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Yes, Miz, you are right to be close to your friends! And yes, when my brother goes away, he always says he finds mother in good health and good mood! Anyway, he is intelligent enough to understand that it's not her normal condition and he believes me when I tell him that in general things are not so rosy... Jam, I remember very well that your MIL or COL liked shopping so much, that's why I was worried she would learn too well to do shopping online! But, if it is under control, it's okay!
Rossella, I have such wonderful memories of spending time with this friend. She was very good to me as a child. She says she wishes I was her daughter. She never married or had children.
Grossed out crew, I should work, but there is a stone on my heart and I have to take it off in order to be tranquil and serene enough to focus on my work. I think it's not a secret that the latest developments have shocked and disoriented many of us. I see that many disagreable things are being said and people are starting to be fed up and demotivated. I'd like to tell you now how I approached this site, and in particular this thread, how I continued to approach it and how I hope to approach it in the future. We are people so different. So different stories, so different natures, so different experiences. When I read the first posts, last summer, sometimes I was kind of shocked by what some people said, I found them too resentful (honestly), and other times, when I read that some people were glad and honoured to clean their parents poop, it seemed to me exaggerated and even false. Then I understood that I was watching things from "my own" perspective. My mother has been quite good, but not perfect. My family in general, has been quite good but not perfect. Other people on the thread come from warmer families, other peiple come from "colder" families than mine. So I started to understand why some people were so rebel against this caregiving thing, and why other people blessed every single moment they spent with their aged and sick relative. When I understood it, I started to read what people had to say without judging, I just "listened", that's all. Listened without prejudice. And i decided to stay on the thread and write on the thread because I DID NOT FEEL ALONE ANYMORE. Other people, so different from me, WERE IN THE SAME SITUATION. And I felt conforted and supported by thinking that other people had the same thoughts and feelings I had in my worst and/or best moments. And I learned many useful things for me.
That's why I don't understand what this mess is about. It seems to me that people judge each other for what they say, for how they feel, for how they behave. This is not the point, according to me! THIS IS NOT THE REASON WHY WE ARE HERE. If we are a flock of sheep, as someone has said, we are the strangest flock I have ever seen. Every sheep is different than the other, and though for a mysterious and magical reason we succeded to stay together in the last months, anyway! I DON'T WANT THE FLOCK TO GO ASTRAY! It is important for me and I think it is important for many of you. Please think it over! Let's grit our teeth and let's overcome this bad moment!
amen rossella ! well said . hubby s gone to bed and pretty soon my d/h will be on and then bro and sis be on , gotta watch my soaps . then i believe i ll hop on theboat tnite . hope to see u all there . missing yackin with ya all . pa is doing good today . still trying to cough up the mucus only lit bit comes out . where is everybody at ? peachie sounded like shes in the dump like i was yesterday . but am ok now . smile everybody tmr is a brand new day MONDAY ohhh lala , xoxo
hi there jsomebody :-) i didnt want to get online yet cuz my friends all will wanna talk . its almost 9 now so im going to watch my shows , it ll be over at 11 pm few hrs . then i will get on f/b . hope to see ya there . gpa s got a cold now ? maybe mommy will take him to dr and have him cked out ? hope u dont get em . theyre nasty ! ive had sinus pblms for almost a month now . its slowly going away . goodnight you all , sleep tight xoxo
Thank you Rossella! We are all here for the love and support of each other and you have put all of our feelings into words for us. You are such a good writer and a great friend to all of us. Let's move on past this silliness and start having fun again. I for one sure could use a little fun right now. I'm sure Mom has a UTI again and the doctor's office never got back to me on Friday.Now, tomorrow is a holiday, so the office is closed, and Mom is a mess! Then there's that old full moon coming on Wednesday! Mom's got some timing!
I can understand both sides of the feud issue. There is a great deal of negativity on this thread but the whole thing was started about being "Grossed Out" and tired of the situation we were all in individually. For some who have come on they were shocked and offended to here us bad mouth loved ones who needed our care, then they got jumped on sometimes fairly sometime un fairly. But no one has to stay on a thread, you can go to other ones other sites even and meet with people you feel a better connection to. Some blogs are more established than others and it is hard to be new and fit in and find your way. And then to be jumped on makes it just a non issue and others move away. You can't change others into what you want them to be, in life or on a site. If we have the reputation for being bitter, angry, selfish shrews we are also doing our jobs, losing sleep, worn out, caring for loved ones and giving each other support over it here.... The whole jist of this particular blog was "Grossed Out"...People talking about the stress and annoyance of doing things in their care-giving that are well, Gross to them. To some that is seen as disrespectful and unkind to their loved ones. Maybe so, but at least it is here, where there is a place to vent and be supported by others doing the same thing...If that is bad so be it. Maybe it is a negative thread, but there are positives from it. People feel supported and connected to others in a similar situation. Granted it was a mistake to become cliquish and jump on new people but when one feels attacked, one often will attack right back...Also if you like someone you don't want to see them attacked either, some have maybe been too strident in defending others but what else should we do?... It is also too long now to "Read All The Thread" but one can listen a long for a bit and see if it is a place they want to be and choose for themselves to stay or not. As it is it is a blog on line where people talk about the issues of care-giving and in particular its irritations. If this is not for you, you can find another blog that may be more helpful to you, or this blog may be helpful at one time or another and later you may find you don't feel it is what you want anymore, then you can close out that bit of your life and move forward and make connections elsewhere. This blog will probably go on, new people come, old people stay or go and it grows and moves in relation to what people put into it. Like anything else. If it helps go ahead and stay, if it doesn't move on to something new...Not everything is right for everyone at all times...That is the same anywhere in life....
Ok gang I guess I missed something this afternoon. Nope never got my nap.....developed a raging headache that is not completely gone yet. Thank you mom and dad for the migraine legacy.....there is not a person in my family that does not get them.....hate them and I'm out of good drugs. Hubby may be changing jobs....getting out of ER and was offered the opportunity to set up and run a new urgent care. I hope that is what he decides to do....it would be so much better and he would probably only work 3 days a week from 3 pm to 11 pm. The only unsure part is we would have to find our own health insurance and he would have to pay his own malpractice insurance...ouch! It's less money per hour but oh so much less stress. Went down to give col her nighttime meds and she decided she was ready for bed......very unusual for her but changed to dry undies, put jammies on and away she went with a smile on her face! So much easier to do what needs to be done when she is happy. Missing my mom today.....I know it will get better over time....going to go lie down now...hope everyone has a peaceful and restful night. Hugz to all!!!!
Oh Jam, I am so sorry you get migraines. I have another friend who gets them all the time and I know how debilitating they can be. I hope it's gone in the morning. And you know I and others can relate to missing our moms. It's oh so difficult but I believe also it will get better over time.
I got this from a friend and wanted to pass it along. We should all count our blessings and not sweat the small stuff. Burned Biscuits-author unknown
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides – a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."
So Please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine. And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched your life.
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."
Subject: wrapping paper I received this from a friend who had a choice to make. It said that I had a choice to make too. I've chosen. Now it's your turn to choose. The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5 year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and said, "This is for you, Mummy."
The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?"
She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Mummy, it's not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full." The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger. An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary Kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been a given Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold. You now have two choices: 1. Pass this on to your friends, or 2. Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice No. 1. Friends are like angels who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. Luv cuz
Cuz, thank you! We really needed something of this kind! Jen, I agree on the fact that if you don't like it here and you want to move, you are free to do so. But going away and attacking and saying terrible things about the people that are here on another part of the site, this is not fair.This is destructive and it does not help anyone.
And, This is the last thing I want to say on the subject, if you "find" a group and you don't like it, you go away, it's fine. If you "stay" in a group for months and months, it becomes your group, you talk a lot about your life, and you get to know the people that are in this group quite well, and then, when there are problems, you decide to go away, it's not fine. You should fight a little bit for something that you felt as "yours" and gave you a lot of support and help during that time. Abandoning the boat that sinks is not the way I like to live my life. And that's all, I have said what I had to say, we are grown up people, anyone can do what he likes.
There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by and says, "What do you think you're doing?" The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, so I'm waiting for my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor."
I took a break from being raked over the coals and spent the entire day going back and forth on my dingy and then watching old Jack Benny shows. Wal Mart has videos of Jack Benny, (39 episodes for 2.50!!) and Johnny Carson (2.50) for stupid cheap and I sat here yesterday laughing my butt off. Man, go to your Wal Mart and get these DVDs and LAUGH!! wheeeeeeewwwww. sides hurt. last dinghy ride was me going out into the river with a big old flood tide, getting about a half mile away from where the boat is and the dinghy motor quits and I row back against the current. Good to know I still got it.
