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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Hope everyone is having a decent evening....went to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner...needed to get out..short vacation will probably be canceled next week.....nasty weather the 3 days we were going.....not driving 300 mi one way in sleet or freezing rain just to gamble. will go to harrah's in kc instead. now have to go down to col's house and put vertical blind back on that just fell off and look to see why her dog ran into the bedroom.....oh gee let me guess. Last time I cleaned her house I put squares of linoleum under each table leg....looks tacky but what did I find yesterday....only an inch of pee pooled in one around the leg......gave her a lecture about the dog being her responsibility...might as well talk to the wall. I've got some serious farming to do before bedtime on Facebook...guess I'd better get busy with the "important" crap now. Hugz to all!
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French and It's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss and It's all organized by the Italians.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Welcome to Utah Set your watch back 20 years.
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.
KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
In Memoriam With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... And then the trouble started.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Preserve the Spotted Owl (in formaldehyde)
When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred".
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"
Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm ok" with a smile. Send this to a strong person. I just did. The Creator is good. Change is coming. The Creator saw your sadness and said hard times are over. If you believe in Him, send this to ten people including me. Watch what happens in thirty minutes! Be honest and send this to anyone who made you smile this year. It may surprise you how many you get back. Thanks for making me smile.
For the Ladies....So funny!!!! This has been around before but a good one to share just to brighten your day.......
Isn't This The Truth ??????
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.' In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do.
You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them.
A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?? ) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (REST??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).
It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately! Send this to all women that need a good laugh AND, don't forget to have a Mammogram!!!!!! It could save your life!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find Supportive Comfortable Always Lifts You Up Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!! A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.' It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat ther! e, sile ntly. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?' The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.'
My son came home from school one day,With a smirk upon his face.He decided he was smart enough,To put me in my place. "Guess what I learned in Civics Two,that's taught by Mr.. Wright?It's all about the laws today,The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' It says I need not clean my room,Don't have to cut my hairNo one can tell me what to think,Or speak, or what to wear. I have freedom from religion,And regardless what you say,I don't have to bow my head,And I sure don't have to pray. I can wear earrings if I want,And pierce my tongue & nose.I can read & watch just what I like,Get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me,I'll charge you with a crime.I'll back up all my charges,With the marks on my behind. Don't you ever touch M e,My body's only for my use,Not for your hugs and kisses,that's just more child abuse. Don't preach about your morals,Like your Mama did to you.That's nothing more than mind control,And it's illegal too! Mom, I have these children's rights,So you can't influence me,Or I'll call Children's Services Division,Better known as C.S..D." Mom's Reply and Thoughts Of course my first instinct wasTo toss him out the door.But the chance to teach him a lessonMade me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully,I couldn't let this go.A smile crept upon my face,he's messing with a pro. Next day I took him shoppingAt the local Goodwill Store..I told him, "Pick out all you want,there's shirts & pants galore. I've called and checked with C.S.DWho said they didn't careIf I bought you K-Mart shoesInstead of those Nike Airs. I've canceled that appointmentTo take your driver's test.The C.S.D. Is unconcernedSo I'll decide what's best." I said "No time to stop and eat,Or pick up stuff to munch.And tomorrow you can start to learnTo make your own sack lunch. Just save the raging appetite,And wait till dinner time.We're having liver and onions,A favorite dish of mine." He asked "Can I please rent a movie,To watch on my VCR?""Sorry, but I sold your TV,For new tires on my car.I also rented out your room,You'll take the couch instead.The C.S.D. RequiresJust a roof over your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now,I'll choose what we eat.That allowance that you used to get,Will buy me something neat. I'm selling off your jet ski,Dirt-bike & roller blades.Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',It's in effect today! Hey hot shot, are you crying,Why are you on your knees?Are you asking God to help you out,Instead of C.S.D..?" Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, OrHave children who will soon be teenagers or thosewho will be parents somedayOR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH ...I love this One!!! MOM (Mean Old Mother.)
Hi again they cut me off I heard on the NYC station they have a treatment for Ranauads-I know I spelled it wrong it is when you have cold hands and the fingers turn blue-some of you have it -they give botox injections and right away the fingers turn pink and the pain and tingling go away-hope that help those who suffer with this problem,
Good morning all.....sun is shining so I am hoping for a wonderful, new day. I have a question........is it just me or are there some really nut job people giving advice to others here on some of the other threads? Just wondering................................
Jam, I know that is true. Hopefully the AC people will step in and guide them to good advice. Sun is shining here too. It makes such a difference.
Austin, I've never had pain from my Raynaud's. I am fortunate. Maybe it's not that bad yet. But, I will keep your info. in mind. I do know that my doc said something about one of his patients losing toes or something. OMG that would suck. I do know that mine is getting worse and the cold weather does not help. One of the good reasons to move to a warmer climate.
Thanks, Linda, for the chat last night. It helped me a lot from feeling sad and lonely.
Where is our captain this morning??
Let's see if I can get all my thank yous and phone calls I have to make out of the way today. Hubby and I plan to get out and about tomorrow. One week from today is boat time!! Yay!!
jam .. u calling me nut job ? yeah i gave advice to debbo on another thread . i wont do it again . seems its goingin one ear out to another but she did thank for the advice and will put her crap in bag and throw it on doc s desk , and another advice on husband died 4 weks ago and took her to living asisnt place . that threw me off . thought that was rude for her to be doing that . damn . is that what u re sayin ? im the nut job ? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa think i ll go runnin to walmart then .
miz ,, yes it was a pleasure talking to u . there was some things i wanted to ask you but kept forgeting , ah well not imporatant . we were 2 long lost soul and needin to find the soul to yack at . :-) soon u ll be going to paraidse and have a wonderful time . peachie , bobbie , chill out , headbanger . rip , j somebody . pirate , ture colors , where are you !!!! deflex ! deefer are u ok ? angi (hugs) .... am i missing someone eles . oh yes TED !!! JAM i still love you , :-)
no Linda, you are one of the sane ones! I was just wondering....I had been writing with someone who clearly was having some issues with a family member and was giving her some ideas to try which she seemed to appreciate....and along comes someone who starts spouting about xanax being a wonderful med for anxiety but valium is bad......same classification of drug, used for same thing usually, doctor's option......anti-depressants are BAD for the elderly.....huh? So that was my pondering question for the day. Don't go to Wal-Mart.......if you do, would you like xanax or valium to get you through.........or how about a big ole margarita? Hugz!!!!!!
Good Morning All. It has been a busy week here. Thanks for the info on Reynaud's, I will keep it in mind, my daughter has it. Have had a serious bout of Migraines this past week, hopefully they are ending. Feeling ok today. Time will tell, they just come out of nowhere. Definitely stress related. Did alot of stuff with mom this week. Finalizing the finances since dad's passing. Still have the thank you's to do. Next week will be busy to, paying off some bills, Emily has a few dr. appt's, the dog to the vet. Emily announced to me yesterday that her and the bf want to get married next summer.... Yikes.... lol lol They are waiting until he gives her the ring to announce to everyone, so for now its hush..... They have been together 21/2 yrs, just moved in together, she seems to be happy and he is good to her and to mom and i too.... lol She is a package deal lol lol......Mom is mom....lol.... Just feeling kind of sad lately, losing papa, emily moving out and my sib's, when its like i am only child.... but on a good note, i have been contact with a couple of girls i worked with and hopefully getting together wed for dinner, that will be nice. Also making plans to meet Kathy too.... very excited about that. Well off to accomplish something today, what i dont know. Just wanted to say hey to everyone and that all are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope everyone has a great day.... love to all Angie
hahaha , oh mmm i ll take em all before i go inside walmart , uh on saturday . maybe i better not go . fear rossella will put my face on top of walmart stores . :-) haha .. trying to do dishes i just cant stay there till its done , thinkin ciggy time then slide my butt over here and ckin this baby out and played few games with in the back of my head is cryin gotta go finish those dishes , front of my head is sayin well gotta play this game first then maybe go have another ciggy and my bodys screamin dry skin go put lotion on ! back of my ass is sayin well u need a bath ! gosh i end up cant play the game , think i need a xannie , minds running in all diffrent directions . think i may put baby oil in the tub and then i dont have to fool with lotions , gonna babysit grandson today while the whole gangs go off to see monster truck shows . they ll have fun . and so will i :-) i ll have grandbaby to play with , ok will be ckin in again soon , have a good day u all xoox
