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Castoff, my dad had one of those life alerts,came in handy some .One day when he was able of getting in and out of wheelchair,he fell trying to get from toliet to wheelchair.I was gone to town and was gone for most of the day.He had that thing on his neck and the phone was in reach,but he neither pressed it or called for help.He sat there on the floor all day until I got home,could have called my brother.He said he did not call anyone because he did not want to be taken to hospital or old folks home.He only trusted me to handle it.The thing was I had gotten to delapidated to lift a 200 lb. man up,so I had to call for assistance.I had my daughter punched the button because he never got mad at her or the lucky dog.He was right they wanted to haul him in.I have learned the importance of having medical backup on these issues.My brothers wanted it not to get out my dad was sundowning,so I was not able to get medical records.My dads doctor left to work at a resort,so he did not have a regular doctor.Did not matter when you have a District attorney brother,need a new prescription a call from his highness and a new prescription was written-Home Health turned their back on that one also. So because of the lawsuit I didn't get any advice on sundowning because they were scared that would interfer with their plan.The home health nurse would tell my brother to get my dad to the hospital asap. and he would ignore her, but yet she never reported him.If I was POA,I would have been reported for a lot less.
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tenn , broke my heart when ur dad said he didnt want to push the button or call for help , fear they send him to old folks home .
dad had fell off the recliner and laid on the floor all night long till he got enuff strenght to pull himself up . my sis said why didnt u call ! he said ahh didnt want to bother anybody , but i knew deep inside that he thought the same thing ur dad did .
those mini strokes kept hittin him like fireworks . sis left fla and moved back to texas , dr told my bro he s gotta go living assist place or live iwth someone , oh my gosh all hell broke lose .
thats when i step in and got him out of the living assist place , hell i wouldnt mind livin there ! it was a nice place . but dad wouldnt have that , he rather be with me .
now i see yep i rather be with my families too .
pa still sick , he s mumblin jumblin , amkeepin an eye on him , waiting for my daughter to come home and tell me what she thinks ....
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OK--I'm back and everyone is probably gone! It's 10:15 in CA and I just got finished with my Mother, breakfast, shower, dressed. Giving my Mother a shower is a combination of trying to give a dog a bath without him shaking, and trying to catch a wild cat. It's a job in itself, and with a bad shoulder, so painful for me, because I am trying to keep her from losing her balance. My Golden Child sister is coming today for a visit. Made sure she told me she was "bringing another present for Mother." She didn't even address the Christmas card she sent to my husband and I, just Mother, and sent her an expensive hand wash and moisturizer combo, which she said that "you will probably get some use out of it, too, when you put it on Mom".
I kid you not, people. I thought there was a real frickin' Cinderella out there when I was a child--I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF US! My perspective is so AWESOME these days, that I am amused so much of the time when I am not P---ED OFF.
When I am not amused, I am amazed, then the jaw drops, and I give myself away. Today, I will wait for her to ask, "What's for lunch?", and I will casually say, "Oh, I thought you were taking us out to lunch for the holidays." I asked her in an email last week if she would come for 3 or 4 days to stay with Mother while my husband and I got a break, before she leaves her winter town for her summer town( here's a barf bag), and she has not answered me yet. I thought, today, when we are all having lunch--at the restaurant, HA!--I will ask her in front of God, my Mother and the caregiver if she has decided when she can come to stay with Mother. The anticipation is killing me, and I think it's making my shoulder feel better. What do you think?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ALL the birthday girls--if I had known I would have baked a red velvet cake for everyone!
Oh, one more vent-type of true story, then I'm through.( I'm starting to feel like I have over-indulged): My Mother gave me one--uno-1 birthday party when I was 6 years old. That was the only party I ever had until my husband gave me one for my 53rd BD in 04. She took 2 pianos away from me before I was 21,( the last one right about the time my Dad committed suicide) and forced me into early therapy when I was 28. It took me until I was 50 to realize she is a Narcissicist and a Passive Aggressive. I am a slow learner. I kept thinking and believing there was something wrong with me. My sister helped. Now, I rise above all the years of their selfish crap and do the RIGHT THING. Like a lot of you are doing--believe me, I KNOW IT, YOU PRECIOUS SOULS. EVERY ONE OF YOU.
Thank you, again, I guess I was really fed up with the holidays and Perry Como singing in the background, and things got to me. Thank you for your generous gift--Joe, staff, Bobbie, all my new friends--and the ones who think I'm an idiot, too.
Love, Christina
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Their was a well-respected older judge in town that my dad thought alot of.His oldest boy[who is friends with my brother] and his wife did not want to take care of their daddy in his old age-so he went behind the shed and blew himself away.The boy who is a banker and also into politics did everything he could to keep the truth out of it.He kept it out of the papers,played up the role of saddened son-even though he didn't have time for his father.My dad would have done the same thing if my brothers and their wives tried to do that to him.
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OOOhhh Christina, Yes, make the Golden Child take you out to lunch and I hope you pop the question at lunch and make sure you don't reach for the check!

why don't you put some of that expensive lotion on your sister's salad at lunch....? then she can get some use out of it too.
Whatta sna!ch.

