Follow
Share
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
chillout, I forgot to say in my last post that they do make plastic pants to put on over the Depends (like for babies but in adult size.) That might be worth a try.
(1)
Report

Thanks everyone!!!!!! So good to not feel so alone in this.
(3)
Report

You are definitely not alone in this, chill. I don't know what I would have done without this thread and the wonderful caregivers and former caregivers on it.

miz
(2)
Report

My team lost. Slept a couple hours and still feel pretty low. I was walking down the hall and saw a sweatshirt tie thingie and momentarily worried about it tripping Mom of something. Worried about where we're gonna live. We need a retired caregivers home place or something. ;) I'm thankful for all of yous. Hubby and I are gonna finish a movie and then watch Sherlock Holmes. I wanna get my mind off of everything and that's a good way to do it. See yous later.

love,
miz
(2)
Report

I meant or not of. I hate when I do that.
(0)
Report

Note to self. Do NOT take mom out for Mexican food. What goes in one end must come out the other, phew phew gross gross
(1)
Report

My goodness, I am soooooo happy I stumbled accross this!!!
While I realize that there are others in my situation, being able to connect feels GREAT!!!! I am pretty isolated as I'm sure others are.
(5)
Report

Hey Girls--Chill--you're a sweetheart! you fit right in with Miz and Ssk:) we just took my Mother off bladder med (detrol) because it can CAUSE dementia/like symptoms. Isn't that great? Still haven't seen a pattern with her habits yet. She is 93 and very AR and proper, so must get up several times a night to pee.
Miz, I'm sorry about your team:( hug hug. we have a Jets maniac coming over tomorrow who is LOUD and we hope the Jets will win. He'll be noisy either way.
Sue:)We're going out for my favorite Mexican food. Another friend of ours manages popular restaurant Newport! Fantastico. Mole chicken es mi mejor, and a margarita. Long wait...
Hi to Rosella later, Jam, Peach, THE CAPTAIN, and where is PirateQueen--we miss her? Truecolors, Linda, Jen, KULLI:))the famous CUZ and his jokes of renown!! Love you lots and I'll check back later. Funny couple of days with Mother and no caregivers--up and down and around, and I need this night out with Hubby. Been sick and on meds, so a little dinghy, and forgetting some words. HA! Goes with the territory! Have a good evening, Peace, Hugs, christina
(1)
Report

Yesterday a friend of mine called and she said she wanted to come visit me. I had a translation to do, I worked in the night and I finished at 9, this morning. I sent the translation by e-mail and then I realized my room was a complete mess, and the rest of the house too. So I started to clean the room at supersonic speed. At 10.30 one of the ladies who helps with my mother arrived and she started to clean the house inside at a supersonic speed. I got dressed and zoom zoom went outside and cleaned the patios, and kicked everything I found in the garden under some bushes. Simonetta (the helper) and I stumbled upon each other, each one with her broom and rag. My mother choose this morning to wake up very dirty and so we had to supersonically clean her. At noon, i heard my friend's car in the garden, Simonetta took the drying rack which was in front of the stove and threw it with a baseball bat (well, I am exaggerating a little bit here) in another room. So the house and the garden looked perfectly clean and tidy. and my mother was nicely sat in her chair, just at the last second! And my friend said: "What a cute house!" and SImonetta and I collapsed in the kitchen saying "We need a cup of coffee!"
Gosh I think we caregivers we have developed superpowers.
(5)
Report

Forget the coffee, I would have said where is the Vodka lol lol I have been in that situation lol
(2)
Report

Yeah, Angie. Do you know these women who spend their days on a couch, reading "Vanity Fair" and yawning, and as their house is always perfectly clean because they have 3 people who keep it clean, their friends can go visit them anytime? Well we are not these women!
(1)
Report

You are so right!!! lol We are a breed of our own for sure. The best!!!!!!!
(0)
Report

The Cardiologist's Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral......... I'm a gynecologist."

