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good afternoon u all . power was out from 3 am to 10 am . wow . found out the tree uprooted and fell on the power line . im just glad its back on again . where is miz , deefer , peachie , deflex , austin , and of course bobbie . you guys dont even get on anymore . :-( wheres the newbies ? figured they would come back and hang out with us , but nope . got pa up this morning , my muscles in my back 2 diffrent places were tight so hard . pa s all cripple and give me all my strenght to lif him up , i growled at him told him to stop that cuz i cant do it since im in pain , it put him in down mood , whimeprin and whiney , i told him i was sorry for begin cranky cuz i am hurting . he says i know i know . took some soma s last night and took another one this morn , seems to ease up the pain but i can still feel it . well where is that happy pill at ?? im so ready for it ! where is it ??? xoxo
I wish I wasn't a selfish wretch!!!! I am such a freaking whiner.
About 12 weeks ago grandma broke her front tooth on a piece of chicken. (yeah ironic isn't it?) The entire front face of the tooth came off in one piece, leaving a tiny little rounded stub. We were so lucky there were no sharp edges. So I thought. Not lucky enough because she just couldn't live that way. She declared her misery to anyone who would listen (often because she forgets she told you 60 seconds ago) that life just isn't worth living without her tooth.
She was in such a state of devastation about it that my mother arranged to take her to a local dentist who built up a tooth from resin for her. Nothing invasive, $280 later everyone is happy. During the exam the dentist told us that all of the nerves in grandma's teeth are dead. She feels no pain or sensitivity in the teeth because there are no nerve endings. So this isn't a pain issue, he actually drilled her tooth without anesthetics and it didn't hurt her. Basically her teeth are paper and are breaking at a fantastic rate and there isn't really anything we can do about it. He hoped this repair would carry her from now till the afterlife because there wasn't much more he could do without digging out the peg and bridging it, doing an implant, or trying to crown it. All of this was discounted in advance by her hospice nurse because it was considered too much stress.
Tonight I hear wailing from upstairs. Grandma broke the tooth off AGAIN on a canned greenbean. (the bean, she wasn't eating the can). My mother is going to arrange for us to rush her to the dentist to fix it again. Isn't that wonderful?
WTF batman....really? Will someone please pass the smelling-salts? All her teeth are breaking and we aren't in a position to pull them all and denture her. THERE IS NO POINT. The teeth are practically dust so the repair doesn't hold. I feel like I am living in the twilight zone.
So I try and tell her...it really can't be seen. Her lip covers her front teeth when she talks and she is still lovely. What kind of b*tch am I? She can't smile another day in her life if it isn't fixed. (Oh yeah what was I thinking...the sun was starting to set on my favorite zombie). She can't even think about it without bawling and I am just totally heartless. Soooo we are all going to the dental office tomorrow or whenever she can get an appointment because mom can't take her alone.
Operation cosmetic compassion starts tomorrow at a time unknown, whatever time the dentist can get her in. My plans to shop on my day off for my trip...in the toilet. Elizabeth Taylor can't live or die without her tooth.
My mother is really showing me how compassion is supposed to operate. I only wish I could do the same. I probably would feel different if there wasn't always some emergency or need that kept me from leaving here when I was supposed to be off. But there is. I'm always supposed to be flexible and help no matter what it is big or small.
Am I completely wretched? Or is my mom just beating a dead horse by dragging her to the dental office for cosmetics?
Lhardebeck: I'm so sorry you are hurting today. I haven't found the fabled happy-pill but I will be happy to share if I learn the recipe or find the dealer...
You are such an angel with Pa. If only I had your patience!!! You are very inspiring to me.
Glad you got your power back..I definately know what that is about. Life just is better with electricity!
Jam -maybe the cymbalta help with her pain I was going to stop taking it after my husband died and my rhumatologist said it help with the fibro pain Miz I am so sorry for all you are going through Ladeeda the family knows what a gem they have in you-even though they will never reveal it to you and you have been Ruth's angel with making sure she gets taken care of so well they know they could not keep her home if it was not for you and I am sure in some way Ruth knows that herself. Where is Bobbie -hope she is ok and I hope all you overworked and unappreciated caregivers have a good night's sleep you are all in my prayers.