Vent on kiddo. There are many of us on this thread that are caring for or have cared for people who treated us very badly.
I wa very lucky because even though my mom and I had an awful, secret keeping past (which I always wondered about, as in: what's the big deal?) we grew very very close. I had never stopped loving her or my daddy even when I didn't understand why they were being so mean and I am happy that we were able to be together. Mental Illness sux, whether it's BPD or any garden variety anxiety disorder or what ever.
No one is as selfish as the mentally ill. It's always all about them.
OK, enough about me..... what do you think of me? har har

btw, you can't over indulge in venting. If you make the comparison of a human being and a tea kettle, when it gets to a certain point, the pressure MUST be released or the tea kettle and everything around it will be severely damaged.

vent on

I think that I told you folks that with my background I really had only 2 choices for work.
1. Serial Killer
2. Comedian

Both require victims........

lovbob
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oh my gosh tenn ! that is soo sad ! hope his kids have to live with guilt for rest of thier lives !
i remmy my gfriend told me she watch a show , dont remmy the name of it , said all bro and sis gathered around and talked about what to do with thier dad , all says im busy i have a job and i have a life blah blah blah . a daughter in law is divorced from that man s son , she sat there and listen to all thier excuses and shook her head and the dad sat there with his head down , sad man . she stood up and said i know im just the in law ex , may i have any say so in this , they all said yeah , she told them that they ought to be ashame of themself ! and she is willing to take care of him till to the end ,
she did and has no regrets .
amazin a large family and no one would take him . thats pathaitc . that old man lived happy and died happy .
so sad .
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What a great daughter-in-law he had.BOBBIE-I think I'm more of a pressure cooker than a tea kettle.
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Hey everyone. Angie's dad's obituary.Daniel F. Lynch
Daniel “Dan” F. Lynch, age 73, of Fall River, died December 23, 2010 at his residence. He was the husband of Angela C. (Grace) Lynch to whom he has been married for the past 55 years.
Born in Fall River, a son of the late Dennis F. and Mary Margaret (Slattery) Lynch, he was a lifelong resident of the city.
A graduate of B.M.C. Durfee High School, class of 1955 he was a Veteran of the United States Army. He worked at the former New England Telephone Company now Verizon for 38 years. He enjoyed gardening and history and his greatest hobby of all was train collecting.
In addition to his wife he is survived by three daughters, Angela M. Lynch of Fall River, Elizabeth A. Laprade and her husband William of Seekonk, Sylvia A. Balaga and her husband Venkataramana of Acton, MA, one son Daniel P. Lynch and his wife Kimberly of Fall River, one brother William Lynch and his wife Patricia of Sterling Heights, MI, two sisters Barbara Hayden and her husband Timothy of Seekonk, and Kathleen Lynch of Fall River, 15 grandchildren, including Emily Medeiros and several nieces and nephews. He was father of the late Michael S. Lynch and brother of the late Brian Lynch. He also leaves his beloved dog Austin.
His Funeral will be held Thursday, December 30, 2010 at 11:00 AM in the WARING-SULLIVAN HOME OF MEMORIAL TRIBUTE at CHERRY PLACE 178 Winter St. Fall River. Visiting hours Wednesday 3-6 PM Contributions in his honor may be made to Visiting Nurses Association 502 Bedford St. Fall River, MA 02720. Burial in St. Patrick’s Cemetery, Fall River. Tributes or directions: waring-sullivan.com
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What's do you want it to be Caregivers?

A Bear or an Angel?

Let me know and I will make it so.

lovbob
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Bobbie, I found a memory Lamp online and I can send it to her today from her AC friends. It's a local company so the shipping will be minimal.
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what is a memory lamp ?
bobbie , doent matter which ever u decided bear or angel im always happy with it , :-)
pa s seems to calm down a bunch after moving him to living room . he sleepin like a baby now , poor guy .
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Memory Lamps are the newest way to celebrate someone's life"by giving the gift of everlasting light". It's a sympathy gift that has been popular around here for a couple of years. I can post a picture of one on Facebook an the group page.
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Love it Deef.

thanks for representing us.

from your family of angels.... ?

whatever you decide Deef.

thank you again,
lovbob
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Back from the wilds of the River bottom-made it home by dark.Someone cut my fence and duck taped it together-guess they didn't think I would notice.
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Wow how many posts tonight!
Happy birthday Truecolors and Happy birthday Captain our Captain!
I watched US weather on TV and I'm sorry for you who are getting the worst of it. Didn't Jojo live in the NY area?
I read all your stories about evil siblings and ungrateful parents, and I am starting to think that we have to live with it! It is very unlikely that these situations will change. So, I guess, let's vent vent vent but without hope things get better!
More or less, we are alone to fight with these messes, except from the help of some personal friends and the friends of this thread.
Not very brilliant post, but my brain is as frozen as my body...
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I'd like to contribute to the bear or the angel or the lamp but I am too far away and mostly I have no $$$$ at all (as usual)
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Bobbie,
Is that dock in the picture the 1st St.Augustine dock ?
Lil Tenny
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Bent down to pick up wood and dog farted in my face and laughed.Gross.
Lil Tenny
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Daughter just told me how aweful I look and go lay down....I think I will do that...old folks don't bounce back like kids do..good night.
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was thinking , umm cant hug a lamp . i believe a bear would be good , its huggable , wipe tears on the bear ,
lamp sounds good also and more expesnive too ,
whatever u decide is fine with me ,
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Have a good rest tenn. Duct tape on fence who does that? Or should we be grateful they thought to bring the tape?.... Who are these people....
Also the you will get use out of the expensive lotion when you use it on mother...Lovely, does she come up with that crap herself or is there a web site for asinine commentary from slacker siblings?
Query long post back here...I am afraid the pervy-tude from grandfather isn't age related, he was always the one to "kiss the girls' grabby squeezing get away from him type. My grandmother one time when they were here tied a scarf around my neck to cover two inches of cleavage and i had no idea why, now I know. If there is anything more to this than his collection of porn, his leering looks at me (no not naked or good looking) his insipid sicko comments to Me and only me about that's how worms mate leer leer I mean what the hell. I have no actual abuse issues here to mention but he is the socially retarded sort that if he turned out to be a pedophile I imagine he'd be preferential. He gets really excited to look at pics of my cousins young daughter. When she sends them to me I don't give them to him. The stuff it just so gross. I wish I could say it was dementia inappropriateness but it has always been there.

Mom had a day off today, he went to adh, and she was glad! Yes yes, and it was quiet all day long till he came home the moaning and yelling at the Tv pretty much starts five minutes after he gets in the door...whatever, she can deal with his BS now....

Happy Birthday to all our Capies out there...

I hope everyone is doing OK where ever they are. In what ever they are in....
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Hey! I was #7300!
cashing it in right this minute.
Boat Time!

lovbob
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Bobbie - Keep that boat ready for visitors. Don't think I'll get there soon but hope to be able to someday! I've been trying to catch up - sorry if I missed your birthday. If I did, hope it was the best ever! If not, hope it IS the best ever! I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me the family I need! Love and kisses to you - Kuli
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Deef - I would love to contribute to whatever you think is best for Angie. Please let me know where I can send you some $$. Kuli
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Bobbie, I will send one that has an angel and your idea for a comment is perfect! Angie always calls us her angels. I'll let everyone know where to see what it looks like.
Happy birthday!! Peach will have a box for you from me when you meet. A belated X-Mas/birthday present.
I will post my address on f/b on the Crew. Please, if you aren't able to contribute, it's not a problem ! There will be another time to help one of us in the future.
I hope to be meeting Angie when things get settled down for her. I'll let you all know when, and be sure to get pictures of us to post on The Crew!
Have a good night everyone! Kathy
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBIE
HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY BOBBIE
LUV TRUECOLORS
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I just found this awesome thread. You guys are so crazy, funny, uplifting....shall I go on? I hope I can jump in here and be a new member of your group. I care for both of my parents who just happen to love misery. I need all the help and understanding that I can get.
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You are in BonnieO! Hi!

Hey all, Sir's piss is flowing sans blood. Whew!
Past 10 & he's wide awke enjoying TMC. I'm beat after staying awake checking on him for 2 nights.

Happy birthday Founder Bobbie! Can't wait to hear more ... I noticed you hit your own boat time. Ha!
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Susan, hope this one makes you laugh big time!

Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the heck were Nancy & Betty wearing?" "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needed
ironing."

Love,
peach
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Dear Captain Bobbie...

In Chinese-Mandarin: Sheng Ri Kuai Le!
In French: Joyeux Anniversaire!
In Hawaiian: Hau`oli la hanau!
In Italian: Buon Compleanno!
In Japanese: Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu!
In Navajo: bil hoozho bi'dizhchi-neeji' 'aneilkaah!
In Zulu (South Afican): Ilanga elimndandi kuwe!

No matter how you choose to say it, wanna wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Not just an ordinary birthday, but the best ever!

Thank you for everything!
We love you more than you know!
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