I don't read many other threads sometimes try to answer questions that I have experience with-I do not know why the experts do not answer some of the questions-Carol use to get involved and she gave great answers because she had taken care of about 7 people and had great insight-this thread keeps me busy and emailing my two gentlemen friends I met on line dating -one we met for lunch and he just wants to be friends and the other I have not met-I am getting away from eharmony.com they just wanted their money-I told them I was going to report them to my state gov. and they refuned some of my money and cut my contract down to 6 months which I wanted in the first place so tell everyone to stay away from that site-the one I am on now sends me closer people and more suited to me even though eharmony asked a million questions and the one I am on now tell you what ages the men are interested in so you do not waste your time with an old fart who wants a babe-yes it does happen-I wanted to tell some of them you have got to be kidding,
I hear that Austin, that eharmony what a waste of time..... for sure. I actually met Don on an online site. He has been a godsend for sure..... We have become best friends and he is my knight is shining armor. I have some onliine dating stories, that you would pee your pants, one of them..... a few yrs ago when i first started the online dating i had talked this one guy for a while, seemed to have all his ducks in a row, or so i thought..... we met for drinks and dinner and let me tell you, my dog has better table manners than he did, honest to god, he ate like a dog, slurp slurp slurpl...... lol.... needless to say it was a one meeting ...... not to mention he was a cop and wanted to see me a second time and said, oh you can just stay at my place....... I DONT THINK SO, never saw him again. lol lol
austin , i wish u luck on the 2nd man . nothing wrong with havin alotta men friends , they pay for ur dinner and purrr at ya . maybe one day you ll run into a guy at grocries store and hit heads and exchange phone numbers ? mmmm i usualy dont say anything on other threads , maybe give a star that s about it . but then theres 2 of em i just had to say something , i was lonley like miz was . wink . good to hear from u bobbie , yep better rest up and be bouncin around when they hop on ur boat .. wooo . i sure wish i could have went too . miz dont forget pictures !! try bobbie s coffee for me plz . love u all , i need go take my bath , wait i need ciggy first . zoommmm ...
The headlines will read "Suicide by Wal-Mart"............. Screw the dishes, take a long, hot bath, put some nice perfume on, and veg the day away. I'm going to go play in the scrapbook room.....after I make sure the col is changed and clean up doggie pee. Have a peaceful and wonderful day to all!!!!!!!
Linda, you are not a nut job. I have commented on some other threads and I know I'm not a nut job, at least not in that way. ;) Those of us with experience in this thing we call care giving have a wealth of information to offer other people who need help. I agree that I wish AC would step up more with answers. I feel bad for the people that post questions or ask for help and no one responds. I would feel bad and alone if that were me. And Linda, I plan on drinkin' lots of Bobbie's coffee so I will have a few cups for you. LOL you sound like me. Gotta do this and that but think I'll have a ciggie first. And then I reward myself with a ciggie after.
K, gonna work on getting the last of the thank yous and phone calls done. Then, it's cleaning and packing. Hubby and I brought some of my Summer clothes in from the garage and also my suitcase. Gotta make a list of what to take too. By the way, I called another friend and she will take care of the kitties for us. She's very reliable and loves kitties and said she will do it for free. I will pay her at least a little something or maybe bring her back something from our trip. And, heard from my nail tech friend and she said she would get me taken care of, no worries. I think things are starting to fall into place. I'm still worried about my other friend. I might try and call her sister if I can find out or remember her last name. She used to do my hair years ago. This is a small big town.
K, love yous all. Be kind to yourselves. No shoveling!!!! ;)
RE: online dating, I have tried match in the past, but didn't quite dare to meet someone, I'm too shy. ONe time a friend set me up on a blind date and I got there first. I was really nervous so I ended up having a few drinks and was totally intoxicated by the time he got there! Not sure why I'm sharing this. ha ha
Bobbie I am sorry you are not feeling well get plenty of rest and drink lots of liquids--water mostly LOL. My daughter met her husband on a dating service pre-computer dating. When she got there a guy started talking to her and he seemed nice and they talked for a while and she thought she better stop talking to him because when her date got there he would think she had brought her brother along then this guy said are you---- and she said are you--- so they met before they met and have been married a long time one of my nephews met his wife on line and another met his girlfriend on line and my brother and his second wife met on line but because they were older they did not tell anyone this until they were married for a while. The sun was out here for a while-we are beeing advised of another snow storm next. In a larger town near here the workers in a seafood store were bored so they made a giant lobster out of snow and used food dye to color it and the local tv station picked it up and now everyone goes to that town to see it and a lot shop at the store it is huge the employees were going to figure how much an 8 foot lobster would cost.
I am up and doing a load of clothes and the sun won't be up for another hour plus. Still feeling sad and doing the best I can. Sorry if I haven't been the cheerleader I usually am. Love all you guys very much and am excited about the upcoming visit from Miz!! That's what's getting me going this week and I am grateful for it.
Going to lay low again today and I hope that everybody posts and uses the thread for what they need to do which is vent! That of course and letting everyone else know how they are making it through the day. It is a beautiful thing to see people really care about each other and friendships come and blossom just because we are/were in the same BOAT!!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.
In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.
I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,
it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person,
which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey",
died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in...
And then the trouble started.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Preserve the Spotted Owl
(in formaldehyde)
When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
There's an
old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and
afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.
The Captain suggested perhaps
it would help if the sailors would change underwear
occasionally.
The first mate responded,
"Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight
to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you
guys smell bad and wants you to change your
underwear."
He continued, " Leo you change with
Jerry. Tony you change with Bert and Bob you
change with Ed."
THE MORAL OF THE
STORY:
Someone may come along and
promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling
any better.
A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm ok" with a smile. Send this to a strong person. I just did. The Creator is good. Change is coming. The Creator saw your sadness and said hard times are over. If you believe in Him, send this to ten people including me. Watch what happens in thirty minutes! Be honest and send this to anyone who made you smile this year. It may surprise you how many you get back. Thanks for making me smile.
Live, Laugh, Love
For the Ladies....So funny!!!! This has been around before but a good one to share just to brighten your day.......
Isn't This The Truth ??????
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do.
You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course.
You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them.
A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it?? ) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (REST??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).
It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately! Send this to all women that need a good laugh AND, don't forget to have a Mammogram!!!!!! It could save your life!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or
Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Share this with a friend!
I Just Did!
One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.'
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat ther! e, sile ntly. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?' The Marine calmly replied, 'God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me.'
My son came home from school one day,With a smirk upon his face.He decided he was smart enough,To put me in my place. "Guess what I learned in Civics Two,that's taught by Mr.. Wright?It's all about the laws today,The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' It says I need not clean my room,Don't have to cut my hairNo one can tell me what to think,Or speak, or what to wear. I have freedom from religion,And regardless what you say,I don't have to bow my head,And I sure don't have to pray. I can wear earrings if I want,And pierce my tongue & nose.I can read & watch just what I like,Get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me,I'll charge you with a crime.I'll back up all my charges,With the marks on my behind. Don't you ever touch M e,My body's only for my use,Not for your hugs and kisses,that's just more child abuse. Don't preach about your morals,Like your Mama did to you.That's nothing more than mind control,And it's illegal too! Mom, I have these children's rights,So you can't influence me,Or I'll call Children's Services Division,Better known as C.S..D." Mom's Reply and Thoughts Of course my first instinct wasTo toss him out the door.But the chance to teach him a lessonMade me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully,I couldn't let this go.A smile crept upon my face,he's messing with a pro. Next day I took him shoppingAt the local Goodwill Store..I told him, "Pick out all you want,there's shirts & pants galore. I've called and checked with C.S.DWho said they didn't careIf I bought you K-Mart shoesInstead of those Nike Airs. I've canceled that appointmentTo take your driver's test.The C.S.D. Is unconcernedSo I'll decide what's best." I said "No time to stop and eat,Or pick up stuff to munch.And tomorrow you can start to learnTo make your own sack lunch. Just save the raging appetite,And wait till dinner time.We're having liver and onions,A favorite dish of mine." He asked "Can I please rent a movie,To watch on my VCR?""Sorry, but I sold your TV,For new tires on my car.I also rented out your room,You'll take the couch instead.The C.S.D. RequiresJust a roof over your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now,I'll choose what we eat.That allowance that you used to get,Will buy me something neat. I'm selling off your jet ski,Dirt-bike & roller blades.Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',It's in effect today! Hey hot shot, are you crying,Why are you on your knees?Are you asking God to help you out,Instead of C.S.D..?" Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, OrHave children who will soon be teenagers or thosewho will be parents somedayOR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH ...I love this One!!!
MOM (Mean Old Mother.)
Jam, I know that is true. Hopefully the AC people will step in and guide them to good advice. Sun is shining here too. It makes such a difference.
Austin, I've never had pain from my Raynaud's. I am fortunate. Maybe it's not that bad yet. But, I will keep your info. in mind. I do know that my doc said something about one of his patients losing toes or something. OMG that would suck. I do know that mine is getting worse and the cold weather does not help. One of the good reasons to move to a warmer climate.
Thanks, Linda, for the chat last night. It helped me a lot from feeling sad and lonely.
Where is our captain this morning??
Let's see if I can get all my thank yous and phone calls I have to make out of the way today. Hubby and I plan to get out and about tomorrow. One week from today is boat time!! Yay!!
Love you all and hugs to all.
miz
is that what u re sayin ? im the nut job ? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa think i ll go runnin to walmart then .
peachie , bobbie , chill out , headbanger . rip , j somebody . pirate , ture colors , where are you !!!! deflex ! deefer are u ok ? angi (hugs) .... am i missing someone eles . oh yes TED !!! JAM i still love you , :-)
So that was my pondering question for the day.
Don't go to Wal-Mart.......if you do, would you like xanax or valium to get you through.........or how about a big ole margarita? Hugz!!!!!!
I am fine, just conserving energy because I don't feel up to snuff
linda, jam didn't mean you. Your advice is sound.
I love it.
love all you guys and hey Miz... getting there!
want to save up energy for Miz!!
lovbob
trying to do dishes i just cant stay there till its done , thinkin ciggy time then slide my butt over here and ckin this baby out and played few games with in the back of my head is cryin gotta go finish those dishes , front of my head is sayin well gotta play this game first then maybe go have another ciggy and my bodys screamin dry skin go put lotion on ! back of my ass is sayin well u need a bath ! gosh i end up cant play the game , think i need a xannie , minds running in all diffrent directions . think i may put baby oil in the tub and then i dont have to fool with lotions ,
gonna babysit grandson today while the whole gangs go off to see monster truck shows . they ll have fun . and so will i :-) i ll have grandbaby to play with ,
ok will be ckin in again soon , have a good day u all xoox
i usualy dont say anything on other threads , maybe give a star that s about it . but then theres 2 of em i just had to say something , i was lonley like miz was . wink .
good to hear from u bobbie , yep better rest up and be bouncin around when they hop on ur boat .. wooo . i sure wish i could have went too . miz dont forget pictures !! try bobbie s coffee for me plz .
love u all , i need go take my bath , wait i need ciggy first . zoommmm ...
Screw the dishes, take a long, hot bath, put some nice perfume on, and veg the day away. I'm going to go play in the scrapbook room.....after I make sure the col is changed and clean up doggie pee. Have a peaceful and wonderful day to all!!!!!!!
K, gonna work on getting the last of the thank yous and phone calls done. Then, it's cleaning and packing. Hubby and I brought some of my Summer clothes in from the garage and also my suitcase. Gotta make a list of what to take too. By the way, I called another friend and she will take care of the kitties for us. She's very reliable and loves kitties and said she will do it for free. I will pay her at least a little something or maybe bring her back something from our trip. And, heard from my nail tech friend and she said she would get me taken care of, no worries. I think things are starting to fall into place. I'm still worried about my other friend. I might try and call her sister if I can find out or remember her last name. She used to do my hair years ago. This is a small big town.
K, love yous all. Be kind to yourselves. No shoveling!!!! ;)
love,
miz
heard from sceret sister . her father in law passed away few days ago and had funeral today , her dad is doing ok ...
thought id let ya know . heard we re going to get a messy snow and ice storma comin mon tue weds , deefer! i need u here to shovel . lol .
xoxo
I am up and doing a load of clothes and the sun won't be up for another hour plus.
Still feeling sad and doing the best I can. Sorry if I haven't been the cheerleader I usually am.
Love all you guys very much and am excited about the upcoming visit from Miz!!
That's what's getting me going this week and I am grateful for it.
Going to lay low again today and I hope that everybody posts and uses the thread for what they need to do which is vent!
That of course and letting everyone else know how they are making it through the day.
It is a beautiful thing to see people really care about each other and friendships come and blossom just because we are/were in the same BOAT!!!
lovbob