Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Hey kuli
I have had the same pacemaker since 1979. It is nuclear powered and the dr has no idea how long it will last. The wife says if I start glowing green she will just hose me down till I cool off

You are an illegal weapon, Cuz!

Never thought of it that way

RIP, Rosella and Cuz - thanks for your support, your encouragement, your understanding. Thanks for listening to my venting. As I sit here with tears running down my cheeks, you have no idea how much it means to me to have someone, just one person in this world, who truly understands my frustrations, my feelings, my depression, as all of you who live this with me day to day. Thanks for everything. Good night and love to all, Kuli

The Gift


A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next
door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,
career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear
across the country in pursuit of his dreams.
There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about
the past and often no time to spend with those important to him. He
was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night."
The funeral is Wednesday."

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat
quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought
of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you
were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over "his side of the fence" as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this
business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me
things he thought were important ... Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his
hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no
children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like
crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.
The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories.
Every picture, every piece of furniture ... Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box? " Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I
must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever
tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack
remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I
better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home
from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature
required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post
office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old
and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his
attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope.

Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack
Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was
taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack
carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most ... was ... my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and
cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his
assistant asked. "I need some time to spend with my son," he said.
"Oh, by the way, Janet ... thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the
moments that take our breath away,"

Send this letter to all the people you care about, if you do so, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective
on life, ... for the better.

To everyone I sent this to, "Thanks for your time"

You're a Keeper


I grew up with practical parents -- a Mother, God love her, who washed aluminium foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it...

A Father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, dishtowel in the other.

It was the time for fixing things -- a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy.

All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful.

Waste meant aff luence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

But then my Mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any 'more.'

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return.

So ... while we have it ... it's best we love it ..... and care for it ..... and fix it when it's broken.....and heal it when it's sick.

This is true ..... for marriage ..... and old cars ..... and children with bad report cards ..... and dogs with bad hips . and aging parents ..... and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep.

Like a best friend that moved away -- or -- a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special.....and so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to those people that are "keepers" in your life.

Thanks, Cuz, not only for your time but for the words of wisdom and the jokes that bring a smile to my face when there is so little in my life that makes me smile - Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

The following is an actual question given on
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is. of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well!

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and
heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First. we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate that
souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion you will go
to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over?

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year. "...that it will be a cold
day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
will not freeze over."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Have they ever done a study on when pigs fly?

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little Johnny
seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the
week his mother noticed him lying down as though he
were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I
think I'm going to have a wife."

Sorry, Cuz, I'm really not trying to be a smart ass.... Just a thought

I have looked in all my files and can't find one on pigs flying. There has got to be one some where you'd think???????????

Cuz - I have sent some of your jokes to other friends in the past week and they, too, have had a laugh or two or three because of them. I hope you know how much joy you bring to life with your jokes! Thanks for sharing

You guys have a good night. My arms and back are killing me tonight. I shoveled over 12" of snow off the roof and deck today. Took me about 4 hours. Going to take another hot shower and call it a night. Temperature was 6 above when I started. It got up to 15 but now is back down to around the 6 mark again

Sorry you had to shovel so much snow. We were 5-15 below zero with wind chills today. But the plus was no measurable snow. Have had a few friends have bad falls because of the ice in the past few day though.

I'm glad I can bring some happyness into you caregivers life. I'm just a loyal reader of this post since my cousin bobbie321 brought it to my attention. I thank you all for doing what you are doing.
luv ya Cuz

What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up!

MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language.

Name the pig's favorite Shakespeare play. Hamlet.

Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly? They squealed on each other.

What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? "That's the end of me!"

What do hip pigs call their ladies? Fine swine.

What do pigs drive? Pig-up trucks!

What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs? A pig tail!

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles? Rub him with oinkment.

What is a pigs favourite ballet? Swine Lake!

What position does the pig play in football? Loinback.

Where did the piglets study their ABC's? At a school for higher loining.

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy? He loved to sing, "Oinkers Aweight"

Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine!

Good Morning One and All.

There are some really awesome posts and jokes on here. One of cuz's stories gave me the chills. Peach, love the pig jokes!! A very nice way to start my day.

Speaking of that, I slept in until 8 o'clock this morning!! I couldn't believe it!! Unheard of!! Feel a little woozy like I slept too much. Just can't win.

I sent one thank you note out yesterday. It was to my mom's hair guy. He was always so kind to us and very patient when I would have to cancel appointments because Mom wasn't up to going or did not want to. He would help me get Mom inside the shop and then out to the car when she was done. What a sweet man. :)

There is an Illinois game in less than an hour. We're playing the #1 team in the country and no, Peachie, it's not Georgia. ;)

It's still really cold here. Can't wait for those warm Florida/Georgia temperatures. I probably won't want to leave.

