Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Jam, what exactly does she do with the mascara?? Is it just on her eyelashes or does she put it under them and stuff??

Well, seems the family could not handle her at all this weekend. They are putting her in a nursing home until I can get back on my feet. They are also checking into if her insurance will pay for my er visit. I did tell the daughter that what ever meds she comes back with, she is staying on them. The last time, the daughter insisted she be taken off of everything, and here we are today.. what a f'n mess.
HB we are already missing you and you haven't even left yet. I am so happy you are getting this outing with your family. I know we will hear from you. Can't wait for all the cool stories.
I will try to get caught up with everyone tomorrow. It is time for me to rest my leg for a bit... love ya all,

That's a shame, ladee. What is wrong with those people??

Sorry. I just blurted that out. Sorry.

miz, please do not apologize for saying the truth.. I have set here this weekend a witnessed what I would call absolute abuse at the hands of her two moronic children. Especially the son. I found this out today, he let her get out of his house last night, and she fell in the pasture... it was night time, she was already totally confused. Then later in the day because she was going on and on about her car, he GAVE HER THE KEYS, and let her drive up to the house. She is 92 with late stage Alz and it is as if they are trying to punish her for being out of control. In order to understand people like that I would have to think like they do, and thank God that is not how I think. She has been the same way with me for almost two weeks, I have been trying to tell them she needed to go to the Dr. Maybe a UTI, but the daughter just keeps screwing with her meds. The poor lady , if she did not respond immediatly to one med the daughter was putting her on something else. That by itself could account for some of her violence.. ya think!!!!! But now I am unable to care for Ruth, so the family has let her run wild this weekend. She has fallen at least 5 times that they told me about. I called the HH Rn and told her what was going on. And if they did not get Ruth into a safe enviornment I was going to call the authorities. So RN called the daughter and talked her into putting Ruth into a nursing home, getting her meds straightened out, letting me heal some, and then resuming as usual. I did tell the daughter this evening that whatever meds she came back on, she was staying on them.. I may be repeating myself here, but watching all this from a wheelchair this weekend has taken it's toll on my heart. So lots of prayers for Ruth that she gets the care she needs, meds that will help calm her down, and get to rest. I know she has to be exhausted. Bless her little crazy heart. I will heal, I will get better, and we can only pray that Ruth has some kind of quality of life when she gets out of the nursing home. The one she is going to is one of the best in our area, so i will not worry about her there.
I do believe in Karma, I would not be that family for all the money on earth.
I am hip deep in all this and have not been present for anyone this weekend. Tomorrow will be calmer and I will have time to get caught up with everyone. Miz, hope things are looking better for your mil. hugs to you and your family and prayers for a good outcome..

Thank You, ladee. You are right. Poor Ruth. What the hell were they thinking? I am glad she is going somewhere away from them and their crazy thinking and you can just rest and get well. Thanks so much for your prayers and hugs. They mean a lot.

love,
miz

they are assholes... It's the 5th times I say so.

hi rossella . i think men this weekend was an assholes , must be the stars ,, lol today was the worst cuz he has to go back to work tmr .
storming like crazy here , pourin down a rainin , spring brings may flowers , cant wait to see things come back alive . then fight with the weeds grrr , anybody here know how to get rid of weeds for good ?
ibest get of here , dont want to fry my puter up , goodnight you all and just keep smilin and think oftheboat ! obmaj !!
xoxox

Does Colin Firth read our thread? When he took the Oscar he talked about his bowel movement.

The idea of my cousin for fighting weeds, Linda, is to fight them with another weed. He puts dogtooth violet everywhere, and he keeps it low. Or dichondra...
This way, you have only one weed!
Instead, don't tell me about blackberry bush. They are the obsession of my life.
If you want to kill them for good, use glyphosate (Monsanto, Roundup). I guess you know it already...

miz, the col just starts putting it on the upper lashes...she can't see and she looks into this tiny little mirror and continues to put it on until all her lashes are clumped into about 3 big globs, with spots on her eyelids, then she goes for the bottom lashes and since she can't see it gets all smeared under her eyes and she hits the corners so there are blobs on her skin, then if she hits her eye with the brush, she rubs it or uses a tissue when her eyes start to water. Let us not forget that she loves blue eye shadow and uses lipstick for blush and then puts on brick red lipstick. Oh she's quite the colorful little toucan.......should have seen her when she still wore false lashes.....she would buy the full lashes then cut them into individual lashes...don't know why she never bought them that way to begin with....but after gluing them on she would glob on the mascara. Hubby always told her it looked like she had big hairy spiders on her eyes. I am now having to watch her closely, she saw a commercial for some type of hydrolyze cream and she is convinced it will pick up her face and the wrinkles will be gone. Caught her twice with the phone number written down to call and order it. Checked cell today and she hasn't ordered yet. I did some research and found that the product will be billed at 2 payments of $69.95 for the initial order and then she would be sent more every 30 days for $69.95. I'm going to call AT&T and see if I can block 800 numbers from being dialed on her phone. If not, then I told hubby he has to take credit card away from her. Can't let her start this crap......Going to bed....not sure what I have written makes sense.
Thunderstorms are over here now and headed east. Today we have had rain, hail, lightening, thunder and there are still little patches of snow......only in Missouri.

Good night and peaceful dreams to all of the angels.....

Jam, I've seen that hydrolyze commercial,,I hope the col doesn't order any. I keep getting a magazine I didn't order and the bill keeps arriving..so annoying. Lately I've been waking up early and then get tired early. I have to have bloodwork for cholesterol, triglycerides, etc. I know it's all high along with the blood pressure. Maybe I'll feel better if I get on the appropriate meds. A happy pill would be nice, as well.

Jam, Col is really dangerous! I'm not surprised you are tired! Seen from outside, though, one must admire her strongwill and resourcefulness...
I understand you are not so enthousiastic about these qualities of hers.

Hi rossella, I didn't see The King's Speech yet. Did you? I watched some of the oscars, but not to the end. Maybe it will be on the news today.

Mornings are my nemesis. Specifically Mon-Wed-Fri. I am trying to wake up, wishing I could just take a shower, and waiting for my morning tea with the monitor right next to me.

I hear every noise Grandma is making. Every deep breathing slurp of air she takes into her lungs. I didn't even do this for my own babies. I never owned a monitor.

Since the nurse (the butcher) didn't get enough blood for her coumadin level last week. He has to come back this week and redraw the tube. He better bring someone who can do the job...he can't draw blood from a bloodbath...he was awful at it. I wanted to palm him in the head, push him aside and do it myself. I used to be a phlebotomist, so I know he had no natural ability or training. Seriously why didn't he just punch her in the face and put a dish under her nose? It wouldn't have hurt her so much and he could have filled the tube. She compained so bitterly about the hematoma on her arm just yesterday I'm sure that has become another ingrained story that she will share over and over and over again. Thanks for that...

The nurse usually calls at the butt-crack of dawn so I'm afraid that my shower will be interrupted either by him or by Grandma just waking and demanding service. So here I sit in my robe waiting to hear from the nurse aide. Maybe I'll shower when she gets here.

I got the monitor at 7:30a and my mother couldn't wait to tell me 30 minutes worth of information in 10 minutes time. I've never EVER been a morning person, listening to her thoughts (which contradict EVERYTHING she planned and said yesterday) is annoying beyond my capability to write about it today. The rain....did you hear the rain? Geebus...Mom. Not only did I not HEAR the rain last night, but I don't give a flying schitt about it either. I understand it rained hard, but how much drama do you want to conjure over rain? *Yawn accompanied by blank stare*

She also is taking grandma off of any med that controls anxiety. Ativan included until grandma levels out. Awesome-sauce...I agreed that the haldol is not helping...D/C that drug, but the Ativan too? I can't wait to sit with her today. I'm the one who is going to be seeing the spiders on the wall, not her...(thank you JAM...all I can think of is the COL's eyelashes).

Mother is also changing her mind about discontinuing the coumadin. WTF ever...this dementia and wasting body can continue forever. Seriously what else am I doing with my life. Absolutely nothing. We had discussed quality of life last night. She continues to have TIAs with increasing frequency even in the therapeutic dose of the drug. She has not had a major stroke or heart attack but still her quality continues to suffer. Every TIA causes more confusion, dementia and difficulty with her care. By all means lets keep it going. She also is developing a negative response to continued blood draws. Who does she have to kick in the face to stop doing that? She is in HOSPICE...keep the patient comfortable, we are not trying to extend the normal life span here. At least that is what I was told.

It is just typical of my mother. We discuss something for hours. I feel that we are on the same page, then the next day she comes up with another plan. I come away wondering why she felt that she needed to suck my life out for those hours in discussion for no reason at all. Those are hours on a Sunday that I will never get back, should have spent with my husband since it was my afternoon off, and they seemed to have done absolutely no good at all.

The term life-sucking comes into play here. I can sit with grandma, try to entertain her and clean her, whatever needs to be done. I hate it on an entirely different level when someone wastes my time.

So Mom, If you need to bounce ideas off of someone....I'll buy you a mirror. Then once you are done beating the crap out of your ideas and have talked yourself out of them all, when you are back to square one and are happy, then come and see me. At least I won't have spent the evening thinking of how to implement yesterdays idea that you have NO plans on using today.

I have more mother issues than grandma issues it seems. You see how useful this thread is? I would have spent 4 weeks in therapy and $600 for that information.

Thanks....chat later!

SSK: Hope you find the happy pill. If you do discover it, please share the info with me. Dose me up!

Love to all,
HB

Will be going to Dr. today for neuro check for Mom. (Me thinks they better do one on me while there)!!! Person that was going with me to "help with w/c, doors" etc. has called bright and early to tell me she can not make it afterall (For the second time). Oh well, what else is new? Hubby let me sleep on Saturday. Had 4 full hours of undisturbed, blissful sleep!!!
Feel very tired this am. though, I need to hit the coffee hard and often today!!! Blessings to all..................

Ok so haha on me. After all that mom spew of 15 min ago...here is horoscope for today:

Your Daily Horoscope
Your mother may be on your mind today, Sagittarius. Your mother probably affects how you think, act, and feel, both in the past and now. If your mother's sign is opposite yours, conflict and misunderstanding can happen more easily. Take the time to learn about her sign today to help you understand her and the relationship you have.

I think I spent enough time last night, but interesting coincidence that it should say this today.

Love, HB

Okay....so I wake up this morning to this strange, bright light in the sky, which is an odd blue color......of course I have to carry the blind poodle outside so I am hoping even though it's 29 degrees out the strange light has made the ice on the deck stairs melt...success! Away I go with her sidekicks following...minding my own business surveying the land after being covered in snow for so many days...when I hear a whoosh and "Jo Anne I don't have any tv"......this is done in a whining tone....crap she's up..so which button did you push this time on the remote....by the way, this is and has been an ongoing weekly problem...PUSH THE ORANGE BUTTON ONLY...never touch any other buttons....why is it every time she starts pushing every single button she can find....took the tv remote away because when satellite would go out, she would start pushing buttons on both remotes....do you know how long and frustrating that is to straighten out? So as I walked out the door I picked up her trash can and said this is your job today.....the puddle of doggie pee......and all of this before even one cup of coffee..........

Setting here enjoying a quite cup of coffee, after a full nights sleep. The sun is shining, grass is turning green, trees are budding new leaves, a mild breeze.
Please don't hate me because I have a broken knee.....

OK ya'll after my last post, I can take anything ya got. I making myself available today for ya'll to use as your verbal punching bag. Bring it on....love ya'll

Who could possibly hate you? You earned that full nights sleep and many more of them besides. We want to you heal completely and fully.

I'm glad you can see the beauty in the day my friend.

Love,
HB

ladeeda....sounds to me like that family is trying to kill Ruth off....glad she is going into a home for a while....is there a big estate.....might check the will......good grief how cruel can they be to her? I understand...for the short time my mom lived with my younger sibling a few years ago, she was really mean to mom...now she is just mean to everyone...:)

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and
Wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out
To the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
Educated and happy.


Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
Good grief, look how smart I am!

Must be where the term 'Smart Ass' came from!

The verdict is in.

My mother and my grandmother's doctor had the important chat about the blood thinner. It was very revealing, and if my mother reads between the lines she can see that my thoughts on taking her off the coumadin and replacing it with aspirin were NOT the equivalent of giving rat poison. I was not misplaced in my thinking and I was not trying to kill her off. The doctor gave us the following information:

1) Gran is going to be 90 in September. The doctor has NO ONE in her practice this old who is still on coumadin therapy. She was going to take her off it in September anyway. That was the last possible time that she would agree to keep giving it to her, so she is glad the conversation came up.

2) If grandma fell, on coumadin this is a catastrophe. If she breaks anything, the bleeding is difficult if not impossible to control.

3) The doc stated that if the patient is still having TIAs then the coumadin isn't working as well as intended so the trauma from the blood draws at this point outweighs any perceived benefit from continuation of the therapy.

4) While her chance of having a stroke do go up, if she is still having TIAs anyway, at her age the Aspirin could function 80% as well to control the risk of stroke. Coumadin 90%...

So looks like grandma is spared from future blood draws. No more coumadin. I am happy and grandma will be happy. If you could only see how miserable she was and has been since that last blood draw. She can't help but look at her hand and everytime she see's that bruise she is reminded and remarks about how much pain she is in.

Oh happy day....the sundowner is still sleeping. I am considering going in there to wake her happy-hiney up. She did sleep through the night last night. Probably from exhaustion, she had been up for like 36 hours straight. I don't want her pulling another all-nighter tonight.

See ya! Love all round
HB

Morning Good, slightly-off People, wonderful Friends of MIne.
Jam, a little different scenario since my Mother is 93 and can't see, but when ever I tell her something which I have told her a million times before, she says, "Oh, I didn't know that." The same response every time. Yes, you did, Mother. You just forgot. "Oh, I did?" Yes, but it's OK. I'll keep reminding you.
Thank God my Mother is totally helpless, right--because then we have to do things MY WAY!!!! Isn't that a perfectly wonderful way to look at this quasi-conjoined twin life? I think so.
HB, darling girl: again, I suggest the Zoom-Out perspective, because YOU are not going to be doing this for long. You know I know why. Take a deep breath, and BELIEVE. Sigh.
Where is that darned Terd this morning? Hope he's not stuck in some john. Sure he'll turnip, I mean, turn up.
Rosella, Rosella, Bella: klepto Gram. Sounds like something they let you send from the klinker. Or clinker. "Help. Found wallet. Not mine "They" say. Bring money. Won't let me use $ found. Ask for serial # 5437. Ciao"
Chillout: Much love and prayers to you. Keep in touch:)
LindaHeart and MIz and BonnieO--that was fun last night:)
SSK: I understand how you can save up and at the right time blast brother. I did that to my sister a few weeks ago while she was still walking into my house. Tried to give me her opinion about something I can do in my sleep, and I reamed her. Talk is cheap, you know. Brother maybe acts like you should be "beholden" to him for relieving you? Maybe that is all he can spare, he knows you are tired, knows he is a tightwad, (please forgive my blatancy) and maybe with just a few more naggings from you he will give in. I think this is a good plan. Try it and let us know.
I am famous for never dropping something until I get my way--I would be a fabulous bull-rider, maybe. I don't mean for self-gain, I mean for Universal Good. Anyway, PERSISTENCE backed by resentment and righteous indignation--or drop the resentment and go for the RI, because YOU ARE RIGHT--eventually eats away at even the most self-righteous money managers. If you threaten him with falling apart from the constant stress--mention those spiders traveling from HB's to your house--and keep on him--that's the clincher--KEEP ON HIM--until HE thinks he is going to lose HIS mind. I find it works every time. They hate you at first, actually for a long time, until they somehow catch up with YOUR way of thinking. It's almost like a brain transplant, but more painful, because whether they admit it or not, inside, they must finally face what they have avoided for so long: the truth.
HB--remind me to tell you about my Moto family album, a la pooh chronicles.
Where is Peach?:( Where is Bobbie?( Where is Pirate:(
Love and Big Hugsxoxo
Ladeeda, hope you have a happy and healing week. Many prayers to you and Ruth, bless her heart. We must pray for the family, too, as well as the terrorists that scourge our planet. I'm serious. Sometimes I forget to pray for those who are not being prayed for. They need it the most:)
Love you ALL, be careful for tornadoes, and HB's flying schitt . She says she doesn't give it, but have you ever known her to ignore any type of schiit?
Hugs, christina

Christina!!! *tackles* oh hugs....

You my dear are on a roll today...although we haven't yet had a funnel cloud, we are on a flying schitt watch until 4pm today. You are so funny and quite correct...I SAY I don't give a schitt, but really schitt is all I can think about. Folks with general anxiety disorder think and worry about everyone's schitt.

I am trying to adopt zoom therapy for myself....it is so hard to detatch! I am your devoted fan and I am practicing your teachings. I am so human it takes me forever to live the lesson. Be patient master for I am paying attention, I've been headbanging for so long I think I've damaged something. Hubbie bought me a book "Peace in every breath" by Thich Nhat Hanh. I love that peaceful little monk. I'll start that today.

Where indeed are Terd, Pirate, Peach, Bobbie? Thinking about you guys and hoping that if you aren't here that you found something better to do.

Love to all....HB

HB, Please. You are, indeed, my teacher, and yet, if we can learn from each other, isn't that what life is all about? Just because I'm older and did the Moto chronicles long before your thoughts of pooh came to mind--other than Kindergarten doodoos--, I am quite certain you passed me by long ago. My talents take other forms than a scribe. I get exhausted and distracted easily, must move on to other causes and deeds.
It's just that I learned early on the importance of expressing myself, as I tried in every way imaginable to be understood in my childhood.
BTW: are you in the flying schitt area? My thoughts and protective prayers are going out to all you wonderful people who may be. That scenario would totally "do in" my Mother.
I walked by her quickly the other day, and she let out a gasp,
"Oh my Gosh!!! It's so COLD in here!!!" Serious.
All my Love and Hugs. Have a warm, happy day, Everyone:)

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.


They just have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. (Except for Ted of course...he's one of the good guys)

Share this with all the good apples you know.

That is so cute, Jam:) Yes, my husband aimed high, as did yours.
I'm a cross between a 'pink lady' and a 'jazz' apple, Jam. How bout YOU? Sometimes I become a little "sauced", but usually I'm fresh, sweet and crispy.
Now, what about that old fox who couldn't reach the grapes, let alone the apples? Out-foxed, he was. Sour grapes and all that.
I had to stomp my husband for the first 15 years to get him fit as a bottle of wine, not the boxed kind. YEE HAW!!!

Hiya! I'm here, finally, today is not a good day on the home wifi so I stepped out to the library to do an application for an overnight baking job. I have baked proffessionally in the past and like it a lot, plus, if I can work the graveyard shift, when mom is asleep, (with maybe a little help from the pharmicist) it would get us out of this horrible money situation. It seems no matter how I tighten the budget or change things around, we're short a couple hundred EVERY MONTH! very frustrating. and maybe I'd be able to start putting something aside for myself when I need it. (I know, that's very selfish of me isn't. I should get 4 jobs and leave the money around for my sister to steal, it's only right.)

I hope to be back online soon, have some fun, be good to yourselves, laugh.

HB, Good work! I'm glad you and the doc have a sensible view of what her situation is.