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Hey, Headbanger, girlfriend! I got kicked off a site, too!!! After just one stinkin post. I was mortified. It was for people related to narcissists and I think I was too healthy for them. Was projecting about how happy I was gonna be someday since I got all my therapy done while she was still alive and I was in control of HER now!!! neener, neener, nee----nerrrrrrrrr! Wouldn't even answer me when I asked, "WHAT DID I SAY?" Oh well, that's me--speak now, be humiliated later. Yes, you are funny, hb. OMG!!!
Oh goodness....sorry Miz. I was responding to a 2 day old Peach sighting which is more or less recent for me. I'm sorry if I got you excited. I saw 2 posts on the anniversary and got excited enough to mention it in mine.
Yeah--where would we all be without the BOAT? God is Good. Everything happens for a reason, and all that rot. I didn't want to hang out with a bunch of uptight children of narcissists anyway. One more thing: when the Universe rips the rug out from under you, there is usually a trampoline waiting to catch you. I made it up. Just now. heehee
Hey guys! I feel sick again today. Think I have some kind of intestinal deal going on. real hot, but it's ok because it's a dry hot.
HB and Christine there are some terrified people out there. Some wouldn't say shit if they fell in it and the others do not want to communicate with anyone better off than they.
There was a lady on the boat today, very nice, brought me some bottled water. I had the thread up on the computer and she saw it and went into the "Well they're just like children' routine. Sick or no, bottled water or no, I told her what the score was and for her to PLEASE not EVER speak to a dementia caregiver like that. I told her that the child thing was one of the most disgusting myths we have to deal with and it is based in pure ignorance. She took it like a lady and said that she considered herself educated. Too sick to F around.
About a week ago one of the workers here at the yard was on the boat and saw mom's prayer card and asked how did she die? I said Dementia. Well, ol home slice had no clue that you could die from it and then proceeded to tell me how he and his wife have moved next door to his mom and dad and that his dad is starting to forget stuff, but "that's normal for an old person"... I said, actually, no it isn't. Any memory loss is abnormal and a harbinger of fun to come. How quickly it's all going to fall to pieces is the issue. He became indignant and said: my parents are good people. I said, they're in good company. Good people get this disease too. A nice man, but I couldn't help thinking: what a moron and boy does he have a surprise waiting for him. People are mostly idiots and that's how it goes. the dumb ones are outbreeding the smart ones like 15 to 1 (I'm sure there's more current numbers) and the rest of us have to clean it up.
No one has the balls to speak up and say, look here, this is what is going to happen. That in and of itself is criminal. You see the Aricept commercial and ol grandad is just fine helping to set the table. Ya right gimme a break.
Disgusted with the 2 sites that bounced you guys off. I'm in a mood to get them on the horn and tell them the truth. Pussies.
This site is leaps and bounds ahead of anyone else because there are caregivers here that are moderators as opposed to some stupid degree in social work that has absolutely no real world value except to the person who is all proud of it hanging on the wall. You can use that to wipe some granny's butt and then at least it will have some value even if only for a moment. I have received the worst advice from degrees without exception.
I'm curious to know whether the 2 sites had anything to do with a 'church' or 'religion'. They are typically the worst people to try and talk to about anything because they are so fearful.
OK, I'm about to be on a roll and I'll shut up now. I just posted on the 90 year old urinating everywhere and some dude (looked like a dude in the pic) was talking about 'punishment'. that got me going. Hope I wasn't too hard on him. Her. It. whatever.
Okay, I wasn't going to mention this, But just today i went to another site- caregiver,org- and after my first introductory post I recieved a reply that was vaguely rude, hinting that iam faking all this or something because i'm not "Man" enough to provide for my family. Even to suggesting that maybe My siblings are seeing a simalarity between me and mom, and Brooke Astor and her son. No Joke. I let that go (sort of) and then as I read through more of the posts, realized that, Yes, Everything is about blessings and "He Knows What We Can Handle", etc. I certainly don't want to offend anyone here because I love you all, but I decided to unsubscribe from that one. Your right again, Bobbie, this site;this THREAD is leaps and bounds above the rest Thanks to you.
No offense taken, Ted. Of course. We know the score. And we know it is what it is. We are surrounded by idiots. Not on this thread but on others. We have had some idiots now and again but they are gone. (I probably should not have said that but I don't feel well and so I said it and I sure ain't perfect and all that.) Anyways, people don't get it. How dare anyone talk to you the way they did on that other site. Pisses me right off. I'm sorry you experienced that. Just what you DON'T need. As a long time member of this thread I will defend it until the day I die and the wonderful caregivers on here who put up with all the shit literally and figuratively every minute of their lives...
hello you all ! was reading and feeling like we all are sitting at the table . oh wouldnt that be great if we all could do that , oh yes alkin about leavin elders in the car alone , i did that to dad one time , had to go pay car ins and told him i be right back , mother in law was sittin in back van , she couldnt open the door , didnt know how , but dad sat up front and went inside the bank hollarin for me , lady came into allstate and ask me if i was linda i said yes i am , she said ur dad s all over the bank looking for u , oh great ! i had to go inside the bank and told him u said u wouldntget ou t ofthe car ! he said that i took too long and he was worried , told mil that she was so good stayed in the car , she said well i couldnt open the door . i thought oh thank u jesus hell she prob be missing ! if she did . golly , now i have heard we could get arrested for leavin elders in the car alone . oh great ! coke and rum . mmm i justtook a pain pill and a zanie to edge off my nerve and pain pill for my poor back , nerve inmy back is wanting to throw me down to my knees , zannie s helpin me to smile some . ted , screw those who puts u down , theyre not worth to be meowing at . headbanger i am so glad u joined us and stay with us too , pleasure to have you ! now maybe if jam could give us come coke and rum i bet we all be happy campers and laugh till our side hurts . oh is it wonderful to wish that , lie bobie says one year we all shall have a reunion to hang on her boat . we ll have to be good girls , ( yeahright ) :-)
I know I wouldn't do well on a religious based site. I also would not do well on a site that would suggest that the elderly become children.
Where the hell does that come from? Children are learning. They are little sponges that soak up everything you can possibly show them. They learn control of their actions through positive and negative reinforcement. There is no comparison between a child and what my grandmother is going through.
Yes she is exhibiting strange behaviors. She "finger paints" in stuff I wish she didn't. She tears up paper. She hides things. She hoardes food and stuffs her mouth with it when she thinks no one is watching. She poops on the floor and blames my dog. She is a lint picker (and nibbler on occasion). She wears a couch protection device.
Punishing her is not going to make a difference. Praising her is not going to make a difference. The only thing that makes a difference to her is treating her with dignity with every ounce of self control I have ever exhibited. When I would like to kick some serious ass for having to disinfect the bathroom AGAIN, there is a little voice inside that tells me to respect....Respect the fact that she is forgetting or already forgotten more than I have ever known. I was a baby in her arms once and she protected me.
This doesn't mean that I shouldn't have a place to talk about the things I have to grudgingly do. I hold it in all day...I don't make her feel bad for not being able to "hold it". WTF she can't even feel it when she's doing it. We aren't potty training here. She isn't motivated to please me or please herself.
I am realistic and I am human. I live in a semi-populated county that has rules that keep people like me from screaming in my yard till I can't scream anymore...they call that public disturbance or some stupid shit. If your nice neighbor complains they send the nice Officer over to your house to tell you to shut up or else. Then they tip their hat to Grandma and tell YOU to have a nice day.
Headbanger, you are a comic writer. Seriously. While Jen, she should work for a newspaper. We have amazing talents here! I can't really imagine a site which kicks out a person like you. I wonder where the sense of humour has gone. We always say that people that are not in our condition can't understand us; it is very sad to think that even people who "are" in our condition don't understand that there can be many reactions to a tragedy like the one we are living, because it is really a tragedy to assist to the decay of a human brain. Everyone has his own reaction, and if someone feels - always - happy and privileged to take care of a declining old relative, I am glad for him. But he should not judge us human beings for having some moments of rebellion... My cousin asked me the other day how I deal with it and I said I am not getting crazy thanks to my American friends and it works better than a psychotherapy. that's all, many of you have already talked about the subject better than me. Jam, when I go to the café with my mother I clear the table from everything there is on it; sugar bags, paper napkins... I can't let her free to do what she wants. And I bring her the food that she can eat. If I let her free, sure she would eat and drink so many absurd things that she would feel sick! this way the situation is manageable, otherwise I should give up going anywhere! My mother sees me as a watchdog.
Stillstanding, this is a very good idea. Let's go to that site and everybody writes a post that knocks them off. Everyone of us will be kicked out, but we'll have put a seed of something in their heads!
OMG...did I tell you that I can be seriously led on by my peers to do some website grafetti....let me paint with my words. Seriously I'll just do what I do and I'll be ejected in 5 minutes or less.
Unfortunately I switched computers last year and don't have the address of the site that booted me. I think it would be funny to have all these like minded IP addresses from all over the country getting booted for real opinions.
They are fake sites really. Now that I look back they are probably fronts for people who sell bedside commodes and bed doughnuts.
In reading all your early evening posts, solidarity is the term that comes to mind; an unusually bonded group of like-minded, highly intelligent, hyper-caring, empathetic, compassionate, and mutually appreciative souls. A slice of Heaven, no doubt; on earth at a lovely kitchen table, Linda.
I have 7 acres of land.....3 in pond....and I have on numerous occasions, been heard standing on the deck stairs screaming. Loud enough to make col look at me with that "deer in the headlights" look, but not loud enough for the neighbors across the road to hear. She caused it, she may listen to it. Took night meds down, cleaned doggie pee out from under 2 table legs....thank you dear hubby for keeping her occupied while I removed the nasty, old tube of black mascara from the bottom of your purse. You will not outsmart me..........
you are entirely correct headbanger......children indeed!! If my children had acted like the col they would still be in time-out and my baby is 31 yrs. old!
Getting a new 'do tomorrow with new color also.....can't wait, will be nice to feel like "me" again. By the way....yoo hoo Linda, have you posted pics on FB yet?
Time to relax and my glass is empty and I can hear that rum calling my name......going to get another bottle of black cherry cruzan tomorrow.....yummy!
Hope everyone has a wonderful, peaceful night.....Hugz to all!!
Jam:: Enjoy your pampering day. New color is exciting to me.
I always love to get my hair done...I will let someone shampoo my hair forever. I just love, love, love someone massaging my scalp. I want a good drink too. Something with an umbrella in it.
Okay, one last post this evening.......duct tape is what I need. I am answering a post here because if I answer where it is I will probably be knocked off the site entirely........don't ask what I would rather be doing in my "precious time" other than clean pee, poop, bathe, laundry, dust, sweep, vacuum, carpet clean, throw out moldy food, doctor appt. give meds, let's see what else? Put in bed, get out of bed, clean up puke........And I haven't even gotten to my own home yet!!!!!!!! Oh my.
hell i was typin away and looked up to see if i mispell anything shit theres no words there ! grrr now i gotta start all over again . no i did not post my picture on f/b , sorry , one dayi know how then next day i forgot how , or its not leting me . anyway i hate my hair now , it wont do a damn t hing ! i miss my long hair waaaaaaaa , RIP u best keep ur long hair my friend . i just pul em up in pony tail and say hell with it . maybe tmr ill play around with my hair and curl em or whatever maybe end up cuttin it off more myself , who knows ? maybe it be back in ponytail again . oldest daughter will be 31 yrs old next month , called and said she has something for me and will come ove for a cup of coffee in the morning and chit chat away , i sure cant wait , missin her and she lives 5 miles from here , she has 3 kids and works 2 days a week cna , busy lady she is , tmr we ll enjoy eachothers company , ok am gonna go try figure out how to get that picture on f/b . i sent one to rip , miz , maybe they know how ? ah willsee . nothing speical about my hair only its shorter and missin long hair waaaaaaaaaaaaaa . it needed cut to start all over again thicken it up some . and it will grow again . jam , happy tmr for u , hair do day . takin col with ya tmr ? get hers done too ? ok smoke time , xooxo
Thanks, Miz, everyone, I think I'll just go with the whole "Isolation" thing for now and stick with the people I know are supportive. I don't need to keep "reaching out for help" and all that, i got you guys, my counselor, and a few at my local support group that I can feel safe with, no need to risk any more idiots coming at me. What we deal with everyday doesn't leave a lot of room for the added stress and hurt that some people are more than willing to pile on, and after the damage done by the attack of the thieving siblings i don't feel like i'm up to defending myself against that kind of minipulation. I'm just not going to allow myself to be led into that foxhole again.
But I'm up for a little site graffitti so count me in! (if my wifi connection cooperates)
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Wouldn't even answer me when I asked, "WHAT DID I SAY?"
Oh well, that's me--speak now, be humiliated later.
Yes, you are funny, hb. OMG!!!
I thought my world ended with that blog rejection, little did I realize the trail of tears would lead me to my present loving circumstances.
Rock on!
LOVE YOU!
Christina
I didn't want to hang out with a bunch of uptight children of narcissists anyway.
One more thing: when the Universe rips the rug out from under you, there is usually a trampoline waiting to catch you.
I made it up. Just now. heehee
I feel sick again today. Think I have some kind of intestinal deal going on. real hot, but it's ok because it's a dry hot.
HB and Christine there are some terrified people out there. Some wouldn't say shit if they fell in it and the others do not want to communicate with anyone better off than they.
There was a lady on the boat today, very nice, brought me some bottled water. I had the thread up on the computer and she saw it and went into the "Well they're just like children' routine. Sick or no, bottled water or no, I told her what the score was and for her to PLEASE not EVER speak to a dementia caregiver like that. I told her that the child thing was one of the most disgusting myths we have to deal with and it is based in pure ignorance.
She took it like a lady and said that she considered herself educated.
Too sick to F around.
About a week ago one of the workers here at the yard was on the boat and saw mom's prayer card and asked how did she die?
I said Dementia. Well, ol home slice had no clue that you could die from it and then proceeded to tell me how he and his wife have moved next door to his mom and dad and that his dad is starting to forget stuff, but "that's normal for an old person"...
I said, actually, no it isn't. Any memory loss is abnormal and a harbinger of fun to come. How quickly it's all going to fall to pieces is the issue.
He became indignant and said: my parents are good people.
I said, they're in good company. Good people get this disease too. A nice man, but I couldn't help thinking: what a moron and boy does he have a surprise waiting for him.
People are mostly idiots and that's how it goes. the dumb ones are outbreeding the smart ones like 15 to 1 (I'm sure there's more current numbers) and the rest of us have to clean it up.
No one has the balls to speak up and say, look here, this is what is going to happen. That in and of itself is criminal. You see the Aricept commercial and ol grandad is just fine helping to set the table. Ya right gimme a break.
Disgusted with the 2 sites that bounced you guys off. I'm in a mood to get them on the horn and tell them the truth.
Pussies.
This site is leaps and bounds ahead of anyone else because there are caregivers here that are moderators as opposed to some stupid degree in social work that has absolutely no real world value except to the person who is all proud of it hanging on the wall. You can use that to wipe some granny's butt and then at least it will have some value even if only for a moment. I have received the worst advice from degrees without exception.
I'm curious to know whether the 2 sites had anything to do with a 'church' or 'religion'. They are typically the worst people to try and talk to about anything because they are so fearful.
OK, I'm about to be on a roll and I'll shut up now. I just posted on the 90 year old urinating everywhere and some dude (looked like a dude in the pic) was talking about 'punishment'. that got me going. Hope I wasn't too hard on him. Her. It. whatever.
more later,
lovbob
Your right again, Bobbie, this site;this THREAD is leaps and bounds above the rest
Thanks to you.
love,
miz
oh yes alkin about leavin elders in the car alone , i did that to dad one time , had to go pay car ins and told him i be right back , mother in law was sittin in back van , she couldnt open the door , didnt know how , but dad sat up front and went inside the bank hollarin for me , lady came into allstate and ask me if i was linda i said yes i am , she said ur dad s all over the bank looking for u , oh great ! i had to go inside the bank and told him u said u wouldntget ou t ofthe car ! he said that i took too long and he was worried , told mil that she was so good stayed in the car , she said well i couldnt open the door . i thought oh thank u jesus hell she prob be missing ! if she did . golly , now i have heard we could get arrested for leavin elders in the car alone . oh great !
coke and rum . mmm i justtook a pain pill and a zanie to edge off my nerve and pain pill for my poor back , nerve inmy back is wanting to throw me down to my knees , zannie s helpin me to smile some .
ted , screw those who puts u down , theyre not worth to be meowing at .
headbanger i am so glad u joined us and stay with us too , pleasure to have you ! now maybe if jam could give us come coke and rum i bet we all be happy campers and laugh till our side hurts . oh is it wonderful to wish that ,
lie bobie says one year we all shall have a reunion to hang on her boat . we ll have to be good girls , ( yeahright ) :-)
Where the hell does that come from? Children are learning. They are little sponges that soak up everything you can possibly show them. They learn control of their actions through positive and negative reinforcement. There is no comparison between a child and what my grandmother is going through.
Yes she is exhibiting strange behaviors. She "finger paints" in stuff I wish she didn't. She tears up paper. She hides things. She hoardes food and stuffs her mouth with it when she thinks no one is watching. She poops on the floor and blames my dog. She is a lint picker (and nibbler on occasion). She wears a couch protection device.
Punishing her is not going to make a difference. Praising her is not going to make a difference. The only thing that makes a difference to her is treating her with dignity with every ounce of self control I have ever exhibited. When I would like to kick some serious ass for having to disinfect the bathroom AGAIN, there is a little voice inside that tells me to respect....Respect the fact that she is forgetting or already forgotten more than I have ever known. I was a baby in her arms once and she protected me.
This doesn't mean that I shouldn't have a place to talk about the things I have to grudgingly do. I hold it in all day...I don't make her feel bad for not being able to "hold it". WTF she can't even feel it when she's doing it. We aren't potty training here. She isn't motivated to please me or please herself.
I am realistic and I am human. I live in a semi-populated county that has rules that keep people like me from screaming in my yard till I can't scream anymore...they call that public disturbance or some stupid shit. If your nice neighbor complains they send the nice Officer over to your house to tell you to shut up or else. Then they tip their hat to Grandma and tell YOU to have a nice day.
LOL
We have amazing talents here! I can't really imagine a site which kicks out a person like you.
I wonder where the sense of humour has gone.
We always say that people that are not in our condition can't understand us; it is very sad to think that even people who "are" in our condition don't understand that there can be many reactions to a tragedy like the one we are living, because it is really a tragedy to assist to the decay of a human brain.
Everyone has his own reaction, and if someone feels - always - happy and privileged to take care of a declining old relative, I am glad for him. But he should not judge us human beings for having some moments of rebellion...
My cousin asked me the other day how I deal with it and I said I am not getting crazy thanks to my American friends and it works better than a psychotherapy.
that's all, many of you have already talked about the subject better than me.
Jam, when I go to the café with my mother I clear the table from everything there is on it; sugar bags, paper napkins... I can't let her free to do what she wants. And I bring her the food that she can eat. If I let her free, sure she would eat and drink so many absurd things that she would feel sick! this way the situation is manageable, otherwise I should give up going anywhere! My mother sees me as a watchdog.
Unfortunately I switched computers last year and don't have the address of the site that booted me. I think it would be funny to have all these like minded IP addresses from all over the country getting booted for real opinions.
They are fake sites really. Now that I look back they are probably fronts for people who sell bedside commodes and bed doughnuts.
you are entirely correct headbanger......children indeed!! If my children had acted like the col they would still be in time-out and my baby is 31 yrs. old!
Getting a new 'do tomorrow with new color also.....can't wait, will be nice to feel like "me" again. By the way....yoo hoo Linda, have you posted pics on FB yet?
Time to relax and my glass is empty and I can hear that rum calling my name......going to get another bottle of black cherry cruzan tomorrow.....yummy!
Hope everyone has a wonderful, peaceful night.....Hugz to all!!
I always love to get my hair done...I will let someone shampoo my hair forever. I just love, love, love someone massaging my scalp. I want a good drink too. Something with an umbrella in it.
no i did not post my picture on f/b , sorry , one dayi know how then next day i forgot how , or its not leting me . anyway i hate my hair now , it wont do a damn t hing ! i miss my long hair waaaaaaaa , RIP u best keep ur long hair my friend .
i just pul em up in pony tail and say hell with it .
maybe tmr ill play around with my hair and curl em or whatever maybe end up cuttin it off more myself , who knows ? maybe it be back in ponytail again .
oldest daughter will be 31 yrs old next month , called and said she has something for me and will come ove for a cup of coffee in the morning and chit chat away , i sure cant wait , missin her and she lives 5 miles from here , she has 3 kids and works 2 days a week cna , busy lady she is , tmr we ll enjoy eachothers company ,
ok am gonna go try figure out how to get that picture on f/b . i sent one to rip , miz , maybe they know how ? ah willsee . nothing speical about my hair only its shorter and missin long hair waaaaaaaaaaaaaa .
it needed cut to start all over again thicken it up some . and it will grow again .
jam , happy tmr for u , hair do day . takin col with ya tmr ? get hers done too ?
ok smoke time , xooxo
Nearly full moon....Watch out!
I'll meet you at the dock for some drinks. Mom is about to make me go out back and scream!!!!
I think I'll just go with the whole "Isolation" thing for now and stick with the people I know are supportive. I don't need to keep "reaching out for help" and all that, i got you guys, my counselor, and a few at my local support group that I can feel safe with, no need to risk any more idiots coming at me. What we deal with everyday doesn't leave a lot of room for the added stress and hurt that some people are more than willing to pile on, and after the damage done by the attack of the thieving siblings i don't feel like i'm up to defending myself against that kind of minipulation.
I'm just not going to allow myself to be led into that foxhole again.
But I'm up for a little site graffitti so count me in! (if my wifi connection cooperates)