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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Well, the floor is done. My back hurt for awhile. It's kind of a big floor. I used one of those Swifter thingies though so it's not that bad. Hubby's sleepin'. I kinda feel like going out but then there's the snow. Maybe I'll read.
To the Captain: I found a quote by Marie Curie, physicist and Nobel prize winner. I hope it speaks to you, Bobbie. " You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end, each of us must work for our own improvement, at the same time, share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful." It appears you are helping to build a better world. There are certainly glitches involved with that: those who are jealous and want to see failure. Those poor souls are few and far between, like a speck of dust. Hope you're having a great weekend. Hugs, christina
Jam, I am so sorry for you. We have been abandoned by our siblings and many of our relatives, at least most of us, and it is already painful enough. I don't have children so I can't even imagine what you feel when you are deceived this way by your own children. But, as I did not have children, I loved profoundly my nephews (brother's sons) and when they were little I was more than a aunt for them, let's say a mother/aunt. My SIL was very kind and she always let me free access to them (she is the best person in my brother's family!) So, my nephews and I were very close when they were little. Growing up, they felt more and more the problems between me and their father and bit by bit they became more and more distant from me. They scarcely know that I exist, now. I see them twice or three times a year and I see that they don't even remember how much we loved each other when they were kids. I know about their life only through Facebook! (God bless Facebook; otherwise I would not know anything about them). I "spy" them through Internet! It's so sad, and I can understand a little bit what you must feel. You are very brave, Maybe I told you many times, but it is true. I read all the latest posts of the "crew" and I feel close to all of you, but Jam's is the only one I had to say something about. Oh yeah another thing: Bobbie, 8 inches is just a vague memory and I keep on my desktop a photo of a very handsome man in bathing suit just to remember that men "existed"!!!!! Shall I ever lay hands on them some more times before it is too late???? Bobbie's cuz: :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Snows a melting to slush then froze to ice slick, would go out but between needing money for my health insurance and otc's and not being willing to try AND negotiate the ice with an injured ankle I am home bound for a while yet....
Back to the deep freeze here...hope everyone is doing OK where they are...
Rossella thank you for your comfort and support...I hate this empty feeling in my chest like there is a big gaping hole. I am stronger than this and I refuse to allow either child to further drag me down into a black hole. I am going to patiently wait for the snow to arrive tomorrow night and sit here watching while we are getting only 6 inches.......:)
Rossella, Like you, I have no children of my own. I was very good to my sister's children as they were growing up except for her oldest who was difficult to get along with. I think we are too much alike. Now, the only one that speaks to me is her oldest son which is strange but then again it's not because her relationship with him is not so great. I know she has turned them against me because my brother's two daughters are very kind and loving to me. It makes me very sad but it's just a fact. My brother's two daughters are on Facebook but I have never found any of my sister's kids. So, they are not on there or they have blocked me, I don't know. Thankfully, my husband has a good family who accept me and love me.
Rossella, Like you I never had children so my nephews were my children. They spent just as much time in my house as their parents home. When they got older and had troubles with girls, I was the one that comforted them and helped them move on. I guess that is why I was so crushed when my oldest nephew turned on me and kicked me out of his home on New Year's Eve. I felt betrayed by him and the fact that no one in the family stood up for me. So Jam, yes, I know what you mean about having a gaping hole in your heart from you children's betrayal. On New Years Eve I felt the physical pain of a broken heart. Stay strong and do what you need to do to protect yourself emotionally. Do like Maxine said, delete the emails, don't even read them. Like so many others on here have said, your caregiver family (us) is really the only one that can understand what you are going through. Hang tough my dear!
When Mom was in the hospital I tried to call my nephew because I had promised him that I would if something happened to her. I left a message and he never returned my call. That hurt.
I'm sorry, Diane, Miz. If the parents of these girls/boys understood that putting them against us it means that they lose a person who loves them... And there are not many people that really love us in this world. If I had children I guess I would cherish anyone who loves them. I mean, I will always help my nephews if they will need it, but the warmth of our relationship is gone, probably forever!
What would I do without all of you? You all make me feel better...I must get over and above this feeling or I'm afraid it will start to affect my physical and mental health and I WILL NOT allow that to happen...because I know I am not the rotten, lying person I have been called and the rantings that have been thrown at me are coming from someone who is mentally unbalanced. So now I will have a rum and coke and follow that with a Reese's peanut butter cup chaser....yum!
