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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Regarding the visiting nurses: They keep sending different ones, then I have to fill them in on the whole history, while they write their notes, and they really don't do anything, just take her blood pressure. Then they give a safety lecture, make sure she doesn't fall, do you have a wheelchair?,, blah, blah, blah. I just need someone who can sit with her for an hour so I can take a walk, I'm capable of doing the rest of the stuff. I guess I'm not in a good mood today. Am looking forward to going to sleep!
I think it's the tree outside my window that decides. It's a big tree. Must do what it says.
That being said, I went to my doctor today. He was also Mom's doctor. I told him about my regrets and guilt and he said (as some of you have said) that I did nothing wrong. That it would not have made a difference if I had called 911 a half hour earlier or whatever. He said it's very hard on an elderly person to go to the emergency room, etc. He said her heart was weak. I can't remember everything he said but he said Mom is better off. She didn't have quality of life with her dementia and weak heart and such. I told him that I know he tried everything and how grateful I was that he came to see her on Thanksgiving and Sunday. He said he is there everyday. He truly cares. He also said that when his father was very sick they didn't take him to the hospital. They let him die at home. He said he could feel bad about that but they didn't want him poked and prodded and all of that. And, he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Sweet sweet man.
ssk sounds like you need a caregiver and not a visiting nurse...a consistent caregiver will already know the story and will know more and more what to do each day..if you have them come consistently. I have one that comes during the workweek..M-W-F 4 hours T-Th 8 hours.
Pirate, beyond the CHF I do not know. Has her appetite always been good? Does she crave sweets? Diabetes maybe? Is she thirsty a lot? I'm sorry. I don't know. Maybe others on here do. I thought it was really odd when Mom started turning down ice cream bars. I told the doc she was eating less. How old is your mom?
Christina, hi....I will assume you were not being judgemental by making your suggestions. Since we don't know one another it's much better not to assume either way if someone is or isn't doing something. My dad is actually very good at caring for his own nails...just not washing hands. I thought we were venting so I left out background info which apparently would have been useful to you in your response. Dad has his own cookie jar but he doesn't realize it's his own...we don't want him to feel self-conscience or singled out, leaving opportunity for him to be offended or hurt. Everyone is different and has a different response to things. This has been a difficult 14 mo transition for him to have to come and live with others when he has been so independent all these years. We have made the most of it and I'm grateful he is here although like many here on this message board the strain and loss of our own lives and privacy thru caretaking is stressful. Certainly we all have common sense enough to know, reminders while useful to some are an annoyance to others...like my dad. I decided about 4 mos ago to for-go the reminders (aka nagging :) and try hand sanitizers etc(which still grossed me out but are the lesser of two evils as it were)...didn't work so rather than having his last years here on earth be filled with someone making him feel as tho he hasn't been doing things right for the past 84 yrs of his life, I would much rather grab the bottle of disinfectant after he goes to bed and do my thing. Realizing we are all fairly intelligent people here(since we do have responsibility for our parent(s) or others) I would appreciate just being able to vent and not have to explain every little thing in a defense for action or inaction on my part. While your suggestions are sweet I would also remind you, and others, that not everybody had a great relationship with those they are taking care of. Not everyone had a "daddy"...or "mommy" during their childhood. Some are survivors of incest, child abuse, etc. We should all refrain from making generalized suggestions based on our own experiences with our family members to others we know nothing about until it is requested. I appreciate you allowing me to share from my heart with you...no offence taken and I hope you will not be offended either. We are all learning on this journey of caregiving that life has diverted us to. Blessings to you and yours...:)
Yep, sskape. They can drive ya nuts. I talked to my SIL about it once. She an RN. She said when she first started visiting people's homes she was very vigilante about safety, etc. She then relaxed a bit. We have good sense. We know not to put dangerous throw rugs where our loved ones can trip. We know to keep a clear path. However, there were some things that were suggested to me that made some sense. I think Pirate is so right. A consistent caregiver is what you need. Someone who cares about people, has compassion and is pleasant to be around.
Hey PQ--just hearing about someone getting their butt kicked does my heart good. Ha! it wouldn't be worth it. To my siblings, my direct deliverance of the truth makes them shiver their timbers, ay, matey? I am a very nice person, until I am confronted with any sort of injustice--then I become righteously indignant. My Mother's appetite has waned the last couple of weeks, but we were trying her on anti-depressants. She is much thirstier, and very agitated. Have you changed or added meds? Are you measuring how much she drinks then measure how much she pees? and weigh a couple of times a day. Maybe her sodium is high? We need a book, "Caregiving for Dummies". Is there one?