OK, I caught up on the thread and here's the deal as I see it.
I started this thing because I knew I wasn't alone. I didn't expect to be read or loved by all. Didn't ever think I was important enough to be talked about if you weren't talking TO me.
Was wonderfully surprised by the love and support i recieved and I worked HARD to return that love and support to folks that were here from before my mom died and new folks who have found themselves in the same place as I was and are overwhelmed.
Am sorrowfully surprised on the amount of venom spewed on my behalf. don't these 2 fools have a life? I know I do. Takes a lot of time and energy to do that. Why don't they use that same time and energy to help other caregivers or just get off the site and get a job or something.
As far as the revisionist history is concerned, as in 'I didn't call her Hitler..." I don't know if these 2 women understand that what they have written is on the web FOREVER so we can go back and see the exact quotes and aside from being just plain mean and invented, you both wrote nasty nasty stuff about so many people here and it's in black and white so you can't deny it although you think you can. this isn't a conversation where you can go: oh, I didn't say that. oh yes you both did and you both are supremely guilty of slander. Nice job.
My email box is full with people wanting to know if I am going to defend myself, am I going to leave, don't let them 'win', etc. 'You are here to keep us out of the dark hole, etc.'
No. I am not here to keep anyone out of the dark hole at the cost of my peace of mind. I am here for you; the boat is here for you and something tells me that there aren't a lot of people out there that are making any offers near that one, but not at the cost of my peace of mind.
We all row together or get off the boat.
No. I am NOT going to leave. 2 spiteful hags are not going to sink the boat. When a boat is having a problem with crew like this one was, the Captain gets rid of what is causing the problem. In this case, one problem was eliminated and another problem eliminated itself but keeps boiling like sewage in sunlight and trying to stink up the place.
Yup, I started this thread and I am proud of most of the people on it. I know up close and personal the challenges you are facing and how hard it really is.
I will defend myself on this count: There is no prescription drug abuse or drug abuse or drinking involved. I have a couple glasses of wine and I am sick. Can't do it. few beers now and again and there you go. Prescription drugs? Well, there's Prozac and Xanax which I think so many of us use/used because when we get into caregiving it IS depressing and feels like there is no end in sight so I got help and let me tell you it WORKS!! So, if you are caregiving and depressed, get some of this stuff because it will really help you out. It did me. I did want to address that because of the many out there that need to take something like that to keep from killing themselves.
I haven't read any more of the stuff that has been forwarded to me because there's no point in it. Crew: don't forward me any more of that stuff. Hopefully you have noticed that if you forward them a hug you get back more venom about me and the thread.
think of the new caregivers that are finding this thread, not this site, bit this thread on Google, etc and the help they need. there is no time for the delusions of the damned.
One more thing: for the record. I believe in God. I don't believe in religion because of the hate it fosters. The crap we're ALL going through is a case in point. Good Christians all. oh puleeze
Well, Happy Martin Luther King Day and if I offended anyone I meant it.
Good morning Captain!!! I want some of that coffee you just had! Wow! Rowing back against the tide. You are one tough cookie! I am ready to get back to the business of helping each other, so let's get with it and all have a great care giving day!!!
Good Morning Everyone, I'm feeling low energy/depressed. I got plenty of sleep so that's not it. Really feeling sad about my mom. Someone told me I will have a good day and then several bad days or something like that. I am sorry I can't remember who said it. I think seeing my friend in the nursing home in her hospital gown and everything brought it back to me. It's okay though. I will continue to go see her of course. She needs me. No family close by. All the drama on here has gotten me down too. I so hope it passes soon and we can get on with things. It's much too important to lose such a good thing. K, gonna go do some laundry. I'll be back later. Love yous!!
well said bobbie . time to move on and start a new . just too bad in some things but life goes on and keep a going . druggie , well hell im one of em :-) its all good . beers all good too . dont forget margaritta too . good morning u all . pa woke me up every 2 hrs needing to go pee . caught him once sittin straight up in bed about ready to try get in the wheelchair . told him if he s on the floor he be layin there all day cuz i have noo one here to help me get him up . that opened his eyes , then he tried to pull a fast one in the bathroom . nanana pa u be layin here too ! act like he s cripple . not cripple enuff to pull himself up of the bed and now cripple in bathroom . he s wearing me out . i dont know if the trash man comes aroud today ? mlk day . i know no mail but trash ? i guess i beter be safe to haul all the stinkin trash out by the road . wish i had bobbie s coffee to help me zoom zoom / ah i guess i ll take drugs then . :-) xoxoxo
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And yes, when my brother goes away, he always says he finds mother in good health and good mood! Anyway, he is intelligent enough to understand that it's not her normal condition and he believes me when I tell him that in general things are not so rosy...
Jam, I remember very well that your MIL or COL liked shopping so much, that's why I was worried she would learn too well to do shopping online! But, if it is under control, it's okay!
I should work, but there is a stone on my heart and I have to take it off in order to be tranquil and serene enough to focus on my work.
I think it's not a secret that the latest developments have shocked and disoriented many of us. I see that many disagreable things are being said and people are starting to be fed up and demotivated.
I'd like to tell you now how I approached this site, and in particular this thread, how I continued to approach it and how I hope to approach it in the future.
We are people so different. So different stories, so different natures, so different experiences. When I read the first posts, last summer, sometimes I was kind of shocked by what some people said, I found them too resentful (honestly), and other times, when I read that some people were glad and honoured to clean their parents poop, it seemed to me exaggerated and even false. Then I understood that I was watching things from "my own" perspective. My mother has been quite good, but not perfect. My family in general, has been quite good but not perfect. Other people on the thread come from warmer families, other peiple come from "colder" families than mine. So I started to understand why some people were so rebel against this caregiving thing, and why other people blessed every single moment they spent with their aged and sick relative. When I understood it, I started to read what people had to say without judging, I just "listened", that's all. Listened without prejudice. And i decided to stay on the thread and write on the thread because I DID NOT FEEL ALONE ANYMORE. Other people, so different from me, WERE IN THE SAME SITUATION. And I felt conforted and supported by thinking that other people had the same thoughts and feelings I had in my worst and/or best moments. And I learned many useful things for me.
That's why I don't understand what this mess is about. It seems to me that people judge each other for what they say, for how they feel, for how they behave.
This is not the point, according to me! THIS IS NOT THE REASON WHY WE ARE HERE.
If we are a flock of sheep, as someone has said, we are the strangest flock I have ever seen. Every sheep is different than the other, and though for a mysterious and magical reason we succeded to stay together in the last months, anyway!
I DON'T WANT THE FLOCK TO GO ASTRAY!
It is important for me and I think it is important for many of you.
Please think it over!
Let's grit our teeth and let's overcome this bad moment!
hubby s gone to bed and pretty soon my d/h will be on and then bro and sis be on , gotta watch my soaps . then i believe i ll hop on theboat tnite . hope to see u all there . missing yackin with ya all .
pa is doing good today . still trying to cough up the mucus only lit bit comes out .
where is everybody at ? peachie sounded like shes in the dump like i was yesterday . but am ok now .
smile everybody tmr is a brand new day MONDAY ohhh lala , xoxo
At least it is coming out that is healing....
Grandpa has a cold now....I spray oust like nobodies business.
i didnt want to get online yet cuz my friends all will wanna talk . its almost 9 now so im going to watch my shows , it ll be over at 11 pm few hrs . then i will get on f/b . hope to see ya there .
gpa s got a cold now ? maybe mommy will take him to dr and have him cked out ? hope u dont get em . theyre nasty ! ive had sinus pblms for almost a month now . its slowly going away . goodnight you all , sleep tight xoxo
Let's move on past this silliness and start having fun again. I for one sure could use a little fun right now.
I'm sure Mom has a UTI again and the doctor's office never got back to me on Friday.Now, tomorrow is a holiday, so the office is closed, and Mom is a mess! Then there's that old full moon coming on Wednesday! Mom's got some timing!
But no one has to stay on a thread, you can go to other ones other sites even and meet with people you feel a better connection to. Some blogs are more established than others and it is hard to be new and fit in and find your way. And then to be jumped on makes it just a non issue and others move away. You can't change others into what you want them to be, in life or on a site. If we have the reputation for being bitter, angry, selfish shrews we are also doing our jobs, losing sleep, worn out, caring for loved ones and giving each other support over it here.... The whole jist of this particular blog was "Grossed Out"...People talking about the stress and annoyance of doing things in their care-giving that are well, Gross to them. To some that is seen as disrespectful and unkind to their loved ones. Maybe so, but at least it is here, where there is a place to vent and be supported by others doing the same thing...If that is bad so be it. Maybe it is a negative thread, but there are positives from it. People feel supported and connected to others in a similar situation.
Granted it was a mistake to become cliquish and jump on new people but when one feels attacked, one often will attack right back...Also if you like someone you don't want to see them attacked either, some have maybe been too strident in defending others but what else should we do?...
It is also too long now to "Read All The Thread" but one can listen a long for a bit and see if it is a place they want to be and choose for themselves to stay or not. As it is it is a blog on line where people talk about the issues of care-giving and in particular its irritations. If this is not for you, you can find another blog that may be more helpful to you, or this blog may be helpful at one time or another and later you may find you don't feel it is what you want anymore, then you can close out that bit of your life and move forward and make connections elsewhere. This blog will probably go on, new people come, old people stay or go and it grows and moves in relation to what people put into it. Like anything else. If it helps go ahead and stay, if it doesn't move on to something new...Not everything is right for everyone at all times...That is the same anywhere in life....
Hubby may be changing jobs....getting out of ER and was offered the opportunity to set up and run a new urgent care. I hope that is what he decides to do....it would be so much better and he would probably only work 3 days a week from 3 pm to 11 pm. The only unsure part is we would have to find our own health insurance and he would have to pay his own malpractice insurance...ouch! It's less money per hour but oh so much less stress.
Went down to give col her nighttime meds and she decided she was ready for bed......very unusual for her but changed to dry undies, put jammies on and away she went with a smile on her face! So much easier to do what needs to be done when she is happy. Missing my mom today.....I know it will get better over time....going to go lie down now...hope everyone has a peaceful and restful night. Hugz to all!!!!
love,
miz
I got this from a friend and wanted to pass it along. We should all count our blessings and not sweat the small stuff.
Burned Biscuits-author unknown
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every
now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made
breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago,
my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in
front of my dad I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all
my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my
day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I
do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat
every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom
apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget
what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he
really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,
"Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And
besides – a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the
best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just
like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that
learning to accept each other’s faults - and choosing to celebrate each
others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a
healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the
good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet
of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give
you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the
base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or
friendship!
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep
it in your own."
So Please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine.
And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched your life.
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some
kind of battle.
"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."
I received this from a friend who had a choice to make. It said that I had a choice to make too. I've chosen. Now it's your turn to choose.
The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5 year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive wrapping paper.
Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her
mother the next morning and said, "This is for you, Mummy."
The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but
her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was
empty. She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. "Don't you know,
young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be
something inside the package?"
She had tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Mummy, it's not empty!
I blew kisses into it until it was full."
The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms
around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger.
An accident took the life of the child only a short time later,
and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for
all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced
difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary
Kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings,
have been a given Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses
from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious
possession anyone could hold.
You now have two choices:
1. Pass this on to your friends, or
2. Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart.
As you can see, I took choice No. 1. Friends are like angels
who lift us to our feet, when our wings have trouble remembering
how to fly.
Luv cuz
Jen, I agree on the fact that if you don't like it here and you want to move, you are free to do so. But going away and attacking and saying terrible things about the people that are here on another part of the site, this is not fair.This is destructive and it does not help anyone.
If you "stay" in a group for months and months, it becomes your group, you talk a lot about your life, and you get to know the people that are in this group quite well, and then, when there are problems, you decide to go away, it's not fine. You should fight a little bit for something that you felt as "yours" and gave you a lot of support and help during that time. Abandoning the boat that sinks is not the way I like to live my life.
And that's all, I have said what I had to say, we are grown up people, anyone can do what he likes.
I took a break from being raked over the coals and spent the entire day going back and forth on my dingy and then watching old Jack Benny shows.
Wal Mart has videos of Jack Benny, (39 episodes for 2.50!!) and Johnny Carson (2.50) for stupid cheap and I sat here yesterday laughing my butt off.
Man, go to your Wal Mart and get these DVDs and LAUGH!!
wheeeeeeewwwww. sides hurt.
last dinghy ride was me going out into the river with a big old flood tide, getting about a half mile away from where the boat is and the dinghy motor quits and I row back against the current.
Good to know I still got it.
OK, I caught up on the thread and here's the deal as I see it.
I started this thing because I knew I wasn't alone.
I didn't expect to be read or loved by all. Didn't ever think I was important enough to be talked about if you weren't talking TO me.
Was wonderfully surprised by the love and support i recieved and I worked HARD to return that love and support to folks that were here from before my mom died and new folks who have found themselves in the same place as I was and are overwhelmed.
Am sorrowfully surprised on the amount of venom spewed on my behalf. don't these 2 fools have a life? I know I do.
Takes a lot of time and energy to do that.
Why don't they use that same time and energy to help other caregivers or just get off the site and get a job or something.
As far as the revisionist history is concerned, as in 'I didn't call her Hitler..." I don't know if these 2 women understand that what they have written is on the web FOREVER so we can go back and see the exact quotes and aside from being just plain mean and invented, you both wrote nasty nasty stuff about so many people here and it's in black and white so you can't deny it although you think you can.
this isn't a conversation where you can go: oh, I didn't say that.
oh yes you both did and you both are supremely guilty of slander. Nice job.
My email box is full with people wanting to know if I am going to defend myself, am I going to leave, don't let them 'win', etc. 'You are here to keep us out of the dark hole, etc.'
No. I am not here to keep anyone out of the dark hole at the cost of my peace of mind. I am here for you; the boat is here for you and something tells me that there aren't a lot of people out there that are making any offers near that one, but not at the cost of my peace of mind.
We all row together or get off the boat.
No. I am NOT going to leave. 2 spiteful hags are not going to sink the boat. When a boat is having a problem with crew like this one was, the Captain gets rid of what is causing the problem. In this case, one problem was eliminated and another problem eliminated itself but keeps boiling like sewage in sunlight and trying to stink up the place.
Yup, I started this thread and I am proud of most of the people on it. I know up close and personal the challenges you are facing and how hard it really is.
I will defend myself on this count:
There is no prescription drug abuse or drug abuse or drinking involved. I have a couple glasses of wine and I am sick. Can't do it. few beers now and again and there you go.
Prescription drugs? Well, there's Prozac and Xanax which I think so many of us use/used because when we get into caregiving it IS depressing and feels like there is no end in sight so I got help and let me tell you it WORKS!!
So, if you are caregiving and depressed, get some of this stuff because it will really help you out. It did me.
I did want to address that because of the many out there that need to take something like that to keep from killing themselves.
I haven't read any more of the stuff that has been forwarded to me because there's no point in it.
Crew: don't forward me any more of that stuff. Hopefully you have noticed that if you forward them a hug you get back more venom about me and the thread.
think of the new caregivers that are finding this thread, not this site, bit this thread on Google, etc and the help they need. there is no time for the delusions of the damned.
One more thing: for the record.
I believe in God. I don't believe in religion because of the hate it fosters. The crap we're ALL going through is a case in point.
Good Christians all. oh puleeze
Well, Happy Martin Luther King Day and if I offended anyone I meant it.
lovbob
Wow! Rowing back against the tide. You are one tough cookie!
I am ready to get back to the business of helping each other, so let's get with it and all have a great care giving day!!!
miz
druggie , well hell im one of em :-) its all good . beers all good too . dont forget margaritta too .
good morning u all . pa woke me up every 2 hrs needing to go pee . caught him once sittin straight up in bed about ready to try get in the wheelchair . told him if he s on the floor he be layin there all day cuz i have noo one here to help me get him up . that opened his eyes , then he tried to pull a fast one in the bathroom . nanana pa u be layin here too ! act like he s cripple . not cripple enuff to pull himself up of the bed and now cripple in bathroom . he s wearing me out .
i dont know if the trash man comes aroud today ? mlk day . i know no mail but trash ? i guess i beter be safe to haul all the stinkin trash out by the road . wish i had bobbie s coffee to help me zoom zoom / ah i guess i ll take drugs then . :-)
xoxoxo