Jam, you are not a rotten and lying person. Don't worry, in spite of everything we do, we are always criticized. I take care of my mother, I work a lot, but for the rest of the family I am still an asshole. (because I have animals, I work during the night, I don't live a normal and conventional life). I am trying to write a novel about communication - (that is, about the lack of communication) where the characters speak between them, but they don't really understand what the other one means, and they continue to judge each other according to their personal parameters. The book is all in my head, I have just to find the courage to write it. It will be complicated! I shall have to plunge in the "virtual" head of several characters that have nothing in common with me, think with "their" head, speak "their" language and build a vision of the world which has to be different for each one of these characters. The general idea is that a satellite "catches" one day in the life of a small village, and the satellite does not think, it just "shows" and hears the voices of these people. It's an impartial observer. So it's very difficult because in general the writers write a story and filter the characters according to their experience. I have to cancel my personality to write this book. But this is the way I see the world, now. Lots of people who don't understand each other. With a few exceptions, like this thread. I'm going to eat a night breakfast
rossella you are a wise woman and one whom I respect greatly.....and now am going to eagerly await your novel.....how interesting it sounds. Several friends have told me I should write a book about all of my years in EMS....there are a lot of stories to be told. Maybe I will start to write down my memories and put them all together. Have a wonderful breakfast and now I need to put mil to bed....I see by the camera :) she is falling asleep on the couch.
If you wrote a novel on EMS I would be the first one to read it (you know my passion for this kind of things) and in Italy it would have a great success! I'm eating milk and cookies. My mother does not want to go to bed and I am going to leave her on the chair! What can I do! I am going to bed instead... Nite everybody p.s. Bobbie, the cat you see in the photo (Nino) is my 12 inch long lover!
Here is another story I would like to share with you great caregivers. I hope it will bring some nice thoughts of those that have left us. love ya all cuz
A Strawberry Malt and Three Squeezes, Please! By Larry James
My mother loved strawberry malts. It was always a thrill for me to drop in to see her and surprise her with her favorite refreshment. In their later years, both my mom and dad lived in a life-care retirement center. Partially due to the stress of my mom's Alzheimer's condition, my dad became ill and was no longer able to care for her. They lived in separate rooms yet were together as much as they could be. They loved each other so much. Hand-in-hand, those silver- haired lovers would stroll the halls, visiting their friends, passing out love. They were the "romantics" of the retirement center. When I realized that my mother's condition was worsening, I wrote her a letter of acknowledgment. I told her how much I loved her. I apologized for my orneriness when I was growing up. I told her that she was a great mother and I was proud to be her son. I told her things I had wanted to say for a long time but had been too stubborn to say until I realized she might not be in a position to comprehend the love behind the words. It was a detailed letter of love and of completion. My dad told me she often spent hours reading and re-reading that letter. It saddened me to know that my mom no longer knew I was her son. She would often ask, "Now, what was your name?" and I would proudly reply that my name was Larry and I was her son. She would smile and reach for my hand. I wish I could once again experience that special touch. On one of my visits, I stopped by the local malt shop and bought my mother and father each a strawberry malt. I stopped by her room first, re-introduced myself to her, chatted for a few minutes and then took the other strawberry malt to my dad's room. By the time I returned, she had almost finished the malt. She had lain down on the bed for a rest. She was awake. We both smiled when she saw me come into the room. Without a word, I pulled a chair close to the bed and reached over to hold her hand. It was a divine connection. I silently affirmed my love for her. In the quiet I could feel the magic of our unconditional love, even though I knew she was quite unaware of who was holding her hand. Or was she holding my hand? After about 10 minutes, I felt her give my hand a tender squeeze...three squeezes. They were brief and instantly I knew what she was saying without having to hear any words. The miracle of unconditional love is nurtured by the power of the Divine and our own imagination. I couldn't believe it! Even though she could no longer express her innermost thoughts like she used to, no words were necessary. It was as though she came back for a brief moment. Many years ago when my father and she were dating, she had invented this special way of telling my dad, "I love you!" while they were sitting in church. He would softly give her hand two squeezes to say, "Me too!" I gave her hand two soft squeezes. She turned her head and gave me a loving smile I shall never forget. Her countenance radiated love. I remembered her expressions of unconditional love for my father, our family and her countless friends. Her love continues to profoundly influence my life. Another eight to ten minutes went by. No words were spoken. Suddenly, she turned to me and quietly spoke these words: "It's important to have someone who loves you." I wept. They were tears of joy. I gave her a warm and tender hug, told her how very much I loved her and left. My mother passed away shortly after that. Very few words were spoken that day; those she spoke were words of gold. I will always treasure those special moments.
