Follow
Share
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Austin, ya there is a support group which meets every other tues. I keep looking at it but haven't gone. It probably would be good to be around people in similar situations, to supplement this group.
(0)
Report

sskape, I think the gym idea and the support group idea are very good. I wish I had done that. I think you will be glad you did.

love,
miz
(0)
Report

Well we had a much better day of Christmas shopping today. Went to our local mall (not ever all that crowded) and to Wal-Mart. Spent more than I wanted to but the shopping is done. Now I get to wrap, wrap and more wrap and get ready for our trip to St. Louis. It's weird for the kitties. They are now home alone when we leave instead of with Mom and a caregiver. This stuff affects everyone I guess. Still waking up early in the morning. Now that I think about it, it's about the time I woke up at the hospital when Mom had passed. Wow. That's so weird.

love,
miz
(1)
Report

No not weird, to be expected I think...When it has been a year the day will sort of loom ahead as well...It is hard losing loved ones near holidays..sadness and stress and joy all rolled into one...and wrapping gifts...maybe that is the weird part!

I hope you are doing Ok there...You are in my thoughts...

Hey Linda, I was off till just now, but thank you for the update, sounds like he is OK if not doing great. Hope you are getting some rest when he does...

We have had four inches of new snow and it is powder so not to hard to move. I can do it with a push broom bootie and all...Getting cold again 12 last night...

Moms last day is the 23rd...she is stressed yes, worried, yes...snapping at me well DUH!

I had the AUDACITY to ask for well.. not money. I have been pricing UNDERWEAR on line and found some on sale and am trying to replace bras that are well spent and tops that are staples with my skirts and get some sort of wrap or muu muu as the last two have fallen to pieces from bleach spills from cleaning his piss bottles out etc... Yes I ASKED to use THE CREDIT CARD!!! How dare I ?! Selfish bastard, I know...Anyhow it came to $126.74 and AS we all get a hundred dollar bill from fart pants and I get my $100.00 every month I am well covered to pay her back ( with interest ) in literally 10 days! Didn't matter...You'd have thought I was stealing from her...She snapped why don't you open one of your Christmas presents early ( the cash one)...? Fine with me...It goes back to you on Christmas anyway..This IS what I have chosen to spend my money on...And the free shipping is On Line Only...No I will not feel guilty about this! If I could Get Out and Get a JOB I would have money...If we were paid for the elder care we give her 24/7 365 for 4 years I would have money...as it is niether I DON"T have m0oney but this and as you are so pissy about me Not wearing underwear....I mean she acted like I was taking blood or something...

Oh get over it, you know she doesn't like you, she has admitted she is old and angry...a sure sign it is going to get worse...like the announcement removes all responsibility for her behavior or something...She is upset about money. Nothing is going to change till grandpa kicks off...And there is No sign of that any time soon...

Hmm Happy Holidays.............? What ever...Next?

I hope all is well for everyone else just now. Bobby, Miz, def, rosella, rip, Ted, Austin, sskape, Lilli, and everyone....
(1)
Report

Thanks, J. I've been feeling ths holiday blues myself lately. And think mom has had another mini-stroke, she's been following me around all day, right behind me no matter where I go, and just looking at me like a lost puppy. Heart-breaking and annoying as h*ll all at once.
And don't get me started on the money thing.....
If i could afford it I would take a job doing anything, hire a sitter, just to get out of the house for a few hours. but the money is so tight I just can't do that. I used to be able to sit mom on the porch and putz around in the garden or do stuff outside. It's gonna be a long winter.
(2)
Report

J, please no guilt. I think you know that but I'm just saying it again. Don't stress over it. Now if I could only take my own advice. :)

love,
miz
(2)
Report

I know...and at what point in this caregiving thing does it say No you are not allowed to have underwear! I mean nuts ville!

It was her choice he come here and had I not been here it would not have been doable....
(0)
Report

It would be my opinion that all caregivers are to be allowed to have underwear. Just sayin'. ;)
(0)
Report

Alright that is one for....
(0)
Report

the rule books.
(0)
Report

Where is everyone?
(0)
Report

hi im here , i had to shut down the compture cuz it was running slow , then took care of pa , am waiting for coffee water to get hot , got the computer going again whew , faster and better . :-)
j somebody , how about take some of ur worst underwear and wrap em up and give em to ur mom for cma s , thinkshe ll wear it ? makes me so mad , she should give u hugs and apprecaited having u there with her and her dad . my daughter is here and i prasie her ! love my baby girl .
j , i love you too :-)
(2)
Report

I'm heating up some soup. I still don't have much of an appetite. I've lost like 7 lbs. since Mom went into the hospital. I eat when I'm hungry.
(0)
Report

me too , i eat when im hungry . hate cooking eeek..
think bobbie s out on adventure , think she said she s moving her boat somewhere ?
wheres gp and deefer and sibbling . everybody ! nothing on tv tnite all repeat and boring . liz ! where is she ?
(0)
Report

I hate to cook too. I'd rather clean up. I'm trying to decide if I want to start wrapping presents tonight or tomorrow morning. Not really in the mood. No Christmas spirit.

I wish others would check in.

love,
miz
(0)
Report

i quit wrapping few yrs ago , find that pain in the butt , i buy a big bag and stuff it all in , this year i found at dollar tree a big santa bag made out of cloth and filll er up , i like it !
(0)
Report

I know what ya mean Miz--Mom passed in July and I'm just starting to gain weight back-thanks to my daughter who has me over a lot.---I lost big time--I'm 103 now-was 130. Christmas is super hard this year, but---
(1)
Report

Nance! That is low! Hope you're a small lady.

I couldn't eat when Mom suffered with chemo. We both choked & gagged with everything. Afterward I swore I'd never look at another can of Ensure.
Don't know what I weighed but one day after I went thru a huge Seattle mall looking for just one pair of jeans that fit. Money was no object.
So what I learned? Super Models do not shop. I'm around 5' 5" with a standard frame, a little long waisted with decent hips - not one pair of jeans fit me! They all fell off!

That whole year was bad for me. November Dad went into his post surgical coma thing for a couple of months - when he recovered & was released from the hospital we both weighed 109.
Way down from his usual 155. I had managed to gain that weight.
But what I really needed to gain was strength. During both of their illnesses my strength for everything was zapped.
Like my appetite. I don't recommend it as a diet plan or we'd all cash in.
I do recall the first time I felt like eating. A unique restaurant in a neighboring town. The owner / chef was so attentive. We were regulars - He knewn things had been tough.

I had a glass of wine as he prepared me a special dish. I believe it was seafood with a tarragon sauce. He sat with us in our booth after he served. He said something like:
"Enjoy your food, my dear thin Mary. The best way is you must seduce it like a lover. Let the flavors tease you. Slowly taste every little spice & seasoning I included in your dish ... slowly, try not to let it get away from your tongue too quickly. savor ... Remember, another bite still awaits on your plate. Don't rush for it ... Please relax & enjoy the time eating what I prepared for you.".

Yes, Rossella. From Italy. (Can you control the men there?)
If my ex didn't know him he might have been offended.
(5)
Report

rip ! i like ur man ! wow sounds so hubba hubba the way he talks to u , makin love to every bits of that food . ohhhhh , did u have 2nds ?
now im eating peanuts ! i am 5'5 also . maybe 120 lbs , maybe less maybe more who knows . last i ck it was 120 .
when i was working , i was down to 105 , felt like a toothpick ,
so glad im not working anymore . xoxo
(0)
Report

He is very successul with his restaurant! Fun to be around always! His American wife, who works with him must be very patient .... their children are often scampering thru the restaurant.
He really should start a diet program - reminding people that food can be savored.