The proctologist fainted.
(2)
Report

Witticisms of Superior Intelligence
It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.



You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.


We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?





The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.

A fool and his money
can throw one heck of a party.

when blondes have more fun do they know it?



Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you..

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name..

One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:

At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population

You know why a banana is like a politician?
When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten..
I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.
(3)
Report

rossella - i do the same thing and i thought well that didnt take long . lol .
angi- im slurpin on bud ice beer . calm me down , whew !
had a lit fuss with hubby , made up before he went to bed , cant go to bed mad . its not good for you .
pa s in bed , he started bleeding again , its lighting up some now , makes me sad when i see blood , thinkin . is this it ?
just breaks my heart ,
ah its after midnight and i better go get some sleep ,
have a happy sunday you all . xoxox
(2)
Report

Love you Linda. You are an angel and a good daughter.

Rossella! 9100!! MORE Boat time!!

Cuz! great jokes/posts! say hi to your mom for me.

Angie! good to see you!
And everybody I miss. What's up Ted? Pirate?
i love all you guys.
Let's have a happy sunday like Linda said.

I'm cold on this boat. Boat colder out of the water. wearing blanket looking like old squaw.

lovbob
(1)
Report

Bobbie, I don't like that we're all warm & you're cold!

Can you go to Wally World tomorrow & get an electric blanket?

Until then, can you go out on the deck & call "Here kitty, kitty" & bring a few more purring heaters onboard? I know you really can't, just trying to brainstorm to get you warm!

If you have uncooked rice, put it in a pillow case & heat in the microwave. Put a rubberband around the opening & snuggle up with that. It'll work for a little while. Reheat when it cools.

If you have whole, raw potatoes, bake a couple & put one in each jacket pocket. That will help to keep your hands warm.

I'll keep thinking! Don't want you to get sick!!!
(3)
Report

How awful for you. I would put your toothbrush away where only you can find it, so it doesn't happen again.
(0)
Report

Hey CC!
Welcome to the thread! The toothbrush thing happened almost a year ago.... lots has happened since.
I read your profile and you are a Dementia caregiver for somone. How kind of you. Tough job!
How are you holding up?
lovbob
(1)
Report

Hi bob.

Thank you for the welcome. I;m finding my way around the site at the moment. As for my "holding up" I have good days and bad days really. Today is a bad day. I try so very hard not to get angry with my MIL, and although I don't shout at her, I find that the only way to deal with how I feel, is to ignore her, then I feel guilty for doing that. She is a very stubborn Lady, and it doesn't matter what we try to ease any given situation, it just appears to go over her head.

Did you hide the toothbrush? lol. I understand your difficulty.

Hugs to you. CC
(2)
Report

Ah.. CC, I see the question you have just posted about your MIL not wanting to change her clothes after she has an accident.
I'm sure that you're aware that she should be in pullups or Depends or whatever you can get.
They do stuff like that because they have no more control over things so they control what's on their body by not letting you help! Frustrating I know but she is going to fight and it is up to you to figure out what her 'currency' is (as Dr Phil says).
With my mom there was a time when she didn't want to bathe, etc and that is a part of Dementia. It will get worse and worse in spades without intervention.
When they fight about something that is the time to realize that they can't do it anymore. It's not that she refuses to wash, she just can't.
So... Depends so she doesn't soil the furniture and stink you all out and for Heaven's sake don't call them depends or diapers!!
With my mom I called them her 'special underwear to keep her clean' and for my mom after a few days of back and forth, it worked.
I had a boatload of stuff that I told mom to get her to live with her disease in as much comfort as possible. It's all here on this thread which is long and unwieldly but has a LOT of great info about these issues by some amazing caregivers that post here. There are some people who have read it from the start and have commented that it really helped them be better caregivers. There's also a lot of goofy stuff on here too. Breaks it up.
With my mom I would have her clean clothes all laid out and make a wash up like a spa treatment. She could see what she was going to wear and I got her to accept being scrubbed by me because I worked and worked at it.
The main thing I used with mom was humor and that is a great tool.
Your MIL is not going to care about the furniture because she can't. She is not anything but sick. Everybody's Dementia is different and she may still be able to operate a Rubix Cube but she won't be able to clean herself. It is what it is.
So, in summary: First you have to get her some Adult Diapers but you are not going to call them diapers because then you will have WW3.
you will realize that when she is wearing depends, you can't count on her to change them because she is declining and she's wearing diapers! When someone is wearing diapers, someone else has to change them! Or at least supervise the change out with some good humor and a promise of something tasty or some ice cream or whatever you can think up.
this is tough but you can do it!
You're a good daughter in law to step up like this.
Let your husband know that you can do some but not all.
You will need help at some point.
Drugs: is she on Namenda or Aricept or both? Worked wonders for my mom.
Good luck and stay in touch with us! This is a great forum for venting and getting your questions answered. You are welcome here to yak as long and as hard as you want!!
Remember: there is no reasoning with them. As a doctor said to me when I was complaining about what my mom did:
What do you want? She's demented!
lovbob
(6)
Report