An Old Lady's Poem.... What do you see, nurses, what do you see? What are you thinking when you're looking at me? A crabby old woman, not very wise, Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes? Who dribbles her food and makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!" Who seems not to notice the things that you do, And forever is losing a stocking or shoe..... Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.... Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me. I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will. I'm a small child of ten ...with a father and mother, Brothers and sisters, who love one another. A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet, Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet. A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap, Remembering the vows that I promised to keep. At twenty-five now, I have young of my own, Who need me to guide and a secure happy home. A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast, Bound to each other with ties that should last. At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone, But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn. At fifty once more, babies play round my knee, Again we know children, my loved one and me. Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead; I look at the future, I shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing young of their own, And I think of the years and the love that I've known. I'm now an old woman ...and nature is cruel; Tis jest to make old age look like a fool. The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart, There is now a stone where I once had a heart. But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells, And now and again my battered heart swells. I remember the joys, I remember the pain, And I'm loving and living life over again. I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast, And accept the stark fact that nothing can last. So open your eyes, nurses, open and see, Not a crabby old woman; look closer, see ME!! ... Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within...... We will one day be there, too! SHARE THIS POEM.........ITS SOMETHING WE ALL NEED TO REMEMBER!!
oh cuz !! very touching ! tears swelled up in my eyes , glad your mom got to enjoy her strawberry malt . my dad s fav vanilla shake , very touching , xoxo
That wasn't my story it was a copy of a file I had kept. My mom is still in the hospital with a very bad inner ear infection. Thanks for the comment though luv ya all cuz
Thank you so very much cuz. Mama loooves strawberry malts, you just set the tone of my day....and set the mission! I want you to know, when we go get our strawberrylicious treat today, she's very likely to ask why (I mean it is cold as hell here ;-) ). I'm going to tell her...Oh, just 'cuz. (((cuz)))
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
" You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end, each of us must work for our own improvement, at the same time, share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful."
It appears you are helping to build a better world. There are certainly glitches involved with that: those who are jealous and want to see failure. Those poor souls are few and far between, like a speck of dust. Hope you're having a great weekend. Hugs, christina
May it be a wonderful day for you!
You & your mom both deserve something good to happen ~
I read all the latest posts of the "crew" and I feel close to all of you, but Jam's is the only one I had to say something about.
Oh yeah another thing: Bobbie, 8 inches is just a vague memory and I keep on my desktop a photo of a very handsome man in bathing suit just to remember that men "existed"!!!!! Shall I ever lay hands on them some more times before it is too late????
Bobbie's cuz: :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Back to the deep freeze here...hope everyone is doing OK where they are...
Like you I never had children so my nephews were my children. They spent just as much time in my house as their parents home. When they got older and had troubles with girls, I was the one that comforted them and helped them move on. I guess that is why I was so crushed when my oldest nephew turned on me and kicked me out of his home on New Year's Eve. I felt betrayed by him and the fact that no one in the family stood up for me. So Jam, yes, I know what you mean about having a gaping hole in your heart from you children's betrayal. On New Years Eve I felt the physical pain of a broken heart. Stay strong and do what you need to do to protect yourself emotionally. Do like Maxine said, delete the emails, don't even read them. Like so many others on here have said, your caregiver family (us) is really the only one that can understand what you are going through. Hang tough my dear!
Diane
Don't worry, in spite of everything we do, we are always criticized. I take care of my mother, I work a lot, but for the rest of the family I am still an asshole. (because I have animals, I work during the night, I don't live a normal and conventional life).
I am trying to write a novel about communication - (that is, about the lack of communication) where the characters speak between them, but they don't really understand what the other one means, and they continue to judge each other according to their personal parameters. The book is all in my head, I have just to find the courage to write it. It will be complicated! I shall have to plunge in the "virtual" head of several characters that have nothing in common with me, think with "their" head, speak "their" language and build a vision of the world which has to be different for each one of these characters. The general idea is that a satellite "catches" one day in the life of a small village, and the satellite does not think, it just "shows" and hears the voices of these people. It's an impartial observer. So it's very difficult because in general the writers write a story and filter the characters according to their experience. I have to cancel my personality to write this book. But this is the way I see the world, now. Lots of people who don't understand each other. With a few exceptions, like this thread.