So where are Angie, Bobbie, Peach & some others?


ah! You too!
PeopLe can be so insensitive when you simply can't eat!
My ex told me he thought I had anorexia. Duh ... his daughter ( my former step-girl) had just completed a lenghty project on it.
Told him it was stress!
(1)
Report

Well I'm gonna have to tell hubby that I'm not too thin like he thinks cause I'm about 5' 2" and I weigh about 114.
(1)
Report

Since my husband died underware is all I allow myself to buy-only 4 more years until his debts are paid off.
(0)
Report

OMG, Austin. That's awful!! I feel so bad for you.

love,
miz
(0)
Report

Boys, Girls... What a stories!
Linda I am so sorry for your brother. I understand you can't forgive your sister in law. Maybe she continues to drink because of the sense of guilt!
Jen, hopping among threads in this site you must have seen that many of us have manipulative parents. There is nothing to do; you can't change them. You have to find a way to defend yourself!
Mizzi, I think that everyone of us will feel guilty about the things he could have made differently when his/her parent was alive. I "know" I will regret my lack of patience. But, I am so tired sometimes that patience becomes impossible.
It is not us who should feel guilty - rather our absent relatives. My brother told me a few days ago that my mother's siblings (she has a brother and a sister alive) have organized a Christmas Eve together and they have not invited me and my mother. I think it's awful. My brother wrote an e-mail to my cousin (the daughter of my aunt) reminding her how much my mother, when she was an "agreable" person, always helped and welcomed all the family. And (my brother) told her that if the family relationship does not count anymore, he does not care anymore about that part of the family, either. He was quite tough, but he was perfectly right. I hope they will be a little bit ashamed of themselves. They have not called here for a long time.
I am "glad" that my mother's mind does not work anymore, sometimes, because I know how much she would suffer from a thing like this. She calls her siblings all day long...
So Mizzi, who should feel guilty? You and people like you?

Ted, try, try, try to work, so you will have some money to pay a "babysitter" and will be more free....
(3)
Report

Ah, Rip, the man of the restaurant is a poet!
Yeah, food = sex, here
(0)
Report

AH Rossella .....
Your family situation. SO sad & tragic since they once were agreeable in a fun way.

The man in the restaurant is a poet. Makes many people enjoy his food! Shares his passion!
The sweetest thing is he doesn't seem to realize it!
Most times he is just being a kind, understanding friend.

I've heard his wife makes the money come in. Pulls the strings of the talented puppet.
(0)
Report

Ugh!! I can't sleep. I don't understand it cause I took my meds. I think Sassy woke me up. Seems she has clawed her way through the thin sheet that lines the box springs and I can feel her moving. At first I worried someone was in the house. Of course hubby is sleeping right through it. Lucky!! So, I had a smoke and drank a little diet green tea and now I'm on here. I'm sleepy though. Rossella, thank you for the comments about my guilt. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and catch some Z's. Good Night, Everyone. Love yous!!

miz
(3)
Report

diet greentea well there ya go . its keeping u awake , wink xoxox
(0)
Report

oh Miz ...........
Sleep is so difficult & evasive! When I lost Mom I didn't really sleep for years.
Why?
I don't know ...I'd think I'd drifted off, maybe slept .. & then look at the clock to find it was an eary hour & I hadn't really slept but a few minutes.

I often wonder how medical students survive the schedules I hear about.
I also wonder why this laptop computer fights me to simply write a sentence! I must rewrite so many things b/c I hit a key that freaks the comput ....er ...
(0)
Report

Hey Family! Don't fret! I'm still 'hangin in there'! Just really tired after Sunday...LONG day! Church, lunch, family Christmas get together, Larry's friend's house, funeral home, collaspe! Today has been really low key for both of us.
Please know that I'm thinking about every one of you & have you all in my heart!
All of you...NO guilt!!! You're ALL doing a great job!
Love & Hugs to y'all!!!
Peach : )
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter