hands are tied with caring for OUR mother while they quietly rip me off of money I was counting on to care for her.
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angi... i am so sorry to hear about ur dad , 48 hrs without food and water , makes me want to bawl my eyes out . hold his hands for me plz . ive watch my mom die slowly and its very painful . my hugs to u angi ...

happy birthday to selfishsibblings mom !! bless her heart , hope she has a good day .

bobbie ,, that red stop light made me grinn . ure a sweet heart and a hellva lady ! always knows what to say to put a smile on us all s faces , love you bobbie ! ur family just dont know what theyre missing ! a damn good angel ! cant wait to see you ....

gerogia ! i am so sorry about ur kitty , damn them dogs ! my girlfriend had a cat she had for years , was sleeping soundly out on a porch , a stray dog came and attacked her , died in a heartbeat . damn sonsofabitches ! i try to keep mine in the house but ohh noo he s man needs to go hunting and cries and begs me even tries to turn the door knob to go out ! sometimes he bites me a lit too hard thats cuz he s piss at me , he hasnt been outside for 3 weeks now , he ll go in the garage iwth me then hes like ok time to go in mommy , too cold for him , im sorry gp ..

miz ,, blew me away when hubby wants ur moms room for ebay stuff . sweet of u to thought of it first . i hope it ll perk u up to see clean clutter free living room , packin ur moms stuff away has got to be the hardest thing to do . yes leave that dresser alone , so u wont feel like somethings missing , ure a sweetheart . xoxo
ted .. hope everything works out and make things right with ur sister . im suprise the lawyer who handles ur dad s will didnt have u come in and sit with sister and have lawyer read the will to u both , when dad s gone , lawyer wants family gathering for the reading of the will , so that way theres no unfair crap going on . all is same and equaly , better that way for 6 of us , minus 1 but his son gets his share so whatever .
ok had lunch with my neighbor we had fun , felt so good to get away for few hrs , then i came home hubby was missing me badly , :-)
ok u guys have a good evening , love ya xoxo
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tenn , yes we are doers . we were tough at young age and wild , always turn out for the better , woo .
hey jsomebody i thought ya spelled it wrong , i always spelled it hankerchief . is that wrong ? lol . i ll drive thru the red light ok :-)
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Stars and ditto to the frontline special forces caregivers. All are special, set apart, SWEETHEARTS, FUNNY, beyond CARING, deep thinkers, enduring, Strong-minded, strong in various ways, forgiving, gathering, resilient...sigh. what's not to like? I don't know. Maybe they're JEALOUS? HUGS ALL AROUND christina
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Thanks, Linda. unfortunately my dad named my sister as executrix and not the lawyer he had for years. When I called my dad's lawyer to ask about all this he told me that my sister had hired her own lawyer and that He, my dad's lawyer, couldn't help me personally because he had written the will.

It's a mess. I just hope it's something simple to solve.
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I gotta wonder if there are more than one spelling..I never say Hand-kerchief...whats a matter with boogie rag that works too....
Friend came over exchange gifts, nice to have a friend I don't envy, three kids, no job, cause husband had one and she wanted to you know raise her own children...but he is an immature jerk, who just uses her like a house keeper basically. Plays video games like a12 year old, thunks nothing of spending money on himself and not the children... Here's the type...They had to declare bankruptcy twice and the second time, he put a vacation on their credit card just before they went becasue he said:"They would go bankrupt anyway so the credit card people would have to pay for the vacation..." Like it was a gift to himself...oh, and she is afraid he is gay....Mnn I think I'd rather have my life truly...

Thinking positive for Bobbie sending it over...hope it works. Molds are for Jello, jump the hurdle and enjoy making people uncomfortable, not being mean just be you and who ever doesn't like it can well..."Bite You!"
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Hi guys. I read all your jokes and I liked them a lot. Thank you.
My day was an ordeal. I went to Rome where I had to do a few things and I planned to go back home very soon. I was stuck in the Christmas traffic and then it started to snow heavily. Which was beautiful to see, but it took me 3 hours and a half to go back to my village (it usually takes 1 hour) and I was with Daniela, one of the two helpers, and my mother who did not stop talking for a minute! (you can imagine, you are in the traffic, under the snow, driving on ice, with a mother talking talking). When we arrived at my village, at 6 in the afternoon, they told us that all the streets of the village were covered with ice, so it was dangerous to go up (I live uphill). So I called a neighbour who has a 4wheels and he took us home, all of us (I left the car downhill). I found very hungry animals and my alley full of snow. I was very tired and collapsed in front of TV after dinner. When I woke up I found a text message from my favorite cousin. She is more or less my age, we have played together when we were kids, we have been very good friends with ons and offs all our life. She is the one who helped me to find this job (she is an actress and she works mostly in the dubbing - I translate and she dubs), who always wants to lend me money when I need it... And so on. And she wrote me this text message and she told me she was stuck in the traffic in Rome, she was listening to Christmas songs in the car and she was thinking that for the first time, this year she does not give a damn about Christmas. That she is pissed of with everybody and she doesn't feel like meeting anybody, but she is glad to meet me because I am one of the people she loves more in the world. So I answered and told her that I had almost decided to skip the cousins meeting, but after her text I had decided to go because I did not want to disappoint one of the people I love more in the world!
So, I am going to participate to that meeting. Nevertheless, as you know, I am absolutely in the shoes of many of you, when you say you are not comfortable with most of your family.
Luckily there is always, in every situation, a star which sparkles in the mud. My star is my cousin! (BTW she is the daughter of my Alzheimer aunt, so she understands too well what I am going through)
My friend's operation has been postponed until Monday and the last tests show that the cancer is bad, but not as bad as it seemed! This is a rather good new.
Miz I understand you so well. I still have and wear shirts that belonged to my father ( I still have a shirt who belonged to my grand-grand father and some blouses/underwear that belonged to my grandmothers and they put on the corset!). Many things that belonged to my father are scattered through the house and we live with them and use them. And photos everywhere of course.
Sooner of later, only when you feel it is the right time, I think you have to use the room that belonged to a loved one for other purposes. But, only when you feel it is okay for you, and the memory of the loved one is no longer tied to her/his objects but it's rather a inner feeling.
One of my helpers is Rumanian and she told me that in Romania they have the habit that they donate all the clothes of a dead loved one to poor people. In doing so, they give their loved one the "clothes to wear" in Heaven. One year after his/her departure they "make him a home" in heaven: they organize a party, everyone brings a "present" fot the dead one, and all the presents at the end of the party are donated to poor people.
I think it is absolutely fascinating... Halfway between generous and pagan!
I talked too much as usual.
Love you
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Rossella, I think that is a wonderful tradition they have in Romania. Really wonderful.
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Rosella, Thanks for reminding me that people CAN be good to have around, I've be feeling very much the opposite lately, (Not you guys of course. but I think you all know what I mean)When you see your cousin, give her a hug for me also.
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I'm on vacation all next week and man do I need it. Work was pretty darn stressful today. I'm very tired. Can't seem to get rested. Don't know how rested I'll be next week cause we got so much to do and so much going on. My sweet friend at work asked me for my phone number to call me over the holidays. She took care of her mom too when she was dying of cancer. She gets it. Just gonna relax tonight. Lots to do tomorrow and an Illinois game to watch. I am thankful tonight. Just thankful and hope God helps us with a place to live. He always comes through. Want to get to the boat too. Love yous, my angels. Bobbie, how is it going? Angie, so sorry for what you're going through. It's so hard, I know.

love,
miz
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Yes Ted you would like her. She is upfront, direct, straightforward... Sometimes she kills you with her words. You always know what she thinks of you. And sometimes it is not very agreable to hear. But she loves you anyway. And she is always there when you need her. Her name is Franca, which in Italian means, guess what? Direct, upfront, straightforward!

Miz, yes,, I agree. It's very poetic and very wise at the same time.
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Where ya all are?
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I'm here..Miz.
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Hi J. :)
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hi miz , hi j , im trying to get the woodstove a going again , died on me cuz i didnt keep up with it . so cold out i think its suppose get down to 8 ? am not sure .
prob after i get the wood stove going good i may just lay on the couch and see if i fall asleep or not .
just took pa to bathroom and now hes snugglin in his warm bed , layin on his side , i sure hope he sleeps good tnite cuz i want to sleep good too .
am tired i am . xoxo
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Sleep well, Linda. You work so hard.
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hey yall glad to se yall been watchin yall trying to clearn my emails all of yall convercations and everything is comin through my email yesterday i had over 400 email with these convercations dont know how to slow them down but any way got moma out while weather was nice and been waiting for contract info for that on lin job got it today
now to get the training done monday and tues will be goo hopefully i can get a pay check
havent seen one of them in a year
dont remember what one looks like
maybe i wont mistake it for junk mail and throw it away ha ha ha
any way som of what i scimmed through reading here sounded like it might have got a little rough
anyway got the facebook stuff glad to be on board
rossell is that french
well anyway
hi yall
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Hey Crew,

True! glad to see you!

Linda, Angie, Ted, Miz and Jen and everybody I Just got here.

went up the dock for a brew. Met 2 guys with nice families.
one is a, Believe It Or Not, lab guy at the Mayo Clinic who does reseach on Brains from patients with Dementia related diseases. Whoa. He's giving me a tour of the lab this week.

His point was sooner or later everybody winds up on his table (figuratively.. going to be someone's table) and one day he'll be on his own table, so live for joy. that's what it's about.

Now he and his family are coming to the boat to celebrate one day over Christmas.
He's got a buddy and the buddy's wife makes cakes and they are beautiful. Got to love an iPhone. He showed me pics of so many cakes.

i had 3 beers. big time for me.
I also made it out of there with a plate of sweets because it's Boaters' Night. happens once a year so I moved in on it.

There's a fog moving in on the River and it's diffusing the lights on the far shore. the water is calm and the sounds of the rock and roll band singing, 'Everybody's Working for the Weekend' is coming across the water.

It's Kickin like Southern Fried Chickin

I want you guys with me.

lovbob
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Rossella and GP and Nance and Rip.

thinking about you guys.

thanks everybody for all of the support today. It really means a lot to me. Who knows what will happen, but like the lab dude said, So what? At the end of the day, who give a patootie.

alrightie then.

I was hoping to be able to save those sweets for a few days.
Not going to happen.

Back in a bit.

lovbob
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yes in deed did you even think about geting us other birthday people a beer and cake or a least a diet coke
i made a roast for dinner and found out that i will be cookin christmas dinner after all
the kids wil be home christmas eve all comin by
and the girls ar talking about takin me out on my birthday with moma to the coast to the casino bar and the new years eve bash i hope i got my fingers crossed hop moma is well and up to it
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Good Morning To Y'all...Hope everybody got a good night sleep!

Bobbie, awesome connection with the guy from the Mayo Clinic!!! Divine appointment? Maybe! Just way cool! Keep us posted! Glad that you had a good time with them & got to bring home some goodies! And thanks for the thoughts! Made me smile!

Tell ya what, when it rains, it pours! Got a call this morning that hubby's nephew was admitted to the hospital with cancer & they're saying that IF he gets to go home that it'll be with Hospice! A little while later we got another phone call that a really sweet family friend passed away, again from the big 'C'. And we have another friend who was just diagnosed a week ago with cancer & the doc's have told her that she has a month. Lots going on with everybody!

On a brighter note...I got reminded tonight that I need to tell all of our new family members that sometimes we also 'meet' together on FaceBook & do a group chat. It in NO WAY takes the place of this thread that Bobbie has blessed us with, but it is just an extension of this thread & an additional way for us to stay connected & supportive of each other! The group name is 'Crew of the Barbara B' & if you're interested in participating, please post your information on my wall on here...your FaceBook name, where you're located or something else on your profile that lets me know that I've found you & what your profile photo looks like, to make sure that I have the right person & I'll send you a FB friend invitation & add you to our group chat list so you can join in. Bobbie, we now have 13 of your crew on FB, but we would REALLY LOVE for our Captain to join FaceBook & come party with us! I'll buy the first round of drinks! : )

OK, found this one & since we're all pretty much cat lovers, I thought it was cute...Brother Ted (I don't have a brother...will you be my brother??), this in no way is aimed at you!!! I respect you too much for that!!!

WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN MEN...
**************************************************
A cat always hits the litter box.
Better chance of training a cat.
You never have to spend time with your cats mother.
If you ask enough times, a cat may actually listen to you.
You can de-claw a cat...Try to get a guy to trim his toenails.
It's ok if a cat rubs up against your best friend.
If a cat jumps into your lap, a little light petting will satisfy him.
A cat knows you're the key to his happiness...
A man thinks he is.

OK, hope that'll get ya up & going for the day, on a positive note, with a great big cheesy grin!

Love & BIG hugs to you guys!
Peach
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Wow Peach, I'm so sorry about your hubby's nephew and your friends. The big "C" is so terrible. My bestest friend's dad is suffering from it. He keeps fighting though. Makes me feel so fortunate that I had my parents until they were 87 and 92. (Dad then Mom) Still not long enough of course.

Was having strange dreams this morning. Had green spiders on me. Was told they were recluse which is the kind where your skin starts getting eaten away. Ack!! Why would I dream that?

It is very fun chatting on the Barbara B on Facebook. I highly recommend it. Couldn't do it before because I was usually in with Mom during that time of night, so it's bittersweet.

We will be leaving the cats for two nights over Christmas. Will be worried about them. Hubby says they will be fine. Doesn't think we need anyone to check on them. Don't know who we would get anyway. I'm glad they have each other for company. They are siblings and get along. Imagine that. ;) K, gotta go eat some breakfast. I almost forgot. So weird to be out of the usual routine with Mom.

Bobbie, I have the need to thank you again for starting this thread. It's so important to me and so many others. I'm glad you will have someone visiting at Christmas. I wish we could be there with you. Hopefully soon.

K, really hungry now.

love,
miz
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Yes Peach, Brother and Sister it is.
From now on I will stop referring to my "Thieving sister" and just call that other person "The Thief".

I could not live without a cat, I've had Idabelle for a long time now, and she is by all accounts my soulmate, friend and sister. it's a small family we have, me, mom, Idabelle and Honeyboy (golden retriever) but it seems to be all we need. Sure, sometimes Idabelle spends the night out, or honeyboy starts feeling grumpy and spends the day in his room, but we always eat together and play together, I can't take Honeyboy on a walk without Idabelle there with us the whole way, and when mom and me have to go to an appt or something we can hear Honeyboy calling us back as we leave. When mom's not feeling up to par, Idabelle is on her lap for the duration, and when it all starts getting to me she comes right up in my face and sets me straight.
So, as odd as it might seem to some, I do have strong core family here at home. And I do have a strong caring and supportive extended family right here on my desk.

As for those other people out there who claim they share my blood- Who the hell are you? What do you even look like now? How do you spend your day and what sets you off or makes you laugh? You claim you're my brother and my sister but...really? Are you? Because as far as I'm concerned, You Are Strangers.
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I believe that cats have souls.
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