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Good Morning Caregivers! Coffee Time! Sorry i was AWOL for a bit. some interesting things happened.
ok, guy that has a boat here comes to my boat and we have coffee. He's a widower and tells me all kind of stuff about different paperwork I'm dealing with (it was on the table and he noticed it). turns out that this used to be his job. alright, I'm listening. The more he talked about my papework, the more upset I got. I told him my background and that I'm 'broken' and can't handle a lot of stress, but boy does he keep going. Scoffs and tells me: you are NOT broken, blah blah blah. and he started out so nice. I could feel those old feelings of being betrayed sneak in and I asked him to stop talking about the stuff. He couldn't so I had to ask him to leave the boat. he was very blustery and I'm yeah, whatever, seeya.
I literally went to bed, hugged the Cat and cried. I cried for my daddy who in my perfect world would fix what was wrong. (only until I was about 9 or 10 but that works)
I fell asleep and then got up to make myself a bowl of salad and chickpeas and salmon and sat down to write to you guys and the phone goes off and it's my cuz from Michigan. We talked for over an hour and I got to talk to his wife and sweet! He has read the thread from the beginning thru June (after mom died [his aunt]) and said that he will check in from time to time. He knows y'alls names and stories and is he a good guy! His wife had to be a caregiver and she had trouble reading the thread because of all the memories. I get it.
Anyhoo, I was right, my bio mom called my aunt, his mom, and told her that my mom had died and then proceeded to trash me like there was no tomorrow. Cuz said she went on and on about how awful and vulgar I am and how I was abusive to my mom, etc etc. She also said that she never wanted to talk to me again and that I had better not try and call her because she's finished with me. I'm thinking, man, what must my cuz think? He's real low key about it and I want to ask the questions, but don't want to be the person who wants to hear the gossip, but hey! it's about me and I need to get this over with. Bottom line? they thinks she's bi polar, and 'over the top religious' (what a nice way to put it!) they have had experiences with her that have nothing to do with me and those experiences were bad so it's not me, folks! WooHoo, off the hook! I told him, and I got to talk to his wife for a bit, very cool, that I was worried about them because I think that she may have a form of dementia considering her behavior and their response: Wouldn't surprise us in the least. I of course am worried about who is going to take care of them even though she is very hateful to me. I do know that it's not going to be me! Like the guy who got himself invited OFF the boat: no more abuse! then the most magical thing happened! cuz said, hey you want to see some pictures of my BOAT? He's got a bee you tee ful FAST fishing boat. When his wife found out that you can lay around on the Barbara B and read or snooze, she was down for a visit. Sitting outside and getting wet is not her idea of a good time. mine either. so hopefully they can come down in the Spring!
I have a relative!!! where there's boats there's proof!! btw, he's the one who taught me how to drive a speedboat. I think I was 9 or so. they liked to ski and I liked to drive.
I want to get a big inner tube (remember those?) off an EarthMover (do they still have inner tubes?) and fix it up and tow it behind the boat. Lay up in that and fish.
I went from the depths to the top yesterday and as we all know, that can wipe you out!
I have not moved the boat yet but am getting ready to do so. I am very excited because we will have a caregiver and her husband on board! Working out the details!
love to you guys and Jen, when I cared for my mom we used the money for necessities. Her money, my money, our money. refuse to tolerate the enslavement. That is what it is. I love ya kid and hope that you can come and hang out on the boat. All of you guys. As Miz says: love yous.
hey all, hear ya miz told mom wouldn't it be neat we coul gotto fl and go hang out on a big boat with some people and have a good time she said yes. i said ok we need to plan to do that. well i know i havent been here in a few day let me catch yall up i been cleanin house the chore i just love to hate the most! talking about the boat the other day on fb i relized i needed to go renew my license so glad i remembered. so i did that yesterday good for another four years wihed i lived in arizona i would not have to do it every four years.i would have 12 years or something crazy. talked to my son in california on skype a little. brought moma to the great granchildrens christmas plays. had to get her out of the house, so glad the weather was good. we even went to church sunday and had the chrismas play there. hadnt been to church in a month. moma shuts down in december starts in november and i had started ot shut down then i met yall. i pick us up dusted us off and started us off again and tonight one of the grandaughters is sending one of the great granddaughters over to grandma sit so this caregiver can sorta go out wahoho and by the way rip yeas they still mak the big anbigger inner tubes i just got rid of one since i dont have a boat the best place to get them is to go on line or to a boat shop wal mart has them but i might not be big enough. anyway, still cleaning it takes so long caus i get destracted or my back get to hurting and then what i have clean needs cleaning again but of course yall know what i mean.so i clean like a mad man for about 10 days and then only do what i have to fo about a month after that. caus then i cant hardly move. silly i know but we gota do what we gota do. i got get to the laundry i been watchy guys and today i will be runnin round i will talk to yall tommorrow here or there . everyone take care and i will see you soon. truecolors aka liz aka true aka elizabeth oxox
Good Morning All, Just wanted to check in.... Dad is still hanging in, i am exhausted. The nurse cant believe it..... no food or fluid... his body has begun the molten process and lays there with his eyes open. I was at his bedside until about 2am.... I think maybe his waiting for that one last christmas morning with his wife, i honestly do. I am not a big religious person, but i know that he is seeing all the angels around him..... This is the worse part i think for me, i am totally exhausted and so is mom..... When i have a chance i wfll read through the thread to catch up with everyone ...... Thank you all for all the hugs concern and prayers, please keep the prayers coming....... HUGS to all .... Angie
It is the AM West Coast here, nasty and cold. My bones hurt it is so cold..That is a very unpleasant feeling, hope store brand Tylenol takes care of it....I am letting the underwear go...I am sure there will be plenty more BS to come...but she won't have work to be po'd about much longer. Two more days and just in time really...for what the fourth week in a row she has said " I am going to have grandpa get a bath tonight..." and didn't do it...she doesn't want to she is tired and worn out, he hates doing it it is a big hassle...(cough cough another day he isn't dead ah hope springs eternal....) when she is off, no job no time constraints she can give him his bath every week....we shall see. Think I did too much on my ankle but staying off it as much as I can. It is about 20 degrees here, and we didn't seen the lunar eclipse here, too overcast, oh well. next one in 400 years I think....
Who are these people who come into our lives and add hassle bobbie? I swear...I think we all would come over and chuck his butt off your boat for you, some where shark infested!
Manipulative family members? Why do I know it but still always end up "surprised" like it should be something else? Hope springs stupid? What ever. man I am tired...just get him up and out of here today...
Hi Angie, it is watching and waiting time you are where you need to be he knows you are there, sometimes they slip away the moment you leave the room, like our energy holds them here. Let him know you love him and it is OK to go and be at rest now...Maybe, I know it sounds crazy, you could sit close by and sing quietly some of his favorite Christmas songs...I actually did that beside my grandmother while she was passing...when no one else was listening of course. I would lay on the floor by the Hospice bed and hold her hand and sing. She died December 5th...
I guess they go when they are ready, time must be near....Thinking of you...
Bobbie, GOOD FOR YOU! through that jack*ss off the boat. Like you need help from anyone about anything. Just another example of people who don't get it thinking they have all the answers, we seem to find a lot of that. I know I do, It's why I think groups like this are so important, We don't pretend that we know everything and we can even admit to ourselves and others that sometimes there are no answers and the RIGHT thing to do is to go with our gut and our heart and keep doing what we're doing. And YOU are the reason we have this group.
I sit by his bed and talk to him about my day... He always loved that when i was working and would tell him all about what my day was like. I sing to the radio we have the xmas music on 24/7.... I am certainly no Mariah Carey, but i do have a unique voice, the dog just growls lol lol lol. I know that he is having no pain, so that is a plus. I hate leaving his side, silly i guess, but i just dont want him to be alone when it happens, maybe thats it. He is saying to himself, God you were a pain as a kid and know you wont leave me alone lol lol lol.......
I sat with mom and held her hand and tried not to cry but that didn't work. I think that it's ok if they know you're crying. I told mom too that I wanted her to stay and play with me but I understood that if she wanted to go, she should go and i was going to be ok. I'm not ok, but I think that a little lie right there is not so bad. crying again. See Miz? it comes and goes and you just have to let it wash over you and then withdraw. Like being at the beach.
bobbie......so sorry your boat guy turned out to be a jerk.....true....you remind me I need to clean house.....:)......told mil yesterday that she had to lower the credit limit on her credit card, she argued for awhile because in her mind her bank account and credit card are one and the same. So I had to sit down and explain to her that one hasn't got anything to do with the other except that I pay the card from the account. Anyway, got it changed then she decided that amount didn't leave her enough for when she takes a big vacation. She used to go to Hawaii every Feb with daughter and granddaughters......so here I go again explaining gently that she will never get to take a vacation like that again. Hubby won't go again and she cannot be turned loose to go with granddaughters..not fair to them. Hubby says "her mind is really failing isn't it"? Gee you're the doctor, what was your first clue? He says she only has maybe a couple of more years....when the mind goes so does the body. Give me the strength....told him last night that no matter what I will be there to hold her hand when she goes to the light....time for more coffee, hubby wants breakfast and then a haircut in that order....:)
Thanks Bobbie and I find peace and comfort knowing that I do have all of you angels here for sure. I cry at his bedside, we all have given the permission. He just a strong ol Irishman for sure , he is not going he until he bloody well and ready lol lol lol....... I absolutely cherish though sitting with him until 2am, sounds weird, but i do.
rip......medical students don't have it as hard as the "old school". My hubby learned to sleep standing up.....would be up for days at a time. Now his schedule is 12 hr shifts, some days some nights. So he pulls switches and it would make me crazy. There are times when he will work a day shift, be home at 7 p then have to go back the next night shift. Hmmmm when to sleep, can't sleep that night cuz then he wouldn't sleep the next day.....so stays up most of the night after having worked 12 hrs........but he trained himself to fall asleep within 10 sec of lying down....amazes me to watch! Is going to start retirement next April......yippeeeeee! Maybe a sort of life now.....
Jam, have to take over the finances or she'll drop the ball. Just the way it is. There's no explaining, blah blah. Make you nuts. Game is over. No more credit card, debit card. sad but it just is. longer you put it off, the worse it can be and I speak from experience. Mom hid everything and I can't even begin to tell you of the stress of trying to put it all back together. Still working on it and still a cause of great stress. Lost a bunch of $$ due to me not knowing what was going on. Mom enlisted the help of her creepy beeyatch friend and that really screwed us over.
with both of us having POA on mil we have managed to keep track of her money. We moved all but 4 CD's to our bank......everything still in her name, with ours on acct too. She cashed in some CD's and gave us enough to pay off our house, and I've thanked her plenty for it, but every so often she gets on a high-horse and tells me that "I paid $92,000 for this house (hers) and you can't tell me what to do in it". yada, yada, yada,.....she kept shoving this piece of paper in my face with some figures on it and after about the 20th time I took it and ripped it to pieces. Out of sight, out of mind. I do pay all of her bills......she told me yesterday she was perfectly capable of paying her own bills. When I asked what she has coming in of course she doesn't know so I explain that her utilities are included in ours, she is in the mood to argue about things this week and I'm trying to not allow her to push my buttons.
Good Morning from Rainy So CA. Been reading and sending hugs, but my shoulder is bad, so can't be here much. My laptop addiction has finally caught up with me. Please know ALL of you are in my thoughts all day long, and special prayers of hope, healing, peace, and perfect LOVE I send constantly. See you soon on the bobbieb FB page Have to find my invite. Love, christina
angie, it's not weird at all and I wish so much I would have not taken my meds and stayed up with Mom her last night. It haunts me. I woke up and could not hear her breathing but maybe saw her body move up and down a bit (or maybe I imagined it). I guess I could not face it right then because I went to the bathroom and then went to her and she was gone and peaceful like she was sleeping. I so regret not going straight to her and talking to her because maybe she could still hear me. I don't know why I didn't. I told her I loved her countless times that week and gave her permission to go and told her I would be okay and how much everybody loved her and that I knew she loved me because she had told me so many times (after she could no longer speak). I just wish I could do it over but I can't. Stay up with your dad, Angie. You will be glad you did.
Hubby is sick. I took him to the doc this morning and she thinks it is gastritis. He was vomiting, had stomach pain, achy all over, light headed, etc. So, we probably won't be going to St. Louis tomorrow which sucks. But I just want him to be okay. I have a bladder infection (Linda you were right). It's just one damn thing after another. Sorry, I'm bitching.
Miz, It's what you use when you don't have scissors or a good haircutter: a combination mulcher and vacuum for hair LOL bobbie--if I were there, I'd cut your hair. I'm an old hairdresser. hugs christina
Wrapping presents. Got this back pain from my bladder infection I guess. I'm worried about my hubby. Doc got on his case for smoking. Says it can cause gastritis. I just want him to be okay. Could not handle anymore.
Hi everyone Miz, hope you and hubby are okay. my mom and I both need haircuts and I keep putting it off. Our heater broke down this morning but was able to get it fixed this afetrnoon! Had good luck today! The biggest problem today is boredom. could be worse. prayers for Angie ssk
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Coffee Time!
Sorry i was AWOL for a bit. some interesting things happened.
ok, guy that has a boat here comes to my boat and we have coffee. He's a widower and tells me all kind of stuff about different paperwork I'm dealing with (it was on the table and he noticed it). turns out that this used to be his job. alright, I'm listening. The more he talked about my papework, the more upset I got. I told him my background and that I'm 'broken' and can't handle a lot of stress, but boy does he keep going. Scoffs and tells me: you are NOT broken, blah blah blah. and he started out so nice.
I could feel those old feelings of being betrayed sneak in and I asked him to stop talking about the stuff. He couldn't so I had to ask him to leave the boat. he was very blustery and I'm yeah, whatever, seeya.
I literally went to bed, hugged the Cat and cried. I cried for my daddy who in my perfect world would fix what was wrong. (only until I was about 9 or 10 but that works)
I fell asleep and then got up to make myself a bowl of salad and chickpeas and salmon and sat down to write to you guys and the phone goes off and it's my cuz from Michigan.
We talked for over an hour and I got to talk to his wife and sweet!
He has read the thread from the beginning thru June (after mom died [his aunt]) and said that he will check in from time to time.
He knows y'alls names and stories and is he a good guy! His wife had to be a caregiver and she had trouble reading the thread because of all the memories. I get it.
Anyhoo, I was right, my bio mom called my aunt, his mom, and told her that my mom had died and then proceeded to trash me like there was no tomorrow.
Cuz said she went on and on about how awful and vulgar I am and how I was abusive to my mom, etc etc. She also said that she never wanted to talk to me again and that I had better not try and call her because she's finished with me.
I'm thinking, man, what must my cuz think?
He's real low key about it and I want to ask the questions, but don't want to be the person who wants to hear the gossip, but hey! it's about me and I need to get this over with.
Bottom line? they thinks she's bi polar, and 'over the top religious' (what a nice way to put it!) they have had experiences with her that have nothing to do with me and those experiences were bad so it's not me, folks! WooHoo, off the hook!
I told him, and I got to talk to his wife for a bit, very cool, that I was worried about them because I think that she may have a form of dementia considering her behavior and their response:
Wouldn't surprise us in the least.
I of course am worried about who is going to take care of them even though she is very hateful to me. I do know that it's not going to be me! Like the guy who got himself invited OFF the boat: no more abuse!
then the most magical thing happened! cuz said, hey you want to see some pictures of my BOAT?
He's got a bee you tee ful FAST fishing boat.
When his wife found out that you can lay around on the Barbara B and read or snooze, she was down for a visit. Sitting outside and getting wet is not her idea of a good time. mine either. so hopefully they can come down in the Spring!
I have a relative!!! where there's boats there's proof!!
btw, he's the one who taught me how to drive a speedboat. I think I was 9 or so. they liked to ski and I liked to drive.
I want to get a big inner tube (remember those?) off an EarthMover (do they still have inner tubes?) and fix it up and tow it behind the boat. Lay up in that and fish.
I went from the depths to the top yesterday and as we all know, that can wipe you out!
I have not moved the boat yet but am getting ready to do so.
I am very excited because we will have a caregiver and her husband on board! Working out the details!
love to you guys and Jen, when I cared for my mom we used the money for necessities. Her money, my money, our money.
refuse to tolerate the enslavement. That is what it is.
I love ya kid and hope that you can come and hang out on the boat.
All of you guys.
As Miz says: love yous.
lovbob
great post bobbie!
I can't think yet, going to get coffee.
ssk
well i know i havent been here in a few day let me catch yall up i been cleanin house the chore i just love to hate the most!
talking about the boat the other day on fb i relized i needed to go renew my license so glad i remembered. so i did that yesterday good for another four years wihed i lived in arizona i would not have to do it every four years.i would have 12 years or something crazy. talked to my son in california on skype a little. brought moma to the great granchildrens christmas plays. had to get her out of the house, so glad the weather was good. we even went to church sunday and had the chrismas play there. hadnt been to church in a month.
moma shuts down in december starts in november and i had started ot shut down then i met yall.
i pick us up
dusted us off
and started us off again
and tonight one of the grandaughters is sending one of the great granddaughters over to grandma sit so this caregiver can sorta go out
wahoho
and by the way rip yeas they still mak the big anbigger inner tubes i just got rid of one since i dont have a boat
the best place to get them is to go on line or to a boat shop
wal mart has them but i might not be big enough.
anyway, still cleaning it takes so long caus i get destracted or my back get to hurting and then what i have clean needs cleaning again but of course yall know what i mean.so i clean like a mad man for about 10 days and then only do what i have to fo about a month after that. caus then i cant hardly move. silly i know but we gota do what we gota do.
i got get to the laundry i been watchy guys and today i will be runnin round i will talk to yall tommorrow here or there .
everyone take care and i will see you soon.
truecolors aka liz aka true aka elizabeth oxox
Think I did too much on my ankle but staying off it as much as I can.
It is about 20 degrees here, and we didn't seen the lunar eclipse here, too overcast, oh well. next one in 400 years I think....
Who are these people who come into our lives and add hassle bobbie? I swear...I think we all would come over and chuck his butt off your boat for you, some where shark infested!
Manipulative family members? Why do I know it but still always end up "surprised" like it should be something else? Hope springs stupid? What ever. man I am tired...just get him up and out of here today...
Hi to everyone...hope things OK where you are...
I guess they go when they are ready, time must be near....Thinking of you...
Easy going cuz.
Off to give myself a haircut. thank God for the Flowbee!
more later.
lovbob
Just another example of people who don't get it thinking they have all the answers, we seem to find a lot of that. I know I do,
It's why I think groups like this are so important, We don't pretend that we know everything and we can even admit to ourselves and others that sometimes there are no answers and the RIGHT thing to do is to go with our gut and our heart and keep doing what we're doing.
And YOU are the reason we have this group.
I sat with mom and held her hand and tried not to cry but that didn't work. I think that it's ok if they know you're crying.
I told mom too that I wanted her to stay and play with me but I understood that if she wanted to go, she should go and i was going to be ok. I'm not ok, but I think that a little lie right there is not so bad.
crying again.
See Miz? it comes and goes and you just have to let it wash over you and then withdraw. Like being at the beach.
Angie, you know that we're with you and your dad.
lovbob
Love ya buddy. Want to hang out and hit the Pub with you!
lovbob
it's not wierd at all.
Jam, have to take over the finances or she'll drop the ball. Just the way it is.
There's no explaining, blah blah.
Make you nuts.
Game is over. No more credit card, debit card.
sad but it just is. longer you put it off, the worse it can be and I speak from experience.
Mom hid everything and I can't even begin to tell you of the stress of trying to put it all back together. Still working on it and still a cause of great stress. Lost a bunch of $$ due to me not knowing what was going on.
Mom enlisted the help of her creepy beeyatch friend and that really screwed us over.
lovbob
lovbob
love,
miz
bobbie--if I were there, I'd cut your hair. I'm an old hairdresser.
hugs christina
Cat didn't get a fat tail.
That's all I have to go by since I didn't use a mirror.
lovbob
Miz, hope you and hubby are okay.
my mom and I both need haircuts and I keep putting it off.
Our heater broke down this morning but was able to get it fixed this afetrnoon! Had good luck today!
The biggest problem today is boredom. could be worse.
prayers for Angie
ssk
love,
miz
lovbob