Babzgirl, (I speak for myself) one of the pleasures I find in this site is that everybody feels free to say what he wants, to tell his story, to make comments about what the other person said... Words at freedom! Sometimes you get more comments than you wish. Sometimes, less comments than you wish... Everybody here has good intentions. Otherwise he would not even take the trouble of writing something. We are so different! We have so many different ways to deal with things, to react to things... I think it is fascinating.
Get on the book idea. Try asking the people who do the "Dummies" series if they were interested.
Just cold and cold here...gonna go read my library books...Mom is mad a lot now but maybe once the new routine is more established she will feel she has more control and made the right decision.
here's one, or two...That big mega millions jackpot was won by two people, one from eastern WA one From Post Falls Idaho...cool it was so close locally...
Hi Babzgirl, I hear you, and yes, I was probably using a sort of judgment, as I do all day long! We vent here, and we help each other. And and and: I apologized right away, didn't I:)?And and and: You accepted my apology, you little sweetheart! If you want to read one of my MOST EMBARRASSING posts on this site--and I haven't been here very long--you can go back and read my sob story about my bad relationship with my Mother -- who I care for in my home--and my Dad's suicide. But let's not and say we did, OK? I'm fine with things the way they are, and I do not ass u me anything. Let's DROP IT, AND BE FRIENDS, OK? Otherwise I'm gonna have Piratequeen kick your BUTT. She's so good at it, and I'm kinda busy. HUGS! christina xoxoxoxoxo
We had a home care nurse whom neither my husband or I liked-sometimes we would agree on things and my cat went over to her one day and talked to her and she said he is so cute he is talking to me and he went away and kept comming to scold her -before that he was always so quiet I had to keep myself from laughing because he really was telling her off. Another nurse reported us ro a social worker that our house was too messy he came and made a report that it was better than ever and that my husband was very well cared for. This is the site to vent we are all family and at times we get our knickers twisted but we support each other and everyones ideas are respected. My Mom was very nausated and stoped eating and was losing weight and we found that her med for osteoporis was being injected in the morning and was changed to bedtime and that made a big difference so if your elder is not eating check their meds with the pharmacy and ask their advice sometimes they are more informed than the docs. Linda where are you?
hi folks im here . yesterday the internet kept comin on and off and on and off , got fed up with it so i said to hell with it . i still am not feeling good , today i had no enegry at all , pa too , told him we need to go bye bye so we did , drove to the next city and stop at dairy queen , got us pulled bq pork sandwhich and milkshake oh yes onion rings . crank on the music 70 s 80 s , boggie on the way home . dad ate happy all the way . drove about an hr and half round trip . did us good .
i see nance askin question about who decides who gets bears or who gets lamps . im guessing whoever decides it takes care of it , whoever wants to do it out of kindness of thier heart then they do it . if some wants to pay thier share of the cost they can and ask for home addy and mails thier part of thier share . only if they can or want to . its up to whom ever wants to do it . id love to do it all cuz i love you all ! but i cant do it all . you all caregivers are spiecal people in my eyes , love you bunch , i better get off here before this internet decides to shut down again ,. damn bastard ! , goodnight xoxoxox
Hey Miz! Just got done catching up on posts after dealing with Mom and a crabby hubby! Geesh! As if things aren't bad enough, the men have to add to the mix! Sounds like you are feeling better today. Rossella, as always, the voice of reason! I'm with you and writing! Hurts my hand like crazy! Arthritis and carpel tunnel don't help. Neither does all the painting and knitting. Not likely ti give those up though! Christina, Glad you got out today. It does make a difference. Jen, More snow? Did you get any good books? I think we have a storm coming for the weekend here. SSK, My experience with home visits is just that! Come at any time that's convenient for them, and do their thing and leave. They are not there to relieve you or give your mom companionship. Check your local senior center. There should be someone on staff that can help you find local organizations that have either paid or volunteer companions so you can get out for an hour. The other option is to get a home health aid either through a service,(big bucks) or find a Cna that is willing to come for a few hours to sit with your mom, to make a few extra bucks. Linda, Sounds like a great lunch! Love Dairy Queen!!!! Nance, what Linda said about sending stuff. I would send something to everyone if I had their address. I took care of the lamp for Angie because I live close by and am in contact with her through e-mail. I would like Jam's address so we can honor her mom. I'm not familiar with when your Mom passed. Were you on this thread at the time? Fill me in please. Pirate, your Mom may need to be fed by someone if she has dementia. She just may not have the ability to focus enough to feed herself anymore. Definitely get her checked by her doctor, but have the helpers try to feed her or at least prompt her to pick up her fork and eat. Babz? You've got the idea. Say what's on your mind. We're all used to getting pointed in the right direction when necessary! Got to feed the 4 kitties and take my meds. Maybe back on if I can stay awake! Kathy
Speaking of cats, Kathy, I posted 3 beautiful photos on Facebook which I stole from a friend of a friend. Never seen so beautiful photos of cats. They have been made with a Reflex
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I just need someone who can sit with her for an hour so I can take a walk, I'm capable of doing the rest of the stuff. I guess I'm not in a good mood today. Am looking forward to going to sleep!
That being said, I went to my doctor today. He was also Mom's doctor. I told him about my regrets and guilt and he said (as some of you have said) that I did nothing wrong. That it would not have made a difference if I had called 911 a half hour earlier or whatever. He said it's very hard on an elderly person to go to the emergency room, etc. He said her heart was weak. I can't remember everything he said but he said Mom is better off. She didn't have quality of life with her dementia and weak heart and such. I told him that I know he tried everything and how grateful I was that he came to see her on Thanksgiving and Sunday. He said he is there everyday. He truly cares. He also said that when his father was very sick they didn't take him to the hospital. They let him die at home. He said he could feel bad about that but they didn't want him poked and prodded and all of that. And, he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Sweet sweet man.
love,
miz
love,
miz
miz-your doctor is a good one, he cares
ssk
We are so different! We have so many different ways to deal with things, to react to things... I think it is fascinating.
Just cold and cold here...gonna go read my library books...Mom is mad a lot now but maybe once the new routine is more established she will feel she has more control and made the right decision.
If you want to read one of my MOST EMBARRASSING posts on this site--and I haven't been here very long--you can go back and read my sob story about my bad relationship with my Mother -- who I care for in my home--and my Dad's suicide. But let's not and say we did, OK?
I'm fine with things the way they are, and I do not ass u me anything. Let's DROP IT, AND BE FRIENDS, OK? Otherwise I'm gonna have Piratequeen kick your BUTT. She's so good at it, and I'm kinda busy. HUGS! christina xoxoxoxoxo
Pirate? Did you take my tequila?
yesterday the internet kept comin on and off and on and off , got fed up with it so i said to hell with it .
i still am not feeling good , today i had no enegry at all , pa too , told him we need to go bye bye so we did , drove to the next city and stop at dairy queen , got us pulled bq pork sandwhich and milkshake oh yes onion rings . crank on the music 70 s 80 s , boggie on the way home . dad ate happy all the way . drove about an hr and half round trip . did us good .
i see nance askin question about who decides who gets bears or who gets lamps . im guessing whoever decides it takes care of it , whoever wants to do it out of kindness of thier heart then they do it . if some wants to pay thier share of the cost they can and ask for home addy and mails thier part of thier share . only if they can or want to . its up to whom ever wants to do it .
id love to do it all cuz i love you all ! but i cant do it all . you all caregivers are spiecal people in my eyes , love you bunch , i better get off here before this internet decides to shut down again ,. damn bastard ! , goodnight xoxoxox
love,
miz
Sounds like you are feeling better today.
Rossella, as always, the voice of reason! I'm with you and writing! Hurts my hand like crazy! Arthritis and carpel tunnel don't help. Neither does all the painting and knitting. Not likely ti give those up though!
Christina, Glad you got out today. It does make a difference.
Jen, More snow? Did you get any good books? I think we have a storm coming for the weekend here.
SSK, My experience with home visits is just that! Come at any time that's convenient for them, and do their thing and leave. They are not there to relieve you or give your mom companionship. Check your local senior center. There should be someone on staff that can help you find local organizations that have either paid or volunteer companions so you can get out for an hour. The other option is to get a home health aid either through a service,(big bucks) or find a Cna that is willing to come for a few hours to sit with your mom, to make a few extra bucks.
Linda, Sounds like a great lunch! Love Dairy Queen!!!!
Nance, what Linda said about sending stuff. I would send something to everyone if I had their address. I took care of the lamp for Angie because I live close by and am in contact with her through e-mail. I would like Jam's address so we can honor her mom. I'm not familiar with when your Mom passed. Were you on this thread at the time? Fill me in please.
Pirate, your Mom may need to be fed by someone if she has dementia. She just may not have the ability to focus enough to feed herself anymore. Definitely get her checked by her doctor, but have the helpers try to feed her or at least prompt her to pick up her fork and eat.
Babz? You've got the idea. Say what's on your mind. We're all used to getting pointed in the right direction when necessary!
Got to feed the 4 kitties and take my meds.
Maybe back on if I can stay awake! Kathy