I'm going to eat a night breakfast
I'm eating milk and cookies. My mother does not want to go to bed and I am going to leave her on the chair! What can I do! I am going to bed instead...
Nite everybody
p.s. Bobbie, the cat you see in the photo (Nino) is my 12 inch long lover!
love,
miz
A Strawberry Malt and Three Squeezes, Please!
By Larry James
My mother loved strawberry malts. It was always a
thrill for me to drop in to see her and surprise her with
her favorite refreshment.
In their later years, both my mom and dad lived in a
life-care retirement center. Partially due to the stress
of my mom's Alzheimer's condition, my dad became ill and
was no longer able to care for her. They lived in separate
rooms yet were together as much as they could be. They
loved each other so much. Hand-in-hand, those silver-
haired lovers would stroll the halls, visiting their
friends, passing out love. They were the "romantics" of
the retirement center.
When I realized that my mother's condition was
worsening, I wrote her a letter of acknowledgment. I told
her how much I loved her. I apologized for my orneriness
when I was growing up. I told her that she was a great
mother and I was proud to be her son. I told her things I
had wanted to say for a long time but had been too stubborn
to say until I realized she might not be in a position to
comprehend the love behind the words. It was a detailed
letter of love and of completion. My dad told me she often
spent hours reading and re-reading that letter.
It saddened me to know that my mom no longer knew I
was her son. She would often ask, "Now, what was your
name?" and I would proudly reply that my name was Larry and
I was her son. She would smile and reach for my hand. I
wish I could once again experience that special touch.
On one of my visits, I stopped by the local malt shop
and bought my mother and father each a strawberry malt. I
stopped by her room first, re-introduced myself to her,
chatted for a few minutes and then took the other
strawberry malt to my dad's room.
By the time I returned, she had almost finished the
malt. She had lain down on the bed for a rest. She was
awake. We both smiled when she saw me come into the room.
Without a word, I pulled a chair close to the bed and
reached over to hold her hand. It was a divine connection.
I silently affirmed my love for her. In the quiet I could
feel the magic of our unconditional love, even though I
knew she was quite unaware of who was holding her hand. Or
was she holding my hand?
After about 10 minutes, I felt her give my hand a
tender squeeze...three squeezes. They were brief and
instantly I knew what she was saying without having to hear
any words.
The miracle of unconditional love is nurtured by the
power of the Divine and our own imagination.
I couldn't believe it! Even though she could no
longer express her innermost thoughts like she used to, no
words were necessary. It was as though she came back for a
brief moment.
Many years ago when my father and she were dating, she
had invented this special way of telling my dad, "I love
you!" while they were sitting in church. He would softly
give her hand two squeezes to say, "Me too!"
I gave her hand two soft squeezes. She turned her
head and gave me a loving smile I shall never forget. Her
countenance radiated love.
I remembered her expressions of unconditional love for
my father, our family and her countless friends. Her love
continues to profoundly influence my life.
Another eight to ten minutes went by. No words were
spoken.
Suddenly, she turned to me and quietly spoke these
words: "It's important to have someone who loves you."
I wept. They were tears of joy. I gave her a warm
and tender hug, told her how very much I loved her and
left.
My mother passed away shortly after that.
Very few words were spoken that day; those she spoke
were words of gold. I will always treasure those special
moments.
love cuz
An Old Lady's Poem....
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice,
"I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten ...with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman ...and nature is cruel;
Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman; look closer, see ME!! ...
Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might
brush
aside without looking at the young soul within...... We will one
day
be
there, too!
SHARE THIS POEM.........ITS SOMETHING WE ALL NEED TO REMEMBER!!
glad your mom got to enjoy her strawberry malt .
my dad s fav vanilla shake ,
very touching , xoxo
luv ya all cuz
Mama loooves strawberry malts, you just set the tone of my day....and set the mission!
I want you to know, when we go get our strawberrylicious treat today, she's very likely to ask why (I mean it is cold as hell here ;-) ).
I'm going to tell her...Oh, just 'cuz.
(((cuz)))