Dear bobbie.

Forgive me. i have just read on your profile that your dear Mum has passed on. Please accept my condolences.

My MIL will be 89yrs in June. i had her assessed for incontinence early last year so she already has adult pads, as we call them, she also has the" heavy duty ones" due to her problem being so bad. It's trying to get her to change them often that is another problem.

i will indeed look back on your thread for any hints as to the best way to deal with the situation.

If I press her to do anything I get an attitude or tears even, followed by "You're always picking on me" .........Oh Boy!

thank you for be here for me. CC
(2)
Report

Thanks for the kindness for my mom. It was a hard won relationship and it still makes me cry because I miss her and my dad so much. oh well, onward and upward.
Those of us who have remained on this thread do so because we know that YOU are out there and we don't want other caregivers to suffer in isolation like we did.
You're in good hands CC!

Mom would do the same to me, angry, tears, whatever to get me to back off. I would keep coming at her to help her clean up.
It got to where I said, mom, you stink and that is not going to happen on my watch! Now let's take off those clothes so I don't have to call someone else to come over here and do it!!!
Boy, there's a wake up call!
It took about a week of constant battling to get her to let me put her in the shower and wash her. After that I would give her a shower every other day and then the cat's bath in the sink on the off days.
I talked the whole time, about scrubbing the 'drumsticks' the 'area' the 'boobies', etc etc. She got to where she liked it because I always did her hair after and made her look beautiful.
Of course I looked like yoghurt frozen over but hey.....
Keep writing to stay sane!
lovbob
(2)
Report

Loved your comment Bobbie......My Mom usually lookes great and I usually look like I was caught in a tornado!!!!!!!!!!

CC.... try to make it a fun thing. Tell her how great she looks, smells, etc. afterwards
(3)
Report

Haha...boy I needed that laugh. sooo funny Bobbie, but sooo true. I always look as though I've been pulled through a hedge backwards afte just a verbal battle with my MIL. So I have worse to come huh? lol. I can see though, with everyone's support here, we will get through it....boy I sure hope so!
(3)
Report

The Undertaker's Black Eye

Roy, an undertaker came home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day." replied Roy. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him in a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
"I see" said the wife, "but how did you get the black eye?"
Ray replied: "Wrong room."
(2)
Report

OMG!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! Needed that!!!!
(1)
Report

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off his hoohoo.
According to the nurse attending, the patients girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his hoohoo while he was asleep. I don't know what is worse:
1 Having your girl friend find out your married
2 Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoohoo
3 Or finding out yor hoohoo fits through your wedding ring
(2)
Report

Morning Bobbie
You should have been up her in Michigan this morning we had minus 15 for the temp when we got up. The sun is shining now and the tempis around 11

luv ya Cuz
(1)
Report

Superbly funny Cuz. thanks for the laugh.

CC
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter