Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
hey Christina! Missed you for a while. Sounds like things are grovvy in Cali! 75 & a happy MOM!!! Wow! I'm envious.!
I have recycled so many cats & fall in love with all of them. They do gang up on me & pull many pranks. Like climbing into linen closets, closing the doors & spooking me when I reach for a towel. Same with lower kitchen cabinets. 2 figured out that game. The dogs just laugh!
hey Angela - Welcome to your new favorite place to vent & scream! Handle stress? Responsibilteis? Grossness???
Man, I wish I knew. My teeth are grinding down more every day & I can't afford the dentist. Those sports night guards are destroyed in my mouth.
You found us! Things won't get easier, but being here offers a unique relief. Read & laugh, cry & complain. We've been known to be a sweet place to be!
Adbrooks, you are asking "the question of the Century"! As far as I am concerned, I live day by day because every day is different from another. Some days I know I am very efficient, some other days I am not efficient at all because I am tired and fed up (Honestly!). I can tell you, too, that at this time almost everyone has gone to bed, so tomorrow you'll certainly find many people who will answer you... Welcome among us!
i am glad i found somewhere where people r going through the same things. i only have my daught to listen to me n i dont like unloading on her she is only 19 and just moved back home.
thanks i know i am late but its the only time i have to myself. just put her down n hubby is still up. its his mom i married knowing it was to the two of them just did not know it woud mean giving up all my freedom n our relationship. she is 87 n actually in better health than i am but just will not do anything fo herself.
Oh, yes, we are going through the same things! You can vent as much as you like. I am sure that you will find the right balancement with your daughter, that is, she will be free to live happily her young life, but in the same time living in that situation will help her to grow up.... And, every now and then, I think you can accept her help!
Angela, tomorrow, when all the "bulk" of the caregivers will wake up, they will read what you have said and you'll see what an enormous wave of support will get to you! You'll see, you will find some minutes, during the day, where you will be able to open this site and get in touch with whoever is on line! I think that Rip and I are the only one who are awake, now!
she is helping me alot right now i just fell n dislocated my elbow n shoulder n i thank god she has moved back home. my mother in law just refuses to hel do anything ex. set the table fold her clothes wash her coffee cup but will let me know when she puts it in te sink. she wants her lunch fixed on a tray n brought to her in her room while she is playing games on her computer. i cant move without pain but she tells her son my husband that i am mean to her if she does not get what she wants. she is not sick just old n does not want to live alone.
I can't remember if this one has been on before but it is funny welcome adbrooks624 I'm just an admirer of this site. My cuzzin bobbie started it last year and I think you will really like the people on this site they are amazing
ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
that's a hard one to answer my mom never made noises when she ate dinner but she groined alot she would watch tv or when she would go to bed I never figure it out why she made groining sounds
We have another friend here who takes care of a MIL that is quite of a handful! I am sure tomorrow she will answer you. I think you and her are heroic! I take care of my mother, which is different of course because she is my mother, and I find it difficult!
If you're still awake & feel like writing, this west coast cat lover is here for you. You can talk all you want here. SAy what you need. Elder care can be so ugly & hurtful. We do our best to lighten the emotional load, huh Italian Sis? *Rossella writes from Italy. She hid that fact when she changed her name to Mex.
A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, They passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now..... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips. Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut. "Now. Tell him you have a headache."
thanks rip still here just lost the page for a min. so whats your story? i am 43 and trying to deal. i love my mother in law. mind you i come with only a 19 year old for baggage. i have lost both my parents n my two sisters n my 13 year old son son i know death well. n i promised my old man i would never make him choose between me n his mom. i would not dream of ever puttin anyone i love i a nursing home. been there i worked in one for 5 years till i fell n broke my collarbone n tore my rotar cuff. i c what goes on on the late shifts. r better yet what does not happen.