Captain, please check in. And Pirate and others who we haven't seen for awhile.

love,
miz

Hi everyone, Went out for mexican food last night with mom , neighbor with alz, and her 27 yo caregiver. We're quiet a sight getting into a resturant, but hey, we pay the bill, so who cares. I didn't have a marguerita, just a cervesa. Mom ate everything on her plate. She's still sleeping. Miz, hope your team wins the bball game.
ssk

Thanks, sskape!! :))

My Mom has had a potty chair by her bed for several yrs. As of late she has startied falling at night when getting up. So... I talked with Mom and asked her tp PLEASE PLEASE call me and let me help her, I even bought several bells for her to ring. She absolutely REFUSES to let me know. After last fall I removed potty chair and explained I needed to keep her as safe posssible and she must call me. She didn't and when I would peek in last night she always was sleeping soundly. This morning when I went to wake her, she and the bed were soaked.
When I asked why se won't call for me she said she didn't want to be waited on, but she doesn't mind it at all other times. She was fully aware of what she did. Why????

chillout I assume mom has some type of mental status changes...dementia, perhaps Alzheimer's? What you are experiencing is a normal part of what is going on. Please save your breath, talking, pleading, asking, discussing, at a certain point nothing you say will make a difference as to what happens. I care for my mil and have told her repeatedly to let me know when she needs dry underwear on and a new pad in the back; have to pad her tailbone because of healed decub, but mostly for the fact that she will not get up off her butt and move around. She claims kleenex makes it better and I explain every day that what feels better is the fact that when she got up to get kleenex the blood starting moving and her butt isn't numb anymore. Make a difference? Absolutely not. She says I don't have to help her change.....I guarantee that when I go to give her a bath shortly her depends will be soaking wet, foul-smelling with kleenex shreds everywhere.....which the dog has taken to stealing and eating when it drops out onto the floor, before I can get to it......sooooo, I know it's frustrating and a difficult thing to do, but Mom probably has no idea she wets herself at night, even though you may feel she knows what she is doing and your routine may become just changing her every morning. My routine is "are we wet or dry? Dry, are you sure? Well, I think I am.....well let's go check for sure". Soaked every time.........There are lots of wonderful caregivers here that can give you other points of view and offer suggestions on what worked or works with them. Hang in there.....we are here when you need to talk or vent!

GP I agree with you for ignoring them nothing drives an argementive person more is someone wno will not argue back-learned that with my husband I would just walk away but when he really got on my nerves I would start a small fight so he would be so mad he wouls do things for himself and leave me alone for a few blessed hours. Cuz you really brighten up my day and the gift was priceless,

How do I keep her from soaking the bed? She wears depends, but she still managed to soak the bed. She told me the night of the incident....
"SHE WOULD JUST WET THE BED THEN". She did a great job. LOL!!!
Since this is a new thing I'm not sure what to do. What up every couple of hours and get her to go to the bathroom, thicker depends,what?

welcome chillout .
my dad wets the bed every night . i use depend and throw away padding so his bed would stay dry , sometimes it gets wet ,
sometimes dad would say i have to pee and he makes it to the bathroom . sometimes i ask him if he need to go bathroom , he says no . but i ck anyway and hes soppy wet .
sometimes he tries to get out of the bed to go to the bathoom and ends up fallin . its normal cuz when theyre sound asleep they wake up and forgets that they can not walk and he goes for it and wham hes down .
for some reason they pee more at night than during the day .
just have to deal with it . id love to see if somebody has a better way to deal with it but i honestly dont think there is ,
just wake up in the morning and go enjoy ur mom and her wet briefs and dry her up . then everything be a ok . :-)

Happy Saturday Crew!
I just got back to the boat after walking to the bookstore, sailor's store and the supermarket where I got the fixings for a nice roast beef sandwich.

Welcome Chillout! Those Chux, or disposable padding for under the butt are a Godsend. They will save you time from laundry.
Ilearned that with my mom I would put her on the pot right before bed and then we used the extra absorbent depends or whatever brand you get and the disposable pads. Most of the time the sheets would be dry and there you go.
Like Jam said, there's no asking or telling them to do anything because that part is gone. I would give mom breakfast and then pop her on the pot about 20 to 30 minutes after she ate to take care of her morning business.
It's VERY frustrating so vent vent vent to keep yourself sane.
You can do it!!
Like Linda says, enjoy your mom and just figure out what her body's schedule is to try and minimize your workload and keep coming back to see us here and let us know how you're doing.
Good group of people here!

Hey Everybody!
Hey Miz! Jam! ssk!
Where is Pirate these days?

Crew Call!!

Great jokes last night btw!!!

lovbob

Hello, I'm just here, haven't read anything. Hi chillout!!-you've got experts talking to you--Linda and Bobbie!! don;t know who else is here. gotta read, catch up, I'm also diggin in the yard in california, so back and forth. you know. Love you guys! See you in a bit!!!
Hugs, chrisitina xoxo

chillout, when my mom was still around I would put two Kroger brand overnight depends on her, then her jammies, then a thick robe and I would put waterproof pads on the sheets. The pads on the sheets were not the disposable kind although those sound good. I would wash the pads when needed in the washer and added bleach. Generally, the bed stayed dry with this routine. It got to the point that I really did not want Mom to get up by herself to go to the bathroom and I took medicine that made me sleep pretty much through the night. My saving grace was that Mom cooperated with me putting all of this on her at bed. She didn't use much cover cause she was bundled up in her jammies and robe. Mostly just a blanket for her legs and footsie. I hope this helps.

love,
miz

Those Kroger brand Depends (the night time ones) are really great. I used one on her during the day and two at night and they are cheaper than regular brand Depends. BTW, I love your nickname, chillout.