HB, there is a art clay that I use to make jewelry and dolls heads, it is called Polymer Clay. Go get some, shape her up some teeth, bake em in the oven and buy some super glue.!!!!! It is cheaper, you'll have some fun(finally) making the teeth and everyone will be happy... OK NOT REALLY, but it was just an idea... God is trying to tell you all you need for your trip is clean underpants, toothbrush, toothpaste, deoderant, , couple of sets of clothes, shoes. You have to have room in your suitcase to bring back goodies......
Ladeeda: So God doesn't want me to wear bras in india? That is what I need to get a few of. LOL...I think they have a problem with folks like me bouncin around their country if you know what I mean. I'm too immodest at the moment.
I also needed to get some gifts to bring to the family there. It is customary for a gift to be given to the hostess in the home you are staying in. My daughter told me this was real good Mojo. Right now all I have it my grandma's tooth!
You know...naughty Ladeeda, I was all up into your advice...I was like damn...this girl is so resourceful. Maybe I should go bake a tooth and paste it on. Then you had to come clean. I would have been at the craft store tomorrow. Again...too much headbanging for me.
It seems to me that when there was the full moon and our aged relatives were crazy, we were very active because we had to fight. They have calmed down, now, so we are like balloons who are deflating! How much are we conditioned by them??? HB, my father, after having a heart attack, took aspirin! And he didn' t have to do any blood test. i think that is a good decision. About Ruth's relatives, if they want to get rid of her, why crash a good car? there are many unexpensive ways. And that's all for today. Sskape, I have not seen the movie with Colin Firth yet, I don't know when it will arrive here!
Who crashed a car? I thought I read everything. What did I miss Ladeeda?
Rossella: Feeling better about the aspirin. More people are reassuring us and it feels like the right decision. Yes our elderly as a group were crazy last full moon. When grandma asks me to jump, I don't even question it anymore...I just jump. Otherwise she'll poop in her pants.
Actually I take an aspirin a day myself and I'm only 52 and I'm talking the like 385 mg or whatever it is. Doctor's orders. Major family history of heart disease.
yes, I'd be curious to see wreckless Ruth behind the wheel. Yikes! Hope she doesn't get any ideas at the NH ... Enjoy your respite Ladeeda! Grab some clay! I have a kiln waiting for use.
HeadBanger made Boat Time! Amazing how that number at the top of the page keeps clicking away!
Unless it is in another post I know nothing about, a car was not crashed. Ya'll may be refering to Ruth's son giving her the keys to HER car and letting her DRIVE. Poor Ruth had a rough weekend with her daughter and son. Saw things about the son that I will find hard to forgive. No, Trust is the word. I will never trust him with her again. Yes she was going on and on about her car, so he just gave her the keys and up to the house she came. She was placed in a NH today at least she will be safe from her abusive family. Be glad when i can get around better and go see her. I am sure they are trying to get her meds right. My heart breaks for Ruth, she doesn't know what is going on, and for them to be so mean to her on top of that, I just can't wrap my head around that. And people worry about the paid caregivers being abusive, this is a turn about that I am sure the authorities would like to hear about. If that kind of stuff ever happens again, my job be damned, I am calling.
Almost a year ago my mom started having her teeth pulled so that dentures could be made. She already had a bridge but it had broken and the rest of her teeth were falling out. The worthless dentist that the nursing home uses never got around to fitting and making her dentures before she passed away. Dietary ground her food and she did just fine. Col, on the other hand, I don't know what we're going to do with her. She is so damn vain about those stupid eyelashes, but when it comes to her teeth, the front ones have chipped off from falling and hitting her face, are black and I bet will start to loosen. I offered to take her to the dentist but she ignores me and will not go. Maybe I could get the doctor to cut off one of those claws on her toes and glue them in when her teeth fall out. Drum roll..................yes the col put on the brown mascara.....but hold onto your hats.........very tasteful and just enough to darken her lashes a little and didn't smear it. I told her the older a lady gets she should not wear mascara on bottom lashes and maybe it sunk in..... She's been bugging the hell out of me all day......found copies of her 2009 tax folder and has been writing down figures so I can compare with 2010 taxes. I am so tired of explaining to her that I have all of her information and will get the job done.....even hubby finally told her tonight to just shut up about it...lol. Going to go put her to bed shortly......
Sleep well......will check in with everyone tomorrow....Hugz!!!
Jam, I have a pretty strong stomach but the idea of the toenails for teeth did it for me....ewwwwww. glad to hear she is not looking like spider woman this evening.
Ok, HB, take the bras if it will make you better. Just trying to suggest ways for you to have more room in the suitcase... you do need to take gifts too,right? Would they be ok receiving a bra, just asking????? Love ya, get some rest and be ready for all the fun things we do tomorrow..
THIS IS PRICELESS: ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT
Dear Mrs. Ms. or Sir: I am in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers? My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY income tax form I've filed for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license, It's on the last eight damn passports I've had, It's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all those census forms that we have to do at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fn address. What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fn copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100. Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the fn government. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off. Then, we have to find some ass hole to confirm that it's really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile......Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed
- An Irate Citizen.
P.S.: Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang.. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor........ WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
And you ass holes want to run our health care system????
Financial Planning Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million". "Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Looks like March came in like a lion for a lot of us. Major wind storms here too. No power outages. FP yelling at mom about God knows what stupidity of his now...I go up stair and pass by door he shuts up..Generational differences, for some reason he won't make a fit at me, but wit his kids... Leave my mother alone asshole, you have been here four years becasue she can't stand to abandon you...you kill her and I will put you in a home before the coroner takes away her body! Moms been pissy at me of late, and realized it and stopped...Yes ma, it is not me! Is it! He goes to ADH tomorrow we do shopping. Gonna get a lotto ticket, saw one in a dream...what else do I have?
I sympathize with the coumadin issue. beware it is a full on fiddly one! if ever there was a fussy drug that is it!
Hope everyone is getting a break some where... Prayers for miz and mil. Take care.
Oh not like article just quotes in paper and letters to the editor.
Good Morning Crew, I am here, just not feeling well and don't really have a lot of energy. I am working hard to not have a pity party for myself but here we go: It's not really fair to say that I, among others, 'never get on anymore' when I busted my ass with the mold post just a few days ago. I love you guys, each and every one and I love myself too. Myself is broken and tired and hurt. I poured out my life to take care of my mom and her falling down RE bs and I poured out my life on this thread. I still have one more GIANT task that I sincerely hope I live through. I have been crying every day for my mom and dad, my horrendous childhood of being attacked by my birth mother's dog and almost killed at 5, with mental illness compliments of my mom and birth mother and how crazy they could act and one still does; alcoholism compliments of my daddy and WWII; abandonment many times over and recently having dreadful nightmares about going north to either finish this all or be finished. When is too much too much. Well, too much for me was in Sept of 04 when this dementia nightmare began for me. Now I am broken and I still have way too much work in front of me. I have tried not to address my issues here anymore because of all of the real time caregiver stress you guys are facing. Who cares about some woman on a boat without a care in the world when you guys are up to your chins in crap? I am in the throes of PTSD and boy let me tell you, it sux. I hope that I can make it through the upcoming insanity of unloading 3000 sq ft stacked floor to ceiling of antiques, books and family mementos without becoming institutionalized or arrested for what I did in order to escape that shithole town in the first place. I have been the best cheerleader I could be for you guys. I started this to reach out to other caregivers about dealing with this all with humor in order to survive. I wanted you all to know that you are not alone when you want to scream and cry. We have talked about writing it all down from the beginning of this thread and making sure the next caregiver that comes down the line has this information in place BEFORE they get sucked into the death vortex of caregiving. Like I have said, if you are not wired for this type of thing it can kill you. It's still trying to kill me, humor or no. I will get rid of just about everything in my mom's house and when I die I will not burden someone else with cleaning out my crap. Thank you all for being here and supporting each other. thank you all for thinking of me. I care deeply for you all and that's what I want you all to take away from this sad ass post. lovbob
Bobbie, sweety, honey, darlin', savior of my sanity, How can I help? I'll meet you anywhere and do anything you ask. I'll put mom back in snug harbor and take care of you for a change. YOU desrve it as much as, if not MORE than, anyone I know.
I'm serious, let me know how and when I can help and I will be there.
Ted, you can't leave your mom and although I would love the help, it would be unjust to both you and your mom. The image of your mom trying to follow you down the hall and crying is way too much for me as I know it was too much for you. Just stay put and the fact that you are willing to help is huge to me, but it's not the right time for you to be stepping away. It's my mess so I just have to suck it up and clean it up; I am just so overwhelmed.
This piece of news just came in:
Because life is very funny, if you want to see what I look like, turn on TLC because they are running the promo for the show I worked on (Outrageous Kids Parties) and I have been told that they are using the clip where I was drafted (unwillingly) to be the 'property manager'. I don't have TV so someone let me know how bad I look. The show is getting slammed on the message boards and of course the people that are slamming don't know that they are the ones advertising the show. The more negative news there is about it the more people will watch. What a business.
Thanks Ted and Miz for being here and I really mean it. Now I am crying the tears of someone who feels loved. lovbob
Oh Bobbie, It hurts my heart to know that you are experiencing such pain.......in the short time I have been coming to this site I can see how much you are loved for so many reasons.You are the reason MANY can continue to do what they do everyday. This site is all some people have to keep them going. And it is because of YOU! I wish there was something I could do to help you......Is there? Hang in there Bobbie......too many people need you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am calling out to the universe to help ease your pain and lift you up!!!!!
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I'll take it!!!!!
where is miz , deefer , peachie , deflex , austin , and of course bobbie . you guys dont even get on anymore . :-(
wheres the newbies ? figured they would come back and hang out with us , but nope .
got pa up this morning , my muscles in my back 2 diffrent places were tight so hard . pa s all cripple and give me all my strenght to lif him up , i growled at him told him to stop that cuz i cant do it since im in pain , it put him in down mood , whimeprin and whiney , i told him i was sorry for begin cranky cuz i am hurting . he says i know i know .
took some soma s last night and took another one this morn , seems to ease up the pain but i can still feel it .
well where is that happy pill at ?? im so ready for it ! where is it ??? xoxo
About 12 weeks ago grandma broke her front tooth on a piece of chicken. (yeah ironic isn't it?) The entire front face of the tooth came off in one piece, leaving a tiny little rounded stub. We were so lucky there were no sharp edges. So I thought. Not lucky enough because she just couldn't live that way. She declared her misery to anyone who would listen (often because she forgets she told you 60 seconds ago) that life just isn't worth living without her tooth.
She was in such a state of devastation about it that my mother arranged to take her to a local dentist who built up a tooth from resin for her. Nothing invasive, $280 later everyone is happy. During the exam the dentist told us that all of the nerves in grandma's teeth are dead. She feels no pain or sensitivity in the teeth because there are no nerve endings. So this isn't a pain issue, he actually drilled her tooth without anesthetics and it didn't hurt her. Basically her teeth are paper and are breaking at a fantastic rate and there isn't really anything we can do about it. He hoped this repair would carry her from now till the afterlife because there wasn't much more he could do without digging out the peg and bridging it, doing an implant, or trying to crown it. All of this was discounted in advance by her hospice nurse because it was considered too much stress.
Tonight I hear wailing from upstairs. Grandma broke the tooth off AGAIN on a canned greenbean. (the bean, she wasn't eating the can). My mother is going to arrange for us to rush her to the dentist to fix it again. Isn't that wonderful?
WTF batman....really? Will someone please pass the smelling-salts? All her teeth are breaking and we aren't in a position to pull them all and denture her. THERE IS NO POINT. The teeth are practically dust so the repair doesn't hold. I feel like I am living in the twilight zone.
So I try and tell her...it really can't be seen. Her lip covers her front teeth when she talks and she is still lovely. What kind of b*tch am I? She can't smile another day in her life if it isn't fixed. (Oh yeah what was I thinking...the sun was starting to set on my favorite zombie). She can't even think about it without bawling and I am just totally heartless. Soooo we are all going to the dental office tomorrow or whenever she can get an appointment because mom can't take her alone.
Operation cosmetic compassion starts tomorrow at a time unknown, whatever time the dentist can get her in. My plans to shop on my day off for my trip...in the toilet. Elizabeth Taylor can't live or die without her tooth.
My mother is really showing me how compassion is supposed to operate. I only wish I could do the same. I probably would feel different if there wasn't always some emergency or need that kept me from leaving here when I was supposed to be off. But there is. I'm always supposed to be flexible and help no matter what it is big or small.
Am I completely wretched? Or is my mom just beating a dead horse by dragging her to the dental office for cosmetics?
I wish I didn't give a schitt.
You are such an angel with Pa. If only I had your patience!!! You are very inspiring to me.
Glad you got your power back..I definately know what that is about. Life just is better with electricity!
Love ya hun! HB
OK NOT REALLY, but it was just an idea... God is trying to tell you all you need for your trip is clean underpants, toothbrush, toothpaste, deoderant, , couple of sets of clothes, shoes. You have to have room in your suitcase to bring back goodies......
So God doesn't want me to wear bras in india? That is what I need to get a few of. LOL...I think they have a problem with folks like me bouncin around their country if you know what I mean. I'm too immodest at the moment.
I also needed to get some gifts to bring to the family there. It is customary for a gift to be given to the hostess in the home you are staying in. My daughter told me this was real good Mojo. Right now all I have it my grandma's tooth!
You know...naughty Ladeeda, I was all up into your advice...I was like damn...this girl is so resourceful. Maybe I should go bake a tooth and paste it on. Then you had to come clean. I would have been at the craft store tomorrow. Again...too much headbanging for me.
Love ya!
HB
I'm not buying what your're selling this time. I can't see stretchin out a perfectly good pair of bloomers.
Love ya though. HB
HB, my father, after having a heart attack, took aspirin! And he didn' t have to do any blood test. i think that is a good decision.
About Ruth's relatives, if they want to get rid of her, why crash a good car? there are many unexpensive ways.
And that's all for today.
Sskape, I have not seen the movie with Colin Firth yet, I don't know when it will arrive here!
Rossella: Feeling better about the aspirin. More people are reassuring us and it feels like the right decision. Yes our elderly as a group were crazy last full moon. When grandma asks me to jump, I don't even question it anymore...I just jump. Otherwise she'll poop in her pants.
Love ya, HB
Enjoy your respite Ladeeda!
Grab some clay! I have a kiln waiting for use.
HeadBanger made Boat Time! Amazing how that number at the top of the page keeps clicking away!
Drum roll..................yes the col put on the brown mascara.....but hold onto your hats.........very tasteful and just enough to darken her lashes a little and didn't smear it. I told her the older a lady gets she should not wear mascara on bottom lashes and maybe it sunk in.....
She's been bugging the hell out of me all day......found copies of her 2009 tax folder and has been writing down figures so I can compare with 2010 taxes. I am so tired of explaining to her that I have all of her information and will get the job done.....even hubby finally told her tonight to just shut up about it...lol. Going to go put her to bed shortly......
Sleep well......will check in with everyone tomorrow....Hugz!!!
Love ya, get some rest and be ready for all the fun things we do tomorrow..
THIS IS PRICELESS:
ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT
Dear Mrs. Ms. or Sir:
I am in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?
My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY income tax form I've filed for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license, It's on the last eight damn passports I've had, It's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all those census forms that we have to do at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fn address.
What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fn copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.
Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the fn government.
You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off. Then, we have to find some ass hole to confirm that it's really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile......Hey, you know why we can't smile?
We're totally pissed off!
Signed
- An Irate Citizen.
P.S.: Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang.. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor........ WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
And you ass holes want to run our health care system????
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her,
"But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million".
"Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Two guys are drinking in a bar.
One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"
"Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the VFW!"
Moms been pissy at me of late, and realized it and stopped...Yes ma, it is not me! Is it! He goes to ADH tomorrow we do shopping. Gonna get a lotto ticket, saw one in a dream...what else do I have?
I sympathize with the coumadin issue. beware it is a full on fiddly one! if ever there was a fussy drug that is it!
Hope everyone is getting a break some where...
Prayers for miz and mil.
Take care.
Oh not like article just quotes in paper and letters to the editor.
I am here, just not feeling well and don't really have a lot of energy. I am working hard to not have a pity party for myself but here we go:
It's not really fair to say that I, among others, 'never get on anymore' when I busted my ass with the mold post just a few days ago. I love you guys, each and every one and I love myself too. Myself is broken and tired and hurt. I poured out my life to take care of my mom and her falling down RE bs and I poured out my life on this thread. I still have one more GIANT task that I sincerely hope I live through. I have been crying every day for my mom and dad, my horrendous childhood of being attacked by my birth mother's dog and almost killed at 5, with mental illness compliments of my mom and birth mother and how crazy they could act and one still does; alcoholism compliments of my daddy and WWII; abandonment many times over and recently having dreadful nightmares about going north to either finish this all or be finished.
When is too much too much. Well, too much for me was in Sept of 04 when this dementia nightmare began for me. Now I am broken and I still have way too much work in front of me.
I have tried not to address my issues here anymore because of all of the real time caregiver stress you guys are facing. Who cares about some woman on a boat without a care in the world when you guys are up to your chins in crap?
I am in the throes of PTSD and boy let me tell you, it sux.
I hope that I can make it through the upcoming insanity of unloading 3000 sq ft stacked floor to ceiling of antiques, books and family mementos without becoming institutionalized or arrested for what I did in order to escape that shithole town in the first place.
I have been the best cheerleader I could be for you guys. I started this to reach out to other caregivers about dealing with this all with humor in order to survive. I wanted you all to know that you are not alone when you want to scream and cry.
We have talked about writing it all down from the beginning of this thread and making sure the next caregiver that comes down the line has this information in place BEFORE they get sucked into the death vortex of caregiving.
Like I have said, if you are not wired for this type of thing it can kill you. It's still trying to kill me, humor or no.
I will get rid of just about everything in my mom's house and when I die I will not burden someone else with cleaning out my crap.
Thank you all for being here and supporting each other. thank you all for thinking of me. I care deeply for you all and that's what I want you all to take away from this sad ass post.
lovbob
love,
miz
How can I help? I'll meet you anywhere and do anything you ask. I'll put mom back in snug harbor and take care of you for a change. YOU desrve it as much as, if not MORE than, anyone I know.
I'm serious, let me know how and when I can help and I will be there.
Ted, you can't leave your mom and although I would love the help, it would be unjust to both you and your mom. The image of your mom trying to follow you down the hall and crying is way too much for me as I know it was too much for you. Just stay put and the fact that you are willing to help is huge to me, but it's not the right time for you to be stepping away.
It's my mess so I just have to suck it up and clean it up; I am just so overwhelmed.
This piece of news just came in:
Because life is very funny, if you want to see what I look like, turn on TLC because they are running the promo for the show I worked on (Outrageous Kids Parties) and I have been told that they are using the clip where I was drafted (unwillingly) to be the 'property manager'. I don't have TV so someone let me know how bad I look.
The show is getting slammed on the message boards and of course the people that are slamming don't know that they are the ones advertising the show. The more negative news there is about it the more people will watch. What a business.
Thanks Ted and Miz for being here and I really mean it. Now I am crying the tears of someone who feels loved.
lovbob