Hey, what are you guys doing up so late?...OH wait, it's me who's up late! lol
Welcome Adbrooks! This is a great thread! I'm glad that you've found us! Trust me, everybody here understands! We're all in the same 'boat'! Hopefully one or more of the guys will be able to give you some sound advice on how to handle the situation with your M-I-L. I've had to learn how to do a little creative manouvering with my husband to get him to do more things for himself. Not that I don't want to do things for him, or that I'm being mean, but it helps to keep his mind alert & it encourages him to move around a little more & get more exercise. Does your husband believe his Mom when she tells him that you're being mean to her? If he does, maybe invest in one of the little 'nanny cams' to document that you are taking care of her in a compassionate way. Just a thought. Is it possible that she needs, herself, to feel needed? Could you ask her to help fold your clothes? That's one of the things I did with my husband & it does help both of us. He feels like he's contributing to the household. I did have to learn that he doesn't fold the towels, undies, etc. like I do! lol And they may not get done exactly when I want them done. It's a give & take, just like life! Hope this will help some. This is a good group to brainstorm & come up with different ideas. Great place to vent, get ideas, gain encouragement, laugh, & build friendships! Great life line to stay out of the black hole! I'm glad that you've got your daughter there with you to help!
Jam & Rossella, I'm sorry that your M-I-L & Mother are getting more frail! I know you're in a tough time in your life now, Jam, & must be really missing your Mom! Remember that we're here for you both! Hugs!
Cuz...Love the jokes! I just have one question...WHEN did you guys start reading directions?!?! LOL Hope your Mom is feeling better! And Joyce's, too! Glad that you're here with us! ********************************************************************************
GENTLEMEN, please don't read the next paragraph!!! FOR WOMEN ONLY!!! ********************************************************************************
My Mother (85 yo) is about to drive me NUTS!!! BIG FAT Brazil nuts!!! She has it in her mind that I'm "real bad sick"! She's not listening to me that I'm fine, just going through menopause! (I made the mistake of asking her about her experience with it!...Won't do that again!) She thinks that my high blood pressure medicine is really a blood thinner & is causing the 'problem'. I've been on the same blood pressure med for years & that's not the problem! I know that she loves me & she's just concerned, but please! Today she was raking me over the coals about it & then she said sweetly, 'You're my baby'! I told her (nicely) that her 'baby' is almost 50 & this is just a part of life. Cripes, I just don't need the added stress! Thanks for letting me vent! You guys listen & 'get it'! By the way, things are about the same. I promise I'm ok, just tired! Have started extra iron tabs. Can't reach the doc until mid of next week. Bobbie, gotta try another store tomorrow for the rice...they were out today. Carrot juice is really good with a half of a beet & some apple juice mixed in! YUMMMM! ******************************************************************************** B'da, B'da, B'dats all folks! Love & hugs to you guys...OH mi...LOVE peanut M&M's, too! Peach
It's 3 in the morning. The crabs and nuts are getting their revenge.
I was laughing so hard at the tazer story that the Cat thought it was run around and act like a Heathen time. Cuz! you are something else! love it. please don't change anything. ALL your jokes are great!! sparking nipples omg. How is Joyce's mom? How is your mom? Please tell them both that we all send our salutations.
Hey Adbrooks! Welcome to the Grossed Out Thread!! Vent vent vent. It will save your life! It's so hard. You love the person and think omg, I can't take another second and you do somehow. Being grossed out to the nines doesn't mean you don't love them, it just means you're grossed out to the nines. I am glad you have found us and I hope you decide to hang out with us. I remember the sounds... I did all kinds of things that would involve me not being right there at the table. It comes with forgetting how to eat, literally. They drive you nuts but they're just sick and can't do anything for themselves. Half the time you think they're faking and the other times you can see that they're sick. I just took the position that my mom was sick and therefore I did it all. doesn't make it any easier I know. You like boats?
GP! I love carrot juice with some beet and apple! ooooooooh. sweet to hear that you are still your mom's baby. love it, but then again I'm not the one that's getting 'babied' lol.
man, have I got some heartburn. arg. too much crab. I probably won't even be able to watch Deadliest Catch for awhile. these were Blue Crab, not King crab. Deadliest Crab.
Miz! that was a good one. Crabby and nuts. yup, thas me.
Hey Rip and Rossella! Ya I saw the news story about Reagan and I was very aware when he was in office that something wasn't right. There's tape of Nancy coaching him while cameras were rolling. If course, not remembering came in handy with the Iran Contra situation....
wow. Speaking of Gross: Just hurled. Feel better. Cat's amazed. the human body is incredible. Crabs and nuts not working out? then OUT you go!
going to have some carrot juice myself when I get up in the morning unless I'm up now and then I will have carrot juice later.
AdBrooks! you and christina have the shoulder thang. ow ow. I have the bursitis in the shoulder and that's painful enougn. torn rotator cuff!! ow ow ow.
more later. going to see if I can sleep now. the Cat is on the helm looking out at all of the other cats in the boatyard. They catch them here and get them fixed and feed them well. I bet there's 10 fat happy cats strolling around keeping an eye on the boats. the boat guys take turns: Frank! your turn. see if you can catch that orange tabby. then you see old hardcore frank with a fish head: Heeeere kitty kitty kitty. All these tough men and these sleek well taken care of cats. pretty cool.
wow I do feel better. I'm going to turn in before I work up an appetite.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sounds like things are grovvy in Cali! 75 & a happy MOM!!!
Wow! I'm envious.!
I have recycled so many cats & fall in love with all of them. They do gang up on me & pull many pranks. Like climbing into linen closets, closing the doors & spooking me when I reach for a towel.
Same with lower kitchen cabinets. 2 figured out that game.
The dogs just laugh!
Welcome to your new favorite place to vent & scream!
Handle stress? Responsibilteis? Grossness???
Man, I wish I knew. My teeth are grinding down more every day & I can't afford the dentist. Those sports night guards are destroyed in my mouth.
You found us!
Things won't get easier, but being here offers a unique relief. Read & laugh, cry & complain. We've been known to be a sweet place to be!
I can tell you, too, that at this time almost everyone has gone to bed, so tomorrow you'll certainly find many people who will answer you...
Welcome among us!
welcome adbrooks624 I'm just an admirer of this site. My cuzzin bobbie started it last year and I think you will really like the people on this site they are amazing
ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion
was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I
came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized
Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short
lived, with no long term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat
to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the
device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA
batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however,
that if I pushed the button and pressed it against
a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue
arc of electricity darting back and forth between
the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to
Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her
microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy,
thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that
bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking
on intently (trusting little soul) while I was
reading the directions and thinking that I really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood
moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a
fraction of a second) and then thought better of
it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going
to give this thing to my wife to protect herself
against a mugger, I did want some assurance that
it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top
with my reading glasses perched delicately on the
bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your
assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle
spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your
assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of
water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be
wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device
measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in
circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA
batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to
myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description,
but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with
her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't
do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst
from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all
that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second
burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the
button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION.
WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side
door, picked me up in the recliner, then body
slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and
over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side
in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body
soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under
my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my
legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had
never heard before, clinging to a picture frame
hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an
attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body
flopping all over the living room.
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with
a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when
you zap yourself! You will not let go of that
thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a
violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered
conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was
a relative thing at that point), I collected my
wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the
fireplace.
· The recliner was upside down and about
8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both
nipples were still twitching.
· My face felt like it had been shot up
with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts,
but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of
smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my
head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm
offering a significant reward for their safe
return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my
experience, loved the gift and now regularly
threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being
stupid!!!!
Sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load
Elder care can be so ugly & hurtful. We do our best to lighten the emotional load, huh Italian Sis?
*Rossella writes from Italy. She hid that fact when she changed her name to Mex.
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps..
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.
As they walked through the ape exhibit,
They passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.
He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
"Now..... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell him you have a headache."
Still here?
Had to put Sir in bed ...
If not we will be here for you!
Welcome Adbrooks! This is a great thread! I'm glad that you've found us! Trust me, everybody here understands! We're all in the same 'boat'! Hopefully one or more of the guys will be able to give you some sound advice on how to handle the situation with your M-I-L. I've had to learn how to do a little creative manouvering with my husband to get him to do more things for himself. Not that I don't want to do things for him, or that I'm being mean, but it helps to keep his mind alert & it encourages him to move around a little more & get more exercise. Does your husband believe his Mom when she tells him that you're being mean to her? If he does, maybe invest in one of the little 'nanny cams' to document that you are taking care of her in a compassionate way. Just a thought. Is it possible that she needs, herself, to feel needed? Could you ask her to help fold your clothes? That's one of the things I did with my husband & it does help both of us. He feels like he's contributing to the household. I did have to learn that he doesn't fold the towels, undies, etc. like I do! lol And they may not get done exactly when I want them done. It's a give & take, just like life! Hope this will help some. This is a good group to brainstorm & come up with different ideas. Great place to vent, get ideas, gain encouragement, laugh, & build friendships! Great life line to stay out of the black hole! I'm glad that you've got your daughter there with you to help!
Jam & Rossella, I'm sorry that your M-I-L & Mother are getting more frail! I know you're in a tough time in your life now, Jam, & must be really missing your Mom! Remember that we're here for you both! Hugs!
Christina, hope you're feeling better! Cute jokes!
Cuz...Love the jokes! I just have one question...WHEN did you guys start reading directions?!?! LOL Hope your Mom is feeling better! And Joyce's, too! Glad that you're here with us!
********************************************************************************
GENTLEMEN, please don't read the next paragraph!!! FOR WOMEN ONLY!!!
********************************************************************************
My Mother (85 yo) is about to drive me NUTS!!! BIG FAT Brazil nuts!!! She has it in her mind that I'm "real bad sick"! She's not listening to me that I'm fine, just going through menopause! (I made the mistake of asking her about her experience with it!...Won't do that again!) She thinks that my high blood pressure medicine is really a blood thinner & is causing the 'problem'. I've been on the same blood pressure med for years & that's not the problem! I know that she loves me & she's just concerned, but please! Today she was raking me over the coals about it & then she said sweetly, 'You're my baby'! I told her (nicely) that her 'baby' is almost 50 & this is just a part of life. Cripes, I just don't need the added stress! Thanks for letting me vent! You guys listen & 'get it'! By the way, things are about the same. I promise I'm ok, just tired! Have started extra iron tabs. Can't reach the doc until mid of next week. Bobbie, gotta try another store tomorrow for the rice...they were out today. Carrot juice is really good with a half of a beet & some apple juice mixed in! YUMMMM!
********************************************************************************
B'da, B'da, B'dats all folks!
Love & hugs to you guys...OH mi...LOVE peanut M&M's, too!
Peach
The crabs and nuts are getting their revenge.
I was laughing so hard at the tazer story that the Cat thought it was run around and act like a Heathen time. Cuz! you are something else! love it. please don't change anything. ALL your jokes are great!! sparking nipples omg.
How is Joyce's mom? How is your mom? Please tell them both that we all send our salutations.
Hey Adbrooks! Welcome to the Grossed Out Thread!!
Vent vent vent. It will save your life!
It's so hard. You love the person and think omg, I can't take another second and you do somehow.
Being grossed out to the nines doesn't mean you don't love them, it just means you're grossed out to the nines.
I am glad you have found us and I hope you decide to hang out with us.
I remember the sounds... I did all kinds of things that would involve me not being right there at the table. It comes with forgetting how to eat, literally.
They drive you nuts but they're just sick and can't do anything for themselves. Half the time you think they're faking and the other times you can see that they're sick.
I just took the position that my mom was sick and therefore I did it all. doesn't make it any easier I know.
You like boats?
GP! I love carrot juice with some beet and apple! ooooooooh.
sweet to hear that you are still your mom's baby. love it, but then again I'm not the one that's getting 'babied' lol.
man, have I got some heartburn. arg. too much crab. I probably won't even be able to watch Deadliest Catch for awhile. these were Blue Crab, not King crab. Deadliest Crab.
Miz! that was a good one. Crabby and nuts. yup, thas me.
Hey Rip and Rossella! Ya I saw the news story about Reagan and I was very aware when he was in office that something wasn't right. There's tape of Nancy coaching him while cameras were rolling.
If course, not remembering came in handy with the Iran Contra situation....
wow. Speaking of Gross: Just hurled. Feel better.
Cat's amazed.
the human body is incredible. Crabs and nuts not working out?
then OUT you go!
going to have some carrot juice myself when I get up in the morning unless I'm up now and then I will have carrot juice later.
AdBrooks! you and christina have the shoulder thang. ow ow.
I have the bursitis in the shoulder and that's painful enougn. torn rotator cuff!! ow ow ow.
more later. going to see if I can sleep now.
the Cat is on the helm looking out at all of the other cats in the boatyard. They catch them here and get them fixed and feed them well. I bet there's 10 fat happy cats strolling around keeping an eye on the boats.
the boat guys take turns: Frank! your turn. see if you can catch that orange tabby.
then you see old hardcore frank with a fish head: Heeeere kitty kitty kitty.
All these tough men and these sleek well taken care of cats.
pretty cool.
wow I do feel better. I'm going to turn in before I work up an appetite.
more later,
lovbob